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Saturday, 29 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 29
Now Playing: KayCee Stuck Onna Screen!

This morning, a birdie landed onna sill, just outside the window of Dadda's Office.

So, of course, Beep-da-Udder-Cat, who was lying along the back obba Foo-Ton, saw it and sumfing inside of her kitty-head *clicked* and set her to finking that instead of being a fat, fuzzy, smiling, furry-purry, she was a lean, mean, stalking, wild-fing kitty-machine.

And Dadda called out to Maman, "Hey, come lookit my birdie."

So Maman left me sitting onna Foo-ton in her Study and Missy serriously checking the edges obba Study floor for vines and rocks, and went to see Whut Dadda Wanted.

And, sure enough, there wassa birdie sitting onna window sill, cheeping away, and there was Beep, balanced onna top obba Foo-ton, with her ears pricked forwards like tiny radars and her tail trembling back-and-forth, trying to keep her bowling-ball-sized rear-end frum rolling Wun Way-Or-da-Udder.

And Maman was like, "Whut does Beep think she's doing?"

And Dadda was like, "She thinks she's hunting. Like KayCee."

And they both started laughing, and Maman came back innu her Study and sat down at her desk.

Now I know that NoBunny laughs at Empress KayCee Kitty. She issa Queen Cat who lives with Phil. He rescued her when he was twelve years old, and she was the Furst Cat to ever live in Our Warren - bifore Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, and bifore Beep-da-Udder-Cat. She is *So Impawtant*, in fact, that when Phil went innu The Navy, they axted him "Who is your Next Ob Kin?" and he replied, "KayCee." and that's Whut They Wrote on the 'Fishul Navy Documents. Cokie-da-Fat-Cat admits that KayCee taught him everyfing he knows, and he admits that she wassa Queen Cat in his Chowder, and everybunny knows that in Cat Culture, Queen Cats come Furst (even if *rilly* big Maine Coon Cats, like Our Cokie hate to admit it!). 

So ennyways, KayCee lives over at Phil's 'Partmint and rules over his Chowder ob Five Cats: Tobi (The Polite Cat), Munchkin (Maman calls her "Miscreant" - and she answers to it!), Lilly (Baby-cat) and Oscar (who was found inna trash can). And only Maman can get away with calling KayCee names, like "Princess Priss" and "Empress Evil" and KayCee rides around the 'Partmint on top of Phil's head and sleeps atta top of Phil's bed, because Everyfing She Sees Belongs To Her.

And Queen Cats, like KayCee, have Huge Diggity, and you are NEVER, EVER sus'posed to laugh at them!

So Cokie was lounging onna Foo-ton over frum me and he stretched out on his back, showing his ample tummy and said, "*I* bemember KayCee Lookin' Stoopit."

And I was like, "Rilly?"

And Cokie was like, "Yup." and he paddle-pawed atta air, and then looked at me. "You know the ScreenPorch?"

And I was like, "Of course I know the ScreenPorch. Phil said yestidday that he's gonna help Maman and Dadda get it ready to Go Out On nextest week as soon assa wedder clears up a little and gets Warm."

And Cokie was like, "That'll be cool. Habbin'a 'Partmint is all right, but it will be nice to switch venues. I could use a change of scenery, even if I do have to Go Downnastairs to Get There. I bemember Wun Summer Morning, when Maman had opined the ScreenPorch Door Furst Thing bifore she had even gotten her coffee, or gotten her Buk to read the Daily Office with Dadda. It was so early that alla Bunnies were still in their habbytats."

And I said, "I don't bemember this."

And Cokie said, "That's because it's 'BeeGee', as in 'Before George' as in you hadn't been adopted yet."

And I said, "That must have been early inna morning if there were no bunnies out onna ScreenPorch yet onna'count obba Fakt Maman allus lets us be out there for The Daily Office."

And Cokie was like, "Nope, there was just KayCee and me. And KayCee jumped up onna Picnic Table where we are Never Allowed, because KayCee had no faith in Maman's yelling."

And frumma corner obba room, Missy poked her head up and snorted, "Who does?"

And Missy was right, onna'count obba Fakt that Maman yells and we only sorta per-If-*rilly* pay enny 'Tension to her. Maybe at the momint she yells, but that's about it. Otherwise, we just pretty much just go about Whutever we're doing and Maman goes on, yelling about it.

"So," Cokie continued. "KayCee jumped up onna Picnic Table and there were some birdies flitting from branch-to-branch-to-branch through the small trees and bushes that were just outside of the porch. And the birdies saw KayCee and they knew that she was inside the ScreenPorch and not a threat to them, so they were singing and cheeping and not paying the Least Bit of 'Tension to her. 

"And of course, that 'Nnoyed her - because KayCee is a Very Serrious Cat, Queen Obba Chowder, Phil's Princess Priss and Empress Ob Everyfing. Nobun, partic'lary birdies, are sus'posed to just go around ignoring her. So she made her 'Hunting Call' to me."

Cokie stopped to industriously lick his frunt paws. He can't reach any of his other paws onna'count obba Fakt he's so fat, but he has the cleanest, shiniest Funt Paws of enny cat I've ever met. Of course, they require a lotta up-keep and grooming, and Cokie is pretty attentive to keeping them nice - but as it turns out, his paws are the only well-groomed part of him. The Rest Of Him is a mess only a Professional Spa Groomer, or Dadda-Wiffa-Brush, can sort out.

"And because I was a lot more 'Gressive in those days, I bounced up onna Picnic Table beside her."

By this time, Missy had gotten to the nextest corner obba room on her daily quest to clear rocks and vines frumma Hextscape Routes, and she popped her head up and said to Cokie, "'Thunked' is prob'ly more like it."

And Cokie was, like, "Huh?"

And Missy said, "You nebber 'bounced' a day in your life, Cat. When you got up there on dat table, you prob'ly 'thunked' down like a piece of space debris fallin' outta the sky."

And Cokie rolled over onna Foo-ton and looked at Missy. "Are you callin' me 'fat', Bug-a-Lugs?"

And Missy laughed and said, "*I* don't come shamblin' whin Dadda axts, 'Where's Fat Boy?', Chubbo."

So Cokie flopped over on his side and looked at me uppy-side-down and went on, "So I got up onna table nextest to KayCee and she started pacing back-and-forth and doing her butt-wiggle, like she was gonna Do A Pounce on wunna the birdies. And I'm *finking* to myself - 'She can't be planning to Do A Pounce. There's a screen inna'way!' And there's KayCee, doing her Great Hunter Impersonation, tail twitching, nose wiggling, eyes glittering like Maman's jewellery-stuff. And she's doing Hunting Calls to me about 'Swing Left' and 'Go Forward' and 'Keep Down' and alla that stuff like we'd do if we were *Rilly* Wild Cats out Hunting For Prey."

And I was like, "Lookit, Cat, you want to go easy onna 'Prey' stuff? Because I have Anti-Predator Reflexes that are sort of hard-wired into my brain for use Against Cats. And *Most* Cats know better than to trigger those Reflexes in an Adult Rabbit. Because in an Equal Contest, Adult Rabbits trump Cats, almost every time. Didn't Belinda Bunny teach you that?"

And Cokie blinked. "You would never." he said.

And I was, like, "Well, not willingly, but like I said, it's a Reflex."

And Cokie was, like, "A HouseBunny getting a six-foot run-up into a head-butt in the mid-section obba Well-mannered, Visitin' HouseKitty wassa 'Reflex'?"

And I shrugged. "Well, sumBunnies do the head-butt fing and sumBunnies, like me, prefer the kick-inna-toofies method, and Belinda was a little more PawsOn about Top-Bunning than most, but, you know, a Reflex is sumFing over which you don't have much control most obba time. And I would hate for you to trigger a Reflex in me. Onna'count obba Fakt that we are Alla Us Togedder part of Our Warren."

And Cokie said, "Yeah. Well. Okay." and then continued, very carefully, "So, ennyways, KayCee was Pretending to Stalk the birdies that were Outside the ScreenPorch, and the birdies that were Outside the ScreenPorch knew that they were Perfectly Safe Frum Attack on Their Side of the ScreenPorch Screen, and were flitting and chirping and going from branch to branch - and then, just like you-see-on-Tee-Vee - KayCee launched herself like a mini-Bengal Tiger - innu the air, paws hextended, with all claws out - and landed *smack* against the screen.

"And she was stuck - all four paws hextended, flat uppa'gainst the screen, with alla her claws out, gripping through the holes inna screen.

"So I was sitting on the table, and there was KayCee, stuck to the screen, and there was nothing underneath of her but about six-feet of air, and nothing behind her but the Picnic Table about three-feet away."

And Cokie paused to yawn and rub his whiskers on the Foo-ton, spreading his scent around for no good reason.

"So she did whut she allus did when she couldn't think of ennyfing else to do. She started to scream."

By this time, Missy was about through with her Room Inspection and had trundled over to the rug to sit down nextest to where Cokie and I were sitting onna Foo-ton. And she axted Cokie, "So whut did you do that was helpful?"

And Cokie said, "Nuthin'. I sat onna Picnic Table and waited while Maman dashed out, took Wun Look, saw KayCee hanging there onna Screen like sum kinda weird ornament and started whut *she* allus does, which is start yellin' for Dadda. And since Maman has this kinda special 'PanicAlarm' tone of voice that Phil knows *rilly* well, he came pounding Downnastairs right behind Dadda and arrived onna ScreenPorch atta same time."

"And there was KayCee, hanging by all claws about six-feet uppa screen." said Missy.

"And screaming." Added Cokie.

"With no way down." Said Missy.

And Cokie looked at Missy and exted, "How do you know so much?"

And Missy looked at him and said sweetly, "Onna'count obba Fakt I was there, Stoopit. Bemember? I had just arrived from My Fosta Dadda in Noo Yawk, Unkle Michael, and my habbytat was still inna Kitchin while Dadda was building me a Hawthorn's Home of my very own that I mooved innu the very nextest week. So I saw the Whole Fing."

"So you saw KayCee getting Laughed At?" axted Cokie, with his eyes wide like saucers.

And Missy pulled her ears up and away and widened her eyes, too, and said, "I Axtchually Laughed At KayCee!" and she giggled.

"Onna'count obba Fakt I heard Phil axt Dadda if he should hold KayCee up while Dadda disengaged her claws wun-atta-time, and I watched Dadda get wun ob her paws loose, and then saw KayCee start flailing around frantically, and land a paw on Dadda's head, and I heard Phil yell when he got scratched when KayCee started swingin' around loose bifore she re-attached, and then I watched while Dadda-and-Phil retreated to a safe distance to consider Whut To Do Nextest when they couldn't Pry Her Loose. And I bemember that Maman suggested that they get 'tin-snips' and carefully cut the screen around KayCee and lift that section obba screen out and lay it and KayCee onna table so she would feel safe enough to let go on her ownliest. And I bemember when Da Dawg arrived onna ScreenPorch and practic'ly fell over Laughing Atta Cat stuck onna screen and screaming. And I bemember that Maman grabbed him byda collar and shoved him outta Back Door innu the Gardin to eliminate *that* source of Panic. And I bemember," Missy added happily, "that even the birdies outside onna branches were Laffin' Atta Cat Stuck Onna Screen."

"It seems," said Cokie, sourly. "That you haven't forgotten Wun Fing, BunnyRabbit."

"Not when it comes to Humillyatin' A Cat!" Missy hextclaimed. And she flopped out onna floor with her feets kicked out behind her. That's miniLop Lagomorphin for "I'm totally comfortable in this situation, even though you wouldn't think so!" and it's pretty much of an insult when done in front of a large, more or less masculine, cat.

And Cokie stopped and licked his paws some more, which is Feline for "I'm choosing  not to notice that a BunnyRabbit is insulting me, but I can change my mind in an instant because I'm still a large, dangerous critter!"

So Missy began grooming her paws, which is Lagomorphin for "I see your 'dangerous critter' and raise it by an 'I ain't buying it'." but they were keeping their eyes on each other, which is a sort of Universal "Go on, make my day." in enny language.

So I hopped offa Foo-ton and went over to snuffle Maman's foot. And she let me get innu her lap. The Occupation Obba Hoomin sorta has more importance than ennyfing else. If you can Occupy The Hoomin, you are TopBunning the room and everyBun in it. It mostly means you can get Maman to yell or whutever because you have her 'Tension, Furst

And noBunny else does.

And it also means that if I complain to Maman, she will Automatically Enforce the Bunny Bill of Rights, which states "The Bunny Is Allus Right"; which means enny critter that is NOT a bunny is wrong, and will get yelled at by Maman.

So Missy got up offa floor and went back to Hextamining The Room for Rocks and Vines and Cokie just gave up and curled up for a Nap.

And I didn't care, because Maman and I went back to reading the Noos - togedder.

-------------------------------------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 12:22 PM EDT
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Wednesday, 26 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 26
Now Playing: Signs of Spring

You know, a couplela years ago, Missy and I used to have Birdie-Clocks inna SpringTime.

It's how we would wake up inna Morning Just Bifore Dawn.

Not to the lyrical "Morning Chorus" that you hear about, but to the Noo Joisey Morning Squwalk - which issa whole lotta birdies circling over the Back Gardin arguing over If they were gonna land, and if so, Who was gonna be Furst, and hextactly Where, and What they were gonna Eat when they got there.

And Being Noo Joisey birdies (which are starlings, and finches and Robins and mockingbirdies and such) this required a Whole Lotta Squwalk and most of it was *LOUD*.

Then *that* was replaced by a whole bunch of crows that usta fly in for the Morning Caw.

And that was pretty impressive, lemme tell you!

You haven't heard ennyfing until you've heard a bunch of Noo Joisey Crows flying In Formation do a Morning Caw.

We're talking "Shadows Over The Gardin" here, and you could have played sum of that Wagnerian-spookie musics inna background and got a pretty good moovie outta it, too, onna'count obba Fakt that these crows were big enough to make Alla Us Togedder stick to Our Habbytats and not poke our noses up much.

As Mouse said, "There is no point in beminding them We Are Heer."

But we had Da Dawg, (even if he didn't get the Idea that crows can be dangerous to bunnies) and he coundn't be habbin' wif crows landing in his Back Gardin! Especially as they didn't seem to want to Herd.

So ennyways...

Every day for a couplela days now, We've been singing our Bim Song: "The Spring is Sprung, The grass is riz... I wonder where the birdies is?" - onna'count obba Fakt that it is getting warmer and alla that Spring-like Stuff, only...

There are mostly not many birdies inna Back Gardin.

Maman said that it is Too Early for the Birdie Bath to go out innu Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Rose & Herb Gardin, onna'count obba Fakt that it is still getting Below Freezing at Night.

So, Yestiday, Our Neighbour Don-Nextest-Door and Reg-His-Wife were outside diggin' in their Gardin and Maman got all upset at Dadda. She was standing inna BunRoom afta letting Da Dawg go out OnPatrol and she called innu Dadda,

"Brian!"

And Dadda, who was inna Dining Room, doing sumfing with Tea, called back to her, "Whut?"

And Maman was, like, "Loookit that! Reg is getting her Gardin ready!"

And Dadda came innu the BunRoom and stood nextest to Maman, looked outta Our Warren's Memorial Window and said, "Ummhmm. So she is.She and Don always have a such beautiful Gardin. Puts Our Gardin to shame"

And Maman like, looked outta the Our Warren Memorial Window with him and she said, "Lookit Hunny's Gardin."

And Dadda said, "Yes, and whut am I looking at?"

And Maman said, "Nothing."

And Dadda said, "Whuddya'mean 'nothing'?"

And Maman said, "That's the point: nothing. We're looking at nothing."

And Dadda said, "It's Our Gardin."

And Maman axt him, "So whut's it doing?"

And Dadda said, "Noth..." and then looked at her with "The Look".

And Dadda just looked at her for a minit, and Missy, who was sitting beside me, rolled her eyes and said to me, "Why does he allus just walk right innu it like that?"

And I said, "Like whut?"

And Maman looked at Dadda and said, "Exactly!" and nodded.

And Missy looked at me, nodded, and said, "Bingo!"

And Dadda and I were, like, "Whut?"

And Maman said to Dadda, "Nothing is Whut You See going on in Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Rose and Herb Gardin while everything is Whut's Going On nextest-door."

And I thought to myself, "Good one, George. Missy and Maman are usually onna same mental pathways, and you and Dadda, aren't. This is Why Gurls Circle the Room - laying traps - and Guys Sit Onna Foo-ton-of-Life, trying to stay outta the way."

So ennyways...

Maman got Dadda to moove Mr Mouse's habbytat and opin uppa Door toda ScreenPorch so that alla cold Spring air came rushing innu the BunRoom. And Dadda went out on to the ScreenProch and hadda look at alla the planters where there were plants Last Year.

And then It Started Up: The Discussion on Planting.

This happins EVERY YEAR!

Every year, Dadda goes to have a Look Atta Dirt.

Every Year, Maman takes out alla Packet Of Seeds.

Every year, Dadda begins planning to dig up new places inna Back Gardin.

Every year, Maman starts making a list of rose-bushes she wants.

And EVERY YEAR, sumfing goes WRONG with the WHOLE ENTERPRISE!

Last year, we got leggy parsley, anna whole boatload of Williamsburg Heritage Mint. Which was hokay if you hadda Fing for mint.

And Then Missy discovered tomatoes. Which is hokay, too, but you gotta bemember that Whut Goes In Wun End obba Bunny, comes out, Wun Way or An'udder frumma Udder End obba Bunny! Which means that MissyBun managed to accidentally pass a few Santa Grape Tomato Seeds frum Wun End ob her to Our Pootie pan and frum there, Dadda took the pootie-pan and dumped it onna Gardin.

Well, a tomato vine took over the Whole Belinda and Hawthorn Memorial Corner obba Memorial Herb and Rose Gardin!

We're talking Wun Seed, and Nine Feets of vine heer.

That's a lotta liddle tomatoes.

So ennyways, Dadda sent Phil off to the grocery store to buy a box of tomatoes. So now EVERY NIGHT, don't you know, that we getting WUN STINKING Tomato in with Our Romaine Cups!

And I HATE tomatoes!

Yeah.

I mean, I have been heaving them off to the back obba habbytat for aboutta'week now and they are STILL coming. Lastest night, Dadda even apologised to me.

He said, "I'm sorry about this, George." as he put Our Salad down for Missy and me.

And sure enough, a big, fat tomato rolled offa Romaine Leaf and stopped Right In Frunt Of Me. So I flicked it with my nose, and it rolled sorta uppa couplela strands of hay and came right back at me.

So I, like, looked up at Dadda and he looked at me, reached down and flicked the tomato off towards Missy. And he said, "I know you don't like them, but I need Bug-A-Lugs there to start a few seeds in your pootie box. Everybun has to Werk For a Living around here."

And I'm finking, "Lookit, I do my Cute. I sit with Maman. I do alla Top-Bunning. What More Do You Want?"

And Dadda said, "I need Missy to start sum seeds."

And Missy like, sat there, looking atta tomato with that kinda fixed stare that she gets, and then she looked up at Dadda and you could see the "Whaaa!" Look just getting started on her face.

And Dadda said, "Yes, you, Missus. Everybun has to werk around here. And Whut I Need YOU to do is to eat. Which frumma size of you, you seem to do pretty reguarly ennyway, so it won't be A Problem."

So Missy glared and shoved the tomato with her nose back towards me.

And I shoved it back to her - because if there's Wun Fing I HATE, it's tomatoes!

Anna tomato rolled to a stop nestest to Missy.

And Missy was, like, "I don't want it."

And Dadda was like, "Lookit, Miss-Miss you LOVED tomatoes last year! You couldn't cram enough of them innu your gob. Whut's the matter with this wun?"

And he reached innu Our Habbytat and flicked the tomato unner Missy's chin.

And Missy was, like, "That was last year, buster."

So Dadda glared and went off to bother Mr Mouse, who didn't want enny parts of enny tomatoes, even though Dadda was trying to be Pursusasive about them.

Furst Mouse grunted. Then he boxed. Then he lunged and *rilly* grunted a lot and ran around inna circle and climbed up innu his pootie box and sat there, grumbling away to himself - which is a sure sign that Sumbunny is gonna get hurt if they keep shoving tomatoes innu his face.

So Dadda went over to Dusty.

Well, Dusty had been running back-and-forth yelling, "PetTheBunny! PetTheBunny! PetTheBunny!" ever since Dadda had mooved over to try and give a tomato to Mouse.

So Dadda dropped a Grape Tomato innu Dusty's Pellet Crock and said,

"In your bowl, Dusty!"

Which issa same fing that Maman tells Dusty when she drops a Baby Organic Carrot or sum udder Treat for him. She calls this "training" but Whut It *Rilly* Is, is that Dusty won't eat ennyfing unless he accidentally "finds" it in his bowl. He's actually a very neat little bunny-boy that way. Like all miniLops, he adores Food and Treats, but he's so helpless that his Hoomins have to be trained to put them where he can get them easily, onna'count obba Fakt, he can't see past his nose to find a Fing.

