Yeah. I know I said it.

And I was wrong.

Stuff happins in February.

It's been happining it ever since I said "There is Nothing Going On Around Heer" and now it has Gotten Worse... lemme tell you.

The Other Night, Maman let me watch the NBC10 News Atta 11 onna television with her and Dadda.

Now this show has led to All Kinda Stuff happining in Our Warren, inklooding Mr Mouse's "Obsession" (whut Maman calls it) with Law & Order and his becoming an ADA like Our Auntie Michelle (who is Judge Rudy Esquehare's and Pumpkin's mawmie anna Suffolk County, Noo Yawk's "Go-to" person to prosecute Animal abusers!). Maman says that if she had not accidentally turned onna NBC10 News Atta 11 early, she would not have found Law & Order, and Mr Mouse would not have heard the "plink-plink" pizzacatto scene-change music, and he never would have started 'miring Jack McCoy and wanting to be like him and alla *that* stuff - and Maman would not have Had To Get Verizon FIOS and found out that there are television stations that run Law & Order marrythons that run almost non-stop with No Breaks At All!

Mr Mouse says that if Maman hadn't been inna habit of watching NBC10 News Atta 11 and turned it on early so that Mouse had heard the "plink-plink" Law & Order scene-change music and recognised it frum his life with his former friend, The Guy Frum Liberia, he wouldn't have bothered to resume studying to pass The Salad Bar in Noo Joisey and not become an Advocate for HouzRabbits Everywheres. And he nebber would have become a Political Animal and considered voting for Fred Thompson, or werking to Influence Dadda to engage in Animal Friendly Advertising Practices or employing an Animal-Friendly Atturney or enny of *that* stuff, either.

So all-in-all, Maman watching NBC10 News Atta 11 has had sorta Far-Reaching ConSeeQuences for Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren.

Ennyways...

I got to watch NBC10 News Atta 11 and they had this story on about A Study Has Found That Having A Cat Adds Years To Your Life.

And the major point to this story was that sum scientific person sumwhere had done a "study" that "proved" that having a Cat living assa Companion Animal  with a hoomin caused the hoomin to live longer. (Please note that nothing was reported onna Cat. This is important!)

So ennyways, just about the same time as this new report was happining, Da Dawg came rushing innu the Sitting Room, all Werried and Anxious. And he rushed up to Dadda and stuck his nose innu Dadda's hand that was holding his Big Tea Cup.

And Dadda was like, "Whut's up with you, Doggo?"

Anna Dawg was like, "Ohmigosh! Come look! Ohmigosh!"

And Maman, who doesn't have a rilly good grasp of Canine, said to Dadda, "Mebbe he has to go Out On Patrol?"

Well, even I know you don't say the Inkwish werd "out" around Da Dawg, onna'count obba Fakt he will instantly want to go there.

And sure enough, Da Dawg's ears went up and he looked at Maman, but then you could see anudder throught go racing acrosst his brain, behind his eyes and out his ears, and he turned back to Dadda and started up with the "Ohmigosh!" thing again.

And Dadda said to Maman, "I don't think that's it."

Anna Dawg began doing his shifting-paw-to-paw-hextited-shuffle thing and buried his nose further innu Dadda's hand, almost upsetting his Big Tea Cup.

So Right About Then, Cokie-the-Fat-Cat strolled innu the Sitting Room, waving his tail like a big, bushy flag, like he was all kinds of proud of himself. And he sat down nextest to Da Dawg and said to Dadda:

"Beep was bad."

Anna Dawg saw Cokie, got even more Anxious and bumped harder innu Dadda's hand, splashing out summa the tea. Anna drop or two landed on Cokie's head.

So, of course, Dadda went, "Marc!" anna Dawg was like, "Whut?" and Cokie glared, shifted his weight and took a swipe atta Dawg.

Now ennybunny could see that it wasn't much of a swipe, but Maman rilly gets upset when there are Claws Out and there issa BunnyRabbit inna Room, namely me.

So Maman reached across and bopped Cokie onna head and said, "No Claws! That was mean, Cokie!" inna Very Cross Tone.

And Dadda said, "It was the Dawg's Fault. He bumped my hand and splashed tea onna Cat's head."

And Maman was like, "Well, Cokie provoked him by making Marc feel insecure."

Anna Dawg snapped, "Yeah." but Maman wasn't looking.

And Cokie was like, "Whutthe?" and stuck a claw innu Dadda's trouser leg to get his 'tenshun and report he had been Snapped At.

And Dadda was like, "You better mind your p's and q's, son." to the Cokie-Cat, which kind of raised his Aggrivation Factor with Da Dawg onna'count obba Fakt Cokie was Getting Blamed For Sumfing While Being The Injured Party!

Besides which, the Whole Conversation Wasn't Going His Way.

But I was all innerested in Whut Cokie had Said Furst Off, so I turned my ears and hadda look downnaHall and I could just see Beep-the-Udder-Cat making a slinky-exit frumma BafRoom.

And I was like, "Now this is innerestin'."

Now Maman is not good at Canine and she is rilly bad at Feline, but she is preddy proficient in Lagomorphin, so she picked up on my body-language fast and looked downnaHallway just in time to see Whut I Saw, which was Beep slinking downnaHallway, looking *rilly* Guilty-As-Sin.

And Maman was like, "Uh, Brian?"

And Dadda was like, "Whut?"

And Maman said, "Do you remember how I said when the Washing Machine had that plumbing problem that I'd sorted the clothes into piles and left them on the Bathroom floor because I couldn't wash them because the Washing Machine wouldn't work until you fixed the plumbing?"

And Dadda said, "I fixed the plumbing, dear."

And Maman was like, "Yeah, I know that. And everything werks *rilly* well now. But I had to re-wash the towels, and that left the dark things that didn't get done still sitting on the Bathroom floor because I had to do the light things, first."

And I knew enough hoomin to see the "Get-to-the-point-sweetheart" look on Dadda's face. Everybunny who has ever had ennyfing to do with Maman gets that look on their face eventchually, so I know it when I see it, lemme tell you.

But Maman, being Whut Is Called "Oblivious", went on, "So the dark things aren't done yet. They're still in a pile on the Bathroom floor. And you know, your jeans are 'dark things' so they're in that pile. On the Bathroom floor. And I think that's Whut Marc Is Saying - that Beep is just walking out of the Bathroom..."

And right as she said *that*, Dadda jumped up offa the sofa, bowled over both Da Dawg anna Cokie-Cat and went running innu the Bafroom.

Then he came out. Anna Dawg joined him inna Hallway - looking suddinly all Self-important and Highly Indignant - and Dadda yelled,

"BEEP! YOU JUST LOST ONE OF YOUR NINE LIVES!"

And Maman grabbed on to me like sumfing horrybul was gonna happin.

Which was just assa Cokie-Cat got up frum where he landed inna middle of the Sitting Room.

And Cokie was, like, "Cool. Sumbunny's Gettin' In Trubble . I'm gonna go watch." and he started off downnaHallway to join Da Dawg and Dadda as they thundered through the Dining Room togedder. 

Meanwhile, I heard Beep legging it Uppystairs wif Dadda anna Dawg in hot-pursoot.

So Preddy Soon, Dadda came back innu the Sitting Room, and he hadda Dawg with him (still acting all Self-Important and Highly Indignant) and Dadda said to Maman (without looking at her),

"I know we rescued both of those Catz."

And Maman nodded (without looking at him). And I could tell frumma way that she was holding on that she was being Very Protective Of Me.

And Dadda continued, "And I know that we made a life-time commitment to care for them."

And Maman nodded again, and sorta held on to me more tightly. So I waggled my ears to let her know that, you know, hey wady, sumbunny has gotta breathe down heer...

And Dadda went on, "But so help me, if that Cat"

And I knew he meant Beep, not Cokie.

And Dadda took a deep breath, "If that Cat pees outside of her litter-box one more time - ESPECIALLY ON MY JEANS,"

And Maman, still staring straight ahead atta television and holding on to me for dear-life, nodded.

"That cat is going to enjoy a very short life."

So Whut I Want To Tell NBC10 New Atta 11 is that they need to do a follow-up story on this whole Having Cats Adds Years To Your Life fing. Because I suspect that while hoomins may enjoy an increased life-span frum sharing their lives with Catz, I am not too sure about the life-span obba Catz, For Wun Fing.

And sumbunny bedda check the figgers aboudda Increased Hoomin Aggrivation Factors While Living With Catz, too, lemme tell you!

Onna'count obba Fakt that I was wrong, and Stuff does happin around heer in Feburary!

------------------------------------------ By George

Posted by Our Warren at 3:14 PM EST

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You know how I typed that February issa Boring Time to be typing the Hay Diaries blog onna'count obba Fakt that nothing ebber happins in February?

Yeah.

Well, I was wrong, lemme tell you.

Ennyways...it was not my fault.

Yestidday Maman gave Alla Us Togedder our Baby Organic Carrots and then she came back innu the BunRoom with a big armload of towels. And she stuffed alla them innu the washing machine, turned onna wadder and watched that for awhile while she was talking to Us, and she was, like,

"Lookit, we're gonna do laundry tiday. If we don't do it now, Phil will arrive and take over the washing machine and I'll not see it again bifore your Dadda runs outta socks, so I'm getting in a Head Start."

And I'm sitting in my Finking Spot, watching her, and I'm, like, "Hokay. Well, Good Luck with that, but those don't look like Dadda's socks you got in there."

And Maman went on, "So I'm gonna do this load of towels, then put them inna Dryer, and when they're done, then we can all fold towels together. Won't that be fun?"

And right about then, Da Dawg shows up with Wunna His Balls and axts Maman to come on out inna Back Gardin and Play. And Maman was like, "How many times have I told you? I'm not out here to Play Ball With You, Dawg! Go lie down!"

So Da Dawg dropped his ball nextest to Missy-and-My Habbytat and told Maman he hadda go Out On Patrol.

And Maman told him to "Go Lie Down!" onna'count obba Fakt that he'd "Just come in, damnit!" But Da Dawg said it wassa'Mergency, so Maman gave in and afta a Brief Struggle with the Door, managed to Let Him Out - where he stood onna Back Porch Steps, looking over his shoulder at her, axting her to Bring The Ball and Come On Out.

And Maman said unner her breath, "Stoopit Dawg. He does this to me every time I do the laundry!"

And I was like, "Well, you fall for it. I mean, I can't rilly blame him for trying..."

And Maman managed to focus in on me and said, "Shaddup, George."

And I was like, "Shutting up now..." and returned to Finking that Belinda Bunny was Right - Onna'count obba Fakt you can't have Too Good A Grasp Onna Obvious around Maman: it tends to 'Nnoy her.

So Maman struggled wiffa Back Door, got it Opin again and told Da Dawg, "Get in heer." and he did, acting all Waggy and somewhut ashamed because she'd caught him catching her out.

And Maman went off Uppystairs to do summa her "Werk".

So the Washing Machine was going, making it's usual noises, sloshing wadder around and humming and clicking to itself. And everyfing was Preddy Boring, with the towels gedding washed so Maman could make a start on Dadda's socks bifore Phil arrived and took over the Washing Machine. Da Dawg went innu Dining Room and lay down near to his Baskit Ob Balls, just in case sumbunny came that way and felt like Playing With Him.

So I stayed in my Finking Spot, sorta napping, and Missy dozed nextest to me, whin suddinly Little Foxie piped up frum her habbytat unner Dusty and said, 

"Hey, George..."

And I was like, "Whut?"

And Foxie said, "George, did you just miss the pootie-pan inna big way?"

And I was like, "Um, no. Why?"

And Foxie was like, "Look ober heer. Onna'count obba Fakt I gotta lotta hay going past..." and then she went, "Whaaa!" and *THUMPED* as loud as Wun Teeny Bunny can *thump*.

So of course, I jumped right up and hadda look over the side of the Habbytat - and so did Mr Mouse and Dusty and Missy - and we saw this huge, spreading pool of wadder that was rushing right past Foxie!

Well, I am the TopBun of Our Warren, but Mr Mouse was On Daytime 'Lert while Dusty was catching up on his sleep, but none of that mattered onna'count obba Fakt this was a 'Mergency.

So I was like, "Call Da Dawg! We need help!"

So Alla Us Togedder began to *THUMP* anna Dawg came, got his paws wet inna pool of Wadder and he was like, "This shouldn't be heer." because Border-Collies have a Great Grasp Obba Obvious, too.

And I was like, "Go get Dadda!"

So Da Dawg ran off and pretty soon we heard Dadda telling Da Dawg that he was "NOT PLAYING BALL!"

Anna Dawg, for whom the point of his getting Dadda quickly vanished over the top of his head like a stealth bomber, went, "Ball? You wanna play ball, NOW? Well... hokay!".

So I yelled frumma BunRoom, "Nooo, Stoopit!"

And then I heard Dadda say, "Or do you have to go out, son?"

Anna Dawg, who hassa Wun Track Brain is now alla'Lert onna'count obba Fakt he heard the werd "ball" began to bounce and get waggy, was like, "Ball? Outside? Yeah!"

So I yelled, "It's the Wadder! Tell him aboudda Wadder!" and kept *THUMPING* for all I was worth.

And then I heard Dadda walking frumma BedRoom, anna Dawg was dancing along beside him, and then Dadda said, "I wonder whut's up with George and the bunnies?"

But the Dawg was still fixated onna whole "Ball" Issue, and wasn't much help.

So I *THUMPED* some more and Alla Us Togedder yelled "Wadder! Help!"

And Dadda walked innu the Kitchen and saw Hay floating past Foxie.

And he knew right away that sumfing *RILLY BAD* had happined.

So he got sum Kitchen Roll and began wiping uppa floor, and eventually wiped up back far enough that he hadda whole roll of Kitchin Roll soaked with Wadder and the Washing Machine still had more Wadder in it.

So Dadda said sum Bad Werds in Anglo-Saxon that I am not Allowed To Type.

And THEN HE MOVED THE SALAD BANK!

And I was standing there, and *THUMPING* and I'm like, "NOOOOOOO!"

But he moved the Salad Bank Ennyways!

And do you know Whut? There wassa Hole-inna-Floor behind the Salad Bank that hadda Ring-Innit! And Dadda pulled the Ring-Inna-Floor, and up came a Part-Obba-Floor!

And Dadda looked downna Hole-Inna-Floor and then, he turned around, and walked outta the BunRoom and LEFT US THERE!

And Mouse, who was closest toda Hole-Inna-Floor was like, "We're all gonna die."

And I was like, "Is ennyfing coming up frum Down There?"

And Mouse said, "I fink I smell Cellar, like when Phil goes downnaUdderstairs to get stuff frum Maman's Pantry."

And Missy was like, "Well, we ain't gonna die of Cellar." and she went to Occupy the High Ground, onna'count obba Fakt that's Whut Does Do when they take a Defensive Stand for the Warren.

So Dadda came back with Maman and they stood looking atta Washing Machine, and they looked Grim.

And Dadda said to Maman. "I'm going to call Phil and we will replace the drain."

And Maman axted, "The Whole Drain?"

And I was like, "Whutebber *that* is."

And Dadda said, "Yes. The Whole Drain."

And Maman said, "Hokay. We are choiceless, onna'count obba Fakt that we need the Washing Machine - or you will be without socks!"

