The Hay Diaries
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Friday, 18 December 2015
Noos
Mood:  chatty
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, yesterday Maman got busy and I didn't get access to the 'puter! Talk about what Belinda called "Indiggity"! Sure, I got hay, salads, a clean pootie-box and pets, but I didn't get my time on the 'puter! So what's up with that?  I mean, I get that Maman is bizzy with all the Decky-ray-shuns and stuff, but HEY! I'm ME!

We haven't heard anything about the litte lost Ferret. I had it wrong and it's a Girl named Bella. Ewing's Lisa Tusay, a talented animal advocate (among other talents), has motivated her people to look. A picture of Bella would be helpful! It's cold and rainy here, so PLEASE look around your property! This is a baby ferret who needs YOUR help!

Maman took pictures of the Chrissymas Tree and Decky-ray-shuns. Now she has to figure out how to post them. She is NOT Tech-savvy and only has Dada to help her. Some company called CustomByGeek that I don't know used to help her, and they promised to always help her, but you can figure how that went. Maman is very depressed and sad over it. I don't see how a person can "choose" between a mother and wife; that's two kinds of love and one shouldn't be jealous of the other. But Humans are not like House-rabbits. Bunnies all work together to make a Warren; even Urban House-Rabbits who are neutered form Warrens!

GOOD NEWS! There is a large cotton-tail back in our yard. Bad news is that someone again let their catz be outside. They aren't doing their catz any favors and they are endangering the lone cotton-tail bunny! 


Posted by Our Warren at 10:27 AM EST
Updated: Friday, 18 December 2015 11:03 AM EST
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Tuesday, 15 December 2015
SOS - Little Lost Ferret!
Mood:  loud
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Listen up! A lady came to our door last night looking for a 2 month-old ferret that had raced outta her door two houses kitty-corner from ours. It was pretty warm, but it was starting to rain. She had the ferret's squeeky toy with her! Dada got a torch, Maman got an unbrella and Dada went over the compost heap, and the garden sheds, and the lady squeaked the toy, hoping the ferret would come out, or at least make a noise. He didn't!

Now if you're near to us, please look over your property! If you're not near, then please pray for this little guy! It's still warm out (61 degrees) and he's got a chance if we all ~vibe~ together! He's prob'ly skert, alone and feeling sorry for himself. He's got to follow his trail back to his house! Come on, peeps, shout the house down with ~Support vibes~ for this little guy! 


Posted by Our Warren at 10:14 AM EST
Updated: Tuesday, 15 December 2015 10:27 AM EST
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Monday, 14 December 2015
FYI
Mood:  down
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

<sigh> There will be no Hay Diaries today. The power company is screwing up BIG TIME and Maman is frustrated. She just told the computer what it could go do with itself after the 3rd restart and she was inna-middle of editing pictures (which she doesn't do very well!). She is kinda upset, so I'm not going to bother her... okay, she is VERY upset, so I am also upset because she is upset.

I wonder if I can get some Sympathy Raisins out of this?  


Posted by Our Warren at 9:41 AM EST
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Saturday, 12 December 2015
Dis Sucks
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Okay, we pay the same price for this blog that we always have. I checked with Dada. The only thing is that there is a LOT less bandwidth! What's up with that? I can't type as much as I want? WHY?

This is discrimination against Rabbit bloggers. I don't care if it discriminates against Humans - they don't have much to say anyways - but against rabbits? That's Speciest! We'd even pay more, Dada says, but it's not on offer.

MORE specieism! This ain't Twitter or any of the other attenuated communication programs. Those are for small thoughts. I have BIG thoughts and I NEED to express them! And I'm NOT deleting this blog to create a New One. So get that out of your head. Belinda wouldn't stand for this and I won't either! 


Posted by Our Warren at 9:23 AM EST
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Friday, 11 December 2015
Lookit!
Mood:  happy
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Amazing what you can find on the Innernet! Like this morning, I found this: [http://www.weather.gov/phi/PastChristmassnowfallinfoforPhiladelphiaandAllentown]. It's a link to the National Weather Service in Philadelphia/Mt Holly that lists all the Christmas snow-fall frum 1958 till now. 

Not that I go out in it, I don't, but it's neat to know. Most of the years, there has been NO SNOW on the ground at Christmas around here. So the snow on the ground in 2009 was pretty mythic! And climatic conditions indicate that could happen again this year!

But I think its neat. Any day that you learn something new is a good day! 


Posted by Our Warren at 8:04 AM EST
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Saturday, 21 April 2007
George's 4th Strand (2007); Day Number 21
Now Playing: We Are a Warren!
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, there issa'nudder entry dat goes in dis "Hay Diaries" Blog bifore dis wun, but since Tripod is gibbin' dis "Small NZ" rabbit a hard time about postin' it, I'm putting it aside for anudder time when Maman and I hab more Patience. Onna'count obba Fakt dat ebben Togedder, she and I don't habba'lotta Patience atta best ob times, and dis isn't whut you'd call "Da Best Ob Times". (Maman is still sik...) It's not "Da Werst Ob Times," eidder. It's just wunna *those* times when Patience is sumfing Maman *is* rather than sumfing she hassa'lot ob...

Ennyways, since she and I are Uppystairs heer Togedder inna Study, and we BOF hab Thoughts, we hadda Fink aboud Who was gonna ged to Type. And...Since dis is MY Blog, I winned.

Yeah!

Well, I don't bemember dis direktly, but MissyBun told me onna'count obba Fakt dat she bemembers because she was heer, at Our Warren then, although she was just a YoungBun atta time, habbin' preddy much just arrived heer at Our Warren frum Unkul Michael's in Noo Yawk.

Missy sed dat Maman and Phil-the-Lad had just taken part inna Famous Tommy BunTucker Bunderground, moving Tommy BunTucker frum his old home SumWheres in Bis-Con-Sin to his Noo Forebber Home in Noo Yawk State. Maman and Phil had volunteered to drive Tommy in his liddle carrier frumma Pencilvainya/Maryland state line to the Pencilvainya town ob Scranton where he was picked up by Auntie Laura Garner to be taken to Auntie Laura Tucker and his Forebber Home.

And onnaway back frum driving Tommy BunTucker, Maman and Phil stopped atta Burger King onna Turnpike anna Pressydent obba United States said, "We are at war."

And dis made Maman afraid. MissyBun sed datta day bifore da Bunderground there had been September 11th, and the skies ober Our Warren had suddenly got silent, except forda huge fighter-jet-planes screaming over-head along da River.

Missy sed dat Maman spent a lotta time inna BunRoom dat day holding on tight to me,Hunny wif her face in his fur and he was confoozled and skert onna'cout obba Fakt dat none obba bunnies knew Whut Was Happining. Ebben Belinda couldn't ged Maman to look up. not until Dadda came home a long time later. This is onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman prides herself on not crying - so only da bunnies saw, and we nebber tell.

Ennyways, right afta da Bunderground, Phil-the-Lad went sumwheres toda Navy Recruiter. And dere wassa whole lotta fuss and bother, Missy sed, wif Maman gibbin da recruiter piano lessons so he culd play a song to impress his noo wife (and it was Sistah Beffy's brudder-in-law, Jeff, as it turns out!) and alla dat. And Maman made Christmas come a week early so dat Phil culd hab Christmas at Home bifore he left for Illynoy anna Great Lakes Naval Training Centre.

And Phil was all hextcited. He was going innu da Navy to fight for Freedom and for 'Murrica, and for Bunnies to be HouzRabbits ebberywheres.

And then the Day Bifore Christmas came and Jeff anna udder recruiters came and Phil left wif dem inna car. And Maman watched dat car pull away, and watched as it drove alla way downna street.

And then Maman closed da Big Frunt Door, and went innu da BunRoom, Missy sed, and then she opined alla habbytat doors and sat down onna floor wif alla bunnies in Our Warren and curled up inna widdle ball and cried her eyes out. And me,Hunny stood ober her wif Belinda, and although nobun knew Whut Wassa Matta. they all stood ober Maman and nosebonked her. Because Maman nebber cries.

Now dat was den, and dat was Private. And MissyBun says dat Mawmies crying for dere children is normal. All Mawmies cry, ebben if, wike Maman, they don't admit it.

But whut I don't unnerstand is alla Fuss dat is made now when a Person leebs for da Military or comes home on whut they call "Leave" or who just comes home. There are tellyvision cameras there and people wif big signs and ribbons and flowers and tables wif punch and cookies. And big parties wiffa'lotta "Welcome Homes" and people crying out loud.

And dis is all nice, and as it should be - forda Family and forda Mawmies, but why are there tellyvision cameras? Why is dis suddenly Noos forda Werld?

Can anyone of these hoomins bemember sumbun who came home frum VietNam, and who was booed and spit on? Can ennybun bemember sumbun who came home frum Korea and was ignored? Whut is dis sudden rush to shub a tellyvision camera inna face obba military person, not to say "Fank You for serving", but just to say, "Wookit, you're alive!"

Alla these people volunteered to serve. They read da fine print and they still signed their names onna line. They knew that they might get sent to sumplace dat was all desert, or dat dey might hab to float around inna Arabian Sea, but they raised their hands and swore they'd do it. Dey knew dat they wuld prob'ly ged a good eddykayshun, wike Phil got frum Drexel, but dat dey also culd get killed.

 
Dey are ALL good young people who are out dere serving voluntarily! Not one ob dem was forced to go; nobun shubbed a gun innu dere hands and den tossed dem outta a hareplane over a jungle. If dis was wike dat, den maybe dat Sheehan woman wuld hab a case for her terrible behaviour, but as it is, whut she is doing is just sad. Her son knew whut he was doing, just wike Our Phil. She needs help - she needs her warren to help her get the kind of help she needs. Whut She Doesn't Need is alla tellyvision cameras, anna reporters, anna media people who are exploiting her shattered emotions to make their copy. 

And alla dees boys and gurls are wike Our Phil, only now Our Phil issa Veteran and nobun cares about him, or about his knee wif 40 degrees ob lateral motion. But dat's hokay, becos Phil has Our Warren.

Nobun came to take pikchurs ob Maman when she closed da Big Frunt Door and went and curled up onna BunRoom floor to cry alone - and she wuldn't hab wanted dat. Why does ebberybunny assume dat it is Right and Proper to intrude on ebberybun? Nobun "shares" tears. Your tears are your own and your Warren's fur soaks them up. And your Warren pokes their noses close to yours to let you know that they're right there with you. Nobun else is with you - ebben if they try and pretend to be - only your Warren cares for you, just as you care for your Warren.

Because ebben wif tellyvision cameras alla'round, and photojournalists shubbing microphones in your face, and alla tape recorders runnng to catch a sound byte - ebben wif alla dat, you are OnAlone. Because Those Are Not Your Warren. Those things will all go away. The lights will turn off, the flowers will fade, the memorials will wash away in the rain. All of that public out-pouring of grief is nothing, and will come to nothing because it is not felt. It is not a warm nose that cares about you and about whom you care when alla lights have gone out and the Big Frunt Door finally closes.

Our Dadda came frumma Military family, too. Sumtimes he didn't see his Dadda for years atta time; sumtimes he went wif his Dadda to strange places and sumtimes he got shot at assa widdle boy in strange places wif his Dadda. He was taught not to make a fuss, dat dis was part ob being "military" - dat dis was whut made him dif'frunt frum udder kidlets. His Dadda was keeping Inkland safe and Our Dadda was proud ob dat. And just wike his Dadda, Our Dadda hadda job, too, and his job was to be strong, and not to lose his head and start screaming when he saw his Dadda. His job, ebben assa berry widdle boy, was to stand fast and straight and as tall as he was able and not scream or cry or act wike a baby. He was military and Our Dadda grew up to be independant and self-reliant - which is why dere is nuffin' dat he can't handle!

So when fings happin in Our Warren, Maman and Dadda face dem Togedder. Maman stands in frunt ob Dadda, and Dadda stands wif his hands on her shoulders. Dere issa pikchur ob dem togedder wike dis, and inna background, if you look rilly hard, you can see Phil-the-Lad, and Sistah Beffy wif Annastasia over her shoulder, and you can see Marc-the-Border-Collie, wif Cokie-da-Fat-Cat and Beep-da-Udder-Cat and den Alla Us Togedder inna background. We are, Togedder, whut makes Our Warren.

And if you look ebben harder innu da background, you can see Maman's Bim, and Dadda's Dadda, and me,Hunny and Belinda anna Ancient Dawg, and Maman's Granny and alla udder Ones Whos Went Bifore, stretching back innu Time - because alla dees are also Part Obba Warren. We are not only Ourselves as we are now, but we are also The Lore.

But Whut We Are Not is tellyvision cameras and "national mourning" and habbin' grief councillors to tell us how we are supposed to feel about stuff. We don't hab da "media" to gib us direkshuns about how to act or how to unnerstand whut touches us. We do Whut Seems Right and we do it Wif Each Udder

And we care aboud each udder and each udder cares for us - And THIS is libbin' inna Warren. It's Whut We Do.

------------------------------- By George 

 



Posted by Our Warren at 9:17 AM EDT
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Sunday, 25 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 25
Now Playing: Problems Wif Inkwish
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, assa Blogging BunnyRabbit, I habba innerest in keeping up wif udder bloggers who also happin to be typing inna Urban Blogosphere onna East Coast. And as I was reading, I happined to read a bog by sum hoomin who werks for sum hoomin fing called "Vanity Fair" who seems to habba Problem wif Inkwish.

