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Saturday, 26 May 2007
George's 5th Strand (2007); Day Number 26
Now Playing: HollyDay Week-End!

Well, it issa Memorial Day HollyDay WeekEnd, and Alla Us Togedder, heer at Our Warren just wanna wish Ebberybunny we know a berry Hoppy and Safe Start toda Summer!


Tiday, Phil-da-Lad, Maman and Dadda are gonna begin setting uppa Screen Porch so we bunnies can hab Our Playtime outside.

The Screen Porch issa Great Place for us to hab Our Playtime, because basikly, it issa whole Room that is Offa Ground by Four Foots, and has no door toda Outside, and is Surrounded by Screens, so there are No Bugs, No Preddytors, and Alla Us Togedder can be outside enjoying breezes anna Wind-Chimes wiffoud habbin' to Werry Aboud EnnyFing.

So we are allus berry hoppy to hab dat room re-opined to us Ebbery Summer!


And dis Memorial Day WeekEnd issa WeekEnd datta ScreenPorch will ged opined!

*Paw-Waves to Lilly and Penny who lib Nextest Door!* (Dey hab their own Screen Porch, too, which is preddy good onna'count ob dem being Dawgs and all, but den, dey habba nice Mawmie, so it kinda figgers, you know?)

So ennyways, Alla Us Togedder are hoping dat alla you will hab Sumfing Good Happin for you onna Memorial Day WeekEnd!

And on Monday, (which issa Real Memorial Day) I hope to tell you aboud'da Memorial Day P-rade where Our Phil is gonna be innit, onna'count obba Fakt dat he issa Navy Veteran. And we also wanna tell aboud Our Auntie Grace, and Unkul Bernie, and Unkul Toby, and Our Bim's Bestest-Friend Dave Sweet (who Flew-Away-and-Nebber-Came-Back) and alla Udder Veterans and hoomins who are Serving Inna Millytary dat we know.


Lotta stuff going on, which is Pretty Good. Maman says we might ebben gedda Flags to hab on our habbytats! Ob course, MissyBun sed we would radder hab summa dat Flat Italian Parsley dat seems to be takin' ober Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Gardin, but she would!

And Maman sed she might tell us suma Da Lore aboud'da Our Bim-inna-Navy inna World War Too, and sum udder parts obba Lore dat she knows.

So all-in-all dere issa Wot To Wook Forwards To.

As Auntie Grace and The Herd in Kin-Tuck-Eee is fond ob sayin' "We March On!"


------------------------ By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:23 PM EDT
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Friday, 25 May 2007
George's 5th Strand (2007); Day Number 25
Now Playing: Left-Obers

So tiday, I'm sitting here inna Study, doing my Cute and hoping for summa that *rilly* good Flat Italian Parsley that seems to be growing our in Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Rose & Herb Gardin.

So far, in spite ob my best Cute, nuffin has currently arrived.

Howebber, I do not beeleeb in Gibbin' Up. That is for Udder Creechurs who don't Beeleeb in their Cute. I do, which is why I know Maman is going to offer Alla Us Togedder sumfing wike a Treat soonest. Just as soon as she and I get this Blog sorted out, which is Why I'm Keeping Up My Cute - the more Cute, the sooner we go Downnastairs to getta Treates

Unless she runs outta coffee. Then we go Downnastairs a lot sooner. But we also come Back Uppystairs because she has This Fing going aboud'da Dissyplin.

Howebber MissyBun and I each gotta Bite ob Spice Cookie, which is sorta like a Treat, 'cept it's only Wun Bite, which is not Very Much.

Bunnies prefer a Muchness, wike you get wif Salad, or Baby Organic Carrots or Flat Italian Parsley, or ebben Raisins, where you get More Than Wun.

But Maman is habbin' Cookies for Breakfast mainly because she can dip them in her coffee so there are No Crumbs to bung up her 'puter, and because she says she agrees wiffa "Bill Cosby Theory ob Cake" - it has alla required nutritional ellymints innit, wike wheat, cornstarch, sugar, spice, butter - which are Natchurally Eaten by Hoomins for Breakfast, and it tastes Good.

She says she is no fan ob whut she calls da "Twigs and Berries" approach to Nutrition. "Granola" bars don't last around here because mostly, they get fed toda Dawg. He eats ennyfing.

Last Nite, Phil-da-Lad came ober and stayed to hab Hot-dogs for dinner. Dis is his favourite dinner and Maman allus buys these same hot-dog fings called "Hebrew Nashunals". They are not axtchually Dawgs, I shuld point out, but sumfings dat hoomins stick inside ob rolls to eat.

So da Dawg, who issa real dawg named Marc-da-Border-Collie, sat down to wait and see if there wuld be "Left-Obers". Marc is a Big Fan ob Left-Obers, and doesn't ebben hab to hab enny Cute to get them. He just hasta sit there and be whut Dadda calls A Hairy Dust-Bin.

