I fortygot to mention that Yestidday was Groundhog Day, and that Good Ol'  Punxsutawney Phil of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania predicted that we will have six more weeks of Winter, onna'count obba Fakt he saw his shadow and went home to his burrow!

Now, of course, everybun around here knows Punxsutawney Phil only visits "his" burrow when the television cameras come to a field nextest to him, onna'count obba Fakt that he issa pretty Tame Groundhog who lives the Literary Life inna Town Liberry with his HogWife and everyfing. A Troo Hextample of Groundhog Fine Living!

The Reason that I mention this is onna'count obba Fakt that HouzRabbits have come a Long Way frumma days of being confined to small cages in Sum Back Room just as Punxsutawney Phil has come a Long Way frum being hunted frum his burrow as being a "varmint" and is now a 'Peshul Event Co-Ordinator with His Own Hollyday! Menny Bunnies have Achieved Troo Home Ownership, With Ammenities, like Our Cousin Rainbow Ashy (about whom I told you Yestidday). Ashy even had PeaForce Radio that he listened to Every Morning! (This is my Favourite Link to Wunnerful Pickchurs by Beezer and Sundae's Mawmie, Our Auntie Judith!)

Yeah!

And Our Cousin Rainbow Eli hadda Bestest Friend Pete, who is *rilly* named Petra, like the Rose City (Maman said), 'cept that Budgies are like Bunnies in that hoomins oftin make mistakes about them being Male or Female when they are Young, and frequently get Mixed Up. This has even happined heer at Our Warren, when Foxie arrived with the name "Lightning" and the hoomin surrendering her said she wassa Liddle Boy-Bun! (And was she ever upset abouddit, lemme tell you!)

Even worse was Our Rainbow Beebe-Bunny!!, who even confoozled the V-E-T who was trying to neuter/spay him, who called up Maman and said, "Well, we were wrong and Beebe issa Liddle Gurl.". And then he called Maman back and said, "No, I was wrong - Beebe issa a Liddle Boy-bun!" and then called Maman back a Third Time and said, "Lookit, you can choose, onna'count obba Fakt This Liddle Bunny has BOTH!" So Maman said, "Poor bunny knows his name is 'Beebe', and he went in there a 'him' so he'll come out a 'him', too. So we'll stay with that." And That's How Our Rainbow Beebe-Bunny!! stayed a boy, but it was a close fing, lemme tell you!

This all comes, of course, of hoomins being Too Quick to Give Names to Bunnies. It Should Be that hoomins Wait Until We Bunnies Tell You Our Names.

It's like Missy.

Missy is my Beautiful BunWife of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, but When Missy Furst Arrived in Our Warren frum being a Foster Bunny at Unkul Michael's (he is Dadda to Janie-and-Bailey) she came with the name of "Fluffy" attached to her like sum sorta tail-tag. Now, if you habba look at Missy, you just *know* her name isn't "Fluffy" and that if you call her "Fluffy" you are prob'ly looking to get *THUMPED*. So Maman and Dadda brought her home frum Unkul Michael's house in Noo Yawk, and Maman put her in her own habbytat and said to Dadda,

"I wonder Whut Her Name Is, because it sure isn't 'Fluffy'."

And Dadda said, "Well, she'll tell us When She is ready."

And Missy said she looked up at him frum her habbytat and was, like, "You fink?"

And Belinda Bunny (who was Top Bunny then) said, "Hextellent Bunnatude, child!" and did *footflicks* alla'round her habbytat to show Missy that having Bunnatude wassa Very Acceptable Behaviour in Our Warren, and something to Continue to Cultivate. Which Missy has.

And because I wasn't part of Our Warren yet, I didn't say ennyfing, but when I first met MissyBun, I was Impressed, lemme tell you!

And that's How It Is with bunnies. Names are Important To Bunnies. We don't just Give Them to Ennybunny that axts. A Name tells Who You Are, and is only shared with Sumbun You Trust. Of course, if you don't have a name when you arrive inna Warren, the Warren will Give Wun To You, but only afta they Know You.

MissyBun made the hoomins Guess. And finally, afta she had been in Our Warren for three-or-four-days, Maman said, "She's quite The Little Miss!"

And Missy said, "You Got It, Wady! I'm MissyBun!"

But I arrived inna cardboard box with Nothing Else. I was an Easter Bunny Dump that sum hoomin had dropped off inna bizzy V-E-T's office and then walked away! Just me-inna-box - no name, no age, no blankie, no bedding, no food, no wadder, NO NOTHING! Just a bare, stoopit cardboard box with me shut innit! Maman even hadda bring a Rescue Cage to Take Me Home.

So Maman brought me to Our Warren and started calling me "George". Well, I didn't know enny bedda onna'count obba Fakt I had been taken away frum my own Mawmie much too early, dropped off atta pet store and sold assa fluffy toy without the slightest knowledge of Who I Was or Whut I Did, so Whut Did I Know? I thought "George" wassa Pretty Good Name, so I stuck with it, and when I decided to tell Maman Who I Was, I told her, "George".

That kinda fing happins to YoungBuns quite oftin! That's how we end up with names that are not *quite* bunny names, or Not Our Names, or Confoozled Names. Like me,Hunny's name when he came to Our Warren was s'sposed to be "HoneyBunny" onna'count obba Fakt that he wassa Light Brown Broken miniLop, but as he said, the Whole Name Wasn't His Frumma Beginning onna'count obba Fakt that he wasn't Broken (although Maman insisted on having him "'fixed"!) and he was ennyfing 'cept "mini" being full-sized for him, and with a bigger-than-usual appetite for food (you gotta know miniLops!). He was the usual seven-pound miniLop for most of his life, which issa Far Frum Small HouzRabbit! So the "HoneyBunny" name Did Not Belong To Him. But that's Whut He Was Called when he wassa YoungBun and stoopit hoomins bought him and kept him inna cage inna basemint until Maman rescued him and brought him to live at Our Warren inna habbytat where he hadda bondmate, Rainbow Maggie, anna 'Puter and aksess to "OnLine" and he began Living Assa Urban HouzRabbit. So when he learned how to type onna 'puter, and began his Bunny Ministry at Saint Luke's Church with the Rev'rind Doctor 'Ginny Sheay, he typed notes to sick children, and he allus signed the notes that he typed "Frum Your Friend At Our Warren, me,Hunny" onna'count obba Fakt typing was a Very Noo Fing for him. So hoomins thought that was his name, "meHunny".

But his name was actually just "Hunny" because Maman used to tell him he was "Her darling sweet bunny-boy.".

Which was sorta the Same Fing that happined to Rainbow "I, Me, Madeleine " Hanson. She was a Liddle Brown Holland Loppy Bunny Gurl who was very Insistant Upon Being Herself (as she should!). Belinda Bunny called it "Having Bunnatude" and Encouraged Her even though Madeleine had Plenty Of Encouragement Without Belinda making Fings Worse. Madeleine wanted to be sure that ebberybunny else unnerstood that she was named "Madeleine" and not "Maddie" or sum udder silly hoomin-made-up nick-name. She was Madeleine! So she typed Who She Was, and so hoomins called her Whut She Typed.

But We Know Who We Are. And Bunnies don't Take Names Lightly. Small fings mean a Lot inna small, confined world obba Warren Unnerground, so the position obba ear, or the turn obba head means a LOT above ground, WhereEver We Are. Just like A Name is Very Person'al, so is Real Estate, onna'count obba Fakt, it issa 'Flekshun, like inna mirror ob Who You Are and How You Fink.

Now, heer in Our Warren, nothing is Simple. Everything issa Joint Decision By Ebberybunny onna'count obba Fakt that this issa Multu-Species Warren where EbberyBunny finks he/she is In Charge. Da Dawg, being a Herding Dawg on top ob just Being a Dawg, finks we are all In His Pack. Cokie-da-Fat-Cat being a Cat, on top of finking he issa Biggest Cat Around, finks we are all In His Chowder. Maman and Dadda, being hoomin, fink they are atta Top Obba Evolutionary Chain, Pay Taxes and are The Owners Obba Whole Circus. And of course We Bunnies know that this is Our Warren and I, George, am TopBun heer, no madder how much Peeing Dusty does (because no madder *whut* I can pee farther, faster and in a wider pattern than he can! Besides I have been heer Longer and I was 'Pointed by Belinda Bunny and learned Da Lore frum me,Hunny *Senior Bun* of Our Warren! And YES, I'LL SPRAY EVERY INCH OF THIS BUNROOM TO PROVE IT! Which is preddy much Why Dadda Put Uppa Partition between Dusty And Me, so we wouldn't see each udder and keep having This Argumint.).

Ennyways...

It is preddy much as Maman says: "We gotta whole houz of 'Chiefs' and no 'tribal members', which Missy says is "Wrong!" onna'count obba Fakt that there is Dusty who is still too much obba YoungBun to hold a Position Of Enny Responsibility. Ebben Beep-the-Udder-Cat issa Top Member Inna Dawg's Imaginary Herd Of Wun. So ebberybunny heer is more or less "In-Charge" of Everybunny else, and Everybunny else rejects ennybunny else's Authority, which makes Life "preddy innerestin'" as Dadda allus says whenever we try to do ennyfing Alla Us Togedder. 

Which is why doing More Entries about Dif'frunt Bunnies' Fine Living Arrangemints inna Future Posties obba Hay Diaries is Important - onna'count obba Fakt it shows how Far we bunnies have come frumma days when we were The Voiceless, sold as cuddly toys and given names that were Not Our Own, confined to cages in back rooms and left off in cardboard boxes when we were No Longer Wanted.

Bunnies are EveryWhere! We are Doing Lotsa Fings! Our Friend Greg issa Therapy/Service Companion Bunny To Auntie 'Manda. Our Cousin Sheeba takes Unkul Peter with her on airplanes all over the United States! Our Cousin Rainbow Ashy 'Stablished "Dandelion County, Ashyville, Callyfornia" where his Pete still lives anna PeaForce Radio still broadcasts the Morning Chorus to Auntie Laura. Sundae and Beezer have their Ownliest Catz, Kit-Kat and Pogo-the-Baby, and get their pickchurs taken alla time by Auntie Judith! And Our Friends and Relayshuns in SoCal, Norman and Ragin' Riley run their Own Company (with Auntie Carla), HareWEAR, while Rainbow Simon, Rainbow Murphy and Rainbow Chef Wally, Forever Mr June! continue to inspire Auntie Carla's beautiful HareWARE!

We Bunnies have websites. We type blogs. We star in Video. We own Real Estate. We know about Fine Living. We Have Names!

Bunnies are Not Just For Easter! We are For Real!

------------------------------------------------ By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:50 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink

Well, Yestidday, I got sidetracked by typing about an OnGoing Problem Heer at Our Warren - which is Cold Blasts Up Missy's Bum - when I meant to type about Fine Living For HouzBunnies.

So Tidday I am going to type about Real Estate Ownership and Fine Living, even though once again, Maman got up at Six O'clock Inna Morning and Let Da Dawg Out Onna Furst Patrol, and once again, Missy was Occupying The High Ground by Sitting Inna Pootie-box and gotta Cold Blast of Air Up Her Bum. She has been complaining All Morning and gave Maman the RBB until Maman handed out the Eight O'clock Inna Morning Treats (which were Baby Organic Carrots this time. I dunno Whut Has Become obba Red Raisin Tub!).

Ennyways...

As every HouzRabbit knows, ALL BUNNIES are entitled to safe, clean housing inna Bunny Bill ob Rights. (This is the FURST DOCUMINT of it's kind, Typed BY Bunnies, FOR Bunnies! Here issa Link to to the RIFRAF website and there is also Wun onna sidebar obba Hay Diaries blog.) Howebber, SUM bunnies have rilly made the most of their Real Estate Hextperience to make Superior Lodgings and  create Fine Furnishings for the HouzRabbit of Serious Refinemint!

Yeah!

Wunna the FINEST Homes Beautiful was maintained by Our Cousin, Rainbow Ashy Tyler and his bestest buddy, Rainbow Eli, of Suddern Callyfornia. Obtaining the use of Their Very Own BunRoom frum Auntie Laura and Unkul Toby was, ob course, Ashy and Eli's Initial Order ob Biznizz. A sunroom, with Views, protected by glass, with screens to Let Inna Breezes (and keep out critters) and Air Conditioning to control Environmental Dangers fulfilled Ashy's Purpose to Establish a Proper BunHome afta his 'Fishul Adoption by Auntie Laura. (The Helicopter inna pikchur - just like Unkul Toby's - came a liddle later!)

Inna Pikchur atta Right is Ashy's Famous CheezHouz. Although originally intended for Cat-use, Ashy was able to adapt this fine lodging to his own Comfort. You will note the Large Number of Comfortable Opinings, Ideally Situated For Bunny Safety anna feelings ob Sekurity in case obba Emergency Exit. Bunnies never build a Warren with only Wun point of Entrance/Exit. This CheezHouz, although produced for Catz, fulfills HouzRabbit hextpecktayshuns for Superb Views with Ease of Motion. It's Triangular Shape makes it fit easily innu hoomin-designed Square Living Spaces, and it's Pleasing Cheerful Dandelion Colour fits in Nicely Wiffa Surrounding Desert Theme.

This issa Interior Pickshur of Rainbow Eli patiently arranging his Bedding Blankies inside obba Dandelion CheezHouz. Please note the Bloo Ornamint inna Complimenting Restful Bloor Colour that is hanging frumma Cheerful Yellow Ribbon inside obba Dandelion CheezeHouz. No detail has been left to chance! That Liddle Bloo Ornamint invites da Discriminating HouzBunny to come inside, to "Hab sum hay and habba Nap", inna Tranquil Setting ob Bunny Bliss. Who could possibly resist such a Wunnerful Invitation? Not Our Rainbow Eli!. 

This Pickchur features Ashy's Boat - a delightful extravagance for enny-bunny! The Cooling, Attractive Colour proclaims Wadder inna Dry Country and provides an Inviting Habbytat for the Tired HouzBunny! Naps inna Soft, Contoured Shape promise "Comfort!" in every gently curved line to cradle ebben the most Gen'rusly Pro'porshuned HouzRabbit. This Lovely HouzBoat also comes with Views anna'musing fake fishin' rod and Orange Faux Fish (that prob'ly 'muses Catz or sumfing!) that is built right innu its easy-to-clean, non-stick, easy-sliding Surfaces. Although another Cat-creation, this Nautical Confection of Comfort and Convenience is easily adapted to HouzBunny Living. Great Choice, Rainbow Ashy!

Of course, EbberyBunny knows that Little Rainbow Ashy issa King of Dandlion Country - and whut issa King wiffout a Castle? Heer we see Rainbow Ashy in His Castle. This Castle is s'specially designed with a bunny-in-mind! Note the large, imposing Main Entrance with it's Carefully Rounded Corners that create a Perfekt Circle for Easy Passage! This is easily Two-Bunnies Wide, even going at full stretch inna full Bunny-Five-Hunnert drive. Elegant White, always a Classic Choice in Colour matches easily innu the most Stoopit Hoomin Colour Schemes, and lends a Diggified Air of Authority and Elegance to this most Imposing of HouzBunny Residences. 

There is even a Balcony for Superior Views! Imagine Occupying This Higher Ground! Better than the largest pootie-box, this Castle Balcony offers a commanding sightline almost TWO FOOTS offa ground - higher than most houzbunnies at full periscope! Truly, Ashy's Dandelion County Castle presents Country HouzRabbit Living at its Finest! Anna Sekret Entrance issa *must* for all Castles, and this Wun is no Hextcepthun! A Satin Tunnel, inna Inviting Bloo Colour wiffa White Interior and hung wif Innerstin' Shapes provides a Bunny wiffa Perfekt Bungalow Effect, shielding him frum Prying Looks!

And ebbery King needs a Throne, so whut bedda wun for a Dandelion King, than a nice, soft Dandelion Throne-Pillow? This 'Mazin' Wunder in Green and Gold represents da Ultimate in Comfort and Contour, just right for those days when Lounging Around, and Dispensing Commints is Whut'cha Wanna Do - or when you wanna watch Law & Order onna Television, says Mr Mouse!

A Bloo Waffle Houz anna Bunny-Ears G'zaybo inna Herb Gardin help to complete the Look ob Ashyville, Ashy's Lovely Suddern Callyfornia Version obba Good Life. Fresh Herbs anna Fresh pootie-box are prerequisites to Fine Living Assa Urban Rabbit!

