George's 4th Strand (2007); Day Number 15
Now Playing: Da Catastrophe Curve
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises
Oh dear! Fings hab gotten entirely outta paw around heer at Our Warren!
For starters, BOF Maman and Our Dadda are sik.
And dat's why we're heer operating just onna bare fringes atta thin edge obba Catastrophe Curve.
Which issa very skerry place to be if you don't know whut you're doing. But Fankfully, Alla Us Togedder are preddy used to da Catastrophe Curve and know how to ride wun, but it's NO place for ammytures, lemme tell you!
Hab you ebber herd obba Catastrophe Curve? It's a phenomenon in Physicks where alla ellymints for disaster builds up, inna huge wave-like curve; where alla possybul fings dat could go wrong all begin to add up innu dis huge, heaving wave - just like a wave onna ocean - and just out aheadd ob dat wave, where ebberyfing dat could possibly go wrong, sumhow, just doesn't. And dat, right dere just ahead ob dat wave, dat's where Our Warren operates - just ahead ob where da Catastrophe Curve crashes out onna graph.
It's wike dis:
Maman gets sik. She's gotta bad fever, and her head is all goofed up, and she is busy staggaring back and forf frumma Sitting Room toda Bafroom toda Bedroom. Anna Dawg is busy herding Concerned Catz away frum her. So she sorta finds herself inna Bafroom, head down ober da toilet fing, wif da Dawg on one side ob her saying,
"You got Catz nextest to you!"
And onna udderside, she hassa Concerned Cat-face staring at her saying,
"Why are you frowing alla dat stuff downna toilet?"
And ebberywhere she goes, dere issa parade of furry four-foots travelling in her wake - da Catz being converned dat dey will miss sumfing anna Dawg doing his best to herd dem sumwheres, anywheres onna'count obba Fakt it's his Job.
So Maman comes out innu da BunRoom and axts us,
"Whut are You Buggers wookin' at?"
And we're wike, "Since you're by da Frigerator, we'll hab a widdle sumfing. Fanks."
And because she is sik, and not "firing on all eight sillenders" (as she says), she gibs us all carrots, which is preddy good.
So den, she stumbles out innu da Kitchen and says, "Dadda is sik."
And we're like, "Uh oh."
And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat wooks around and says, "I will go and sit wif him."
And heer is where da Catastrophe Curve begins to come innu play.
Cokie-da-Fat-Cat goes off towards da Bedroom, and right away, Beep-da-Udder-Cat is wike,
"Oh no you don't! If ennybun is gonna sit wif Dadda onna bed, it is going to be Me!"
Anna Dawg is wike, "Hey! No Catz inna Bedroom!"
And Cokie is wike, "So who made up 'dat' Rool, Dawg?"
Anna Dawg is wike, "Maman and Dadda BOF sed, 'No Catz onna bed.' Which is why you guys hab to sleep Uppystairs inna 'Partmint at nite and not down heer wif da Bunnies and me."
And Cokie sorta flipped his tail atta Dawg and kept on shambling downna Hallway and turned innu da Bedroom.
Well, da Dawg didn't like being flipped off byda Cat, so he jumped ober da Cat inna doorway, and cut him off just as Cokie was about to jump up onna bed where Dadda was sleeping. Sort ob.
Because Dadda was awake enough to wook down atta Dawg and Cokie, and Beep-da-Udder-Cat (who had managed to ged innu da doorway) and say, "The lot of you can piss off."
And frumma Kitchen where she was trying hard to concentrate (onna'count obba Fakt dat her brain wasn't werking right because she was still sik) on making Dadda a cup ob tea, Maman calls innu Dadda,
"Is sumfing wrong, dear?"
And Dadda calls back, "Dere is nuffing wrong, sweedhart. Just the Catz anna Dawg."
So Maman, finking she wuld be helpful, calls da Dawg.
Soda Dawg doesn't know whut to do. He's busy doing Wun Job, which is herding Cats Outta da Bedroom, where dey Might be Planning to Ged Onna Bed - and now Maman is calling him, which is anudder ob his Jobs - answering her.
So he comes zooming out innu da Kitchen to see whut's up wif her.
And, ob course, as soon assa Dawg is outta da Bedroom, in go da Catz.
Anna Dawg hears dem, so he makes a flying dash to get outta da Kitchen, but he's right by Maman, who doesn't see him, and they sort ob collide atta rubbish bin.
And Alla Is Togedder are looking in frumma BunRoom, and so we're watching as Maman anna Dawg go staggering around da Kitchin, wiffa Dawg's toenails wooking for purchase onna linnollyum, and Maman wooking for balance onna'count obba Fakt dat she doesn't hab enny ob her own.
So Maman yells, "Darn Dawg!"
And Dadda sort ob wakes up and calls out, "Whuttsamatta, sweedhart?"
Which is when he notices dat he hassa Cat on his hed.
And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is purring, "I'm sitting wif you because you are sik."
And Dadda yells, "Dere's a Cat on me!"
And Cokie is sorta wike wrapped around Dadda's hed wif his claws not hextactly out, but sort of gently grasping, wike his claws *could* come out and rilly hang on tight, if he wanted them to. And he's purring like a motorboat, telling Dadda how lucky he is, because Cokie *could* be lying ennywheres onna whole bed, but he has chosen to lie on Dadda's pillow, as close to Dadda assa loving cat can get.
And alla sudden, Maman anna Dawg get untangled inna Kitchen, anna Dawg is pounding fru da Dining Room onna way towards da Bedroom, ears flapping, worried Collie-face on, growling, "I'm coming to save you, Dadda!"
And at That Moment, we hear Dadda yell, "Gerroffa me before I make you into two tennis rackets and a pair of furry slippers!"
And dere issa sound ob 40 pounds ob Screaming Airborne Cat.
And as Cokie hits da floor, da Dawg is dere is to meet him.
So Beep-da-Udder-Cat shoots outta Bedroom and makes a hard right-hand turn innu da Sitting Room. Cokie shoots outta da Bedroom and makes a hard left, heading for da Dining Room. Da Dawg comes flying out last, hesitates inna doorway onna'count obba Fakt he has to make decision about which direction to head, and dat's where Dadda runs innu his furry back-side.
And Dadda yells, "One way or da udder! Darned Dawg!"
And Maman is coming downna Hallway wif wunna does big cups of tea for Dadda, and she's watching da tea she's carrying, and NOT watching where she is going.
So just-in-time, Dadda grabs da cuppa tea, da Dawg zooms past Maman, scrabbles onnna Dining Room rug to make the hard left-hand turn innu da Living Room and you can hear him and Cokie-da-Fat-Cat thundering their way Uppystairs.
And then there is silence.
And Maman comes back innu da Kitchin wif Dadda following her and she's kinda unsteady wif her walking, and holding on to fings wike tables anna walls and stuff. And she and Dadda come out innu BunRoom and they sort ob pause and wook at Alla Us Togedder.
And Dadda says, "Whut are You Buggers looking at?"
And we're wike, "Well, since you axted, a carrot wouldn't go amiss..."
And dat's da Catastrophe Curve. And we're still just out heer ahead obbit.
------------------------------------- By George .
Posted by Our Warren
at 6:43 PM EDT