So Marc is sitting inna Dining Room, being A Hairy Dust-Bin, and along comes Cokie-da-Fat-Cat.

Now Cokie doesn't bother with his Cute, eidder, unless certain condishiuns prevail, and Showing Up For Dinner isn't Wun Obba Condishuns. Cokie doesn't beeleeb in Catz Axtin' For Left-Obers. As he sees it, left-obers are a Rite, and in partic'lar, they are His Rite. 

So he comes stumpin' innu da Dining Room, sits down nextest toda Dawg, fixes Dadda wiffa Stare and demands his porshun obba Left-obers.

And Cokie's Porshun preddy much incloods ebberyfing onna table.

So Dadda tells Cokie, "You're outta luck, son."

And Cokie turns around and flips his tail at Dadda (they hab *dat* sortaz relayshunship) and strolls unnerneaf obba Dawg's chin to go stand up on his hind feets to habba look at Phil's plate!

So Phil is, wike, "You want me to play whack-a-mole wif you hed, Cat?"

And Cokie glares at Phil, gets down and starts shamblin' ober to where Maman is sitting. But Maman stops him bifore he ebben gets there by sayin, "Don't ebben, Cokie!"

And by dis time, da Dawg is lying down, so Cokie makes a U-turn, and comes back to lie down, full-stretch across da Dawg's paws and rolls ober on his back, so datta Dawg has No Choice but to be lookin' down across a Broad Hextpanse ob Cat-gut.

Anna Dawg is lookin around helplessly, wike, "Sumbody ged him offa me!"

Anna Upside-down Cokie-Cat starts to Complain Out-loud dat he is not geddin' enny obba Left-obers.

So out inna Bun Room, MissyBun *Thumps* which is her way ob telling da Cokie-Cat to "Shaddup".

Normally Missy's *thumps* are preddy powerful, since she issa Big, Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus P'roporshuns, but dis time she was sitting inna pootie-pan when she did it, so da nice layer ob Yestreday's Noos litter absorbed some obba shock and muffled da sound a widdle bit - which is why Maman called through frumma Dining Room,

"All right, George, that's enough frum out there!"

And I'm, wike, "Whut?" Because I knew I hadn't done ennyfing.

And den Dadda says, "Dat wasn't George. Too light; it hadda be Mouse."

And Mouse is sitting quietly in his corner and he's, wike, "Whuttaheck?"

So Missy *Thumps* again, just to straighten ebberybunny out.

And ob course while dis is going on, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is still lying upside-down across da Dawg's paws, complaining dat he's not geddin' left-obers anna Dawg is busy looking Distressed because he's Covered in Cat and can't do ennyfing aboud'dit.

So it's Phil who gives in Furst.Maman says he hassa soft heart. Dadda says he sumtimes hassa soft hed to go wiffit, but dat's anudder story altogedder. So ennyways, Phil leans ober da side ob his chair and says toda Cokie-Cat,

"All right, Fat-Guts. If I gib you a liddle piece ob hot-dog, will you shut da h*ll up?" (I can't type does kinda Navy werds, Maman says.)

And Phil breaks offa widdle bit ob his hot-dog and places it onna floor.

Well, da Cokie-Cat rolls up at oncest, stands on all four feets, and gobbles down the widdle piece ob hot-dog.

Anna Dawg unscrambles his legs and stands up, too. And his face is set inna "Whaaaaaaa!" hextpression.

And Dadda wooks atta Cokie-Cat and says, "Dat didn't ebben touch da sides goin' down."

And Maman, who ob course notices da Dawg in Distress, says to Phil, "Now gib sumfing - not da roll, Stoopit! - toda Dawg so he won't feel left out."

And Phil is wike, "I would wike to hab sum ob my food left for me to eat! I'm a growing boy!"

So Maman glares at him and calls da Dawg ober to her. And da Dawg goes ober to her, only to find datta Cokie-Cat has taken a short-cut unnerneaf obba table and  beaten him toda side ob her chair!

Now da Dawg is Not Allowed to show enny Aggression toward enny Catz or Bunnies, eidder, for dat matter. No matter Whut We Do, he hasta show Obedience and Restraint. Dat's part ob his Job, and Jobs are sacred amongst Border-Collies (ob which he is wun).

So here issa Fat-Cat, cuttin' Furst In Line for left-obers ahead ob him, and he can't do a Fing abouddit.

But since he is taller, Maman gibs da Dawg sum hot-dog. And she leans ober her chair, and dere issa Cokie-Cat, glaring up at her and purring wike a motor-boat.

And Maman says, "These guys have bad attitudes, getting fed frumma table like dis." Den she looks up and acrosst da table at Dadda and adds, "Brian, dis is your fault."

And she puts downna'nudder widdle piece ob hot-dog onna floor forda Fat-Cat and gibs da Dawg anudder chunk ob hot-dog.

And Phil says, "Yeah, Brian. They didn't beg wike dis bifore you came. It's your fault."

