George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 26
Now Playing: Signs of Spring
You know, a couplela years ago, Missy and I used to have Birdie-Clocks inna SpringTime.
It's how we would wake up inna Morning Just Bifore Dawn.
Not to the lyrical "Morning Chorus" that you hear about, but to the Noo Joisey Morning Squwalk - which issa whole lotta birdies circling over the Back Gardin arguing over If they were gonna land, and if so, Who was gonna be Furst, and hextactly Where, and What they were gonna Eat when they got there.
And Being Noo Joisey birdies (which are starlings, and finches and Robins and mockingbirdies and such) this required a Whole Lotta Squwalk and most of it was *LOUD*.
Then *that* was replaced by a whole bunch of crows that usta fly in for the Morning Caw.
And that was pretty impressive, lemme tell you!
You haven't heard ennyfing until you've heard a bunch of Noo Joisey Crows flying In Formation do a Morning Caw.
We're talking "Shadows Over The Gardin" here, and you could have played sum of that Wagnerian-spookie musics inna background and got a pretty good moovie outta it, too, onna'count obba Fakt that these crows were big enough to make Alla Us Togedder stick to Our Habbytats and not poke our noses up much.
As Mouse said, "There is no point in beminding them We Are Heer."
But we had Da Dawg, (even if he didn't get the Idea that crows can be dangerous to bunnies) and he coundn't be habbin' wif crows landing in his Back Gardin! Especially as they didn't seem to want to Herd.
Every day for a couplela days now, We've been singing our Bim Song: "The Spring is Sprung, The grass is riz... I wonder where the birdies is?" - onna'count obba Fakt that it is getting warmer and alla that Spring-like Stuff, only...
There are mostly not many birdies inna Back Gardin.
Maman said that it is Too Early for the Birdie Bath to go out innu Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Rose & Herb Gardin, onna'count obba Fakt that it is still getting Below Freezing at Night.
So, Yestiday, Our Neighbour Don-Nextest-Door and Reg-His-Wife were outside diggin' in their Gardin and Maman got all upset at Dadda. She was standing inna BunRoom afta letting Da Dawg go out OnPatrol and she called innu Dadda,
And Dadda, who was inna Dining Room, doing sumfing with Tea, called back to her, "Whut?"
And Maman was, like, "Loookit that! Reg is getting her Gardin ready!"
And Dadda came innu the BunRoom and stood nextest to Maman, looked outta Our Warren's Memorial Window and said, "Ummhmm. So she is.She and Don always have a such beautiful Gardin. Puts Our Gardin to shame"
And Maman like, looked outta the Our Warren Memorial Window with him and she said, "Lookit Hunny's Gardin."
And Dadda said, "Yes, and whut am I looking at?"
And Maman said, "Nothing."
And Dadda said, "Whuddya'mean 'nothing'?"
And Maman said, "That's the point: nothing. We're looking at nothing."
And Dadda said, "It's Our Gardin."
And Maman axt him, "So whut's it doing?"
And Dadda said, "Noth..." and then looked at her with "The Look".
And Dadda just looked at her for a minit, and Missy, who was sitting beside me, rolled her eyes and said to me, "Why does he allus just walk right innu it like that?"
And I said, "Like whut?"
And Maman looked at Dadda and said, "Exactly!" and nodded.
And Missy looked at me, nodded, and said, "Bingo!"
And Dadda and I were, like, "Whut?"
And Maman said to Dadda, "Nothing is Whut You See going on in Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Rose and Herb Gardin while everything is Whut's Going On nextest-door."
And I thought to myself, "Good one, George. Missy and Maman are usually onna same mental pathways, and you and Dadda, aren't. This is Why Gurls Circle the Room - laying traps - and Guys Sit Onna Foo-ton-of-Life, trying to stay outta the way."
Maman got Dadda to moove Mr Mouse's habbytat and opin uppa Door toda ScreenPorch so that alla cold Spring air came rushing innu the BunRoom. And Dadda went out on to the ScreenProch and hadda look at alla the planters where there were plants Last Year.
And then It Started Up: The Discussion on Planting.
This happins EVERY YEAR!
Every year, Dadda goes to have a Look Atta Dirt.
Every Year, Maman takes out alla Packet Of Seeds.
Every year, Dadda begins planning to dig up new places inna Back Gardin.
Every year, Maman starts making a list of rose-bushes she wants.
And EVERY YEAR, sumfing goes WRONG with the WHOLE ENTERPRISE!
Last year, we got leggy parsley, anna whole boatload of Williamsburg Heritage Mint. Which was hokay if you hadda Fing for mint.
And Then Missy discovered tomatoes. Which is hokay, too, but you gotta bemember that Whut Goes In Wun End obba Bunny, comes out, Wun Way or An'udder frumma Udder End obba Bunny! Which means that MissyBun managed to accidentally pass a few Santa Grape Tomato Seeds frum Wun End ob her to Our Pootie pan and frum there, Dadda took the pootie-pan and dumped it onna Gardin.
Well, a tomato vine took over the Whole Belinda and Hawthorn Memorial Corner obba Memorial Herb and Rose Gardin!
We're talking Wun Seed, and Nine Feets of vine heer.
That's a lotta liddle tomatoes.
