Now Playing: Beep is Nine!
A coupla days ago, it was Our Birfday. We hadda pretty nice day - Playtime onna Screen Porch, double Salads, a coupla Cheerios each, and Mr Mouse got to see N.C.I.S. onna'count obba Fakt "Law and Order" wasn't on and they were habbin' an "N.C.I.S." marrython. He said there was no harecraft-carriers in it, but still, the show was preddy good, although not As Good as watching his favourite, Jack McCoy try cases. But that Gibbs-guy is preddy cool, too.
Later on inna Nite, there were a lotta whut Maman calls "firewerks" going on over atta school acrosst the Back Gardin, and Missy and I thought it wassa thunderstorm and Maman almost hadda come and pull Our Curtains over the winder onna'count obba Fakt I was trying to hide unner'neaf of Missy's Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, but they didn't last long (Maman says the Township rilly can't afford to have "'Lab'rit Firewerks", but that Mayor Jack Ball does Pretty Darn Well wif Whut He Gets.), so it was All-In-All, we hadda Preddy All Right Birfday.
Da Dawg gotta lotta MilkBone Dawg Cookies. He is fourteen now. Maman 'dopted him frum Rawhide Rescue in Northern New Jersey back in 2000. He had been the victim inna divorce. I'm sure you know a story like his - the Father doesn't want him, but the wife and kiddies are forced to live inna 'partmint and can't have him. So da poor Dawg is suddinly homeless and it is Not His Fault! But Marc the Border Collie hadda Happy Ending to his story onna'count obba Fakt he found a Forever Home in Our Warren. And onna 4th of July, he turned fourteen years old.
And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat turned ten. Dadda sys he issa "Ancient, Auld Moggie". Of course Cokie complained about everything onna'count obba Fakt it's Whut He Does. He came to live heer onna'count obba Fakt Sistah Beffy 'dopted him assa Cute Kitten. He was all brownish-coloured then, which is not the right colour for a Maine Coon cat, which is how he was given to a cat-rescue inna Furst Place. Then Beffy 'dopted him. But he costed too much munny to feed, so she brough him over to Maman's and left him with her.
And at that time, Maman and Phil alreddy had KayCee Kitty, and she was two-years old then, so onna 4th of July, she turned twelve years old. Phil 'dopted her frumma Kitty-Rescue. When he went inna Navy he hadda make out sumfing called a "will" in case he got himself killed or sumfing. Anna JAG officer axted him, "Who do you wanna leave alla your munny to?" and Phil said, "KayCee." Anna JAG officer who was filling inna form said, "'KayCee', who?" and Phil said, "KayCee Kitty." Anna JAG officer said, "You're leaving your munny to your cat?" and Phil said, "You axted me who was the closest person to me in the werld, and I'm telling you, my cat, KayCee." Anna Jag officer looked at him and said, "Lookit, son, how about your mother or a human being? I can't make out a will for your cat!" and Phil said, "Hokay, my mother gets custody of KayCee. But if you buggers get me killed, KayCee still gets my life insurance policy."
So that's whut Phil thinks of KayCee, who still pees on his pillow when he does sumfing that 'nnoys her and does fings like go to sleep inna crotch of his trousers, or draped over the top of his computer-screen. She lives in his 'Partmint with him and has The Chowder ob Five of her Very Ownliest now. Which is how things should be, if you axted me.
And Beep-the-Udder-Cat was nine years old onna 4th of July. She also once lived with Beffy, but when Beffy mooved outta This Houz, she said to Maman, "Eidder you take 'Gidget' (that was Beep's name, then) or she goes to a shelter. I'm not taking her."
And to Maman, that was NO CHOICE, because Maman believes that when you 'dopt any companion animal, it is for LIFE, not just while it is expedient for you.
And Maman was 'sepcially angry because the whole "mooving out" incident was over some worthless bastard named was "d'wayne" - Maman had alreddy thrown him out of wun houz and now she was having to throw him out of another.
And because she was trying to hurt everyone she could for the sake of this this lying, cheating, sub-intelligent bit of human excrement, Beffy threw away her dog, Cody, to God-knows-who and abandoned Beep. Which shows you how much she "cared" about them: dump the fur-children who have done no wrong for a proven liar and free-loader who eventually lies and cheats on her. And now Beffy blames Maman for "getting rid of my dog, Cody." It wasn't Maman. It was Beffy. Her choice. Her responsibility. Her failure. She threw away Cody to dog-fighting and walked away from Beep.
Whut Hoomins never seem to learn is that It's not a guilt-free Rainbow Bright Werld out there. No matter whut lies they make up to tell themselves to feel better about the crimes they commit against animals, the Truth burns like a flaming bag of dog-turd on their own doorstep. And they can try to dress the story up any way they like, but the Truth of it is, it's still humiliating to look at the bottoms of their own shoes in the morning. They have stepped in it and now they have to own it - because The Stink of what-they-have-done will linger, and it can't be spread around or wiped off on someone else!
There was no "wonderful family" for poor Cody-dawg. A "wonderful family" would have wanted her veterinary and spay records and breed registation papers that Maman offered to give - but dog-fighters don't care. Small dogs are disposable. Cody was disposable. There was a choice, but Cody didn't get to make it, nor did Beep. The choice was made FOR them, without their interests being considered. The bag of human crap was valued above the fur-children. It was that simple. It was never Maman's choice, because had it been, "d'wayne" would have been consigned to the human site of toxic waste-memory a lot earlier than he was. Believe me, there are disease-causing bacteria that have more intrinsic value than "d'wayne" could hope to achieve.
Don't even try to raise the lie that Maman was to blame. Beep knows that she is nine years old and she is part of Our Warren because Maman wouldn't see her returned to a shelter. Maman wanted to believe in the "wonderful family" for Cody, even though she knew it wasn't true. She wanted to believe because Our Warren was strained to it's limits to accept another member in Beep, and because her Mother was dying, and because responsibility for everything suddenly rested on her. She couldn't stand not to believe.
And so now Beep is nine years old.
But as she says, it is in a way, a sad annyversary. She is glad that she hassa Forever Home, but she wishes she had never heard it said out loud how she wasn't wanted. She bemembers too well the long few minits when she held her breath when she heard that her life in This Houz hung on Maman's saying, "Yes, I'll take her." or "No, I can't."
And This Houz was all that Beep knew. It is still All Beep Knows. She knows that Cody-dawg is gone and that Marc stayed - because Maman made a promise to Marc when she 'dopted him, that he had found his Forever Home with her, and he would never be homeless again. Maman keeps her promises.
And Beep also knows, at the age of nine, that Marc, at the age of fourteen, is an Idiot, and will remain an Idiot onna'count obba Fakt, it's All He Knows. And Beep is willing to accept that she is Part of Marc's Herd, onna'count obba Fakt he issa Herding Dawg who needs a Herd, and she is It. Cokie won't Herd and Bunnies don't, so that leaves Beep to make up the Dawg's Herd on her Ownliest. And she's perfekt'ly willing to be da Herd if that's Whut It Takes to be in Our Warren.
And so that's Whut We're Doing tiday. Cokie is sitting onna FooTon in Maman's Study, complaining about Life, and we bunnies are having Our Naps in Our Habbytats. Marc is asleep with his nose pointed towards Beep - who is asleep, being The Herd of Our Warren onna back obba FooTon in Dadda's Office heer at Our Warren...