So Phil came over. And Phil looked down the Hole-Inna-Floor and said, "Well, I been shoved innu smaller holes than that inna Navy."

And Maman said, "That's because you fell Rear-End-Furst through a cargo-net."

And Phil looked at her and said, "At least I fit." and went off with Dadda.

So Phil went DownnaHole-inna-Floor.

And preddy soon, Dadda said, "Well, we gotta move the Bunnies Outta Heer."

And I was like, "Hold on."

But nobunny was listening, and inna few minits, Alla Us Togedder were pushed outta Our BunRoom and innu the DiningRoom. And Phil put the Partition between Mr Mouse and me and said we weren't to "Start Ennyfing", which was preddy stoopit, because there was Dusty not five feet away and he was like, "Noo Terrytory! MINE!"

So I was like, "Nope. Mine." and I carefully got innu the pootie-box and aimed High frumma High Ground. The fing is that Dusty doesn't know about aiming onna'count obba Fakt he is a YoungBun. So I won: I peed over the side and it went onnu Maman's Kitchin Floor.

And just as I figgered, Da Dawg came through on his way toda Back Door and to have a look DownnaHole-inna-Floor at Phil, and tracked through Whut I Did and carried sum right accrost the Kitchin, alla way innu the BunRoom.

So that was settled.

So Most Obba Day was spent with Phil DownnaHole-Inna-Floor and Dadda running up-and-down the Cellar Stairs.

Maman mostly stayed outta the way.

So when it finally was Late and Dark arrived and Phil had gone home, Dadda moved the Salad Bank back where it belonged, and Maman and Dadda mooved Alla Us Togedder back innu The BunRoom.

And Maman saw sumfing onna Kitchin Floor and she said to Dadda, "Okay, who did *this*? Because, look, the Dawg tracked it all over the place!"

And Dadda looked and he thought for a momint and then he said, "Well, George and Missy were there."

And Maman said, "Didn't enyone put uppa Partition?"

And Dadda said, "Well, between Mouse and George."

And Maman said, "Lookit, George and Mouse don't have a problem. It's George and Dusty."

And Dadda said, "But Dusty was all the way in the Dining Room and George was in the Kitchen. Besides, maybe it was Missy."

And Maman said, "Missy doesn't aim. George aims. And see? This was aimed right where the Dawg would come through and track it all over Hell and Creation."

And I was like, "No, only innu the BunRoom to show Who Is TopBun, onna'count obba Fakt the Wadder washed alla Right Smells Away."

And Maman was like, "It was George. I know it was George. GEORGE! What happined? Whut have you done? George! How *COULD* you?"

And I was like, "Whut?"

Onna'count obba Fakt that it's not my fault that Sumfing finally happined in February.

---------------------------------------- by George

!

Posted by Our Warren at 1:09 PM EST

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I wanna type a protest.

A teeny, tiny protest. *flounce*

It's frumma teeny, tiny bunny inna Habbytat Ober Heer that EveryBunny passes by, onna'count obba Fakt that Mr Mouse is feeling Way Too 'Titled, and he Won't Bond!

Uh huh!

*hop-bink*

See, the Fing is...

He won't bond! And *I* will bond. Onna'count obba Fakt that I am Very Teeny-Tiny and Cute. Dadda says so. He calls me "Princess" even though my name is "Foxie" (because I gotta pointed little face!) but he calls me "Princess" because I am so Totally and Adorably, Unbearably Cute!

And I am Nice. Even if I do nippy-nibbly-nibble onna finger or two oncest inna'while, very rarely. *stare*

Unlike Mr Mouse who is a 'Titled Little Grump. *twirl*

And Everybunny passes by me, Inklooding Da Dawg.

So howcome Da Dawg has this huge, big, Great-Big-Whopping-Waggy Furry Tail? And howcome, when he goes by my habbytat, does he feel he hasta bang his Great-Big-Whopping-Waggy Tail uppagainst My Habbytat? *sulk*

I keep trying to get ahold obba Waggy-Tail with my toofies and I can't, onna'count obba way it whips in-and-outta heer like Summer Rain: flip, it's in - whip, it's gone!.

I mean, I know when he's whipping that Waggy-Tail in-and-outta heer Da Dawg is inna Good Mood and he's sharing all his "Happy-Dawg" all over the place with everybun and everyfing, but, you know - *butt-waggle* - he's a pest. Just like Dadda says, Da Dawg issa pest. A smiley, don't-mean-ya-enny-harm pest, but a pest alla'same. And that waggy, pesky tail! Allus going in-and-outta my habbytat...

Which wouldn't be happining if Mr Mouse didn't go around feeling all 'Titled and would axtchually bond with me. *twinkly-bink*

If he would just "share" as Maman says, instead of insisting that he "owns" ebberyfing. *bat-eye-lashes* For all he's a lawyer and everyfing, he hasn't figgered out that it's Alla Us Togedder and nobunny owns ennyfing at all. And That's Whut Missy Said. *stare* And Missy Should Know onna'count obba Fakt that she is Almost An *Elder Bun*, but Not Quite.

But she knows a Whole Lotta Fings. And if you don't believe me, axt George.

Do you know that MissyBun has been heer at Our Warren even longer than George?

Uh huh. *twirl* She came to Our Warren Furst. Then George-Inna-Box, then Mr Mouse and then Dusty-and-Me. Only Missy, George and Mr Mouse bemember The Old Houz. Well, them and The Cokie-Cat. And Da Dawg sorta bemembers it onna'count obba Fakt that he lived inna Old Houz a Little While bifore he came to live heer with Maman's mawmie bifore she went to the Rainbow Bridge. But Dusty, Beep-the-Udder-Cat and I Never Lived At the Old Houz. We only know *this* Houz.

Uh huh, and *I* would bond with Mr Mouse onna'count obba Fakt that he issa lawyer and alla that stuff, and I am a Very Nice and Cute and Teeny-Tiny Teacup Inkwish Spot BunnyRabbit. *hop-binky* And Mouse is cute even if he is old by HouzRabbit Standards. He is going to be Ten! Ten! That's Way Older Than George! Even Older than Missy!

Oops.

Um, well, not older than Da Dawg, though, but the Dawg is ninety-wun in Dawg Years . And Dadda says that Da Dawg has Genuine Senior Momints, too. So he's *rilly* old! *blink* And Cokie-the-Fat-Cat is, like, ten or sumfing, which is almost as old as Phil's Empress KayCee Kitty who is TwelveYears Old! And because she is Twelve Years Old she gets away with Ebberyfing At His Houz! (Shhhh...she peed on his pillow onna'count obba Fakt that she didn't like him giving off gurlfriend cootie-vibes! *bunny-giggle* Empress KayCee issa Very Jellyus Kitty Gurl! But Shhhh! Don't tell!) 

Uh huh. *bounce*

And I would like to be bonded onna'count obba Fakt I don't see why I should be living in this Hospiddle Habbytat, as Maman calls it, where Da Dawg comes by and bangs his Whopping-Great-Furry Tail innuit onna'count obba Fakt he's a happy-Dawg. I mean, that sucks! And I can't grab the Waggy-Tail onna'count obba Fakt that the Waggy-Tail goes in-and-outta heer sooooo fast! *pount* Which is unfair. I should be able to grab on and pull it. Hard. *glare*

But if I was bonded, then I could live up *there* in Mr Mouse's habbytat, if he wasn't Feeling so 'Titled alla'time. I could axt Maman to move alla my Cool Toys, and my Hay Box and my Pootie-box and my Rolly-Bell-Balls up there, too. You know, my Cool Toys are rilly parrot-toys, but I like 'em onna'count obba Fakt they're hangy toys. Mouse doesn't have enny hangy-toys, but I do, and I like to stand up and box at them sumtimes. They are kinda fun. Speshully the wun with the bell on. Uh huh. *bink*

But Mr Mouse won't let me outta The Pootie box when Maman tells him he hasta Share With Me. He shares everything when we are inna Hallway, or onna ScreenPorch, or inna BunPen, or inna BafRoom - but he won't share his habbytat, even afta Dadda and Phil 'bout Froze Their (can't say that werd? Howcome? They said it! Why can't I? Oh, all right! Nebber mind. I won't type it. George, you are such a sissy!) When They About Froze To Death cleaning and washing Mr Mouse's habbytat so it wouldn't smell like Mr Mouse. (There. Hozzat?)  *flounce*

But Mr Mouse *still* wouldn't share with me, although he does a little bit of the grooming Fing if I stick my head alla way up his... (Whut? Whuttayamean I can't type that werd eidder'? Whut is this, censorship? I'm gonna tell Maman on you, George BunnyRabbit!) Well, I did! And Mr Mouse did groom me a little bit and I groomed him back and there was sum half-hearted humping-for-dominance that he wasn't rilly into, but that he did to Keep Up Appearances.

Uh huh *binky-hop* But we aren't bonded and Maman said she doesn't "trust" Mr Mouse to be nice to me onna Reg'lar Basis. Onna'count obba Fakt he is feeling 'Titled.

So then Dadda piks me up. Because I am Soooooo Such A Nice Bunny! And heer I was holding on, lemme tell you! And Dadda said it was "Cute" how I was hanging on to his collar and pulling myself up on his shoulder.

Uh huh. *nose-twitch* YOU trying being the size obba over-grown hamster and sumbunny has you six feets offa floor! Geez! Talk about skert! Of COURSE I WAS HANGIN' ON! It's a LONG WAY DOWN TODA FLOOR Frum The Top Ob Dadda's Shoulder! I'd be a nut-case if I wasn't hanging on for dear life!

Uh huh. *blink* But Dadda doesn't know "snuggle" frum "terror", which is lucky for me onna'count obba Fakt he finks I'm Adorably Snuggly.

Maman says I amma Minnyachur Edishun of Belinda Bunny in Grey. Uh huh. A Teacup Inkwish Spot BunnyRabbit. Dadda says I have Cute Bunnitude. *Periscope*

Axtchually, I can box and *grunt* just like Mr Mouse only better onna'count obba Fakt I am Teeny and Cute. I am even Teenier Than Mouse. He is Small. I am Teeny. Uh huh.

Mr Mouse is old and grumpy. I am tiny and feisty. *bink* And I can popcorn all over the place, and go *rilly*, *RILLY* fast! And so fast that nobun can catch me! Wheeee!  *binky-binky-bink!* But, mostly I get stuck in corners onna'count obba Fakt that I can't figger out how to get outta'em. *bop-hop*  Two walls, wun Dadda - that preddy much cuts down on your number of available exits.

But still. *blink*

This issa protest by a teeny, tiny bunny.

There is Too Much Happy-Waggy Dawg Tail and Too Much Going By My Habbytat. I demand *thump* that I get bonded! Right Away!

Bond me!

Bond me!

Bond me!

Uh huh! *bounce-thump-foot-flick*

So if Mr Mouse won't share, howa'bout I share wif Dusty? Hey Dusty! *stare* You got room up there! Moove over, Bunny! I wanna share!

----------------------------------- By Foxie (with George)

Posted by Our Warren at 10:01 AM EST

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It is hard to come up with Fings to type about in February!

Everything is the Same!

I guess that is good inna way, onna'count obba Fakt that Maman says being bored means that Nothing Has Gone Wrong Yet.

I can kinda see her point.

And, being a Bunny, I like things to roll along onna Reg'lar Basis, with Treats coming at their Proper Times and Salad Time arriving When It Should. There are some fings a Bunny Needs to Depend Upon!

But Onna'Udder Paw, it makes it so that I don't have much to type about inna Hay Diaries Blog every day. I mean, who wants to hear that the Biggest Fing inna Day is that Dadda went off to Township Hall to axt them why The Tax Office can't figger out Who Own The Houz? The Tax Office keeps finking it's Maman's Dadda (who was Our Bim) and Mawmie, but they have gone on to the Rainbow Bridge Years Ago, and Maman had that Bob-the-Lawyer-Guy (Who Hassa Goldfish) give them papers that said so and everyfing - but according to Dadda, the Tax Office still doesn't Get It. Maman says they could at least make her et ux, or even et filia  but they won't even do *that*. It's like after eight years they have never heard of  Maman - with or without her legal, married name, like mebbe they are listening to gossip mongrels again or sumfing

As Missy said, all they have to do is to go down to Saint Luke's and look inna Register, and ennyways, here is a pikchur that was taken onna porch of Saint Luke's Church on Saturday, 9 September, 2000 of  me,Hunny-and-Maggie in their baskets as Weddingbunnies, happining right inna Township and not sumwhere in Inkland or enny place else, and *that* is Right Inna Lore - and you don't fink Maggie-and-me,Hunny would bother to be tricked out like that for enny wedding other than Maman's and Dadda's, do you?

So Dadda is gonna go axt them In Person WhutssamattaWiff'em.

And with the Tax Office Guy saying They Can Never Be Wrong and Dadda Knowing That He Is Right, this Should Be Inner'restin', Maman says.

The Fakt obba matter issat the taxes are allus paid, and Maman should know onna'count obba Fakt that she has been paying them since Seven Years Ago for her Mawmie when her Mawmie was sick. As Maman says, "As long as the taxes are paid and the township gets munny, they don't care *who* signs the cheque."

Which seems to be Troo.

Now Our Mayor lives in Our Neighbourhood. I fink he hassa Dawg. I don't hold this against him onna'count obba Fakt a lot of Perfectly Nice Neighbours have Dawgs living in their homes. MaryBethNextestDoor has two dawgs, Lilly and Penny who are Nice Dawgs and she is a Perfectly Nice Neighbour!

Whut bothers me is Catz that used to be Indoor Catz that sumbunny has left to be Outdoor Catz. Now they are running wild all over the place, with no homes of their own, no food of their own, no wadder bowls and no Roolz. Sum obba Catz even have the Nerve to come innu Our Back Gardin! They are all OnAlone with nobunny to care for and nobunny to care about them! Once they had homes and people, but now they are just kicked out to live or die on their onliest!

Can you believe that?

Yeah.

And so they are out there - strange Catz in Our Gardin.

Sumbunny just isn't taking responsibility for them and has let them go. Now they are becoming Feral, and they are running through alla Back Gardins, killing off birds and squirrels, and sneaking through the bushes.

And the most horribul part issat there usta be a Liddle Cottontail Bunny living unner'neaf obba Frunt Porch. She only lived inna Frunt Yard, onna'count obba Fakt that Maman used pooties onna Back Gardin and the Little Cottontail Bunny was too well-mannered to invade anudder bunny's terrytory. And Maman usta put out clean wadder for the Little Cottontail Bunny and summa Our Hay and Our Pellets for her, too. 

But then the Irresponsible People let their Catz run free inna neighbourhood.

And although Maman and Dadda both chased the catz away frumma Frunt Gardin, the Little Cottontail Bunny hasn't been seen again.

So Maman is VERY sad and angry that there are alla these Catz running around through the back gardins, hunting and killing and looking for fings to eat because their owners are irresponsible and fink if their cat hunts a Little Cottontail Bunny, "It's Just A Bunny."

It's not "Just A Bunny" to us!

Maman says she'd like to confront the irresponsible person, whomever it is, who  let the catz run wild and who says, "It's Just A Bunny", and say to them, "Guess whut? You're Just A Jerk."