And Phil breaks offa'nudder widdle bit ob hot-dog datta Fat-Cat sees and inhales rite away. And den he gibs anudder, bigger piece toda Dawg.

And Dadda is sittin' dere, wike, wif his hed on one side, and he says, "Hextcuse me? Who is feeding dem frumma table?"

And just den, da Cokie-Cat pops up frum unnerneaf obba table, almost in Dadda's face, and he's got his paws out, hanging on across Dadda's arm, wif claws (which he is not sus'posed to do).

And Dadda's wike, "Owwwww! You (Anglo-Saxon werds dat Maman says I am not allowed to type go here)!" and he shakes da Cokie-Cat offa his arm.

Well, da Cat goes flying, and rite aboud den, da Dawg's training preddy much snaps, and dere issa brief run-around around da Dining Room, and a whole lotta shouting wif Navy werds and Anglo-Saxon werds dat Maman says Small White Bunnies shuld not type in their Blogs. And den da Cat bolts for Uppystairs wif da Dawg hot on his tail afta him.

And den dere is preddy much quiet inna Dining Room. 'Cept for Dadda sitting back down in his chair. And Phil chucklin'. And Maman snortin', "Good grief!"

So just to sort ob putta "Last Werd" in (because dat's whut she's wike), MissyBun *Thumps* again frum where she's ockypying da High Ground inna pooty-box. And da nice, new litter preddy much absorbs da weight obba sound again.

And Dadda calls in frumma Dining Room, "Shaddup, George!"

And I'm, wike, "Whut?"

And Missy wooks acrosst da habbytat to me and says, "You herd Dadda. Shaddup."

------------------------ By George! 

Posted by Our Warren at 11:29 AM EDT
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Thursday, 24 May 2007
George's 5th Strand (2007); Day Number 24
Now Playing: You Nebber Know...

Well, you nebber know, do you? You just nebber, ebber know.

So here am I, George, sitting on Maman's lap, learning to Read By Noospaper, and there is MissyBun, wandering around onna carpet inna Study, leebing pooties inna Catz 'Lektrick Pootie Box.

She says she hasta leeb at least Wun Bunny Pootie inna 'Lektrick Pootie Box to proove toda Catz dat Bunnies hab been inna Study, and that da Study is Bunny Terrytorry. And Terrytorry issa Very Important Ishuoo wif Bunnies. It's Our's, and therefore it is Important that nobunny makes enny kind of Mistake aboud'da Ownership, so we tend to leave pooties in Strateegik Places, or else mark da Boundaries ob Our Areas wif Scents ob Us.

It's a Bunny Fing.

So Missy leaves at least Wun Pootie inna Catz' 'Lektrick Pootie Box so dat they will know that Maman's Study is also Bunny Terrytorry.

The Trubble comes in dat MissyBun, being a Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns is heavy enuf to set off the 'Lektrick Pootie Box's Automatik Self-Cleaning Patrol, and her pootie can get accidentally scraped up and dumped innu da Con-veen-ient E-Zee-Cleen Containment Unit dat Maman just throws away innu da garbage when she cleans da Catz' pootie-boxes out.

Which is Distressin' to Missy onna'count obba Fakt dat she hasta keep puttin' bunny pooties innu da Catz 'Lektrick Pootie Box time-afta-time, because sumtimes, when Missy goes back to see that she has left a proper *Calling Card* forda Catz... Well... it's already Gone!

So dere is Consternation.

So ennyways, last nite, while Mr Mouse was out wif Maman habbin' a look at sum tellyvishion show called "CSI: Noo Yawk" because there was sum chick-lite innerview on where there *shuld* hab been Mouse's favourite telyvision show, "Law & Order", Mouse sed Dadda came Downnastairs innu da Sitting Room and axt Maman "Whut aboud'da two noo bunnies?"

And Mouse was, wike, "Whut 'noo bunnies'?" because dis wassa furst time he'd heard ennyfing aboud'da bunnies udder den da Three Ob Us who lib in Our Warren now dat Beebe-Bunny!! has gone on toda Rainbow Bridge to be wif Ms CloverBun anna udder bunnies.

So since he has no par'tick'ly fondness for "CSI: Noo Yawk", Mr Mouse listened rilly closely to Maman and Dadda.

And it seems dat dere are Two Bunnies who can't stay inna houz where they were Rescued, but who might need to come heer to Our Warren. Frum Whut Mouse Heard, they are Two Boyz, and they are not bonded. Wun issa loppy-eared guy anna udder might look a lot like Beebe, and Bof ob Dem are YoungBuns.

So Mouse is, wike, "Dis is Our Bun Room, and we will hab to make dem aware ob dat."

And Missy is, wike, "And I am da only Gurl heer, so dey hab to listen to me aboud'da 'Roolz ob Domestik Libbin'. Gurls Rool da Houz and dat's all dere is toit."

And Mr Mouse added, "And you know whut else I heard?"

And I'm, wike, "Whut?"