Now I find dis sad on menny levels, and assa Longtime Observer Obba East Coastie Blogging Scene frum habbing been associated wif Wunna Da Furst HouzRabbits to ebber Blog Onna WerldWideWeb, Belinda Bunny (fum whom I inherited dis Blog), I feel I hab a Right to post An Opinion.

So here we go.

Frust ob All I happin to LIKE Inkwish hoomins Libbin' Onna East Coast. In dis, I disagree wif dis hoomin frum Vanity Fair.

Obviously, he has no Dadda

Onna udder paw, We heer at Our Warren do hab a Dadda and he comes frum Inkland, which makes him Inkwish.

And Our Dadda is Very Important to Alla Us Togedder.

Maman says she'd pro'bly hab curled up and died a wong time ago if it wassn't for Our Dadda, which is quite pos'ly Troo, gibbin the way she is allus talkin' to Da Dawg. She'd do much Bedda Axtin' Us.

Now, Our Dadda does drink a lotta stuff called "tea". It comes in bags dat go in big cups dat Maman says are only for him and nobun else has dem. He also hassa "kettle" dat sits onna counter inna Kitchin dat is also just for him. Dis kettle is eidder OFF and Quiet, or ON and whut Dadda calls "singing" or Whut We Call "growling". Maman says dat we Each Hear Whut We Hear.

Ennyways...

Now dis tea is Obviously 'Portant stuff to an Inkwish hoomin.Sumfing goes wrong, Our Dadda puts onna Kettle. Our Dadda wakes up inna middle obba nite, he boils a kettle. Da Cokie-Cat or Dawg does sumfing stoopit, Dadda calls dem "You Buggers!" and boils a kettle. He is ushually allus calling Maman onna cell-phone fing axting her to "be a deer and put a kettle on for me." Which, while she stays Maman and doesn't change innu ennyfing dif'frunt frum Whut She Is, she allus does. 

Our Maman can't do much, but she can boil a kettle wif da best obb'em.

But dere is nuffin' to complain about Dadda's Drinkin' Habits, hextcept dat we don't share dem. Dis is Hokay wif us onna'count obba Fakt dat we drink wadder. Keep da wadder coming and we won't make cracks about "Ewwwww! Tea!"

Fair is Fair. 

Now Maman usta lib in Inkwand, which made her anna'Murrican Adrift inna Foreign Land, which was Hokay because she felt wike she At Home (but where she was in Inkwand was preddier, she says, onna'count obba Fakt she says she's notta Huge Fan ob Noo Joisey.). As she says, "Habbin growed up preddy much in Phillydelphia and Noo Joisey, Manhattan was aboud as Foreign as you can get and still stay on dis planet."

And as Phil-the-Lad (who has libbed lotsa places wiffa Navy, inklooding Inkwand) sed, "Da fing is, whut madders is whut pooties you are used to dealing wif. It is allus bedda to deal wif da pooties you know. You can lern to deal wif udder pooties, but it takes more time and patience." 

And Bunnies know dat dis is Troo. It is allus harder to come to unnerstand unfamiliar pooties, which is why we prefer it if you leeb our habbytats As We Hab Dem.

Dis is sumfing dat da Guy Frum "Vanity Fair" doesn't seem to unnerstand.

Just becos he wikes his own pooties, udders hab dere own pooties dat dey also wike.

It doesn't make his pooties bedda, just dif'frunt.

Now dere is such a Fing assa Pooty War. And it can be a Grim Business.

A Pooty War is when Wun Bunny comes innu a Noo Warren and tries to take ober da Top Bunship frumma 'Stablished Top Bunny. Anna Wun Bunny begins to leeb a trail ob pooties outside da Personal Habbytat obba'Nudder Bunny. And den da Nudder Bunny responds wiffa trail ob dere own pooties. And preddy soon dere are two Walls Ob Pooties, and each Bunny Seeing Which Bunny Can Build a Higher Wall ob Pooties

Sumtimes dey leeb PeeMail, which can rilly begin to upset Maman.

Ennyways...

The Last Time dis happined in Our Warren was whin Mr Mouse challenged Belinda Bunny forda position ob Top Bun in Our Warren.

I wassa berry small Babby George, berry Noo to Our Warren and Belinda Bunny was a ten year-old Inkwish Spot Bunny. As Mouse says, if he had known Belinda had Cancer, he nebber wuld hab Challenged her, but ebben so, da two ob dem built two Pootie Walls dat , as Maman sed, were worthy ob two Buzwizer Clydesdales fed on good pasture.

Now Mouse says he *let* Belinda win. Dadda says Belinda wassa most Efficent Converter ob 'Salad-to-Shit'." he'd ebber seed on "God's Green Earth" and dat Mouse nebber stood a chance (mainly onna'count obba Fakt dat Mouse issa Netherlands Dwarf rabbit and Belinda being Inkwish hadda 'Natural'Vantage' ob prob'ly coming frumma 'Norf' which made Maman yell, "Hay!" and we all sed, "Hokay! Bring sum in!"). 

But dis is not da Point.

Da Point is dat Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren hab taked a Vote and hab decided dat habbin' Inkwish hoomins onna East Coast are mostly a Preddy Good Fing. Maman's Whole Family ob Hoomins arrived heer in sumtime called "1629" which issa Long Time Ago, and frum Inkwand, too. And Our Dadda came frum Inkwnd in sumtime called "2000". Our Warren was 'Stablished in 1996 by Maman, and Belinda Bunny, Proud Inkwish Spot Bunny, began dis "The Hay Diaries" blog in 2004 and I'm George, Small New Zealand White Bunny, the Easter Bunny left all OnAlone inna cardboard box atta V-E-T's, and I'm keeping dis Blog going!

And We are, Alla Us Togedder, geddin' Along.

And We are All Dif'frunt.

But We Don't Care! *Footflicks!*

You know, sumtimes, alla dees East Coast bloggers hab just got to Ged Ober It; dey use dere Gills to strain da Ocean ob Werds to Strain Outta Smallest Ideas! So heer is My Idea: Alla Us Togedder make A Warren.

It's Whut We Do

Whut I fink is Most Important is dat dere are bunnies imprisoned in outdoor hutches, and being sold as Easter Toys, and libbin' libes ob silent desperation while hoomin pollyticians fink dat Only Udder Hoomins madder and udder hoomins Just Don't Care! 

Will YOU remember "To Make Mine Chocolate" this year? For EVERYBUNNIES' SAKE!

Dis Whole, Big, Beautiful Werld, wif alla it's subtle Seekrets, alla it's Endless Mysteries, and alla it's Glories, is Wun Big Warren dat we all share. We need to concentrate on being Alla Us Togedder, NoBunny OnAlone!

----------------------------------------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 1:01 PM EDT
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Monday, 19 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 19
Now Playing: A Preddy Good Day!
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, Dadda hadda Nightmare aboudda Cokie-da-Fat-Cat fallin' innu da toilet and not bein' able to ged out. So Dadda god'outta bed, walked Uppystairs, putta'lid down onna toilet and came back Downnastairs to bed.

I found'dout aboud'dit onna'count obba Fakt dat I heard him walkin' around and *thumped* and Dadda yelled frumma Dining Room, "Shaddup, George! It's only me puttin' da lid down onna toilet soda Cat doesn't fall in!"

And I'm sitting there in my hay, finking, "Whuttaheck?" whenna Dawg cruises through, wooking for a DrinkObWatta, as he allus does when he's been sumwhere's wif Dadda - wedder Dadda wanted him or not. It's kind obba Collie-Dawg fing, onna'count obba Fakt dat it is wunna Da Dawg's Jobs to go wherebber Dadda goes, ebben if Dadda is only in his unnerwear and bafrobe.

Soda Dawg stopped by and haddda DrinkObWatta and sed dat he and Dadda had been Uppystairs, puttin' down da toilet lid so Cokie-da-Fat-Cat wouldn't drown.

So I axted him, "Was Cokie inna toilet?"

Anna Dawg sed, "No, but you nebber know whut culd happin wiffa Cat, which is why we was Up dere."

And dat's when I pointed out dat Bafrooms made No Sense.

I mean,

  • Why habba room where it rains indoors?
  • Why habba stone sink dat is raised up too high fora bunny to reach?
  • Why habba swirly toilet pond dat is so high it hasta be jumped innu and once you're innu it, it is so low and slippery dat you can't ged out?
  • What's da point ob floors dat are too slippery to run on?
  • And why keep a baskit fulla nice, shreddable paper in dere, too?
  • And why hang a roll ob soft paper onna toob onna wall?
  • None obbit is bunny-friendly in any meaningful way.

Anna Dawg sed dat it was not Dawg friendly, but dat it culd be, 'cept Maman allus yelled her hed off if he went in dere to habba drink outta da swirly toilet pool.

"So whut's da point ob habbin' it? It don't hab Cat-cooties, mainly onna'count obba Fakt dat it is too high for dem. And too slippery." Said da Dawg. "So it is perfeckt for me. But Maman geds all stoopit and histerikal when I habba drink in dere."

"And whut's wif bringing alla rain inside?" Axted Mr Mouse. "Da hoomins run Inside da houz outta da rain frum Outside, but they go Inside obba Bafroom, take of alla dere clothes, and den ged Inside obba'nudder liddle room wiffa indoor rain on. Dat makes No Sense, but they do it On Purpose!"

And Missy menshuned dat there wassa "sink" also inna Kitchin. "And Maman puts stuff inna wadder to make sudz." She added. "Den she puts inna dishes. She ruins perfektly good wadder by puttin' inna sudz. You ebber smelled dat sudz-stuff? It smells horrybul. Den she puts inna dishes."

Anna Dawg just wagged his tail back and forf. "I dunno. But Dadda is 'fraid datta Cokie-Cat will drown inna swirly toilet pond Uppystairs if he doesn't putta'lid down. So dat's whut we were doing. Now I gotta go to bed so I'll be there in case Maman geds up and falls ober."

So da Dawg went off and we went back to our hay.

We had big piles obbit last nite along wif our salads. Maman sed datta Romaine didn't look "special" and dat she and Dadda wuld hab to go toda "Markit" onna'count obba Fakt datta herbs were preddy much Gone, too.

And Dadda sed dat wuld be "Hokay" onna'count obba Fakt dat dey hadda go to pik up Beebe-Bunny's meddysin afta they taked Da Dawg toda v-e-t's for his 10,000 Mile Check-up.

And because we're careful ob Beebe onna'count obba Fakt dat he issa Senior Bun and Not All There, we hadn't axt him aboud where he had bin inna carrier yet. He had come back preddy soon, but he was shakin' and berry tired, so we didn't axt him much rite den. But he waked up much later afta salads and hay.

And he had bin to see Dr Sharin! Yeah!

"And I habba small cold and not pneumonia." Beebe sed. "And Maman puts drops in my eyes, so I'm letting her. Whut else can I do?"

And he sighed and huddled up.

So I sed, "Well, you gots raisins."

"Dat is part obba RIFRAF Roolz." He sed. "Da Roolz dat Belinda Bunny was allus talkin' about and typin' onna Inner-net and Stuff. She wassa great one for Roolz. She typed down alla Roolz onna RIFRAF News page and was allus tellin' people to go see da 'Bunny Bill ob Rites'."

And you can read this Most Impawtant Dokumint Ebber Typed By Bunnies, For Bunnies, too! At http://rifrafnews.thehaydiaries.com which is it's new location from http://hawthorns_homes.tripod.com/belindabunnysbunnychat/ which is way too long obba URL, so I renamed it to make it easier for hoomins who are not used to such long names for things.

So, ennyways...

Beebe sed dat while he was at Dr Sharin's some vet-tech came in and said to Maman, "Well, which one do you want to weigh furst?"

And Maman, who knew dere was only Beebe inna carrier wif his Stuffie was wike, "Whuttaheck?"

And Dadda sed, "Dere is only wun bunny."

Anna vet-tech, who was leaning ober da side obba table-inna-middle-obba-room says to Dadda, "Dere are TWO BUNNIES in dat carrier."

And Maman is wike, "Nononono, no. Dere is Wun Bunny and His Stuffie."

Anna vet-tech wooked blank, Beebe sed.

So Maman went on aboud how Beebe had been bonded to Ms Clover and how Ms Clover had gone toda Rainbow Bridge, and how dat left Beebe-Bunny!! behind, and how Beebe had been all sad and lonely, so Maman and Dadda had put a Stuffie bunny innu his habbytat wif him so he at least had sumbun to cuddle up to, ebben though Stuffie was only a stuffie-bunny and not a Real Rabbit.

And then Dr Sharin came in and sed, "Whutta well-lubbed stuffie!" Which all goes to show you dat she issa Bunny-savvy V-E-T!

Anna vet-tech was confoozled, Beebe sed. He sed it wassa shame.

But ennyways, he was preddy glad to see Dr Sharin. That is, until she decided to take his temperachur. Beebe sed dat was preddy much whin he decided he needed to ged back innu da carrier wif Stuffie. It was eidder ged back innu da carrier or else climb up da sleeve ob Maman's coat, and dat wassa tight fit, so Dadda put him back innu da carrier and put Stuffie back inside, too, and they came home inna car.

And den Maman and Dadda taked Beebe out twice yestidday and oncet tidday to putta drops in his eyes and den he geds a treat, which he won't eat until they go away. He still wooks preddy sad, though, and that makes Maman werried. Maman sed,

  • "George and Missy expect attention"
  • "Mr Mouse demands attention"
  • "Poor little Beebe-Bunny is surprised that anyone pays attention to him at all."