But as Maman also says, she rilly can't do that onna'count obba Fakt that would be Uncharitable, and show Whut A Rilly Mean Sort of Person She Can Be If She Lets Herself Go.

But whenever I hear the catz out inna Back Gardin, I *THUMP* to let the Dawg know that there are Catz out there and axt him to chase them for me. Anna Dawg has NO PROBLEM chasing those Catz outta Our Back Gardin every chance he gets. He won't hurt them, but he makes them leave at TOP SPEEDS onna'count obba Fakt that they don't belong in Our Back Gardin.

They are Not Our Catz!

Our Catz live Uppystairs in their own Apartmint and never, ever go outside. They do not kill birds and they do not ever have to hunt for their food. They do not kill udder animals and they do not steal around in sumbunny else's bushes. Maman and Dadda make sure that Our Catz go do the V-E-Ts and have clean pootie-boxes, and go to the Spa.

As Maman says, she and Dadda take care of Our Catz. Beep is Spayed and Cokie is Neutered. The person who owns these Outdoor Catz should take responsibility for them, and care about them! And they should have them spayed and neutered so that no innocent kittens come innu the werld, and make sure that the catz are clean and healthy, and well-fed. Catz that are forced to hunt for food get sick easily and never have enough to eat.

Hoomins who just let catz go inna neighbourhood are selfish and irresponsible. They should not be allowed to own catz or enny udder critters.

The Fakt that the Mean Catz hunted down the poor Little Wild Cottontail Rabbit that used to live unner'neaf obba Frunt Porch issa Tragedy! How could sumbunny let this happin? Doesn't ennybunny care?

How can ennybunny look at rows and rows of trusting white rabbit faces lined up in collars inna laboratory, knowing that horribul fings are gonna happen to those sweet faces - and then not care about those bunnies? How can ennybunny just turn away and say, "It's Just A Rabbit"?

So I thought it was Good News when Maman told me that the Gubbermint Laboratories have said that they will No Longer Test for Toxics on Small Animals!

Yeah!

So millions of Bunny Lives will be saved!

Of course that means that about a million new bunny homes will need to be found for these Big White Bunnies who will no longer be used for Laboratory Testing - but with their sweet faces, I know Good People will 'dopt them!

Maman says she has allus wanted a Big White Bunny.

Our Cousin Norman in SoCal (whose Mawmie is Auntie Carla of HareWEAR!) is a Big White Bunny. Norm issa'speshully cooperative Big White Bunny Who Wears Hats. Auntie Carla sent Maman this pikchur of Norman wearing his Noo Easter Hat.. 

I am currently a Small NZ. That's whut Dr Sharin has down on my Medical History where it says "breed" - "Small NZ" - which means that I am a small Big White Bunny. I have the big ears and typical body-shape of the typical Big White Bunny, and the big feets with the long toes. It's just that there issa silver smudge on my nose. But I am also currently growing. Mostly Growing 'Tellygint, but still Growing, so I might become a Big White Bunny, yet.

Yeah!

So that's about All That Is Going On Heer.

February is a slow month at Our Warren. Alla Us Togedder are mostly just bizzy growing, which issa sorta single, solitary type of Fing that's done with Reg'lar Treats and Meals On Time.

Mouse is still watching Law & Order. Maman says she sorta wishes he'd branch out a little, and maybe watch anudder show called NCIS onna'count obba Fakt it seems to have aircraft carriers on it. Maman still likes television shows 'bout The Navy and axts Phil questions like, "Whut ship issat?" It seems that ships have numbers as well as names, anna Navy rents them out to have pictures taken for television. Even old ships. Maman was watching sumfing called "Master and Commander" and sure enough, there were rilly old ships and more Navy, all rented out to have their pictures taken for the television!

Our Bim usta build ships to put on top obba pianos. Heer issa pikchur ob Wunna Bim's Ships that is onna piano inna Living Room. Maman doesn't let Us touch it, though.

I watched summa that Master and Commander show onna'count obba Fakt it had ships in it, but then a Cokie-cat came to sit onna sofa, so I left. There was too much yelling going on, ennyways, and I don't like loud.

So that's preddy much all that has happined besides the specific Fings I've typed about. To be honest, I'm having a hard time coming up with Fings to Type About!

But like Maman says, boring is sumtimes good onna'count obba Fakt it let's you know whut Real Trubble Looks Like When It Happins!

--------------------------------------  By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:24 AM EST

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Finally! I am back to the 'puter! I dunno why hoomins can't unner'stand that Bunnies are Creatures Of Habit. We Like Schedules. We Thrive On Reg'lar. And, as everybunny knows, The Bunny Is Allus Right.

You can look it up.

Yeah.

It's inna Bunny Bill of Rights.

You know, I find it distressing when I hear sumbun say, "I dunno why 'dat bunny allus has to go round the edges of a room, snipping wires." or "My HouzBunny has a wire-snipping fetish."

Hokay, Furst Of All, it's not "your" bunny (but this isn't the time to get innu the whole "Companion Animal" debate. Let's just say that frum Where We Sit - occupying the High Ground - hoomins provide the Forever Home and We Furnish it with Love. Hozzat?). 

But ennyways, No Bunny has a Fetish. Try to Get Over It. Having a "Fetish" is Trying To Assign Hoomin Values to a HouzRabbit, and That's Not Valid (as Maman Would Say).

HouzRabbits have Schedules or Habits or Species Imperitives, and Wunna Them is going around the edges of rooms, snipping wires and moving Things In Our Way onna Reg'lar Basis.

HouzRabbits go around the edges of a room because we treat the rooms Where We Live like we would enny Territory, like Our Burrows frum a coupla'hunnert years ago when we still lived Inna Wild and Inna Wild, there is One Rool: Stay Safe. That means that All Vines and Rocks gotta be outta the way of Hext'scape Routes. Because if you gotta Make A Run For it, vines and inconvenient rocks can make you trip, and lose time. When you're Running For Your Life, even the loss of a Split Second is Important!

So you gotta Be Prepared.You circle the boundaries of your Warren's Territory BIFORE there are Predators - and there will Allus Be Predators! - and you Move Those Rocks and Snip Those Vines so that there is Nothing In Your Way In Case of Emergency.

Why do you fink I'm so Big Onna Idea of Emergency Preparedness? Onna'count obba Fakt that I amma Rabbit! And Rabbits have survived for thousands of years precisely BECAUSE we are Prey!

We know Whut It Is Like to be hunted! It is in Our Genetic Code - or, rather, as Maman says, we Bunnies have a Species Memory of Outwitting Death.

Yeah.

Being Prey is part of Every-Bunny's Species Unconscious. 

Bet you didn't know that.

Hokay, well, It Is Troo. Anna Species Unconscious issa Heritage of Our Terrible Past as Prey.

Fink about it This Way: If you had spent a coupla'hunnert thousand years being chased down to be the main course on sumbunny else's dinner menu, you'd have a preddy Nervous Species Unconscious, too!

And Snipping Vines and Moving Rocks Outta the Way to keep your Hext'scape Routes clear would Unner'standab'ly be High on your Species' List of Priorities!

It would become One Of Those Important Skills you'd learn from your Granny and pass on down to those Younger Than You. It would become Part Of Your Lore. Knowing to always, Furst Fing every day, as Reg'lar assa Moon Rising, go along the edges of Your Territory, clearing the Hext'scape Routes of Vines and Rocks; it would become a Valuable Duty that would be carried out onna Regular Basis by certain bunnies for the Good Of The Warren.

So that even when Bunnies ceased to live inna Wild and took up living in Houzes, they continue to keep Escape Routes Clear and Safe - onna'count obba Fakt that you don't blow off a coupla-thousand years of Successful Evolutionary Hextperience just onna'count obba Fakt there is currently a Roof Ober Your Head.

You never know when you might have to go back to the Burrows and all the Hextperiences that have Werked Out Hokay inna past might come in useful inna Future. You never know, lemme tell you!

Which is WHY bunnies like Missy still come innu a room - ENNY ROOM - and trundle around the perimeter, snipping "vines" and moving "rocks" outta the way. And she does it EVERY DAY just in case the "vines" (wires) she snipped The Day Bifore has been replaced (as is so often the case when you're Living Assa Urban Rabbit) or in case sumbunny has put down a fresh pile ob rocks (buks) that is now 'Fishully Inna Way.

So This Is Why HouzRabbits Value Regularity and Habit, and Why We Get Upset, when Sumbunny Comes Along and Changes Fings Without Axting Us! Our Species Imperative has been Informed by Generations of Evolutionary Success - in udder werds, we've managed to get this far by keeping The Exits Clear Onna Regular Basis. And we are not about to go Screwing It Up now by giving up Habits That Werk.

So, you know, Alla Us Togedder just hate it when our Schedules Get Inner'rupted. Missy can't check for Vines and Rocks. I don't get my Blog Updated. Dusty doesn't get his Ration of Pets. Mouse doesn't get to study Law & Order, and Foxie doesn't get to Help Him. These are Fings that Need To Be Done Onna Reg'lar Basis!

The Vines and Rocks (wires and buks) might come back to trip us up in case we gotta make a mad dash for safety inna dark! (And that's the Whole Logic of it, you know. Inna Burrows, you are guided by the feel of a wall on your side, onna'count obba Fakt there is no light. And when you are running at top speeds with the Whole Rest Obba Warren, you NEED that pathway to be clear so you Don't Trip and Cause a Pile-Up of Struggling Bunnies. An Evacuation - s'speshully when there are Youngbuns and Kits involved - has to go Smoothly! Which is Why Sumbunnies are allus In Charge of Keeping Up Those Patahways around the edges of a room - where there issa wall to guide you - opin and free of Obstacles, lemme tell you!)

Nobunny can bemember a time when we DID NOT DO THIS, and it has become a Rool in Our Species' Unconscious that It Must Be Done! 

So when you see a bunny going around a room every day, looking for wires, or when the Companion HouzBunny that lives with you allus snips a wire that you've just replaced, now You Know Why: It is Our Speices' Unconscious At Werk For Us.

Which is also Why We Love Habits. You do sumfing Everyday and it's allus done. You can Depend on Done. And When You are Used to Being Prey, you NEED to depend on Sumfing. That is how You Stay Alive. And it is how You Make Sure that Udders Stay Safe. Make A Plan, Practice the Plan, then you Don't Have Panic onna'count obba Fakt that You Have The Plan.

See how that werks?

Yeah. Well, Fings keep Going on Heer at Our Warren that Get Inna Way of Maman's plans, that mess up Our Plans and Inner'Rupt Our Schedule.

And then Udder Species Around Heer wonder why we're not Hext'actly Inna Best Mood.

Like Yestidday.

Phil arrived at Eight O'clock Inna Morning, just as Maman was standing beside the Salad Bank, pouring her Second Cuppa Coffee. The Standing Clock inna Living Room had just got finished chiming Eight Times and she had just come down frum Uppystairs when the doorbell rang.

Which Set Offa Dawg.

Now, Da Dawg came wiffa Built-in Who-Is-Atta-Door IdentifyKayshun and Alarm System and wunna his Main Jobs as a Border Collie, besides Guarding (both The Houz - which means Us - and Maman - which is a whole 'nuther job on it's own) is Door Answering. 

Door Anwering is a multiple-skill Job, which means that when the doorbell rings, Da Dawg must perform several fings All At Once: he hasta jump up frum where-ebber he is, and run flat-out to the Frunt Door as fast as he can, while atta same time figging out who is onna udder side obba door, and giving the ApproPriate Identifying Bark to 'lert Maman Who Is Onna Porch, ringing the doorbell. Andditionally, Our Dawg has a Speshul Bark for Each Person Inna Warren, which 'Lerts me, assa Top Bun of Our Warren as to Whut's Going On.

So Da Dawg has Wun Kinda Bark for Dadda, and Wun Kinda Bark for Phil, and Two kinds of Bark for Sista Beffy, depending on if she has Baby Anya with her or not. It's all part of Whut Da Dawg Does assa Service Dawg for Maman who loses her balance easily (speshully if Da Dawg runs her down on his way to the Door, but that's a Whole 'nuther bunny...).

So ennyways...

The doorbell rang and Set Offa Dawg and so he charged past Maman, going, like, a coupla'hunnert miles-an-hour, and he's barking, "It'sPhil!It'sPhil!It'sPhil!" and he's bouncing up-and-down, all kinds of happy and waggy - because he's a Border-Collie and he's Doing His Job, and there is nothing happier than a Border-Collie Doing His Job. They live for that stuff.

And Mouse said to me, "You know, if that doorbell hadn't rung Just Then, we were gonna get Baby Organic Carrots."

And I watched Maman totter off through the Dining Room, and I said to Mouse, "Yeah. There goes Our Snack."

And Missy was like, "Whaaaaa!" because my Beautiful BunWife of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns can't bear to see food vanishing over the horizon.

And Mouse said to me, "I bet she fortygeds about Us."

And I said, "Bet you're right." Onna'count obba Fakt he and I both knew that Maman is Easily Distracted.

And not only *that*, but Phil, being her Kidlet and having Grown Up preddy much attached to her, knows how to distract her frum whatever she is doing and get her to Concentrate On Him. He's gotten Very Good at monopolizing her 'Tenshun over the years and is now a Qualified Hext-pert at Corraling and Holding Maman's Wandering 'Tenshun.

So, sure enough, Phil came in and started talking to Maman and she totally fortygot alla'bout Giving Us our Baby Organic Carrots!

So Dusty started to stomp and threw his toys all over his habbytat inna Effort to Bemind Maman of Whut She Was Gonna Do BIFORE she was inner'rupted. But, of course, she was Distracted, listening to Phil, and wasn't paying enny 'Tenshun to Dusty (although you gotta hand it to the Litte Guy, he can make a Lotta Noise when he sets that walnut-sized miniLop mind to it, lemme tell you!).

And Missy sat there inna BunRoom and gave both Maman and Phil "Whaaaa!" Disapproving Bunny Looks, but it wasn't Getting Her Anywhere, onna'count obba Fakt that Phil was keeping Maman Distracted by Still Talking to her inna Dinging Room.

So there was Rilly Nothing *to* do, 'cept to Sit There, so I sat there and tried to be Philosphical 'bout it. Onna'count obba Fakt I knew Maman would come to her senses Eventually. AND, My Schedule was shot ennyways; I felt my The Hay Diaries Blog Entry slipping away like Mist Onna River when Maman started making even *more* coffee and Phil found *His* cup inna cupboard.

So then, Phil came innu the BunRoom while the coffee was going through It's Maker, and he stopped by on his way to get milk frum the Salad Bank to see Dusty. And Phil knew about the "PET-THE-BUNNY" sign that is only visible to Sus'pectable Pet Peeble. And he stopped by to obey the sign to PetTheBunny. Then Foxie was doing her Cute and Phil petted her onna'count obba Fakt that Their Habbytats are closest to the Doorway to the Kitchin, and nobun can resist Foxie.

And Mr Mouse, who was just across the way from Dusty and Foxie was giving Phil the RBB, and looking over his shoulder to make sure Phil Got the Point that he's been given the RBB inna Furst Place.