"Maman wishes dat dey were a bonded pair ob Inkwish Spot Bunnies!" And Mouse's eyes got rilly big as he added, "And so does Dadda!"

And Missy is wike, "You godda be kiddin' me. Dat wuld be wike habbin' a pair ob Belinda Bunnies!"

"Yeah." Said Mouse. "And Maman was telling Dadda aboud Ms Suzy's Harold who issa Boy-Inkwish Spot Bunny who hid in her car when she adopted Mr Brown, and rode alla way home wif her bifore she notised him, and den she hadda call uppa Rescue where she adopted Mr Brown frum and tell dem dat she hadn't stolen Harold, dat he had hijacked a ride wif her! And do you know whut Dadda said?"

And I was, wike, "Whut?"

And Mr Mouse continued, "Dadda sed dat Harold 'displayed typical Inkwish Spot behviour'! Dat when he saw dat Brown was being taken away by a strange lady, he said to himself, 'Oh no, dat's not on!' and snuck innu her car so dat he could go wif his friend, who only had wun eye, and continue to take care ob him. And Dadda sed Harold was 'Wun brave Inkwish Spot, typikle ob dat kinda bunny.'" And den Maman telled Dadda 'bout Ms Nikita Bun and Auntie Tina."

And MissyBun sed, "Oh, I alreddy know aboud'dat! Ms Nikita issa'nudder famous Inkwish Spot Bunny, like Belinda, and ebberybunny knows aboud'er Famous Igloo Story!"

And Mouse sed, "Well, I don't."

And Missy sed, "Den shaddup and listen, cos I know dis Part Obba Lore. Auntie Tina was cryin' because she was 'fraid dat her weddin' wasn't going to turn out to be just as she wanted - Maman says dat brides often cry ober stuff wike dat - and Ms Nikita was sittin' wif her whin it got to be along'round Bedtime, and Auntie Tina was still cryin'. So Ms Nikita, knowing dat it isn't safe to sleep out inna opin, wike inna middle obba room, and also knowing dat you don't leeb your Mawmie In Distress, wint downna Hallway, and got her Purple Igloo, and pushed it wif her nose allaway uppa Hallway, and innu da room where Auntie Tina was crying, until she got dat Igloo right upp'gainst Auntie Tina's foot. And den Ms Nikita Bun got innu da Purple Igloo and turned around sodat her hed was restin' on her Mawmie's foot, and went to sleep! And dat shows Troo Inkwish Spot Ingenuity and Deddykayshun!"

"And Maman and Dadda want to habba bonded pair ob'em?" I axt.

"Yeah." Sed Mr Mouse. "And dey know sumbun who hassa Sank-tuary wif lotsa homeless bunnies."

"And we gotta empty, smell-less habbytat." Added MissBun, wooking at me. "And it is big, just wike Our Habbbytat."

So I went ober to my Finking Spot and loafed up, and hadda small-white-bunny fink onna subject.

And dis is Whut I Thought:

Maman allus says dat whin God closes a door, He opins a Winder; Our Job is to find dat Winder and squeeze through. She also sed dat crossing ober da Rainbow Bridge is wike going through a Doorway.

So Beebe closed a door when he crossed da Rainbow Bridge, which opined up the Big Habbytat dat he shared wif CloverBun like a winder. And now here are dese Two homeless Boy Bunnies, trying to squeeze through dis winder, innu Our Warren, where it is Safe.

Only, most boy bunnies don't bond or even ged along wif each udder. Now ob course, we're not shure if these Two Boyz are rilly bof boyz - hoomins often make mistake on Dis Subjekt, so dat dey fink dey hab Two Boyz whin they can habba Boy anna Gurl or whutebber. Da Fing happinin' here issat dere are Two Bunnies in need. If dey can be bonded, dey can share da Big Habbytat and dat will be hokay, if Mr Mouse and MissyBun can 'stablish Who Owns Whut. And all.

So we will hab to see.

Because around here, You Just Nebber Know...

--------------------------- By George!

Posted by Our Warren at 10:45 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 23 May 2007
George's 5th Strand (2007); Day Number 23
Now Playing: Nothing is Simple...

So last nite, Maman and Mr Mouse watched da "Season Finale" ob da tellyvision show "Law & Order, SVU".

At the very End, Maman picked Mr Mouse up and complained, "How much trubble can wun station-load ob detectibs ged demselves innu atta same time?"

And Mr Mouse, whose Favourite Character appears on the Original "Law & Order" and is named "Executive ADA Jack McCoy" sed, "Beats me, but I'd fire alla dem onna spot and put dem all back as reg'lar detectibs on 'Law & Order' until dey lerned how to stay outta Trubble."

And den Maman and Dadda came out innu the Bun Room and we all had Salad Time.

And I figgered out dat I am the only member ob Our Warren who can read!

Yeah! 'Cept it all didn't go as smoothly as that. I mean, as usualy, there is a Whole Lot More To Fings than appears in two simple sentences - which is normal for Our Warren.

