Now Playing: Basic Bunny Sense
Maman and I have been reading the noospapers like we always do and I have been sitting here onna footon, Finking, and finally, I just have to commint on summa the stuff I've read...
Yes, well, of course "Chefs are Chemists" and it's not "Food 2.0", it's just Common Sense! I hab no cloo why the New York Times would put an article in their noospaper and fink it is , you know, *Noos*. When you add "heat" to somefing, you are inna biznizz of initiating change atta molecular level. Whut, was ebberybunny who ever cooked a meal onna range mentally absent during high school science class? I don't believe I saw an article about this inna "serious" noospaper like the New York Times!
And then there was the List of the "10 Ridiculous Laws" in the Telegraph Online. Maman and I liked that article and Dadda laughed a good deal about nobun being permitted to die in the Houses of Parly-mint. He says that's howcome there are are so menny brain-dead hoomins still left walkin' around there - nobunny wants to admit they've broken the Law...
And then there was a lot of Election Noos in The Times of Trenton and The Trentonian, and Maman read that. Most of it didn't really innerest Missy and me because it had nothing to do with Where We Live. Our local noospapers mostly forget Ewing is onna map unless something bad happens. On the udder paw, Maman says that's the hoomins-who-live-here own faults for caring more about the unner-acheeve-mint of the township's sports teams than the quality of their children's academic education.
Whut she rilly said was that football is just an excuse to watch the Marching Band. Dadda said American football is nanny-state rugby. (And they both said udder hoomins wouldn't share their views.)
Alla Us Togedder have No Opinion. We have never seen football, only Da Dawg's ball and he has a whole blue baskit of them that he keeps trying to pursuade people to throw for him out inna BackGardin so he can bring them back. We have no idea why he does this, because it seems preddy Stoopit. I mean, why pester ebberybunny to throw a ball just so he can go rocketing afta it and bring it back to do it again?
And Maman has given each of Us Bunnies some balls with bells inside for us to push around in our habbytats. They're sort of fun for awhile and then they mostly just get InnaWay. Then we pick them up and toss them aside and Maman tells us how good we are, because she finks we're Playing.
I hate to tell her, but we're not Playing with the Stoopit Balls: we're getting them Outta The Way of more Serious Stuff, like lettuce.
Hoomins just don't get it, you know? I mean, like when Missy hops around the edges of a room. That's not Missy doing her "Cute" or "Hextploring", that's Missy making sure the boundaries of the room are Safe. She's checking for Intruders, Clearing Vines and Obstacles, Marking Exits - in short, doing Whut Bunnies Do. And we Do It to stay Safe.
We do Our Cute to get treats, but we do a whole lotta Udder Stuff because we've been Prey for a Very Long Time and have Learned To Stay Safe by doing stuff like Marking Exits, Clearing Vines, and making sure that Intruders haven't sneaked in or invaded a room while we weren't in it to Defend Our Teritorry. We snip vines so we don't trip when we run, and if there are 'puter cords or wires inna way, we'll snip those, too. It's called Being Safe.
We aren't doing it to Amuse Hoomins.
And we don't usually mess with balls, even if they have bells-in. You know, Mouse sed that he saw some bunny onna tellyvision while he was waiting for "Law & Order" to come on, and this hoomin was pushing a big plastic ball at his houserabbit. And here was this lovely miniLop, sitting happily in loaf position and this ball rolls up. So the bunny stands up and lunges and - BAM - the ball rolls back to his hoomin. So the hoomin rolls the ball back toda bunny. Anna bunny lunges atta ball and - BAM - back goes the ball toda hoomin.
So whut does da hoomin do? Pushes da ball back towards the bunny! And you can see that the bunny is there, like, "Hokay, Stoopit, bring it!" and, sure enuf, da hoomin pushes da ball back atta bunny anna bunny lunges atta ball and sends it sailing back atta hoomin and hits him inna hed.
Anna'nouncer goes, "David Beckham, eat your heart out!"
And as Mouse sed, "The only good fings going for that bunny are that he issa Housebunny wif lotsa toys and fresh veggies lying around for him wif hay and stuff, and he doesn't appear to be inflicted with enny Victorias."
But you know, this is just Basic Bunny Sense... and some people call Us "dumb bunnies".... geez...they really need to have a look inside their inner back gardins...
-------------------------------- By George