And finally, for those Urban HouzRabbits who prefer the delights obba More Rural Retreat, here issa pikchur heer ob Rainbow Ashy's Willow Tent - that most Essential Lodging for Country Gentlebun. Note the All-Natchural Constructshun and the Untreated Willow Sticks. We're talking Hours ob Chewing Pleasure in Wun Tent! Fulfill your Unnergroun' Fantasies speeding through this A-Frame Design, with Easy Akcess, both Frunt and Back!

And for those time when Our Cuzzin, Rainbow Ashy felt like *Rilly* Getting Away Frum It All, he had his Handy Willow Basket in which to "Turn Turtle" and get innu his "shell"! A Perfekt Way to relax and recharge away frumma prying Hoomin Eyes!

Ashyville issa Hextample of Whut Wun Bunny can Achieve inna Way of Fine Living Assa Urban Rabbit. There are Udder Bunnies ob Our Warren's Friends and Relayshuns who have Achieved Fine Living also, whose Homes I hope to Feature in Future entries obba Hay Diaries. Rainbow Ashy's Domain issa West Coastie HouzRabbit Home; I hope to show you anudder West Coastie version ob Fine Living wif Beezer and Sundae, and I also wanna show you how life is Libbed in Elegance onna East Coast by Our Cousins, Janie and Bailey (but right now, Our Cousin Janie issa Liddle Unner da Wedder, so please send her sum **Be Well Bunny!** vibes!)

And please Bemember That Bunnies are Not For Easter! We are Companion Animals who share your Life! Please Adopt! Learn More! Give a bunny a Second Chance to have a Forever Home!

-------------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:30 PM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink

Whoa!

Is it ever Wild and Wet and Windy outside today heer at Our Warren!

Not to menton Cold, as Missy just did when Maman let Da Dawg in frum being Out Inna Back Gardin onna'nudder Patrol.

Missy says she has About Had It with sitting inna Pootie-Box and getting a Cold Blast up her Butt when Maman or Dadda Opins the Back Door to either Let In or Let Out Da Dawg.

For Some Reason, Da Dawg doesn't have a Pootie-Box inna Houz.

He says he can't hextplain it, but Dawgs in general do not have pootie-boxes inna Houz. I dunno why not, either.

The Catz have two of them Uppystairs in their Apartmint: the Evil Machine Pootie-Box, that Cokie-the-Fat-Cat says Empress KayCee calls "Cat TeeVee" and a Regular Pootie-Box that mostly belongs to Beep-the-Udder-Cat. They have Arrangemints about these Two Pootie-Boxes that are All Their Own.

Onna Udder Paw, Alla Us Togedder each have Pootie-boxes all of Our Own heer in Our Habbytats.

Missy and I share a Big Wun, in which we can both fit togedder. Hexcept that doesn't happen too oftin onna'count obba Fakt that Missy thinks it's all Hers. Sum Days, she just parks her Beautiful BunnyButt of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns in that pootie-box and won't get out!

Even when Maman puts in sumfing for us to eat, like a Baby Organic Carrot or a handful of hay Frumma Noo Bale, MissyBun just stays with her butt glued to that pootie-box and *leeeens waaaay* out as far as she can without tipping over, and tries to pull whutever it is that she wants back innu the pootie-box with her.

And sumtimes, Maman even helps her!

Yeah!

Maman will hand-deliver stuff right TO Missy while she is inna Pootie-box!

It's like, Missy says to Maman, "Hey wady! I can't reach!"

And Maman will say to Missy. "Get outta the pootie-box, Missy."

And Missy is like, "Bring it to me?" with this Hopeful Look and her Cute turned on.

And Maman issa Idiot and brings whutebber, right to Missy and holds it for her to eat!

The Hopeful Look doesn't werk so well with Dadda, even with Missy's Cute running full blast.

Because Missy will be sitting inna Pootie-box and Dadda will put a treat or sumfing innu Our Habbytat and Missy will turn onna Hopeful Look and sum Cute and she'll say to Dadda, "Hey, you. Bring dat ober heer, hokay?"

And Dadda will look at Missy and laugh and say, "You're outta luck, Bug-a-Lugs. Ger'offa yon dung heap and get'cher own. It'll do you good."

And Missy will be like *sulk* and sit and glare for awhile, and do the Disapproving Rabbit Fing for awhile to him to show him how 'nnoyed she is, until I start eating whutebber it is that we've gotten. Then she'll get outta the pootie-box inna Big Hurry onna'count obba Fakt that she Disapproves more of me Eating Alla Ennyfing than she does of Dadda 'Sulting Her.

And afta she's managed to eat as much of Ennyfing as she possibly can, she gets back inna Pootie-box again.

She calls this "Occupyin' the High Ground" and says its Whut Hunny Said to Do.

Which is more or less Troo.

In Wunna The Furst Posts in The Hay Diaries, me,Hunny *Seniore Bun* of Our Warren, wrote that it is Important to Allus Occupy the High Ground onna'count of Several Fakts:

1. Every bunny knows that you can best scout for on-coming danger frumma High Ground
2. Being Forewarned allows you to Make Plans Ahead Ob Time and Avoid Panicking Later.
3. Shows EveryBunny that you are behaving Responsibly and Seriously taking your part inna Defence Obba Warren.

Hunny also said that you should Occupy the High Ground Frequently, even if your High Ground is only Two Inches Offa Floor.

So, yeah, Missy is Right About This. Occupying The High Ground is Part Obba Lore.

However, whut is Not Inna Lore is that you're s'sposed to Occupy the High Ground every second of every minute of every day of every week, full-time, all Year and not Let Ennybunny Else have a Turn To Sit Onit.

Missy hassa lotta Great Attributes, like her Beautiful Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, and her Delightful Cute, but Sharing is Not Wunna Them!

Sumtimes a bun has just gotta go, and then, Missy and I have whut Maman calls "BugTussels" to figger out who is gonna sit inna Pottie-box. 

It is onna'count of these "BugTussels" that Maman says I am a "Determined" sort of Bunny.

I am not "Determined"; I am Desperate, lemme tell you!

And I don't mean to flick pooties outta the pootie-box onna BunRoom floor, either. That just sorta happins when I get traction onna'count obba Fakt that I am inna hurry to get out before Missy barges innu me, trying to get back in.

Anna Peeing Onna Dawg... That's all Missy.

And she is getting Good At It onna'count obba Fakt Da Dawg issa Reason that the Back Door to the Gardin keeps getting opined up and Alla Cold Air is coming in to blow on her butt while she's sitting inna Pootie-box.

If Da Dawg could just learn to use a Pootie-box like ebberybunny else around heer in Our Warren, Fings would be a LOT BEDDA!

*geez*

Ennyways...

I was gonna type about Real Estate Ownership For Bunnies today, but I guess I will have to type about that On Anudder Day. Our Warren has Friends and Relayshuns who have made Impressive Progress In Living As Urban Rabbits, and I s'specially want to showcase some obba HouzRabbit HouzBeautifuls inna Future Blog Entry. Please Watch This Space!

------------------------------------------------ By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:18 PM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Well, since Maman lost my Udder Entry forda Hay Diaries about Nothing Going On (in five-hunnert werds), I will type a Noo Wun.

Because, lemme tell you, there is *still* Nothing Going On Around Heer!

Well, hexcept mebbe "Canasta".

I don't know hextactly whut "Canasta" is, but it seems to be happening heer.

It starts out like this: Phil calls Maman and Maman axts him "How menny?"

And then Maman goes innu the Salad Bank and makes a withdrawl.

We usually get a couple of Baby Organic Carrots or else a Small Handful of Romaine Leaves. The Udder Day, we got Appul Slices, and once, we each got a Spoonful of Hulled, unSalted Sunflower Seeds!

Yeah!

So this part of "Canasta" isn't too bad!

Because Maman makes sumkinda Soup and then she Bakes A Cake.

Now "Cake" is strange.

When Our Cousin Sheeba brought Unkul Peter to visit and Auntie Grace (who issa Mawmie to The Herd In Kin-Tuck-Eee) came atta same time, Auntie Grace came down frum her room Uppystairs (with Cokie-the-Fat-Cat) and axted Maman, "Whut's for breakfast?"

And Maman said, "I dunno. I was so busy planning the Dinner-Pawtee for Last Night and everyfing else, I forgot to plan breakfast."

And Auntie Grace said, "You sure planned for enough Cake, Char. Lookit - there's Cake on the table, two pies inna refrigerator, anna cheeseCake. Gosh that was good cheeseCake. I think I'm going to have more of that for breakfast."

And Maman was like, "Why not? There's no kidlets around. We're adults. We don't have to be role-models. To heck with it! Let's have Cake For Breakfast!"

And Auntie Grace said, "That's right. We're on vacation. We don't have to be responsible adults. Let's have Cake. Where are the plates?"

And Maman got out plates and forks and she and Auntie Grace got out the two pies and the cheeseCake and got the Udder Cake frum the Dining Room table and were busy hacking away at that when Unkul Peter came outta his room and axted, "Whut's going on, ladies?"

And Auntie Grace said, "We're having Cake For Breakfast."

And Uncle Peter was like, "Cake? We're having Cake For Breakfast? Yes, I think I'll have some!"

And Maman was like, "It's good for you. Like Bill Cosby says, it has wheat, milk, cheese, and vitamins in it. The pies have fruit and everybun knows fruit is good for you. Have some!"

And Unkul Peter said, "You don't have to axt me twice!"

Then Dadda came outta the Bedroom and of course, he was fine with the idea of "Cake For Breakfast." because they were all "Adults" and didn't have to "set a Hextample" to enny "liddle Kids" or ennyfing like that.

So they all ate Cake For Breakfast and then had Cake For Lunch, and Maman said it was Tradishun'l to have Cake For Tea and then there were the Snack Cakes. And Cake has become Sum Kinda Joke for them.

So Maman told Phil about "Cake For Breakfast" and he told The Rent-A-Teens, which would be Jeff and Sherwin, and then the Rest of Phil's Friends, which would be Laura and Dan.

So they come over to Our Warren and Maman makes them Cake For Breakfast, too.

And they get all Hextcited about Cake For Breakfast, too, onna'count obba Fakt that they are now Adults Too and don't have enny "Liddle Kids" around to have to be "Role Models" for. 

And then they hang around Our Warren while Maman makes Soup, and come and go and "Run Errands" to go get "Good Bread", onna'count obba Fakt that Maman says there is "No point in making Good Soup unless you have Good Bread to eat with it" and that it's the "least they can do to help" onna'count obba Fakt that she "had children because slavery is illegal."

So then Dadda comes Back Frum Werking and they all sit down atta Dining Room Table and eat soup, and then comes this "Canasta" fing.

Which I fink has to do with the "Good Bread" onna'count obba Fakt that Laura comes innu the BunRoom and shares summa Good Bread with Alla Us Togedder.

Which is berry nice ob her, so we Gen'rally Approve of Her, just as we Gen'rally Approve of Jeff and Sherwin onna'count obba Fakt they have been around heer so long. Missy says we should Gen'rally Approve of Dan, soonest, but because he is still Noo, he hasta be heer longer and bring more Treats. Prob'ly raisins.

So ennyways, Maman and Dadda Gen'rally Approve of this "Canasta" fing and so do We. I can't say that I'm All That Impressed by Good Bread, but I'm not much for ennyfing that isn't green or wrinkled like raisins, you know? But Missy, Dusty, Foxie and Mr Mouse all like it. 

So that's Whut's Going On at Our Warren.

Canasta. Good Food, Good Friends, Good Fun!

------------------------------------------ By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:02 PM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Hokay, I am over being MAD and have retured to being just George.

Not that Maman has changed or apologised or given me enny more Raisins for just me or even realised that she did ennyfing wrong or ennyfing, it's just that HouzBunnies do not Hold Grudges. There is No Point. Me going on expending the Effort To Be Mad isn't going to change Missy's Foor-Hoovering Habits and it's not going to Raise Maman's Intelligence Quotient. It's just going to take up a Lotta My Time And Effort to Stay Mad and I Got Bedda Fings To Do.

Like staying Outta the Way of Nail-Clipping and Butt-Plucking!

Yeah!

I have just Observed Maman Talking with Auntie Carla.

You bemember Auntie Carla - she issa Mawmie of Norman and Ragin' Riley who are the bunnies who run the HAREWEAR company where Maman and lots of Udder Hoomins purchase the Wunnerful Tee-shirts and Eco-Friendly Totes and Stuff, where Part Obba Profits go to Benefit Shelter Bunnies!

Yeah!

And Auntie Carla makes HAREWARE, which is beautiful pottery, onna'count obba Fakt that she is an Artist Who Werks In Clay. Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren are getting togedder alla change that we can find inna cushions and onna floor anna Cokie-the-Fat-Cat is hiding it frum Maman, Dadda and Phil so we can buy Dadda a Noo HAREWARE Tea-Vat!

But don't tell. It's a Sekret Birfday Gift frum Alla Us Togedder. We're trying to figger out how to tell Norm hextacktly whut it hasta look like, so he can tell Auntie Carla so she can make it. Of course it involves Lotsa e-mailing.

So ennyways...

Lastest Night, Maman was inna Kitchin making Salads - mostly Romaine Cups, which are just big Romaine Leaves Filled with Fresh Certified-Organic-Grown Herbs and Wun Baby Orgainic Carrot and last night came with a Sprinkling of SunMaid Golden Raisins with Zante Currants. You can eat the serving plates, which are the Romaine leaves, which Maman finks is Preddy Innovative and Saves Trees onna'count obba Fakt there are no Untreated Paper Plates involved.

When suddinly, Dadda swoops in and grabs up Mr Mouse frum his Habbytat!

Just like that!

He grabs Mr Mouse and says, "Come on, son." and out they go innu the Dining Room.

And Dadda hassa nail-clippers. So he sets Mouse down on his lap and starts *snip!*ing Mr Mouse's toe-nails!

Just like that!

And then Maman comes over and she's petting Mr Mouse onna head and saying, "That's a good little Mouse-bunny!" and the whole time, she's plucking loose fur offa his butt!

And Dadda says, "Look. Mouse hassa 'VPL'!" and he laughs.

And Maman axts, "Whut's that?"

And Dadda hextplains, "VisiblePantyLine."

And Mouse grunts, "INDIGGITY! Help!"

But we're like, in our habbytats onna'count obba Fakt it's Salad Time (but there's no Salads yet!) so it's not like we can do ennyfing to help the Situation going on inna Dining Room.

So we hear Dadda say to Mouse, "Come on, Grunter, let's turn you around, old son."

And Maman is going, "There's a good HouzBunnyRabbit." while she's still plucking fur frum outta his butt!

And Mouse shouts, "Hold it! I'm on my back!"

And I like yell in, "Hang on, Mouse! There's nuffin we can do!"

And Mouse shouts back, "Oh you're a Big Help!"

And Maman says to Dadda, "He's just the sweetest little guy when he's out, you know, dear? All that grunting and boxing is just *such* a show!"

And Dadda says, "Let me flip him up on my shoulder." and then he says, "There. Look at that, darling. He's a little cuddler."

And Mouse grunts, "Cuddler My Butt! Help! She's Plucking My Butt!"

And Dadda says, "I think that's all you're going to get off him tonight, dear."

And Mouse goes, "Damn straight."

And Dadda carries Mr Mouse back innu his habbytat.

And then Foxie, who is still Noo To Our Warren is standing up in her habbytat, watching. But I can't see that onna'count obba Fakt that there is that Partition that Dadda put up between Dusty and me to keep us frum having that Pee War we were having to see Who Was Gonna Be Top Bun.

So I couldn't warn her.

So I hear Dadda say, "Oh look! Little Princess wants to have hers done, too!"

And too late, I yell, "Foxie! Get down!"

Onna'count obba Fakt, I hear Dadda opin her habbytat and she, Silly Gurl, climbs right up ober Dadda's shoulder!

And Missy turns to me and she's like, "Well, that was stoopit. See that? All cute and no brains."

And Dadda is carrying Foxie out innu the Dining Room.

And Maman says, "Be careful, Brian. Foxie has never had her nails clipped."

And Dadda is, like, "I know."

And Foxie is, like, "Nails clipped? Whut?"

And Mouse yells in, "Just hang on tight and sit still! If he misses all your blood comes out!"

Now this isn't Hextactly Troo, but Troo Enuf that it can get you a Ride Inna Car Toda V-E-T's if it happins. And it can LOOK *rilly* skerry, s'specially if you are a white bunny, lemme tell you!

And Foxie is, like, "Whaaaaa!"