Now you gotta unner'stand that The RBB is The Royal Bunny Butt - a bunny turning his back on you. It also issa Very, Very Old Lagomorphan insult - because nothing says "You suck." inna burrow, like the sight of sumbunny's rear end clogging up the tunnel and Not Moving. And, of course, part of Giving sumbunny the RBB is looking back over your shoulder to make sure that your butt is properly placed and that the Intended Party has noticed it, and is suitably 'nnoyed by the sight of it. 

So Mouse had Very Obviously *turned his back* on Phil and was now giving him a good Display of Tail. Nobunny can give such elaboratly insulting tail as Mr Mouse! He *rilly* can get up-close-and-personal with it! We're talking right-in-your-face RBB!

So Mouse was giving Phil the RBB for Diverting Maman's 'Tenshun and making her Fortyged about handing around our Baby Organic Carrots, and Mouse has got his nice, round little Polish Silver Dwarf butt pressed firmly uppy'gainst the side of his habbytat, which meant that his tail was sorta sticking out through the habbytat. And Mouse was looking back over his shoulder at Phil, and giving him a Rilly Good Glare.

And Phil bent down, so that he and Mr Mouse were both onna Same Level. And just as Mouse went to deliver the Final Insult by sticking his nose up inna air and turning away frum Phil - Phil reached up, and he TWEAKED MOUSE'S TAIL!

And he said, "Bunny Butt!"

And *laughed*!

Well...

Mr Mouse honked, and sprang up innu the air, and he spun around one-hunnert-and-eighty degrees, so that he landed alla-way onna Udder Side of his Habbytat, facing Phil. And he started grunting furiously onna'count obba Fakt that he was Wun Angry Rabbit who had just had His Diggity Destroyed.

And Phil continued to chuckle, and he went innu the Salad Bank and came out with a Big Bag of Baby Organic Carrots. And he opined them up and gave SIX (not four!) to Missy and Me, and even bemembered to say,

"Here ya go TopBunny George and MissyBun." And he didn't call her "Bug-A-Lugs" so that made her happy, and he bemembered that I am the Top Bunny in Our Warren, and that made me happy.

Then he dropped a Baby Organic Carrot innu Dusty's habbytat. Unfortunetly, the Furst Wun landed on Dusty's Head, but there was No Harm Done - that has happined bifore and it only serves to 'Lert Dusty that there Is Going To Be Carrots. For Sum Reason that Maman has Yet To Figure Out, Dusty won't accept treats frum her hand. He can't seem to find them unless they are in his food crock. Even if she puts the carrot *between his bunny-lips* he gets so hextcited finking he's gonna get-a-pet that he just ignores the baby organic carrot. So Maman has concluded that all Treats For Dusty have to go Innu Dusty's Food Crock.

So Phil landed the Second Baby Organic Innu Dusty's Food Crock. And as soon as Dusty heard it go *tink* innu his Food Crock, he stuck his nose in, grabbed the Baby Organic Carrot and dashed off with it. This is onna'count obba Fakt that Dusty issa Member of Little Rainbow Ashy's "Runs With Food" Club.

Then Phil gave Baby Organic Carrots to Foxie and she was very Lady-like about it and didn't even nip him once even though he wasn't Dadda.

So that took him to Mouse, who was hunched in his corner, grunting and bouncing up-and-down like a gimmie-pig on steroids.

And Phil was like, "Hey Mouse. Wanna carrot?"

And Mouse said sumfing in lagomorphin that won't translate well innu Inkwish, but hassa *lot* to do with Phil's general species and ancestry.

And Phil held out a Baby Organic Carrot. And he was like, "Hey come on, buddy. You stick out your tail, you know someone is bound to tweak it."

And Mouse was still grumbling.

And Phil was like, "I got your carrot, Mr Mouse."

So Mouse, who *rilly* isn't a Bad Bunny at heart, hopped across the habbytat and grabbed the carrot outta Phil's hand, and began to run off with it. But Mouse just can't resist having "the last werd" inna argumint, so he hadda add in a coupla'FootFlicks-of-Distain while he was at it...

And Phil knew 'zactly whut FootFlicks meant in Lagomorphin onna'count obba Fakt he's been Flicked Off by Belinda Bunny enough times inna Past to know Whut That Means!

So Phil managed to go, "Poke!" and prodded Mr Mouse right inna Nether Regions on the fly, while he was hopping away with the Baby Organic Carrot!

And Mr Mouse was like, *HONK!*

And Phil laughed at him *again*!

And I was over with Missy, eating my carrots and I was, like, "Whoa."

And Maman came innu the BunRoom and she said to Phil, all suspicious-like, "Are you messing with my bunnies?"

And Phil was like, "Oh no. I just gave everybun carrots." And he held up the bag. Then he looked at Maman, all innocent-like, and he said, "Gotta love that Mouse  'Bunnitude'!"

And Maman looked at Phil and her eyes narrowed and she said, "I don't care Whut You Say. You're messing up my schedule."

And Phil was like, "You are getting just like your rabbits, Ma. Loosen up a little!"

And Maman shook her head, and she was like, "I dunno. Schedules are there for a reason. Wun of These Days you're going to be glad I have schedules for you to mess up."

And Missy looked up with a mouthful of carrot and said to me, "She's right. Wunna These Days sumbunny is gonna wake up toda Fakt dat it's Troo: 'The Bunny Is Allus Right', and they will fank me!"

And I was like, "Fank you for whut?"

And Missy said, "Bein' a HouzRabbit. Clearin' vines and snippin' wires and stuff; insisting that My Way Is Right. Onna'count obba Fakt that it *is*. Rabbits: We're Right anna Werld Issn't."

------------------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:31 PM EST

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Well, it's Valentine's Day!

Normally this would be a Hoomin Fing, but I figger that Enny Day that is about Love has Gotta Be Good for EveryBunny. I mean, look at it This Way, if EveryBunny could practice being More Loving, just for Tiday, that would be Preddy Cool.

Like take a 'Fer'Instince: Sumbun is finking: "I wuld like to add a Companion Animal to my Life. I did alla Research online onna Werld Wide Web and I fink a (_insert-name-of-Campanion-Animal-of-Your-Choice-heer_) will be a good fit for My Family."

And then, since you have done Alla Pre'liminary Werk, you figger, "And tiday is Valentine's Day, that is Alla'bout Love. Which issa *Rilly* Good Day to Begin My Search for a Forever Friend!"

Yeah!

So Tiday you visit a Shelter that is FULL of FOREVER FRIENDS!

See how that werks?

Because enny day you go to a Shelter you just know that EVERY DAY inna Shelter could possibly be your Very Own Valentine's Day - onna'count obba Fakt that it is Just Fulla Companion Animals who are Fulla Love - and Wun Could Be Waiting There for You!

Yeah!

And if your Pa'Tik'lar Forever Friend isn't atta Shelter tiday, on Valentine's Day, go back Tomorrow, onna'count obba Fakt that she or he might be running a day or two late onna'count obba Fakt that Stuff Happins. But Shelters are Fulla Companion Animals that are Fulla Love, all Looking For Forever Friends.

And also, since Tiday is Valentine's Day, and it's Alla'Bout Love, then mebbe we can all Show More Love just going through the day.

You know, like Mr Mouse did not pee onna Dawg tiday.

And that was even afta Da Dawg stuck his nose innu Mouse's habbytat , and surprised the Heck Outta Him - onna'count obba Fakt that Maman Waked Up Late, and we were all kinda Dozing, then Suddinly Heer Comes Maman, like a Freight Train inna Bloo Bafrobe (hexcept it issa Red Royal Stewart Plaid bafrobe she's wearing atta momint that she found inna box marked "M & S" that she found Uppystairs inna Attik... ennyways...)

So heer comes Maman anna Dawg is trotting afta her onna'count obba Fakt that he *rilly* needs to go Out On Patrol.

But As Usual, Maman can't Gedda Back Door Opin.

So while she is struggling Wiffa Back Door, Da Dawg (being polite) comes to stick his nose innu Our Habbytats to say "Good Morning, howyadoin'" and Stuff Like That - which Usually Resuslts inna Dawg getting hay Up His Snoot or sumfing and Sneezing it Out All Over Sumbunny.

Usually the SumBunny (unless it is Dusty who doesn't seem to mind because he issa 'Tenshun Sponge and finks Enny 'Tenshun is Good, no matter Whut Kind of 'Tenshon it is!) but usually, the SumBunny who gets Sneezed on Takes It The Wrong Way and gets 'Nnoyed Wiffa Dawg.

There is Only So Much Snot you can stand, lemme tell you!

So that's how Da Dawg, (who is just Being Friendly) can get peed on, s'speshully by a bunny wif Wun Short Fuse, like Mr Mouse. I mean, afta all, when you have been to Princeton, and you are studying to pass your Salad Bar and watched Jack McCoy try case afta case on Law & Order, and Studied Engineering on Dadda's desk, and ebberyfing, you are Wun Serious HouzRabbit! Dawg Snoots (no matter how Wellin'Tended) in your Habbytat, while you are Minding Your Own Biznizz or concentrating on Doing Your Cute to get Baby Organic Carrots at Eight O'clock Inna Morning, are not 'zaktly Whut You'd Call 'Welcome'.

But onna'count obba Fakt that tiday is Valentine's Day anna Day About Love, Mr Mouse did not pee onna Dawg.

Maman gotta door opin Just in Time anna Dawg Rushed Out so he could get on with Counting His Squirrels which is allus the start of The Morning Patrol.

And onna'count obba Fakt that tiday is Valentine's Day anna Day Fulla Love, he came back Inna Houz All Wet & Muddy onna'count obba Fakt that he took Extra Time and Effort to Mark *Alla* Boudaries along The Fence, even though with alla Rain Yestidday and Last Night, there issa Whole Deep Lake that reaches halfway uppa Gardin through which he hadda splash. He says it's a Regular Flood Out there, but he Percey-Vered (Like Auntie Grace's Maine Coon cat. Maine Coons are Very Good at Keeping On at Whut They Want Until They Get it!).

So Da Dawg showed his Devotion to Duty and Splashed his way through the Whole Huge Lake inna Back Gardin and Got Wet & Muddy, marking *Alla* Boundaries even though it is Cold Out, onna'count obba Fakt he is Showing How Much He Loves his Jobs and His Pack, which Would Be Alla Us Togdder, on Valentine's Day!

So he was more than a Liddle Surprised When Dadda said, "Mucky Dawg!" when he came back in, dripping wadder everywheres onna floor and Dadda hadda rub him down wiffa towel and then Mop The Floor.

But it just Goes To Show You how even Da Dawg is showing Extra Love Tiday on Valentine's Day!

Yeah!

Even Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is Getting In On Valentine's Day.

This morning, Dadda came innu Maman's Study and sat down onna Foo-Ton, nextest to Cokie.

And Cokie, who had Not Been Doing ennyfing previously, started ME-owing and poking Dadda Energetically Inna Buttocks with his paw.

And Dadda's trying to talk to Maman about His Plans for the Day, and there's Cokie, ME-owing, and prodding Sum Serious Buttock.

And Dadda was, like, "Lookit Cat, if you don't get your claws out of my bum, we are going to have a Serious Falling Out."

And Cokie was like, "ME-ow?" with his eyes *rilly* big, like saucers.

So Dadda turned away and Cokie was like, "Hey! I was trying to tawk to yooo!  Hey! Dadda! Whuta'bout ME-ow? I Looooove yoooo!" and went back to prodding.

So Dadda stopped talking to Maman and looked back at Cokie and said, "Listen, Son. If you don't shut up and keep those claws to yourself, Phil is going to get some new guitar strings and I'm getting a pair of furry slippers!"

Anna Cokie-Cat, "But Hey Yoooo! I can't Loooove you if you don't Pay 'Tenshun To ME-ow!"

So Dadda reached over, grabbed the Cokie Cat inna head-lock, rubbed his head, fluffed out alla his whiskers, massaged his ears and gave him a kiss-onna-nose.

Anna Cat was purring, like, "That's right. I hadda 'Nnoy you to get your 'Tenshun so I could give you sum 'Feckshun. Now pay ME MORE 'Tenshun so I can walk all over you to show you how much I *rilly* care!"

Anna Cokie Cat stood up and pushed against Dadda so hard (onna'count obba Fakt he loves Dadda *that* much!) that he almost pushed Dadda offa the Foo-Ton and on toda Floor of Maman's Study.

So if you love Animals, Today issa Day to show it. If you love ennybunny, Today issa Day to show it. Tiday is Valentine's Day, when there is Extry Love Alla'Round.

If you have been meaning to make a donation to a shelter, do it Tiday.

If you're looking for a Forever Friend or Companion Animal, Tiday issa Great Day to go to a Shelter to start your Search!

Romance is only Temp'rary, and ennybun can find *that*. Romance can even be Made Up outta boxes and chocolates and flowers and ribbons and lace and pretty rocks. Ennybun can make up Romance, so of course it won't last.

But you can't just make up Love. Love isn't the stuff for Wun Day Only, although it can Start Wun Day. Love is Love, and it is Preddy Amazin' Stuff. Valentine's Day issn't about Temp'rary Stuff like Romance. Valentine's Day is about Love, and that is much Stronger Stuff.

But Love can Start Wun Day - like Tiday!

And If there can be Wun Day to Show DeddyKayShun to an ideal, like Earth Day, or Maman's "Meatless Fridays" or "Mothers Day" (and then there are alla Whut Maman Calls "Hallmark Days", but I won't go innu that onna'count obba Fakt that it will just Get Her Started)

Ennyways...

Valentine's Day issa Wunnerful Day to show Love to Everybunny!

I wunder Whut The Werld would be like if everybun showed Love to Everybunny else? Whut If Every Day could be Valentine's Day for Alla Us Companion Animals?

---------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:40 PM EST

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Maman said that we're Inna Ice Storm.

Yeah.

It began as a Snow Storm, but fings changed over night and Now there is the Tail End of an Ice Storm going on, and the Beginnings of a Flood Warning. The Stone Warren in Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Rose & Herb Gardin are all shiny with a glaze of ice, the Back Garden is Wun Grey Sheet and Maman is afriad to let Da Dawg go Out On Patrol in case he Slips and Falls.

So this is 'Fishully Messed Up.

Maman also said there will be No Morning Hay onna'count obba Fakt the Hay Locker is Sealed Up Tight.

With Ice.

So that's a Bummer.

And Mr Mouse said he isn't Shure, but he's Pretty Shure that he can hear Wadder Dripping outside the Door-To-The-ScreePorch that is Nextest to His Habbytat, which prob'ly means that the ScreenPorch, where it hooks on to the Rest Obba Houz, is either Parting Company Wiffa Rest Obba Houz or else it hassa Leak In Its Roof.

Eidder Way, Maman says, there is Nothing She Can Do About It Now, 'cept wait for the Flood Watch to End, the Precippytashun to Stop, and then Call Sumbun to Take A Look At It and Tell her How Much It Will Cost to Fix Whut's Wrong. She said it's Anudder Wun of Those Fings that's all set to Drive Her Nutz, but hasn't Happined Yet. She calls it An InSippyAnt DisAssTer (insect sucked through a beverage straw + lady that backed innu an airplane propeller. Please try to keep up.).