I never said Dusty was "Smart" - just neat, as in "tidy". In most udder respects, he couldn't find his backside wif both paws anna roadmap.

So Dusty went over and hadda look innu his crock and then looked at Dadda and he was like, "Whut?"

And Dadda said, "There's a tomato, Dusty!" Like it was sumfing good.

And Dusty was still, like, "Huh?"

So Dadda said, "In your bowl. A tomato!"

And Dusty was, like, "PetTheBunny?"

And Dadda said, "Eat it, you stoopit Rabbit."

And Dusty blinked, looked in his crock atta tomato and then looked up at Dadda and was like, "PetTheBunny?"

And Dadda was, like, "NO Pet-the-bunny! Eat-the-tomato!"

And Dusty was like, "Pet-the-bunny!"

And Dadda started yelling, "Eat-the-tomato!"

While Dusty was running back-and-forth and yelling, "Pet-the-bunny! PetTheBunny!"

So you know where *that* ended up...

And Foxie, who is such a little suck-up, of course, she ate a Whole Tomato.

So Missy finally ate the wun, stinking tomato that was in Our Habbytat, just to get it out of there.

And now, we're getting Wun Grape Tomato with Every Salad, like it's Sum Big Deal, and suddinly, Dadda is grabbing Our Pooty-boxes right out frum unner our butts and running them Out Innu the Back Gardin, almost bifore we're done with them, if you know Whut I Mean.

So you know where *that* is going, too - Which all means that Spring is pretty well Sprung heer at Our Warren.

But there still are very few birdies awake inna mornings. No "Morning Chorus" and no "Morning Caw" to wake Alla Us Togedder just bifre Dawn.

And I just read a noospaper artykul inna Daily Telegraph Online that there are 20% fewer Gardin songbirdies inna UK this season. You can read it, too, by clicking here.

So I don't know Whut's Going On, but I can tell you that Whutebber It is, It's Going On...

------------------------------------ By George!


Posted by Our Warren at 12:51 PM EDT
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Monday, 24 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 24
Now Playing: Our Week-end

Hokay, well, that's anudder Holly Day outta the way...

It's not that We heer at Our Warren don't like Holly Days - We do! - it's just that Maman has a real Talent for Messing Fings Up. She has alla these Plans In Her Head about Whut Is Supposed to Happin, and then Sumfing Else Happins, so that Whut She Planned, Doesn't Werk Out.

She used to get upset over it, but now she just accepts that if she plans it, it's gonna get screwed up.

Easter was a Prime Hextample of This Fing In Action.

Furst of all, she didn't tell ennyBunny, 'cept Alla Us Togedder whut she was finking. Then, Three Days Bifore Good Friday, while she was folding laundry, she said,

"When I was a Girl (Now, I thought Maman was still a Gurl, like MissyBun is still a Gurl, but whutever!) When I wassa Gurl, we usta go to my Granny's in Western Pennsylvania, and visit Bim's Family. There was Granny - who was blind - and Granddaddy - who was a Presbyterian minister - and Bim's Aunt Rebecca, Uncle Wray, and Uncle Grant and Numerous Other, Supporting Cast. Easter was a huge production of Church Services lead by Granddaddy, hymns, organs, flowers, and I remember always beging dragged off before-hand to Philadelphia to buy a new dress, new hat, coat, gloves, mary-jane shoes and socks with lace on them.

"And then there was the all-day drive along the Pennsylvania Turnpike - with tunnels - and Bim and your Mom-mom would always, invariably get into an argument over Bim's driving and Mom-mom's back-seat driving, Bim would get a migraine and we would arrive at Granny and Granddaddy's with Bim having to have a lie-down because he was so frustrated and upset.

"This was because no one could drive for more than five miles in the car with your Mom-mom without wanting to strangle her - as was demonstrated by Your Sistah Beffy when she was only about a year old, and strapped into the back-seat, and could barely talk, and she was amusing herself by talking to her Beary-bear, saying, 'No, Bill. Use your turn-signal, Bill. Stop, Bill. Slow down, Bill." Which everyone thought was hilarious - except Your Mom-mom, because even at a year-old, your Sistah Beffy could mimic Your Mom-mom perfectly.

"Ennyway, once we got out to Western Pennsylvania, Granny would have me learn to set the silver on the table with Annie Hamilton who was the Housekeeper, and I would get to carry the small silver tray with crackers on it behind Annie when she served 'Cocktails' - which were really glasses of cranberry juice - before dinner, and I would get to dye Easter Eggs, and cut fresh beans with Uncle Wray, and clean the guns with Uncle Grant. And Granddaddy's Sister, Aunt Hazel taught me how to do 'tatting' in the kitchen while the ham baked, and Aunt Rebecca taught me how to bake corn pudding.

"And I would get up very early in the morning and go with Granddaddy for a quart of milk. Actually, he was getting up to make his pastoral calls. He was a retired minister, but he was always 'Helping Out' one of the other clergymen in the town, calling on members of their parishes, making sure this or that family had heating, or food, or whatever it was that they needed, and I followed him around like a small assistant, and he would talk to me as we walked from house to house, about what each family needed. And sometimes, what each family 'needed' was quite different from what he provided.

"I got to see inside of poor miners' houses, and got to see children who stared at me like I'd come from another planet, And I stared back at them, because I couldn't imagine anyone being 'allowed' to go barefoot in the cold Spring. I didn't realise it was because they were saving their shoes for school and church by not wearing them inside the house, until Granddaddy told me. I had always thought of being without shoes on as a sort of happy consequence of Summer. It didn't happen in the Spring because I'd always been told, 'You'll catch your death.'. And I didn't understand socks that were knitted and didn't come from Wannamakers or Nevius-Voorhees, or at least from a five-and-ten, like Willet's or Woolworth's. The concept of 'rag-socks' was beyond me.

"And I'd never really seen a Crucifix up close, either, and many of these people were Roman Catholic who belonged to the big granite Church that I could see from Granddaddy's study. They had these somewhat greusome-looking Crucifixes tacked over doorways and on inside walls of rooms, and they had garishly painted statues of a woman with what looked like a blue hood covering her head. And I found these frightening, because my Mother (Your Mom-mom) told me that 'Roman Catholics' worshipped these statues and thought they should be prayed to, when anyone in their right mind knew that statues couldn't help anyone, and Jesus lived in Heaven with God.

"So my Granddaddy helped me to understand that statues and pictures of the Virgin and the Saints existed to instruct and remind us to live better lives, and to help us all to remember when to pray, and helped to provide examples of how to live better lives. He took me to the pale, granite Church that we could see from his Study window and the priest there, who was a friend of Granddaddy's, taught me about Saint Francis of Assisi, and I saw his statue for the first time. And not only did this statue have the obligatory birds sitting on St. Francis' hand, but there was a small bunny sitting, listening to him, at his feet.

"And that is where I first began to understand that the world, as it is, is not created exclusively around the concept of Hoomins, and that God, The Father, has created something much greater, in which Hoomins play only a part.

"Granddaddy used to tell people in his sermons that if you wanted to see how people should look at God, you had only to look at how a dog looked up at them. That was a reflection of the Look We Should Cast Toward Heaven. And Granddaddy was very fond of dogs - it was just that Granny and Annie Hamilton 'didn't hold with having them inside the house' if there was a kennel on the property.

"And Grant and Wray didn't 'hold with' teaching 'The Girl' - that would be me - how to hunt, either, so I was taught that a gun was never to be aimed at a living being. They took me out to The Farm we owned and taught me to target shoot and to trap shoot, which Granny declared 'A Lady' had to learn, even if my mother thought it put 'Ideas Above My Station' into my head.

"I didn't know it then, but there was a female power-struggle going on over my education, with Granny and Annie Hamilton firmly in the camp that was going to raise me as a 'Proper Lady' and my Mother, who was just as firmly dedicated to the idea of raising me as the 'All-American Girl'.

What my mother - your Mom-mom - didn't know was that her sister and mother were traitors who were in Bim's Mother - that would be Granny's - camp and had opted for the 'Proper Lady' education for me, too. So my mother was out-numbered and out-gunned, did she but know it, and most of the money and resources were being poured in the direction of me being given riding lessons, music lessons, dancing lessons, tennis lessons, Spanish lessons, and singing lessons while my Granddaddy was quietly instructing me in Theology behind the scenes.

"Actually, it was a wonder that I escaped from them alive, I suppose."

Well, I didn't say ennyfing, but I pretty much agreed with her On That Wun.

So MissyBun was rummaging around in the hay-pile she had managed to shove togedder in Our Habbytat, and she stuck her nose out to axt Maman, "So Whut Are We gonna do for Easter?"

And Maman was like, "Well, what I want to do is to have a ham, and have Phil come over. I'd *like* to have Anja come over and we could dye Easter eggs, and I would have liked to buy to her an Easter dress, and a hat, and take her to Church - and the poor child should be Christened, too. Roman Catholic or Anglican, it doesn't matter, but she needs to be christened and I know that she hasn't been. But she needs to be brought up in some faith so that she will have a basis from which to choose someday, and no one can choose from a point of ignorance."

And Maman looked off, out of Our Warren's Memorial Window, but she wasn't seeing Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Herb & Rose Gardin outside, she was seeing somefing inside. And she said,

"I know that I'll be accused of wanting the child's christening for social reasons, and that's not fair. It's not the party that matters, it is the Baptism, itself. It is that Anja be brought into the Communion. That is the responsibility of childbearing: that you will teach. Children are a trust, given into our care only for so long. Her mother was told this over and over, yet she chooses to assign her own motives to my choices. It's not the party, George, it is the Act, itself, that is of value. The party plays no part in the Larger Life. But everyone has listened to her lies and none of the truth, even when it was told to them. 'A lie can go around the world seven times before the truth even gets it's boots on.' If offered the choice, why believe evil in place of good?."

Then Maman set the pile of towels she had been folding down on Our Habitat. And Missy looked up at them and was grumpy that Maman had set them there, but she didn't stand up and try to pull any of the corners down innu our space or chew any holes or anyfing onna'count obba Fakt Maman was still there, folding more stuff, and prob'ly Keeping An Eye On Us.

"So Whut I Would *Like* To Do For Easter is also to find a hat to go with the Periwinkle-blue dress, too, because I don't think either of the straw hats are proper for March, but I think the feather one I have Uppystairs will do, if not the Felt Fedora. And I want to catch at least part of the Holy Vigil on Saturday. Then go to High Mass on Easter Sunday Morning, have the ham for Easter Sunday dinner and I think there will be cabbage, potato, corn and carrots..."

Well, of course, none of *that* happined. Onna'count obba Fakt Thursday night Maman told Dadda that "Everything hurt" and she didn't look too good. By Good Friday, she was going frumma Foo-ton Uppystairs, to the Sofa inna Sitting Room, to the bed inna Bed Room, anna Dawg said she was Bummping Innu Da Walls, so he was following her everywheres. By Holy Saturday, she was careening offa doors to da BafRoom, and Dadda was pretty much steering her where-ever she went.

And that's when she said to Dadda, "You think mebbe I gotta FLU?"

And Missy turned to me and was, like, "Uh oh!"

So Easter Sunday turned up anna Dawg came in frumma OnPatrol inna Back Gardin and he said it was C-O-L-D outside, as well as looking a Lot Like Dark. So he and Maman felt their way Uppystairs and I heard Maman whispering to the Catz, so I guess they're still up there in their 'Partmint, onna'count obba Fakt that she didn't take Missy-and-Me. She 'pologised to Alla Us Togedder later, about Eight O'Clock Inna Morning when she came downnstairs and said,

"I'm sorry Bunnies, I fortygot Whut Time It Was because it feels like my head is underwater. You want your Baby Organic Carrots?"

Yeah, like we're gonna turn down Treats. That'll happin!

So, of course, Mr Mouse was the Furst Wun to stand up and say he'd have a Baby Organic Carrot, Thank You! and then Foxie stood up, and Dusty started running himself around in circles, yelling, "PetTheBunny! PetTheBunny!" as loud as he could, and buzzing. That boy *rilly* puts a lotta effort innu his Cute, lemme tell you!

So we all had Baby Organic Carrots, and a helping of Shelled Unsalted Sunflower Seeds onna'count obba Fakt that it was Easter Sunday Morning. And we hadda Prayer with Maman, Alla Us Togedder, while the houz was all Quiet and at Peace - just Us anna Dawg and Maman togedder inna BunRoom. And there were no Eggs, and No Candy, and no Baskits, and no Hats or Flowers or ennyfing, and I know that Maman felt sad and guilty onna'count obba Fakt she was still sik.

Because she said to me, "You know, George. Here I am, left in charge of alla this and I still can't get it right. No matter Whut I Do. I keep trying to trace back the source of Where It All Came Unravelled, so I can put things right - and I can't. Maybe I never will. But until I can, I have a feeling that we can't go forward. It's like, 'Fix the Fundamental, and the rest will fall into line.' - except I can't get to what's really wrong to fix it. But I have to, or we're not going to have a proper Easter or a proper Christmas, ever again. Or maybe it's just that This Is Where the Particular Thread in The Story stops - but I don't believe that, either. So..."

And she went back Uppystairs, with Da Dawg, who hasn't got a Kloo, (and couldn't get Wun, even if he was being paid to look for it!), following on behind her.

And that pretty much Whut Was Our Easter, this year. Trust me, if I could put it all innu context, I would, lemme tell you, but so far, its just Wun Ob Those Fings...

----------------------------------------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 10:11 AM EDT
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Thursday, 20 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 20
Now Playing: Bemember the Bunnies

Whoa. Pollyticians put themselves out inna Court ob Public Opinion and axt udder hoomins to be The Judge of them - and then complain loud and long that they are being judged. So that strikes me as weird. I mean, why axt for sumfing and then reject it when it happins?

Verges onna "Stoopit" if you axt me.

So I am more or less choosing to ignore the Whole Political Mess, except to say this: HouzBunnies are more faithful Companions than sum obba Gubbernors and Township Council Members that I have heard bleating inna noospapers! I mean, *rilly*!

MissyBun and I have been bonded for five years and never been in anudder bunny's habbytat. Beebe-Bunny would have torn ennybunny apart who messed with his CloverBun (And sharing a pootie box togedder is about as close as you can get wif sumbunny!)! Maggie and Hunny were bonded for sumfing like eight years, which is like a lifetime in BunYears. Makes you wunder about pollyticians, lemme tell you! 

And hoomins say stoopit stuff like, "Breed like rabbits" - well, at least bunnies have lifetime bondmates, which is more than can be said for Spitzers or McGreedys. (And if McGreedy is gonna be an Anglican priest and lead udders inna unnerstanding of Christ's Sacrifice for Hoominkind, howcome he isn't concentrating onna Easter Message just now, instead of bragging about his sex-life, which is so not-important inna context of Christian faith and practice? You have to wonder about the whole "mill-stone around the neck" fing right about now, lemme tell you.)

Ennyways, none of that matters because pollyticians are like buses - miss wun and there's anudder wun coming downna'road. You can't get rid of them wif sticks...

Maman says that it has been ages since she voted *FOR* sumwun and not just *AGAINST* whomever was running. She says that issa sad indykayshun obba lack ob Quality In Candydates.

Whutever.

At least we gotta good Mayor, she says, who will probably do sumfing good for the Animals In Ewing if the Stoopit Township Council will obey the Law and let him speak atta Township Council Meetings. I fink the Council *should* do sumfing good for Animals, seeing as how they haven't done ennyfing good before. They had a chance, Maman said, when she took them bunny food, sum habbytats, and supplies, but that didn't go very far onna'count obba Fakt that nobunny there was very concerned about the Lost Abandoned Rabbits.

If you haven't haven't got a Voice, you are OnAlone.

So I am taking this last oppertunity bifore Easter to bemind EVERYBUNNY about MakeMineChocolate.org - PLEASE! Make SURE that the ONLY bunnies you buy for Easter are CHOCOLATE! Click on the button or click here for more information!

Thanks.

I mean that.

I know lotsa hoomins are tired of hearing me talk about it, but it's Important To Me. And like Belinda Bunny said when she started this The Hay Diaries Blog: "These are MY Observations and 'Pinions. If you don't like them, get sum ob your own." I'm not quite as blunt as Belinda. She hadda English Spot way of putting fings that is sorta not the same as me, but the Idea behind the Werds kinda matches.

I mean, lootkit, if you were a babby and sumbunny took you frum your Furst Home, and stuck you inna cardboard box and left you inna V-E-T's office - just LEFT YOU THERE! - closed up inna cardboard box without a blankie or drink of wadder or *nothing* - and the V-E-T didn't have a place for you AT ALL and there was no *home* for you to go to, unless some Stranger-Lady rushed over frum her houz to come get you...

Well, wouldn't YOU want to MAKE SURE that the SAME SORTA FING NEVER happened to ENNY UDDER LITTLE BABY BUNNIES EVER AGAIN?

I mean, *rilly*.

So, you see, that's why I'm so insistent about MakeMineChocolate.org at Easter - because buying a baby bunny for a child at Easter is wrong.

Inna Furst place, if you are celebrating Easter, you are a Christian - because, say what you will, Easter is a Christian celebration (even though the name has pagan origins). If you are not a Christian, then you are celebrating sumfing else. So since you must be Christian, at least nominally, it is assumed that you have sum kinda baseline unnerstanding of Whut Easter is About - which would be Jesus and His Teachings.

And most of Jesus' Teaching had to do with God - the same God that is talked about by Jews and Moslems, by the way - and His Creation. Jesus said that the Earth doesn't belong to hoomins. They didn't create it, so it's not theirs. That's pretty basic. Hoomins didn't create the Earth, but they live here, along with Everybunny else that SumBunny Else, namely God, created.

So Hoomins are Stewards. Being a steward means being "in charge" of Sumbunny's Else's property - and being a Steward means having to give an accounting to that SumBunny eventually about *how* the property was managed. So, did the Stewards take good care of the SumBunny's udder creations onna planet? Or did the Stewards just buy sum of the udder creations - namely the bunnyrabbits - that the SumBunny Else had created and treat them like they were plush toys filled with polyester fibre and not living creatures?

You see, buying a living creature in place of a fluffy toy to be discarded later on is against Christian teaching. That's the bottom line. If you say you are a Christian, then you follow the teachings of Jesus (that's pretty basic) and you would never, ever buy a bunny for Easter and then abandon it, or thow it away, or put it in a cardboard box and left at a V-E-T's when you got tired of having it!

You would ONLY bring in a bunny as a Companion Animal to share your life for the next eight ot ten years, like Our Cousin Casper of BunnyHaven inna picture. You, as a Christian, would make a commitment to live WITH a Companion Animal for the space of your natural lives. If you want a bunny, it would not be "for Easter" - it would be "Forever".

So that's why I have dedicated the month of March to MakeMineChocolate. I know it bothers sum of you to read about whut you alreddy know. And I am sorry that I say so much about it - but I don't want there to be so many udder Sad Bunny Stories afta Easter. My Story had a Happy Ending - Maman came and rescued me. It almost didn't happin, because Our Warren was full to the rafters with rescued bunnies, and three of those bunnies were Very Senior Bunnies who had health issues.

There was no room for me when I furst arrived. Maman and Dadda had to keep me inna Hospiddle Cage for a week, and I hadda go to see Dr Sharin to make sure that I was hokay to live with udder bunnies, and when Maman brought me a Romaine Cup, I was preddy sure that she was trying to poison me, onna'count obba Fakt that I had never seen Greens before! In Fakt, if Hunny and Belinda hadn't told me that there were Treats Involved, I never would have tried 'nanners or appuls or enny kinds of froot at all!

And all I *rilly* wanted was for Maman to sit with me and Pet My Head, onna'count obba Fakt that I had no mawmie and I was skert. That's Whut Easter Had done For Me.

And that is NOT Whut Easter Is Alla'bout. Easter should not be about being afraid, or being skert, or being OnAlone. It issa Time Of Year that Christians, and Anglicans in particular, are taught that we are Wun Big Warren, and that we are NOT OnAlone, and that we are Alla Us Togedder. Nobunny should be left out, or be unloved, or be tossed aside.

At Eastertime, everybun is welcome, and everybun is beloved; miracles happen at Easter.

So, please, bemember the bunnies.

The pollyticians, the noisemakers and the fools will always be among you, but so will we. Being quiet and faithful, we will always be here, like Our Cousin, Norman in SoCal (who owns HareWEAR - "Support shelter bunnies, buy HareWEAR!"). He sent us this pikchur of him dressed up in his Easter Costume. Do not fortyget that bunnies are among you, not as *things* but as creations, as you are - and we will be here, always looking up, always hopeful, always believing that, if not today, then tomorrow...

------------------------------------------------ By George


Posted by Our Warren at 2:09 PM EDT
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Monday, 17 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 17
Now Playing:

Ohhhhhhhhh...

...I...

...Amma...

...Itty-bitty, teeny-tiny, whittle-bitsy, teensy-wheensy, smallest-bunny-you-imagine - like-a-hamster, only bigger! - RILLY little, justa BABBY, eensy-weensy Unoffical Teacup English Spotted Rabbit!