In udder werds, Nothing Is Simple.

I was sitting up here wif Maman atta 'puter and we were habbin' our morning look atta Noospapers togedder.

Now I hab to hextplain dat Maman issa Noos Junkie. She is Addicted to Noos da way udder people are addicted to drugs or sumfing. Maman hasta wake up inna morning to read Noospapers frumma'round da Werld onna WerldWideWeb.

Udderwise, she is grumpy.

Dadda says dat udder people hab to drink alcohol, or take pills, or else look out their windows to mind udder peoples' biznez for dem, or know alla gossip inna village, but dat Maman operates onna Global Scale by insisting on reading Da Daily Tellygraph, Da Guardian, Da Observer, Da Phillydelphia Inquirer, Da Times ob Trenton anna Noo Yawk Times, along wif Da Noo Yawk Daily Noos, anna Philadelphia Daily Noos anna Trentonian, wif glances atta Mirror anna Sun when the occasion demands. And her computer homepage is Google Noos!

So it's not wike ennybunny is going around here, unaware ob Current Events.

And she does alla dis reading while she is drinking her morning coffee, too, and while habbin me, George BunnyRabbit, on her lap while MissyBun wanders around inna Study, looking at Fings.

So this is how I learned that I can read - I can recognise werds onna 'puter screen and know Whut They Mean. This is called "reading" and it can't be done in Lagomorphin..

Now I mentioned Yestidday that Bunnies speak Lagomorphin. This is not a written language due to the Fakt that bunnies do not hab Opposable Thumbs in which to hold pens or pencils, and, until the invention obba keyboard, we had no use for writing ennyways. We live in Warrens and communykate through Lagomorphin, which contains a great deal ob body language and whut is called inflected speech that cannot be duplicated through written means.


When Bunnies became HouzBunnies, we discovered that we could use 'puters to effectively communykate withe each other over long distances by the use ob E-Lists, like Pet-Bunny and e-mail, but we hadda learn to type, using the keyboard, which was geared mainly for Hoomin-speak, primarily inna Inkwish Language.

So we did Whut Bunnies Do, which is Adapt.

We learned to type, using da keyboard and translated our throughts frum Lagomorphin innu a variety ob Inkwish dat we heard alla'round us. Belinda Bunny got inner'rested in dis Noo Form ob Communykayshun, and developed da Furst Web-site By Bunnies, For Bunnies, the RIFRAF Noos Site. Then she began This Blog, so that she could type her own 'Pinions and Thoughts. And she was the Furst Bunny to do this.

Then she went toda Rainbow Bridge and now I, George, am typing The Hay Diaries Bunny Blog.

So it was Yestidday that I discovered that I could read in actual Inkwish!

Dadda was inna Kitchin, boiling water to make a cuppa, and he came innu da Bun Room and opened the 'Frigerator. So MissyBun goes over toda side obba habbytat, raises up her ears and starts doing her Cute.

And Dadda says, "Give it up, Bug-a-Lugs, you're too early."

And he pulls somefing outta the 'Frigerator and there in big letters in typed on it, "M-I-L-K".

And MissyBun calls out to Dadda, "Hey! You! Whutaboudda Bunnies! Gimmie!"

And I sed to Missy, "You don't want dat."

And she says, "You wanna bet on dat? It's coming outta da 'Frigerator, so it's gotta be Baby Organic Carrots. Maman allus gives us Baby Organic Carrots when's she's got her hed stuck in dere. It's only when she's inna Udder Side, inna Freezer, dat we don't ged ennyfing."

And I sed, "It says onna side ob dat fing dat it's got milk in, and we don't want enny ob that stuff."

And Missy's, wike, "How do you know?"

"Onna'count obba Fakt dat it hassa sign onnit that says 'MILK' - m-i-l-k - right onna side obbit." I sed.

And MissyBun gasped and hextclaimed, "Hey! Waidaminit! You can read!"

And I thought for a momint (as I do) and den sed, "Mebbe. I dunno. We'll have to test it out. Let's see whut happins nextest."

So then, Dadda was back, poking his hed innu da 'Frigerator and he came out wiffa bag, and MissyBun sidled up to me wif her ears up and axts, "Whut's dat? Wooks wike Salad."

And I peered atta Werds onna bag and I culd make outta letters and they spelled outta werds, "Ice-berg" and I sed to MissyBun, "Well, It is sorta Salad, but we don't want enny."

And her ears went straight out frum her hed and she goes, "How can you say dat, George BunnyRabbit? If it's Salad, OB COURSE WE WANT IT!"

And off she goes, skurrying around da habbytat, periscoping and all, trying to get Dadda's 'Tension.

And Dadda looks at her and says, "You're outta luck, MissyBun. Your Mum says this stuff is no good for you."

And Missy is, wike, "WhhhhaaaAAAAAAAAA! Whuddayamean 'no good for me'? It's SALAD! It's GOOD for me!"