And this is ebben though she makes ebberybunny who comes innu da houz come innu da BunRoom and talk to Alla Us Togedder and gib us sumfing frumma 'Frigerator. But now Beebe is geddin' ebberyfing Furst. Mouse is settlin' for Sekond and we don't care, just so we get sum.

So dat's preddy much it for rite now: we're habbin hay, da Dawg is wookin' at his leash and winding up to ged hextcited aboudda "Ride Inna Car" although afta going toda Spa, and Beebe goin to see Dr Sharin da day bifore yestidday, and all, he rilly shuld know bedda! Maybe he rilly *is* stoopit. Dere's allus dat possybillity.

Oh, And No Catz hab drowned in enny toilets!

So it's a preddy Good Day!

------------------------- By George.

 


Posted by Our Warren at 8:50 AM EDT
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Friday, 9 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 9
Now Playing: Begging
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

You godda hab anna'prisyhayshun forda Daynamic at Our Warren: one commint frum Maman can start a Whole Chain ob Events and she doesn't ebben hab to be Trying To Start Ennyfing!

Wike Last Nite...

I was werkin' on my "Cute", you know, wike I do, and MissyBun was digging innu da pellet-crock, wike she does, and Mr Mouse and Beebe were just picking at their Raisins one-atta-time and watching Da Dawg clogging uppa doorway toda BunRoom as Maman was trying to put da lid onna Raisin container.

Reg'lar nite inna Warren at Bunny Bedtime.

So I'm werkin' on my Cute and standing up on my toes, wif my nose up-inn-air, whiskers wigglin'.

And Maman goes, "Oh Brian, wook at him!"

And Dadda comes and wooks and he grunts, "Charlotte, he's begging."

And Maman opins uppa Habbytat and starts petting my hed, so I whuffle her hand (still standin' on my toes, you know) and her fingers, being rilly careful not to make MissyBun's mistake and nibble on her come-frumma-store finger-nails (which are painted "garnet" dis week to match sum earrings Auntie Irene had gibbed her for her birfday awhile back).

And Maman hextclaims, "He's so cute!"

And Dadda grumbles, "But he's begging."

Anna stoopit Dawg starts to horn in on my Cute by placing himself rite *dere* at Maman's feets, sitting down and wooking up wike "Noble Dawg" innu her eyes.

And I'm busy whuffling her fingers wif my whiskers.

So MissyBun opins her mouf and digs deep innu da pellet-crock, shovelling in as menny pellets as she can. Anna whole wave ob pellets gets pushed ober da side obba crock out onna floor and goes bouncing down da Dawg's neck, ober his back and innu his fur.

Ob course, he's so busy playing up on his "Noble Dawg" fing and horning in on my "Cute" fing dat he doesn't notis he's now fulla pellets.

And Maman says to Dadda, "Oh wook, Brian! Missy does the widdle bucket-mouf fing just wike Hunny used to do Isn't dat cute? I've never known anudder BunnyRabbit who did dat!"

"And she's spreadin' pellets out all ober da floor." Dadda adds, and you can just tell he's grumpy abouddit.

Anna Dawg suddinly reelizin' he's fulla pellets, is wike, "Hey!"

And MissyBun is wike, "Wookit, Dawg, Bugger off back innu da Kitchen. I'm diggin' for raisins heerin dis crock."

Anna Dawg is wike, "Well, I'm waiting for my cookies!"

And Mouse glares atta Dawg and snaps, "Well, wait sumwhere's else!"

And Maman sticks her fingers innu da pellet-crock, and Missy gets all concerned and she's wike, "Hey! What'reya doin'? Get'cher hand outta my pellets!"

And Maman is wike, "Don't shub my hand, Missy, I'm just trying to push your pellets back innu da crock, SweetieBun."

And so I quick stick my hed unnerneaf ob Maman's hand and then tilt it up, so her fingers slide down my nose insted ob fru Missy's pellets, and I'm wike, "Pet me! Pet me! I'm Cute! I'm Cute!"

And Maman calls ober her shoulder to Dadda, "Did you ebber notis dat Missy hassa pointed widdle face, while George hassa liddle square snout?"

And Dadda's wike, "Whut?"

And I wook at Missy and Missy wooks at me and we bof wook atta Dawg and it's wike, "Whutdaheck?" alla-round.

Because wif Maman, dese fings just come outta No Where, sumtimes.

And Maman says to Dadda, rilly patient-wike, "Did you ebber notis dat Missy hassa pointed widdle face, and dat George's face is more square." And den she adds, "I wonder iffit issa male/female characteristic, wike wiffa Catz."

So she calls Da Dawg ober to her.

And onna'count obba Fakt he finks dere's a cookie innit, he bounces ober to her and comes sliding to a stop on his butt, so dat his hed is right uppa'gainst her hip-bone.

And Maman says to Dadda, "See? Marc hassa pointy snout wiffa square end where his nose issa'tached."

And Dadda says, "Becos he's a Border Collie. All Border Collies wook wike dat."

And Maman finks fora minit and den she says, "But wif cats, females habba more pointy face. Wook at Phil's KayCee Kitty. She hassa pointy face, and so does Beep-da-Udder-Cat. And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat hassa square face, wike George-da-Bun."

And Maman wanders back my way, so I stand up on my toes and resume doing my Cute.

And Dadda's wike, "Charlotte, he's begging again."

And Maman, who is now srota concentrating on me, says to him inna absent-minded sorta way, "I know, Brian." and then adds, "But he's cute."

And she starts to take da lid offa da raisin can again.

But MissyBun is not notising dis onna'count obba Fakt dat she is deep innu da pellet-crock

And I'm finking, "Yeah! Da Cute is about to pay off!"

And Dadda says, "I wish you wouldn't do that, Charlotte. It only encourages him."

And in dat absent-minded way, Maman says, "Yeah. I know." and goes on, opining da raisin can.

And Dadda warns her, "If you gib to wun, you gotta gib wun to all."

And Maman says, wike she's sleep-walkin, "Yeah. I know."

And wif her long, come-frumma-store finger-nails, she scoops out a raisin and sort ob pushes it between my lips. So I wrap my lips around da raisin and scoop it right off ob her finger-nail and back innu my mouf.

And nobunny sees a fing.

And just as I'm chewin', MissyBun's hed whips around frumma pellet-crock and she goes, "Whut'chu got?" fru a mouf-fulla pellets.

And I mumble "Nuffin'." onna'count obba Fakt dat I am chewin'.

And Missy gib me "Dat Wook" and sticks her hed back innu da Crock.

Anna Dawg, who has been plastered uppa'gainst Maman's hip wooks up wif Big Bloo Eyes and says, "I seed dat, BunnyRabbit. And unless I gedda raisin, I'm gonna tell."

And Maman says, wike she's readin' da not-too-cryptic dawg-mind, "Raisins are poisonous for Dawgs. Markie wanna cookie?"

And all datta Stoopit Dawg hears issa werd "cookie", and so he goes bouncing away fru da BunRoom innu da Kitchin and stands by His Cupboard, waggin' wike mad, sayin' "Cookie! Cookie! Marc gedda cookie!" ober and ober. Which just goes to show you how easily the Border Collie train-ob-thought can be derailed - toss a cookie onna points and watch da trainwreck.

And I'm still sittiing inna Loaf position, chewing my raisin, and MissyBun is still wif her hed inna pellet-crock, ploughing pellets innu her mouf.

And I hear Maman inna Kitchen, saying toda Dawg, "Hokay, Marc, dat's all. All Gone." And I know dat she is showing him her hands, wif her fingers all spread out, so he knows dat he has had alla Cookies he's gonna ged, which happins to be Three.

And Maman heads off innu da Dining Room and I hear her say to Dadda, "Well, they have all had their treats."

And Dadda says, "I'll turn out the lights."

So he comes innu da BunRoom, shuts out Our Light and Maman and Dadda bof say, "Nite, Bunnies!" and Dadda calls da Dawg and off dey go to Bed.

And den I hear Maman again, "I love George's square liddle face! Did you see, Bri?"

And I hear Dadda frumma Bedroom, and he says, "Yes. I saw. But you rilly hab to stop dat - gibbin him treats whin he begs."

And Maman says, rilly bright-wike, "But it's so cute!" Dat square widdle face wiffa prehensile lips!"

And Dadda says, patient-wike, "Yes dear."

And you can hear da tension in his voice, and I['m finkin' to myself, "Yeah, but Maman allus wins, cos she's just so darned Cute!"

And den Dadda adds sumfing - and you know, it's worrisome - becos he adds, "But it's George we're talking about heer, Love. And George isn't wike udder bunnies. George learns..."

And I'm finnking, "Uh oh..."

---------------------By George.

 

 


Posted by Our Warren at 7:58 AM EST
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Thursday, 8 March 2007
George's Third Strand; Day Number 8
Now Playing: Da Sign ob Spring?
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Guess whut?

It is Spring in sum places allreddy.

Not heer, though. We still hab Sno heer at Our Warren. Da Dawg sed there issa'bout Three Inches obbit out inna Back Gardin, but that the air smells wike it is gonna ged a widdle bit Warmer an then the Sno will melt sum, and then Lake Harper will prob'ly come back (anna Dawg hates that!) and then it will prob'ly be Spring afta that.

So I'm waiting forda Furst Sign ob Spring!

Mr Mouse sed dat Spring blows Up frumma Souf (wherebber dat is), and Beebe-Bunny sed dat he heard frum Murphy frumma Herd in Kin-Tuck-Eee dat Kin-Tuck-Eee is inna Souf.

So mebbe da Spring comes frum dere. Or mebbe it comes frum where Sheeba libs wif Unkul Peter in sumplace called At-lanta.

I will hab to axt.

It is berry important to know where Spring comes frum, onna'count obba Fakt dat Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren hab to be 'Lert for it so we can sing da Bim Song when Spring arrives.

It is beery important to hab Trandishuns and to carry dem out. Dey are all part obba Lore, and Da Lore is whut tells us Who We Are and Whut We Do. Learning Da Lore is part ob being 'Tellygint. Which is how Bunnies grow.

So I'm keeping an eye and ear out heer for Spring.

I did notice dat dere are daffydills sticking up inna Frunt Gardin. Maman remarked aboudd'em da udderday. She sed dey are widdle green spikes alla'long da frunt obba hollyhedge. And I sus'pose dat since I also herd her making a Spa 'pointment forda Dawg and Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, onna'count obba Fakt dat dey are also due at Dr. Peter Batts for their 10,000 Mile Check-ups (and Maman sed dat she is NOT taking dem to him wooking wike da messes dey are!) it will be hokay to axt dem to habba wook atta Frunt Gardin on dere way to habba Ride Inna Car.

Dat way I can find out For Sure if da daffydils are coming up outta da ground and if Spring is rilly coming or not.

Wif alla dis Sno, it is berry hard to tell.

Ob course, you mite fink dat we Bunnies can tell whin Spring is coming, and we can, but only inna Gen'ral sorta way.

Beebe and Mouse are blowing their coats - which is berry gen'ral - onna'count obba Fakt dat dere is bunny-fluff ebberywheres.

Da Dawg anna Bof Catz are sheddin all ober da place, too. And Maman combed out her hair again last nite and told Dadda dat ebben she must be sheddin'. Dadda sed it was more likely stress caused by Da Children, but Maman sed it was prob'ly Spring, so Who Knows?

But shedding is only a Very Gen'ral Sign ob Spring. Dere is nuffin spescific about it.

Whut I am wooking for issa Wun Momint whenna Air Changes. You know whut I mean? It's when you sniff da air, and suddinly, it doesn't smell of ice and cold ennymore, but has dis soft smell innit, dis smell ob soil and ob sunshine, anna smell ob Growing Fings. It's a very Faint Smell, way faraway at first, so faint dat only a Bunny Nose can detect it. And wike, it's suddenly Not There one morning, and then onna Nextest Puff ob Breeze, it's *there*...and coming closer!

Like God touched a cloud and sent it on it's way for whoebber notices it furst to say, "Yeah! There it is! It's Spring!"

And mebbe it's coming up frumma Souf, and mebbe it just comes outta nowheres, but I'm going to keep my ears up, my eyes opin and my nose going - just in case - so I can be da Furst Wun to Notice da Sign of Spring.

---------------------------- By George.


Posted by Our Warren at 10:02 AM EST
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Saturday, 24 February 2007
George's Second Strand (2007); Day Number 27
Now Playing: Babbies
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, I hab dis "Baby" fing figgered out.

Yeah.

I am releeved to know dat da onliest "babbies" around heer are US! Dat's right! Alla Us Togedder are Maman's "babbies" and there won't be enny udders. Especshully good to know issat I, George, remain, da 'Fishul Babby in dis Houz

And Dat's preddy much, dat.

Howebber, last Nite, Maman came home smelling wike sum kinda powder and stuff and sed dat it was onna'count obba Fakt dat she had bin at Sistah Beffy's houz wif Annastasia - who, it turns out, is anudder Baby!

Well, how were we s'sposed to know? We habbin't ebben seed Annastasia yet! We just keep hearing'bout her and nebber axtchully see her, so how are we s'sposed to know dat she issa babby hoomin

Da Dawg is tryin' to act all s'perior wike he smelled dat she wassa Babby hoomin and all, but he's just trying to cover up forda Fakt dat he smelled sumfing strange aboud Maman whin she came back frum Sistah Beffy's houz but he couldn't put a name to it onna'count obba Fakt dat he's nebber smelled Babby Hoomin bifore. So now he's trying to tell Alla Us Togedder dat he KNEW his "Pack" was bigger by wun, but wike Cokie-da-Fat-Cat sed, "He had No Cloo." 