I am Foxie-Princess-Chick, Smallest Bunny in Our Warren!

This morning, Maman opined my Habbytat and I skittered uppa ramp and clambered out into her Bafrobe pockit!

Yes I did.

And I nestled down all nice-as-you-please, and stuck my head out (with just my ears showing like the tips obba hankie) - and we went along innu the Sitting Room to sit. While Maman hadda Fink. While Mostly Maman hadda Fink and I digged around inside her pockit for sumfing to chew.

So *that* didn't werk out - Maman said that it is inpossybul to *fink* with a Rabbit (even a small one!) diggin' around in her pockit.

Personally, I dunno why - onna'count obba Fakt (like George says) no pockits are hooked up to her brain...

...but that's Whut She Said.

So we went Uppystairs and Maman kicked the Catz outta her Study and closed the door in Cokie's face so I could sit onna Foo-ton and have it To MySelf. As I should.

Maman says I am the size obba Large Rat-Wifout-A-Tail, and *SHOULD COME* with a SIGN that says: "NO CATZ" onnit onna'count obba Fakt catz (in general) take waaaay too much obba innerest in me onna'count obba Fakt I am tiny - like prey, in fakt.

So she hadda kick the Catz outta her Study and Close The Door in Cokie's face and all and 'Fishully Upset the Big, Black Cokie-Cat who *finks* he owns everyfing, inklooding the Foo-ton.

So Cokie went off innu Dadda's Office, laid down unner'neaf obba Big Dadda Desk and hadda *hork* to show just how 'Fishully Upset he rilly was. And Dadda said to Cokie, he hoped he would cough uppa gold watch, onna'count obba Fakt if he coughed uppa brown ring, he should swallow, quick! And Cokie just glared, all 'Fishully 'Fended and everyfing.

Because of me!

Because I am Smaller-than-I've-enny-Right-to-be-and-still-be-a-bunny.

And Maman said That Is THE POINT.

Uh huh.

The Whole Point!

The Whole Awful Spreading Point that makes Make Mine Chocolate necessary!

Itty-bitty, teen-tiny bunnies that won't grow Enny Bigger Thanna HairBrush.

Uh huh.

Because it's Easter, the biggest Bunny Nightmare of All!

And that should not be. Easter is not a time for Nightmares, but a time for Celebration, Liberation and Salvation - those things that stand in direct opposition to the darkness of Greed and Selfishness that are the hallmarks of evil. Easter is about Redemption, not slavery; about Life, not a living death. That anyone should turn the greatest celebration of Mercy into a reign of terror and misery over the innocent seems to her to offend Heaven, itself.

And yet, it is allowed.

You see, Bad People said: *We Will Make Munny on Easter!" (Yes they did, and you know they did, because I am living proof that they did!) 

Bad People said: "We will make munny by Selling Little Tiny Living Bunnies to Children at Easter Time!" (Because Cute Little Bunnies have been associated with Easter since before Time Began! And little children love little bunnies with their soft, cuddly fur, and sweet, trusting eyes!)

And Bad People said: "The whole Trubble With Baby Bunnies is that they grow up innu Big Bunnies and then people don't want them. So Whut If - Whut If - Uh huh -  Baby Bunnies Stayed SMALL, and Cute, and ALLUS LOOKED LIKE CUDDLY TOYS!"

Uh huh!

So Bad Peoples called up Udder Bad Peoples and they mated small Netherland Dwaf Bunnies with Udder Bunnies until they had Smaller Udder Bunnies in 'Tractive Colours with 'Tractive Markings.

Uh huh.

And then they bred these Smaller Udder Bunnies BACK to get Even Smaller Bunnies !

LOTS of Teeny, Tiny, Itty-bitty, Very Cute, LIVING BUNNIES that looked like Tiny Toys!

LOTS and LOTS of teeny-tiny, very little fluffy BUNNIES to put in pet-shop windows and sell to ennybunny who walked past!

And OH LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! LOTS-and-LOTS-and-LOTS of poor, innocent, sad and lost, little bunny-souls taken away from their mawmies' sides, huddled and afraid, seeking shelter together from the unknown terrors of the outside world!

And, oh, it was awful! Because Bunnies are not *easy* pets. They need Responsible Families to Live With, and Responsible Owners to bring them water, and proper food, and to keep their living arrangements clean, and to give them playtime and to understand that Living With An Urban HouseRabbit takes thought and Kindness and Caring and LOVE and Commitment!

But Bad People thought only about The Munny.

The Munny they could get for creating - and selling - these Little Tiny, itty-bitty, teeny-weenie, allus-cute, forever-small BunnyRabbits that could fit innu a pocket, no-bigger-than-your-hand or a good-sized-Gimmie-Pig...these little, tiny "teacup" bunnies, Like me, Little Foxie-chick.

And Maman said, "This is morally unacceptable."

Because baby-bunnies grow into Adult Rabbits, and To what you have tamed, you owe an Obligation of Care. Maman is most def'nit about that.

Because even The Cokie-Cat who is sitting unner'neaf obba bookcase now - and *horking* - in Dadda's Office, feeling 'Fishully 'Fended and Sulking, is axtcually being Cared For. Even while he's *horking* and feeling 'Fended and Sulking. He has His Wadder, and His Food and His Litter-box, and he has a sunbeam to lie in, and he has a Choice of Chairs in which to sit - he's just Sulkin' (uh huh) onna'count obba Fakt that he's been told to temp'rarily leave Wun Room inna Whole House,  so I can Have A Turn being in there. Cokie is still Getting Cared For, just not the way he *finks* is Totally Fair.

But Whut Is Unfair, said Maman, is Hoomins Exploiting Nature for Financial Gain Through Cruelty. And she says breeding Itty-Bitty, Teeny-Tiny, Itsy-Bitsy Teacup-Sized BunnyRabbits to sell as toys at Eastertime is Unethical and Amoral.

Uh huh.

Because we are too teeny-tiny to live without help. We need Speshul Veterinarians to help keep us well. We need a careful diet. We need Companions to unnerstand that we have teeny-tiny, very little mouths with extra-tiny toofies and itty-bitty ears to be looked down, to be kept clean. We are prey to alla Big-Bunny diseases. We need Frequent, little meals and almost constant little sips of water. We have to be watched carefully because we can fit through the smallest of cracks, and we can scamper like the wind! Bunny-proofing our rooms issa challenge! We can't be around Catz onna'count obba Fakt we look like prey and we make Dawgs nervous. We are too fragile for children and too quick for most adults.

We are not pets. We agree to be Companions. But only just.

But Bad People thought LIttle-Bitty, Teeny-Tiny Bunny-Rabbits would be a good source of Munny at Eastertime, so they have Perverted Nature and Perverted a day that is Sacred and so Bad People have engineered Us for their Own Cruel, Selfish Ends.

So I was bought assa Toy - but I am NOT A TOY!

I Am A Bunny!

I hop-binky-sliiiiiiiiiiiide-hop-turn! Iunaroundanna'roundanna'roundanna'roundandstop!

I pose for pets and mug for treats. I nip if you're slow and dive innu pockits to look for stuff myself. I am quick-like-a-bunny!

And I *could* sit in Wun of Maman's Antique Teacups and let her take my pikchur with her "camera" if I wanted to, but I don't want to, so I won't. Because I habba English Spot "butterfly" on my nose and English Spot spots running down my back inna "broken line" anna English Spot bunna'tude fumma tips of my teeny-tiny toes toda tips of my itsey-bitsy pointed ears, and I will nip - hard! - with sharp itty-bitty needle-teef and scratch - hard! - with sharp, teeny-weenie needle-claws if you bother or alarm me sufficently.

I am a Companion Rabbit for the Rabbit-Experienced Only.

I am NOT a TOY for CHILDREN!

I am a Companion to Share Life!

So BUY Chocolate for Easter - NOT Bunnies. And if you simply gotta, hafta, no-compromises-MUST have a bunny-for-Easter... then Make Mine Chocolate! Because candy lasts for a day, but a Bunny is a Lifetime Companion. Chocolate is an addiction; HouzRabbits are a commitment.

Uh huh.

Please help stop Bad People. Go here or click onna banner to see how you can help!  

----------------------------------------- By Foxie-Chick (another Rescued Easter Bunny)


Posted by Our Warren at 12:02 PM EDT
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Sunday, 16 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 16
Now Playing: Music Dreams

In the Old Style of the reckoning of days, today would be the day normally marked as the day of the Death of the Russian composer, Modeste Petrovich Mussorgsky.

I am mentioning this because Modeste Petrovich is special to Maman, and in honour of him we are listening to music this morning. Maman has found some music written by someone named Hans Zimmer that is very hextciting and it's to his music that We Are Listening just now.

Specifically, We Are Listening to something called "THE ROCK - Navy Seals Theme (1)" and it is like that Michael Bay commercial onna television for Verizon - "Awesome!" (You can hear what sounds like Mr Zimmer's music in the background of the commercial, too!). Mr Zimmer has all kinds of awards - Oscars, Golden Globes, Grammys - every award ofwhich you can fink, so it's not just us that like the stuff he writes.

Mr Zimmer's music is full, and sweeping and it gives a bunny a sense of Being Onna'Venture just going around a room! Missy said it's great to listen to as she goes around the edges of a room onna'count obba Fakt that it makes her feel like Danger-Bun - sneaking up onna Catz, like an Intrepid Cat-Stalker (Like Our Cousin in Oz, Indigo), and patrolling the room against threats, like a real, live N.C.I.S. agent or sumfing.

Mr Mouse said that listening to Mr Zimmer's music makes him feel like he is a REAL ADA walking downna'real marble hallway to the biggest court-case of his life with his Legal Bun-Team right behind him, and there's no way he can lose! He's gonna put away an Animal abuser for Life in prison, and no-bun can stop him! 

And Foxie Princess Bunny says that hearing Mr Zimmer's music makes her feel like a real Princess out to save her Nation from Bad Guys, like she is running acrosst a field with the Bad Guys right behind her, and she is leading them right innu a Trap fulla sharp-toofied bunny-commandos and bun-ninjas! Yeah! And just as she scampers over the high grass atta top obba hill, here comes the Hare Force, making a low strafing run in those F-22's that Phil talks about, with their guns blazing and bombs going off everywheres - and little Foxie imagines she is scampering through all the smokes and stuff, leading the Bunny-Commandos to defeat the Animal abusers!

And all the abusers that she takes prisoner, she hands back over to Mr Mouse to parade through the Court House and Put Onna Stand where they have to 'splain themselves to a Jury of Their Peers - all angry bunnies, kitties and dawgs who have been hurt by cruel people.

And Dusty said that listening to Mr Zimmer's music makes him feel like he could be part of Missy's Urban Detective Team, freeing dawgs that are caught up in Fight Rings, and liberating poor birdies that are chained up in backyards all over with no-bun to help them. He said that he and Missy would employ good detecting methods, mostly using the computer, to hunt down the bad, abusing people, and be Animal Cops, opening cages, and saving lives.

And he hopes that Mr Zimmer might someday write musics about him and Missy and Mouse and Princess Foxie, and maybe even about Auntie Michelle and Judge Rudy, too - and show whut it is like to have Animal Heroes in Akshun, hunting down Evil Hoomins and Prosecuting Them in Heroic Buildings.

Yeah.

Because there are not enuf Good Hoomins to go around. It is time for Animals to do Whut We Can. "Watership Down" was a story of mere survival and eco-responsibility, wasn't it? It wasn't a story of Whut We Can Do when we are faced with a cause like Good against Evil - and anyone who believes for a sekond that there is no Evil is an idiot.

Now I know there are a lot of post-modern pseudo-intellectuals who are preaching atheism and the impersonality of Evil as though it was some New Evangelism, with the same fervour as the old Tent-Revivalists (and with their same lack of finesse and logic!) and who are trying to blame five hunnert years of history on whut they want to call "religion". And they are sad, desperate, little people terrified of the load logic demands they bear, to reform their damaged universe - because if there is no Superior Being, then it is up to them, and to them, alone, to save the world - a task they reject.

They are trying to make ennybunny who is a theist feel silly and ashamed, and they do it by using arch language and pseudo-intellectual posturing. What they fail to realise (that even a bunny knows!) is that their arguments are rilly old and have been disproven previously. In fact, their arguments are SO old, that they are not worth refuting here! Better authors than I have demolished them, so I won't take the time or the trouble. But the secular humanists argue on very thin ice, lemme tell you!

There is Evil! And it is visible, and becoming more so every day as hoomins permit it to slip comfortably into their daily lives. When cruelty becomes casual and acceptable, something to be slipped on and off like a dress or a coat, then there it is a problem

Here is Whut I Mean: A Serial Murderer is a muderer: someone who takes away someone ele's life, a breaker of the Commandment, "Thou shalt not kill." and a breaker of that social contract that is known to every Hoomin society. Murderers are never "Good" or "Heroic" or "Ethical" people, yet here issa television show where one is a Hero.

Yes, he is sad he issa killer. He admits that he is not ethical. He makes excuses  for being a taker-of-life. But he doesn't Do Whut Is Right. He doesn't turn himself in to the Police, and suffer punishment for his crimes against society - he strives to not get caught.

And Whut He Does is given acceptence onna-count obba Fakt that he "only kills udder killers". How does this make it right? Killing is still killing, and no one, under the current system of law, has a right to act as another hoomin's executioner. But the amorality of the television show doesn't seem to bother enny hoomins - the show has received critical acclaim (oh, yes, the actors are good!). In fact, everything about the show is good - so the premise can be hextcused! Except that the premise - on its own - is vile!

Well, well, the Elephant Is In The Room! But no hoomin dares to name it for fear of looking conservative or reactionary. *Progressive* people accept the inevitible advance of violence, and evil without protest. It is very unfashionable to dislike ennyfing hextcept smoking, body fat, and fast food. Sexual perversion, poor taste, and designer drugs are all hokay - as it is hokay to accept a murderer, even while he does not choose to do what is right (turn himself into the police.). Evil can only beget more evil. The only way to go is *Down*.

So this is where bunnies and the udder animals come in. We did not take part in Adam's Fall. We were not Exiled Frum Eden, nor did we ever suffer seperation from the Love of God. We did not choose to abandon Him. You'll notice, if you dare to go back and read the stories told by the Ancient Jews in the Hebrew Texts (Septuagint) and in the Christian Old Testament that Evil chose to *appear* as a snake when it came to speak to the First Woman. The Animals did not take part in the Fall of Hoominkind.

When Hoomins chose to disobey God, by their own Free Will, they got themselves tossed out of Eden.

And the Bible is the story of Hoominkind. It is NOT the story of the Animals or Whut Happined to Us, except as we touched upon hoomins! (So don't go barking up *that* tree, either, hokay? The Bible isn't about *us*, which is why animals don't get a Whole Lotta Mention)!

But you know whut is implied? That we chose to came with the Hoomins out of the Gardin.

We, who had never done Whut Was Wrong - we chose to come with you, as Helpers and Companions and as Guides. You became Stewards, to care for us until our Master should Return.

Animals agreed to share this planet with Hoomins, to help you get along - because without us, you would perish!

Now how about that assa Noo Idea?

So we share everything - including the music that we hear. And when we hear somefing that is good, we tell you about it - Whut We Hear and Whut We See in the Music so that you can listen to it, too, and perhaps see the dreams that we can see.

Because This Is Whut Music Is - the sounds of dreams alive inna air. If you close your eyes when you hear music, you will see dreams come alive in ways that are impossible without music. Everyfing will be there right behind your eyelids in colour, like the most vivid dream in the depths of the night - and you can remember the dreams that you see in music, unlike dreams in the night. Dreams in music are alive and can be made real each time you hear the music. As you see yourself in the music, so you can become. It is through music that we move from idealisation to realisation!

This is Whut Mussorgsky Said, and this is Whut He Knew. So through Mr Zimmer's music, Missy sees herself as a bold pet detective, so she is, and on her can be pinned the hopes of sum abused animals as she searches web-pages to fing dawg-loving circles - because as long as she hears Mr Zimmer's music inside of her, she will werk towards helping udders become free. As long as Mr Zimmer's music remains playing inside of me, I can continue to see myself as more than I am - and I can be that heroic writer who is like Mr Dickens or Mr Kipling, who types Whut He Sees so others see it also!

Yeah!

And as long as Mr Mouse hears Mr Zimmer's music inside his head, he can be a Real ADA, fearless and professional, with a keen mind, who finds as many ways as he can to change the laws to be animal friendly in this area. And Auntie Michelle can be in her one-person office and know that she is on the cutting-edge of District 'Turney's Offices Everywheres, that she has been the Furst where there will soon be Menny - and that she is holding aloft the Light that will Guide Others. Right now, she might feel OnAlone, but she is NOT! She is the Hope, the Furst! Soon, everybun will want to be like her and Judge Rudy!

Music makes the dream real, gives it a depth, and a presance that it could not have when it is only a silent dream seen by one. Music makes the dream more than a dream; it lifts the head, gives stars to the eyes, blows wind through the hair, and lifts the spirit alof to run with the clouds. Through music the dream finds expression and liberation and runs, like electricity, expanding from one heart to another.

So we will celebrate Our Dreams today and carry them like kites into the the high wind of pure music! Hooray for Hans Zimmer! Hooray for Mussorgsky!

------------------------------------------------------------ By George!


Posted by Our Warren at 7:18 AM EDT
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Monday, 10 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 10
Now Playing:

A snap-shot of Us: The BunRoom has a Washing Machine, anna Door-to-the-Back-Gardin anna Door-to-the-ScreenPorch innit, anna Salad Bank. Most imporantly, it has Our Habbytats.

Over the weekend, Maman and Phil took down alla curtains and hung up Noo Curtains that Maman said are Navy Blue. Whutever. They are sus'posed to keep out enny lightning that happins outside onna'count obba Fakt lightning scares MissBun and Maman doesn't want her to be scared.

So the BunRooom looks Quite Nice, and now the Sun comes up earlier Outside or sumfing onna'count obba Fakt Dadda told Maman alla clocks were buggered on Sunday. Alla Us Togedder have noticed Nothing Noo, hextcept that Maman and Dadda woke up one hour later than usual tiday, anna Dawg didn't care onna'count obba Fakt he is Feeling His Age and is Not Very Anxious to Go On Patrol when it is Very Cold Outside as it was This Morning. He prefers, he said, to Wait Forda Sun to Warm Fings Up. He said there is Currently Ice onna Small Pond atta Bottom Obba Gardin, which makes it Very Dif'cult to Mark His Territory inna Usual Manner.

Ennyways...

The Whole Fing that is bothering me tiday was brought up by Maman as she was beginning to do the Laundry this morning.

Because the Washing Machine is inna BunRoom, Maman does a Lotta Talking to Us while she is doing the Laundry. Alla Us Togedder consider this to be Our Time Togedder with her, when we hextchange Opinions and Ideas onna more or less Equal Basis.

  !


Posted by Our Warren at 9:27 AM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 16 March 2008 7:20 AM EDT
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Saturday, 8 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 8
Now Playing: Almost Ooops

Well, yestidday Maman was off sick, which mostly meant that we were off, too, onna'count obba Fakt that if she wasn't Uppystairs in her Study, None of Us Togedder were there, either. 

In Fakt, she did most of her Being Sick onna sofa inna Sitting Room, by herself, with Da Dawg sitting there, being bored, and this was onna'count obba Fakt Dadda told him to "Guard" Maman when he left the Houz. But, assa Dawg said (when he was on wunna his trips out to have a drink atta Water Bowl inna Kitchin),

"There is no trick in 'Guarding' sumfing that don't moov."

So Da Dawg was bored and Alla Us Togedder were mostly Bored, too. 

Then Phil and Laura showed up and we all got Baby Organic Carrots (which was Nice) but then they hadda go Uppystairs onna'count obba Fakt Maman couldn't Stand Enny Noise, so *that* was Pretty Much the End of *That*, too. 

Then it began to rain.

And Missy and I were all tucked up in Our Habbytat, and suddinly Mr Mouse said frum over in his Habbytat, "I wunder Whut Happined toda Catz?"

And Missy settled her Gen'rus Pro'porshuns down further nextest to me inna Hay, plumped herself out and was, like, "Humpf. Good riddince to Catz!"

And as I was sorta scrambling to make way for my hexpanding Bunwife, I was, like, "I dunno, but I haven't seen them inna'while." 

And Mouse (who doesn't have to scramble to make way for ennybunny onna'count obba Fakt he issa Singletary and has his Whole Habbytat to himself) said, "Well, Beep-da-Udder-Cat sneeked Downnastairs for a Sekond the udder day and squeeked that she didn't like their Noo Litter. I didn't even know they had Noo Litter!"

"Whut's not to like about 'litter'?" I axted Mouse. "We have Yestiday's Noos alla time. Don't the Catz have their Very Own Kind of Litter, too?"

And Mouse said that he thought they did, and he thought the Catz were just about The Most Spoilt Catz Onna Planet of Our Warren, Ennyways.

And then Missy added that she thought it was Pretty Good that the Catz were now Banned to their Own Apartmint Uppystairs, onna'count obba Fakt Catz have no place in Her Werld, Ennyways.