And Dadda put da bag away inna 'Frigerator and shut da door.

"You'll just have to wait for your Mum to give you your Romaine Plate." he sed and left da Bun Room. "It won't be long."

And Missy picked up her red-and-yellow toss-toy and heaved it my head.

"Whut is going on heer!" She demanded, assa toy bounced offa side obba habbytat and rolled back towards her. "Whut are you doing, George? Whut's dis 'READING' fing you gots goin' on?"

Anna toss-toy bumped her inna paw, so she piked it up again in her teefs and bounced it offa side obba habbytat. Dis time, it ended up inna Wadder Crock, and sprayed wadder all down da frunt ob me.

So I hadda sit down and groom, onna'count obba Fakt dat I was cubbered in wadder. And Missy was 'nnoyed enough dat she was finding strands of hay to pik up and toss up inna air.

And I'm, wike, "Lookit, 'reading' is seeing werds in Inkwish and knowing whut they mean. Like whut it sed on dat bag. It sed 'Ice-berg Class-Ic Salad' which means that it is Iceberg Lettuce which is No Good for bunnies onna'count obba Fakt that it has NO nutrients or whutebber innit. Maman told us aboudd'it. It's all 'empty' she sed, which is why she won't gib it to us in our salads. It's why we get Romaine and Red, Bib and Green Leaf Lettuce instead"

(And I'm telling her this between licks, cleaning up my fur!)

But this hetxplaination isn't good enuf for MissyBun.

"And you're tellin' me you 'read' alla 'dat' onna bag ob Salad? Dat sumhow dat bag ob Salad was 'no good' when I culd smell dat it was Salad, which is by deffynishun, 'Good-for-bunnies'! Whutdaheck issa matter wif you? We could hab had TWO Salads t'night, hextcept you messed it up by 'reading'!"

And I'm, wike, "Two Salads? How do you werk dat wun out?"

And Missy is, wike, "Dat wun frum Dadda anna reg'lar wun frum Maman ekwells TWO SALADS, George BunnyRabbit! Can't you count? I almost had Dadda convinced wif my Cute to gib us sum ob Whut He Had! Dat is, until you went and 'read' whut was onna bag!"

And I'm sitting dere, grooming my paw, and telling her it's not *my* fault whut it said onna stoopit bag, and here comes Maman, followed by da Dawg and Dadda, carrying Mr Mouse, all traipsing out innu da Bun Room. And Maman opins da Door Toda Back Gardin and tells da Dawg to go Out On Patrol. Den she opins uppa habbytat and starts to pet MissyBun.

And Missy sort ob flops down, all grouchy and Maman (who is clueless) goes, "There's my sweetie-bunny!"

And Missy is, wike, "Gimmie my salad."

And Maman is, wike, "Wookit da widgie-cheeks onna Sweetie-bunny-gurl!"

And Missy is, wike, "Gimmie my salad!"

And Maman is, wike, "Woogie-woogie-woogie cheeky bunny-gurl!"

Amd Missy is just lying there wif her ears down and her nose going up-and-down, up-and-down, up-and-down and her eyes are half-closed - however I can see she's glaring - and as soon as Maman pulls her hand out, MissyBun bounces up inna-air, puts her paws onna top obba habbytat door, sticks her hed out,  and demands,

"Gimmie my salad, wommin!"

And Mr Mouse, who had just gone back inside ob his habbytat frum watching "Law & Order" inna Sitting Room, pokes his nose up and axts, "Whut's up wif you, Missy?"

And MissyBun shouts, "It's George! He can read! And he messed up our chances ob gettin' TWO Salads! TWO! Can you beeleeb it? And all because George can read!"

So, you know whut? The nextest time I learn to do sumfing, I fink I'm going to keep it to myself...

-------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:00 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 22 May 2007
George's 5th Strand (2007); Day Number 22
Now Playing: Da Hextploitashun ob Catz and Free Speech!

Well, if this doesn't just beat all.


Just habba look. Open uppa'nudder browser window and go to (a new magazine from da Washington Post Noospaper) and rite dere onna banner you will see a pikchur obba cat! Anna werds, "Kitty Power"!

Den follow da link to dis page,  and view da slide show.

It is disgustin', lemme tell you!

I mean, I am all for ebbery species habbin' a voice ob it's own onna WerldWideWeb, and for ebbery species habbin' a Right to voice dere own 'pinions and hold dere own Beliefs - BUT...

Dis shure wooks wike Hextploitashun to me - dis time, involving Catz!

Now ebberybunny knows dat Our Warren is infected wif Catz. In fakt, we hab Two - Cokie-da-Fat-Maine-Coon-Cat and Beep-da-Udder-Cat. Mostly, dey just torment da Dawg and fink dey own da place. Occasionally, MissyBun pulls out summa dere fur to lett'em know Who Is Rilly Boss, but aside frum dat, dey do berry liddle aside frum haunt various sunbeams. Dey seem to hab a single brain-cell dat dey cycle amongst each udder and sumtimes rent out toda Dawg.