So ennyways, I axt Maman dis morning, and found out dat Alla Us Togedder were da Onliest Babbies Gonna Be In Dis Houz, and I can still be Babby George if I wanna be (although I amma 'dult Rabbit now, still trying to Grow 'Tellygint), which issa Good Fing.

And Dadda sed dis was also a Good Fing onna'count obba Fakt dat we don't need enny more babbies becos we hab Quite Enuf As It Is, Fank You,

"Whut wif dis Stoopit Dawg and Throw-Rug Catz unner-foot alla'time." And den he axted Cokie-Cat again if he wanted to moob frum unner'neaf obba counter inna Kitchin where Dadda was tryin' to stand or become Two Furry Slippers anna Tennis Rakit.

And Cokie sed, "No. Gimmie Moooor food!"

And dis is just wike Last Nite while Maman was falleda'sleep inna Sitting Room onna'count obba Fakt dat she was Worn Out frum takin'care obba Baby Annastasia at Sistah Beffy's houz while Sistah Beffy was there habbin Noo'Moan'Yas.

Maman sed datta Noo'Moan'Yas made Sistah Beffy a widdle cranky, which was bad onna'count obba Fakt dat dere is not much to be done wiff a Groan Woman wike you can Do Sumfing fora Babby.

Maman sed, "A cranky babby you can find out whut is wrong, wike dey habba burp, and fix it. But a Groan Woman who is cranky is just Cranky and you spenda wotta time being Careful around dem, wike you wuld around a bomb dat can go off at enny time. Fink obba Noo'Moan'Yas assa blastin' caps dat hab gone unstable and are threatening to blow up da werks. Takes da starch rite outta you."

Den she sort ob wandered off innu da Sitting Room and dat wassa Last we herd frum her for Awhile, til she sed, "It's not her fault, you know. Ebbery Groan Woman finks Her Way issa Bestest Way. It's Hardwired innu her hed dat whutebber her mawmie finks, Her Way is bedda onna'count obba Fakt dat she Just Thought obbit, and Nebber Mind Ten Thousan Yeers ob Pre'vous Hextperience Raising Babbies - her way is Still Bestest. And dat's Hokay. Annastasia will lib fru it."

And Dadda sed dat was "Counter-Intu-it-tib."

And Maman sed, "It takes a village."

And Dadda sed it was no wonda that alla men left da villages to hunt onna'count ob alla Groan Women they hadda ged away frum.

And Maman sed he needed to bemember how well dat Village System had werked onna'count obba Fakt dat he was still alive, wasn't he?

And he sed dat his Fadder was smart enuf to know Whin To Ged Outta Da Village anna Way ob Groan Women, which is Sumfing He Also Studied.

And den Da Dawg anna Cokie-Cat hadda slight Argumint onna'count obba Fakt datta Dawg was sittin' onna Cokie-Cat's tail-fur. And Da Dawg was wigglin' which was jogglin' da Cat anna Cat doesn't like to be joggled.

So Dadda yelled, "Will you two buggers cut it out!"

And we got our Salads just kind ob tossed innu our Habbytats, and not Put In carefully wif our Salad Baskits wike Maman does it onna'count obba Fakt dat "I've only got two hands, f'crissake!" anna Dawg anna Cat were trying to be helpful, which upsets Missy and Mr Mouse onna'count obba Fakt dat they don't wike Catz-in-general, anna Dawg keeps trying to Herd da Cokie-Cat outta da Bun Room (which is his Job, afta all) and Cokie won't let Dadda outta his sight, onna'count obba Fakt dat he wants his dinner "NOWWW!" and he won't "Will'You'Shut-Up-Cat!" abouddit.

And Beebe knocked ober his Stuffie trying to ged close fora cuddle, which Dadda thought Beebe mite be being Upset and mebbe Aggressib abouddit, and Maman thought he maybe was expressing Grief, and it turned out datta Stuffie just fell ober when Beebe tried to cuddle. So Maman reached in and piked up Stuffie and Beebe gotta widdle bit 'Gressib cos you're not s'sposed to Touch Stuffie wiffoud his Prior Approval (which you can't ged onna'count obba Fakt dat it is HIS Stuffie), but Maman set Stuffie upright and Beebe could ged his cuddle.

But it wassa Preddy Intense Momint

But like Maman sed, "Ebberybunny libed. Which issa main fing."

Yeah.

We're all Still Heer and Reddy to Start Stuff All Ober Again Tidday...

----------------------------------------By George  


Posted by Our Warren at 8:30 AM EST
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Thursday, 22 February 2007
George's Second Strand (2007); Day Number 22
Now Playing: Adding Fings On For Lent: Hawthorn's List
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Maman says Yestidday was Ash Wensday, which issa Beginnin' ob Lent inna Anglican Church callyender. So since we are Anglican Bunnies, we are gonna hab to do sumfing onna'count obba Fakt dat is Lent, which leads up to Easter.

Uh huh.

Now, long ago In Hoomin Lore ( Maman says. Wike I hab lerned Da Lore frum me,Hunny, Maman has lerned alotta Hoomin Lore.) it became Tradishunal for Anglican hoomins gib up stuff for Lent.

Dis "gibbin up stuff" is sus'posed to bemind dem ob Whut Was Gibbin Up for dem and ob Whut Dey Hab alreddy.

Well, ennyways, Maman finks dat Lent issa good time to axtchully Take Sumfing On, which is *rilly* Taking Time Off frum Sumfing Else You'd Radder Be Doin'. Which issa same fing as "gibbin' sumfing up" for Lent.

So Whut Dis Means for Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren issat we heer at Our Warren don't hab to Gib Up Ennyfing for Lent (which issa Good Fing, all-in-all) but we are, Alla Us Togedder, adding speshul Time to Fink aboud Friends and Family who Need Speshul Help.

So we are Addin' an hour wif Hawthorn's List.

Hawthorn wassa Bondmate ob Belinda Bunny. He wassa small white, bloo-eyed Holland Lop Bunny and he was deaf (which means dat he culdn't hear.).

Knowing dat Hawthorn was deaf hext'plains menny fings aboud him:

  • How he managed to put up wif Belinda Bunny inna furst place. (Belinda wassa Inkwish Spot Bunny ob a Berry Demanding Character. She was also da Top Bun in Our Warren. She wassa Bunny who started dis Hay Diaries blog onna'count obba Fakt dat she hadda lot to say, mostly her 'pinions and observashuns on LIFE as she found it. And she and Maman preddy much Ran Da Houz, wif Belinda commentin' and Maman mostly doing fings wrong.) It took a wot ob Courage to be bonded to Belinda Bunny.
  • How Hawthorn got to be a Therapy Bunny. He went wif Maman toda hoomin Hospiddle and Visited hoomins dat were sik. Since ebben da Thought obba BunnyRabbit being calm enuf to go visitin' inside obba hospiddle hadn't ebben crossed most hoomin's Event Horizon, Hawthorn got berry used to hoomins pokin' at him, goin', "Is dis fing stuffed?"
  • How Hawthorn accepted dat nobunny wanted him at first assa HouzBunny onna'count obba Fakt dat he didn't Do Ennyfing. Becos he couldn't hear, he wuld just stay sat by himself alla time. He knew whut It Was Like to be lonely inna silent world nobunny else knew aboud, while ebberybunny else was libbin inna whole 'nuther werld dat he culdn't share. So whin he came to Our Warren, he was allus Hoppy to share in fings wif Alla Us Toggeder and to make shure dat ebberybunny felt Inklooded.
  • Why Hawthorn lubbed snuggles, murmurs, tickles, ear-scritches, cuddles and kisses. He lubbed to be lubbed! And he lubbed to cuddle up and return lub. Ebben wif Belinda, he knew dat touching her, by lying wif his hed on her back was allus da Bestest!
  • And ebben when he got Sik, wif sumfing growing inside ob his hed dat nobun, not ebben a V-E-T culd see at furst, why Hawthorn Bunny was still patient and cheerful and ebber-hopeful dat Fings Wuld Werk Out.

And fings did Werk Out, but not wike Maman wanted. Hawthorn left forda Rainbow Bridge, leebin' Belinda assa Single Bun again. Den Belinda got Sik, and she hadda oppyrayshun and ebberyfing. And Maman cried and cried. And dat is part obba Da Lore as it was told to me by me,Hunny, Senior Bun. 

And dat is also right aboudda'time dat I, George, arrived in Our Warren and axted Belinda if she was my Mawmie. But she sed she wassn't, and dat she did not want anudder bondmate onna'count ob not feelin' berry well.

And I felt lonely and skert onna'count obba Fakt dat I was still Babby George anna Easter Dump and not unnerstanding how alla dat Bad Stuff  happins to so menny young bunnies and all - and onna'count ob ebberyfing aboud being in Our Warren being so new to me, I went to sit wif me,Hunny who wassa berry old Senior Bun by den, and lerned Da Lore.

So ennyways, just afta Hawthorn finally left forda Rainbow Bridge, Maman began keepin' a List wiffa names ob Hoomins and Bunnies she knew who needed Speshul Prayers, vibes and good thoughts. She named dis List, Hawthorn's Prayer List, afta Hawthorn, who was so Patient, Kind and Ebber Hopeful.

So now, for Lent, Whut We Do is to spend time wif dis List, Alla Us Togedder, furst bemembering da Bunnies Who Hab Come Bifore and who hab helped to make Our Warren innu Whut It is.

And den we spend time finking aboudda Bunnies Who Are Heer Now, who mebbe need speshul help, wike Herman, who issa Senior Bun and not feeling well, anna Baby Bunnies in Virginia who all need Forebber Homes. And we send vibes and prayers to their hoomins, Auntie Mary and Auntie Michelle, and are fankful dat dey are dere for these Bunnies.

And Maman says dat ennybun who needs to be added to Hawthorn's List just has to email us and she will add dat Bunny's and their hoomin's name! Onna'count obba Fakt dat dere is No Limit to Hawthorn's List, just like dere was No Limit to Hawthorn's Love.

And we bemember to send vibes and prayers for ebberybunny who is inna shelter, or who is seeking to find shelter, dat dey may find dere way innu opin arms and loving hearts. And dat da wuns who are in shelters will find Forebber Homes, and make room forda ones who seek shelter, sodat they will nebber be turned away, or become lost in their Great Search for a Warren.

And Maman says dat we also hab to fink very strong thoughts sodat da "Make Mine Chocolate" campaign gains strength and acceptance ebberywheres inna werld where dere are bunnies and Easter, sodat dere will be NO bunnies who hab to suffer at Eastertime! Easter shuld allus be a sellybrashun ob Love and Renewl, notta time ob Terror, Abandonment and OnAlone for thousands ob poor widdle bunnies!

Please, nebber, ebber buy a baby bunny assa Easter Present! We are not toys!

Yeah!

So Maman says dat dis is Whut We Do heer at Our Warren for Lent - we are gonna ADD fings to our daily lives wif Hawthorn's List. We are gonna ADD:

  • A Joyful burden of caring for udders
  • A Happy recognition of Our Responsibility toward udders anna
  • A Great Fanksgibbin' for dat which we alreddy enjoy
  • And menny prayers for God's Peace and Mercy for all.

So we aren't gibbin' up ennyfing for Lent, ebben though we are Tradishunal Anglican Bunnies. We're glad to be Adding Fings On...

-------------------------- By George       

 


Posted by Our Warren at 10:13 AM EST
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Friday, 19 January 2007
George's Furst Strand ob 2007; Day Number 19
Now Playing: 'Lert Loop
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Ebbery Bunny inna Warren hassa job. Dat's just Whut We Do. Ebberybunny hassa Place, and ebberybunny is Needed. We are Alla Us Togedder to make a warren.

Onna'count obba Fakt dat ebberybunny is allus bedder at sumfings . We all hab Gifts. So ebbery bunny takes part inna running ob stuff and No Bun Gets Left Out or is OnAlone. EbberyBun is needed inna Warren, and NoBun is ebber useless! 

Dat's whut it means to be Alla Us Togedder!

So, in Our Warren, I amma 'Lert Bunny. Dis means dat I stay awake all night Onna'Lert, making sure datta Warren is safe. I sleep all day to make dis happin, but dat is Hokay onna'count obba Fakt dat I amma NightBunny preddy much ennyways - meaning dat wike sum hoomins, I am more inclined to sleep during da day and be awake at night.

And you gotta'mit, da Werld needs those ob us whose Biological Clocks are set to run inna Dark. We might be dif'frunt frum you, but we are da wuns who run alla Power Stations, and 'Mergency Services, and Hospiddles, and Noos Outlets, and ebberyfing else dat is Opin All Night. Inna Anglican Lore, we beleeb God knew Whut He Was Doing  whin He created Alla Kinds ob Beings.

So ennyways, I amma 'Lert Bunny heer at Our Warren.

Dis is how it werks:

I sleep all day so I can be awake alla Night Long. I stay awake, wif my ears standing up, scooping in alla sounds frum ebberywheres inna Houz and frum Outside. Dere is nuffin' dat I don't hear. And I know alla sounds, just as I was told alla them frum me,Hunny frum when he wassa 'Lert Bunny bifore I growed Tellygint enuf to habba job.

So I stay awak alla Night, inna Dark and Listen. And if I hear a Noise that I don't recognise, I give an Alarm *THUMP*.

This *THUMP* issa berry Old Rabbit Signal that can be herd above ground and also down unner da ground, inna Burrows. It means "Danger ", and it is Serious. I don't hab these Big Feets for nuffin'. 