And Missy yells in, "Hold STILL! Don't moob! Just let him ged on wiffit!"

And then Foxie yells, "But she's pluckin' my butt!"

And Missy yells, "Forgedabouddit! Hang on!"

And Maman's going, "My goodness, Brian! Just look at all the fur I'm getting out of her!"

And Dadda hextplains, "Well, it's Shedding Season, I expect."

And I'm, like, "Well yeah. And we'd like a little privacy..."

And Maman goes, "I'm going to have to Brush EveryBunny, then. And we'll increase Hay Time to twice a day. We can't afford any Gut-slow-downs if we can help it."

And Dadda says, "It's a Good Thing I bought a New Bale."

And Missy's like, "Noo Bale? There's a Noo Bale? Why haven't I seen enny of this Noo Bale? Why am I eating the Same Old Hay frumma Last Bale, huh? Whut's up wiffat, George? George? George! They're feeding us frumma Old Bale! And there's a Noo Bale I dunno nuffin' about!"

And I'm like, "Don't look at me! I dunno ennnyfing aboudd'a Noo Bale, either! Mebbe it's inna Hay Locker outside and hasn't come in yet."

And Missy hops innu the pootie-box where she can stand over me, and looks down and says, "George Bunny. If you are keeping a Noo Bale Sekret Frum Me onna'count obba Fakt you fink I'm not Gonna Share It..."

And I'm, like, "Lookit, you hoovered up alla my raisins, didn't you?"

And she's like, "That's dif'frunt. Maman gave them To Us."

And I'm like, "The operative werd in there is 'Us', Missy. It means 'more than just wun bunny'." and I like settled down on all four paws.

So then Dadda brings Foxie back innu the BunRoom and puts her back innu her habbytat.

And then he comes and opins Missy and My habbytat!

And he goes, "Hello, George-the-Bun. How you doing, Bug-a-Lugs?"

And it's Missy's turn to be MAD. So she glares up at Dadda and yells, "Hey Buster! Whuttaboudda Noo Bale you're hidin' sumwheres, huh? This is UnFair Treatment Ob HouzRabbits! If you ebben FINK you're gonna trim OUR NAILS..."

And turn my head around to talk to her and I'm, like, "Shhhhh! Missy! Shaddup! Will you shaddup, Missy? He hasn't said a FING aboud trimmin' Our Nails! Don't bring it up! Shhhh!!" and I bring my ear up inna'larm, and it flaps acrosst her nose.

And she's too MAD to even notice I'm talking to her, let alone notice my ear over her nose, so she goes on, yellin', "If you even FINK about trimming Our Nails you BEDDA BE FINKIN' aboud'da Noo Bale..." and it's so loud, I gotta close down that ear or go deaf, so I reel it in.

And alla suddin, Dadda bursts out laughing.

And Maman calls in frumma Kitchin, "Whut's so funny"

And Dadda says, "Missy and George. I don't know Whut She Said, but she must have certainly Pissed Him Off. He just swung his head around, flipped up his ear and flapped her straight in the face! Oh dear, you have *got* to come see this!"

And I'm sitting there, like, "Well, you know, I didn't realise she was *that* close when I turned my head..."

And Missy is just sitting inna pootie-pan, glaring and grumbling, "I just wanna hab summa that Noo Bale, Stoopit!"

And Maman tells Dadda to opin uppa top ob our habbytat and she comes in and gives us our Romaine Cups. And she axts Dadda, "You fink we should do George and Missy's nails, too?"

And Dadda, who is still chuckling as he's giving Dusty his Romaine Cup, says, "No, two is Enuf Madness for one night. We'll get them tomorrow."

And Missy is like, "So where's the Noo Bale? That's Whut I Wanna Know!" as she's looking over the Romain Cup.

But I didn't say ennyfing. I was alreaddy eating onna'count obba Fakt I had discovered Raisins and Zante Currants inna Romaine Cups.

There are times when it Doesn't Pay to Stay MAD!

-------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:56 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Hokay, so I'm MAD!

I mean it!

I'm MAD!

Angry!

An OFFICALLY *RILLY* PISSED-OFF, FURIOUSLY ANGRY BUNNY RABBIT!

Just so we're clear about that.

Inna Furst Place, Maman LOST WUNNA MY POSTS!

Yeah.

You'll notice that DAY NUMBER 27 is totally missing frum the Whole Hay Diariaes Blog.

It's NoWhere's. I've looked in the Whole Hay Diaries Folder in Maman's 'Puter, and through the Whole Stoopit Hard-Drive and it's not ENNY WHERES TO BE FOUND!

But I KNOW-FOR-A-FAKT that I typed it. I BEMEMBER typing it onna'count obba FAKT it was about how I couldn't figger out WHUTTAHECK I WAS GONNA TYPE ABOUT!

Yeah.

It wassa WHOLE Entry about me not habbin' WUN FING that was WORTH my time sitting up heer typing about. And I managed to type about five-hunnert werds about *that* - which Maman managed to LOSE bifore I posted it! She didn't even save it to my Hay Diaries file! She didn't save it ennywheres! She LOST IT!

So now it doesn't even EXIST.

And *THAT* sucks, you know?

And ON TOP OF LOSING MY POST, do you know WHUT ELSE happined to make me MAD?

Maman ran OUT of Baby Organic Carrots!

Yeah!

So when it was Treat-time at Eight O'clock Inna Morning, Maman called Alla Us Togedder and said,

"Since we are outta all the Baby Organic Carrots, I'm going to have to give you Five Raisins Apiece."

And she got out the Red Can!

And We all saw it and started to get Hextcited, and started to do our Little Raisin Dance.

So Mr Mouse stands up and starts snuffling and Maman puts FIVE Liddle Raisins in his food crock.

And Dusty stands up and starts Buzzing and Maman puts FIVE Little Raisins in his food crock.

And Foxie stands up and starts making her little buzzing noises and Maman puts FIVE Little raisins innu her food crock, too.

Then Maman holds out a Bunch of Raisins on her hand while Missy and I are circling around doing Our Raisin Dance. 

And I take Wun and don't you know Missy hoovers the Whole Rest Of The Bunch of Raisins in Maman's Hand, and SUCKS THEM RIGHT UP INNU HER CHEEKS!

ALL AT ONCEST!
 

YEAH!

SHE POUCHED THEM!

Can you believe that?

She sucked up every, SINGLE wun of those liddle, tasty raisins, right up innu her cheeks and then TURNED HER BACK ON ME and sat there, chewing!

I mean, *RILLY*

And Maman's there, like, "Missy! You're supposed to share with George!"

And Missy's like, "Wrong!" and she's still chewing.

So I ran around to the frunt of Missy and tried to stick my nose innu her mouth, but she put her head up way-up high and kept right on chewing.

And Maman is like, "Missy!" and Missy is still chewing.

And I'm there with my head prak'ticly stuck up her nose, trying to pry just wunna those raisins out frum between her toofies, but Missy's jaws are going like a mulching machine. There's just no way to get in there!

And then she SWALLOWED - AND ALLA RAISINS WERE GONE!

And I'm like, "MISSY!"

And Maman is like, "Well, now I gotta get more raisins for Poor Little George."

And I'm finking, "Damn straight."

So Maman went and carefully tipped out sum more Raisins in her hand.

And she comes back with the Raisins, all right, and opens her hand right unner'neaf of my nose, so that Missy can't even get a look-in, and I quickly suck up the raisins that's in there.

And there's TWO.

TWO MEASLY RAISINS!

I mean it - Will sumBunny tell me, please, HOW DO TWO, TINY WRINKLED RAISINS EQUAL WUN BABY ORGANIC CARROT?

When Missy got AT LEAST TEN OBBA BUGGERS?

THIS IS NO FAIR!

So I am MAD!

And not only am I MAD, but ebberyBUNNY inna Whole Darned Warren is MAD, too!

Onna'count obba Fakt that NoBUN finks this SMALL NUMBER OF RAISINS even comes CLOSE to being EQUAL TO WUN Baby Organic Carrot!

So we figger we are ALL VICTIMS heer. So we are ALL giving Maman the RBB.

But me, 'specially. Onna'count obba Fakt that Maman not only FED MISSY MORE RAISINS THAN ME, and then ONLY GAVE ME TWO STOOPIT RAISINS OF MY OWN but she ALSO LOST MY BLOG ENTRY FOR DAY NUMBER 27!

I am gonna go SULK!

So there.

------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:56 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink

So Maman had her third Cuppa Coffee and said to me,

"You know, we have a 'puter, so there is no excuse for not coming back from the market with the Things We Need!"

And went to sit down at her desk.

And MissyBun, who had been hextploring the rubbish bin (nothing good innit) onna floor nextest to Maman's desk, looked up at me and axt,

"Whuttaheck wassa alla'bout?"

And I said I sure didn't know, but I would Continue To Watch Maman frum my place heer onna Foo-ton in case something Began To Happin.

You Never Know around here.

And Missy went back to hextploring around the edges obba room, like she allus does.

So a Liddle Later On, Maman called innu Dadda In His Office,

"You have a minute?"

And because Dadda is preddy used to her afta eight years, he stopped Whut He Was Doing and came innu Maman's Study and sat down onna Footon nextest to me and said, "How are you doing, son?"

And I said everything on my End Of Things looked fine, but that Maman was making Disconnected Remarks again, and I was Keeping My Eye on her and Would Let Him Know if things began to go all pear-shaped.

So while Dadda and I had that Liddle Hextchange in Lagomorphin, Maman said that she was trying to think of New Ways to BunProof sum Rooms.

BunProofing is something bunny parents fink is Responsible Behaviour. It is Actually 'Nnoying Behaviour that removes Ennyfing Inneresting to a Bunny frumma Room. Most BunProofing involves either putting up barriers, installing baby-gates, closing doors, or otherwise controlling Where We Go. Other BunProofing has to do with Covering Up Wires.

Maman says that BunProofing is For Our Own Good.

Yeah.

Now, according to The Lore, as it was told to me by me,Hunny *Senior Bun* of Our Warren,  BunProofing in Our Warren began A Long Time Ago with "Oi Belinda!" (It seems to me that a great menny fings in Our Warren had sumfing to do with Belinda Bunny one way or another!).

Now, Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren unnerstand a certain number of Inkwish werds, but the Furst Werd ennybunny learns is the werd, "No!". This is onna'count obba Fakt  that "NO!"  is allways the werd that Maman shouts most oftin during Playtime.

So when Belinda Bunny would go near to a wire or sumfing straggling like a vine across the floor during her Playtime, Maman would call out, "No, Belinda."

And Belinda would stop looking at the wire or whutebber and turn and look at Maman to see why she was making noise. And when Maman didn't make enny udder noises or seem to be offering Belinda a Treat or ennyfing worth looking at like that, Belinda would turn back to looking atta wire or whutebber that was straggling across her path onna floor.

And Maman would say again, "No, Belinda!". Only this time, she would say it louder.

And Belinda would look back at Maman and Maman still wouldn't say ennyfing else or have ennyfing in her hands that Belinda wanted, and would just be standing there and smiling.

So Belinda would fink to herself, "Well, dis hoomin is preddy useless." and go right back to looking at the wire or vine or whutebber it was that was lying in her path and might trip her up if she didn't snip it and get it out of her way.

And then Maman would start shouting, "Belinda! No!"

And Belinda wouldn't bother to look at her again. Because Belinda was an Inkwish Spot kind of bunny and they are whut Maman calls Very Project-Oriented Bunnies. They don't do Useless Stuff.

And ennyways, Belinda said she figgered, "Why look atta crazy person who wasn't going to gib me ennyfing ennyways?"

Besides, there was this vine, or wire or whutebber inna way that needed to be trimmed, and... HouzRabbits, particuarly Inkwish Spot HouzBunnies, are preddy logical this way.

So Belinda went to trim the wire outta her way and Maman started yelling, "Belinda! NO! NO, Belinda! NO! No! No! No-no-no-nononooo, NO! Belinda! NO!"

And Belinda would go ahead and *snip* the vine or wire or whutebber and toss it out of her way, so she could hop around the room without having to worry about tripping over it.

So Maman complained to Dadda that her stuff wouldn't werk onna'count obba Fakt Belinda had snipped the wires to it, so Dadda went to this place called Home Depot and brought home this long, white, hollow tube called "pipe". And he put the wires inside of the "pipe" and he and Maman called this BunProofing.

Well, lemme tell you, Belinda said it was easier to trip over wunna those "pipe" fings than over a liddle wire, so when she happined across the noo "pipe" fings, she stopped and hadda close look at it.

And Dadda said to Maman, "She can't do a thing to that. It's PVC vy-nal."

And Belinda looked the "pipe" fing up and down and alla suddin outta nowhere, Maman said, "No, Belinda."

And Belinda looked at Maman, thought, "Heer we go again." and then went back to studying the "pipe" problem.

And Maman said it again: "No, Belinda. Don't you dare!"

And Belinda looked at Maman again to be polite, but as usual, Maman wasn't offering her ennyfing or enny Treats, or ennyfing. She was just standing there, saying "No, Belinda."

So Belinda went back to pondering the "pipe" that was long and white and right across her path.

And Maman suddinly started yelling, "Brian, she's going to - No, Belinda! Don't! Belinda, NO! No, Belinda!"

And the alla suddin, Dadda yelled, "Oi! Belinda!"

But it was Too Late.

Belinda had chomped down onna "pipe" fing and snapped it in two.

"Just like a twig." She said later. 

And she hopped right over it.

So Dadda went back to the place called "Home Depot" and gotta bigger round tunnel-like fing that was about half as tall as a bunny, that even Belinda couldn't get her mouth around. And he put alla wires inna room innu it. And he fastened wun end obba tunnel-fing to wun wall and the udder end to the udder wall and it went across the floor.

It was Very Effective BunProofing. During the day, it was easy to see, onna'count obba fakt that it lay across the floor like a Reg'lar Speed Hump and we bunnies hopped right over it and never once bothered the wires or whutebber inside, and during the Dark, only bunnies could see it. Visiting Dawgs and hoomins usually fortygot it was there and fell ober it.

So preddy soon, Maman got Anudder BunProofing Idea and started putting up these white, plastic-like lattice panels inna'nudder room, with alla lamp wires and stuff running behind them. And then she told Alla Us Togedder that we hadda stay in that room and she put uppa Baby-gate so we couldn't Get Out anna Catz and Dawg couldn't Get In.

And that is anudder kind of BunProofing which werked fine until Maman and Dadda Officially Got Old and Maman couldn't get ober the baby-gates ennymore.

And once Phil tried putting a Screen Door onna BunRoom, which werked preddy good, too, until Cokie-the-Fat-Cat accidentally motored through the bottom of it. Then Phil put on a half-door, like a stable door, but had Trubble hanging it, so it never lined up Quite Right and Couldn't Close. But the Idea of making a door that hoomins could see over but bunnies would be safe behind wassa Good Idea While It Lasted kinda fing.

And those are Udder Hextamples of BunProofing that have been tried heer at Our Warren. And the funny fing is that Maman still believes in BunProofing!

So she's At It Again.

Her Noo Idea is to put Wun Baby-Gate at Wun End obba hallway anna'nudder Baby-Gate atta Udder End obba hallway and to let us hab our Playtime inna hallway. She says that way, there will be No Wires to Snip. No reasons to play "Oi, Belinda!" with enny of Us. And that it will Have To Do until Summer Comes Again and we can all go out onna Screen Porch and have That To Ourselves.

So Here We Go Again.

I'll let you know.

----------------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 1:02 PM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

I am having a hard time coming up with a New Entry for The Hay Diaries tiday.

There is Nothing Going On here at Our Warren at all.

So far this morning, We Woke Up.

Maman came out inna Kitchin while it was Still Dark and discovered that she and Dadda had fortygot to put enny Wadder & Coffee inna CoffeeMaker last night.

So there was no hot coffee waiting for inna Coffee Pot like there usually is.

Well, Maman said "Bugger" and put wadder innu Dadda's Kettle, and put sum stuff frumma cabinet innu her Big Cup and Got Milk outta the Salad Bank. Then when Dadda's Kettle "popped" she filled up her Big Cup with *rilly* hot wadder so that it overflowed all over the counter and ran all down the cupboards and across the floor

And Missy said to me, "I don't fink that was sus'posed to happin."

And I replied, "Me either."

So you'd have thought Maman might have said sumfing, mebbe in Anglo-Saxon or sumfing, but she didn't. She just stood there for a coupla'minutes, looking.