Dadda refers to Cokie assa "Furry Speed-bump" and "Two Furry Slippers anna Tennis Racket" when he is not calling him Names Not Fit For Publication, and he calls Beep, "Madame". Bof ob da Catz are 'Dopted, just wike ebberybunny else in Our Warren. Maman swears dat she is 'Lergic to Catz because petting dem makes her hands itch, but it doesn't matter because she werries 'bout dem just wike she werries 'bout ebberybunny else (Werrying is Whut Maman Does, and she says she is Berry Good Atit, having done it for Most ob Her Life.).

But back to dis Artykul in Slate...

It is hextploitive because it is not By Catz, About Catz, For Catz - it is By Hoomins, Featchuring Pikchurs ob Catz forda Amusemint ob Udder Hoomins!

In udder werd, dis is Kitty-porn. 


Da hoomins who created da web-pages menshuned inna Artykul by Slate seem to find it funny to post Un-Diggyfied pikchurs ob Catz and den gib does pikchurs Humerous Captions, and post dem onna Innernet for ebberybunny to laff at.

Now ebberybunny knows dat laffin' at sumbunny is Not Nice. It is mean! Laffin' wif sumbunny is hokay, but not laffin' att'em. Laffin' att'em only makes da wuns bein' laffed at feel badly. And dat is Not Rite.

And dere are hoomins who ebben pretend to hab created a language for des poor kitties, as though the kitties demselves hab created it inna immytation ob hoomin-speak! As if kitties do not habba language ob dere own!

Now I realise dat dere are sum hoomins who fink dat bunnies type as we do because we are immytating hoomin-speak.

Dis is NOT TROO.

We bunnies speak in Lagomorphin, and when we type, we are typin' in translation - translating our thoughts frum Lagomorphin innu Inkwish and den typin' dat Inkwish as we hear it. It's not wike we hab receibed enny formal training inna spelling obba Inkwish Language - we habbin't. We are typin' Whut We Hear, da way dat It Sounds To Us, and How We Would Say It if we would speak Inkwish ourselves - but we don't speak Inkwish or habba need to speak Inkwish, because we hab our own language that is called Lagomorphin.  

Got dat? Good. 

Belinda Bunny ob Our Warren was wunna Da Furst Bunny to ebber ebben Try to communykate wif hoomins in dere own Language - which was why she 'stablished dis blog back in 2004. She was amongst da Furst Bunnies to try to gib a Voice To Da Voiceless, by bringing written language to bunnies, and bridging da communykashuns gap between wun species anna'nudder.

But whut hextposes in dere Artykul is no less den da Hextploitashun ob Cat-Cute By Hoomins!

If des websites dat are hetposed by Slate were By Catz, For Catz, den dey wuld be hokay, but as dey are, dey hextist as liddle more den kitty-porn - da gratuiteous viewing ob Cat-Cute for da Gratifykayshun ob Hoomins.

And it shuld be stopped.

Dere are menny species inna werld. Menny ob dem are Cute. But alla species exist for demselves, as sep'rate and splendid Creations byda Architect obba Universe, not created forda hextclusive benefit obba egocentric hoominkind!

  • Hoomins do NOT okkypye da top of enny kinda intellectual or moral food chain merely because they hab lerned to create ever bigger and better tools to manipulate and coerce their environment.
  • Menny udder species hab lerned How Not to manipulate and coerce their environment, but to successfully inhabit and co-exist with their environment, adapting in unique ways to compliment and preserve their environment.
You see Whut I Mean? Hoomins are just not alla dat anna bag ob chips.

Dis takin' away da diggity ob Catz forda Amusemint ob Hoomins is only a foreshadowing ob Fings To Come, I fink. It was good ob Slate to point dis out, sodat ebberybunny can see it.

Now if Catz want to opin dere own web-site and post dere Own Thoughts, dat's fine. Ebbery species shuld hab a Voice ob It's Own.

Wunce dere were sum Very Brave Hoomins who wrote dat Ebberybun was created Equal, and dat ebberybun was entitled to habba Voice ob Dere Own. Dees hoomins, like Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Sir Thomas Stamford Raffles, Rudyard Kipling, anna Marquis de LaFayette, were all Right - Free Speech issa Valuable Fing dat must be protected in order to survive.

And sumbunny must allus be reddy to speak up for:

  • Freedom ob Speech and 
  • Freedom frum Gross Indiggities by Hoomins-Who-Would-Be-Kings
  • And Against Those Who Wrongly Use Their Powers to censor others for Speaking Their Minds
Ebben Small White Bunnies who lib in comfortyable habbytats in Our Warren!

---------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:47 AM EDT
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Monday, 14 May 2007
George's 5th Strand (2007); Day Number 14
Now Playing: Mawmies' Day

Well, wif Yestidday being Mawmies' Day, we heer at Our Warren hadda Nice Day!