So ennyways, Dadda sent Phil off to the grocery store to buy a box of tomatoes. So now EVERY NIGHT, don't you know, that we getting WUN STINKING Tomato in with Our Romaine Cups!
And I HATE tomatoes!
I mean, I have been heaving them off to the back obba habbytat for aboutta'week now and they are STILL coming. Lastest night, Dadda even apologised to me.
He said, "I'm sorry about this, George." as he put Our Salad down for Missy and me.
And sure enough, a big, fat tomato rolled offa Romaine Leaf and stopped Right In Frunt Of Me. So I flicked it with my nose, and it rolled sorta uppa couplela strands of hay and came right back at me.
So I, like, looked up at Dadda and he looked at me, reached down and flicked the tomato off towards Missy. And he said, "I know you don't like them, but I need Bug-A-Lugs there to start a few seeds in your pootie box. Everybun has to Werk For a Living around here."
And I'm finking, "Lookit, I do my Cute. I sit with Maman. I do alla Top-Bunning. What More Do You Want?"
And Dadda said, "I need Missy to start sum seeds."
And Missy like, sat there, looking atta tomato with that kinda fixed stare that she gets, and then she looked up at Dadda and you could see the "Whaaa!" Look just getting started on her face.
And Dadda said, "Yes, you, Missus. Everybun has to werk around here. And Whut I Need YOU to do is to eat. Which frumma size of you, you seem to do pretty reguarly ennyway, so it won't be A Problem."
So Missy glared and shoved the tomato with her nose back towards me.
And I shoved it back to her - because if there's Wun Fing I HATE, it's tomatoes!
Anna tomato rolled to a stop nestest to Missy.
And Missy was, like, "I don't want it."
And Dadda was like, "Lookit, Miss-Miss you LOVED tomatoes last year! You couldn't cram enough of them innu your gob. Whut's the matter with this wun?"
And he reached innu Our Habbytat and flicked the tomato unner Missy's chin.
And Missy was, like, "That was last year, buster."
So Dadda glared and went off to bother Mr Mouse, who didn't want enny parts of enny tomatoes, even though Dadda was trying to be Pursusasive about them.
Furst Mouse grunted. Then he boxed. Then he lunged and *rilly* grunted a lot and ran around inna circle and climbed up innu his pootie box and sat there, grumbling away to himself - which is a sure sign that Sumbunny is gonna get hurt if they keep shoving tomatoes innu his face.
So Dadda went over to Dusty.
Well, Dusty had been running back-and-forth yelling, "PetTheBunny! PetTheBunny! PetTheBunny!" ever since Dadda had mooved over to try and give a tomato to Mouse.
So Dadda dropped a Grape Tomato innu Dusty's Pellet Crock and said,
"In your bowl, Dusty!"
Which issa same fing that Maman tells Dusty when she drops a Baby Organic Carrot or sum udder Treat for him. She calls this "training" but Whut It *Rilly* Is, is that Dusty won't eat ennyfing unless he accidentally "finds" it in his bowl. He's actually a very neat little bunny-boy that way. Like all miniLops, he adores Food and Treats, but he's so helpless that his Hoomins have to be trained to put them where he can get them easily, onna'count obba Fakt, he can't see past his nose to find a Fing.
I never said Dusty was "Smart" - just neat, as in "tidy". In most udder respects, he couldn't find his backside wif both paws anna roadmap.
So Dusty went over and hadda look innu his crock and then looked at Dadda and he was like, "Whut?"
And Dadda said, "There's a tomato, Dusty!" Like it was sumfing good.
And Dusty was still, like, "Huh?"
So Dadda said, "In your bowl. A tomato!"
And Dusty was, like, "PetTheBunny?"
And Dadda said, "Eat it, you stoopit Rabbit."
And Dusty blinked, looked in his crock atta tomato and then looked up at Dadda and was like, "PetTheBunny?"
And Dadda was, like, "NO Pet-the-bunny! Eat-the-tomato!"
And Dusty was like, "Pet-the-bunny!"
And Dadda started yelling, "Eat-the-tomato!"
While Dusty was running back-and-forth and yelling, "Pet-the-bunny! PetTheBunny!"
So you know where *that* ended up...
And Foxie, who is such a little suck-up, of course, she ate a Whole Tomato.
So Missy finally ate the wun, stinking tomato that was in Our Habbytat, just to get it out of there.
And now, we're getting Wun Grape Tomato with Every Salad, like it's Sum Big Deal, and suddinly, Dadda is grabbing Our Pooty-boxes right out frum unner our butts and running them Out Innu the Back Gardin, almost bifore we're done with them, if you know Whut I Mean.
So you know where *that* is going, too - Which all means that Spring is pretty well Sprung heer at Our Warren.
But there still are very few birdies awake inna mornings. No "Morning Chorus" and no "Morning Caw" to wake Alla Us Togedder just bifre Dawn.
And I just read a noospaper artykul inna Daily Telegraph Online that there are 20% fewer Gardin songbirdies inna UK this season. You can read it, too, by clicking here.
So I don't know Whut's Going On, but I can tell you that Whutebber It is, It's Going On...
------------------------------------ By George!
Posted by Our Warren
at 12:51 PM EDT