Then she grabbed on to the roll of kitchin-towels and pulled - and miles and miles of kitchin-roll rolled offa roll, all over the counter and downna-sink.

And Missy said to me, "I don't fink *dat* was sus'posed to happin, eidder."

Anna'gain Maman just stood there again, innaDark, and looked.

And we could hear the sound of the Wadder dripping offa cupboards anna counter and Mouse said that he could see the dark puddle of sumfing sorta streaming across the Kitchin floor and forming a sorta lake by the Rubbish Bin.

And Maman was just standing there innaDark, looking.

So she tore offa bunch of kitchin-towels and started wiping.

And that took her Awhile onna'count obba Fakt there was Quite A Lot of Whutebber she had put innu her Big Cup and overflowed all over the place.

So she got it all mopped up frum the counter, then hadda get down onna Kitchin Floor to mop that all up. Then it took her Awhile to climb back up on her feets  again, using the handles onna cupboard to pull herself up onna'count obba Fakt of her Arthuritis, I guess. So finally, she got stood upright again, and she looked in her Big Cup, stuck her finger innit and said, "Bugger" again.

And she dumped everyfing inna Big Cup innu the sink.

And Missy said to me, "This prob'ly isn't the time to axt her for Baby Organic Carrots or ennyfing."

And I said, "Prob'ly not."

So Maman spooned sum more stuff innu her Big Cup, hooked her finger over the top obba cup and poured in more Wadder frum Dadda's Kettle until she said "Ouch!" and pulled out her finger outta the Cup inna hurry. Then she put her finger back over the edge of her cup and poured in sum milk.

Then she came back innu the BunRoom, and put the milk back inside the Salad Bank.

And she turned to Missy and said, "Don't even."

And Missy said, "Wouldn't fink obbit."

And Maman went back innu the Kitchin, and picked up her Big Cup.

Then Da Dawg came out frumma Bedroom, being all waggy and looking hopeful, and Maman told him inna loud whisper, "And you know where you can go, Mister."

And Da Dawg revered paws, and was like, "On my way!"

And he went back inna Bedroom, but it was too early for him to wake up ennyways.

So Maman went on through the Living Room and we heard her climb slowly  Uppystairs wun atta time.

And we heard her open the Door Atta Top obba Stairs, and tell Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, "Lookit, Cat, this ain't your day."

And then we heard her Shut The Door!

And that's how it's been All Morning: Maman Uppystairs and Alla Us Togedder,  Still Down Heer, in Our Habbytats.

But there is Hope. Dadda Waked Up and he Made Coffee and took a Cup To Maman just a Liddle While Ago. So she might come down soonest!

But for right now, there's Nothing Going On here at Our Warren.

------------------------------- By George...

Posted by Our Warren at 12:14 PM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

So Missy put her paws up onna Foo-ton this morning and looked at me, and said,

"Hey! You gonna mention inna Hay Diaries that Our Auntie Michelle Auletta, Esq. was on television for putting that animal abuser in jail for two years?"

And I was like, "Yeah. onna'count obba Fakt that she issa ownliest Suffolk County SPCA Prosecutor and Smart, Famous Person we heer at Our Warren actually know. She got justice for poor Maximus Dog."

And Missy said, "Yeah, and she was onna 'YouTube', too. Put that inna Hay Diaries, too. Just so animal abusers ebberywheres know that if they Break The Law and hurt an animal in Suffolk County Noo Yawk, Auntie Michelle is gonna Bring the Order Part down on their heads." And Missy chuckled.

"Mr Mouse said that." She added. And when I didn't say ennyfing clever she sort of frowned and said, "Well, I thought Whut He Said was cute. Ennyways, Judge Rudy Esquehare and Pumpkin are *rilly* proud ob their Mawmie! 'Bout time sumbunny started doin' sumfing Right about animal abuse, onna'count obba fakt it's wrong!"

And she looked at me and frowned again. "I said that and I thought that was preddy cute, too. Ennyways, Mr Mouse is proud ob Auntie Michelle, too. He said she issa Bestest ADA inna Whole Wide Werld and not just in Suffolk County Noo Yawk. He said she might even be as good a ADA as good Jack McCoy on Law and Order - afta all, they are both on television and famous and all. But Auntie Michelle is prettier and she can afford a whole car and not just a moddercykle."

And then Missy glared at me.

And I'm, like, "Whut?", because I was still back trying to puzzle out "moddercykle".

And Missy is, like, "Moob over. I wanna sit up there."

I looked downna'whole-length of the foo-ton and noticed that I was only occupying Wun Small Part of it. There were no Catz, no pillows, nothing else taking up enny room along the entire thing. It was just Foo-ton, as far as I Could See. 

And I'm like, "So come up and sit. It's not like we're embarassed for space or ennyfing."

And Missy shifts back and forth on her paws and gives me her Whaaaaaa! Look. And I'm like, "Whut, now?"

And she shifts back and forth sum more then sorta bonces on her Big Back Feets and pulls with her liddle tiny Neat Frunt Paws and manages to scramble up onna Foo-ton nextest to me.

But instead of sitting down or ennyfing, she starts Marching Up-and-Down the Foo-ton.

And because it's a nice, springy Foo-ton, I'm sitting over here, Bouncing in time to her Marching.

And I'm like, "Whut are you doing, Missy?"

"Protestin'." She says. And she keeps on Marching back-and-forth.

So I'm like, "Protestin', whut?"

"Buttox" She says.

Now MissyBun is my Beautiful BunWife of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns. Whut I mean is, she is not A Small Rabbit. Our Phil once said she hadda "NIA", which means a "Navy Issue Ass", and that she should wear a Yellow Warning Tape across where her tail was located. Missy gave him the RBB for saying that and Maman gave him a smack 'round the ear for Offending Her Feelings. But I love every ounce of her Seven Pounds.

And believe me when I say I dunno whuttaheck set her off about protesting "buttox"

So I'm, like, sitting there onna Foo-ton, bouncing while she's marching and Feeling Officially Puzzled.

And then Maman, who isn't in on this hextchange in Lagomorphin between Missy and me, calls frum her Study in to Dadda in his Office, "Brian..."

And because he can't hear her alla'way downna'hall and through walls frum there, he hasta stop Whut He's Doing and come See Whut She Wants.

We guys live to be Puzzled By Our Wimmin, lemme tell you.

So Dadda comes frum his Office innu Maman's Study and axts her "Whut?"

And Maman reads him a headline frumma New York Times Noospaper Buk Review: "Nice Résumé. Have You Considered Botox"

And it turns out to be the review of sum book called How Not To Look Old that seems to be about the hoomin preoccupation with a Fear Of Aging. Which Maman calls the Female Whine Syndrome. ("Those poor females who who suffer from tragic ill-breeding, intellectual-dwarfism and a horrible addiction to whine.")

And alla suddin Missy yells at me, "See? Whut did I tell you? Buttox! There it is! That buk says that Aging is Bad For You and that if you wanna stay young, you gotta have your buttox injected innu your head!"

And I looked at Missy, and I'm like, "Lookit, Bunnies don't Grow Old. We just Grow 'Tellygint."

But Missy says, "You don't unnerstand! This buk tells wimmins to hab their buttox injected innu their heads! This is horribul! Do you know how menny times I've heard Maman tell sumbun to 'Get their head outta their butt'? Well, now wimmin are bein' told to put their butts in their heads! It's Bad Advice!"

And I'm like, "Lookit, I dont fink..." But Missy just keeps on going:

"And now, now, onna'count ob this buk there's gonna be millions of wimmins who are being told to be 'Fraid ob Sumfing that is Totally Natchur'al! Of sumfing that they can't help but keep doin'! And NOW, there's gonna be wimmins runnin' around Noo Yawk and all ober who are gonna read this buk and go hab their buttox injected innu their heads!" She yelled.

"And all because NOBUNNY can stop ENNYBUNNY frum habbin' birfdays! And tell me, George, tell me why sumbun would wanna stop sum udder bunny frum habbin' birfdays, ennyways? That's Totally Selfish! Why take away sumbunny's Birfday Pawty? Why take away their presents? It's Mean, that's Whut It is! Getting Older is just Sumfing That Happins! And you shuld be allowed to Sellybrate it! Because it issa FAKT-OB-LIFE! Nobunny can stop it!"

And she took off again, marching up-and-downna'Foo-ton, and glaring.

"And Whut's Worse, is heer is This Buk, telling wimmin that they *have to* try to do the Impossible - stop Time Frum Passing - by doing the Stoopit - which is injecting their buttox innu their heads. And *then* you know Whut's Gonna Happin, don't you?" She stopped in frunt of me, and demanded, "Don't you, George?"

And I'm sitting there on my end of the Foo-ton, trying to guess and coming up empty, and Missy answers for me:

"Wimmins who have injected their buttox innu their heads will be talking out their butts!"

And I'm, like, "Whoa."

And Missy says, "Yeah. As if fings aren't bad enuf alreddy! If alla wimmins in Noo Yawk read this buk and start beleeving they *have to* try and spend alla their time trying to do sumfing Impossible, like Staying Forebber Young, they won't be spending time on Fings That Matter, like Prosecuting Animal Abusers! Wimmins who get convinced that they have to inject their buttox innu their heads won't be doing Impawtant Stuff, like getting onna Tellyvision and showing Animal Abusers Everywheres that if they are cruel to a critter, they are going to spend time jail..." Said Missy.

"Because you know whut wimmins Will Be Doing?" She lowered her head and narrowed her eyes. "Instead ob doing Impawtant Fings That Matter, they will lock themselves in gyms, and run NoWheres on treadmills, and talk through their buttox about how much munny they spend inna top shops where they buy their  smart-clothes to hang on their designer bodies! ."

And she *THUMPED*.

"*That's what wimmins will be doing if they buy this buk." Said Missy as I bounced up off the Foo-ton and came down again.

"They will cease to Grow 'Tellygint. And then they *rilly* will become Everyfing They Fear - old, stunted, ugly, narrow and turned-in-on-themselves because they'll be all tied up and stitched up and unable to grow in enny way at all, 'cept circular, wif their heads up their buttox.

"And," She said, hopping over to sit nextest to me. "I'll still be me, Growing 'Tellygint, instead."

And she stuck her head unner my nose. "Wanna groom my eyebrows?"

So I did.

Onna'count obba fakt I am *rilly* glad to be heer in Our Warren to 'Grow Telligent with my Beautiful BunWife ob Gen'rus Pro'porshuns.

------------------------------ By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:34 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

You know, I dunno who is fooling whom.

Maman and I read Alla This Stuff inna Noospapers about This Going Wrong and That Going Wrong in almost everyplace All Over, and then I go and Talk Things Over with MissyBun, my Beautiful BunWife of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, and with Mr Mouse, and sumtimes with Dusty and Foxie, even though they are Youngbuns. And sumtimes even Da Dawg or Wunna the Catz will offer sum of their Commints and 'pinions (if they happin to have Enny) and usually we all come to The Same Conclusion:

There would be a Lot Less Trubble inna Whole Wide Werld if everybun would recognise the Power of Mawmies .

Yeah.

Just Fink Abouddit for a minit.

Now we are HouzRabbits, which is Domestic Rabbits, but we are related to Wild Cottontails and have certain fings in common. If left to ourselves, Boy-bunnies make scrapes; Gurl-bunnies dig burrows. Boy-bunnies patrol the boudaries obba territory; Gurl-bunnies make nests. Boy-bunnies defend the area; Gurl-bunnies defend the Burrows.

So who do you wanna meet - a boy-bunny who can run around at high speeds or a gurl-bunny that's all teeth and claws plugging up a narrow tunnel with kits at her back?

Yeah.

Gurl-bunnies, even Domestic gurl-bunnies are just as determined as Mawmies everywheres.

I was telling Dusty Da Lore yestidday, and he said to me, "Tell me more about Belinda Bunny. Whut was she like? I wanna'nudder Belinda story!"

And I said, "Lookit, kiddo, you wouldn't have lasted five minutes with Belinda Bunny - although she *might* have felt sorry for you onna'count obba Fakt that you are small and stoopit, in which case you might have lasted four minutes. But even Hawthorn, who was her bondmate, had Trubble with her and he hadda Genetic Defect, which gave him an advantage over enny reg'lar bunny, but just barely."

"Howcome?" axted Dusty.

"Because Belinda was a Natural Nurse Bunny." I replied. "Inna Large Warren, each bunny tends to take on a speciality, and back then, Our Warren was preddy large. There were ten bunnies living there and that was enuf bunnies that they could start having specialties. Like me,Hunny stayed awake all night and was the AlarmBunny. CloverBun had a preoccupation with 'neat' and was allus picking up stray bits of hay, so she was the House-keeping Bunny. And Belinda was always looking after the weakest, most vulnerable bunnies inna Warren, so she was the Natural Nurse Bunny. And she took in Hawthorn onna'count obba Fakt that he hadda Natural Disability."

"Like whut?" axted Dusty.

"Hawthorn was a Holland Lop bunny." I said.

"I'm part Holland Lop." said Dusty.

"Not a big enuf part." I replied. "Hawthorn wassa Bloo-eyed, White Holland Lop bunny, which means that he was born Deaf, as so menny bloo-eyed, white bunnies are. He couldn't hear a thing, but like lotsa bunnies who have a Disability, he was able to hide it. Hawthorn could unnerstand vibrations coming through the floor, so that Maman didn't know at furst that he was Deaf. So afta she had him "fixed" like ebberybunny else around here - even though nobunny's broken! - she innerduced him to Belinda Bunny.

"And Belinda didn't mind at all that Hawthorn couldn't hear and Hawthorn liked her. And Belinda let him use her as a pillow when he took a nap, so everyfing was good - even if Hawthorn was so short that he hadda sleep inna pootie-box in order to be taller than Belinda and look her inna eye. And since the ownliest way he could get through to Belinda, onna'count obba Fakt he was deaf, was to look her inna eye, he began occupying the pootie box onna Reg'lar Basis.

"Which was kinda inconveenient for Belinda because every time she hadda use the pootie-box, Hawthorn was taking up most obbit."

"So whut did Belinda Bunny do when Hawthorn was taking up the pootie-box and she hadda go?" axted Dusty.

"Well," I said, "She would either order him out, if he happined to be looking her way and could see her giving him orders. Or, if he had his back to her, which was normal, she would climb in and shoulder him aside, onna'count obba Fakt she was a Big Inkwish Spot bunny and he wassa Liddle Holland Lop. But sumtimes, he didn't move out of her way."

"And then whut happined?" axted Dusty.

"Well," I said, "Maman said that Belinda and Hawthorn hadda very long, big Habbytat that Dadda built 'specially for them inna Living Room - it was six feets long! (Click here to see it!) And Wun Day, she and Dadda were inna'nudder room, when she happined to look up frum whut she was doing and saw Hawthorn sailing past inna Habbytat. She said his ears was sorta pinned back inna breeze, and he looked like he was on wheels - just sailing along like a schooner inna breeze! And when Hawthorn got to the end obba Habbytat, he sorta jerked to a stop, and then suddinly started sailing back the 'udder way! And Maman said she was 'stonished! So she called Dadda to come see Hawthorn. And Dadda came frum wherever he was and looked and he watched Hawthorn sailing along, like he was gliding on air, with his ears pinned back inna breeze, until he went *thunk* atta udder end obba Habbytat.

"And Dadda looked at Maman and was like, 'Whuttaheck?' and went to look innu Hawthorn and Belinda's habbytat. And then he called Maman over to have a look, too.

"And there was Belinda Bunny with her little anvil-shaped head up against the side of the pootie-box, and she was shoving it for all she was worth - and there was liddle Hawthorn inside the pootie-box, going for a ride - up one way in the Habbytat until he reached the end and the pootie-pan *thunked* innu the wall. And then Belinda Bunny quick hurried up around the pootie-box, got her littled anvil-shaped head against the back of the pootie-box and began shoving it back the udder way again - with Hawthorn still inside! Alla way down the Habbytat until he *thunked* uppa'gainst the wall onna udder end!

"And like Dadda said, the Habbytat was long enuf that Belinda was getting up a pretty good turn-of-spped onna straight-away, so that the last time the pootie-box - with Hawthorn innit - *thunked* uppa'gainst the Habbytat wall, it hit preddy hard and Hawthorn tumbled out. And as he picked his liddle self up offa'the floor, Belinda hopped innu the pootie-box, turned around a coupla'times and settled down to stay."

"Wow." Said Dusty. "Whutta woman!"

"Yeah. The Power of Does. And sum Does are Mawmies You gotta respeck the Power of Mawmies. Even The Navy respecks the Power of Mawmies."