Well, when I *THUMP* heer at Our Warren, that usually brings Da Dawg, who is Hed ob HomeFruntDoor Sekurity. He also stays awake, staying Onna'Lert for Intruders or Danger.

So when I *THUMP*, he comes frum wherebber he happins to be inna Houz, sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da Habbytat and axts, "Hey George BunnyRabbit, whutssamatta? You all right?"

Now, dis issa Dawg, doing His Job, and he issa Border Collie and Border Collies LOVE habbin' JOBS. It's Whut Border Collies Do.

Ob course, sumtimes, he is so pleased to habba Job, dat he sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da wrong habbytat. And Mr Mouse and Beebe bof hab Strickt Roolz aboudda Where Dawgs Shuld Stick Inquiring Noses, and Most obba Roolz revolve around  "Not In My Habbytat". So whenna Dawg sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da Wrong Habbytat, he usually geds peed on. 

But dis is mostly onna'count obba Fakt dat they are not Onna'Lert at Night and he has waked them up by sticking his Inquiring Nose where it doesn't belong. Mr Mouse issa 'Lert Bunny when it is Day.

So ennyways, Da Dawg comes and axts me,

"Whutssamatta, Geroge BunnyRabbit?"

And I'll tell him Whut I Herd

Anna Dawg will ponder dis.

And he'll axt me, "Did you hear a Cat?"

And I'll say, "I dunno."

Then den he'll axt me, "Did you hear sumfing inna BackGardin?"

And I'll say, "I dunno."

And nestest he'll axt me, "Was it a Cat Uppystairs?"

And I'll say, "I dunno."

And den he'll say, "So whut was it?"

And I'll say, "Dat's why I *THUMPED*! Onna'count obba Fakt dat I dunno!" 

And onna'count obba Fakt dat Dadda says Da Dawg shares a brain-cell wiffa Cokie-Cat, anna Cokie-Cat has alreddy taken da cell Uppystairs forda night, da Da Dawg is now 'Fishully Puzzled.

And whin Da Dawg is Puzzled, he goes off to axt Dadda Whut He Shuld Do Nestest.

Now, ob course, Dadda and Maman are alreddy asleep inna BedRoom onna' count obba Fakt dat it is Night.

But in order to axt Dadda ennyfing, Da Dawg hasta wake Dadda up, and 'splain Whut's Going On.

So Da Dawg sticks his Inquiring Nose innu Dadda's armpit, and den Dadda' wakes up, rilly alla-sudden way, and Makes Dis *BIG SURPRISED* kinda NOISE.

And I'm out heer, inna Bun Room, finkin' "Whutdaheck?"

So I *THUMP*...

...and heer comes Da Dawg, back frumma BedRoom innu da Bun Room, all hextcited, and he's axting, "Whutdaheckssamatta?" 

And Dadda's all awake inna BedRoom going...

...nebber mind whut he's going onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman says HouseBunnies shouldn't know Those Werds.  

But it makes me *THUMP*, again, which brings Da Dawg running back, and preddy soon, it kind ob gets a lot like a string ob computer commands, that We heer in Our Warren call the "'Lert Loop  :

  • IF Noise + George = *Thump*, Then
  • George + *Thump* = Dawg, Then
  • *Thump* + Dawg = Perplexity, Then
  • Perplexity + Dawg = Dadda, Then
  • Dadda + Dawg = Noise, Then
  • REPEAT

Wiffa end result that there issa Whole Wotta Noise going on, sum obbit in Bunny-thumps, and sum obbit in whut Maman calls Anglo-Saxon, anna Dawg ends up Outside habbin a Short Patrol obba BackGardin wedder he wants to or Not. Which preddy much stops the 'Lert Loop, but not bifore ebberybunny inna whole ob Our Warren is Wide Awake...

...Inna middle obba Night...

...so...ennyways... It is now preddy much Time for me to Hab Sum Hay and Habba Nap onna'count obba Fakt dat it is Day, Mr Mouse is Onna'Lert and I need to ged sum sleep...

----------------- By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 10:37 AM EST
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Wednesday, 17 January 2007
George's Furst Stand ob 2007; Day Number 17
Now Playing: Waiting for Law & Order
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

So ennyway...

Mr Mouse is really, RILLY 'noyed onna'count obba Fakt that evn though he issa 'Fishul Spokesbun and Mascot for Lagomorphin Enterprises, LLC., the big, fairly noo tellyvision inna Sitting Room heer at Our Warren won't gedda good pikchur frumma channel-fingy so his old friends frumma show Law & Order can't come where he can see them. 

Hokay, lemme hextplain, because dis is alla'bout Habbin' Choice, and Habbin Friends. Anna Small Mouse-coloured HouseBunny, whose name is Mr Mouse. I'd put inna pikchur ob him, but Tripod is *still* not letting me! (And I 'pologise for da "Comments" fingy not werking right, eidder. Mebbe sumbunny frum Tripod will see dis and FIXIT!)

Ennyways...

Birfore Mr Mouse came to live at Our Warren, he wassa Special Friend to a very wunnerful man who came frum sumplace called "Liberia". And when The Man Frum Liberia was forced to gib up Mr Mouse, because his gurly bondmate-wife didn't want The Man Frum Liberia to lib wif Mr Mouse ennymore (or she would leave), The Man Frum Liberia didn't know Whut To Do. He didn't want to just turn Mr Mouse Out Obba House to try and lib OnAlone because he knew that Domestic HouseBunnies can't survive inna wild, and he wassa'fraid to just *gib* Mr Mouse to ennybunny because there are sum Very Bad People who are cruel to bunnies Out Inna Werld.

So, in order to be shure in his own heart that his dearest friend inna Whole Werld, that is, Mr Mouse, wuld nebber be hurted or skert, The Man Frum Liberia took Mr Mouse toda V-E-T's and asked dat his liddle friend be helped toda Rainbow Bridge, where he would allus be Safe.

Well, the V-E-T saw Mr Mouse and his widdle friend, LuckieBun, and felt sad datta Man Frum Liberia was being forced innu making such a terrible choice. So he axted The Man Frum Liberia if he wuld like forda V-E-T to call sum Bunny People who might adopt Mr Mouse and gib him and LuckieBun a Noo Home!

So The Man Frum Liberia told da V-E-T, "Yes! Please call those people!"

And that's how Mr Mouse and LuckieBun came to lib at Our Warren.

And something Maman discovered about Mr Mouse wassat he recognised da music he heard onna Tellyvision one night! And he made a big fuss in his habbytat, until Dadda piked him up and carried him innu da Sitting Room and let him sit onna Sofa nextest to Maman. And Maman let Mr Mouse hab sum Rice Chex cereals in his own liddle bowl, while he sat onna pillow and watched the show wiffa music he'd recognised.

And that show was Law & Order!

So ebbery time Mr Mouse hears the music frumma tellyvision show, Law & Order, he makes a big fuss, throwing toys and tipping ober stuff until he's piked up and taken innu da Sitting Room, placed on his pillow, gibbin his bowl ob cereal and allowed to watch his show, Law & Order. And when his show is ober, he gibs Maman a widdle nip (because he doesn't wike to watch da Noos; ONLY Law & Order) and goes back home to his Habbytat.

So ennyways.

Da old tellyvision inna Sitting Room broke, and it couldn't be fixed, so Maman and Dadda (who didn't know enny bedda) went out and buyed dis big silver Tellyvision called an HDTV because it was on sumfing called a "sale". And they put it inna Sitting Room and brought Mr Mouse in to see his show, Law & Order, onnit.

Well, Mr Mouse sed dat pikchur was so BIG and so BRIGHT, that he thought dat alla stuff he was seeing was gonna jump offa dat tellyvision box, right innu da room wif him! And he was skert!

But then, it didn't, so he was Hokay.

But da fing is datta place where da pikcher comes frum changed da way da pikchur arrives at Our Warren's Tellyvision and now it doesn't come innu da Sitting Room all clear and BIG ennymore. It's all fuzzy, LOUD and 'noying.

And its been this way fora coupla months, so Mr Mouse hasn't been able to watch alla his friends on Law & Order. And he misses seeing his friends because they are kinda his last ties to his furst friend, The Man Frum Liberia. And this kinda sucks, you know, and is Depressin' for a Small, Mouse-coloured HouseRabbit.

And Mr Mouse seems so sad, sometimes that it makes Maman sad, too. So she and Mr Mouse tried watching "CIS:NY" and "CIS:Miami" and "NCIS" but Mouse sed he didn't rekonnize enny friends dere, and nuthin' to bemind him obba Man Frum Liberia, so he just told Maman to bring him back to his habbytat where he Sulked. He didn't ebben eat enny ob his Rice Chex cereal frum his liddle bowl, and so Maman felt bad for him.

And Maman sed the Whole Problem was down to Cable

Yeah.

If we had Cable, we would also hab Law & Order. But Maman and Dadda sed dat we weren't gonna hab Cable onna'count obba Fakt dat in order to hab Cable, we wuld hab to pay alotta "munny" for useless stuff Maman and Dadda don't want, and ennyways, Verizon (who supplies our tellyphone and 'puters and ebberyfing else) was gonna get Cable soonest. 

And then Our Warren would get Cable, too, and Mr Mouse would hab Law & Order back!

Yeah, well, Whut Happined is dis: The Cable Company sed dat nobun can hab Verizon Cable onna'count obba Fakt dat dey are da Onliest Cable Comp'ny ALLOWED to supply tellyvision inna Whole Area! And if Maman and Dadda wanna hab *enny cable at all* it will be frum Them!

And Maman got mad and sed sumfing aboud dis being 'Murica and she would ged Cable frum whomebber she damn-well liked, and if we hadda wait until Verizon could supply us wif Cable, den we wuld.

So heer we are, waiting...

...A whole Warren ob nice HouzRabbits, a Dawg, Two Catz anna Maman anna Dadda, all waiting to be allowed to hab Choice so we can watch One Tellyvision show along wif One Small Mouse-coloured BunnyRabbit Who Is Missing His Friend Frum Liberia.

Whut issa matta wif da Cable Company dat dey are afraid obba widdle competition frum Verizon? Why can't people choose to hab dere Cable come frum da Comp'ny dey want?

Maman says we gotta 'peshul Fibre-Optik-Cable allreddy inna houz; all sumbunny needs to do is to FLIP WUN STOOPIT SWITCH - and Mr Mouse can habba visit wif his friends frum Law & Order.

Mr Mouse says dat he's willing to talk to Verizon about being a Spokesbun for them so he can habba visit frum his old friends at Law & Order and be beminded ob The Man Frum Liberia who lubbed him so much dat he wuld nebber leave them OnAlone and instead brought Mr Mouse and LuckieBun to Our Warren.

All Verizon hasta do is to call me, George, (and I will talk to Maman)  onna'count obba Fakt that Mr Mouse is too 'noyed to ebben talk to ennybunny right now. Because ebben though Mouse loves Maman and loves Dadda and loves being part obba MultiSpecies Home heer at Our Warren, he still would like to sit onna Sofa, on his pillow inna Sitting Room, and eat Rice Chex frum his widdle bowl and hab his old friends frum Law & Order come to pay a call, just for an hour, just wike dey allus did when he was libbin' wiffa Man Frum Liberia.

And den Mr Mouse will be able to go back to his habbytat afta watching Law & Order wif Maman, and hab sum hay and habba nap, and be a Happy HouseRabbit, knowing dat he is not ebber going to be OnAlone, and dat Sumbunny allus Cares For Him and dat He allus Cares For Sumbunny.

And dat, you know, is all a HouseBunny rilly ebber needs.

------------- By George   


Posted by Our Warren at 9:45 AM EST
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Sunday, 6 August 2006
George's Eigth Strand; Day Number 6
Now Playing: Happy Bunnies
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

 

"The world is so full of a number of things, That I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings!" --- Robert Louis Stevenson

Maman readed that to us lastest night. She reads to us preddy much a lot which is why, she says, we are "fairly 'Tellygint rabbits". Maman told Sistah Beffy dat she hasta also read out loud to her babby so that da babby will grow up and be 'Tellygint, and Sistah Beffy agreed wif Maman that she would read to her babby alla time, which, she sed, is 'zactly whut Maman inflicted on her and her brudder, Phil, and dat whut goes around, comes around - dat in dis case, cos she was readed to assa babby, she was gonna read to her babby, too.

Beffy also sed, "Appuls don't fall far frum trees." Which is good, I fink, because it makes it a whole wot easier to spot where appuls are likely to be onna'count obba Fakt dat trees are easier to see den appuls lying onna ground.

Annyways, whut Maman readed to us was 'zactly troo: because no madder whut bad things you mite be hearing, the werld is full ob enny number ob wunnerful fings.

Wike Castles.

I know two bunnies who hab Castles ob dere berry own.

Yeah!

Issn't dat wunnerful? We're talking REEL CASTLES heer. Just wike castles dat hab kings and queens, and dooks and udder impawtant stuff inn'em.

My Cuzzin, Little Ashy, who lives inna place called SoCal has wun - his berry own Castle!

Here issa pikchur obbit, wif Little Ashy actchually inside obbit so you will know that it is his berry own Castle!

Now, not ebberybunny I know is lucky enough to have a Castle ob their berry own, but this is Little Ashy's.

And heer he is sitting in it like Sir Gwain, pacing the battlements, and as Little Ashy says, onna wookout for vampires to slay and kingdoms to rule ober benevolently, cos dis is Whut Housebunnies Do.