So Maman said to Us (after she'd 'Nnoyed Mr Mouse by moving him all around to make "Wun-hunnert p'sent sure" that there was no wadder threatening to come in or around on him or ennyfing),

"To hell with it."

And got out milk for her Big Cuppa Coffee and then stumbled Uppystairs on her Onliest, leaving a trail of coffee drops that Kept Da Dawg Amused, and Not Much Else. I don't fink she slept very well lastest night onna count obba Fakt I kept on hearing her Commit Serial Sneezing.

So that's aNudder Bummer.

So Dadda just Waked Up and Tried to Let Da Dawg Out On Patrol. Da Dawg stood atta Back Door, stuck his nose out and sniffed for a Minit, then turned to Dadda and said,

"No Fanks. No Job, No Go. You go, I go, but Udderwise, forgedabouddit."

Then he turned around and came by Missy and Me and said, "As Dadda says, 'Bugger that for a game ob soldiers!' onna'count obba Fakt no self-respecktin' Dawg is gonna go out in that! Furst ob all, it's Pouring Down Freezin' Rain, Seckont ob all the Steps are All Ice, then it's Snow, then more Ice and now the Lake is forming atta Bottom Obba Yard. If Dadda's not comin' out, there is No Way I'm going out! No Job, No Go. That's my motto. Geez!"

And he went off to do his Favourite Fing, which is to Herd Catz, onna'count obba Fakt Maman left the Door Atta Top Obba Stairs open and Beep had come downnastairs assa Volunteer.

And Maman came Downnastairs to give Alla Us Togedder Baby Organic Carrots.

And she said, "That ought to shut you up."

Which is Preddy Ironic onna'count obba Fakt that none of Us has said Ennyfing yet.

And she went off to complain to Dadda that Ellyphants have Ice Skated on Razor Blades down her throat. She also said she didn't feel like talking and then did a Lot of It, mostly telling him what We Could Already Hear, which was that Don-Nextest-Door was shovelling out his DribeWay, and making room for alla rain wadder to flow out *that way*. And Maman said that This would prob'ly be a Golden Opportunity for Dadda to use his HydroWhutSit Engineering Certification-fing to do sum Hydro-Engineering Around Heer.

Dadda said his Additional Certification was in HyDrawLick Engineering and that it wasn't quite the Same Fing.

And Maman gave him that blank stare that she gives to him when Stupid Issa'Vantage and said, "But you Are An Engineer. Engineers Can Fix Ennyfing. And we prob'ly *should* Fix the Rain before the Ice Storm does it for us."

Maman says she has Total Faith in Dadda's Ability to Fix Ennyfing. Onna'count obba Fakt that he issa Engineer.

Anna Cokie Cat cruised by and said to the Dawg, "Sucks to be you, pal. I'm heading Uppystairs for my Indoor Pootie Box and morning nap."

And Mr Mouse said, "Don't look at me. I always use my pootie-box."

And Dusty and Missy were both Occupying their Respective High Grounds and giving Da Dawg a sort of Copy of Maman's Stupid Issa'Vantage Stare.

So the Dawg was standing beside the Back Door with his paws Crossed, and looking at Dadda axting, "Gotta Job?" in the hopeful, anxious Collie-way.

And Dadda said to the Dawg, "Lookit, son, you go Count Your Squirrels. I'll go Engineer Sum Steel. Meet you back heer in three minits."

And he Opined the Back Door anna Dawg shot out of it, toenails all hextended for track-shun inna weather. So the Morning Patrol is Unner Way, Dadda is Engineering and Maman and Alla Us Togedder are doing Our Normal inna Ice Storm.

----------------------------------- By George!

Posted by Our Warren at 10:22 AM EST

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Sumfing is Wrong.

Very, very, V-E-R-Y Wrong and it involves a lotta Bunnies!

Yeah.

Now just listen to this and Think Carefully Along With Me:

A couple of Months Ago, my Beautiful Bunny-Gurl of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, MissyBun got Sick with sumfing called Ileus, or Bloat or Stasis. It is sumtimes called The Silent Killer onna'count obba Fakt that sumtimes nobunny sees that a bunny's tummy is shut down or fulla gas because the Symptoms Are Not Obvious until Fings Get Bad! The FURST SIGN IS WHEN A BUNNY STOPS EATING AND POOTYING.

No activity at either end inside of 12 hours means the BUNNY NEEDS A V-E-T INNA HURRY!

Please, Bemember This!

Ileus is VERY SERIOUS!

So ennyways, Maman rushed MissyBun to Our Vet, Dr Sharin. And Dr Sharin said to Maman,. "You know, I've been seeing an awful lot of these unexplained cases of Ileus lately."

And she took My Missy and Put Her Inna Hospiddle for TWO DAYS!

And I went to stay with her. I hadda Make Sure Missy was not OnAlone. Feeling OnAlone is the Worst feeling inna Werld for a HouzBunny. OnAlone is when you don't care for ennybunny and nobunny cares for you!

So ennyways, Missy got bedda and came back to Our Warren.

BUT THEN - Our Cousin Sheeba suddenly *stopped* eating and pootying For No Reason!

So Unkul Peter rushed her toda V-E-T. And Sheeba had Ileus, too. But Sheeba lives alla way in sumplace called "Atlanta" that is very far frum Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren so it was kinda funny that she got sick with the same fing atta same time as MissyBun.

And THEN a couple of days later, Our Cousin Smokey Na *stopped* eating and pootying, too! And his mawmie, Our Auntie Patricia rushed him toda V-E-T and he hadda stay Overnight Atta Hospiddle, too, onna'count obba Fakt that he also had Ileus!

And then, our Cousin Jackie In Florida, who is Way Away Frum Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren, and frum Sheeba, and frum Smokey Na, she ALSO *stopped* eating alla her Salads, Treats, and Stuff, and she stopped peeing and pootying just like alla rest obba bunnies who got Ileus, and poor Jackie hadda Stay Atta Hospiddle, too!

So, of course, we're all sending Prayers and Missy and Dusty are flapping their ears, sending **Healing** and **Bunny-Be-Well** vibes All Over Creation, and Mouse, Foxie and I are *rilly* Bizzy sitting and Rubbing Our Lucky Rabbits' Feets (the ONLY kind of Rabbits' Feets That Have Luck In Them are the Wuns Onna Bunnies!) for alla Our Friends and Relayshuns who have this terrible illness so they can Get Well Soonest!

Yeah. But we're About Worn Out, onna'count obba Fakt that nobun has seen so menny bunnies getting Sick So Much, So Far Apart. It's like, Whut's Up Wif This? Why is Everybunny Getting Sick? Why are So Menny Bunnies who Live Far Apart all getting Bloat around the same time? Lucky for Alla Us Togedder that **Vibes** are a Renewable Resource!

BUT - There has to be Sumfing Wrong that Alla This Is Happining At Once!

But we all get our Hay frum dif'frunt places, all over the country. We all get our food frum dif'frunt manufacturers. We are all getting Salad frum dif'frunt markets, plus we're not getting the same greens, either, onna'count obba Fakt that we all like dif'frunt stuff. And although we all get Treats, we all get dif'frunt Treats.

Plus, we all have dif'frunt types of living arrangements! Sum of us, like Bailey and Janie (I'm gonna tell you 'bout them inna minit) have places that will be featured in HouzRabbits Houz Beautiful. Some of us have Habbytats in Our Own BunRooms, sum have BunRooms Inna Houz, and sum of us Own the Whole Houz. None of us live inna Same Sorta Environment: Janie is in Noo Yawk, and Jackie is in Florida. Some are singletaries, and sum of us are members obba Warren.

And Fings Get Worse!

So THEN, Our Cousin Janie, who is Bailey's Bondmate in Noo Yawk, and Missy's Fosta-Sista, *stopped* eating and pootying. So Unkul Michael, who is Missy's Foster-Dadda rushed Janie to her V-E-T and poor Bailey hadda Stay At Home while Janie Was Inna Hospiddle! And over a week-end, too! And poor Bailey was Without His Bondmate and didn't know Whut To Do, poor guy, onna'count obba Fakt that having no bond-mate is like having no Direction In Life, lemme tell you! But then Janie got meddysin and alla that stuff that you have to Have Inna Hospiddle and she came home, too.

So NOW, just Tiday, Our Judge Rudy Esquhare who has passed the Noo Yawk Salad Bar, has *stopped* eating and pootying!

And as of RIGHT NOW, Our Auntie Michelle is taking Judge Rudy on her way toda Hospiddle!  

So Whut We Need are Huge **RUDY-BE-WELL!!** vibes and prayers and possytive energy to be sent to Noo Yawk Citty to Judge Rudy! And Ebberybunny please start rubbing your Lucky Rabbits' Feets for her to be Hokay!

This is Terribul.

Auntie Grace said it is like an Outbreak of Rabbit Anorexia - Bunnies Not Eating!

But you know whut? Maman was finking that Whut We All have in common is that we drink Wadder. And inna United States, almost alla Public Wadder Systems add **fings** to the Wadder. So she is *finking* that maybe there is Sumfing Inna Wadder...

Now Dr Sharin finks that there is too much of sumfing called "calcium" that is good for hoomins but too much of it is Bad For Bunnies in the Public Wadder System, and it *might* be a Good Idea to have Ebbery Bunnies' Wadder Tested for calcium levels. So Maman had Our Wadder tested and, guess whut? Too much calcium. So we get sumfing called Distilled Wadder that doesn't have added minerals like bottled wadder or spring wadder or wadder-outta-the-sink wadder.

But Maman is *finking* that mebbe there is sumfing else that is Inna Public Wadder that is Good For Hoomins but that is Bad For Bunnies. For a liddle while, she went back to giving us Whut She Calls "Tap Wadder" frumma pipes onna sink, and then MissyBun Got Sick.

Now Dr Sharin found a Teeny, Tiny, Almost-Invisible molar-spur on the very last molar in Missy's head, and carefully filed the spur off while Missy was unner'annyteeshua - which is danger'us. But Dr Sharin issa Berry Bestest V-E-T Inna Werld, along with Dr Doolan and Dr Horn. And Dr Sharin said that Missy must be a PRINCESS, if she could bothered by a spur so small that, unner the magnifying glasses, it looked smaller than the littlest "PEA"!

And Missy got bedda. So they put down on her "chart" that she got Ileus onna'count of being bothered by this Teeny Molar-Spur.

But Maman *suspekts* it might hab been Sumfing Inna Wadder. So now we're all back on this Distilled Wadder.

But EbberyBunny is Werried'bout Rudy.

Ileus is dangerous. Whutebber dis *fing* is that is going around giving bunnies too much gas, blocking up their digestive systems and giving them Bloat, issa Killer.

Be Onna'Lert! If your tummy hurts, tella Hoomin and go toda V-E-T Soonest!

Please Get Bedda Soonest, Rudy! And Bunnies, Be Well!

--------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:15 PM EST

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Hmmmm...

Sumfing is going on Heer.

Not quite Right, lemme tell you.

Very Early This Morning while it Still Looked Like Dark, Maman waked up and came shuffling outta The Bedroom, wiffa Dawg trailing behind her.

Anna'course Da Dawg wanted to Go Out Onna Morning Patrol. That's his Furst Job on enny day, and you know how Border-Collies are about Their Jobs.

So Maman unlocked the door but she couldn't get the Knob To Turn. Couldn't get her fingers to Go Around It.

So she's standing there In Her Bafrobe and she says to Da Dawg, "Lookit, you just went out Not Long Ago, so I know you're not on 'Full'. So let's just go Uppystairs and Herd Catz. Hozz'at?"

And because you can distract Da Dawg with a Feather, he's like, "Hokay! Catz! Where'da Catz! Catz!" and runs off to the bottoms of the Stairs to wait for her to pour her Big Cuppa Coffee.

So they go Uppystairs and I hear Maman telling Da Dawg to "Sit!" and not to tip her over while she's figgering out how to opin the Door Atta Top Obba Stairs.

So I guess she gets that to happin, and I hear all kinda foot-steps Uppystairs.

And Missy and I are Downnstaits in Our Habbytats.

And Missy is, like, "Whuttaheck is up wiff'at?"

But I don't know, because Maman was only talking toda Dawg and Not To Us.

So I tell Missy, "Hab sum hay and habba nap." because that's the Advice of me,Hunny *Senior Bun* of Our Warren, and it applies to most situations where you don't know Whut Else To Do.

So we do that for A While, and then Dadda wakes up, anna Dawg comes downnastairs to see Whut That's About, and Dadda sends him Out On Patrol inna Back Gardin while Dadda makes Tea.

Well, Dadda hassa look inna Salad Bank. It's not *quite* Eight O'clock Inna Morning, but I sit up and do some Cute, Just-In-Case, you know, making myself available in case there might be any Baby Organic Carrots in the offing.

And Missy climbs up onna High Ground inna Pootie-Box and goes, "Hey! You!"

But Dadda gets distracted, shuts the door of the Salad Bank and says to Mouse, "Bugger. No milk."

And Mr Mouse looks up at him and grunts, "Not my problem, son." and turns his back on him (which is Lagomorphin for "I really don't care what your problems are, I have bigger ones and you're not taking note of them; therefore I am not taking notice of you. See?" Rabbits have a more highly evolved body-language for communicating in burrow-tunnels than hoomins. Nothing says "I don't care" quite so much as clogging up sumbunny's access-route with your bum, and then watching them get upset over your shoulder!).

And then Maman comes back Downnastairs while Dadda goes off to Get Milk.

And Maman tries to Let In Da Dawg onna'count obba Fakt the Wind has begun to slam *rilly* hard innu Our Warren's Memorial Window, and she says she is 'fraid Da Dawg will blow away!

Whutebber.

So she's there with Both Hands onna Doorknob, struggling away and nothing is happining. The doorknob isn't turning, no matter which way she puts her hands onnit.

And onna'udder side'obba'door, Da Dawg hears her and starts to Let Her Know that "Yup! I'm Out Heer! Lemme In!" by barking at her.

So Mamn yells, "Shaddup, Marc!" through the door.

Anna Dawg hears her trying with the doorknob again and finks he Should Encourage Her onna'count obba Fakt that's Whut Herding Dawgs Do - they Encourage Their Herd to Do The Right Fing - and he's a He's a Herding Dawg all right, and he finks Maman is part ob his Pack or Herd or whutebber, and besides, she said His Name, which issa Sort Of Occasion (In Dawg Society) for Barking, ennyways, onna'count obba Fakt it is Recognition.

So Da Dawg barks, "Lemme in! Lemme in! Lemme in!"

And Maman shouts back through the door, "Shaddup, Marc! Be quiet! I'm trying to let you in, you dopey Dawg!"

And she's rattling the doorknob even more, but it's Still Not Turning onna'count obba Fakt she can't seem to Get Her Hands around it.

So the Dawg is now still onna Wrong Side Obba Door and he's getting Werried, onna'count obba Fakt that it's dawned on him that The Rest of His Pack (Maman and Us) is on *this* side obba Door and he's on *that* side obba Door. And if there is Wun Fing that will Werry a Dawg, it's Not Being Part Obba Pack.

So, now we're talking Panic and he starts barking Even More Encouragement to Maman: "Hurry up! Lemme in! Lemme in!"

