Marc-the-Border-Collie and Cokie-da-Fat-Cat have been involved in sumfing Maman calls a "bug-tussel" over who gets to sleep nextest to Dadda's side obba bed at nite.
This all began when Phil left before Fanksgibbin' to go live with his Aunt Terry in Callyfornia - so it's been going on for Quite Awhile Now, and as of Lastest Nite, it showed no signs of stopping - Until - ~ SURPRISE! ~ which actchually happined to occur Lastest Nite!
And I won't tell you the ~ SURPRISE ~ just yet, or you won't be Surprised when I get to that part.
You see, the whole Fing got started onna'count obba Fakt Marc, the Border Collie, believes that he is Sekond-in-Command to Dadda inna Warren. It's a Dawg-fing, because Border Collies have-to-have Rools, and these are the Rools as Marc finks they exsist: Dadda issa Alpha Male and Marc is Dadda's designated Second-in-Command, and ev'rybunny else is not-in-charge-of-ennyfing, end-of-story.
But atta same time, Cokie finks that he issa TopCat inna Warren and this means that he Out-Ranks the Dawg on All Counts - and he, as TopCat, should get to sleep nextest to Dadda inna Most Important Sleeping Spot at nite.
About the onliest fing on which they agree is that Whomever is the Nextest Most Important Male Inna Whole Houz - Afta Dadda - gets to Occupy the Bed onna floor Nextest to Dadda inna Bedroom.
And That Bed has been Marc's bed frum, like, Forebber, but Marc is getting old, and he hadda slight "stroke" (Maman calls it) and he doesn't see as well as he did and he's having a few trubbles getting around. So Cokie-the-Fat Cat has been watching alla this and he's trying to sneak innu Maman and Dadda's bed at nite, so he can sleep Nextest to Dadda IN THE Hoomin BED! Which hasn't been going so well, since ev'ry time he jumps onna Hoomin Bed, he keeps landing on either Dadda's back or Maman's head and waking them up. Then no matter how much he purrs and turn on his Cute, he's Pretty Sure to come flying outta the Bedroom with all four paws offa ground.
And, of course, this makes Marc-the-Border-Collie Laugh.
Onna'count obba Fakt air-born cats purrin' overhead inna nite-time are actchually preddy amusing. Unless you are da Cat.
So during the day, Marc goes outta his way to play "Annoy the Cat" and udder inner'estin' Games Of Opportunity - like, "Wassat Your Tail?", "Oh! I Didn't Realise That Tidbit Was For You!" and, of course, the ever-popular, "Gee, I Didn't See You!" (better-known as "Get Up, Get Up! I Thought You Wassa Rug!").
Bunnies don't werry about this stuff. We all know this is Our Warren, and I'm TopBunny. It's been this way for awhile and as I'm only six, and not going ennywheres, that's the Way It Is. I mean, who gets fed furst? Bunnies get Salads before ennybunny. Who has fluffy towels changed ev'ry day? Bunnies. Who has their ownliest habbytats in their ownliest room? Alla Us Togedder. Who has their ownliest blog onna Innernet where they type their Very Own 'Pinions and Observations? 'Nuff said.
So Lastest Nite the Dawg was out inna Living Room, On Guard, anna Cokie-Cat was unner the table glaring inna Dining Room, and Maman was inna 'puter room, talking to Aunt Terry in California, when the Frunt Door opins and in walks Dadda and PHIL!
Phil came home to visit Maman for her Birthday!
And wow! Was Maman ~ SURPRISED ~ !
So Lastest Nite, the Cokie-cat was rilly mad. Onna'count obba Fakt that ev'ry fing has gone Back to How It Was Before Phil Left! Dadda is still the Alpha Male inna Houz, but now Phil is back and the Furstest Fing he did was he picked up Cokie and set him down on his butt so they could sing the "Kitty-Cat Song" togedder, where Phil helps Cokie to clap his paws togedder and sing, "I'mma kitty-cat! And I dance-dance-dance and I dance-dance-dance!" - which onna Cat-Diggity Scale of 1-to-10 rates in Negative Numbers.
And of course Maman is still too surprised and teary-eyed to bother defending Cokie at all, so he just slinked right UNNERNEAF the Dining Room table where he ccould sit onna paperbag, glare out atta Dawg and sulk. Anna Dawg has instantly regained his whole position assa Number Two Second-in-Command - He has alla his Legitimate Collie-Jobs back, and he's got alla his "Rools" and, best of all, he doesn't have to sit around doing Stoopit Cat-Dances.
And when ev'rybunny went to bed, the Dawg had back his automatic position onna bed onna floor right beside Dadda inna Bedroom - while Cokie had his paperbag unnerneaf the Dining Room table.
So you can see how big "that" went over! And then, just to make fings slightly worst, Phil went uppystairs to his room where his Whole Gang of Five was thundering back and forth all night so that "sleep" remained more of a concept lastest nite than enny kind of reality.
Hextcept for us bunnies. Phil gave us extry pets and we got extry treats lastest nite. And since We are atta udder end obba Houz, we got plenty of sleep, got up at our usual time and are doin' fine, fanks! As Missy said to me right as Marc was enforcing the No Cats Inna Bun Room Rool (with a liddle more enthusiasm than Cokie was prepared to accept but less than Maman was prepared to scold him for) - Missy turned to me and said, "Well, ev'ryfing is back to normal! Phil's home and it's just like he said - It's all fun-and-games 'til sumbunny gets hurt." That's when we heard the crash inna Kitchin anna Cat began swearing atta Dawg.
And Missy chuckled. "And then, whoa! It's downright hilarious!"
------------------ By George