Well yes, bunnies do dream! And why not? We share dreams and stories wif each udder and tell tales anna Lore, and this is how once, inna Long-Ago-Wilderness, we lived through long Winter nights inna snug burrows, deep unnerground.  Dis is pawt obba Lore as it was told to me, George, by meHunny, Senior Bun before he passed over The Rainbow Bridge. 

And dat issa Lore, but now we lib as Urban Rabbits, as HouseBunnies, and now we share the stories ob our lives through blogs anna 'puter. And not ebbery life is sad. And dis is because all lives are filled wif wall-to-wall possibilities, like the possibility of being a Happy Bunny

Yeah!

Now heer is My Cuzzin, Bailey, who libs in New York Citty which is onna East Coast. And dis issa pikchur ob Bailey libbing in his berry own NOO Castle!

Yeah!

Bailey hassa Castle ob his berry own now, preddy much like Little Ashy's, hextcept that this one is onna East Coast and it belongs to Bailey, and dis is his pikchur, so you can see dat dis is also reel - a Bun in His Castle. 

Yeah! 

And Baily and Little Ashy are Happy HouseRabbits! 

So you can see, all acrosst da United States frumma West Coast, where Little Ashy libs alla way toda East Coast where Bailey libs, dere are Urban Rabbits living happily as HouseBunnies, habbin Castles and Kingdoms, Rulers ob Romaine, an' Dukes and Duchesses ob Dandelions Dominions.

Yes, and dis is not to say that ebbery bunny life is filled with purpose-built palaces and cultivated Fields of Fragrant Herbs. We all know that this isn't so. There is still too much suffering and too many homeless bunnies in the werld as it is. And if you habba home to offer to a bunny, you habba means to help change dis terrible Fakt.

But there are wunnerful tales told of Ashy van Helsing, Vampire Slayer! And brilliant stories to which to listen about brave Bailey Fire-Fighter, Rescue-Truck Driver! And there are a few stories, here and there, too, about Little George, Story-Teller-and-All-Purpose-Bunny-Bard.

And there are homes with Bunny Rooms, and PlayRooms, and rooms like Our Warren's Screen Porch that are devoted just to bunnies. There are hearts that are open, and hearts that will always be open to the love of bunnies.

For dis we are Berry Fankful.

And because ob dis dere will allus be Happy Bunnies! 

So, while our werld is not yet perfekt, it is still a werld full of wonders and delight. 

--------- By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 12:50 PM EDT
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Saturday, 29 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 29
Now Playing: Noah's Wish and Emergency Plans
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit


You might notis that there issa Noo Link on my site heer onna left-paw-side as you're looking atta page. See it, under Bunny Blogs? It says "Noah's Wish" and if you click onnit, it will take you to a web site that will tell you alla'bout that organnyzashun.

Now lemme tell you a liddle about Noah's Wish.

They rescue animals when there issa disaster. They are speshually trained rescue hoomins who know ebberyfing about how to rescue animals that hoomins leeb behind when somefing bad happins.

You see, dere are hoomins who don't hab Emergency Disaster Plans that inclood themselves OR their pets. So whin sumbunny says, "Hey lookt, dere issa tornado, hurricane, flash flood, earthquake, blizzard, forest fire, or some other kind of dire emergency heded dis way and you gotta ged outta heer!", these hoomins hab no plans aboud whut to take, or how to ged out, or where to go or whut to do. And soda hoomins run around in cirkurls, panicking their heds off.

Time is berry short inna Emergency. Dere is no time to sit and fink, so YOU GOTTA DO YOUR FINKING AHED!

But a lotta hoomins don't bodder to fink ahed, and so dey don't hab time to fink ob whut to whinna Emergency happins and so alotta times dey leeb rilly, rilly impawtant stuff behind whin dey are panicking and running away. Berry impawtant fings...

Like da bunnies inna hutch.
Like da dawg tied up to a tree.
Like da catz left onna porch.
Like da hamster stuck in his wheel.
Like da fish left inna tank.

Alla Companion Animals left OnAlone inna Emergency wifout help or a way to stay safe.

And den, that's where Noah's Wish comes in. They are trained to go into dangerous places and save the Companion Animals and alla pets who are left OnAlone.

Noah's Wish saved alotta lives afta Hurricane Katrina blowed fru Louisiana. They rushed in while the floods were rising anna dams were failing and cut loose da dawgs that were drowning, and pulled catz to safety, and broke open horrible out-door bunny hutches where bunnies were struggling against da wires to keep dere poor noses above da onrushing water.

Noah's Wish wint into houses and grabbed up hamsters and gerbils who was still floating around in their wheels, and saved catz who had clawed their way uppa walls to shelves hextcape the rising flood. They got dawgs innu boats and sailed dem to solid ground. They ebben gotted out da birdies in their cages and helped them outta winders where they was trapped!

And Noah's Wish gave food and wadder and shelter to ebbery libbing critter dat they saved.

Heer at Our Warren Dadda and Maman habba Emergency Plans for Alla Us Togedder. Dere are carriers inna Bun Room wif towels and pillowcases for alla bunnies (pillowcases are good for transporting bunnies inna hurry - in goes da bunny, tie a knot atta top and you gots an instant, temporary carrier dat is highly portable where da bunny can't hurt himself or udders.). Maman and Dadda know where da Catz are and dere are carriers anna pillowcases for dem, too. Da Border Collie Dawg's leash is inna same pwace alla time, and ebbery fing we need to eat and drink is in two places - da car and inna basemint.

If we gotta run forit, we'll do it Alla Us Togedder, and we'll leeb whin we're told to go, Dadda says. And dere will be nobunny left behind, NoBunny OnAlone becos Dadda and Maman bof agree dat lives are more important den stuff.

"A man with his dawg and his family can rebuild a life from the ground up." Dadda says.

So I am axting you to habba look atta web-site for Noah's Wish, just to see the kind ob training they do, anna the kinda werk they do and how they go aboud doing it.

And I am axting you to fink and plan bifore an Emergency happins.

Please Make Emergency plans that inclood your pets! And make those plans BEFORE an Emergency comes along!

Fings, like a house, and alla stuff dat is innit, can allus be replaced, but Companion Animals can't. I know replacing stuff takes munny, but whut is munny compared to lub? You can't buy lub wif munny, but you can hab lub for free frumma Companion Animal. Lives aren't disposable, cos each wun is just too speshully made.

So habba Look, habba Fink, and then Make Sum Plans. It culd sabe you a whole wotta trubble and heartbreak inna futchur.

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:04 PM EDT
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Sunday, 26 June 2005
Gardin vs. Maman
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Whutta Dawg Sed
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Well, heer we go agin: da continuin' story ob Maman, Dadda anna Our Warren Memorial Gardin.



As you know, we godda Our Warren Memorial Window dat wooks out ober what Maman an' Dadda are hopin' will one day be da Our Warren Memorial Gardin.























Maman made a start on dis by creatin' da Our Warren HerbGardin. Which is berry nice, if somewhat onna small side. But dis is Hokay, because as Belinda Bunny pointed out oncet, "Big twees gwow frum widdle nuts, an' if dat's troo, den we godda whole forest rite heer in dis houz, just waitin' to gwow."



Ennyway.

Maman an' Dadda went toda "Home-De-Pot" store yestidday, where I guess dey sell pots to take home (considerin' da name) an' udder fings (considerin' whut came home wiff Maman an' Dadda inna Buick).

Now bemember, it has bin hot outside, wif no rain for awhile.

So.

Here commed Dadda wiffa widdle gardin fork anna equal-sized small shubble. Why he didn gedda full-sized stuff, I'll nebber know. Mebbe dey will grow bigger ober time. Whutebber.

Den Maman staggars fru da Bun Room wiffa prong fing wif a handle on top for turnin' uppa ground (she says). An' den Dadda comes fru wiffa'nudder bag wiffa hose innit an' sum rose snippers he calls, secateurs which is French for "rose snippers".

Anna Cokie-da-Fat-Cat wanders up,wooks at alla stuff, den wooks at me an' says, "Dis don' wook good. I'm goin' uppastairs, outta da way bifor ennyfing bad happins." An' he an' Beep beats feets forda Office which is onna sekond floor an' dat's da end ob dem.

Hoomins are wrong aboud ratz. It's Catz dat will allus be da furst ones offa sinkin' ship.

Soda Dawg comes up an' sniffs all stuff onna floor, wooks at me an' says, "Oh goody! We be's going outside!"

So I says to him, "You go an' watch 'em an' tell me whut happins."

Anna Dawg says, "Fine wif me."

Cos he's stoopit wike dat.

An heer comes Maman an' she's wearing glubs on hur hands wif fwowers on'em, anna long skirt (ob course) an she hassa square fing tied around her middle. An' she puts dat sekkytoors fings inna widdle pockit an' says toda Dawg,

"Hokay, Hose-nose. Wet's go."

Now I havta depend onna Dawg to tell whut happined nextest, cos he was out dere inna yard an' I wassn't.

So heer is Whutta Dawg Sed:

"Anna Maman an' me is walkin', me onna left-side-by-da-knee which is right, anna Maman comes toda roses an' she says,

"Ohmygoodness, wook-at-dat! Black-spots!"

"So I wook, but whuttaheck? Dere's a squirell inna tree wot's throwd a twig at me, so I run toda tree an bark cos dat's a threat! So Maman hollars,

'Shaddap, Dawg!'

"So I haveta shut up an go sit by da left-side-ob-her-kneee, which is rite. You'd fink she knowed a threat when she seed one, cos squirells issa menace to p'lite compiny, but she dont see dat - she finks dey are 'kyoot. So she's not payin' 'tension to where her feets are cos she's wookin' up forda squirell dat's alreddy gone, an' so she falls ober me.

"Toes inna side! Dat hurts But I don't whimper, doh, cos I amma manly dawg.

"So I know my trainin'. Number A: Sniff da Maman, Number B: Stand steady, Number C: Let her use me to ged herself back on her feets agin; Number D: Sit beside-da-left-knee-an'-wook-up-reassuringly. I am notta Serbice Dog for nuffin'.

"Good-to-go.

"So she goes back to clippin' bits ob rosebush an' frowin' 'em onna ground. I do not hand dem bak to her, cos she alreaddy sed, 'No' an' I ain't stoopit.

"So when she's finished wiffa roses, she moobs on to whut she calls 'Hedge' dat is uppagainstdafence.

"Well, dat 'Hedge' don't smell rite, so I walks ober, lifts my leg, an marks it. She don't like me markin' stuff while she's watchin', I don't fink, but it's too bad. My gardin, an' I gotta mark whut's mine. An' cos I bin out inna gardin wif her for awhile now, I'm squeezin drops, Rabbit, lemme tell ya.

"So she's cuttin' branches now an' throwin' 'em inna pile behind herself. Pile don't got markings on it, so I mark da pile, too. You nebber know. Gotta keep up wif dis markin' stuff or you can loose your terrytorry. Ebbery dawg knows dis, ebben if hoomins don't seem to ged it.

"So by now we're onna bottom pawt obba gardin an' Maman's till cuttin' an makin' piles. An' now she comes to anudder string ob stuff. She makes 'tch, tch' sounds. Says to me, "Wookout forda thorns, Hose-nose."

"Wall, dat's whut I gots hair down'dere for. Keep it cleen, keep it fuzzy, keep fleas outta it an' it werks as it shuld to p'tectk your markin' 'quipmint frum thorns, nettles an all sorts. I ain't stoopit.

"So she's cuttin' an' bendin', an' bendin' an' pullin' wiffa cutters, an' geddin' red inna face an' Dadda comes up an axts,

"Why you cuttin outta blackberries?"

"An Maman's wike, 'Whut?'

"An Dadda is wike, 'Da blackberries. Or raspberries. Too early to tell which, but it's wunnada two. Why's you cuttin' 'em out?'

"An' he's not markin' ennyfing. He's berry lazy aboud markin', I notice. He only marks in one room. Dat is notta way to keep his Pack's terrytory from tresspasses fruma'nudder pack. Ya gotta mark ebberywhere's. Dat's why pawt ob my name is "Marc", cos I dose alla it around heer. It's "Zackary-Marc" an' I don't ebben wait forda rest ob it, I just go ahead an start markin', cos I know Dadda hasn't dunit, ebben if he is Da Alpha Male.

"So I'm markin' da pile ob thorns.

"An' Maman says, 'You meen we wanna keep dees thorny fings? Dey aren't a weed?'

"An' Dadda wooks at'em an' shakes his hed an' says, 'No, dey are berries ob sum kind.'

"So Maman wooks atta stuff I'm markin, squeezin' drops cos I bin out heer so long, den turns around, points to a row ob sum udder plants an axts Dadda, 'Whut's dis stuff?'

"An' Dadda plucks summa da leebs onna plant she pointin' at, an' sniffs 'em an' says, 'Lemmon sage'.

"An' dey go on downna row.

"An'dey come toda lilac bush/tree dat has udder fings gwoin unner'neaf ob it.

"So I'm sniffin' an' still markin' cos now we're outsideobbagate onna side obba houz, an' dat area h'ain't been prop'ly marked inna wong time, onna'count ob me not bein' 'lowed outsideobbagate an' Dadda not doin' his job wiffa markin. So it's sniff, walk, lift-leg, squeeze (cos I bin out a wong time); walk, sniff, walk, lift-leg, squeeze. Good fing it only takes a drop or I'd be in trubble. I notice dat we gots 'possums, too, an' wooks wike a bunny wast week dat was passin' fru fromma yard nestest stoor. She don't come heer regular cossa me, but she comes sumtimes. I don't mind, but I kin smell she's afraid, so I put a widdle reassurance innu dat mark.