And she stretched out her head forwards and her legs backwards, which pretty much meant that she was taking up a Goodly Porshun Obba'Vailable Sleeping Area in Our Habbytat. So I nudged her, which was pretty much like poking innu a pillow.

And outside, it was raining more.

So Mouse was having a Small Snack and he called over to me, "Hey, George."

And I was, like, "Yeah?"

And Mouse was, like, "You napping?"

And I was, like, "Not rilly. Missy's kinda inna'way of Primary Optimal Sleeping Arrangemints."

And Missy opined wun eye and said, "We're takin' turns."

And I was, like, "Lookit, we don't *have* to 'take turns'! The Onliest Time we have to Take Turns is when you lie all kitty-corner inna Habbytat and stick me heer, inna corner! Udderwise there is Plenty of Room in heer for Two, mebbe Three HouzRabbits." 

And Missy said, "Are you callin' me a Cat?"

And luckily, I stopped to fink this over before I said ennyfing else, onna'count obba Fakt Missy Hates Catz.  

Now Missy has Allus Hated Catz. Even before I knew her, before I even came to Our Warren, since before even Missy came to Our Warren, she has Hated Catz.

It has sumfing to do with her kithood *before* she was rescued.

Maman and Dadda didn't know this at Furst, and neither did Unkul Michael (Bailey and Janie's Dadda) who was her Fosta Dadda, onna'count obba Fakt Unkul Michael didn't Hab Enny Catz for her to hate.

But as soon as Missy got to Our Warren that would be her Forever Home, she Met Cokie-the-Fat-Cat and KayCee-Empress-Kitty (who was living heer onna'count obba Fakt that Phil was inna Navy).

Now, Cokie had alreaddy tumbled toda Fakt that he wasn't welcome inna BunRoom onna'count obba Fakt that Belinda Bunny had alreddy head-butted him outta there. And as he had rolled acrosst the floor, it had been impressed innu his furry skull that Messing With Bunnies was Not A Good Idea, even for Rilly Big Catz.

But KayCee was dif'frunt frum Cokie. She was small, fast and she was Empress and could beat-the-snot outta Cokie. So she didn't rekognize the Fakt that, while she might not be able to Win-Against-Belinda, she might not loose Againsta-'Nudder-Bunny.

And this is Part Obba Lore of Our Warren as it was Told To Me, George by me,Hunny *Senior Bun* of Our Warren. So you know it is Troo.

So KayCee came innu the BunRoom, Just Looking - which is sumfing that Catz do. There is no Hostile Intent or Ennyfing like that, it is Just Looking because Catz want to See Everyfing, even if it Is Not Their's. So KayCee came Just Looking, and was walking down through the BunRoom.

And she kept a 'Spektable Distance frum Belinda Bunny's Habbytat, onna'count obba Fakt  KayCee was Far Frum Stoopit - and Belinda was  *There*, giving her the English Spot Stare, that just happins to be a lot like the Border-Collie Warning Stare that says, "Make my day, stoopit."

And KayCee was Bright Enuf not to try on enny of *that*. So she gave Belinda a Wide Berth, and went on walking through the BunRoom. Then she got to the end of the BunRoom, and turned around, hoisted her tail like a flag, and began parading back the way she had come...

Which brought her close by Missy's Habbytat.

(And Bemember that this happined Before Missy Met Me (Which is Why it  is part obba Lore, because I wasn't Rescued Yet) and Missy was living on her own in Our Warren assa Single Urban HouzRabbit!)

And Missy was watching KayCee saunter up the BunRoom, and she was paying partik'lar 'tenshun to KayCee's waving tail that was waving up inna air like a flag just above KayCee's smug little face.

And assa tip obba tail went past, Missy grabbed it in her mouth, and pulled.

Now MissyBun issa Big Beautiful Bunny-Gurl of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, with Big Beautiful Paddle-Feets Attached Onna Rear-Sekshuns. So once she had the Cat-tail in her teefs, she began to use those Big Beautiful Paddle-Feets to Begin to Back Up, one Paddle-Foot atta Time, inna *RILLY* determined manner. And she was pulling the Cat-tail, with the KayCee Cat still attached, further and further innu the Habbytat with her.

The onliest problem was that the KayCee Cat-Tail was still attached to the KayCee Kitty, and the KayCee Kitty wouldn't fit through the Habbytat door!

And wunna the fings you gotta know about KayCee Kitty issat she screams. It doesn't matter if she is winning or losing - as soon as ennyfing lays hold ob her Sacred Kitty Person, she starts screaming and doesn't stop. So as soon as MissyBun had got hold of the KayCee Kitty-tail, KayCee had started screaming.

And didn't stop.

Which was Whut Attracted Maman and Dadda to come running innu the BunRoom in time to see Missy (with her Big Paddle-Feets going determinedly Wun Atta Time) trying to strain KayCee Kitty butt-end furst through the habbytat door.

Which was preddy much how Our Warren discovered that MissyBun Hates Catz.

And here I had gone and used the werd "kitty-corner" in describing how Missy was taking up Alla'vailable Sleeping Area in Our Habbytat, which was preddy much accusing her of *being* a cat.

Talk about an "Almost Ooops" moment...

So I looked at Missy and Missy looked at me and I suddinly began Pondering My Futchur Continued Peace and Harmony onna'count obba Fakt I am Not A Stoopit HouzRabbit

And I settled down on my paws innu a tidy Loaf Position, tucked up my tail and lowered my ears until wun ear was lying along my back and the udder was flopping 'Feckshunately acrosst Missy's head, and I said,

"Even if you hextpand to cover the entire habbytat, I got alla room inna werld!" 

And over in his habbytat I heard Mouse chuckle over his pellet-crock.

------------------------------------- By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 7:39 AM EST
Updated: Saturday, 8 March 2008 9:39 AM EST
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Thursday, 6 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 6
Now Playing: Guess Whut Flies?

Hokay, well *that* wasn't good.

Yestidday, Phil came to visit.

Which, of itself, was Perfektly Hokay, onna'count obba Fakt that he usually does and Maman doesn't mind or ennyfing. He just arrives, sorta Fits Innu Our Warren Like He Never Left and stays for Awhile. And that doesn't bother EnnyBunny onna'count obba Fakt he is Maman's Youngest Kit, Assa Fully Grown 'Dult, Still Growin' 'Tellygint (like me).

So, No Problem There.

No, the Problem came when he Arrived Inna BunRoom and started talking to Foxie.

Now Foxie is a Very Small Bunny-Gurl. As Our Auntie Carla (who is mawmie to Norman and Riley and who owns HareWEAR) pointed out, she is more like the Size Obba Very Large Hamster than a Very Small Rabbit.

And *This* is onna'count obba Fakt that the Evil Industrial Br**d*rs for Mega-Pet-Retail stores like some Petco stores and the like, have decided that they are going to take part in selling Bunnies at Easter.

As you know, we here at Our Warren are strongly opposed to the Selling of REAL BUNNIES at Easter!

The Hay Diaries proudly supports the 2008 Make Mine Chocolate Campaign!

HouzRabbits all over the Werld have spoken, and candy rabbits are ALWAYS  preferred to REAL BUNNIES as Easter gifts!

Please click on our link here and go to the Make Mine Chocolate web-site to find out how you can help spread the werd  that "Easter Is No Fun for a REAL Bun!".

Buy a tee-shirt and wear it proudly! Buy a button and wear it to a board meeting! You will be sus'prised how menny people you will inform, how menny lives you will touch, and how menny Bunnies you will save.

Because there are companies that make "Board-Room-Level Decisions" to treat Bunnies as "stock", like hand-soap or seasonal ornaments, and they ask Questions like, "How can we make this 'product' more appealing to our Target Purchaser?" And then they do stoopit "market studies" that indicate their "subjecks" like *small* bunnies onna'count obba Fakt that their "subjecks" are little children, whose parents *fink* Small Bunnies will make better pets because they look more like toys than REAL LIVE BUNNIES!

But atta same time, these "Board-Level-Retailers" just want a cheap commodity that can be easily kept, with a low over-head, with an attractive inventory, at a reasonable price, that can be ordered all at once. Very tiny bunnies fill that bill also. Having them be babbies issa "good" idea for them (and only them!) because the baby bunnies will be docile and easy to handle and can be kept in large groups that won't fight or damage each udder.

And Babby Bunnies come with an over-abundance of Cute, alreaddy!

A Retailer's Dream! And a Hundred-Thousand Tiny Bunnies' Nightmare-Journey to Hell...!

Because the Retail Pet Stores go to Industrial Br**d*rs and AXT them for Tiny Baby Bunnies!

Never ONCE thinking about the Tiny Little BUNNY LIVES they will sell to any hoomin with munny in their hand!

Yeah.

Which is why we are so Opposed to Pet Shops selling bunnies at Easter.

Because hoomins buy little baby bunnies, and then they keep them for just *so long* and then get "tired of them" and throw them away.

This is the Sad TRUTH of Easter Bunnies!

So the Horrible Industrial Br**d*rs, who have no consciousness, fill the orders frum the Retail Stores for Cute Baby Bunnies. And they deliberatly TRY to br**d the tiniest, cutest BUNNIES. They cross teeny white Netherland Dwarf bunny-gurls with smart, sassy English Spot bunny-boys, then cross the tiniest sons and daughters to get even tinier babies! 

Like Our Foxie.

Our precious little "Teacup Spot" who is not a "Noo Breed" of Bunny, but a sad little inbred cross, no bigger than a gimmie-pig, very hard to spay, very tiny for Our Dr Sharin to care for, very delicate to handle, and too much *work* for the stoopit people who bought her assa "Easter Boy-Toy". They misnamed her "Lightning", didn't learn Ennyfing about having a HouzRabbit, and then decided, "Well, let's have ferrets."

So there was no room in their hearts for Foxie, ennymore and they wanted sumbunny to take her off their hands.

So now Foxie lives here at Our Warren, and is Living Assa Urban HouzRabbit.

So Phil came and was making a Fuss Over Her and she was making Doe Eyes at Him, so he decided to Pick Her Up.

Well, across frum Fox is Mr Mouse. And Mr Mouse is used to Waking Up With Dadda every morning and going Uppystairs on Dadda's shoulder to Go To Werk. This is onna'count obba Fakt that Mouse issa CBO or sumfing (Chief Bunny Officer) of sumfing called Lagomorphin Enterprises that Missy says she owns.

Ennyways...

Dadda was *rilly* bizzy yestiday, so he told Mouse that he wasn't going Uppystairs toda Office, but was going straight to sumfing called Sertyfied and he Would Be Back for Mouse's Playtime, Later.

And Mouse was 'Nnoyed About That onna'count obba Fakt that Mouse doesn't *do* "Later". He does "Now" and "Soonest" and "You don't Ignore Mouse."

So While Dadda was gone, Phil arrived and started playing with Foxie.

And he let her out and let her climb up on his shoulder!

Well, just as soon as Foxie's little Head appeared over Phil's shoulder, and she took a look down at Mouse in his habbytat.

And Mouse was, like, "HEY!"

And Foxie was like, "Lookit me!"

And Mouse was *rilly* 'Nnoyed so he grunted at Phil, "HEY! STOOPIT!"

And Phil turned to Maman and was like, "Hey Ma! Look at Mouse. I think he's angry or something because I have the little Princess out."

And he stood up and there's Foxie, riding high on his shoulder, way above Mouse's head. (onna'count obba Fakt Phil is rilly tall!).

And Foxie was not making it easy on Mouse, eidder, lemme tell you! Onna'count obba Fakt she was hanging on to Phil's collar with both little white paws and laughing at Mouse who was down in his habbytat, grunting and tossing bits of hay inna air.

And Missy turned to me and was like, "Hoo-boy. Dis can't be good."

And I flipped my ears around in agreemint, onna'count obba Fakt I was agreeing with her, but there was nothing *I* could do about'it frum over where I was in Missy-and-my habbytat.

And, of course, Dusty wasn't paying enny 'tenshin at all, onna'count obba Fakt he was stuck on dancing in circles buzzing, "Pet-the-Bunny-Pet-the-Bunny-Pet-the-Bunny-Pet-the-Bunny-Pet-the-Bunny!" over and over again like some kinda recording loop.

So Maman said to Phil, "I think you'd better either put her down or go somewhere else before Mouse explodes from sheer envy."

And Phil was petting Foxie and Foxie was loving it and they went on like that for awhile, and Phil said to Maman, "Mouse is gonna have to get used to it."

And Maman was like, "Mouse doesn't 'get used' to ennything. Mouse just gets even."

And Phil laughed - and you know, this is allus dumb! - but he did it ennyways - and then he said to Maman, "And whut's he gonna do about it?"

And he even turned to Mouse, who was sitting there, all hunched up and Glaring Disapproving Rabbit Looks at Phil, and he said,

"Whutcha gonna do about, Tough Guy? Huh? I got your chick, and what are you gonna do about it? You sum big tough Marine? Come on, Short Stuff. Show me whut'cha got."

Which is prob'ly how guys who usta be inna Navy talk, but it isn't how you talk to Mr Mouse.

So Mouse turned around and gave Phil the RBB, and then looked over his shoulder, just to make sure that Phil saw him doing it.

And the RBB is the Worst Insult There Is in Lagomorphin. It means, literally, "I tun my back on you - you are not even worth being considered a threat that must be monitored." or, less politely, it is the Lagomorphic version of "The Bird".

And Maman saw Mouse do this and she just shook her head.

And Foxie saw Mouse do this to Phil and she giggled!

And Missy said to me, "Well, that's done it. I wonder where the Fat-Cat is? He's usually around when the pooties are about to fly."

And I didn't say ennyfing because, you know, Whut's the Point? I just went to Occupy the High Ground and Stay Outta the Way, lemme tell you!

So, finally, Phil said to Foxie, "That's enuf, little Princess." and let her go back innu her habbytat.

And then Phil went off with Maman. And for awhile it was preddy quiet in Our Warren, but I am not Stoopit; Mouse was just getting geared up.

Then I heard Maman and Phil coming Downnastairs wiffa Dawg close behind them. Anna Dawg came through innu the BunRoom, and of course he stuck his Border-Collie nose innu Mouse's habbytat and said cheerfully, "Howyadoin' BunnyRabbit? I'm onna way out On Patrol.", and snorted dawg-snot all over Mouse's hay, which issa dawg-way of being sociable.

That is totally unacceptable to Rabbits.

And then right behind Da Dawg came Maman, and Dusty started running in circles yelling, "Pet-the-Bunny-Pet-the-Bunny-Pet-the-Bunny!" and this time, *IT WERKED!*  Maman stopped and petted Dusty - who went innu an immediate swoon ob Total Bliss. 

And Mouse grunted, "THAT DOES IT!" and dove straight innu his pootie-box and started digging furiously with his frunt paws.

Well, for the Furst Fing, Mouse-in-his-habbytat is about on eye-level with the Dawg. For the Sekond Fing, Mouse's habbytat is Direktly Across Frum Dusty. And forda Third Fing, Mouse's habbytat is onna 'Zactly the Same Level as Dusty. And Maman was standing right between Mouse and Dusty anna Dawg was right beside her..

And the pooties literally began to F-L-Y across the room.

I mean, we're talking a hail of pooties.

And Da Dawg was like, "Hey!" and he was trying to cringe and somehow make there be Less Dawg assa Target.

And Maman was like "Mouse!" and she was holding up her hands like shields.

And there were even more pooties flying outta Mouse's habbytat and he was digging like he was onna way to China.

And Phil, who was standingi nna doorway, and not inna direct line-of-fire was like, "Whoa!"

And Dusty suddinly popped outta his trance and realised that he's being showered with pooties. And Dusty, who is not too Quick Onna Uptake, was like, "Whutdaheck? Pooties? Hey, Mouse..." and then he started running in circles again, trying to get outta the way.

And pretty soon, Mouse's pootie-box was empty.

And the BunRoom floor was covered with pooties, hay, and lotsa pellets of Yestiday's Noos.

And Maman, slowly put down her hands, and started brushing out the ends of hair, and a few pooties fell out on to the floor. And she looked at Phil, standing inna doorway and she said,

"You hadda go and challenge him, didn't you."

And Phil was like, "Hey, not my fault! I learned in the Navy that sh*t rolls down-hill, but, ya know, this is the first time I've ever seen it actually get off the ground!"

------------------------------------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 1:40 PM EST
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Wednesday, 5 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 5
Now Playing: Was Spring, Sprung?

WHOA!

Hang on to your ears!

We were, Alla Us Togedder, (Missy-and-Me) in Maman's office when there was this rumble.

And we could hear it onna'count obba Fakt that Maman hadda little window inna Catz Bafroom Opin onna'count obba Fakt we needed the Wind to come in to carry off the Smell Left By Cokie-the-Fat-Cat who had Just Left A Contribution In His Litter-box.

I mean, the Wind that had been coming in had already been giving Maman a headache and was making Missy clingy. Bad Wedder is Wunna Those Fings you kinda Ged Used To when you are Living Assa Urban HouzRabbit in Noo Joisey. It's like, you know Innel'lektually you are inna Houz and proteckted frum Wind and Rain, but the Rabbit part of your HouzRabbit Instinks tells you to Get Your Head Down inna Bad Blow. And the Wedder in Noo Joisey is like Dadda says, "If you don't *like* it, wait five minits!"

So, the Fakt was that we had been Smelling Sumfing onna Wind ever since Maman had opined the Bafroom Window onna'count ob Cokie-the-Fat-Cat.

So we heard the rumble and Missy said to me, "You know, that smells like Thunder."

And I said, "Can't be Thunder onna'count obba Fakt it is still Winter Outside. The Dawg said it's getting warmer, but we haven't sung the Bim Song, so it certainly can't be Spring."

And Missy said, "Lookit, George. I know Thunder When I Smell It. And I don't like Lightning, so I make sure I know smells I don't like. Besides, look at Maman."

And sure enuf, Maman was sort of weaving around in her chair atta'puter.

And that's when we, Alla Us Togedder, heard the rumble again, and Maman called out to Dadda in his office, "Brian? Was that thunder?"

As I've said previously in The Hay Diaries blog, Maman has a Good Grasp Obba Obvious.

So I waved my ears and was like, "Yup. That's Thunder. This issa Thunder Storm and we're having it."

And Missy said to me, "Lookit. I'm gonna shut my eyes. Iffa lightning comes through my eyelids, you don't let it zap me, hokay?"

And I was like, "Hokay." Onna'count obba Fakt Missy has this weird notion that if she can see the Lightning, it's gonna zap her, when the Fakt Obba Matter is, if you can See the Lightning, it's Alreddy Too Late and You Been Zapped. I've tried to hextplain it to her, but she refuses to Get It - sorta like trying to discuss Quantum Mechanics with Dusty: once you go sub-Atomic with him, his eyes glaze over, he starts Presenting and we're right back to Pet-The-Bunny

So there I had Missy stuck innu my side, and Maman-atta-'puter said, "Uh oh." just as a Big Gust Ob Wind slamed innu the Houz.

And then Heer Came The Rain. And we're talking firehose-onna-flat-rock, not your Gen'rally Gentle Spring Shower, folks.

So Maman came to the Brilliant Decision to go habba Look Atta Wedder Maps onna Nashunal Wedder Service. (You can see them here. Just type inna name of Your-City-or-Zip-Code onna top, left-hand side and click "Go"). She usually goes to the Bow-Tie Wedder-Guy (onna'count obba Fakt that nobunny knows Bad Wedder like he does!), but tidday, she wanted the NOAA-Guys in Mount Holly.

Yeah.

You know, Our NOAA-Guys in Mount Holly are down there in their Bunker, posting Maps and reading their 'puters and stuff, and ishooing Warnings and getting information from Everywhere, and Maman waits until we're already IN THE STORM bifore she goes to see Whut They Have To Say About It.

It's the whole Grasp Obba Obvious fing.

And, sure Enuf, there is a Nice Red Line formed almost innu a out-ward-facing-bow onna 'puter Radar Screen, sweeping it's way up frum Delaware Bay inna Gen'ral Direkshun ob Us.

Now HouzRabbits are the Third Most Pop'lar Companion Animals In America, but we still have Instinks that remain frum when we Lived Inna Wild. And Inna Wild, we bunnies would go down Innu Burrows Inna Warren when there was gonna be Bad Wedder. And Unner'ground there is No Wind, and No Rain, No Thunder and No Lightning and Everyfing is warm, quiet, dark and dry. Which issa Lot Like a Houz, hextcept for the "dark" part.

Anna wild bunny's usual response to a Dangerous Situation is to Sit Tight until the Danger has Gone Past, which Gen'rally Werks if the Danger happens to be, say, a predator or sumfing that is Looking For You - onna'count Obba Fakt if the pedator doesn't Find You, it won't Get You.

But Bad Wedder isn't like a predator. Bad Wedder issa more generalised sort of fing that's not looking to get ennyfing, so it will Get Everyfing. And Everyfing will inklood *you* if you don't get outta the way. So staying still and not moving is Not An Option when you're caught Inna Opin by Bad Wedder. But inna Houz, you are as safe as inna Warren.