So, finally, Maman gets the doorknob to turn! And she re-adjusts her hands onna doorknob and jerks the Door *rilly* Hard, and it Opins Up, and she stumbles backwards innu Our Habbytat. So she says,

"Sorry George. Hang on, Missy!"

And opins uppa Screen Door (that has glass innit forda Winter).

And there issa Dawg, Outside, onna Steps. And onna'count obba Fakt that he can see and smell the Rest Obba Pack, he's Suddinly All Joyous and Waggy!

And there issa Big Blast of Cold Air that yanks Hard atta door, and it Sweeps on Through to Smack Innu MissyBun hard enough to Drive her Offa High Ground. And Maman yells innu The Wind,

"Come on, Marc! Get inna Houz!"

And guess whut happins?

Da Dawg runs DownnaSteps, all Joyous and Waggy, innu the Back Gardin and stands there in alla Cold and Wind and barks to Maman,

"Gedda Ball! Gedda Ball! Wanna Play! Gedda Ball!"

So there's Maman in her Bloo Bafrobe, hanging half outta the Back Door anna Dawg alla way innu the Back Gardin with the wind Howling All Around Them, flinging Maman's hair ebberywheres, and coming innu Our Habbytat, and blowing hay all through the BunRoom - and there's the Dawg, barking his Fool Head Off, axting Maman to Come Outside and Play With Him!

Like that's gonna happin!

So Maman's hollering atta Dawg, "No, Marc!"

Anna Dawg is being all Hoyous and Waggy: "Getta Ball! Gotta Play!"

And finally Maman yells at him, "Get in heer, you Stoopit Dawg!"

Inna Tone of Voice that Snaps Da Dawg right outta Joyous and Waggy and innu Possibly-Misbehaving-But-Loyal. Which in Border-Collie is Not Good. And Border-Collies hate being Not Good. It is Way Too Close to the Forbidden "bad Dawg" Zone.

So then Da Dawg sorta skulks inside, and slinks past Maman going low and fast, and he stops in front obba cupboard where she keeps the Milk-Bone Dawg Biscuits.

And he looks back over his shoulder at Maman.

And that is Canine Body-language, that is more highly developed than hoomin, too. And Whut Da Dawg was saying was, "Lookit, I know I was a semi-not-so-Good-Dawg, but can I habba cookie, ennyways? Please? I am your Best Forebber Friend and Part Obba Pack."

So I stood up and periscoped, which is Lagomorphin Basic Cute - because if there were gonna be Treats onna go, I was gonna make sure Alla Us Togedder were gonna get sum!

So Maman got inna Salad Bank, and gotta bag of Baby Organic Carrots opin. Then she couldn't get Our Habbytats opin! So, she pushed Baby Organic Carrots through the sides, which was hokay, because it was the Usual Number and I managed to Sit On Wun and Eat The Udder.

Anna Dawg got his Milk-Bone Dawg Biscuits.

But Maman habbin Trubble Opining Fings is gonna be a Problem if This Keeps Up. Body-language or not!

---------------------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 1:18 PM EST

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Hoppy Birfday to Our Sheeba's Unkul Peter!

Yeah!

I should have typed that Yestidday, seeing as how that's about the Onliest GOOD FING that happined to Us Yestidday, but I couldn't get near the 'puter onna'count obba Fakt that there ended up to be a Houz Full of People, beginning with Phil and Laura. Which wasn't too bad because Laura gives us Treats When NoBun Is Lookin', which Mr Mouse says is "Hokay" and more-than-makes-up-for Phil playing Tail-Tweaks with him.

But like I told Mouse, "If you wouldn't *grunt* at him, Phil wouldn't Play Tail Tweaks with you. He only does it because you *grunt*."

And Mouse said to me, "Well, of course I *grunt*! You'd *grunt* too if sumbun walked up Behind You, Tweaked your Tail and said, 'Bunny Butt!'."

And I said to Mouse, "But that's the fing: I don't. I just ignore him and then he Tweaks My Tail, says 'Bunny Butt!' and I pretend he's Not Ebben There. And he goes, 'You're No Fun, George.' and goes away to Tweak Your Tail."

And Mouse went to have anudder look through his hay and kept on grumbling, but that's Mouse for you.

So I didn't get to Type a Blog Entry for the Hay Diaries yestidday and a lot of it was Maman's Fault.

She said Alla Us Togedder have to Get Over alla this Feeling 'Titled.

Well, I dunno Whut She Means.

Like Yestidday Morning, it was like Eight O'clock Inna Morning and we hadn't had Treats yet, so I was just hanging around by the Salad Bank inna BunRoom, just in case sumbun came past. I was going to be try and be Helpful by beminding them that the Standing Clock inna Living Room was about to chime Eight Times and Alla Us Togedder were Ready to Have Our Treats.

At least I am polite, unlike Sum Catz I know who come Downnastairs at *Bifore* Ten O'clock At Night and start Yeowling at Dadda, telling lies that their Stomach Is Saying Their Throat's Been Cut.

Yeah.

So ennyways, I was just hanging around the Salad Bank, sorta FellowCraftin' and being Available For Feeding (just like I was in Grand Lodge) and Maman comes in to fold the Laundry Inna Dryer.

And she was Talking Onna Telephone with Dadda atta Same Time. And she said to him, "Oh look, dear, here's George. He's been awake all day today. I don't know Whut's Gotten Innu Him. He's usually awake All Night and Asleep During the Morning."

So just to be sociable, I said, "I told Dusty to stay awake Onna'Lert and told Mouse to watch him. So I slept Lastest Night fora'Change."

And that's 'zacktly Whut Maman Told Dadda. And then she Went On, "And he's just been the Bizziest Little Bunny-boy today!" and reached over to give me Cheek-Chucks which is sumFing I sus'peshually like. So I sorta cuddled up to her and the towels she was folding, looked up and Turned On My Cute.

And Maman is like, "George..." and giggled.

But she sorta Pushed Me Back with her hand.

And I thought, "Hang on. I bemember frumma Lore As It Was Told To Me By me,Hunny that Once Upon A Time, Phil Pushed Belinda Bunny Back With Disasterous Consequences.

Onna'count obba Fakt that there issa Rool: Nebber Push A Bunny Away.

Yeah. Belinda made that Rool. Belinda Bunny made most obba Roolz that we have in Our Warren, and they are inna Lore As It Was Told To Me By me,Hunny *Senior Bun* of Our Warren, onna'count obba Fakt that Belinda was an Inkwish Spot HouzRabbit and they are Take-Charge Bunnies and Project-Oriented Bunnies by Nature.

And Alla Us Togedder value Our Lore, as do most HouzRabbits. And ebberybunny Obeyed Belinda's Roolz, lemme tell you! 

So assa TopBunny of Our Warren, and more or less having earned the position by having known Belinda In Person and by being able to pee-the-furthest, I couldn't just sit there FellowCraftin' and let Maman Push Me Aside!

So I sidled up to her and stuck my nose unner'neaf of her hand and flipped it up on top of my head so she could have a Second Chance to Pet Me - onna'count obba Fakt that Dr Sharin wrote that I am a "Small NZ" Bunny and we Nat'churally Have More Patience than Inkwish Spot Bunnies like Belinda.

And Maman gave my ears a Coupla' Pets and then said to Dadda:

"This Little George Bunny is acting Entirely Too 'Titled!"

And she had stopped petting my ears!

And I was, like, "Hey!"

So, being Helpful, but not wanting to seem Grumpy, I started snuffling Up Her Arm, to see if I could find her hand again. And don't you know, there it was, holding the phone. So I thought to myself,

"Lookit, Dadda is prob'ly bizzy and here's Maman taking up alla his time when she she prob'ly could be getting back to these towels."

So I got down and began nosing around inna towels she was folding to sorta helpfully bemind her that there was Werk Around Heer.

And she Pushed Me Away frumma towels!

And I was, like, "Hey!"

Onna'count obba Fakt that I was only trying to be helpful and here I Got Pushed Away (which is Against The Roolz!) a Second Time!

And I heard Dadda axt Maman Whut I Was Doing, and Maman said I was Going To George the towels!

Yeah, well, I wasn't going to do *that*! I was just beminding her that the towels were there, you know, just there...

And I heard Dadda Laugh!

And that's Against the Roolz, too - onna'count obba Fakt that Belinda Bunny  said that Bunnies Shuld Allus Be Treated Wif Diggity!

And Laughing at Bunnies Issa Indiggity!

So, you know, like That's *Rilly* Bad!

So I *thumped*.

And the Dawg-nose appeared around the corner of the cupboard inna Kitchin and the Dawg said, "Whutssamatta, George-the-Bun?"

And Maman said, "Marc! Go lie down!" Just like that, without Even Axting Me!

And onna telephone, Dadda laughed and said that he didn't need to Have Anudder towel that had "Bunny Lace" chewed innu it, that summa the bath towels had Enuf Holes Without George Making More!

Well, lemme tell you, I don't chew holes or make Stoopit "Bunny Lace"! When I chew sumfing, I am helpfully making marks in stuff so that enny strange bunnies will know that there issa Warren In This Houz and that it is Full Of Alla Us Togedder! Marking Territory is Whut I Do as Top Bunny of Our Warren!

Geez!

And then Maman said to Dadda, "It's because I haven't given them their Treats. They're Entirely too 'Titled. Just like everybunny Else Around Heer. Even the Dawg finks He Needs Treats at Eight O'clock Inna Morning!"

And, of course, when Da Dawg hears the werd "Treats", his head pops back around the corner obba cupboards, and he's got his ears up and his nose going and he looks at Maman and axts, "Treats?"

And Maman gets up and says to him, "I told you to lie down!"

And Da Dawg is like, "Oh. Hokay." And off he goes again.

And Maman said to Dadda, "Well, I'd best go. I've got Everybunny demanding Fings Frum Me. You'd think I was Some Kind Of Slave around here, working to their time-table, really you would. I can't even get the laundry folded for them interfering and demanding this-and-that!" and she laughed!

And I'm, like, "HOLD ON! I haven't axted for WUN FING FRUM YOU, WADY!"

But you know, *rilly* Whut's The Point? I mean, you sit here, trying to be helpful, being available to be fed and beminding hoomins that they have bedda fings to do than to natter away the day onna telephone, and Whut Happins?

They Shove You Away, they Break Da Roolz, they are Late With Treats and then you get Showered With Indiggities.  AND THEN YOU GET TOLD: "You're acting Entirely Too 'Titled" - whutebber *that* is!

The onliest WUN GOOD FING about yestidday about which I can type issat Yestidday Sheeba's Very Own Our Unkul Peter got Borned, lemme tell you!

--------------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:37 AM EST

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Hey! Guess whut Judge Rudy Esquhare told me? Her mawmie, Our Auntie Michelle is inna Newsday Noospaper Today! You can read the article heer.

Yeah!

Our Auntie Michelle issa Suffolk County Assistant District Attorney and she issa Wun Person alla Animals can turn to to Be A Voice for the Voiceless! She works with the Animal Cops, getting the mean animal abusers they arrest. She convicts and punishs the abusers for alla bad Fings they do to animals.

Not a lotta lawyers do this - but sum do, and the Wuns That Do, need to be Recognised!

And that's anudder Fing that I need to tell you! Did you see that it was Smokey's mawmie, Our Auntie PatriciaNa, mawmie to Rainbow Tulip and Our Rainbow Empress Ivy, who made Little Rainbow Ashy, Dandelion King's Dandelion Throne?

Yeah!

I mean, we're talking Real Designer Fashions for Fine Living As An Urban Rabbit! I *rilly* dunno why there are not more HouzRabbit Monarchs that are not demanding similar thrones for their own Kingdoms!

With Bunnies, Royalty is more about Perception than bloodline. It's sumfing you either have or your don't, but not like you can just Get It Anywheres or Find It Lying Around (like the Isle of Man). It's more like Who You Know You Are, rather than Who Your Mawmie (or Dadda) Was. We trace our heritage by our Warrens, not our Parents. So the Ruling Biznizz is pretty Big so far as Alla Us are concerned. We're all Legends in Our Own Spheres, which is preddy much hextends about Wun Foot Alla'round Us In Enny Direckshun.

So we prob'ly All Need Thrones.

Anna Design Werked Out by Auntie Patricia for Rainbow Ashy seems just about Perfeckt In All Respekts.

It is Sumfing to Aspire to, ennyways. Maman says the Pursuit of Ellygance issa Legitimate Hextercise. So when I see Ellygance, it will be hokay for me to chase afta her.

But for now, I gotta deal with Missy, onna'count obba Fakt that she's here and I'm preddy much obba Wun Bun-gurl Guy.

But you know, this getting - and eating - of treats is *rilly* getting to me, lemme tell you. Maman puts four Baby Organic Carrots innu Our Habbytat and she allus says the same fing:

"Share."

Uh huh. Yeah. Like that's *rilly* gonna happin!

Onna'count obba Fakt that as soon as those four Baby Organic Carrots come innu Our Habbytat, MissyBun comes bustling frum where-ebber she happins to be and promptly CUBBERS at least TWO of them with her Gen'rus Pro'porshunate Bum and starts to eat wunna the wuns that's left!

And I'm left sitting there considering the TWO Baby Organic Carrots that she is not covering up with her Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, and I'm like,

"HEY!"

And Missy looks up at me with her mouth pouched full of Carrot and she's like, "Whut?"

And I'm like, "I was gonna eat that!"

And she's like, "Lookit, I'm sharin'! I left you wun!"

And I'm like, "But there were FOUR ob'em."

And Missy's all innocent-like, and she axts me, "Where?" and then continues eating like there's nothing funny going on.

So I start in on the wun Baby Organic Carrot what's sitting there, onna'count obba Fakt if I don't, that wun is gonna start going the same way as the Furst Wun.

So I say to Missy between bites of Carrot, "I know you're sitting on TWO carrots."

And Missy says, "Not that I can feel." and afta she takes the last bite of her carrot she looks around at either side of her bum and then looks at me and adds, "Nope. I don't see enny more Baby Organic Carrots. Howa'bout I hab sum obba yours?"

And I'm like, "NO!" and start pulling my carrot outta her way, when she just reaches over and grabs a'hold of it, right as it's in my mouth!

So I'm holding on tight, lemme tell you! And I'm at her through my teeth, "Ger'offa my carrot!"

And Missy's holding on to the udder end of the Baby Organic Carrot just as tightly and talking through her teeth, too, and she says, "Maman said to share!"

And I'm like, "Lookit, I just shared more than my part with you!"

And she gives a big, old yank onna Baby Organic Carrot and since she's bigger than I am, I go stumbling forwards, still hanging on to the carrot.

And just about then, Maman goes by again and she reaches innu the Habbytat and she's like,

"MissyBun Harper!"

And Missy isn't letting go of her end of the carrot, even with Maman right there!

And then Maman reaches unner'neaf of Missy's butt, and Missy's like, "Whoa!" but she's *still* not letting go obba carrot!

And it's MY Baby Organic Carrot!

So I'm there onna udder end obba carrot and I'm yelling, "Maman!"

And Maman comes up with the udder two Baby Organic Carrots that Missy has been sitting on, and covering up, hiding, with her Gen'rus Pro'porshuns!

And Maman says, "Missy! I told you to share with George! How menny times do I have to tell the two of you?"

