Now Playing: I Was Wrong
Yeah. I know I said it.
And I was wrong.
Stuff happins in February.
It's been happining it ever since I said "There is Nothing Going On Around Heer" and now it has Gotten Worse... lemme tell you.
The Other Night, Maman let me watch the NBC10 News Atta 11 onna television with her and Dadda.
Now this show has led to All Kinda Stuff happining in Our Warren, inklooding Mr Mouse's "Obsession" (whut Maman calls it) with Law & Order and his becoming an ADA like Our Auntie Michelle (who is Judge Rudy Esquehare's and Pumpkin's mawmie anna Suffolk County, Noo Yawk's "Go-to" person to prosecute Animal abusers!). Maman says that if she had not accidentally turned onna NBC10 News Atta 11 early, she would not have found Law & Order, and Mr Mouse would not have heard the "plink-plink" pizzacatto scene-change music, and he never would have started 'miring Jack McCoy and wanting to be like him and alla *that* stuff - and Maman would not have Had To Get Verizon FIOS and found out that there are television stations that run Law & Order marrythons that run almost non-stop with No Breaks At All!
Mr Mouse says that if Maman hadn't been inna habit of watching NBC10 News Atta 11 and turned it on early so that Mouse had heard the "plink-plink" Law & Order scene-change music and recognised it frum his life with his former friend, The Guy Frum Liberia, he wouldn't have bothered to resume studying to pass The Salad Bar in Noo Joisey and not become an Advocate for HouzRabbits Everywheres. And he nebber would have become a Political Animal and considered voting for Fred Thompson, or werking to Influence Dadda to engage in Animal Friendly Advertising Practices or employing an Animal-Friendly Atturney or enny of *that* stuff, either.
So all-in-all, Maman watching NBC10 News Atta 11 has had sorta Far-Reaching ConSeeQuences for Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren.
I got to watch NBC10 News Atta 11 and they had this story on about A Study Has Found That Having A Cat Adds Years To Your Life.
And the major point to this story was that sum scientific person sumwhere had done a "study" that "proved" that having a Cat living assa Companion Animal with a hoomin caused the hoomin to live longer. (Please note that nothing was reported onna Cat. This is important!)
So ennyways, just about the same time as this new report was happining, Da Dawg came rushing innu the Sitting Room, all Werried and Anxious. And he rushed up to Dadda and stuck his nose innu Dadda's hand that was holding his Big Tea Cup.
And Dadda was like, "Whut's up with you, Doggo?"
Anna Dawg was like, "Ohmigosh! Come look! Ohmigosh!"
And Maman, who doesn't have a rilly good grasp of Canine, said to Dadda, "Mebbe he has to go Out On Patrol?"
Well, even I know you don't say the Inkwish werd "out" around Da Dawg, onna'count obba Fakt he will instantly want to go there.
And sure enough, Da Dawg's ears went up and he looked at Maman, but then you could see anudder throught go racing acrosst his brain, behind his eyes and out his ears, and he turned back to Dadda and started up with the "Ohmigosh!" thing again.
And Dadda said to Maman, "I don't think that's it."
Anna Dawg began doing his shifting-paw-to-paw-hextited-shuffle thing and buried his nose further innu Dadda's hand, almost upsetting his Big Tea Cup.
So Right About Then, Cokie-the-Fat-Cat strolled innu the Sitting Room, waving his tail like a big, bushy flag, like he was all kinds of proud of himself. And he sat down nextest to Da Dawg and said to Dadda:
"Beep was bad."
Anna Dawg saw Cokie, got even more Anxious and bumped harder innu Dadda's hand, splashing out summa the tea. Anna drop or two landed on Cokie's head.
So, of course, Dadda went, "Marc!" anna Dawg was like, "Whut?" and Cokie glared, shifted his weight and took a swipe atta Dawg.
Now ennybunny could see that it wasn't much of a swipe, but Maman rilly gets upset when there are Claws Out and there issa BunnyRabbit inna Room, namely me.
So Maman reached across and bopped Cokie onna head and said, "No Claws! That was mean, Cokie!" inna Very Cross Tone.
And Dadda said, "It was the Dawg's Fault. He bumped my hand and splashed tea onna Cat's head."
And Maman was like, "Well, Cokie provoked him by making Marc feel insecure."
Anna Dawg snapped, "Yeah." but Maman wasn't looking.