And there wassa liddle silence from the udder side of the Partition Dadda put up between Dusty and me, so I knew that Dusty was thinking this over, since he is Not Quite Bright.

So I decided I bedda hextplain. "You know how Our Phil is trained in alla that Hand-to-Hand Shaolin Martial Arts stuff and alla that Tree Sniper stuff?"

And Dusty said, "Yes..." sort of doubtful-like.

And I said, "Well, when he was inna Boot Camp, The Navy made him write home to his Mawmie every week for Eight Whole Weeks! Yeah! Maman has Saved Every Wun of Phil's ledders Uppystairs in his baby book! Every Single Wun! And that's Whut the Navy Does, they make everybun write home to their Mawmies Every Week for Eight Whole Weeks, because the Navy unnerstands the Power of Mawmies. They don't care how big ennybun becomes, or how strong ennybun gets, or how tough they fink they are, The Navy knows that there is Sumfing that is Bigger, Stronger and Tougher standing behind The Navy Than Can Beat Their Butts - and that's Mawmies. The Navy Respecks Mawmies!"

And there wassa Awed Silence frum over the Partition. So I thought I would add to it.

"And so does The Army." I said. "Onna'count obba Fakt that they have The Herd in Kin-Tuck-Eee's Auntie Grace assa Prime Hextample obba Mawmie Right Innit. The Army makes soldiers write to their Mawmies in their Boot Camp, too. They aren't Stoopit, either. Alla soldiers write home to their Mawmies, because you can just imagine Whut Would Happin if they didn't!"

And Dusty said, "Wow. You know, I seed Our Phil run away frum Maman whin she piked uppa wooden cookin' spoon and shaked it at him. And I heard MissyBun take a Whole Curley Parsley right outta your mouf!"

And, well, *that* was humillyating, but it was also Troo. Missy is allus sticking her nose in my face, demanding to know Whut I've Got. Even if I've Alreddy Swallowed It.

I wunder: if Wun Small Bunny blushes behind a Partition, does it make a sound?

Ennyways, I said, "Well, you know Whut I Fink? I fink that probably three-quarters of alla problems Maman and I read about inna Noospapers about murders and beatings and drugs and gangs could be stopped if alla Mawmies Inna Werld got Togedder and Said 'Enuf Is Enuf!'."

And Dusty said, "You fink?"

And I said, "Yeah. Because even Wun Mawmie is more Powerful than the Biggest Gang on Earth. You take a Gang Of Mawmies and nobun could stop them! Better still, fink of a Gang of Grandmawmies! Liddle old ladies in hats, with walking sticks!  Now *that* would be skerry! Can you imagine the sheer, raw power of Liddle Old Ladies Armed With Walking Sicks? Nothing inna Whole Wide Werld could stop them if they came marching downnastreet. Heh - they write aboudda group called 'Men United' in Philadelphia, and I'm preddy positive that those are a good group of men, but I'm telling you, each Wun Of Them hassa Mawmie behind him, and that Mawmie is driving each man forward! If even The Army anna Navy that hab the Mostest Members than the biggest gang, and The Army anna Navy have alla guns and grenades and rocket-launches and air-craft-carriers and Stealth Bombers there can be, and THEY Respeck the Power of Mawmies and make alla their soldiers and sailors write home to their Mawmies every single week during Boot Camp, then ennybun who doesn't Respeck The Power of Mawmies has to be A Complete Idiot!"

And there was more Silence frum Dusty's side of the Partition.

Then Dusty said at last, "So the answer to alla problems is Mawmies." 

And I said, "Yeah."

"Wun, Hetperienced Mawmie to walk up to these bad peoples onna street and say, 'Hey you! Cut that out!' That's all it takes. Because lemme tell you, Mawmies talk wif each udder. They all know each udder. There issa Whole Mawmie Netwerk out there that no boy-bun knows ennyfing about, 'cept that it hextsists. Do you know Whut I heard?" I axted Dusty.

"I heard Maman tell aboud when she lived in Inkland, there wassa Nice Young Man who was onna fing called The Rugby Team who got in Trubble onna'count obba Fakt he was acting Temporar'ly Stoopit one night. And his Mawmie heard abouddit onna'count obba Fakt that there wassa Whole Mawmie Netwerk there inna Village! And when he got home that night, his Mawmie wouldn't let him inna Houz, until he went around and 'pologised to everybun, and took his Mawmie flowers! All onna'count obba Fakt that his Mawmie heard frumma'nudder Mawmie who heard frumma'nudder Mawmie!"

And Dusty said, "Wow." again.

And I said, "That's all it takes onna Mawmie Netwerk once they get it up and going: Wun Mawmie talks to a'Nudder Mawmie and that Mawmie talks to a'Nudder Mawmie, and preddy soon, it gets back to the person's Mawmie, just like inna Warren, and then suddinly, there you are, and there's your Mawmie, and no matter how tall you are, she's still standing over you and saying, 'Hey, you! Whut hab you been doing?' And it doesn't madder if you did it or not, or even if you alreddy swallowed that Curley Parsley, she's a Mawmie, and you're suddinly three inches tall and you know  you're gonna get it."

"Get whut?" axted Dusty.

"Doesn't matter." I replied. "You don't ebben gotta know whut 'it' is. All that matters is that 'it's' on 'it's' way, and that you're gonna get 'it' onna'count obba Fakt your Mawmie is gonna deliver it.

"Because it is hard-wired innu our brains sumwheres very early on, no madder whut species we happin to be, that if Mawmies are dishing it out and it isn't dinner, we don't want enny!"

------------------------------ By George!

Posted by Our Warren at 11:02 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Hoo boy!

Maman and Dadda have to Reggy-ster Da Car. I dunno why this is such a Big Deal for them, but it seems like ennyfing that has to do with filling out forms, or running around, or stuff, causes a lotta Extry Trubble and Panick around here.

So, like Missy said, for a HouzBunny, my best Course of Action is to find Some Place Where They Are Not and Get On With Whut We Do - which right now, is Typing Tiday's Entry Inna Hay Diaries.

Now Dusty and Foxie are Noo Bunnies to Our Warren. They do not Know The Lore as it was told to me by me,Hunny, Senior Bun of Our Warren. As Top Bun it is part of Whut I Do to tell The Lore to them. As me,Hunny said to me when I wassa Youngbun, a big part of Preparing Forda Future is Knowing The Past. You don't know Where You're Going if you Don't Know Where You've Been. The Lore of a Warren is allus kept and passed on frum Wun Bunny toda Udders, so nobun will make the same mistakes as bifore, and the Whole Warren prospers. 

Ennyways...

meHunny was part obba Original Our Warren. He lived to be Thirteen-Anna-Half Years Old! This is Very Old for a HouzBunny. Over this time, he learned a Lotta Lore.

Which he passed on to me, George.

So Lastest Night - afta Salad Time and Maman had turned offa BunLight and called out, "'Night Bunnies!" and she and Dadda trundled off to the Bedroom with Da Dawg to Go To Bed - when Dusty poked his nose up outta his Romaine Cup and  axted me, "Why do Da Catz hab their own 'partmint Uppystairs, George, and we only gotta BunRoom down heer?", I was reddy wiffa answer.

"Ennyways...

"They had Almost No Money and me,Hunny said Lots of Bad Things happened to Alla Them Togedder, and they had Lotsa 'Ventures - which inklooded Phil 'dopting KayCee Kitty frumma Shelter (and she lives with him still!).

"And Then Wun Day, when Fings were just about At Their Worstest, a bunch of roses arrived frum Dadda, anna note, that said, 'Enuf Is Enuf'. So Maman and Phil took a Ride-Inna-Car alla way toda Airport at Noo Yawk onna'count obba fakt Dadda arrived Frum Inkland To Marry Maman.

"So me,Hunny and Maggie hadda ride in their Baskets to Saint Luke's Church and be part the Wedding Service with the Rev'rind Doctor Ginny Sheay, onna'count obba Fakt that Bunnies Bond for Life, and Maman and Dadda wanted to demonstrate to everybun how faithful a commitmint they shared by having Maggie and Hunny take part in their wedding. So Hunny and Maggie said, "Hokay", they would go Saint Luke's Church, but they weren't having enny offa "Reception" stuff atta Yardley Country Club aftawards.

"And Maman and Dadda still laugh aboud Maman's Mawmie gasping atta beginning of the wedding service, "Bill! That's not what I think it is!" when she saw Maggie riding down the aisle.of Saint Luke's Church in her beribboned basket, and hearing Maman's Dadda (who was Our Bim) tell her, "Shaddup, Muriel!". It is part of Their Lore.

"The part of Our Lore is How me,Hunny and Maggie Became WeddingBunnies and witnessed Maman and Dadda get married in Saint Luke's Church.

"So, Dadda moved innu the Old Houz with Maman, and they slept inna Bedroom that was Uppystairs, Nextest Door to the BunRoom, which was where Alla Bunnies Lived in that Houz.

"So wun day, Sistah Beffy - who is Maman's Daughter - came by and brought Cokie-the-Fat-Cat with her. And Cokie wandered around with Big Eyes, looking at Ebberyfing. And when it was Time To Go, Sistah Beffy said, "Well, actually, I'm going and he's staying here. I can't afford to feed him, Mom!"

"And Maman said, 'Well, I can't let the poor kitty go homeless. We will find a way to feed Cokie.'

"So Cokie stayed. As he says, Dadda issa Good Cat-Person, and Very Kind inspite obba Fakt he says he is 'Miserable Old Bugger'. And there is Food. Lotsa Food.

"So Maman and Dadda were not paying particuar'ly close 'tention to the Catz, and let them go where they pleased, hexcept innu the BunRoom. There wassa Gate Onna BunRoom Door.

"So KayCee Kitty, who belonged to Phil, slept in Phil's Room with him. And Cokie decided that he would move innu the Bedroom with Maman and Dadda at night, and sleep on their bed.

"But Cokie is a BIG cat. And Dadda is not a small man. So there was not much room left over in Maman's bed when it came to sleeping places at night.

"So Wun Night, Cokie came wandering innu Maman and Dadda's room, and thought that he would jump up on to the comfy brass bed where Maman and Dadda happined to be sleeping. He said he thought he saw a nice spot onna matress that Dadda wasn't currently occupying.

"So Cokie scouted out the Nice Spot, then figgered outta distance frumma Floor to the Nice Spot, put out his paws and jumped.

"But he didn't quite make it.

"He had the top part of him onna bed all right, but the back half of him was still hanging off. So Cokie put out his claws and caught on to whatebber, and started to pull his butt up. When alla suddin, whutebber started screaming and jumping around - which skert the pooties outta da Cokie-Cat!

"Well, whutebber turned out to be Dadda, who had been lying on his tummy, fast asleep.

"And Cokie had hooked his claws in right behind Dadda's shoulder blade.

"So Cokie's holding on for Grim Death with his frunt claws, with his back-end off the floor and his butt swinging, and Dadda's nailed to the bed, with claws implanted deeply into the muscle tissue of his back.

"And Dadda is screaming, and Cokie's screaming. And Maman wakes up and she starts screaming, because it's dark and she doesn't know Whut's Going On.

"So over inna BunRoom, Belinda Bunny started *thumping*, and me,Hunny, who was the AlarmBunny, started *THUMPING* and everybunny panicked...

"And then Phil came running outta his room at Top Speeds, just as Dadda finally got a grip onna back of Cokie's neck, and hurled him Right Through the Air like a Furry Football - Screaming Alla Way - innu Phil.

"So a lotta lights were turned on, and Maman ran to the bafroom for gauze, and Band-Aids and stuff, and Dadda was cursing in Fluent Anglo-Saxon. And then afta Maman got them all patched up, they went looking for Cokie who was hiding unner'neaf ob sumfing alla way Downnastairs, 'fraid to come out, and Dadda said how he was sorry but Cokie *rilly* hadda learn to Stay Onna Floor!

"And to This Day, Dadda has scars on his back frum The Cokie Claws.

"And now, when it is Night, All Catz, inklooding Cokie, MUST go Uppystairs to sleep in their Own 'partmint where they each have a whole Foo-ton to themselves in their Own Rooms with their Own Litter Boxes, so that they don't have to sleep with each udder, if they don't want to. But they can never, Ever, NEVER sleep inna Bedroom bed with Dadda ever again! ('cept for one time, and that is a Whole 'Nudder Story!).

"And that is The Lore, as it was told to me, George, by me,Hunny, Senior Bun of Our Warren." I said to Dusty.

And there was Silence frum the Udder Side of the Partition between Dusty's Habbytat anna Habbytat that I share with Missy, my Beautiful BunWife ob Gen'rus Pro'porshuns. And I knew that this Silence was onna'count obba Fakt that Dusty is a Youngbun, besides being a miniLop, so he's Not Overly Bright. The Lore is Not Easy for Youngbuns to grasp, sumtimes.

And finally, frumma Udder Side of the Partition, I heard Dusty say, "Wow. Talk about exile..."

And I heard him snuggle down in his hay-pile and go to sleep.

-------------------------------------- By George.

 .

Posted by Our Warren at 2:27 PM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

There is sumfing about Eight o'clock Inna Morning around here at Our Warren.

Dunno whut.

But the Standing Clock inna Living Room chimes Eight times inna Morning and Maman goes Downnastairs frum her Study with her empty coffee cup. Just how she manages to run outta that Sekond Cuppa Coffee just at Eight o'clock Inna Morning beats me! 

But she does.

And she goes Downnastairs and Missy-and-me go back innu Our Habbytat and That's The End Obbit.

And right afta that, Maman Declares that it's Treat Time, so it's not Too Bad, but Furst, we gotta waid-a-minit while she fills her empty Cup back up with coffee frumm coffee-maker nextest to the stove.

And she sets her Cup of Coffee onna counter. (This is important.)

So then, just a liddle afta Eight o'clock she Opins the Salad Bank, takes out the bag of Baby Organic Carrots and comes innu the BunRoom. And she allus says the same things to Each Of Us:

To Missy and Me: Allright! Allright! Missy! George! Miss - Geo - Miss- Will You Two stop stepping on each other? Hold on! Watch! See? Two! Two carrots for each of you! No, Missy, you can't sit on three of them and eat the fourth! George! Don't take that out of Missy's mouth! Settle down, BOTH of you!

To Mr Mouse: And wun for Mr Mouse anna'nudder wun for Mr Mouse. He's mawmie's Good bunny isn't Mr Mouse-ums? Mawmie's liddle piggie-boy, grunting alla way! (How Mouse gets away wif alla grunting is beyond me!)

To Dusty: In your bowl, Dusty! Look in your food bowl! See the carrot? It's in your crock, Dustmeister. Ohforgoodness'sake, Duster, your crock! Look in your food bowl! Look - In - Your....DustBucket! - LOOK IN YOUR FOOD BOWL, YOU SILLY RABBIT! There ya go. Goodgrief.

To Foxie: Here you go, Little Foxie-Princess-Chick. No, look! It's over there. Here, see? Right there. Look! Here! Ohtohellwithit, you'll find it.

Then she closes uppa bag of Baby Organic Carrots and deposits them back innu the Salad Bank. And she migrates innu the Kitchin, turns onna sink, and puts wadder innu Dadda's Kettle and pops the button onna top.

Then she's off Downna'Hallway towards the bafroom and there's the sounds of more wadder 'plashing around and doors opining and closing. Then we hear her snap her fingers and here she comes back innu the BunRoom, again, with her arms full of laundry anna Dawg jogging along around her feets.

And she's yelling atta Da Dawg inna loud whisper, "Will you please get out frum unner my feet? Marc, over here. Here. Over, dammitDawg, here! MOVE IT! I can't get the door opin with you inna'way! *sheesh* There. Good Dawg! Markie-Dawg!"

Anna Stoopit Dawg stands there, and grins and bangs his tail innu Our Habbytat.

And then Maman says, "Markie-Dawg wanna go outside? Go On Patrol?" while she's unlocking the Back Door. Then she fools around with the door-knob for awhile, trying to get a grip onnit, and inna meantime, Da Dawg is dancing around and trying to cross his paws atta same time onna'count obba Fakt that he hasta *go*.

And Maman's habbin' Trubbles wiffa door, onna'count ob her Arthuritis and stuff, anna Dawg's dancing is reaching that Critical Stage where it's gone from "happyfeets" to "lemmeouttaheer". But finally, she gets the Back Door opin, and then she manages to get the Outside Door opin. So a blast of Rilly Cold Air comes in, and Maman says toda Dawg,

"There we go! Go count your Squirrels!"