And then she PUSHES ME OFFA THE END OF MY CARROT!

YEAH!

Can you believe it?

Maman pushes me offa the end of MY BABY ORGANIC CARROT and puts the udder two down in frunt of me. And she says, "Here you go, George. If Missy's going to steal yours, then you can have these."

And so there I am, looking at these two Baby Organic Carrots that have been unner'neaf of Missy's Bum of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns (!!), and then I look at Maman and then at Missy - WHO IS EATING MY CARROT!

And I say to Maman, "That's NOT the point."

And Maman is like, "Whutsamatta, George? Don't you want the carrots?"

And I'm like, "That's not the point!"

And Maman is like, "Don't you feel good, George?"

And I'm like, "I feel fine. That's-not-the-point..."

And then Maman starts to feel my ears and she says, "Your ears feel normal. You're not getting sick, are you?" and she calls Dadda: "Brian! George isn't eating his carrots! Maybe he doesn't feel good?"

And I'm looking at her and looking at Missy chewing on MY CARROT and I'm like,

"Hey! Wady! You don't unner'stand!"

But now Maman's onna train-that-don't-stop-till-it-hits-the-station.

And she calls Dadda again, "Brian? George isn't eating his carrots..."

And out comes Dadda. And he looks at me and I look at him and then at Missy eating the LAST BITE OB MY CARROT!

And Dadda looks at Maman and says, "I don't think there's anything wrong with George, except Missy's eating his carrot, dear."

And then he looks over at me again and says, "And let me tell you, son," he says, "I'd be mightily put out with the Auld Bug-a-Lugs, too!"

----------------------------------------------------- By George.! 

Posted by Our Warren at 11:03 AM EST

Updated: Thursday, 7 February 2008 2:41 PM EST

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Hokay, now *this* Hay Diaries Entry actually started Late Last Night, around when Maman and Dadda were inna BunRoom, poking around inna Salad Bank, looking for Greens...

Anna telephone rang and Maman got it.

And we could hear the voice of The Herd-in-Kin-Tuck-Eee's Our Auntie Grace onna telephone, and she was talking LOUD onna'count obba Fakt that there wassa terrible loud sound of sirens screaming through the night inna background!

And alla suddin, alla colour drained right outta Our Maman's face!

And she RAN outta the BunRoom!

And Missy's like, "HEY! Wady! You left the Salad Bank door opin! Come back heer!"

So Mouse figgerd that This Was Not Right and sent Da Dawg to run afta her and see Whut's Going On.

So Maman stumbled Uppystairs, followed by Dadda (who was sort ob pushing her, too, Da Dawg said later) anna Dawg, who was by this time Onna Mission, and atta Full Run, so was trying to Squeeze By the Two Of Them All Struggling Togedder trying to ged uppystairs onna Staircase. Assa Dawg says, he doesn't need Agility Training, onna'count obba Fakt he lives with the Two Ob Them.)

And Dadda yelled atta Cokie-Cat, who was Clogging Uppa Doorway atta Top Obba Stairs, "MOVE, Cat!"

So Cokie moved but, of course inna Wrong Direction and so now, Alla Us Togedder down inna Bun Room could hear the sound of Ebberybunny Uppystairs Trying to Get Through the Wun Doorway Innu Maman's Study At Once.

It's a Very Confoozled Sound, when you are Down Inna BunRoom anna Rest Obba Warren is Uppystairs pounding around like ellyfants, lemme tell you!

So I *THUMPED*, because being an AlarmBunny is part TopBunning.

And Dadda yelled Downnastairs, "It's all right, George!"

So I *thumped* again, to let him know that I had heard him.

And he yelled again, "I said, 'It's all right, George!'" and then I heard him add, "Damn rabbit must be deaf!" So I *thumped* a Third Time to let him know that I head *that*, too!

But I could also hear that eberyfing was Far Frum 'All Right', because Maman's going to Auntie Grace: "Wait, wait, let me type that again. My hands are shaking too badly."

Well, Wun Fing Maman *can* do is type, and if she's messing up onna 'puter, she is *rilly* upset.

So then she started calling out towns where Auntie Grace and The Herd-in-Kin-Tick-Eee live.

And Maman goes, "Okay, there's a line just to the south-west of you, between you and Hopkinsville, and it's just going to graze you on the south-west corner..."

And then there was quiet fora-minit and then Maman said, "Okay, but watch out there is Wun Juicy Cell that has just crossed a Route For-tee that is to your south-west, moving north-east, that if it doesn't dissy-pate inna next fifteen to thirty minits could give you....you're WHERE?"

And we heard a lotta furious typing.

And then Maman started reading sumfing and she stopped and said a bad werd in Anglo-Saxon and then there was more typing and Maman started reading again.

And Maman said to Auntie Grace:

"Call me back! Promise you'll call me or I'm gonna call you!"

And then here came Maman and Dadda - anna Dawg followed by Cokie and Beep-the-Udder-Cat, all Downnastairs inna'nudder line.

Anna Dawg came out innu the BunRoom, sat down and said, "Tornadoes." like he knew Whut He Meant.

And Maman and Dadda came innu the Kitchin and Dadda axted, "So Where Is She?"

And Maman said, "Inna Driveway, going innu her houz. But it's hokay, The Kids are Smart - EveryBun is inna Closet."

And Dadda axted her, "Including Helmley?"

And Maman said, "Yes."

Now you gotta know, Helmley issa Big Dawg. We're talking HUGE. Anna Herd-in-Kin-Tuck-Eee has more bunnies than Our Warren. About the onliest fings we have the same are Our Catz onna'count obba fakt that Percy-cat is anudder Maine Coon like Our Cokie, just younger and not so fat.

So ennyways...

We Got Romain-Cups, and there was Quite A Bit of Curley Parsley and we got Baby Organic Carrots but No Raisins, onna'count obba Fakt Maman says that there had been enuf Sugar for Wun Day As It Is. And she's not putting up with enny Gut Slow-Downs frum Enny Ob Us - not since Sheeba and Janie and Smokie were finally home frumma V-E-T's and eating and having pooties and she could finally Stop Werrying.

So we got extra Hay Frumm Noo Bale, which was okay.

I made a tunnel and hadda liddle nap away frum Missy while she spent sum time chewing her way to find me.

Then a Liddle Later On, Maman said, "I can't be having with this..." and called back The Herd-in-Kin-Tuck-Eee to talk to Auntie Grace.

And she said to Auntie Grace, "Lookit, the Bow-Tie Weather Guy onna NBC-10 said there were 30 tonadoes down your way in three hours. Are you still alive?"

And Auntie Grace said, "I'm still alive!"

And it turned out she was Scrubbing The Herd's BunRoom Floor - onna'count obba Fakt that the Whole Herd-In-Kin-Tuck-Eee had heard aboud'da Tornado mebbe coming Near Their Houz, and Auntie Grace's Kids, Kaatie and Paul, knew Whut To Do When They Heard The Sirens Inna Night!

They took ebberyfing Outta The Closet, moved in Alla Herd Togedder, anna Percy-Cat, anna Huge Helmley-Dawg. Then they put inna flash-light, sum wadder and sum 'Mergency Food anna Wedder Radio. And they SHUT THE DOOR!

So the Whole Herd-In-Kin-Tuck-Eee was Perfek'ly Safe.

And When Auntie Grace got home, she noticed that the floor inna Herd's BunRoom needed scrubbin', and that's Whut She Was Doing When Our Maman Called.

But the RILLY IMPAWTANT FING HEER issa The WHOLE HERD-IN-KIN-TCK-EEE was SAFE in 'MERGENCY SHELTER!

That's the Whole Point of THIS Entry inna Hay Diaries.

It's not about Fine Living for HouzRabbits - it's about SAFETY.

Now a lotta stuff gets typed about Hoomins being safe, and about making 'mergency shelters for udder homins and alla that, but PLEASE! Nebber FOTYGET PETS!

When those sirens go off, or when sumbun onna radio says to get to 'Mergency Shelter, or Declares a State of 'Mergency, BEMEMBER US!

Because we are only as safe as you are. And we - bunnies, kitties and dawgs - can't just "find shelter on our own" - because we can't! We are stuck wherebber you've left us - in our habbytats, or in our BunRooms, or inna barn, or inna doghouse, or where-ebber - and we have NO PLACE TO GO if you don't TAKE US WITH YOU!

Most States now have 'Mergency Shelter that INCLUDES PETS - so there is no hextcuse to leave us behind.

So even though these Tornadoes in Kin-Tuck-Eee happined Out of Season in February, bemember that Stuff Happins!

Make Plans! Make sure EVERYBUNNY inna Houz is Part Obba Plan! And then, when the sirens go off, or the warning scrolls across the television screen, be sure to ACT!

And Never Fortyget Us.

-------------------------------------------------------------- By George!

Posted by Our Warren at 2:17 PM EST

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Hokay...

This is NOT the day to bother Maman.

It just issn't, lemme tell you!

And I know this onna'count obba Fakt that udder hoomins have been Trying It On all day tiday. And Maman was telling Alla Us Togedder that if they keep Trying It On, she was "like to getta baseball-bat and beat a few heads in."

And I was like, "Whoa."

Anna Dawg, who is prob'ly In Charge of the Collective Brain Cell onna'count obba Fakt that Cokie-the-Fat-Cat had it yestidday, heard the werd "ball" and went off to his Toy Basket to get wunna his.

And the wun he brought to Maman was the Wun Wiffa Squeeky Innit, which Maman says issa Most 'Nnoying Ball inna whole Dawg Toy Basket. So Da Dawg was standing there inna Kitchin, and he's bizzy munching ona Ball Wiffa Squeeky Innit so that it is making it's 'Nnoying Noise.

Which is Not A Good Idea when there is alreddy wadder leaking outta Maman's eyes and she's stnding there beside Our Habbytat, biting on her lip.

And she turns onna Dawg and yells, "Not now, Marc!"

Anna Dawg stops Munching Onna Ball, and looks at her and he's like, "Whoa. Whut'd I do?"

And Missy looks atta Dawg frumm Occupying the High Ground of Our Pootie-box and says to him, "Well, now you've done it."

Anna Dawg looks at Missy and whoofs, "Whut?" around his mouthful of ball.

And because Da Dawg has just whoofed, Maman looks at him and is like, "Don't you talk back to me, stoopit Dawg! I said 'No!' Now go put that away!"

But she didn't tell him Where To Put the Ball. She just said "away" and let it go at that.

Well, everybunny knows, when you're talking to a Border-Collie, you have to give them Complete Jobs, not sorta half-way jobs, onna'count obba Fakt that they are Easily Confoozled. And when they are confoozled, they just Stand There, waiting for The Whole Job to be told to them, not just part.

So, of course, Da Dawg is standing there, all Puzzled-Like, waiting for Maman to Come Up With the Rest of His Job. But she's Upset, so she doesn't say Ennyfing Else. So he's waiting and finking over Whut She Said, and looking to see if he can find The Rest Obba Job in Whut She Said - and he can't - but while he's finking over whut he's just herd Maman say, he absent-mindedly starts chewing on Whut He Has In His Mouth - anna Squeeky inna ball starts squeeking.

And Mouse is like, "Uh oh."

But it's too late and Maman smacks her hand Uppa'gainst the Salad Bank and screams for Dadda.

And Dadda's voice comes frum Uppystairs, "Inna minit, dear."

And Maman leans onna Salad Bank, looks at me and says, "I swear, George, there are days when I feel like I'm invisible!"

Only the way she says "Invisible" sounds like, "In-vizzy-ball", est'peshully if you're Da Dawg and sorta hard-wired to just hear the werd "ball" every time it comes up all over the Whole Wide Werld..

So Da Dawg whoofs up, all hopeful-like, "Ball?"

And Maman just looks at him, with that perfectly level, dead-eye stare and says with that *rilly, rilly* Bad Kinda Calm,

"No."

Anna Dawg sits down and he's got this sorta hunted, werried look on that Border-Collies get when they are skert they've done sumfing *rilly* wrong. And onna'count obba Fakt that he's feeling less-then-secure, he give the Ball an anxious little chew.

Anna ball squeeks.

And Maman, like, closes her eyes, and her lips move, but no sounds come out. Then she turns her back onna Dawg, and that makes his ears go down, and his eyebrows pull togedder wif werry, and Maman leans over Our Habbytat and starts to Pet me.

And I'm finking, "Oh great. Now his Feelings Are Hurt." Because you can't help but feel sorry for sumbun as Klooless Assa Dawg, who only wanted to Go Out Inna Gardin and Play Wiffa Ball, even though It Is Raining. It's Not His Fault that only HouzRabbits Grow 'Tellygint while almost every Udder Creature inna Universe Merely Grows Old.

But it is not *rilly* Maman's Fault that she is Upset, either, onna'count obba Fakt that Everybunny Needs Her Alla'Time Sumtimes.

So ennyways...

I'm getting Petted. Which is great - hext'cept Missy comes bounding Offa High Ground, barrels across the Habbytat, and skids around so that she ends up with her bum slamming innu mine and her head unner'neaf of Maman's hand.

And I'm like, "Hey!"

And I snuggle her head the udder way so that I'M unner'neaf of Maman's hand.

So we're petty-pushing back-and-forth for a minute, until Maman opens her hand out wide and we both get head-rubs.

You have to take responsibility for getting your own pets around here, sumtimes!

So Maman is leaning over Our Habbytat, and Dadda arrives inna Kitchin and pops on his kettle.

And right behind him comes Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, sort of shambling around the corner of the cupboards, looking innerested.

And Cokie's like, "Issa Dawg in Trubble?"

And Mouse is like, "Not rilly."

And Cokie sits down and sighs. "I thought I heard yellin'."

And Dusty is like, "Maman is Not Happy onna'count obba Fakt that she has setta'side four hours ebbery morning to help George type his Hay Diaries alla'bout Us and then suddinly the Whole Houz is Fulla Ebberybunny anna telephone is Ringing and Not For Her, and Ebberybunny Wants Stuff, or Wants Her 'Tenshun, or sumfing."

And Foxie adds, "Anna Dawg finks she wants to play ball. Only she doesn't and he's confoozled onna'count obba Fakt she keeps saying 'ball' when she doesn't mean to."

Anna Dawg looks at Foxie and gives anudder chew on his ball. And he's like, "Did you say..."

But bifore he can finish, Cokie-Cat, puts out one, single, very sharp claw and sorta rakes it through the Dawg-tail, which kinda draws Marc to look over his shoulder atta Fat-Cat and axt him, "Oi, you. Whuttyawant?"

Anna Fat-Cat is like, "No one is talking to you, Stoopit. Shaddup."

And Da Dawg is so s'sprised, he lets the ball fall outta his mouth, and it rolls unnerneaf of Mouse's Habbytat.

And Mouse is like, "Uh oh."

Anna Fat-Cat looks over at me and goes, "See? It all comes down to being Firm But Clear with Dawgs. Maman's Whole Trubble is that she's Not Firm About Whut She Wants..."

And Mr Mouse is like, "Wait for it..."

And Missy looks at me and says, "This is gonna be good..."

And then alla'suddin, it's like sumbunny throws a switch inna Dawg's brain-cell, onna'count obba Fakt, alla His Hackles Rise, and he springs to his feets, lowers his head and lets out this HuMungEous *BARK*: "NO CATZ INNA BUNROOM!"