And Cokie was like, "Whutthe?" and stuck a claw innu Dadda's trouser leg to get his 'tenshun and report he had been Snapped At.
And Dadda was like, "You better mind your p's and q's, son." to the Cokie-Cat, which kind of raised his Aggrivation Factor with Da Dawg onna'count obba Fakt Cokie was Getting Blamed For Sumfing While Being The Injured Party!
Besides which, the Whole Conversation Wasn't Going His Way.
But I was all innerested in Whut Cokie had Said Furst Off, so I turned my ears and hadda look downnaHall and I could just see Beep-the-Udder-Cat making a slinky-exit frumma BafRoom.
And I was like, "Now this is innerestin'."
Now Maman is not good at Canine and she is rilly bad at Feline, but she is preddy proficient in Lagomorphin, so she picked up on my body-language fast and looked downnaHallway just in time to see Whut I Saw, which was Beep slinking downnaHallway, looking *rilly* Guilty-As-Sin.
And Maman was like, "Uh, Brian?"
And Dadda was like, "Whut?"
And Maman said, "Do you remember how I said when the Washing Machine had that plumbing problem that I'd sorted the clothes into piles and left them on the Bathroom floor because I couldn't wash them because the Washing Machine wouldn't work until you fixed the plumbing?"
And Dadda said, "I fixed the plumbing, dear."
And Maman was like, "Yeah, I know that. And everything werks *rilly* well now. But I had to re-wash the towels, and that left the dark things that didn't get done still sitting on the Bathroom floor because I had to do the light things, first."
And I knew enough hoomin to see the "Get-to-the-point-sweetheart" look on Dadda's face. Everybunny who has ever had ennyfing to do with Maman gets that look on their face eventchually, so I know it when I see it, lemme tell you.
But Maman, being Whut Is Called "Oblivious", went on, "So the dark things aren't done yet. They're still in a pile on the Bathroom floor. And you know, your jeans are 'dark things' so they're in that pile. On the Bathroom floor. And I think that's Whut Marc Is Saying - that Beep is just walking out of the Bathroom..."
And right as she said *that*, Dadda jumped up offa the sofa, bowled over both Da Dawg anna Cokie-Cat and went running innu the Bafroom.
Then he came out. Anna Dawg joined him inna Hallway - looking suddinly all Self-important and Highly Indignant - and Dadda yelled,
"BEEP! YOU JUST LOST ONE OF YOUR NINE LIVES!"
And Maman grabbed on to me like sumfing horrybul was gonna happin.
Which was just assa Cokie-Cat got up frum where he landed inna middle of the Sitting Room.
And Cokie was, like, "Cool. Sumbunny's Gettin' In Trubble . I'm gonna go watch." and he started off downnaHallway to join Da Dawg and Dadda as they thundered through the Dining Room togedder.
Meanwhile, I heard Beep legging it Uppystairs wif Dadda anna Dawg in hot-pursoot.
So Preddy Soon, Dadda came back innu the Sitting Room, and he hadda Dawg with him (still acting all Self-Important and Highly Indignant) and Dadda said to Maman (without looking at her),
"I know we rescued both of those Catz."
And Maman nodded (without looking at him). And I could tell frumma way that she was holding on that she was being Very Protective Of Me.
And Dadda continued, "And I know that we made a life-time commitment to care for them."
And Maman nodded again, and sorta held on to me more tightly. So I waggled my ears to let her know that, you know, hey wady, sumbunny has gotta breathe down heer...
And Dadda went on, "But so help me, if that Cat"
And I knew he meant Beep, not Cokie.
And Dadda took a deep breath, "If that Cat pees outside of her litter-box one more time - ESPECIALLY ON MY JEANS,"
And Maman, still staring straight ahead atta television and holding on to me for dear-life, nodded.
"That cat is going to enjoy a very short life."
So Whut I Want To Tell NBC10 New Atta 11 is that they need to do a follow-up story on this whole Having Cats Adds Years To Your Life fing. Because I suspect that while hoomins may enjoy an increased life-span frum sharing their lives with Catz, I am not too sure about the life-span obba Catz, For Wun Fing.
And sumbunny bedda check the figgers aboudda Increased Hoomin Aggrivation Factors While Living With Catz, too, lemme tell you!
Onna'count obba Fakt that I was wrong, and Stuff does happin around heer in Feburary!
------------------------------------------ By George