Anna Dawg takes off like sum kinda rocket, barking his fool head off, shouting at the squirrels that's he's on his way. Of course, by the time he gets to the tree where the Squirrels usta hang out, (until Dadda hadda udder trees near it cut down so the Squirrels don't hang out there ennymore), whatever Squirrels might have been there are alreddy gone. But Da Dawg hasta look up the tree ennyways and bark back to Maman that there aren't enny Squirrels outside inna Gardin, for him to Count onna'count obba Fakt that he's looked.

Counting Squirrels is Da Dawg's Furst Job Obba Day. And his Sekond Job is to Go On Patrol. Which is Whut He Does. Border Collies have to be given Jobs or else they invent them, Maman says.

So, by this time, Dadda's Kettle is out inna Kitchen doing whut Maman calls "Singing" but which is actually Rumbling like a small earfquake by enny udder name. And the Standing Clock inna Living Room is chiming the quarter-hour.

And then Maman traipses outta the BunRoom, saying to us as she passes by, "Isn't that nice? All bunnies eating!"

And Missy is like, "You gave us carrots. Whuttaya'hextpect?" between chomps.

By which time Beep-da-Udder-Cat has shown up Downnastairs and is inna Kitchin, standing there looking at Maman with that deeply puzzled face Catz get.

And Maman allus says the same fing to her, too: "Your Dawg is outside, Missus. Go talk to your Father."

And Dadda has preddy much pretended that he can stay asleep through alla this, but he rilly can't. Maman says that she creeps around'da Houz as Quiet Assa Mouse, but that's whut Dadda calls a Load Of Bolloxes (Inkwish for, "not troo"). Maman and Dadda seem to have this Theory that since they are Awake, EveryBun else inna Whole Houz has bedda be Awake, too, and if not, they'll make sure that they are.

But not until Eight o'clock Inna Morning.

Onna'count obba' Fakt that Maman and usually Dadda, too, wake up while it is still Dark most obba time, and they will get their ownliest coffee and tea, and then tippy-toe Uppystairs wiffout saying One Werd, turn on their 'puters and Go To Werk In Total Silence! Anna Dawg will go with them and not go On Patrol, anna Cats will stay asleep, and I sit onna foo-ton and Missy hextplores the Study and nobun makes a sound.

Until Eight o'clock Inna Morning.

So ennyways...

Afta Maman tells Beep to go talk to Dadda, she goes out innu the Living Room to Pull the Drapes and even we can see the Load of Sunshine that comes flooding in when that's done.

And usually, right afta that is when she meets up Dadda inna Hallway, and she allus says the same fing:

"Oh, you're up!"

Like there's sum big surprise there.

And just then, the button on Dadda's Kettle inna Kitchen "pops" and the wadder for his tea is ready. (Ob course, if he is still inna Bedroom when the Kettle "pops", Maman will make tea and take his Cuppa to him In Bed, but usually, he tries to get to her bifore she gets to the part where she is careening gently offa walls Downna'Hallway while trying to balance a cuppa boiling wadder with milk and sugar innit.)

And Maman loads up Dadda's Big Cup with two tea-bags frumma jar, pours in sugar frumma basin (Funny fing is, she is allus yelling at Phil that he must "use a spoon!" when ebben she pours frumma basin. Dunno whut's up with that.), and then she pours inna wadder frumma Kettle.

And Dadda comes out innu the BunRoom, opins the Back Door, and lets in more cold air. And he snaps his fingers and heer comes Da Dawg.

Along with anudder Blast of Cold Air.

So ob course, Missy is glaring at him.

And Dadda looks at Missy as he is closing the door and he says, "Whut are You Buggers looking at?"

And since I'm usually not even involved in this, I'm like, "Whut?"

While Missy, who is glaring at him onna'count obba Fakt she's usually in the line for the blast of cold air, yells back, "I'm lookin' at you, Stoopit!"

And Dadda says to her, "Well, see here Bug-a-Lugs, if your butt wasn't always on the pootie-pan, it wouldn't get Cold Air up it, now, would it?"

And Missy's like, "I'm warning you, Buster."

And Maman allus says to Dadda, "Brian, she doesn't like being called 'Bug-a-Lugs'. One of these days, she's going to pee on you."

And Dadda alluss laughs, "She can try!"

And Missy allus sits and glares and says to me, "Wunna these days!"

And she's been practicing, too, by using Da Dawg assa target as he goes outta Back Door. So far, she just manages to hit the wall, but she's going for distance, lemme tell you!

And then we can hear Cokie-the-Fat-Cat *ker-fump-ker-fump-ker-fumping* Downnastairs and *tunk-tunk-tunk-ing* innu the Dining Room. And he stops and he sits and he *sighs*, but since there is usually no additional food forthcoming, he gets up, flicks his tail and shambles off Dowwna'Hall towards the Sitting Room. There issa Big Red Chair inna corner obba Sitting Room that he's claimed for his Morning-Innu-the-Middle-Obba-AftaNoon Nap, and he wants to get innu it bifore Maman comes up wif enny bright ideas like he hasta Go Toda Spa or ennyfing.

So by now, the Standing Clock inna Living Room is chiming Eight-Anna-Half o'clock Inna Morning, and that's usually when Maman has done Alla These Things, caused Alla This Disruption and Waked The Entire Houz.

And by now, she is ready to back Uppystairs and Resume Werk. And Now is when she goes for her Cup Of Coffee that she poured outta the coffe-maker and left onna counter. (I told you this was important!)

And, so, the Cup of Coffee has gone cold.

So she mutters, "Bugger!", picks uppa Cup of Coffee, slams it innu the microwave-box, pushes sum buttons and stands there, watching, while the light comes on and the Cup of Coffee turns around and around inside obba microwave-box.

And while she's standing there, watching her Cup of Coffee turn around inside the microwave-box, Dadda is alreddy on his way Uppystairs, and he's gotta parade obba Cat anna Dawg trailing afta him. So he stops onna stairs and calls down to Maman,

"What's wrong, Sweetheart?"

And Maman says, "Wouldn't you know it? I come down here to pour Wun Cup of Coffee at Eight o'clock Inna Morning and *two sekonds later* it's alreddy gone cold! Have I ever told you I HATE microwaved coffee?"

And Dadda replies, "Every morning, my love, right about...oh..."

And the Standing Clock inna Living Room clicks and wheezes, and begins to chime three-quarters-obba-hour...

"...now."

---------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:05 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

So Maman was like, “Well, either we didn’t pay our bill or Verizon is down for maint’nance.”

And I looked up at her and axted, “Whut’s ‘maint’nance’?” onna’count obba Fakt I had no kloo why we couldn’t read the Noospapers like we usually do. Bunnies do not like their routines disturbed.

And Maman said “maint’nance” is when Verizon sends the Can-You-Hear-Me-Now?-Guy around its buildings to check on alla wires. She says they do it early inna morning onna holidays when their surveys show nobun is gonna be awake and using their servers. ‘Cept for us.

And because we’re never on ennybunny’s survey, that’s how come we were out there, dangling in the wind onna whip-end obba InnerNet while Verizon checked their wires.

Hey guys! Can you hear Wun Small Bunny now?

*geez*

So yestidday, Maman and Dadda changed out the pootie pans and Dadda told Maman that “Tomorrow” (that being  Tiday) “Without Fail” he was gonna Get Out Inna Gardin.

So Maman, who is entirely a CittyKid, said, “Um, lookit, dear. It’s January. In case you didn’t notice, this is Deepest Winter.”

And Dadda said that, Yeah, he knew that.

And Maman went to join him, looking outta the Back Door, and she said, “You do realise the ground is frozen rock-hard out there.”

And Dadda said that Every Farmer Prepares Forda First Ploughing Bifore February.

And Maman rolled her eyes.

Now Maman has told me about this “Every Farmer” talk before, when it is just her, me and Missy all taking togedder and there are No Udder hoomins.

And Maman says that the “Every Farmer” kind of talk is sumfing she usta hear inna Lower Buck in Waddington in Lancashire in England where she usta  Live Bifore There Was Our Warren.

She said that, in Waddington there was no television and no Noospaper, because the Village was that tiny. So she usta go toda Lower Buck that was DownnaLane Frum Her Cottage and she would sit inna “ snug” by the fire and hire a “medium white” to sit on her table so she could listen while the Lancashire farmers sat around and talked. And, she said that if you got Enuf of the “Owd Boys"  all seated around the liddle tables inna Snug, preddy soon Wun of Them would say,

“Every Farmer” and then add his personal idea of Proper Farming Technique -  which topic was not important (favourites in  Lancashire involved Sheep, Cows; udder topics were popular in udder parts ob Inkland)! - but as soon as Wun Owd Boy said, “Every Farmer”, there was sure to be AnUdder Owd Boy who would turn to him and say, 

“No Farmer I ever knowed.” – or werds to that effect.

And then, as Maman said, They Were Off!

And The Argument was Nebber Dif’frunt, because as soon as Wun Farmer said that "Every Farmer” did thus-and-so, there would be Sum Udder Farmer to claim that No Farmer” would ever do thus-and-so. And then there would be a Third Farmer who would jump up and say that he had done Whutebber for “Thurty-yeers-man-and-boy-aye! ” as had his Fadder before him, and his Gran’Fadder bifore him, unto the Third and Forf Genny’rayshun.

And preddy soonest, the Whole Lower Buck was inna’Uproar, wif Farmers pounding onna liddle tables and shouting about their Ancestors.

Maman said the “Every Farmer” Argument Never Failed. And that it was Endlessly Ennertaining. Onna’count obba Fakt that “   Every Farmer” In England Knows Whut Is Best, and No Udder Farmer Knows Pooties.

And Maman says that she Cherishes this Remnant of the Owd West-country  "Every Farmer" that keeps popping out frum inside of Dadda enny time he contemplates a patch of dirt.

So there he was Yestidday AftaNoon, standing by the Back Door, looking out upon the Back Gardin and telling her about “Every Farmer  ”.

And Maman said to him, “Mebbe ‘every farmer’ in Somerset and Devonshire has his plough in by February, darling, but we're in Noo Joisey. Tomorrow is supposed to be the coldest day of the year so far - minus eight degrees on the Celsius thermometer.”

And Dadda looked over and axted her, “Are you sure about the conversion?”

And Maman smiled and said, “No. I’m numerically challenged, remember? Concepts, yes; Operations, no.”

And Dadda nodded. “So the ground might not be frozen (Dadda pronounces it “Frah-zin” and Maman says “Froh-sen”, just so you can sorta imagine the dif’frunce.). It probably won’t be. We’re further south here than in we’d be in England.” And then he added, “The Romans grew grapes in Kent.” Like that bit of information was going to help something.

“And the Vikings grew grapes in Labrador.” Maman countered. “But you’re not going to get grapes here.”

And Dadda said, “I’m not growing grapes. I’m going to dig up that bit next to Hunny’s Herb Gardin and spread pooties frum the Compost Pile over it.”

“Sheila grew grapes in Lancashire.” Offered Maman.

“But she had them Under Glass.” Dadda observed. “No Farmer would have tried to grow grapes in Lancashire.”

“Well,” Maman said, “The Vikings found grapes in Labrador, and Labrador is part of the same geological landmass as Lancashire.”

And Dadda just looked at her. “Sheila was a gardiner.” He said, like there was something wrong with that. “No Farmer   would grow grapes in Lancashire.”

And Maman took out Mr Broom that she keeps in the corner near to the Washing Machine and began to sweep up the BunRoom, starting unner’neath of Missy-and-Me.

“But we’re not farming.” She said, poking Mr Broom unner’neath of Our Habbytat. “At least we weren’t the last time I looked.”

“But we could farm.” Said Dadda.

“Ya think?” Said Maman in her “Joisey-Gurl” accent that is preddy close to the same inflection MissyBun has, ‘cept Missy issa Noo Yawk Chik.

“All we need are five worms per shovel.” Said Dadda, and he nodded towards the Back Door, as though the worms were lined up and just waiting for him, personally. “And if I get the Compost Heap spread, the worms will come. Hunny’s Rose and Herb Gardin has at least five-worms-per-shovel. Probably more. And Tomorrow I’ll dig up that bit next to the Herb Gardin and spread Compost on that, and there will be worms.”

And Maman dragged Foxie’s Hospiddle Habbytat frum nner’neath of Dusty’s Habbytat and began poking Mr Broom unner there.

“Well,” said Maman. “When you get your worms in, I want to have three more Rose Bushes.”

“Where?”

“In that New Section where you’re inviting in all the worms.” Said Maman. “And I want to expand the Herb Part of Hunny’s Gardin, too. We can maintain the Curley Parsley, the Flat Parsley, the Dill, and of course that big patch of the Williamsburg Heritage Mint…”

“Which has become a weed;” added Dadda. “It’s all over out there.”

“The bunnies will eat it,” Said Maman, still sweeping. “And then I want to plant some Rosemary, and more of Missy’s Tomatoes.”

And Dadda looked at Missy chewing thoughtfully on sum hay.

“Well, tomatoes won’t be hard to do.” He said. “After all the tomatoes she ate last year there must be enough seeds in that midden to stock  a Garden Store.”

He looked at Missy and Missy looked back at him and demanded, “Whut?”

And Maman said, “Well, I packed her as full of tomatoes as I could so there would be seeds in the Compost.”

“And at the rate that Rabbit inhaled tomatoes, we should have nothing but seeds.” Said Dadda. Then he added, just to Missy,  “Bug-a-Lugs.”

And Missy glared at him while she sucked up a strand of hay.

“You tawkin’ to me, Chubbo?” She axted.

And Dadda went over and made a withdrawl frumma Salad Bank, but Missy wouldn’t take the Baby Organic Carrot frum his hand onna’count obba fakt he called her “Bug-a-Lugs ”. Missy says she doesn’t know whut “Bug-a-Lugs” means, but she’s preddy sure it’s not good, so she allus gives Dadda the RBB, no matter whut he’s offering her – unless it’s raisins. ( Missy loves her raisins!)

And Maman was still wailing away industriously atta stray hay onna floor with Mr Broom.

And Dadda said as he closed Our Habbytat,

“Our Warren eats everything. They haven’t turned down a good meal yet. I was thinking carrots in the New Section. We could save a small fortune if we grew carrots.”

And Maman stopped sweeping for a minute to lean on Mr Broom. (She gets a little wobbly when she’s sweeping.)

“Can we grow carrots?” She axted, and she grabbed onto Mr Mouse’s habbytat.

Dadda put down the bag of Baby Organic Carrots on Our Habbytat and reached out to hold on to her shoulder.

“You hokay, dear?” He axted.

Maman nodded, but her eyes were wandering separately.

And just as Missy started to periscope to have a sniff atta bag of Baby Organic Carrots on top of Our Habbytat, Dadda reached back without looking and moved the bag over to the top of the Washing Machine, where she couldn’t get to it.

And Missy glared at Dadda and sniffed, “Sulk! I’m gonna sulk!”

“Sucks to be you.” Said Dadda over his shoulder to her.

Then he looked down on Maman and axted her, “You all right now?”

And Maman said, “Yeah.” Then she looked up at him and axted. “Are we *rilly* gonna grow carrots?”

And Dadda said, “Every Farmer can grow carrots. They’re a staple crop in Somerset and Devonshire. Every Farmer gets his plough in by February, and spreads his first load of shit so it can get in good by March. And then Every Farmer gets his Spring Crops in – his carrots, his peas, his runner-beans…”

“His herbs…” Added Maman.

And Dadda shook his head, “Nay girl, No Farmer does Herbs,” he corrected, lapsing into the West-county dialect.

He put his arm around her shoulders and began steering her out obba BunRoom. “Thy wants Spring Crops. Herbs, now be's wimmin’s werk…”

“But I am a wimmins.” Protested Maman, trailing Mr Broom along behind her.

“Thee are, I ain’t. And Every Farmer knows…”

 ……………………………………….. By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:35 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Hokay, I don't get it. I *rilly* don't get it. Mebbe because I am a HouzRabbit or sumfing, but I still just Don't Get It.

I'm here reading NoosPapers with Maman again, like we do early every morning onna'count obba Fakt that Maman issa NoosJunkie and a WedderWeenie.