It's anudder Grasp Obba Obvious fing.

So the Storm Blew Over and the Lightning Didn't Get Missy, and Maman's head didn't hextplode.

And afta a few minits, Missy said to me, "You know whut, George?"

And I was like, "Whut?"

And Missy was like, "I habba feelin' about dis."

And she shuffled her feets around so that she was facing outwards onna Foo-ton, hextcept forda Fakt that her butt was still Glued To Mine For Her Protekshun.

And I was like, "So whut's your 'feeling'?"

And Missy said, "We're gonna hab to talk dis ober wiffa udders, but I fink it might be Time to Sing the Bim Song."

And I snuffled the wind that was now blowing innu the Little Bafroom Window and hadda short Fink aboudd'it and said to Missy, "You fink?"

And Missy said, "Yeah. I fink That Did It. Spring might have Just Got Sprung."

"Just Like 'That'?" I axted her.

And she said, "Just like dat. *Bang* Spring Is Sprung, and we're gonna hab to hurry downnastairs and Sing the Bim Song. Tidday. Right Now. Alla Us Togedder."

And she looked at me. "You're the Top Bun, George. Why are you sitting there! Get bizzy! Get Maman to take us downnastairs Right Now! And getta Dawg anna Catz togedder! We gotta hurry!"

And I'm, like, finking to myself, "Yougottabekiddin'me." and then, for Sum Reason Known Only To Herself, Maman puts her hands against her desk and says to Missy-and-Me:

"Come on, You Two. We're going Downnastairs."

And I'm Telling You, even though Maman does speak passable Lagomorphin, Missy didn't say a Werd or make a Gesture towards her! So Whut I'm Finking issat Females have sum kinda strange connection along which they can communicate onna level males can't! Onna'count obba Fakt, Maman caught Dadda off balance, too, because he said to her as she stood up:

"Going downnastairs, Sweetheart?" like he hadda'bout much obba Kloo about Whut Was Suddinly Going On as I did.

So now I gotta figger out How To Call the Catz (who are stuck Uppystairs) anna Dawg togedder innu the BunRoom so we can all Sing the Bim Song.

Right Now.

Tidday.

Onna'count obba Fakt that it seems Spring has just been Sprung...

---------------------------------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 10:32 AM EST
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Monday, 3 March 2008
George's 2008 Third Strand: Day Number 3
Now Playing: Mandatory Spaying and Neutering

 

Sorry about the gap in The Hay Diaries.

*Stuff* goes on in Real Life, too, and sum obbit I can't control, even if I hadda stick. The best Fing Alla Us Togedder could do over The WeekEnd was to Sit Tight and wait for Fings to blow over a little bit.

So we did.

Ennyways...

Now it's Monday again, and I want to tell you about anudder blog that I found.

You know, Wunna The Fings I have found is that Good Noos for Companion Animals can pop up Ennywheres. You have to keep your eyes opin and your ears up (or in Missy's  case, just be Onna'Lert).

While looking for sumFing else, I found TrentonKat's Blog. It is a blog mainly aboud'da Kat living inna City of Trenton. Now you know I usually don't read much that is typed by catz onna'count obba Fakt that if I wanted to know whut Catz were finking, I could go axt Cokie-da-Fat-Cat and he would be sure to have anna'Pinion.

But this TrentonKat had an entry on February 27 in her blog about Trenton creating sum legislation that would require all pet-owners to Spay and Neuter their Companion Animals.

The entry is called "Mandatory Sterilization" and it makes a lotta sense. 

I mean, *rilly*, who needs to add Hormones to Living Assa Urban Dawg, Cat or Rabbit?

The Fakt is that 80% of all female rabbits die of a mammary-related illness unless they are spayed. 80%! That means that if sum backyard br**der selects a bunwife to have kits, that poor bunwife has an Eight-in-Ten chance of going to the Rainbow Bridge EARLY onna'count obba Fakt she has contracted a Preventable Illness

Anudder Fakt is that Neutered Male Rabbits do not spray or become as Offensively Defensive as Unneutered Male Rabbits. And we bond a Whole Lot Bedda when we have been Neutered, too, lemme tell you!

I can tell you this for a Fakt, onna'count obba Fakt that when I arrived assa Easter Dump heer at Our Warren, the Stoopit Hoomins who Dumped me had not bothered to have me Neutered. So Maman took me to Dr Sharin and she said, "Well, he's too young to neuter right now. Bring him back in four weeks."

And Maman and Dadda took me back to Our Warren, where I promptly chewed a hole to Go To See Missy, and then Missy (who had been Spayed Alreddy) told me I Was A Pest. So she blocked up the Hole I made to go visit her with her Gen'rously Pro'porshuned Rear Sekshuns.

So I got mad and that's right around when Beebe-Bunny came over to hextplor my habbytat onna'count obba Fakt that I wassa Noo Bunny inna Warren. So he and I got innu a Circle Fight. And I caught him in my paws and he squealed and Dadda hadda come Rescue him frum me and I wassa'shamed of myself and got sent to sit inna habbytat to behave myself until it was time to go back to see Dr Sharin.

Yeah.

And so then, Maman took me back to see Dr Sharin right away and Dr Sharin hadda look at my Rear Sekshuns and she said, "Uh oh. I expected George to grow, but, um, George has certainly 'blossomed' into a Very Big Little Boy!"

And I got Neutered Right *Then*

And so, afta that I sorta didn't feel much like duking it out with Beebe - or enny udder bunny - ever again.

And Maman said that it was all due to Hormones, or "Lack thereof."

Whutebber.

And so Maman preddy much insists that everybunny else around heer at Our Warren is also Spayed or Neutered. Maman said that there is only ebber gonna be Wun Unaltered Male in Our Warren and that's gonna be Dadda. She made an Hextception for Phil until he growed up and became anna'dult and moved out, and now he says that he issa Only Unaltered Male in his Chowder, which is also preddy much Troo. But he got the Whole Idea frum Maman.

And Maman also said that Two Babbies - Sistah Beffy and Phil - were Enuf for her, so there was not going to be Enny Br**ding Happining Heer, either - and that we are not even allowed to mention the werd.

So you are a boy and you get Neutered. You are a Gurl and you get spayed. That is being Responsible. There are many bunnies, kitties and Dawgs living in Shelters who are In Need of Forever Homes! Even if every hoomin who wanted a Companion Animal adopted frumma Shelter tomorrow, there would *still* be poor, abandoned perfectly good friends waiting for more Forever Homes!

And this is all Onna'count Obba Fakt that there are Irresponsible Backyard Br**ders who think that Animal Abuse and Cruelty are Fun and Profitable. There are Stoopit Hoomins Everywheres who Fink that a critter *hasta* procreate; that spaying and neutering is "Unnatural", and would sumhow be an "Indiggity" to their Companion Animal.

Well, lemme tell you - NOT NEUTERING YOUR PET IS AN INDIGGITY!

By not neutering your pet, you are forcing him to live with frustration. You are forcing him to live with embarassment. You are forcing him to live with hormones he doesn't need! And guess whut else? A Backyard Br**er doesn't know ENNYFING about the breed of his dawg or kittie or bunny. He only knows *his* dawg or kittie or bunny - WUN amongst hundreds of thousands! And that's nice, but that's nothing.

Sure, your "Champ" or "Nero" or "Rocky" or "Snookums" is grand. But that doesn't mean that they have to replicate themselves. They don't *need-to-br**d*. They won't have Ishoos if they don't mate. They won't gedda "complex" if they don't have sex. It's YOU, Stoopit. You're the wun wiffa problem, and mostly it's not below your belt, but above your eyebrows. Your pet isn't show-worthy, or breed-worthy, but he or she is Love-worthy.

A Responsible Breeder knows everything there is to know about WUN kinda Dawg or Kittie and makes sure that only wun or two EVER get to make MORE ob their kind. The BEST of their kind. The udder wuns are spayed and neutered and are adopted as companion animals and pets - not to make more dawgs and kitties, but to make Friends and Companions.

Backyard Br**ders are scum. Even sum Registered Br**ders are scum. Lower than scum. Maman says she has axtchually been acquainted with pond scum that has better manners and morals than some Br**ders. She is firmly obba belief that there Ought To Be Laws Requiring Mandatory Sterilization, and in Sum Cases she can imagine that The Law shuld be hextended to Hoomins, she says.

I dunno about Hextending The Law to Hoomins, although to be Fair, I don't see Why Not. The Werld Shuld Be Equal, and mebbe we could improve the breed of noospaper reporters so they could at least spell werds. I am having less Trubble reading the Noospapers frum Inkland (bemember, Inkwish is my second language!) than the Wuns Frum Around Heer. There is Wun noospaper that Maman and I read Togedder inna morning that sounds like it is typed by Little Children assa Hextersize in Class. Yeah. Maman can't get over it. Sumtimes she reads it twice, and then out-loud so I can hear how it sounds, and she's right - it sounds like ten-year-olds onna school-ground.

Ennyways, I have learned to type Inkwish as I hear it spoken to me, and sumtimes as I see it, and sumtimes as it was taught to me by Belinda Bunny who was Wunna The Furst Bunnies to translate Lagomorphin into Inkwish. The main difficulty with translating Lagomorphin is that Lagomorphin has so much body-language that doesn't easily translate innu hoomin werds: there issa Big Dif'ference between communicating over open land inna sunshine or by firelight and communicating inna dark tunnels obba Warren, unner'ground. We bunnies can communicate paragraphs with an ear-angle and a tail-twitch.

But most of Lagomorphin dates frum when we were still Living As Wild Bunnies, and now that we are Living as Urban HouzRabbits, we have had to learn Noo Ways to communicate, and Noo Ways of Using Technology and Noo Ways of doing Menny Fings. Out-dated fings have to be left behind. And that inkloods Out-dated practices of producing as menny litters as possible before meeting the Black Rabbit. With so menny Bunnies in Shelters and being dumped afta Easter, we don't *need* to be doing that. Spaying and Neutering are Important to Living Assa Urban HouzRabbit.

So Our Warren supports Mandatory Spaying and Neutering for Companion Animals. We support Good Training and Responsible Care. We support Humane Practices and Diggity for All Species - yeah, ebben for Catz.

Every Life is Precious.

And we Believe in This.

-------------------------------------- by George.


Posted by Our Warren at 7:46 AM EST
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Thursday, 28 February 2008
George's 2008 Second Strand: Day Number 28
Now Playing: More Wedder

 

Maman seems to like Wedder. Well, not LIKE it, but she sure observes it as it happins. It makes her head hurt most obba time, so she tends to know Whut's Gonna Happin even bifore it does.

So we getta lotta Wedder Reports Around Heer.

And we watch Wedder Reports frumma Bow-Tie Wedder Guy (click on it!) and Udder Places, too.

We like maps. We like Knowing Whut's Coming.

We like Sunny Days and we like Rain Days and Snow Days when we can curl up and snooze all day long! We aren't too keen on Thunder, onna'count obba Fakt it makes MissyBun jump, and we aren't too thrilled with Bright Lightning, either, but as Maman said to us as she was Folding Laundry, you Can't Hab Ebberyfing. Sumtimes, *Stuff* Just Happins.

Like Wedder.

So tiday we are having Bright SunShine.

Maman waked up bifore Dawn, while it still Looked Like Dark, and she watched the Moon Set and Wondered To Alla Us Togedder how-come Dawn In Noo Joisey was never as lovely as it was in Inkland.

And I said I didn't know onna'count obba Fakt I have never been enny place else besides Noo Joisey.

And Maman said that where she lived in Inkland, there were mists that rose above the wadder, then vanished inna sun, and showers bifore dawn, and opalescent grey skies giving way to colours like only rilly bad artists used, that nobun believed had ever been seen in Nature bifore. She said that sumtimes there were Sheep Onna Road, too, onna'count obba Fakt that the roads were black and absorbed the heat-obba-day, so the sheep would come down frumma Hills and sleep on them during the cold-obba-nights. And then when she would come along on her way to werk, she would have to be careful driving.

It sounded inner'resting. But there is "inner'resting" when you hear about it and "too inner'resting" when you have to live innit, lemme tell you!

I prefer just "inner'resting" to hear about, fanks.

Tiday's entry is gonna be short - for which I apologise - but ebberyfing is onna'count obba Wedder. For Right Now, Alla Us Togedder have gotta "make hay while the SUN shines!" onna'count obba Fakt there is gonna be RAIN tomorrow!

------------------------- By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 9:40 AM EST
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Tuesday, 26 February 2008
George's 2008 Second Strand: Day Number 26
Now Playing: Get Ready To Grab On!

Hokay. It's Time To Get Ready.

It's Been Pancake Tuesday and Ash Wednesday, so that means that it is now Lent, and the Beginning of the Easter Season.

That means it's getting to be Time for Wunna The Most Important Campaigns Inna Werld To ME - Make Mine Chocolate!

That's Right!

It's coming up onna Time when I tell the story of Willow, the Easter Bunny NoBunny Wanted, and the Story of Me, George the Easter-Dumped Bunny!

Yeah.

Both are Very Sad Stories that have Very Happy Endings.

But they could have had Very Sad Endings, and for Thousands of Bunnies THIS YEAR, the Ending to THEIR stories could be Very Sad Indeed.

So every year, I tell these two stories, and then I tell about "Make Mine Chocolate!" so that EveryBunny will know that Bunnies are NOT TOYS to be Bought At Easter!

You get a BUNNY and you are saving a life and getting a Companion Animal with whom to share your life.

You buy a FLUFFY TOY and you are getting a fluffy toy for Easter.

Let's not Be Stoopit about this. As Maman says, "Ignorance is Curable, but Stupidity is Terminal."

So we heer at Our Warren aim to help Prevent Ignorance by providing Information about Living Assa Urban Rabbit in this The Hay Diaries blog, and how Not To Be Stoopit about HouzRabbits.

But this is the Time Of Year when hoomins tend to get Stoopit about Rabbits. For some reason, perfectly kind hoomins see some unethical pet-store that has poor baby bunnies set out OnAlone inna window or sumfing, and they fink, "Oh Aren't They Cute! I wanna bunny to hold on Easter!"

Yeah.

And they Totally Fortyged that those poor liddle bunnies are all OnAlone away frum their mawmies. They don't know the Furst Fing about being HouzRabbits. They are tiny and skert in ways you can't imagine and there they are, trapped in glass, wif no Way Out! They don't know how to pootie in boxes, or how not to scratch or use toofies, and many times, they are not spayed or neutered, and so they have alla these hormones running all through their bodies that they don't know whut to do with! They don't know about Not Spraying, and they don't know about how to Have Hoomins At All!

So they Grow Up, and the hoomins oftin don't know why their Cuddly, soft baby bunnies don't stay as liddle baby bunnies. And then they have Big Bunnies who are OnAlone and still Very Scared and EveryBunny is Unhappy and Afraid. EveryBun is still OnAlone, with nobunny wanting ennybunny and everybunny needing sumbunny!

And do you know Whut Else Is Horribul? Sumtimes, if they are Not Sold at Easter-Time, the baby bunnies lose their Cute and are let loose with terrifying snakes to be hunted down and killed for food.

Yeah. Right in that pet-store.

So the BEST THING is that pet stores never get baby bunnies inna Furst Place. And if there is No Wun to Buy Baby Bunnies, then no pet-store will get them to be bought. See Whut I Mean?

Yeah. Maman calls that "Basic Economics": no demand, no supply. 

Sum Hoomins, for Sum Reason are driven, Maman says, by an Irrashunal Desire for *More Munny*. She says that this Irrashunal Desire for More Munny is called "Greed", although sumtimes hoomins who suffer frum the Irashunal Desire will give it Udder Names just to Prove to Themselves that they are not "Greedy".

Maman and Dadda were talking about This the Udder Night. Maman said that Heer at Our Warren we are going to "Go Back" to "Tradishunal Fasts" and Dadda said that there was Nothing Tradishunal in his tradishun about This Fast Fing. So Maman hadda Whole Big Discushion about Evil Being Sneaky.

Yeah.

I couldn't follow alla it, but as with most Fings Maman gets Started On, I'm preddy sure we'll be hearing More About It in dif'frunt ways for A While.

Dadda says Maman picks atta Philosophical Argumint like udder hoomins pick atta loose end onna sweater - they can't leave it alone until the whole knitting has come unraveled and they can see alla yarn and reknit the sweater.

Now Maman and Laura are buying these Big Balls of Yarn and talking about knitting and patterns and stuff, and just Yestidday, Laura was heer showing Maman sum squares that she had "knitted".

So I hadda look, and far as I can tell, "Knitting" is just tying Wun Big Knot with sticks.

Yeah.

You get a ball of coloured string, and go sit down with it and start tying knots, and preddy soon, you got a whole fing that is made outta knots. And that's "Knitting". When you have tied enuf knots, you have a long fing that issa scarf to wind around a hoomin neck to keep outta Cold Drafts. Bunnies don't need them onna'count obba Fakt we have fur. If hoomins still had fur, they wouldn't need to Tie Knots With Sticks, but there you are.

So ennyways, when you tie the wrong kind of knot, you have to "tear it out" by pulling onna loose end obba string. Since Laura is just learning how to Make Knots With Sticks and Gets Upset When She Makes A Mistake, she tears stuff out. Maman says that there are ways to Fix Fings without Tearing It All Out, but I dunno, onna'count obba Fakt that every time I go over to habba look atta ball of yarn, Maman starts telling me, "Oh no you don't, George!" and mooves me Sum Place Else, like frumma sofa inna Sitting Room to Missy-and-my habbytat inna BunRoom.

Maman says I'm going to pull onna knitting, which is Not Troo, hextactly. So far, I'm just looking, but, ennyways...

So Dadda says that Maman's Discushions about Evil Being Sneaky are like "Knitting" - a Series of Fings Strung Togedder, with Wun Fing That Leads To Anudder, I guess. (But I was only Looking!)

So that having baby bunnies inna pet store leads to hoomins just buying baby bunnies frumma pet store. And then bringing the baby bunnies home, leads to having the baby bunnies grow innu big bunnies that the hoomins don't know Whut To Do With.

And so the poor bunnies get Sent Out OnAlone inna park, or beside a highway, or inna woods where they die, or they are left outside and forgotten in hutches or in basements where they die, or they are fed to snakes for dinner, or they are dangled by their ears over the heads of fighting dawgs to teach them to murder, or they are put in boxes and left outside shelters - or the few, lucky ones are adopted innu forebber homes - but these are always only the very few.

Most Easter Dump Bunnies have short, terrible, lives, full of fear and sadness.

So Wun Evil Leads to Anudder Evil, and all the Evils are Knitted Togedder inna long string that needs to be Torn Out Frumma Beginning.

And I Know because I was Trapped in This Evil and got rescued. So I tell Whut Happened to Willow and Whut Happened to Me every year at Easter Time, and I tell about the "Make Mine Chocolate" campaign, so that mebbe I can help Begin Tearing Out Evil.

And it's Time for me to Get Busy and Start Again, This Year.

So Remember - Start Unraveling Evil - "Make Mine Chocolate!" Please visit the web-site, join the campaign!.

Take hold obba string and please start pulling with me!

-------------------------------------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 9:06 AM EST
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Saturday, 23 February 2008
George's 2008 Second Strand: Day Number 23
Now Playing: I Was Wrong

Yeah. I know I said it.

And I was wrong.

Stuff happins in February.

It's been happining it ever since I said "There is Nothing Going On Around Heer" and now it has Gotten Worse... lemme tell you.

The Other Night, Maman let me watch the NBC10 News Atta 11 onna television with her and Dadda.

Now this show has led to All Kinda Stuff happining in Our Warren, inklooding Mr Mouse's "Obsession" (whut Maman calls it) with Law & Order and his becoming an ADA like Our Auntie Michelle (who is Judge Rudy Esquehare's and Pumpkin's mawmie anna Suffolk County, Noo Yawk's "Go-to" person to prosecute Animal abusers!). Maman says that if she had not accidentally turned onna NBC10 News Atta 11 early, she would not have found Law & Order, and Mr Mouse would not have heard the "plink-plink" pizzacatto scene-change music, and he never would have started 'miring Jack McCoy and wanting to be like him and alla *that* stuff - and Maman would not have Had To Get Verizon FIOS and found out that there are television stations that run Law & Order marrythons that run almost non-stop with No Breaks At All!

Mr Mouse says that if Maman hadn't been inna habit of watching NBC10 News Atta 11 and turned it on early so that Mouse had heard the "plink-plink" Law & Order scene-change music and recognised it frum his life with his former friend, The Guy Frum Liberia, he wouldn't have bothered to resume studying to pass The Salad Bar in Noo Joisey and not become an Advocate for HouzRabbits Everywheres. And he nebber would have become a Political Animal and considered voting for Fred Thompson, or werking to Influence Dadda to engage in Animal Friendly Advertising Practices or employing an Animal-Friendly Atturney or enny of *that* stuff, either.

So all-in-all, Maman watching NBC10 News Atta 11 has had sorta Far-Reaching ConSeeQuences for Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren.