That practically blows Da Cokie-Cat offa his paws - because suddinly the Dawg is vigerously prodding Cokie in his posterior regions with his teeth, and Cokie is scrambling to find get-away traction onna kitchin linoleum.

And as they fly around the corner obba cupboards, heading for the Dining Room, Maman yells, "Good Lord!" and Dadda yells, "Marc, leave off!" and "Cokie!" but it's, like, too late, onna'count obba Fakt that both the Fat-Cat anna Dawg are alla'way through the Living Room and pounding Uppystairs at High Speeds.

And Dadda grabs on to Maman to keep her frum getting knocked ober, and so he's like, "You okay, dear?'

And Maman is like, "Yeah. No fanks to them."

And Dadda is like, "So whut were you saying?"

And Maman sorta looks at Dadda and then out toward me, and shakes her head.

And then she snuggles innu Dadda and says, "Dunno. Beats the hell outta me whut I was saying. Let's go 'vote' and then I'll help George do His Blog. Before ennyfing else Screws-up Around Heer."

---------------------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:11 AM EST

Updated: Tuesday, 5 February 2008 7:59 PM EST

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H O P P Y

    B I R F D A Y  TO

             Our Maman!

With lotsa LOVE frum...

Alla Us Togedder heer at

                    Our Warren! 

!

Posted by Our Warren at 2:11 PM EST

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I fortygot to mention that Yestidday was Groundhog Day, and that Good Ol'  Punxsutawney Phil of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania predicted that we will have six more weeks of Winter, onna'count obba Fakt he saw his shadow and went home to his burrow!

Now, of course, everybun around here knows Punxsutawney Phil only visits "his" burrow when the television cameras come to a field nextest to him, onna'count obba Fakt that he issa pretty Tame Groundhog who lives the Literary Life inna Town Liberry with his HogWife and everyfing. A Troo Hextample of Groundhog Fine Living!

The Reason that I mention this is onna'count obba Fakt that HouzRabbits have come a Long Way frumma days of being confined to small cages in Sum Back Room just as Punxsutawney Phil has come a Long Way frum being hunted frum his burrow as being a "varmint" and is now a 'Peshul Event Co-Ordinator with His Own Hollyday! Menny Bunnies have Achieved Troo Home Ownership, With Ammenities, like Our Cousin Rainbow Ashy (about whom I told you Yestidday). Ashy even had PeaForce Radio that he listened to Every Morning! (This is my Favourite Link to Wunnerful Pickchurs by Beezer and Sundae's Mawmie, Our Auntie Judith!)

Yeah!

And Our Cousin Rainbow Eli hadda Bestest Friend Pete, who is *rilly* named Petra, like the Rose City (Maman said), 'cept that Budgies are like Bunnies in that hoomins oftin make mistakes about them being Male or Female when they are Young, and frequently get Mixed Up. This has even happined heer at Our Warren, when Foxie arrived with the name "Lightning" and the hoomin surrendering her said she wassa Liddle Boy-Bun! (And was she ever upset abouddit, lemme tell you!)

Even worse was Our Rainbow Beebe-Bunny!!, who even confoozled the V-E-T who was trying to neuter/spay him, who called up Maman and said, "Well, we were wrong and Beebe issa Liddle Gurl.". And then he called Maman back and said, "No, I was wrong - Beebe issa a Liddle Boy-bun!" and then called Maman back a Third Time and said, "Lookit, you can choose, onna'count obba Fakt This Liddle Bunny has BOTH!" So Maman said, "Poor bunny knows his name is 'Beebe', and he went in there a 'him' so he'll come out a 'him', too. So we'll stay with that." And That's How Our Rainbow Beebe-Bunny!! stayed a boy, but it was a close fing, lemme tell you!

This all comes, of course, of hoomins being Too Quick to Give Names to Bunnies. It Should Be that hoomins Wait Until We Bunnies Tell You Our Names.

It's like Missy.

Missy is my Beautiful BunWife of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, but When Missy Furst Arrived in Our Warren frum being a Foster Bunny at Unkul Michael's (he is Dadda to Janie-and-Bailey) she came with the name of "Fluffy" attached to her like sum sorta tail-tag. Now, if you habba look at Missy, you just *know* her name isn't "Fluffy" and that if you call her "Fluffy" you are prob'ly looking to get *THUMPED*. So Maman and Dadda brought her home frum Unkul Michael's house in Noo Yawk, and Maman put her in her own habbytat and said to Dadda,

"I wonder Whut Her Name Is, because it sure isn't 'Fluffy'."

And Dadda said, "Well, she'll tell us When She is ready."

And Missy said she looked up at him frum her habbytat and was, like, "You fink?"

And Belinda Bunny (who was Top Bunny then) said, "Hextellent Bunnatude, child!" and did *footflicks* alla'round her habbytat to show Missy that having Bunnatude wassa Very Acceptable Behaviour in Our Warren, and something to Continue to Cultivate. Which Missy has.

And because I wasn't part of Our Warren yet, I didn't say ennyfing, but when I first met MissyBun, I was Impressed, lemme tell you!

And that's How It Is with bunnies. Names are Important To Bunnies. We don't just Give Them to Ennybunny that axts. A Name tells Who You Are, and is only shared with Sumbun You Trust. Of course, if you don't have a name when you arrive inna Warren, the Warren will Give Wun To You, but only afta they Know You.

MissyBun made the hoomins Guess. And finally, afta she had been in Our Warren for three-or-four-days, Maman said, "She's quite The Little Miss!"

And Missy said, "You Got It, Wady! I'm MissyBun!"

But I arrived inna cardboard box with Nothing Else. I was an Easter Bunny Dump that sum hoomin had dropped off inna bizzy V-E-T's office and then walked away! Just me-inna-box - no name, no age, no blankie, no bedding, no food, no wadder, NO NOTHING! Just a bare, stoopit cardboard box with me shut innit! Maman even hadda bring a Rescue Cage to Take Me Home.

So Maman brought me to Our Warren and started calling me "George". Well, I didn't know enny bedda onna'count obba Fakt I had been taken away frum my own Mawmie much too early, dropped off atta pet store and sold assa fluffy toy without the slightest knowledge of Who I Was or Whut I Did, so Whut Did I Know? I thought "George" wassa Pretty Good Name, so I stuck with it, and when I decided to tell Maman Who I Was, I told her, "George".

That kinda fing happins to YoungBuns quite oftin! That's how we end up with names that are not *quite* bunny names, or Not Our Names, or Confoozled Names. Like me,Hunny's name when he came to Our Warren was s'sposed to be "HoneyBunny" onna'count obba Fakt that he wassa Light Brown Broken miniLop, but as he said, the Whole Name Wasn't His Frumma Beginning onna'count obba Fakt that he wasn't Broken (although Maman insisted on having him "'fixed"!) and he was ennyfing 'cept "mini" being full-sized for him, and with a bigger-than-usual appetite for food (you gotta know miniLops!). He was the usual seven-pound miniLop for most of his life, which issa Far Frum Small HouzRabbit! So the "HoneyBunny" name Did Not Belong To Him. But that's Whut He Was Called when he wassa YoungBun and stoopit hoomins bought him and kept him inna cage inna basemint until Maman rescued him and brought him to live at Our Warren inna habbytat where he hadda bondmate, Rainbow Maggie, anna 'Puter and aksess to "OnLine" and he began Living Assa Urban HouzRabbit. So when he learned how to type onna 'puter, and began his Bunny Ministry at Saint Luke's Church with the Rev'rind Doctor 'Ginny Sheay, he typed notes to sick children, and he allus signed the notes that he typed "Frum Your Friend At Our Warren, me,Hunny" onna'count obba Fakt typing was a Very Noo Fing for him. So hoomins thought that was his name, "meHunny".

But his name was actually just "Hunny" because Maman used to tell him he was "Her darling sweet bunny-boy.".

Which was sorta the Same Fing that happined to Rainbow "I, Me, Madeleine " Hanson. She was a Liddle Brown Holland Loppy Bunny Gurl who was very Insistant Upon Being Herself (as she should!). Belinda Bunny called it "Having Bunnatude" and Encouraged Her even though Madeleine had Plenty Of Encouragement Without Belinda making Fings Worse. Madeleine wanted to be sure that ebberybunny else unnerstood that she was named "Madeleine" and not "Maddie" or sum udder silly hoomin-made-up nick-name. She was Madeleine! So she typed Who She Was, and so hoomins called her Whut She Typed.

But We Know Who We Are. And Bunnies don't Take Names Lightly. Small fings mean a Lot inna small, confined world obba Warren Unnerground, so the position obba ear, or the turn obba head means a LOT above ground, WhereEver We Are. Just like A Name is Very Person'al, so is Real Estate, onna'count obba Fakt, it issa 'Flekshun, like inna mirror ob Who You Are and How You Fink.

Now, heer in Our Warren, nothing is Simple. Everything issa Joint Decision By Ebberybunny onna'count obba Fakt that this issa Multu-Species Warren where EbberyBunny finks he/she is In Charge. Da Dawg, being a Herding Dawg on top ob just Being a Dawg, finks we are all In His Pack. Cokie-da-Fat-Cat being a Cat, on top of finking he issa Biggest Cat Around, finks we are all In His Chowder. Maman and Dadda, being hoomin, fink they are atta Top Obba Evolutionary Chain, Pay Taxes and are The Owners Obba Whole Circus. And of course We Bunnies know that this is Our Warren and I, George, am TopBun heer, no madder how much Peeing Dusty does (because no madder *whut* I can pee farther, faster and in a wider pattern than he can! Besides I have been heer Longer and I was 'Pointed by Belinda Bunny and learned Da Lore frum me,Hunny *Senior Bun* of Our Warren! And YES, I'LL SPRAY EVERY INCH OF THIS BUNROOM TO PROVE IT! Which is preddy much Why Dadda Put Uppa Partition between Dusty And Me, so we wouldn't see each udder and keep having This Argumint.).

Ennyways...

It is preddy much as Maman says: "We gotta whole houz of 'Chiefs' and no 'tribal members', which Missy says is "Wrong!" onna'count obba Fakt that there is Dusty who is still too much obba YoungBun to hold a Position Of Enny Responsibility. Ebben Beep-the-Udder-Cat issa Top Member Inna Dawg's Imaginary Herd Of Wun. So ebberybunny heer is more or less "In-Charge" of Everybunny else, and Everybunny else rejects ennybunny else's Authority, which makes Life "preddy innerestin'" as Dadda allus says whenever we try to do ennyfing Alla Us Togedder. 

Which is why doing More Entries about Dif'frunt Bunnies' Fine Living Arrangemints inna Future Posties obba Hay Diaries is Important - onna'count obba Fakt it shows how Far we bunnies have come frumma days when we were The Voiceless, sold as cuddly toys and given names that were Not Our Own, confined to cages in back rooms and left off in cardboard boxes when we were No Longer Wanted.

Bunnies are EveryWhere! We are Doing Lotsa Fings! Our Friend Greg issa Therapy/Service Companion Bunny To Auntie 'Manda. Our Cousin Sheeba takes Unkul Peter with her on airplanes all over the United States! Our Cousin Rainbow Ashy 'Stablished "Dandelion County, Ashyville, Callyfornia" where his Pete still lives anna PeaForce Radio still broadcasts the Morning Chorus to Auntie Laura. Sundae and Beezer have their Ownliest Catz, Kit-Kat and Pogo-the-Baby, and get their pickchurs taken alla time by Auntie Judith! And Our Friends and Relayshuns in SoCal, Norman and Ragin' Riley run their Own Company (with Auntie Carla), HareWEAR, while Rainbow Simon, Rainbow Murphy and Rainbow Chef Wally, Forever Mr June! continue to inspire Auntie Carla's beautiful HareWARE!

We Bunnies have websites. We type blogs. We star in Video. We own Real Estate. We know about Fine Living. We Have Names!

Bunnies are Not Just For Easter! We are For Real!

------------------------------------------------ By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:50 AM EST

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Well, Yestidday, I got sidetracked by typing about an OnGoing Problem Heer at Our Warren - which is Cold Blasts Up Missy's Bum - when I meant to type about Fine Living For HouzBunnies.

So Tidday I am going to type about Real Estate Ownership and Fine Living, even though once again, Maman got up at Six O'clock Inna Morning and Let Da Dawg Out Onna Furst Patrol, and once again, Missy was Occupying The High Ground by Sitting Inna Pootie-box and gotta Cold Blast of Air Up Her Bum. She has been complaining All Morning and gave Maman the RBB until Maman handed out the Eight O'clock Inna Morning Treats (which were Baby Organic Carrots this time. I dunno Whut Has Become obba Red Raisin Tub!).

Ennyways...

As every HouzRabbit knows, ALL BUNNIES are entitled to safe, clean housing inna Bunny Bill ob Rights. (This is the FURST DOCUMINT of it's kind, Typed BY Bunnies, FOR Bunnies! Here issa Link to to the RIFRAF website and there is also Wun onna sidebar obba Hay Diaries blog.) Howebber, SUM bunnies have rilly made the most of their Real Estate Hextperience to make Superior Lodgings and  create Fine Furnishings for the HouzRabbit of Serious Refinemint!

Yeah!

Wunna the FINEST Homes Beautiful was maintained by Our Cousin, Rainbow Ashy Tyler and his bestest buddy, Rainbow Eli, of Suddern Callyfornia. Obtaining the use of Their Very Own BunRoom frum Auntie Laura and Unkul Toby was, ob course, Ashy and Eli's Initial Order ob Biznizz. A sunroom, with Views, protected by glass, with screens to Let Inna Breezes (and keep out critters) and Air Conditioning to control Environmental Dangers fulfilled Ashy's Purpose to Establish a Proper BunHome afta his 'Fishul Adoption by Auntie Laura. (The Helicopter inna pikchur - just like Unkul Toby's - came a liddle later!)

Inna Pikchur atta Right is Ashy's Famous CheezHouz. Although originally intended for Cat-use, Ashy was able to adapt this fine lodging to his own Comfort. You will note the Large Number of Comfortable Opinings, Ideally Situated For Bunny Safety anna feelings ob Sekurity in case obba Emergency Exit. Bunnies never build a Warren with only Wun point of Entrance/Exit. This CheezHouz, although produced for Catz, fulfills HouzRabbit hextpecktayshuns for Superb Views with Ease of Motion. It's Triangular Shape makes it fit easily innu hoomin-designed Square Living Spaces, and it's Pleasing Cheerful Dandelion Colour fits in Nicely Wiffa Surrounding Desert Theme.

This issa Interior Pickshur of Rainbow Eli patiently arranging his Bedding Blankies inside obba Dandelion CheezHouz. Please note the Bloo Ornamint inna Complimenting Restful Bloor Colour that is hanging frumma Cheerful Yellow Ribbon inside obba Dandelion CheezeHouz. No detail has been left to chance! That Liddle Bloo Ornamint invites da Discriminating HouzBunny to come inside, to "Hab sum hay and habba Nap", inna Tranquil Setting ob Bunny Bliss. Who could possibly resist such a Wunnerful Invitation? Not Our Rainbow Eli!.