She said she issa NoosJunkie because she is "incurably curious" (Phil says that means the same fing as being a "gossip" - but Maman says that if she wassa genuine "gossip" she would be having her hair "done" atta House-of-HairSpray near the Old Houz, or belong a Firehouse or Ladies' Auxilliary or go to the wunna the pharmacies inna neighbourhood to get 'prenticed to wunna a genuine GossipMongrel - onna'count obba Fakt she would have to learn frum the genuine GossipMongrels how to get a much more narrow and detailed Presumed Knowlege of local pulp fiction than she can get frum reading The New York Times!).

And Maman issa Wedder Weenie because Wedder makes her sick. She went to bed Lastest Night with a *Rilly* Bad Migraine, so we had Salad Time early. And onna'count of Going To Bed Early, so she Waked Up *rilly* Earlier this morning so we've been reading the NoosPapers togedder being Quiet while Dadda and Da Dawg Sleeped.

So Maman and I are sitting in her Office Chair, reading the NoosPapers, togedder, and almost ebbery wun we read has sum article innit about Climate Change, or the Glaciers Melting, or Global Warming. And the articles were Very Alarming, like they were telling about The End Obba Werld!

And Wunna the Fings all the articles had in common was that they all say that We Are Not doing Enuf to Prevent Disater from happining to Our Very Own Werld.

And then there were more articles telling about how hoomins need to do More Recycling, More Conservation, and have More Resepct for The Planet.

And then Maman I and I read a Coupla'more articles about how ebberybunny needs to Learn the Science of Living Green, and how Science is gonna Save The Werld.

And I'm finking to myself, "Hold onna'sekond. According to the Lore, as it was told to me by Hunny *Senior Bun* of Our Warren, back Inna Beginning of Our Warren, when there was only Two Bunnies inna Warren - meHunny and Heatherington - which would be in 1996 - the Rev'rind Doctor Ginny Sheay who wassa friend of Our Warren's anna Priest of SaintLuke's said,

"We are stewards, not owners of the planet."

And she went on to give a talk, called a "homily" on that subjekt.

Now Wunna The Furst Points she made during this "homily", Hunny said, was that hoomins nebber were In Charge obba Earth!

Nope! Hoomins don't OWN IT!

They didn't make it, so it doesn't Automatically Belong to Them just because they are Here.

And Wunna the Sekond Points that she made wassat hoomins aren't doing such a Great Job of Taking Care obba Earth!

Which is Perfecktly Troo, when you come to fink obba Fakt that so menny Perfecktly Nice Bunnies are sitting in Shelters, waiting for Forebber Homes, and so menny wild Cottontail Bunnies are losing their homes to greedy hoomin developers and builders and gen'rilly mean people who fink alla Opin Land is just "theirs" because they are hoomin. Let's face it - Hoomins even have a hard time Getting Along with Udder Hoomins, let along Getting Along with Udder Species!

And Wunna the Third Points that the Rev'rind Doctor Ginny Sheay made in her "homily" wassat, as Stewards, wunna these days, hoomins were going to have to account for their stewardship to the Owner Obba Planet.

And it's not gonna be preddy!

And she also pointed out inna "homily" that the Anglican Faith has been talking about Stewardship for a Very Long Time - and that nobunny has been listening!

Yeah!

So, wike, Why is nobunny listening? The Anglican Faith has been around for Five Hunnert Years saying "We are Stewards, not Owners of the Planet." and here is alla this Global Warming and Climate Change and Waste of Resources still going on around Us. It's like ebberybunny is using up ebberyfing inna greedy, selfish way, just like they Own It All! And they don't. We share the Earth Togedder.

So whut gives?

There are an awful lotta Writers and Finkers, like sum guy named Christopher Hitchins and sum Udders, who say that the Anglican Faith has been Wrong for the Whole Five Hunnert Years - and Hoomins are not "Stewards" of ennyfing, because Anglicans believe God owns the Planet and these Writers and Finkers believe There Is No God. And these Writers and Finkers write buks and articles that are Preddy Dismissive ob Udder's Beliefs and Reasoning, and try to Prove Through Logic that Science has Alla Answers to Ebberyfing.

Well, I might be a HouzRabbit, but I also can Fink, and probably as good as these Writers and Finkers. And as I am finking, Science has Answers to Sum Fings, and Anglicans have Answers to Udder Fings.

BOTH fings are Necessary and they Are Not Mutually Hextkloosive. This is onna'count obba Fakt that they Hextplain Dif'frunt Fings. Ennybunny who has read Stuff written during whut Maman calls "The Age of Enlightenment" when Science divided frum Magic will unnerstand this: Religion seeks to 'stablish hoomins' relationship toda Universe; Science issa roadmap to unnerstanding how the Universe Werks.

Two Dif'frunt Fings.

Nobunny got over the sense of Wonder, but ebberybunny preddy much got over the idea of esoteric mysteries. Placing faith in hoomin knowlege of empty "ritual" got replaced by finding nature inna living werld, but belief in the Creator who brought it all into being was never in question.

So far as I can see, No matter where the sphere of Infinity is located there is allus  Greater Still beyond it - unless, of course, the individual is the highest expression of existence (in which case, that individual issa the Wun Who Is Responsible for Ebberyfing and bedda do sumfing to fix existence because sum Stuff is going seriously wrong with Their Planet! 

Science and Belief in God don't Hextklood Each Udder; they Compliment and Enrich Each Udder - because they BOTH can lead to discovering the same fing: this Universe was not Made By Hoomins. It has Rules and Laws that can be discovered by Science, but atta End of Science, there is God. Because, if not God, then who? And if not God, then What? Science is predicated by Logic, and Logic is predicated by Intellect, and Intellect is predicated by Sentient Life - therefore God. .

And it is Troo that Science can show hoomins that there might be Global Warming going on, and mebbe provide details aboudda Glaciers Melting and show ways to Manage Resources Bedda. And it is also Troo that Science can tell how alla Messed Up Wedder Patterns due to Climate Change are making Our Maman sicker and sicker with alla changing BarryMetrick Pressures Flying and Diving across Noo Joisey alla time. And Science can prove that hoomins *rilly* need to do a lot more to Recycle Stuff and cut down on alla Rubbish ebberywheres and how to grow Salad wiffout a lotta chemicals, and Not Test Products on Animals ennymore, but to use technology instead.

But atta SAME TIME, Religion, specifically Christianity, beminds ebberybunny to be a Good Steward, and to Respect This Planet.

Science can show us HOW to be Good Stewards, but the Rev'rind Doctor Ginny Sheay told WHY it is Necessary to be Good Stewards!

Onna'count obba Fakt it is Whut We Do.

And that alla these writers ob NoosPaper articles, like Mr Hitchins and alla the wuns like him, who are so dismissive of people like Maman and the Rev'rind Doctor Ginny Sheay, cannot belive in being Good Stewards obba Planet. Instead, they seem to believe that they are sumhow Owners, and In Charge of Whut Is Going On.

And sumhow, I don't fink that the hoomins like Mr Hitchins and alla the hoomins like him are Important enuf to be in control obba Glaciers, or obba Artic, or obba Wedder Frunts that move across Noo Joisey, or in charge ob Ennyfing - and if they ARE "in charge" then they must be *rilly* messed up, or else have let Udder Hoomins mess up around them!

Because if there is no God, no Architect of the Universe, as the the atheists assume, then the Responsibility for How Things Are and How Stuff Happins rests all on hoomins, all on their Ownliest! And hoomins had bedda Fix Ebberfing with Science onna'count obba Fakt that they claim Science to be their Ownliest Hope!

Which, with the current State of Science, (since it can only demonstrate, not fix and not create), looks to be Preddy Grim.

But according to Whut Hunny Told me inna Lore, the Rev'rind Doctor Ginny Sheay said in her "homily" that "We are Stewards, not Owners of the Planet.", that seems to be more Hopeful.

It means that we have a chance do bedda. We must do bedda. We habba obligation to do bedda in Conservation and Eddykayshun and in being Alla Us Togedder in God's Great Warren. We have a reason to be Hopeful...

Because we are not OnAlone. We are part of a Warren - Alla Us Togedder. We are all dif'frunt, and being dif'frunt means that ebberybun hassa Unique Place withInna Warren.

Yeah!

We are notta End, but Part Ob. Togedder we are Stewards who share in having been Created. We are not just sorta "out there" flapping alone onna tag ends of nothingness, or "trapped here" with the entire weight of Infinity pressing down upon our heads. There are Measures we can all take, Steps we can follow, Things each of us can do to Make Fings Bedda.

But I still don't get it: Why don't these Noospaper writers and finkers seem to Get It?

It seems preddy Simple to me...

We are Stewards, Not Owners of the Planet - Our Warren, alla Our Friends and Relayshuns, Dawgs, Kitties, Udder Species inklooding Hoomins - in God's Great Warren. - Alla Us Togedder, Nobunny OnAlone!

--------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:01 PM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Well, *this* sucks, lemme tell you.

My Blog entry is late, Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren are in a Bad Mood, Maman is on her way to habba Lie-Down wiffa bad headache and It Serves Her Right onna'count obba Fakt that she made us Share A miniWheat!

Talk about Indiggities!

Ennyways...

This morning, Sistah Beffy arrived just as Mman was onna telephone, talking with Our Auntie Grace. You bemember Auntie Grace. She issa mawmie obba Herd In Kin-Tuck-Eee, who usta live in Bis-Con-Sin. Auntie Grace answers the door wearing cammo-flage, and wearing bunny-slippers; she rescued Jazzie, PearlyMae and Our Rainbow Ms CloverBun - who she then sent to live with Our Warren because Clover (beloved of Our Rainbow Beebe-Bunny!!) wassa gray bunny and Auntie Grace wanted to bemind Our Phil *Forebber* that "Army Beat Navy in 2001".

And Phil told Auntie Grace that as soon as Clover mooved innu Our Warren, she "saw the light", gave up on Army and became a Troo Navy Supporter -

"Because you'll notice that Navy has gone on to beat Army ever since!" he says, and then adds, "Ooh-Rah Bunnies! Go Navy!"

Whutebber! I will let you in onna Liddle Sekret: Our Rainbow Ms Clover, just like the rest of Alla Us Togedder, don't rilly care that much about *Games*. Our Playtime usually revolves around Running, Binkying and Looking At Stuff. Catching and Fetching Balls is Stuff we leave to Dawgs.

Ennyways...

Sistah Beffy brought Babby Anya with her early This Morning so Maman had to hang up the Phone Frum Talking with Auntie Grace, who was busy Instructing Drills ennyways.

Now Babby Anya is gedding Inner-resting. She seems to be a Very Small Hoomin. She can Walk on her ownest, but she cannot Talk using Inkwish werds. She usses sum Udder Kind of noises that Sistah Beffy and Maman fink they Unnerstand.

Frum Whut I Can See, she holds out her hands and goes "Ahhhhh". 

Maman spends a lotta time Herding Anya sorta the same way that Da Dawg Herds Cat (since Cokie-da-Fat-Cat won't Herd, there is only Beep-da-Udder-Cat inna Dawg's Herd).

So this Morning, Anya toddles innu the BunRoom first, followed very Closely by Maman. If Baby Anya hadda tail, Maman would be onnit, lemme tell you!

So ennyways, as they are passing the Treat Cupboard, Maman says to Babby Anya, "Would Anya like a miniWheat?"

Now a miniWheat, as everybunny knows, is wunna those Small, Square Dry Cereal Treats that Maman sumtimes shares around with Alla Us Togedder. She will hold it in her Fingers and let each Wun Ob Us habba Turn taking Bites outta it, but no bun can get a Whole miniWheat, onna'count obba Fakt that Maman says they are Not Good For Bunnies because of "Too Much Sugar" (whutebber *that* means!).

But miniWheats are GOOD, lemme tell you!

And Sistah Beffy says to Maman, "How-come you never have any *good-for-you* cereal when we come over, like Cheerios or something?"

And Maman says, "MiniWheats *are* good."

"For Old People." says Sistah Beffy.

So Maman says to Babby Anya, "Does Anya wanna miniWheat?"

And Babby Anya goes, "Ahhhhhh!" and holds out her hand.

So Maman says, "Of course you do!" like Anya said, "Yes. and gives her a miniWheat and says, "Thank you, Granny." for no apparent reason.

Then Maman looks at Sistah Beffy and says, "The baby likes Old People cereal." Like Anya isn't in the room, and then she smiles down on Babby Anya and says, "You're not a Picky-puss are you, Sweetie?"

And Babby Anya goes, "Ahhhh.", which Maman takes assa 'Firmative Reply and says to Sistah Beffy, "See? I love miniWheats, Granny!" Which nobunny heard  Babby Anya say at all, and only proves that Maman is Nutz.

So, meanwhile, Babby Anya cruises on innu the BunRoom clutching the miniWheat in her liddle hand. And she stops at the Furst Habbytat she encounters, looks down at Foxie inside and goes "Ahhhhh!"

So Maman turns her 'tenshun frum Sistah Beffy, smiles down on Babby Anya and says, "That's right - it's Foxie!"

And Missy looks over at me in Our Habbytat and axts, "Since when does 'Ahhh' sound like 'Fox-eee'?"

And I reply, "Beats me."

And Anya goes "Ahhhh!" again, and latches on to the sides of Foxie's habbytat.

So Maman says, "That's right again, Anya! That's Liddle Foxie-bunny, coming to say 'Hello" to Anya! Whutta Nice BunnyRabbit." And puts Maman her hands out around Anya's hands and takes them offa Foxie's Habbytat.

And Missy looks back at me, raises an eyebrow, and says, "'Scuse me, but I'm a nice BunnyRabbit, too!"

And I said, "My Ownliest Bunny-Gurl Ob Gen'rus P'porshuns!." and kept on chewing hay: there are sum fings that are just Troo.

Now, Foxie issa preddy good bunny for not having been in Our Warren all that long. Since she is living inna HouzRabbit-Friendly Place, she has learned a lot, like how not to be Habbytat Protective and not to be Afraid Of Hands like she usta be, so she goes over to see Whut Anya Wants. And she puts up her Teeny Teacup-Inkwish-Spot Nose and sniffles Anya's the scent frum her Liddle Fingers.

And as soon as Foxie's liddle nose touches her liddle fingers, Babby Anya steps back and goes "Ahhhh!" and starts to clap her hands togedder.

And Maman grabs Anya's hands and says to her, "Shhhh, Quiet Anya. Gentle bunnies."

And Anya looks up at Maman and goes, "Ahhhhh?"

And Maman goes, "That's right! Quiet Anya! Happy liddle bunnies!"

And over in Our Habbytat, MissyBun raises wun ear at me and says, "Hokay, I gib up. Sumfing is goin' on here and I'm missin' it."

And I'm, like, "Beats me."

And right about then, Dusty starts banging around in his habbytat, that is about on eye-level with Anya. Like he's just figgered it out that Anya is a Short-Edition of Maman. So he's Periscoping and Tooth-Rattling his habbytat, making noise and yelling,

"Hey! You! Short-Hoomin! PET-THE-BUNYY! PET-THE-BUNNY! You know you want to! PET-THE-BUNNY!"

And Babby Anya looks at Maman and then at Dusty, points her liddle finger at him and goes, "Ahhhh!"

And Maman says, "That's right!" like Anya has guessed a Sekret. "That's Our Dusty-Bun!"

And doesn't she just take hold of Anya's Liddle Hand, opin Dusty's Habbytat Door  and say to Anya, "Very Gentle Anya."

And Anya goes, "Ahhhhhhhhh"

And Maman starts stroking Dusty's stoopit liddle head with Anya's hand!

Well, *that* preddy much does it - because Dusty pracktick'ly passes out frum Sheer Happiness, and you can preddy much see Anya's eyes getting wider and wider, and there is Maman, All Smiles.

And Maman says, "Look at Anya! Nice, gentle Dusty bunny!"

And suddinly Anya squeaks, "Ahhhhhh!", snatches back her liddle hand, and begins to bob up-and-down, all hextcited-like.

And that's When It Happins: Babby Anya drops the miniWheat that she is clutching in her Udder Hand.

Anna miniWheat falls right frum Anya's liddle hand, directick'ly through innu Foxie's Habbytat!

And Foxie shouts, "Fank You!" and dives onna miniWheat!

And over in Our Habbytat, Missy raises *both* ears and goes, "Whaaaaaaaaa!"

...Onna'count obba Fakt that Maman ushally makes Alla Us Togedder *SHARE* Wun Whole miniWheat and Babby Anya has just given Wun Whole miniWheat for Foxie to hab on her Ownliest!.

Talk aboudda Indiggity!

So Maman shouts for Dadda. And she tells him, "You have to get that miniWheat Away Frum Foxie."