Ennyways...

I got to watch NBC10 News Atta 11 and they had this story on about A Study Has Found That Having A Cat Adds Years To Your Life.

And the major point to this story was that sum scientific person sumwhere had done a "study" that "proved" that having a Cat living assa Companion Animal  with a hoomin caused the hoomin to live longer. (Please note that nothing was reported onna Cat. This is important!)

So ennyways, just about the same time as this new report was happining, Da Dawg came rushing innu the Sitting Room, all Werried and Anxious. And he rushed up to Dadda and stuck his nose innu Dadda's hand that was holding his Big Tea Cup.

And Dadda was like, "Whut's up with you, Doggo?"

Anna Dawg was like, "Ohmigosh! Come look! Ohmigosh!"

And Maman, who doesn't have a rilly good grasp of Canine, said to Dadda, "Mebbe he has to go Out On Patrol?"

Well, even I know you don't say the Inkwish werd "out" around Da Dawg, onna'count obba Fakt he will instantly want to go there.

And sure enough, Da Dawg's ears went up and he looked at Maman, but then you could see anudder throught go racing acrosst his brain, behind his eyes and out his ears, and he turned back to Dadda and started up with the "Ohmigosh!" thing again.

And Dadda said to Maman, "I don't think that's it."

Anna Dawg began doing his shifting-paw-to-paw-hextited-shuffle thing and buried his nose further innu Dadda's hand, almost upsetting his Big Tea Cup.

So Right About Then, Cokie-the-Fat-Cat strolled innu the Sitting Room, waving his tail like a big, bushy flag, like he was all kinds of proud of himself. And he sat down nextest to Da Dawg and said to Dadda:

"Beep was bad."

Anna Dawg saw Cokie, got even more Anxious and bumped harder innu Dadda's hand, splashing out summa the tea. Anna drop or two landed on Cokie's head.

So, of course, Dadda went, "Marc!" anna Dawg was like, "Whut?" and Cokie glared, shifted his weight and took a swipe atta Dawg.

Now ennybunny could see that it wasn't much of a swipe, but Maman rilly gets upset when there are Claws Out and there issa BunnyRabbit inna Room, namely me.

So Maman reached across and bopped Cokie onna head and said, "No Claws! That was mean, Cokie!" inna Very Cross Tone.

And Dadda said, "It was the Dawg's Fault. He bumped my hand and splashed tea onna Cat's head."

And Maman was like, "Well, Cokie provoked him by making Marc feel insecure."

Anna Dawg snapped, "Yeah." but Maman wasn't looking.

And Cokie was like, "Whutthe?" and stuck a claw innu Dadda's trouser leg to get his 'tenshun and report he had been Snapped At.

And Dadda was like, "You better mind your p's and q's, son." to the Cokie-Cat, which kind of raised his Aggrivation Factor with Da Dawg onna'count obba Fakt Cokie was Getting Blamed For Sumfing While Being The Injured Party!

Besides which, the Whole Conversation Wasn't Going His Way.

But I was all innerested in Whut Cokie had Said Furst Off, so I turned my ears and hadda look downnaHall and I could just see Beep-the-Udder-Cat making a slinky-exit frumma BafRoom.

And I was like, "Now this is innerestin'."

Now Maman is not good at Canine and she is rilly bad at Feline, but she is preddy proficient in Lagomorphin, so she picked up on my body-language fast and looked downnaHallway just in time to see Whut I Saw, which was Beep slinking downnaHallway, looking *rilly* Guilty-As-Sin.

And Maman was like, "Uh, Brian?"

And Dadda was like, "Whut?"

And Maman said, "Do you remember how I said when the Washing Machine had that plumbing problem that I'd sorted the clothes into piles and left them on the Bathroom floor because I couldn't wash them because the Washing Machine wouldn't work until you fixed the plumbing?"

And Dadda said, "I fixed the plumbing, dear."

And Maman was like, "Yeah, I know that. And everything werks *rilly* well now. But I had to re-wash the towels, and that left the dark things that didn't get done still sitting on the Bathroom floor because I had to do the light things, first."

And I knew enough hoomin to see the "Get-to-the-point-sweetheart" look on Dadda's face. Everybunny who has ever had ennyfing to do with Maman gets that look on their face eventchually, so I know it when I see it, lemme tell you.

But Maman, being Whut Is Called "Oblivious", went on, "So the dark things aren't done yet. They're still in a pile on the Bathroom floor. And you know, your jeans are 'dark things' so they're in that pile. On the Bathroom floor. And I think that's Whut Marc Is Saying - that Beep is just walking out of the Bathroom..."

And right as she said *that*, Dadda jumped up offa the sofa, bowled over both Da Dawg anna Cokie-Cat and went running innu the Bafroom.

Then he came out. Anna Dawg joined him inna Hallway - looking suddinly all Self-important and Highly Indignant - and Dadda yelled,

"BEEP! YOU JUST LOST ONE OF YOUR NINE LIVES!"

And Maman grabbed on to me like sumfing horrybul was gonna happin.

Which was just assa Cokie-Cat got up frum where he landed inna middle of the Sitting Room.

And Cokie was, like, "Cool. Sumbunny's Gettin' In Trubble . I'm gonna go watch." and he started off downnaHallway to join Da Dawg and Dadda as they thundered through the Dining Room togedder. 

Meanwhile, I heard Beep legging it Uppystairs wif Dadda anna Dawg in hot-pursoot.

So Preddy Soon, Dadda came back innu the Sitting Room, and he hadda Dawg with him (still acting all Self-Important and Highly Indignant) and Dadda said to Maman (without looking at her),

"I know we rescued both of those Catz."

And Maman nodded (without looking at him). And I could tell frumma way that she was holding on that she was being Very Protective Of Me.

And Dadda continued, "And I know that we made a life-time commitment to care for them."

And Maman nodded again, and sorta held on to me more tightly. So I waggled my ears to let her know that, you know, hey wady, sumbunny has gotta breathe down heer...

And Dadda went on, "But so help me, if that Cat"

And I knew he meant Beep, not Cokie.

And Dadda took a deep breath, "If that Cat pees outside of her litter-box one more time - ESPECIALLY ON MY JEANS,"

And Maman, still staring straight ahead atta television and holding on to me for dear-life, nodded.

"That cat is going to enjoy a very short life."

So Whut I Want To Tell NBC10 New Atta 11 is that they need to do a follow-up story on this whole Having Cats Adds Years To Your Life fing. Because I suspect that while hoomins may enjoy an increased life-span frum sharing their lives with Catz, I am not too sure about the life-span obba Catz, For Wun Fing.

And sumbunny bedda check the figgers aboudda Increased Hoomin Aggrivation Factors While Living With Catz, too, lemme tell you!

Onna'count obba Fakt that I was wrong, and Stuff does happin around heer in Feburary!

------------------------------------------ By George


Posted by Our Warren at 3:14 PM EST
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Thursday, 21 February 2008
George's 2008 Second Strand: Day Number 21
Now Playing: Somefing Finally Happined

You know how I typed that February issa Boring Time to be typing the Hay Diaries blog onna'count obba Fakt that nothing ebber happins in February?

Yeah.

Well, I was wrong, lemme tell you.

Ennyways...it was not my fault.

Yestidday Maman gave Alla Us Togedder our Baby Organic Carrots and then she came back innu the BunRoom with a big armload of towels. And she stuffed alla them innu the washing machine, turned onna wadder and watched that for awhile while she was talking to Us, and she was, like,

"Lookit, we're gonna do laundry tiday. If we don't do it now, Phil will arrive and take over the washing machine and I'll not see it again bifore your Dadda runs outta socks, so I'm getting in a Head Start."

And I'm sitting in my Finking Spot, watching her, and I'm, like, "Hokay. Well, Good Luck with that, but those don't look like Dadda's socks you got in there."

And Maman went on, "So I'm gonna do this load of towels, then put them inna Dryer, and when they're done, then we can all fold towels together. Won't that be fun?"

And right about then, Da Dawg shows up with Wunna His Balls and axts Maman to come on out inna Back Gardin and Play. And Maman was like, "How many times have I told you? I'm not out here to Play Ball With You, Dawg! Go lie down!"

So Da Dawg dropped his ball nextest to Missy-and-My Habbytat and told Maman he hadda go Out On Patrol.

And Maman told him to "Go Lie Down!" onna'count obba Fakt that he'd "Just come in, damnit!" But Da Dawg said it wassa'Mergency, so Maman gave in and afta a Brief Struggle with the Door, managed to Let Him Out - where he stood onna Back Porch Steps, looking over his shoulder at her, axting her to Bring The Ball and Come On Out.

And Maman said unner her breath, "Stoopit Dawg. He does this to me every time I do the laundry!"

And I was like, "Well, you fall for it. I mean, I can't rilly blame him for trying..."

And Maman managed to focus in on me and said, "Shaddup, George."

And I was like, "Shutting up now..." and returned to Finking that Belinda Bunny was Right - Onna'count obba Fakt you can't have Too Good A Grasp Onna Obvious around Maman: it tends to 'Nnoy her.

So Maman struggled wiffa Back Door, got it Opin again and told Da Dawg, "Get in heer." and he did, acting all Waggy and somewhut ashamed because she'd caught him catching her out.

And Maman went off Uppystairs to do summa her "Werk".

So the Washing Machine was going, making it's usual noises, sloshing wadder around and humming and clicking to itself. And everyfing was Preddy Boring, with the towels gedding washed so Maman could make a start on Dadda's socks bifore Phil arrived and took over the Washing Machine. Da Dawg went innu Dining Room and lay down near to his Baskit Ob Balls, just in case sumbunny came that way and felt like Playing With Him.

So I stayed in my Finking Spot, sorta napping, and Missy dozed nextest to me, whin suddinly Little Foxie piped up frum her habbytat unner Dusty and said, 

"Hey, George..."

And I was like, "Whut?"

And Foxie said, "George, did you just miss the pootie-pan inna big way?"

And I was like, "Um, no. Why?"

And Foxie was like, "Look ober heer. Onna'count obba Fakt I gotta lotta hay going past..." and then she went, "Whaaa!" and *THUMPED* as loud as Wun Teeny Bunny can *thump*.

So of course, I jumped right up and hadda look over the side of the Habbytat - and so did Mr Mouse and Dusty and Missy - and we saw this huge, spreading pool of wadder that was rushing right past Foxie!

Well, I am the TopBun of Our Warren, but Mr Mouse was On Daytime 'Lert while Dusty was catching up on his sleep, but none of that mattered onna'count obba Fakt this was a 'Mergency.

So I was like, "Call Da Dawg! We need help!"

So Alla Us Togedder began to *THUMP* anna Dawg came, got his paws wet inna pool of Wadder and he was like, "This shouldn't be heer." because Border-Collies have a Great Grasp Obba Obvious, too.

And I was like, "Go get Dadda!"

So Da Dawg ran off and pretty soon we heard Dadda telling Da Dawg that he was "NOT PLAYING BALL!"

Anna Dawg, for whom the point of his getting Dadda quickly vanished over the top of his head like a stealth bomber, went, "Ball? You wanna play ball, NOW? Well... hokay!".

So I yelled frumma BunRoom, "Nooo, Stoopit!"

And then I heard Dadda say, "Or do you have to go out, son?"

Anna Dawg, who hassa Wun Track Brain is now alla'Lert onna'count obba Fakt he heard the werd "ball" began to bounce and get waggy, was like, "Ball? Outside? Yeah!"

So I yelled, "It's the Wadder! Tell him aboudda Wadder!" and kept *THUMPING* for all I was worth.

And then I heard Dadda walking frumma BedRoom, anna Dawg was dancing along beside him, and then Dadda said, "I wonder whut's up with George and the bunnies?"

But the Dawg was still fixated onna whole "Ball" Issue, and wasn't much help.

So I *THUMPED* some more and Alla Us Togedder yelled "Wadder! Help!"

And Dadda walked innu the Kitchen and saw Hay floating past Foxie.

And he knew right away that sumfing *RILLY BAD* had happined.

So he got sum Kitchen Roll and began wiping uppa floor, and eventually wiped up back far enough that he hadda whole roll of Kitchin Roll soaked with Wadder and the Washing Machine still had more Wadder in it.

So Dadda said sum Bad Werds in Anglo-Saxon that I am not Allowed To Type.

And THEN HE MOVED THE SALAD BANK!

And I was standing there, and *THUMPING* and I'm like, "NOOOOOOO!"

But he moved the Salad Bank Ennyways!

And do you know Whut? There wassa Hole-inna-Floor behind the Salad Bank that hadda Ring-Innit! And Dadda pulled the Ring-Inna-Floor, and up came a Part-Obba-Floor!

And Dadda looked downna Hole-Inna-Floor and then, he turned around, and walked outta the BunRoom and LEFT US THERE!

And Mouse, who was closest toda Hole-Inna-Floor was like, "We're all gonna die."

And I was like, "Is ennyfing coming up frum Down There?"

And Mouse said, "I fink I smell Cellar, like when Phil goes downnaUdderstairs to get stuff frum Maman's Pantry."

And Missy was like, "Well, we ain't gonna die of Cellar." and she went to Occupy the High Ground, onna'count obba Fakt that's Whut Does Do when they take a Defensive Stand for the Warren.

So Dadda came back with Maman and they stood looking atta Washing Machine, and they looked Grim.

And Dadda said to Maman. "I'm going to call Phil and we will replace the drain."

And Maman axted, "The Whole Drain?"

And I was like, "Whutebber *that* is."

And Dadda said, "Yes. The Whole Drain."

And Maman said, "Hokay. We are choiceless, onna'count obba Fakt that we need the Washing Machine - or you will be without socks!"

So Phil came over. And Phil looked down the Hole-Inna-Floor and said, "Well, I been shoved innu smaller holes than that inna Navy."

And Maman said, "That's because you fell Rear-End-Furst through a cargo-net."

And Phil looked at her and said, "At least I fit." and went off with Dadda.

So Phil went DownnaHole-inna-Floor.

And preddy soon, Dadda said, "Well, we gotta move the Bunnies Outta Heer."

And I was like, "Hold on."

But nobunny was listening, and inna few minits, Alla Us Togedder were pushed outta Our BunRoom and innu the DiningRoom. And Phil put the Partition between Mr Mouse and me and said we weren't to "Start Ennyfing", which was preddy stoopit, because there was Dusty not five feet away and he was like, "Noo Terrytory! MINE!"

So I was like, "Nope. Mine." and I carefully got innu the pootie-box and aimed High frumma High Ground. The fing is that Dusty doesn't know about aiming onna'count obba Fakt he is a YoungBun. So I won: I peed over the side and it went onnu Maman's Kitchin Floor.

And just as I figgered, Da Dawg came through on his way toda Back Door and to have a look DownnaHole-inna-Floor at Phil, and tracked through Whut I Did and carried sum right accrost the Kitchin, alla way innu the BunRoom.

So that was settled.

So Most Obba Day was spent with Phil DownnaHole-Inna-Floor and Dadda running up-and-down the Cellar Stairs.

Maman mostly stayed outta the way.

So when it finally was Late and Dark arrived and Phil had gone home, Dadda moved the Salad Bank back where it belonged, and Maman and Dadda mooved Alla Us Togedder back innu The BunRoom.

And Maman saw sumfing onna Kitchin Floor and she said to Dadda, "Okay, who did *this*? Because, look, the Dawg tracked it all over the place!"

And Dadda looked and he thought for a momint and then he said, "Well, George and Missy were there."

And Maman said, "Didn't enyone put uppa Partition?"

And Dadda said, "Well, between Mouse and George."

And Maman said, "Lookit, George and Mouse don't have a problem. It's George and Dusty."

And Dadda said, "But Dusty was all the way in the Dining Room and George was in the Kitchen. Besides, maybe it was Missy."

And Maman said, "Missy doesn't aim. George aims. And see? This was aimed right where the Dawg would come through and track it all over Hell and Creation."

And I was like, "No, only innu the BunRoom to show Who Is TopBun, onna'count obba Fakt the Wadder washed alla Right Smells Away."

And Maman was like, "It was George. I know it was George. GEORGE! What happined? Whut have you done? George! How *COULD* you?"

And I was like, "Whut?"

Onna'count obba Fakt that it's not my fault that Sumfing finally happined in February.

---------------------------------------- by George

 

!


Posted by Our Warren at 1:09 PM EST
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Wednesday, 20 February 2008
George's 2008 Second Strand: Day Number 20
Now Playing: Tiny Protest

I wanna type a protest.

A teeny, tiny protest. *flounce*

It's frumma teeny, tiny bunny inna Habbytat Ober Heer that EveryBunny passes by, onna'count obba Fakt that Mr Mouse is feeling Way Too 'Titled, and he Won't Bond!

Uh huh!

*hop-bink*

See, the Fing is...

He won't bond! And *I* will bond. Onna'count obba Fakt that I am Very Teeny-Tiny and Cute. Dadda says so. He calls me "Princess" even though my name is "Foxie" (because I gotta pointed little face!) but he calls me "Princess" because I am so Totally and Adorably, Unbearably Cute!

And I am Nice. Even if I do nippy-nibbly-nibble onna finger or two oncest inna'while, very rarely. *stare*

Unlike Mr Mouse who is a 'Titled Little Grump. *twirl*

And Everybunny passes by me, Inklooding Da Dawg.

So howcome Da Dawg has this huge, big, Great-Big-Whopping-Waggy Furry Tail? And howcome, when he goes by my habbytat, does he feel he hasta bang his Great-Big-Whopping-Waggy Tail uppagainst My Habbytat? *sulk*

I keep trying to get ahold obba Waggy-Tail with my toofies and I can't, onna'count obba way it whips in-and-outta heer like Summer Rain: flip, it's in - whip, it's gone!.

I mean, I know when he's whipping that Waggy-Tail in-and-outta heer Da Dawg is inna Good Mood and he's sharing all his "Happy-Dawg" all over the place with everybun and everyfing, but, you know - *butt-waggle* - he's a pest. Just like Dadda says, Da Dawg issa pest. A smiley, don't-mean-ya-enny-harm pest, but a pest alla'same. And that waggy, pesky tail! Allus going in-and-outta my habbytat...

Which wouldn't be happining if Mr Mouse didn't go around feeling all 'Titled and would axtchually bond with me. *twinkly-bink*

If he would just "share" as Maman says, instead of insisting that he "owns" ebberyfing. *bat-eye-lashes* For all he's a lawyer and everyfing, he hasn't figgered out that it's Alla Us Togedder and nobunny owns ennyfing at all. And That's Whut Missy Said. *stare* And Missy Should Know onna'count obba Fakt that she is Almost An *Elder Bun*, but Not Quite.

But she knows a Whole Lotta Fings. And if you don't believe me, axt George.

Do you know that MissyBun has been heer at Our Warren even longer than George?

Uh huh. *twirl* She came to Our Warren Furst. Then George-Inna-Box, then Mr Mouse and then Dusty-and-Me. Only Missy, George and Mr Mouse bemember The Old Houz. Well, them and The Cokie-Cat. And Da Dawg sorta bemembers it onna'count obba Fakt that he lived inna Old Houz a Little While bifore he came to live heer with Maman's mawmie bifore she went to the Rainbow Bridge. But Dusty, Beep-the-Udder-Cat and I Never Lived At the Old Houz. We only know *this* Houz.

Uh huh, and *I* would bond with Mr Mouse onna'count obba Fakt that he issa lawyer and alla that stuff, and I am a Very Nice and Cute and Teeny-Tiny Teacup Inkwish Spot BunnyRabbit. *hop-binky* And Mouse is cute even if he is old by HouzRabbit Standards. He is going to be Ten! Ten! That's Way Older Than George! Even Older than Missy!

Oops.

Um, well, not older than Da Dawg, though, but the Dawg is ninety-wun in Dawg Years . And Dadda says that Da Dawg has Genuine Senior Momints, too. So he's *rilly* old! *blink* And Cokie-the-Fat-Cat is, like, ten or sumfing, which is almost as old as Phil's Empress KayCee Kitty who is TwelveYears Old! And because she is Twelve Years Old she gets away with Ebberyfing At His Houz! (Shhhh...she peed on his pillow onna'count obba Fakt that she didn't like him giving off gurlfriend cootie-vibes! *bunny-giggle* Empress KayCee issa Very Jellyus Kitty Gurl! But Shhhh! Don't tell!) 