"Ennyways, Maman an' Dadda hab stopped an' are starin' byda lilac bush. So I goes back, cos no one is payin' 'tension to me. Gotta see whut's happinin' cos it's da Pack way to do ebberyfing togedder.

"An' Maman is sayin' to Dadda, 'Dis happined bifor. We cut it down an' bury it inna bottom obba buckit. An' now it's bak.'

"An' Dadda is wike, 'Well, you gots to diggit out. But whut I don't unnerstan is: 'Howdaheck did it ged heer inna furst pwace? Sumone pwant it?'

"An' Maman's wike, 'It's natib toda mid-'lantic states. Grows assa weed most enny pwace. An' it's in dis pwace an' it can't stay. Mygosh we'll be 'rested!'

"An' Dadda geds da clippins buckit anna gardin fork an' ebben doh it's a hunnert degrees an' he's drippin' wadder off his hed, he starts diggin' atta plants atta bottom obba lilac tree.

"An' Maman wanders off cos she hassa 'tension span obba well-developed gnat.

"An' cos nuffink seemsta be happinin, I go back to markin. An' dere is dis fing I find inna ground byda lilac tree, stikin' up. Made ob metal. Smells wike Dadda an' hassa brand noo hose atta end obbit. Well, dis hassn't bin marked! So I pick up my leg for like da hundreth time...

"An' alla sudden, da hose jumps, anna metal fing gibs a widdle choke an' HolycowSaintMichaelanallaarchangels, dere's wadder comin' outta dat fing!

"An' it's *REALLY* comin' out!

"We're talkin' sprayin' all ober wiffa *chug* *spritz* *chug* *spritz* sound as it begins tossin handfuls ob wadder around inna circle aroundonna lawn.

"Well, Border Collies are known for dere fast reactions. An' I got good reactions ebben for a Border Collie. So I'm off like a shot.

"Middle-aged Englishmen are not known for dere fast reactions. Our Dadda issa Troo Englishman.

"An' Maman ambles aroun da corner obba houz an' she's wookin' as I shoot past. So she sings out, 'Marc! Come!"

"So I circles back.

"An' she says, 'Sit! Stay!

"So I sits down by her left-knee an' wooks. An' dere issa sprinkler, shootin wadder inna orderly circle onna lawn, an alla piles ob stuff, neatly marked by m, but habbin dere markins washed off byda wadder, an' dere's Dadda wiffa gardin' fork, stuffin sum green plants innu da bottom obba clippins bin.

"An Maman is wike, 'Issn dis nice, Zachary-Marcus? We're gardinin'."


-------------- As told to George Bunny ob Our Warren

Posted by Our Warren at 3:31 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 26 June 2005 4:07 PM EDT
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Monday, 6 June 2005
Memorial Day
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Bememberin'
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, Memorial Day wassa innerestin' week-end, lemme tell you!

Furst ob all, Memorial Day is notta Day, it issa coupla days all strung togedder innu one big mess ob days an' nites when stuff is goin' on. But Hoomins tend to call it all "Memorial Day" wike it was all onwy wun day when it's not.

Sekond fing to know issa Memorial Day issa time to bemember ebberybunny who has ebber bin inna Millyterry Serbices. In Our Warren, it seems dat dis icloods a wotta hoomins...
Maman's Dadda, who is Our Bim, who was inna Naby Medical Corps at Bainbridge Naval Hospiddle.
Maman's Unkul Eck who was inna Army in Europe an' was on Gen'ral Patton's Staff.
Dadda's Dadda, Jack, who serbed inna Royal Engineers, an' was in Burma an' den stayed wiffa Regiment.
Dadda's Unkul who was Jack's brudder who was inna Royal Naby an' serbed onna famos ship.
Phil who was inna Naby in Pepsicola.
An' ebben Maman's greatest great-great-great-sumfing grandest-fadder who wassa gen'ral inna Rebbelooshunary War an' sum stuff, an' dees udder great guys who was inna Cibble War all ober da pwace.

So we had sum Quiet Time to bemember alla des hoomins, as well as alla mules, horses, dawgs an' pigeons who serbed inna Millyterry. An' Phil sed dere are dolphins, too, cos he met sum ob dem.

An' Maman sed it was 'portant for us to bemember dat dere were annymals who serbed inna millyterry, an dat dere were wimmins an' men, an' sumtimes ebben childrens who ran away to be inna Serbices onna'count ob dey beliebed in whut was bein' fought for. She sed dat Our Bim runned away frum College an' so did his friends, an' sed dey was older den dey rilly were, just so dey culd get to be pilots.

But only wun ob dem became pilots, an' his name was Dave Sweet, an' he wassa onwy wun who didn't come back.

Our Bim told Maman dat his airplane went up frumma hareplane carrier wun day inna Pasifik, an' dere wassa fight wif udder hareplanes, an' when alla hareplanes wooked aroun', nobun culd find Dave Sweet's hareplane. It was just gone, an' nobun knew where it went. Maman sed dat mebbe da angels reached down an' taked it, so dat's whut I'm finkin'. You know, dat Bim's friend Dave Sweet flied so high datta angels just reached outta hand an' taked him off to show him da Rainbow Bridge, an' so he an' Our Bim could meet up dere, you know? Afta alla dees yeers.

So Maman bringed us alla us togedder wif her innu da Sittin' Room at Monday Nite an' we listened an' watched sum orchestra anna band an' stuff, playin' music for Memorial Day. Mouse sed it wassn't "Law-n'Order", but sumfing speshul, an' I guess it was, cos we was all dere.

An' Maman sed it was good to bemember, an' good to be sad aboud alla hoomins who had been inna millyterry, an' dat it was good to know how ebberybunny was brave, an' sad to know how young ebberybunny was habbin' to be brave. She sed dat mebbe sumday, ebberybunny wuld know whut bunnies know - dat dere issn't a need to fight ober ennyfing, 'cept against does hoomins who want to make you slabes to dem.

An' whin da tellybishon program was ober, she played a song for us called "Rool Brittanya" (I fink dat wassa name obbit) an' it sed aboud nebber, nebber, nebber will be slabes.

An' she sed dat was for Dadda's Jack.

An' yeah, dat's hokay wif us.

An' we got parsley, sum dill, an' widdle cherry tomatoes for tweats.

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:23 AM EDT
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Sunday, 10 April 2005
ComunnyKayShun
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Anudder Pause
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Belinda Bunny used her Blog to commint on Current Events. Axtually, she used it to tawk aboud whutebber came innu her hed furst, an a wotta whut came innu her hed had to do wif whut was goin' on inna werld in gen'ral.

Now, cos I am still a youngbun an' not quite as 'Tellygint as Belinda, I hab consintrated more on lernin' an sharin' infortymayshun, an not so much on sharin' my 'pinions on werld affairs. But just cos I don't share my 'pinions doesn't mean dat I don't hab 'pinions - just dat I don't share'em.

Know whut I mean?

Well, now I'm gonna share one ob my 'pinions.

Ready?

Here goes:

Stoopit hoomins go ebberywheres.

Dat's rite. Dey do.

No madder where you go, you will run innu stoopit hoomins.

Now, you will notis dat bunnies sort of worry aboud becoming 'Tellygint - for us, bein' 'Tellygint issa Goal In Life. Dis is becos when you are a Prey Annymul, bein' stoopit is not a choice dat will grant you a long an' satisfaktory life. In fackt, bein' stoopit will just aboud allus gar-ran-tee dat you will habba short, nasty exsistance, followed by a terryfyin' end. So bein' stoopit is not whut you wuld call a good Life Choice for ennybunny.

Which is why 99.99999% obba bunnies opt for growin' 'Tellygint.

But hoomins don't. An ebberywheres you go inna werld you will find Stoopit Hoomins.

Now heer is why I fink dis:
1.) Dis mornin', while I was readin' da noospaper wif Maman, I finded dis HedLine: "No Hop For Older Rabbits". So I finked, "Whutdaheck is dis?" an heer wassa artykul sayin' aboud how hoomins were dumpin' dere older bunnies outside so dat dey culd "replace" dem wif cuter, young bunnies dey are findin' at Easter-time. Anna RSPCA, which issa Annymul Welfare Police in Inkwand, which issa YouNited Kingdom, was pickin' up alla bunnies dat dey culd and gettin' dem innu shelters where dey wuld be safe.

Now whut culd be stoopiter den dis? Hoomins wif perfektly good companion bunnies are dumpin' dem so dey can get udder, widdle bunnies? WHY? Dis is unbelieveably sad! To ged rid obba friend just to ged anudder one? It makes no sense. And it is cruel. Dees stoopit hoomins Do Not Deserb To Hab Companion Bunnies Nebber Again!. *THUMP* Dey deserb to hab sumfing painted on dere heds dat will stay dere forebber dat says, "Dis Issa Stoopit Person! Not Allowed to Hab Pets!"

So dere apparently are a wotta stoopit hoomins in Inkwand.

Da good noos is dat Dadda got outta dere bifore he got stoopit wike dem, cos I habba feelin' dat stoopitity is kinda wike a disease: it spreads.

But den, dere are a wotta stoopit hoomins inna pwace called Australia, an inna YouNited States, too, who dump bunnies at Easter Time.

I know. I wassa Dumped Easter Bunny. An I can tell you - bein' shut up inna box an bein' left OnAlone inna V-E-Ts' office is terryfyin'. You try it. It sucks.

2.) A nudder rezon why I fink dat hoomins allow too much stoopitity in dere species is dis: You know dat berry brave, berry kind Pope dat just crossed ober Da Rainbow Bridge? Yeah, him. John Paul (only he hadda nudder name bifore he was 'dopted assa Pope - sumtimes dis happins when you are 'dopted, dat you gedda noo name) crossed da Rainbow Bridge anna wotta hoomins gaddered togedder inna pwace called It'ly to lite candles for him an ebberyfing, to help lite his Pafway Toda Bridge. An den dere's dis Bishop, who has wike NO SENSITIBITY to ennyfing, an he hasta go an ged his name inna noospapers by speakin' ill obba Depawted.

Now whut's up wiff'at?

I mean, dere is plenty ob time for a hoomin to stand up an say, "Hey you. I don't wike whut you are doin'." when da person is alibe an can tawk aboud da rezons why dey are doin' whut dey're doin'. But to wait until dey are crossin da Rainbow Bridge an den shoutin' out, "Hey you!" - I mean dat's just poor manners, you know? So howcome dis Bishop of Litchfield is only bein' critical now? Mebbe cos da weight ob his Bishop's hat is, wike, compressin' his good sense? Or issit more impawtant for him to ged his face inna noospapers den to respeck sumbunny who he don't agree wif, but who at least was honest an forthright all his life?

You godda wonder, you know? So rite away, den, we gots Stoopit Hoomins in Inkwand, Australia, da YouNited Kingdom, anna YouNited States an den in It'ly.

3.) An heer's da Third Fing dat has me convinced dat hoomins are choosin stoopitity assa Life Goal: Dis Prince Charles an his bondmate, Camilla geddin married. Well, you know, when I found Missy, an made dat hole so I culd go see her alla time, I wassa Happy Bunny. An ebben doh I made a mess ob my habbytat en ebberyfing, an kept Maman an Dadda awake by singin' my Makin' A Hole song fru da nite, nobunny sed ennyfing nasty to me aboudd'it. Dey were happy dat I was happy.

So whuttsamatta wif dis Prince guy bein happy? An why does marryin' his bondmate make him unfit to beda King? An why issit ebberybunnies' biznezz ennyway? Udder Hares toda Thrown hab married "commoners" bifore (I wooked dis up in Maman's buks), an ebben had kids wiff'em dat dey gabe royalty names to (which seems to be how royalty geds made - by bein' aroun'na Kings an soforth) so maybe da ones dat is hollerin' da loudest are da ones who didn't gedda invite to share da Weddin' Nanner wiffa Happy Couple?

I just hate it when I see sumbun who is happy an ebberybunny goes to a lotta trubble to pour a lotta ants on dere picknick (as Maman says). Cos atta end obba story, all you find issa whole lotta envy goin' on - green-eyed monsters inna Noos repawters, tryin' to create trubble where dere is none just so dat ebberybun will buy dere story an make dem munnies. Mebbe when dat Charles guy gets to be King, dere will be sum changes made at dat BBC pwace an den da winders will be opined, an alla doors, anna Troof will be 'lowed to come outside for ebberybun to see.

Now wuldn't dat be sumfing? Just da Troof, wiffoud a dwessup in coloured clothes. Whoa. Now dere's a concept! Insted obba wotta "reality" stuff onna tellybishon, whut if we got to see "da Troof"?

Nahhh. We won't. Nobunny will, not ebber. Cos dere is no munny in axtin stoopit hoomins to form dere own 'pinions. Maman says it takes werk to fink up 'pinions, an sumtimes habbin' 'pinions can make a hoomin unpopular wif udder hoomins.

4.) Wike in Eye-Rak. More stoopit hoomins. Heer are a bunch ob hoomins tryin' to make a noo countree an 'lect a noo Top Bun. Hokay, dis is hard werk - belieb me, I know, cos when Hunny went to da Rainbow Bridge, we hab had trubble findin' OneBun to take ober bein' Top Bun heer. But in Eye-Rak, don't dees Stoopit Hoomins hab to go an habba Neggytib p'rade, complainin aboud how dey don't wike dis an dat? So, wike, if dey culd just ged togedder an 'lect a gobbermint ob sum kind, den alla udder hoomins dey don't wike wuld leeb ennyways.