And Anya goes, "Ahhhhh?"

And Foxie isn't saying ennyfing, except there are munching nosies coming frum her habbytat.

Dusty is still pracktic'ly unconscious frum habbin' been Pet-the-Bunnied, while Mr Mouse (who saw *hextactly* Whut Just Happined frum across the way in his Habbytat) is spinning in circles, grunting, he's so beside himself wif 'nnoyance at not getting enny miniWheat.

And Missy *THUMPS* and then shouts at me, "Are you just gonna sit heer and let it happin?!"

And I keep my mouth shut, because a Big Part of Top-Bunning is not being  Stoopit.

And Dadda looks at Maman and axts, "Are you outta your mind?"

And Maman says, "No. Foxie can't have a whole miniWheat. It's not fair. NoBunny *ever* gets Whun Whole miniWheat."

So Sistah Beffy (who knows Trubble when she sees it) comes in and scoops up Baby Anya.

And Dadda says to Maman, "You're going to have a Very Angry Bunny if I have to reach in that habbytat and take that miniWheat away frum Princess." (Dadda allus calls Foxie his "Princess" now.)

And Maman gets this "Look" on her face.

Now I unnerstand this "Look" onna'count obba Fakt that it's a lot like the kind of "Look" Belinda Bunny usta get just before she put her Paw Down - on sumbun's head.

And Maman says to Dadda, "Well, either you get the miniWheat out of there or we end up having to make a 'Mergency Call to Doctor Sharin when Foxie goes innu Stasis, later. There's entirely too much Sugar there for a Teacup Inkwish Spot!"

So Dadda opins up Foxie's Habbytat and snatches away the miniWheat she's werking on.

Foxie yells, "Hey!" and tries to hold on to the miniWheat, but of course it falls apart in her mouth, and Dadda gets it and gives it to Maman.

And then Alla Us Togedder get to share Wun miniWheat that has Foxie-spit all over it: wun bunny, wun miniWheat, wun bite - Each.

And *then* doesn't Maman just go and give Whut's Left Over obba miniWheat to Da Dawg!

We're talking Big-Time Indiggiety here.

So now Mr Mouse is giving Everybun the RBB, and Dusty is having a nap, trying to recover frum being Pet-the-Bunnied; Foxie is inna Full-Blown Full-Sized-Inkwish-Spot Sulk and won't talk to ennybunny, and Missy says she is Offishully Outraged.

And my The Hay Diaries Blog entry is Way Beyond "Late"!

A Great Start to Our Satturdee Morning, don'tcha fink?

-------------------------------------------- by George

Posted by Our Warren at 2:17 PM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Now when I Furst arrived in Our Warren, I wassa Skert Little Babby Bunny about three months old. I wassa Easter Dump - wunna those poor little bunnies that is bought assa cuddly toy for Easter and then got rid of when I "became a bother" when Easter was over.

I dunno how menny times I gotta keep saying it but I'm saying it again, EASTER IS NO FUN FOR A REAL BUN! MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE! (Go HERE for more information about How You Can Help Save Bunnies' Lives at Easter!) And if you have carefully considered it, and want to share your Life with a Companion Rabbit, then GIVE A BUNNY A SECOND CHANCE - ADOPT! (And please visit the HouseRabbit Society  website before you do!).

But I was Wunna the Lucky Wuns: I was left OnAlone inna cardboard box atta V-E-Ts office where Maman rescued me, but I was too young to have left my Mawmie when I was sold assa cuddly toy inna Furst Place. So When I arrived in Our Warren and found a bunch of bunnies living here, I spent a lotta time Looking For My Mawmie.

And of course, I was disappointed. There was no mawmie heer for me. (You can read about my Search for My Mawmie in the July/August 2004 entries of The Hay Diaries.) Still, I made a lotta Friends, because I joined a Warren. And onna'countobba Fakt that I was living assa Urban Rabbit inna Warren, I found my Perfect BondMate in MissyBun, my Beautiful Bun-wife of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns!

Yeah!

Ennyways...

When I arrived at Our Warren, the Hoomins Who Lived Heer were Maman, Dadda and Our Phil.

And Maman is the mawmie of Our Phil. And ennybun who knows them can tell that they are Mawmie and Kit, or Mudder and Son (In Inkwish) mostly by looking at them. Even better, listening to them. It was so Then, When I Arrived, and even Now...

Like Yestidday AftaNoon, just as we were finishing up NapTime and getting ourselves ready for Evening.

The Houz had been *rilly* quiet. Dadda was inna Bedroom. He said he was "Reading", but we all know Whut Happins when he takes a Buk innu the Bedroom inna AftaNoon afta he's been werking: soon he Acquires A Cat, and then preddy soon afta that, there's Polyphonic Snoring.

And Maman was inna Sitting Room, and she was also s'sposed to be "Reading" but then she also had Acquired A Cat, (since there are Two Catz, there was One Cat to Infect Each Hoomin) and as Foxie said, the sounds ob page turning stopped inna Sitting Room and all We could hear was more obba Polyphonic Snoring and sum really boring music "Your Local Radar" Wedder Channel plays when it shows its maps onna television.

Now I am Possytive these outbreaks of Polyphonic Snoring have to do with the Acquiz-ay-shun ob Cats. It's like catching a cold, or getting Infected by Germs or sumfing.

Ennyways...

And Outside, Guess Whut? It was gently SNOWing!

Yeah!

The night Bifore, alla Wedder Channel "Your Local Radar" fings onna Television had been saying "It's gonna rain" when they showed alla Maps of Us, but there it was - SNOW - falling down past Our Warren's Memorial Window - big, floaty, Flakes Of White, looking just like feathers, filling up alla crooks inna tree branches, and covering uppa Rooster WedderVane onna Garage of Don-NextestDoor!

And Missy and I were in Our Habbytat, and Alla Us Togedder were chewing hay and wondering when Maman was going to come in and Turn Onna BunLight because it was beginning to Look A Lot Like Dusk.

Ennyways...

The telephone rang. And it sounded *rilly* LOUD onna'count obba Fakt that the Whole Houz was so Quiet, except for the Polyphonic Snoring caused by Cats.

So we heard the sound obba Buks falling onna floor inna Sitting Room, and the sound of a Cat tumbling over, and Maman stumbled frumma Sitting Room, innu the Bedroom and out innu the Kitchin wiffa Telephone.

And she pushed alla buttons onna Phone and suddinly, we heard Phil's voice like he was right inna room with Alla Us Togedder.

And Maman said toda Telephone, "So whut's up wif you?"

And we heard Phil's voice say: "I was wondering if you might have some spare change lying around."

And Maman got this anxiety-stricken look on her face and axted inna hurry, "Whutsamatta?"

And we heard Phil again: "Oh, nothing. I was driving around and I was wondering..."

And Maman sorta deflated a litted and innerupted him: "Are you outta your mind? It's SNOWing out there, Stoopit!"

And we heard a pause, and we could sorta imagine Phil, finking over his state-of-mind bifore he answered her. Then he said cautiously, "Yeah, I know. But it's not bad out."

But he should have known bedda, because even we knew Whut She Was Gonna Say nextest:

"It's not you I'm werried about; it's the Udder Idiots. I taught you How To Drive Inna SNOW, but I didn't teach them. Go Home NOW, bifore wunna them runs innu you!"

And that's hextactly whut she said.

And there was anudder slight pause frum Phil. And then he said, "Honest Mom, it's not bad out. Just a little slippery."

And while she talking onna phone, Maman had come out through the Kitchin and innu the BunRoom and turned onna BunLight. So she told Phil,  "There. No more Bunnies Inna Dark."

And Phil went, "That's good. So actually, since I was out, I was wondering..."

And Maman stopped with her hand onna Big White Salad Bank and said, "Well, stop wondering and Go Home. It's SNOWing out."

And Phil said, "Yeah. I noticed." And you could almost see him, struggling to get his hands back onna steering-wheel obba conversation. "But I was on my way frum running errands and I thought since I was going past your place ennyways..."

But Maman doesn't "steer"; it's more like her mind runs on tracks. So she said. "That's good thinking, dear. You just keep on passing until you Get Home bifore ennyfing happins to you. Get Offa Road bifore some Udder Idiot runs innu you!"

And we could hear Phil as he made anudder attempt to switch tracks - but bringing Maman around to run on your tracks when she's alreaddy fixed on sum udder tracks is like trying to stop the Titanic: you need an iceberg, or a guided missil or sumfing.

"So, um," And Alla Us Tgedder heard Phil launch his iceberg. "I was just going Past your place and since I have nothing to do tonight except hit the "enter" key on my computer while I reinstall some software, I thought I'd stop and ask if you and Brian had any Loose Change that you might like to loan..."

But Maman was firmly fixed on her course. "Well you can train a monkey to hit the "enter' key for you. Good grief, you're a Computer Hardware Engineer! Can't you teach your flat-mate to do that for you? Besides, the sooner you Get Home, the sooner you'll have the stuff installed. Why are you out in the SNOW, ennyway? I'm trying to make dinner. Since you're passing, why not stop..."

And even Alla Us Togedder knew that Phil would rather eat ground-up glass at that point than eat whutebber she was making for dinner, So Phil innerupted her with. "Thanks but I alreaddy ate, Mom."

And then he hadda'nudder go at trying to swing her around to his point "The thing is that tonight is gonna be really boring, being stuck inside with nothing to do and we thought if we had a six-pack, we could pay you back tomorrow..."

And even though he was hitting the werds pretty hard, they bounced right offa Maman. And she innerupted him again:

"Well, it's nice not having ennyfing to do for once. Whut you need to do is to Go Home," She said, eluding him again and returning to her own, peculiar orbit.

"Get outta the wedder, decompress and have a nice evening in for once. Just watch the SNOW and stay away frum alla Idiots who don't know How to Drive Innit. You know how it is around here, Phil: sumbun yells "SNOW" and suddinly every Moron Wiffa Driver's License hasta jump inna car to take a spin onna Lucky Insurance Wheel. You know this is The Gambling State! Ebbery Flake inna State hassa ticket for Lotto On Ice!"

And there was anudder pause, and we just knew he was considering Gibbin Up. Not because he'd been beat, but because wherebber he was, it was Past the Point ob No Return - too far frumma Houz to make a detour and no Point in trying to pry the conversation outta this particular groove in her mental pavement

So we heard him go for the Last Ditch Effort: "Well, since I don't play the lottery..."

"And belive me, I've always been thankful that you have good sense..."

"Um, yeah...I try, but, you know, tomorrow is pay-day and we could pay you back..."

And Missy nudged me inna ribs and said suddinly, "Wun Baby Organic Carrot says she won't take the bait. She's stuck on 'Going Home' and that's it."

And I said. "No bet." Because I am not Stoopit. "But you godda admit, he's gave it a good run."

And Missy nodded, because we've seen so menny of these contests bifore.

And then Phil launched his final assult: "You know," he said. "It's not hard to have a Constantly Boring Existence when you face a night of Total Bordom that could be easily eliminated by borrowing a little loose change..."

And it was like the Proverbial Penny dropped at last, but not innu Phil's lap, so to speak.

"Did I mention that Brian didn't stop by the bank today?" Maman said. "I told him that I thought it was going to SNOW so he came straight home before the Circus hit the Streets. Besides we're going to the market tomorrow when the roads will be Clear. You're welcome to go with us..."

And Mr Mouse bounced in his habbytat and yelled, "Terminal Velocity!"

And Dusty popped up frum his haypile and axted him, "Wheredaheck is 'Terminal Velos-City?'"

And Mouse said, "It's not a city, it's the speed of sumfing falling as fast as it can and can't go enny faster onna'count obba Fakt ob 'drag'." he hextplained. "Which in this case issa place where Maman and Phil are inna conversation. Maman is stuck on Go Home and Phil is stuck on Loose Change and there's no way they're gonna meet. Ebber. So the conversation has reached 'Terminal Velocity' and isn't going enny further."

"And Our Phil knows alla'bout 'Terminal Velocity' onna'count obba Fakt that he went to 'Jump School' inna Navy and lerned how to Abandon Perfektly Good Airplanes wearing parachutes." I added. Because this is Troo: I heard Phil telling Sheeba's Dadda, Our Unkul Peter, that The Navy hadda teach him this skill in case he happined to get innu an Airplane fulla ChairForce (whutebber *that* is!).

Ennyways... 

So there was anudder pause, and then Phil said, "Thanks, Mom..."

And Maman said, "Drive carefully, dear. There are a lotta morons out there. Love you."

And Phil said, "I know, Mom. Love you, too."

And you could just hear it - the conversation was Ober. Mouse was right about Phil recognising "Terminal Velocity" when he'd reached it, s'specially when talking with Maman. It was like being in free-fall with a rock, and there was no place to go, 'cept "down".

And then Dadda came outta the Bedroom and said to Maman, "Who was that onna phone?"

And Maman said, "Phil."

And Dadda axted her, "Whut did he want?"

And Maman said, "He was running errands and I told him to go home because it was SNOWing out."

And Dadda said, "Oh." 

And bent down to habba look-in on Mr Mouse. Dadda said berry softly to Mouse, "You'd think if Phil was inna car, he'd have noticed the SONW alreddy, so..." 

And we could see Dadda weighing up his options about pursuing this line of thought. But Dadda had gotten preddy smart ober the years he's been in Our Warren, s'specially aboudda werkings between Maman and Phil, and like Phil, he can sense 'Terminal Velocity'  approaching when a conversation wif her might be getting up to speed.

And Missy said quickly, "Two Ear-grooms or a Baby Organic Carrot he changes the subjekt!"

And I was like, "Since when did you get the bookmaking franchise around heer?"

And Dusty yelled, "Carrots? Who's getting carrots? Is it Treat-Time? I 'll have wun! Over heer! PET-THE-BUNNY! Drop a carrot!". And he began bouncing around his habitat like a loose ping-pong ball.

And so I let my ears droop and axted Mouse who had set off the Idiot Alarm *this time* and he grunted, and Dadda thought Mouse meant to him and said,

"Oh stop it, Shagbag."

Which effectively derailed Maman's train of thought.

Because she came steaming through innu the BunRoom, opened Mr Mouse's habbytat and said to Dadda,

"You know, you shouldn't call him names like that. I'm sure you're hurting his feelings. Poor little Mouse-kus! Here you are, an Apprentice ADA to Jack McCoy and some Great Big B-S-M-E is calling you 'Shagbag' - it's an indiggity!".

And Missy chortled, "You owe me, Handsum!" and did a little Victory Butt-Wiggle.

You know, I am such a sucker...

---------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 1:24 PM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

PET-THE-BUNNY!!PET-THE-BUNNY!!PET-THE-BUNNY!!PET-THE-BUNNY!!

PET-THE-BUNNY!!PET-THE-BUNNY!!PET-TH...

DUST-TEEEE!!

    Will you get OUTTA Here!!!

Good grief.

You know, Stuff just keeps on happinin' around here.

It's like lastest night.

Maman and Dadda were sitting inna Sitting Room, watching the Television onna'count obba Fakt that Maman has found a Noo Show to watch that is not Law & Order. However, like Law & Order that she found for Mr Mouse, she also found this show by ak-see-dent.

It is called NCIS.

I don't know whut it is about, 'cept that it has to do with The Navy, which is sumfing that Maman (and Phil) likes. You'll bemember that Phil was axtchually Inna Navy and now he issa Vedderan, and still rolls his tee-shirts (even his HareWEAR ones!) innu rolls to keep in his laundry. Maman says, "You can take the boy outta The Navy but you can't take The Navy outta the boy."

This is prob'ly Troo. Maman's Dadda, who is Our Bim who is atta Rainbow Bridge, was also Inna Navy a Berry Long Time Ago. A little ways away frum here is a sort ob Bim Memorial Gardin Place, and there issa fing there that tells about him being Inna Navy. He was also a Nashunal Guard Meddykal Offysir, but that wasn't as big a deal to him as being Inna Navy, I guess mebbe because Inna Navy, he Had 'Venchurs, like Our Phil, that are all part of Maman's Lore that she tells to us, that I bemember as part of Our Lore that was tauht to me by meHunny, *Senior Bun* of Our Warren. This is all Important.

So Ennyways...

Maman found this NCIS show while she and Mr Mouse were watching Law & Order. Mouse said that she sat down onna Channel Changer Fing or he else he trod onnit by Axy-dint, but ennyhow, the Channels got switched and Mouse said that suddinly there was This Big Grey Thing Wif Airplanes Onnit onna Television and Maman got all hextcited and said to Mouse,