Uh huh. *bounce*

And I would like to be bonded onna'count obba Fakt I don't see why I should be living in this Hospiddle Habbytat, as Maman calls it, where Da Dawg comes by and bangs his Whopping-Great-Furry Tail innuit onna'count obba Fakt he's a happy-Dawg. I mean, that sucks! And I can't grab the Waggy-Tail onna'count obba Fakt that the Waggy-Tail goes in-and-outta heer sooooo fast! *pount* Which is unfair. I should be able to grab on and pull it. Hard. *glare*

But if I was bonded, then I could live up *there* in Mr Mouse's habbytat, if he wasn't Feeling so 'Titled alla'time. I could axt Maman to move alla my Cool Toys, and my Hay Box and my Pootie-box and my Rolly-Bell-Balls up there, too. You know, my Cool Toys are rilly parrot-toys, but I like 'em onna'count obba Fakt they're hangy toys. Mouse doesn't have enny hangy-toys, but I do, and I like to stand up and box at them sumtimes. They are kinda fun. Speshully the wun with the bell on. Uh huh. *bink*

But Mr Mouse won't let me outta The Pootie box when Maman tells him he hasta Share With Me. He shares everything when we are inna Hallway, or onna ScreenPorch, or inna BunPen, or inna BafRoom - but he won't share his habbytat, even afta Dadda and Phil 'bout Froze Their (can't say that werd? Howcome? They said it! Why can't I? Oh, all right! Nebber mind. I won't type it. George, you are such a sissy!) When They About Froze To Death cleaning and washing Mr Mouse's habbytat so it wouldn't smell like Mr Mouse. (There. Hozzat?)  *flounce*

But Mr Mouse *still* wouldn't share with me, although he does a little bit of the grooming Fing if I stick my head alla way up his... (Whut? Whuttayamean I can't type that werd eidder'? Whut is this, censorship? I'm gonna tell Maman on you, George BunnyRabbit!) Well, I did! And Mr Mouse did groom me a little bit and I groomed him back and there was sum half-hearted humping-for-dominance that he wasn't rilly into, but that he did to Keep Up Appearances.

Uh huh *binky-hop* But we aren't bonded and Maman said she doesn't "trust" Mr Mouse to be nice to me onna Reg'lar Basis. Onna'count obba Fakt he is feeling 'Titled.

So then Dadda piks me up. Because I am Soooooo Such A Nice Bunny! And heer I was holding on, lemme tell you! And Dadda said it was "Cute" how I was hanging on to his collar and pulling myself up on his shoulder.

Uh huh. *nose-twitch* YOU trying being the size obba over-grown hamster and sumbunny has you six feets offa floor! Geez! Talk about skert! Of COURSE I WAS HANGIN' ON! It's a LONG WAY DOWN TODA FLOOR Frum The Top Ob Dadda's Shoulder! I'd be a nut-case if I wasn't hanging on for dear life!

Uh huh. *blink* But Dadda doesn't know "snuggle" frum "terror", which is lucky for me onna'count obba Fakt he finks I'm Adorably Snuggly.

Maman says I amma Minnyachur Edishun of Belinda Bunny in Grey. Uh huh. A Teacup Inkwish Spot BunnyRabbit. Dadda says I have Cute Bunnitude. *Periscope*

Axtchually, I can box and *grunt* just like Mr Mouse only better onna'count obba Fakt I am Teeny and Cute. I am even Teenier Than Mouse. He is Small. I am Teeny. Uh huh.

Mr Mouse is old and grumpy. I am tiny and feisty. *bink* And I can popcorn all over the place, and go *rilly*, *RILLY* fast! And so fast that nobun can catch me! Wheeee!  *binky-binky-bink!* But, mostly I get stuck in corners onna'count obba Fakt that I can't figger out how to get outta'em. *bop-hopTwo walls, wun Dadda - that preddy much cuts down on your number of available exits.

But still. *blink*

This issa protest by a teeny, tiny bunny.

There is Too Much Happy-Waggy Dawg Tail and Too Much Going By My Habbytat. I demand *thump* that I get bonded! Right Away!

Bond me!

Bond me!

Bond me!

Uh huh! *bounce-thump-foot-flick*

So if Mr Mouse won't share, howa'bout I share wif Dusty? Hey Dusty! *stare* You got room up there! Moove over, Bunny! I wanna share!

----------------------------------- By Foxie (with George)


Posted by Our Warren at 10:01 AM EST
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Tuesday, 19 February 2008
George's 2008 Second Strand: Day Number 19
Now Playing: Boring!

It is hard to come up with Fings to type about in February!

Everything is the Same!

I guess that is good inna way, onna'count obba Fakt that Maman says being bored means that Nothing Has Gone Wrong Yet.

I can kinda see her point.

And, being a Bunny, I like things to roll along onna Reg'lar Basis, with Treats coming at their Proper Times and Salad Time arriving When It Should. There are some fings a Bunny Needs to Depend Upon!

But Onna'Udder Paw, it makes it so that I don't have much to type about inna Hay Diaries Blog every day. I mean, who wants to hear that the Biggest Fing inna Day is that Dadda went off to Township Hall to axt them why The Tax Office can't figger out Who Own The Houz? The Tax Office keeps finking it's Maman's Dadda (who was Our Bim) and Mawmie, but they have gone on to the Rainbow Bridge Years Ago, and Maman had that Bob-the-Lawyer-Guy (Who Hassa Goldfish) give them papers that said so and everyfing - but according to Dadda, the Tax Office still doesn't Get It. Maman says they could at least make her et ux, or even et filia  but they won't even do *that*. It's like after eight years they have never heard of  Maman - with or without her legal, married name, like mebbe they are listening to gossip mongrels again or sumfing

As Missy said, all they have to do is to go down to Saint Luke's and look inna Register, and ennyways, here is a pikchur that was taken onna porch of Saint Luke's Church on Saturday, 9 September, 2000 of  me,Hunny-and-Maggie in their baskets as Weddingbunnies, happining right inna Township and not sumwhere in Inkland or enny place else, and *that* is Right Inna Lore - and you don't fink Maggie-and-me,Hunny would bother to be tricked out like that for enny wedding other than Maman's and Dadda's, do you?

So Dadda is gonna go axt them In Person WhutssamattaWiff'em.

And with the Tax Office Guy saying They Can Never Be Wrong and Dadda Knowing That He Is Right, this Should Be Inner'restin', Maman says.

The Fakt obba matter issat the taxes are allus paid, and Maman should know onna'count obba Fakt that she has been paying them since Seven Years Ago for her Mawmie when her Mawmie was sick. As Maman says, "As long as the taxes are paid and the township gets munny, they don't care *who* signs the cheque."

Which seems to be Troo.

Now Our Mayor lives in Our Neighbourhood. I fink he hassa Dawg. I don't hold this against him onna'count obba Fakt a lot of Perfectly Nice Neighbours have Dawgs living in their homes. MaryBethNextestDoor has two dawgs, Lilly and Penny who are Nice Dawgs and she is a Perfectly Nice Neighbour!

Whut bothers me is Catz that used to be Indoor Catz that sumbunny has left to be Outdoor Catz. Now they are running wild all over the place, with no homes of their own, no food of their own, no wadder bowls and no Roolz. Sum obba Catz even have the Nerve to come innu Our Back Gardin! They are all OnAlone with nobunny to care for and nobunny to care about them! Once they had homes and people, but now they are just kicked out to live or die on their onliest!

Can you believe that?

Yeah.

And so they are out there - strange Catz in Our Gardin.

Sumbunny just isn't taking responsibility for them and has let them go. Now they are becoming Feral, and they are running through alla Back Gardins, killing off birds and squirrels, and sneaking through the bushes.

And the most horribul part issat there usta be a Liddle Cottontail Bunny living unner'neaf obba Frunt Porch. She only lived inna Frunt Yard, onna'count obba Fakt that Maman used pooties onna Back Gardin and the Little Cottontail Bunny was too well-mannered to invade anudder bunny's terrytory. And Maman usta put out clean wadder for the Little Cottontail Bunny and summa Our Hay and Our Pellets for her, too. 

But then the Irresponsible People let their Catz run free inna neighbourhood.

And although Maman and Dadda both chased the catz away frumma Frunt Gardin, the Little Cottontail Bunny hasn't been seen again.

So Maman is VERY sad and angry that there are alla these Catz running around through the back gardins, hunting and killing and looking for fings to eat because their owners are irresponsible and fink if their cat hunts a Little Cottontail Bunny, "It's Just A Bunny."

It's not "Just A Bunny" to us!

Maman says she'd like to confront the irresponsible person, whomever it is, who  let the catz run wild and who says, "It's Just A Bunny", and say to them, "Guess whut? You're Just A Jerk."

But as Maman also says, she rilly can't do that onna'count obba Fakt that would be Uncharitable, and show Whut A Rilly Mean Sort of Person She Can Be If She Lets Herself Go.

But whenever I hear the catz out inna Back Gardin, I *THUMP* to let the Dawg know that there are Catz out there and axt him to chase them for me. Anna Dawg has NO PROBLEM chasing those Catz outta Our Back Gardin every chance he gets. He won't hurt them, but he makes them leave at TOP SPEEDS onna'count obba Fakt that they don't belong in Our Back Gardin.

They are Not Our Catz!

Our Catz live Uppystairs in their own Apartmint and never, ever go outside. They do not kill birds and they do not ever have to hunt for their food. They do not kill udder animals and they do not steal around in sumbunny else's bushes. Maman and Dadda make sure that Our Catz go do the V-E-Ts and have clean pootie-boxes, and go to the Spa.

As Maman says, she and Dadda take care of Our Catz. Beep is Spayed and Cokie is Neutered. The person who owns these Outdoor Catz should take responsibility for them, and care about them! And they should have them spayed and neutered so that no innocent kittens come innu the werld, and make sure that the catz are clean and healthy, and well-fed. Catz that are forced to hunt for food get sick easily and never have enough to eat.

Hoomins who just let catz go inna neighbourhood are selfish and irresponsible. They should not be allowed to own catz or enny udder critters.

The Fakt that the Mean Catz hunted down the poor Little Wild Cottontail Rabbit that used to live unner'neaf obba Frunt Porch issa Tragedy! How could sumbunny let this happin? Doesn't ennybunny care?

How can ennybunny look at rows and rows of trusting white rabbit faces lined up in collars inna laboratory, knowing that horribul fings are gonna happen to those sweet faces - and then not care about those bunnies? How can ennybunny just turn away and say, "It's Just A Rabbit"?

So I thought it was Good News when Maman told me that the Gubbermint Laboratories have said that they will No Longer Test for Toxics on Small Animals!

Yeah!

So millions of Bunny Lives will be saved!

Of course that means that about a million new bunny homes will need to be found for these Big White Bunnies who will no longer be used for Laboratory Testing - but with their sweet faces, I know Good People will 'dopt them!

Maman says she has allus wanted a Big White Bunny.

Our Cousin Norman in SoCal (whose Mawmie is Auntie Carla of HareWEAR!) is a Big White Bunny. Norm issa'speshully cooperative Big White Bunny Who Wears Hats. Auntie Carla sent Maman this pikchur of Norman wearing his Noo Easter Hat.. 

I am currently a Small NZ. That's whut Dr Sharin has down on my Medical History where it says "breed" - "Small NZ" - which means that I am a small Big White Bunny. I have the big ears and typical body-shape of the typical Big White Bunny, and the big feets with the long toes. It's just that there issa silver smudge on my nose. But I am also currently growing. Mostly Growing 'Tellygint, but still Growing, so I might become a Big White Bunny, yet.

Yeah!

So that's about All That Is Going On Heer.

February is a slow month at Our Warren. Alla Us Togedder are mostly just bizzy growing, which issa sorta single, solitary type of Fing that's done with Reg'lar Treats and Meals On Time.

Mouse is still watching Law & Order. Maman says she sorta wishes he'd branch out a little, and maybe watch anudder show called NCIS onna'count obba Fakt it seems to have aircraft carriers on it. Maman still likes television shows 'bout The Navy and axts Phil questions like, "Whut ship issat?" It seems that ships have numbers as well as names, anna Navy rents them out to have pictures taken for television. Even old ships. Maman was watching sumfing called "Master and Commander" and sure enough, there were rilly old ships and more Navy, all rented out to have their pictures taken for the television!

Our Bim usta build ships to put on top obba pianos. Heer issa pikchur ob Wunna Bim's Ships that is onna piano inna Living Room. Maman doesn't let Us touch it, though.

I watched summa that Master and Commander show onna'count obba Fakt it had ships in it, but then a Cokie-cat came to sit onna sofa, so I left. There was too much yelling going on, ennyways, and I don't like loud.

So that's preddy much all that has happined besides the specific Fings I've typed about. To be honest, I'm having a hard time coming up with Fings to Type About!

But like Maman says, boring is sumtimes good onna'count obba Fakt it let's you know whut Real Trubble Looks Like When It Happins!

--------------------------------------  By George


Posted by Our Warren at 10:24 AM EST
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Sunday, 17 February 2008
George's 2008 Second Strand: Day Number 17
Now Playing: Rabbits: We're right anna the Werld isn't

Finally! I am back to the 'puter! I dunno why hoomins can't unner'stand that Bunnies are Creatures Of Habit. We Like Schedules. We Thrive On Reg'lar. And, as everybunny knows, The Bunny Is Allus Right.

You can look it up.

Yeah.

It's inna Bunny Bill of Rights.

You know, I find it distressing when I hear sumbun say, "I dunno why 'dat bunny allus has to go round the edges of a room, snipping wires." or "My HouzBunny has a wire-snipping fetish."

Hokay, Furst Of All, it's not "your" bunny (but this isn't the time to get innu the whole "Companion Animal" debate. Let's just say that frum Where We Sit - occupying the High Ground - hoomins provide the Forever Home and We Furnish it with Love. Hozzat?). 

But ennyways, No Bunny has a Fetish. Try to Get Over It. Having a "Fetish" is Trying To Assign Hoomin Values to a HouzRabbit, and That's Not Valid (as Maman Would Say).

HouzRabbits have Schedules or Habits or Species Imperitives, and Wunna Them is going around the edges of rooms, snipping wires and moving Things In Our Way onna Reg'lar Basis.

HouzRabbits go around the edges of a room because we treat the rooms Where We Live like we would enny Territory, like Our Burrows frum a coupla'hunnert years ago when we still lived Inna Wild and Inna Wild, there is One Rool: Stay Safe. That means that All Vines and Rocks gotta be outta the way of Hext'scape Routes. Because if you gotta Make A Run For it, vines and inconvenient rocks can make you trip, and lose time. When you're Running For Your Life, even the loss of a Split Second is Important!

So you gotta Be Prepared.You circle the boundaries of your Warren's Territory BIFORE there are Predators - and there will Allus Be Predators! - and you Move Those Rocks and Snip Those Vines so that there is Nothing In Your Way In Case of Emergency.

Why do you fink I'm so Big Onna Idea of Emergency Preparedness? Onna'count obba Fakt that I amma Rabbit! And Rabbits have survived for thousands of years precisely BECAUSE we are Prey!

We know Whut It Is Like to be hunted! It is in Our Genetic Code - or, rather, as Maman says, we Bunnies have a Species Memory of Outwitting Death.

Yeah.

Being Prey is part of Every-Bunny's Species Unconscious

Bet you didn't know that.

Hokay, well, It Is Troo. Anna Species Unconscious issa Heritage of Our Terrible Past as Prey.

Fink about it This Way: If you had spent a coupla'hunnert thousand years being chased down to be the main course on sumbunny else's dinner menu, you'd have a preddy Nervous Species Unconscious, too!

And Snipping Vines and Moving Rocks Outta the Way to keep your Hext'scape Routes clear would Unner'standab'ly be High on your Species' List of Priorities!

It would become One Of Those Important Skills you'd learn from your Granny and pass on down to those Younger Than You. It would become Part Of Your Lore. Knowing to always, Furst Fing every day, as Reg'lar assa Moon Rising, go along the edges of Your Territory, clearing the Hext'scape Routes of Vines and Rocks; it would become a Valuable Duty that would be carried out onna Regular Basis by certain bunnies for the Good Of The Warren.

So that even when Bunnies ceased to live inna Wild and took up living in Houzes, they continue to keep Escape Routes Clear and Safe - onna'count obba Fakt that you don't blow off a coupla-thousand years of Successful Evolutionary Hextperience just onna'count obba Fakt there is currently a Roof Ober Your Head.

You never know when you might have to go back to the Burrows and all the Hextperiences that have Werked Out Hokay inna past might come in useful inna Future. You never know, lemme tell you!

Which is WHY bunnies like Missy still come innu a room - ENNY ROOM - and trundle around the perimeter, snipping "vines" and moving "rocks" outta the way. And she does it EVERY DAY just in case the "vines" (wires) she snipped The Day Bifore has been replaced (as is so often the case when you're Living Assa Urban Rabbit) or in case sumbunny has put down a fresh pile ob rocks (buks) that is now 'Fishully Inna Way.

So This Is Why HouzRabbits Value Regularity and Habit, and Why We Get Upset, when Sumbunny Comes Along and Changes Fings Without Axting Us! Our Species Imperative has been Informed by Generations of Evolutionary Success - in udder werds, we've managed to get this far by keeping The Exits Clear Onna Regular Basis. And we are not about to go Screwing It Up now by giving up Habits That Werk.

So, you know, Alla Us Togedder just hate it when our Schedules Get Inner'rupted. Missy can't check for Vines and Rocks. I don't get my Blog Updated. Dusty doesn't get his Ration of Pets. Mouse doesn't get to study Law & Order, and Foxie doesn't get to Help Him. These are Fings that Need To Be Done Onna Reg'lar Basis!

The Vines and Rocks (wires and buks) might come back to trip us up in case we gotta make a mad dash for safety inna dark! (And that's the Whole Logic of it, you know. Inna Burrows, you are guided by the feel of a wall on your side, onna'count obba Fakt there is no light. And when you are running at top speeds with the Whole Rest Obba Warren, you NEED that pathway to be clear so you Don't Trip and Cause a Pile-Up of Struggling Bunnies. An Evacuation - s'speshully when there are Youngbuns and Kits involved - has to go Smoothly! Which is Why Sumbunnies are allus In Charge of Keeping Up Those Patahways around the edges of a room - where there issa wall to guide you - opin and free of Obstacles, lemme tell you!)

Nobunny can bemember a time when we DID NOT DO THIS, and it has become a Rool in Our Species' Unconscious that It Must Be Done! 

So when you see a bunny going around a room every day, looking for wires, or when the Companion HouzBunny that lives with you allus snips a wire that you've just replaced, now You Know Why: It is Our Speices' Unconscious At Werk For Us.

Which is also Why We Love Habits. You do sumfing Everyday and it's allus done. You can Depend on Done. And When You are Used to Being Prey, you NEED to depend on Sumfing. That is how You Stay Alive. And it is how You Make Sure that Udders Stay Safe. Make A Plan, Practice the Plan, then you Don't Have Panic onna'count obba Fakt that You Have The Plan.

See how that werks?

Yeah. Well, Fings keep Going on Heer at Our Warren that Get Inna Way of Maman's plans, that mess up Our Plans and Inner'Rupt Our Schedule.

And then Udder Species Around Heer wonder why we're not Hext'actly Inna Best Mood.

Like Yestidday.

Phil arrived at Eight O'clock Inna Morning, just as Maman was standing beside the Salad Bank, pouring her Second Cuppa Coffee. The Standing Clock inna Living Room had just got finished chiming Eight Times and she had just come down frum Uppystairs when the doorbell rang.

Which Set Offa Dawg.

Now, Da Dawg came wiffa Built-in Who-Is-Atta-Door IdentifyKayshun and Alarm System and wunna his Main Jobs as a Border Collie, besides Guarding (both The Houz - which means Us - and Maman - which is a whole 'nuther job on it's own) is Door Answering

Door Anwering is a multiple-skill Job, which means that when the doorbell rings, Da Dawg must perform several fings All At Once: he hasta jump up frum where-ebber he is, and run flat-out to the Frunt Door as fast as he can, while atta same time figging out who is onna udder side obba door, and giving the ApproPriate Identifying Bark to 'lert Maman Who Is Onna Porch, ringing the doorbell. Andditionally, Our Dawg has a Speshul Bark for Each Person Inna Warren, which 'Lerts me, assa Top Bun of Our Warren as to Whut's Going On.

So Da Dawg has Wun Kinda Bark for Dadda, and Wun Kinda Bark for Phil, and Two kinds of Bark for Sista Beffy, depending on if she has Baby Anya with her or not. It's all part of Whut Da Dawg Does assa Service Dawg for Maman who loses her balance easily (speshully if Da Dawg runs her down on his way to the Door, but that's a Whole 'nuther bunny...).

So ennyways...

The doorbell rang and Set Offa Dawg and so he charged past Maman, going, like, a coupla'hunnert miles-an-hour, and he's barking, "It'sPhil!It'sPhil!It'sPhil!" and he's bouncing up-and-down, all kinds of happy and waggy - because he's a Border-Collie and he's Doing His Job, and there is nothing happier than a Border-Collie Doing His Job. They live for that stuff.

And Mouse said to me, "You know, if that doorbell hadn't rung Just Then, we were gonna get Baby Organic Carrots."

And I watched Maman totter off through the Dining Room, and I said to Mouse, "Yeah. There goes Our Snack."

And Missy was like, "Whaaaaa!" because my Beautiful BunWife of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns can't bear to see food vanishing over the horizon.

And Mouse said to me, "I bet she fortygeds about Us."

And I said, "Bet you're right." Onna'count obba Fakt he and I both knew that Maman is Easily Distracted.