So da ansur toda pwoblem is not to hold a p'rade wif critical floats an' re-enactmints an stuff, but to say whut dere guy can do dat is good forda countree an ged him 'lected so dey can help in buildin' da pwace back up.

Da ansur to enny pwoblem is not to compwain, but to do sumfing to help. If you don't godda idea aboud how to fix whut is wrong, den siddown an' shaddup an' wet sumbun else habba chance.

Issat so hard? Ushally ebberybun alreddy knows whut da pwoblems are. It's how to fix stuff dat has 'em confoozled. Cos you hab to grow 'Tellygint in order to fix stuff - stoopitity nebber fixed ennyfing.

So, by my count, we seem to hab stoopit hoomins in a wotta pwaces all ober da werld. In fackt, if you wook carefully atta noospapers, it seems wike stoopit hoomins are just aboud da onliest subjekt dat's bein' written aboud.

An' dis is disturbin, cos as ebbery rabbit knows - as ebbery prey annymul knows - bein' stoopid preddy much equals bein' dead inna neer footchur.

So, you know whut? I'd radder be 'Tellygint an werk at habbin 'pinions den be stoopit an den dead. Shure, it's easier to be stoopit; it's easier to be dead, too, but not much fun, an shure not berry useful.

So I'm gonna keep up werkin' on becomin' 'Tellygint, like Belinda told me. Cos choosin Life seems a whole lot bedder den choosin' to be dead.

------------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:56 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 6 April 2005
CommunnyKayShun
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: We Innerrupt Dis DikShunAiry...
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

We innerupt dis DikShunAiry to bring you da followin rant...

Yeah.

Well, you know, yesterday aftanoon we was preddy much mindin our own biznezz inna Bun Room - habbin' sum hay an habbin' naps an' all wike reg'lar bunnies - when Maman comes in an says to Dadda,

"I smell pooties."

Well, as we saw it, dat's No Big Deal. Smellin' is whut you're susposed to do wif pooties, which is why we do them - to let udders know where our individual bounderies happin to be located. Leebin' pooties is like printin' your address onna atmospheric noospaper - ebberybun knows where you lib an dat's preddy much dat.

So Dadda comes innu da Bun Room an hassa sniff an he wooks at Maman an says,

"Yeah."

An Maman goes to da hallway an brings out Mr Broom.

Well dis is No Big Deal eidder, cos she is allus geddin out Mr Broom an sweepin uppa Bun Room. It's Whut She Does. She sweeps up alla loose hay onna floor bifore da Stoopit Cat, Beep, can pik it up an carry it away to Udder Pawts Obba Houz (which is Whut She Does). An' Maman makes a pile ob un-eaten hay, stray pooties, lost pellets an kicked-out litter an den holds opin da Back Door an sweeps ebberyfing outta door - ushually on-toppa da Collie Dawg who happins to be comin' inna door when she is sweepin' stuff out, but dat's His Pwoblem an not Our Warren's.

So Mr Broom comin' out is No Big Deal.

Den Dadda gets da trash bin an Beebe-Bunny sees it furst an he calls out,

"YO!"

But since he's allus callin' out "YO!" nobunny pays him enny attenshun. Yellin' "YO!" is Whut He Does an' da rest ob us are used to it by now.

An den Mouse says,

"Uh oh..."

An we look up, cos Mouse don't ushally say dat.

An dere is Dadda wiffa trash bin.

An he says to Maman, "If we wheel Mouse out innu da middle obba floor, we can pull da bottom out..."

An wike he's sum kinda grocery cart, Dadda gwabs hold ob Mouse's apawtmint an pulls it out frumma wall innu da middle obba floor. An Dadda fiddles aroun' wiffa few clips, and gibs a tug, an da whole bottom ob Mouse's apawtmint pulls out frum unner him!

An dere is Mouse standin onna grate ob his cage, wookin down atta nekkid floor unnerneaf him!

Well, Mouse takes a BIG leap an lands in his pootie-box. At least he has solid ground unner his paws! He laid down dos pooties himself, so he knows dey are safe, but for how long? I mean, we all know dat pooties can pile high, but how long will dey last assa foundayshun fora radder well-built Nedderlands Dwarf Bunny-boy?

So Mouse is inna pootie-box, hangin' on for grim death wif big eyes.

An Maman an Dadda take da bottom ob his apawtmint downna hallway toda bafroom an dere issa sound ob lotsa wadder runnin.

An Missy lifts up her ears an says, "Oh no... hear dat?" an she back up inna hurry innu her pootie-box.

Da sound ob wadder runnin' can do dat to a bunny.

So den Maman an Dadda come back wiffa bottom ob Mouse's apawtmint an afta a wotta buggerin' about (as Hunny wuld say) dey getta bottom shoved back innu pwace.

So Mouse takes a step out ob his pootie-box an heer comes Maman wif Mr Broom!

So Mouse reverses gears an gets his butt back innu da pootie-box while Maman sweeps.

Den dat's done an Dadda wheels Mouse back innu his place.

An Mouse wooks down atta bottom ob his apawtmint an says,

"Dey taked my pooties!"

Well now. Dis is NOT cool. Speshully not when Mouse had gone to so much trubble to assemble such a good collectshun obb'em! I mean, dere was, wike, several days worf ob effort in dere and it was just gone, wike dat! Totally gone! Da whole bottom was bwight, shiney an completely cleen again. Just like noo.

An - ged dis - it didn't smell at all. Not one bit. Not ebbin faintly.

An Missy has her butt plugged firmly innu her pooti-box says to me,

"Tell me he issn't comin ober heer."

An I stood up an hadda wook, an shure enuf, heer comes Dadda toward me wif Maman behind him.

An Maman says, "You know, if we put summa dis stuff out onna garden, it will be good forda flowers if I rake it in."

An Dadda says, "Trubble is, dere is too much obbit. We put out alla dis stuff anna neighbours are gonna complain."

An Maman says, "You fink? We culd waid until Dark."

An Dadda says, "Well, I don't fink ebben Dark is gonna hide alla dis, ebben if we dump it all inna pond atta end obba garden."

And dere standin ober Missy an Me an wookin down. So I'm standin up wike I wanna pet, cos wookin cute ushally works to ged Maman to fortyged whutebber stupitidee she's currently workin on.

Bud not dis time.

Cos Dadda takes hold ob our apawtmint an rolls us out inna middle obba floor obba Bun Room an stawts tryin to pull outta bottom ob OUR apawtmint.

Only he can't.

Cos Missy is plugged innu her pootie-box, an I'm standin up down here by my pootie-box, so dere are two big bunnies atta end obba apawtmint, holdin ebberyfing down.

An Dadda says, "Wookit you two buggers..." An he pokes Missy's tail, but she don't moob. So he reaches in an puts his hand unnerneaf ob me an I kinda hop up an bounce down, which gibs me some spring offa da floor obba apawtmint, so I hop again, which gibs Missy a bounce an she comes unplugged frum her pootie-box an goes bouncin down da apawtmint, which gibs da floor some more spring...an preddy soon, we're bouncin UpAnDown cos we can't help ourselbs, onna'count obba floor bouncin wif us wike beans bouncin onna griddle.

An dere's Dadda, tryin to gwab hold obba bottom ob our apawtmint while we're bouncin wike beans an can't help ourselbes.

An rite aboud dat time, da whole bottom comes unstuck frum it's rails an sorta dwops all-at-once.

Well, Dadda catches it as it's goin' down, as Maman tries to gedda'hold obba'udder end, howebber, her shoulder don't werk too good, so ob course, she dwops her end ob fings an dere is hay an most ob our Winter coats all ober.

But Dadda managed to gwab hold obba main pawt which had most obba pooties.

So he said some werds inna speshul language he knows called "Anglo-Saxon" dat we Bunnies aren't susposed to know. Hunny knowed it, bud he sed I was too young to learn it. Da onliest werd I unnerstand innit issa werd, "bugger", which seems to appear quite a lot, so it must be an impawtant werd to be used so much.

So ennyways, I habba wook down an you know whut? All I saw unnerneaf ob my paws was FLOOR!

Dat was it! Da onliest fing between Missy an me fallin twoo foots to our deaths was dis bouncy floor ob our apawtmint. Who knew? I mean, dat all dat stood between us an disaster wassa bouncy sheet ob screen cobbered wif seagrass mats anna plastic slidy bottom!? No wonder Mouse had jumped innu his pootie-box when dey pulled his bottom out frum unner him!

Well, I tried gettin innu da pootie-box, too, but da ones dat we hab only accommie-date half-a-bunny ob my gen'ral size an shape. Missy an me aren't widdle Nedderland Dwarfs. Nope! We're wike large, ekonomy-sized rabbits ob gen'rous proporshuns! So when I got innu da pootie-box, I discobbered dat only da frunt pawt ob George fit - da whole back-end was hanging out. So I turned aroun an fit da back end in, but den da frunt end was hangin' out - so no madder how close togedder I put my feets, it didn't werk - dere was too much George an nod enuf pootie-box.

So I wooked ober at Missy an she was habbin da same trubble as me, only more obbit, cos she issa bigger bunny-gurl den me.

So.

Den Maman an Dadda comed back wif our bottom an Dadda stawts to slide it back in...

An it won't go.

An Dadda says to Maman, "It won't fit."

An Maman wooks unnerneaf an axts, "Howcome?"

An Dadda says fru his teefs, "Cos we hab two lard-butt rabbits warping the whole bottom of the habitat. Look at that! See if you can get Missy up to your end and I'll keep George down here."

So Dadda pokes Missy inna butt an she stawts bouncin again. Well, don'cha know dat when Missy stawts bouncin again, dat bounces me, too. So she's bouncin UpAnDown, headin towards Maman, an here I go, rite along wif her!

An Dadda's yellin, "George! George! Dis Way!"

An I'm yellin bak at him, "Lookit, Stoopit, I'm doin' my best heer..." while I'm bouncin UpAnDown nextest to Missy.

An Missy lets outta wail ob, "I don't wike dis!" an WHAM she wets go wiffa extry hard *thump* that sends me aboud sebben inches up inna air.

So while I'm airborne, Dadda gibs da bottom a good, hard shove, anna fing slams innu pwace unner'neaf ob us - so dat when I come down, I can see da floor disappearin' anna bottom come back.

So dat was reassurin'.

An' now our apawtmint don't smell ob nuthin ennymore, just wike Mouse's.

Home Sweet Generic Home.

An den it's Clover an Beeb's turn.

Well, Beeb issa slob an Clover issa Ms Marfa Stewart obba Bunny Werld. Only Clover is honest and don't do enny Insider Trading an she's notta Fashunnazi or ennyfing wike dat. Hokay, so she's not Marfa Stewart, but she issa berry clean an organised bunny. In fact, Maman has nebber seed a bunny who keeps a houz wike Clover does.

Clover carries alla uneaten hay toda frunt obba apawtmint so Maman can sweep it out ebbery mornin. An Clover will push a dirty pooty-box toda frunt obba'pawtimint for Maman to clean, too. An Clover don't wike to hab toys in her wadder crock an will pike dem out if Beeb frows dem in. An Clover is berry, berry neat about allus usin' her litter-box. She nebber hassa akydent, whereas Beebe is just one mobile akydent dat keeps on happinin ober an ober.

So, it's wike Beeb will pootie an pee ebberywheres except inna pootie-box.

He calls dis "freedon frum tyranny" but Clover says it's just laziness an whumps his butt ebbery now an'den.

But he's deboted to her, an keeps her nicely groomed and lubly, so dat's good.

So Maman an Dadda wheeled dem out innu da middle obba floor an pulled dere bottom out frum unner dem.

Well, by dis time, as Clover sed, she had time to see whut eggakly was goin' on, so she wasn't too boddered aboud'it. But she is anudder BIG bunny gurl an she was parked atta end obba apawtmint, so Dadda poked her inna butt, too, just wike he poked Missy.

An Clover took a big hop anna floor bounced.

Well, Beebe issa WOT smaller den I am. He's whut you call a Hot-tot, which issa speshul kind ob sort ob Nedderlands Dwarfie-shaped bunny wif black ear-tips an black eye-liner onna primarily white bunny. In udder werds, he don't weigh more den four pounds soakin wet - which is aboud half ob whut Clover weighs. So, ob course, when she bounced down onna floor, he bounced up aboud twice as high. I mean, he rilly got some altytood goin'. Like, if he'd put his ears up, he culdda touched da top ob his apawtmint an Clover can only do dat if she stretches up on her hind-wegs on tippy-toe.

So when Clover gave dat hop, Beebe was off wike a rockit.

An "YO!" was wike aboud half ob whut he yelled onna way up. Da rest don't translate outta Lagomorphin. Anna good fing, too.

So afta awhile, dere bottom comed back an it had no smell at all.

So heer's my rant:

Bunnies go to a wotta trubble markin out dere terrytorry an makin it dere own. So howcome issit dat we are not 'loud to keep fings in our homes da way dat we want dem?

I mean, heer we are inna Noo Bun Room. We gots noo apawtmints, clean bottoms, clean pootie pans, clean crocks, clean wadder - clean ebberyfing - an we hab to stawt ALL OBER AGAIN, geddin fings back to da way we want'em. An whut happins nextest? Maman, Dadda an Mr Broom will be back. It's happined bifore an it will happin again.

How on Earf can you tell dat sumfing is yours if it don't smell wike you? I mean, dis has gotta stop. Clean is a good fing, I realise, but dis is goin' ober da top.

Rilly.

------- by George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:41 AM EDT
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