And not only *that*, but Phil, being her Kidlet and having Grown Up preddy much attached to her, knows how to distract her frum whatever she is doing and get her to Concentrate On Him. He's gotten Very Good at monopolizing her 'Tenshun over the years and is now a Qualified Hext-pert at Corraling and Holding Maman's Wandering 'Tenshun.

So, sure enough, Phil came in and started talking to Maman and she totally fortygot alla'bout Giving Us our Baby Organic Carrots!

So Dusty started to stomp and threw his toys all over his habbytat inna Effort to Bemind Maman of Whut She Was Gonna Do BIFORE she was inner'rupted. But, of course, she was Distracted, listening to Phil, and wasn't paying enny 'Tenshun to Dusty (although you gotta hand it to the Litte Guy, he can make a Lotta Noise when he sets that walnut-sized miniLop mind to it, lemme tell you!).

And Missy sat there inna BunRoom and gave both Maman and Phil "Whaaaa!" Disapproving Bunny Looks, but it wasn't Getting Her Anywhere, onna'count obba Fakt that Phil was keeping Maman Distracted by Still Talking to her inna Dinging Room.

So there was Rilly Nothing *to* do, 'cept to Sit There, so I sat there and tried to be Philosphical 'bout it. Onna'count obba Fakt I knew Maman would come to her senses Eventually. AND, My Schedule was shot ennyways; I felt my The Hay Diaries Blog Entry slipping away like Mist Onna River when Maman started making even *more* coffee and Phil found *His* cup inna cupboard.

So then, Phil came innu the BunRoom while the coffee was going through It's Maker, and he stopped by on his way to get milk frum the Salad Bank to see Dusty. And Phil knew about the "PET-THE-BUNNY" sign that is only visible to Sus'pectable Pet Peeble. And he stopped by to obey the sign to PetTheBunny. Then Foxie was doing her Cute and Phil petted her onna'count obba Fakt that Their Habbytats are closest to the Doorway to the Kitchin, and nobun can resist Foxie.

And Mr Mouse, who was just across the way from Dusty and Foxie was giving Phil the RBB, and looking over his shoulder to make sure Phil Got the Point that he's been given the RBB inna Furst Place.

Now you gotta unner'stand that The RBB is The Royal Bunny Butt - a bunny turning his back on you. It also issa Very, Very Old Lagomorphan insult - because nothing says "You suck." inna burrow, like the sight of sumbunny's rear end clogging up the tunnel and Not Moving. And, of course, part of Giving sumbunny the RBB is looking back over your shoulder to make sure that your butt is properly placed and that the Intended Party has noticed it, and is suitably 'nnoyed by the sight of it. 

So Mouse had Very Obviously *turned his back* on Phil and was now giving him a good Display of Tail. Nobunny can give such elaboratly insulting tail as Mr Mouse! He *rilly* can get up-close-and-personal with it! We're talking right-in-your-face RBB!

So Mouse was giving Phil the RBB for Diverting Maman's 'Tenshun and making her Fortyged about handing around our Baby Organic Carrots, and Mouse has got his nice, round little Polish Silver Dwarf butt pressed firmly uppy'gainst the side of his habbytat, which meant that his tail was sorta sticking out through the habbytat. And Mouse was looking back over his shoulder at Phil, and giving him a Rilly Good Glare.

And Phil bent down, so that he and Mr Mouse were both onna Same Level. And just as Mouse went to deliver the Final Insult by sticking his nose up inna air and turning away frum Phil - Phil reached up, and he TWEAKED MOUSE'S TAIL!

And he said, "Bunny Butt!"

And *laughed*!

Well...

Mr Mouse honked, and sprang up innu the air, and he spun around one-hunnert-and-eighty degrees, so that he landed alla-way onna Udder Side of his Habbytat, facing Phil. And he started grunting furiously onna'count obba Fakt that he was Wun Angry Rabbit who had just had His Diggity Destroyed.

And Phil continued to chuckle, and he went innu the Salad Bank and came out with a Big Bag of Baby Organic Carrots. And he opined them up and gave SIX (not four!) to Missy and Me, and even bemembered to say,

"Here ya go TopBunny George and MissyBun." And he didn't call her "Bug-A-Lugs" so that made her happy, and he bemembered that I am the Top Bunny in Our Warren, and that made me happy.

Then he dropped a Baby Organic Carrot innu Dusty's habbytat. Unfortunetly, the Furst Wun landed on Dusty's Head, but there was No Harm Done - that has happined bifore and it only serves to 'Lert Dusty that there Is Going To Be Carrots. For Sum Reason that Maman has Yet To Figure Out, Dusty won't accept treats frum her hand. He can't seem to find them unless they are in his food crock. Even if she puts the carrot *between his bunny-lips* he gets so hextcited finking he's gonna get-a-pet that he just ignores the baby organic carrot. So Maman has concluded that all Treats For Dusty have to go Innu Dusty's Food Crock.

So Phil landed the Second Baby Organic Innu Dusty's Food Crock. And as soon as Dusty heard it go *tink* innu his Food Crock, he stuck his nose in, grabbed the Baby Organic Carrot and dashed off with it. This is onna'count obba Fakt that Dusty issa Member of Little Rainbow Ashy's "Runs With Food" Club.

Then Phil gave Baby Organic Carrots to Foxie and she was very Lady-like about it and didn't even nip him once even though he wasn't Dadda.

So that took him to Mouse, who was hunched in his corner, grunting and bouncing up-and-down like a gimmie-pig on steroids.

And Phil was like, "Hey Mouse. Wanna carrot?"

And Mouse said sumfing in lagomorphin that won't translate well innu Inkwish, but hassa *lot* to do with Phil's general species and ancestry.

And Phil held out a Baby Organic Carrot. And he was like, "Hey come on, buddy. You stick out your tail, you know someone is bound to tweak it."

And Mouse was still grumbling.

And Phil was like, "I got your carrot, Mr Mouse."

So Mouse, who *rilly* isn't a Bad Bunny at heart, hopped across the habbytat and grabbed the carrot outta Phil's hand, and began to run off with it. But Mouse just can't resist having "the last werd" inna argumint, so he hadda add in a coupla'FootFlicks-of-Distain while he was at it...

And Phil knew 'zactly whut FootFlicks meant in Lagomorphin onna'count obba Fakt he's been Flicked Off by Belinda Bunny enough times inna Past to know Whut That Means!

So Phil managed to go, "Poke!" and prodded Mr Mouse right inna Nether Regions on the fly, while he was hopping away with the Baby Organic Carrot!

And Mr Mouse was like, *HONK!*

And Phil laughed at him *again*!

And I was over with Missy, eating my carrots and I was, like, "Whoa."

And Maman came innu the BunRoom and she said to Phil, all suspicious-like, "Are you messing with my bunnies?"

And Phil was like, "Oh no. I just gave everybun carrots." And he held up the bag. Then he looked at Maman, all innocent-like, and he said, "Gotta love that Mouse  'Bunnitude'!"

And Maman looked at Phil and her eyes narrowed and she said, "I don't care Whut You Say. You're messing up my schedule."

And Phil was like, "You are getting just like your rabbits, Ma. Loosen up a little!"

And Maman shook her head, and she was like, "I dunno. Schedules are there for a reason. Wun of These Days you're going to be glad I have schedules for you to mess up."

And Missy looked up with a mouthful of carrot and said to me, "She's right. Wunna These Days sumbunny is gonna wake up toda Fakt dat it's Troo: 'The Bunny Is Allus Right', and they will fank me!"

And I was like, "Fank you for whut?"

And Missy said, "Bein' a HouzRabbit. Clearin' vines and snippin' wires and stuff; insisting that My Way Is Right. Onna'count obba Fakt that it *is*. Rabbits: We're Right anna Werld Issn't."

------------------------------------------------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 12:31 PM EST
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Thursday, 14 February 2008
George's 2008 Second Strand: Day Number 14
Now Playing: Valentine's Day

Well, it's Valentine's Day!

Normally this would be a Hoomin Fing, but I figger that Enny Day that is about Love has Gotta Be Good for EveryBunny. I mean, look at it This Way, if EveryBunny could practice being More Loving, just for Tiday, that would be Preddy Cool.

Like take a 'Fer'Instince: Sumbun is finking: "I wuld like to add a Companion Animal to my Life. I did alla Research online onna Werld Wide Web and I fink a (_insert-name-of-Campanion-Animal-of-Your-Choice-heer_) will be a good fit for My Family."

And then, since you have done Alla Pre'liminary Werk, you figger, "And tiday is Valentine's Day, that is Alla'bout Love. Which issa *Rilly* Good Day to Begin My Search for a Forever Friend!"

Yeah!

So Tiday you visit a Shelter that is FULL of FOREVER FRIENDS!

See how that werks?

Because enny day you go to a Shelter you just know that EVERY DAY inna Shelter could possibly be your Very Own Valentine's Day - onna'count obba Fakt that it is Just Fulla Companion Animals who are Fulla Love - and Wun Could Be Waiting There for You!

Yeah!

And if your Pa'Tik'lar Forever Friend isn't atta Shelter tiday, on Valentine's Day, go back Tomorrow, onna'count obba Fakt that she or he might be running a day or two late onna'count obba Fakt that Stuff Happins. But Shelters are Fulla Companion Animals that are Fulla Love, all Looking For Forever Friends.

And also, since Tiday is Valentine's Day, and it's Alla'Bout Love, then mebbe we can all Show More Love just going through the day.

You know, like Mr Mouse did not pee onna Dawg tiday.

And that was even afta Da Dawg stuck his nose innu Mouse's habbytat , and surprised the Heck Outta Him - onna'count obba Fakt that Maman Waked Up Late, and we were all kinda Dozing, then Suddinly Heer Comes Maman, like a Freight Train inna Bloo Bafrobe (hexcept it issa Red Royal Stewart Plaid bafrobe she's wearing atta momint that she found inna box marked "M & S" that she found Uppystairs inna Attik... ennyways...)

So heer comes Maman anna Dawg is trotting afta her onna'count obba Fakt that he *rilly* needs to go Out On Patrol.

But As Usual, Maman can't Gedda Back Door Opin.

So while she is struggling Wiffa Back Door, Da Dawg (being polite) comes to stick his nose innu Our Habbytats to say "Good Morning, howyadoin'" and Stuff Like That - which Usually Resuslts inna Dawg getting hay Up His Snoot or sumfing and Sneezing it Out All Over Sumbunny.

Usually the SumBunny (unless it is Dusty who doesn't seem to mind because he issa 'Tenshun Sponge and finks Enny 'Tenshun is Good, no matter Whut Kind of 'Tenshon it is!) but usually, the SumBunny who gets Sneezed on Takes It The Wrong Way and gets 'Nnoyed Wiffa Dawg.

There is Only So Much Snot you can stand, lemme tell you!

So that's how Da Dawg, (who is just Being Friendly) can get peed on, s'speshully by a bunny wif Wun Short Fuse, like Mr Mouse. I mean, afta all, when you have been to Princeton, and you are studying to pass your Salad Bar and watched Jack McCoy try case afta case on Law & Order, and Studied Engineering on Dadda's desk, and ebberyfing, you are Wun Serious HouzRabbit! Dawg Snoots (no matter how Wellin'Tended) in your Habbytat, while you are Minding Your Own Biznizz or concentrating on Doing Your Cute to get Baby Organic Carrots at Eight O'clock Inna Morning, are not 'zaktly Whut You'd Call 'Welcome'.

But onna'count obba Fakt that tiday is Valentine's Day anna Day About Love, Mr Mouse did not pee onna Dawg.

Maman gotta door opin Just in Time anna Dawg Rushed Out so he could get on with Counting His Squirrels which is allus the start of The Morning Patrol.

And onna'count obba Fakt that tiday is Valentine's Day anna Day Fulla Love, he came back Inna Houz All Wet & Muddy onna'count obba Fakt that he took Extra Time and Effort to Mark *Alla* Boudaries along The Fence, even though with alla Rain Yestidday and Last Night, there issa Whole Deep Lake that reaches halfway uppa Gardin through which he hadda splash. He says it's a Regular Flood Out there, but he Percey-Vered (Like Auntie Grace's Maine Coon cat. Maine Coons are Very Good at Keeping On at Whut They Want Until They Get it!).

So Da Dawg showed his Devotion to Duty and Splashed his way through the Whole Huge Lake inna Back Gardin and Got Wet & Muddy, marking *Alla* Boundaries even though it is Cold Out, onna'count obba Fakt he is Showing How Much He Loves his Jobs and His Pack, which Would Be Alla Us Togdder, on Valentine's Day!

So he was more than a Liddle Surprised When Dadda said, "Mucky Dawg!" when he came back in, dripping wadder everywheres onna floor and Dadda hadda rub him down wiffa towel and then Mop The Floor.

But it just Goes To Show You how even Da Dawg is showing Extra Love Tiday on Valentine's Day!

Yeah!

Even Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is Getting In On Valentine's Day.

This morning, Dadda came innu Maman's Study and sat down onna Foo-Ton, nextest to Cokie.

And Cokie, who had Not Been Doing ennyfing previously, started ME-owing and poking Dadda Energetically Inna Buttocks with his paw.

And Dadda's trying to talk to Maman about His Plans for the Day, and there's Cokie, ME-owing, and prodding Sum Serious Buttock.

And Dadda was, like, "Lookit Cat, if you don't get your claws out of my bum, we are going to have a Serious Falling Out."

And Cokie was like, "ME-ow?" with his eyes *rilly* big, like saucers.

So Dadda turned away and Cokie was like, "Hey! I was trying to tawk to yooo!  Hey! Dadda! Whuta'bout ME-ow? I Looooove yoooo!" and went back to prodding.

So Dadda stopped talking to Maman and looked back at Cokie and said, "Listen, Son. If you don't shut up and keep those claws to yourself, Phil is going to get some new guitar strings and I'm getting a pair of furry slippers!"

Anna Cokie-Cat, "But Hey Yoooo! I can't Loooove you if you don't Pay 'Tenshun To ME-ow!"

So Dadda reached over, grabbed the Cokie Cat inna head-lock, rubbed his head, fluffed out alla his whiskers, massaged his ears and gave him a kiss-onna-nose.

Anna Cat was purring, like, "That's right. I hadda 'Nnoy you to get your 'Tenshun so I could give you sum 'Feckshun. Now pay ME MORE 'Tenshun so I can walk all over you to show you how much I *rilly* care!"

Anna Cokie Cat stood up and pushed against Dadda so hard (onna'count obba Fakt he loves Dadda *that* much!) that he almost pushed Dadda offa the Foo-Ton and on toda Floor of Maman's Study.

So if you love Animals, Today issa Day to show it. If you love ennybunny, Today issa Day to show it. Tiday is Valentine's Day, when there is Extry Love Alla'Round.

If you have been meaning to make a donation to a shelter, do it Tiday.

If you're looking for a Forever Friend or Companion Animal, Tiday issa Great Day to go to a Shelter to start your Search!

Romance is only Temp'rary, and ennybun can find *that*. Romance can even be Made Up outta boxes and chocolates and flowers and ribbons and lace and pretty rocks. Ennybun can make up Romance, so of course it won't last.

But you can't just make up Love. Love isn't the stuff for Wun Day Only, although it can Start Wun Day. Love is Love, and it is Preddy Amazin' Stuff. Valentine's Day issn't about Temp'rary Stuff like Romance. Valentine's Day is about Love, and that is much Stronger Stuff.

But Love can Start Wun Day - like Tiday!

And If there can be Wun Day to Show DeddyKayShun to an ideal, like Earth Day, or Maman's "Meatless Fridays" or "Mothers Day" (and then there are alla Whut Maman Calls "Hallmark Days", but I won't go innu that onna'count obba Fakt that it will just Get Her Started)

Ennyways...

Valentine's Day issa Wunnerful Day to show Love to Everybunny!

I wunder Whut The Werld would be like if everybun showed Love to Everybunny else? Whut If Every Day could be Valentine's Day for Alla Us Companion Animals?

---------------------------------------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 12:40 PM EST
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Wednesday, 13 February 2008
George's 2008 Second Strand: Day Number 13
Now Playing: Ice-storm Normal

Maman said that we're Inna Ice Storm.

Yeah.

It began as a Snow Storm, but fings changed over night and Now there is the Tail End of an Ice Storm going on, and the Beginnings of a Flood Warning. The Stone Warren in Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Rose & Herb Gardin are all shiny with a glaze of ice, the Back Garden is Wun Grey Sheet and Maman is afriad to let Da Dawg go Out On Patrol in case he Slips and Falls.

So this is 'Fishully Messed Up.

Maman also said there will be No Morning Hay onna'count obba Fakt the Hay Locker is Sealed Up Tight.

With Ice.

So that's a Bummer.

And Mr Mouse said he isn't Shure, but he's Pretty Shure that he can hear Wadder Dripping outside the Door-To-The-ScreePorch that is Nextest to His Habbytat, which prob'ly means that the ScreenPorch, where it hooks on to the Rest Obba Houz, is either Parting Company Wiffa Rest Obba Houz or else it hassa Leak In Its Roof.

Eidder Way, Maman says, there is Nothing She Can Do About It Now, 'cept wait for the Flood Watch to End, the Precippytashun to Stop, and then Call Sumbun to Take A Look At It and Tell her How Much It Will Cost to Fix Whut's Wrong. She said it's Anudder Wun of Those Fings that's all set to Drive Her Nutz, but hasn't Happined Yet. She calls it An InSippyAnt DisAssTer (insect sucked through a beverage straw + lady that backed innu an airplane propeller. Please try to keep up.).

So Maman said to Us (after she'd 'Nnoyed Mr Mouse by moving him all around to make "Wun-hunnert p'sent sure" that there was no wadder threatening to come in or around on him or ennyfing),

"To hell with it."

And got out milk for her Big Cuppa Coffee and then stumbled Uppystairs on her Onliest, leaving a trail of coffee drops that Kept Da Dawg Amused, and Not Much Else. I don't fink she slept very well lastest night onna count obba Fakt I kept on hearing her Commit Serial Sneezing.

So that's aNudder Bummer.

So Dadda just Waked Up and Tried to Let Da Dawg Out On Patrol. Da Dawg stood atta Back Door, stuck his nose out and sniffed for a Minit, then turned to Dadda and said,

"No Fanks. No Job, No Go. You go, I go, but Udderwise, forgedabouddit."

Then he turned around and came by Missy and Me and said, "As Dadda says, 'Bugger that for a game ob soldiers!' onna'count obba Fakt no self-respecktin' Dawg is gonna go out in that! Furst ob all, it's Pouring Down Freezin' Rain, Seckont ob all the Steps are All Ice, then it's Snow, then more Ice and now the Lake is forming atta Bottom Obba Yard. If Dadda's not comin' out, there is No Way I'm going out! No Job, No Go. That's my motto. Geez!"

And he went off to do his Favourite Fing, which is to Herd Catz, onna'count obba Fakt Maman left the Door Atta Top Obba Stairs open and Beep had come downnastairs assa Volunteer.

And Maman came Downnastairs to give Alla Us Togedder Baby Organic Carrots.

And she said, "That ought to shut you up."

Which is Preddy Ironic onna'count obba Fakt that none of Us has said Ennyfing yet.

And she went off to complain to Dadda that Ellyphants have Ice Skated on Razor Blades down her throat. She also said she didn't feel like talking and then did a Lot of It, mostly telling him what We Could Already Hear, which was that Don-Nextest-Door was shovelling out his DribeWay, and making room for alla rain wadder to flow out *that way*. And Maman said that This would prob'ly be a Golden Opportunity for Dadda to use his HydroWhutSit Engineering Certification-fing to do sum Hydro-Engineering Around Heer.

Dadda said his Additional Certification was in HyDrawLick Engineering and that it wasn't quite the Same Fing.

And Maman gave him that blank stare that she gives to him when Stupid Issa'Vantage and said, "But you Are An Engineer. Engineers Can Fix Ennyfing. And we prob'ly *should* Fix the Rain before the Ice Storm does it for us."

Maman says she has Total Faith in Dadda's Ability to Fix Ennyfing. Onna'count obba Fakt that he issa Engineer.

Anna Cokie Cat cruised by and said to the Dawg, "Sucks to be you, pal. I'm heading Uppystairs for my Indoor Pootie Box and morning nap."

And Mr Mouse said, "Don't look at me. I always use my pootie-box."

And Dusty and Missy were both Occupying their Respective High Grounds and giving Da Dawg a sort of Copy of Maman's Stupid Issa'Vantage Stare.

So the Dawg was standing beside the Back Door with his paws Crossed, and looking at Dadda axting, "Gotta Job?" in the hopeful, anxious Collie-way.

And Dadda said to the Dawg, "Lookit, son, you go Count Your Squirrels. I'll go Engineer Sum Steel. Meet you back heer in three minits."

And he Opined the Back Door anna Dawg shot out of it, toenails all hextended for track-shun inna weather. So the Morning Patrol is Unner Way, Dadda is Engineering and Maman and Alla Us Togedder are doing Our Normal inna Ice Storm.

----------------------------------- By George!


Posted by Our Warren at 10:22 AM EST
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