Furst ob All, dere was Us (minus Beebe-Bunny!! which was so sad. Maman is still crying sumtimes whin she enters da BunRoom and he is not heer. Dadda is moobin' Alla Us Togedder around, sodat We are Near-toda-Back-Door (where we allus are) and den Mr Mouse will be where Beebe libbed. Mr Mouse is not shure ob dis Arrangemint, onna'count obba Fakt datta Dawg swipes him wif his tail whin he comes in frum Goin' On Patrol. Ob course, da Dawg allus has swiped Mr Mouse wif his tail whin he comes in frum Goin' On Patrol, but it was just onna Udder Side, and Mr Mouse issn't shure if he likes bein' swiped onna'nudder side. Change issa funny fing most Bunnies don't wike.).

We asked Maman fora Baby Organic Carrot or sumfing when she came innu da Bun Room, so she wuld habba Furst Chance to see Our Cute, but she sed she didn't hab enny, so she gabe us each a bite obba "Triscuit" instead. But I don't wike Triscuits, so I let MissyBun hab my bite, which she, ob course, ate.

So den, Phil-da-Lad stopped by in his car and sed, "Hoppy Mawmies' Day! Can't stop, goin' toda Air Show, so how'bout we go out whin dere is no Air Show?"

And Maman sed, "You gots munny for food?"

And Phil sed he prob'ly did, and Maman sed "Prob'ly" wassn't Good Enough and gabe him sum, along wif a widdle package ob headache pills, sneezing pills and upset-tummy pills. He sed he had his anti-bee-sting-stuff, but "Fank You" and he wuld keep dis udder stuff in his car, Just In Case. Which wassa Right Fing to say onna'count obba Fakt Maman is Big on "Just-in-Case". 

Phil has lerned a LOT now dat he is suddinly Growed Up and become 'Tellygint, lemme tell you!

So off he wint.

Maman sed onnly a Noo-kleer strike was gonna keep him away frumma Air Show, ebben if dis wassn't Willow's-Grove. 'Parently, Willow's-Grove wassa Bestest Air Show Inna Whole Werld, till they didn't hab it enny more. Which is kinda sad. I thought it was nice that they had named a "Naval Air Station" afta Belinda' Bunny's Bestest Friend and Furst Bondmate, Willow. There can't be too menny Naval Air Stations named afta Bunnies.

Mebbe they will name da Noo Naval Air Station they are gonna build down near da Hare-Force's McGuire Field afta Our Friend, Cricket. That wuld be a Rilly Nice fing to do. She left forda Rainbow Bridge atta same time as Beebe-Bunny!! and it would be a nice fing forda Navy to name a Naval Air Station afta Our Friend, Cricket and Beebe since they hab closed Willow's Grove now. It culd be "Cricket-Beebe Naval Air Station" and they culd invite da Bloo Angels and habba Air Show there ebbery year, and they culd eddykate people aboudda Navy and about habbin HouseRabbits - atta Same Time!

It has possybillaties. Mebbe I shuld type a letter to dat Rush Holt guy (ebben though we like dat Chris Smith guy bedda) and gib him a kloo. Da Gubbermint is allus axtin' for More Munny, but they don't do it inna Rite Way. They demand and stuff. Now if they wuld promote HouseRabbits, den they wuld hab sum Cute to gib back to peoples in hextchange for munny, and dat wuld werk. But da Gubbermint has no Cute.

So ennyways, we are berry sad aboud Cricket Hardy and Beebe bof goin' toda Rainbow Bridge, but we feel comforted dat dey went Togedder. Now Beebe is back wif Ms CloverBun, and he will let Stuffie innerduce Cricket to Belinda Bunny and she will innerduce Cricket to ebberybunny else who is alreddy atta Rainbow Bridge.

Dere is no sadness where dere are Friends.

I just feel kinda sorry for Us Who Gets Left Behind. It's geddin' harder and harder for Maman to be Left Behind wif more rabbit-shaped holes in her heart.

So den, alla suddin, Sistah Beffy and Annastasia arrive!


But Sistah Beffy is sneezing like Mad onna'count obba Fakt dat she has brought a Very Preddy Red Flower-inna-pot for Maman to plant inna Memorial Gardin!

And flowers, no madder whut colour make Sistah Beffy sneeze.

And Annya has reached da age ob Sleepin' Inna Car. Maman hextplained dat it is sorta Automatic-in-babies - you wanta baby to go to sleep? - just put it inna car and drive around da block. No matter whut: as soon assa car goes innu gear, da baby goes to sleep. Sumtimes da car doesn't ebben hab to leeb da dribway. Just put it innu gear anna baby falls asleep. Maman says it werks wike Magic.

And shure enough, Annya was Sound Asleep. And Maman has dis Rool: Do Not Wake Up Babies! Nebber! "Let sleepin' babies, lie!" Maman says, and she's preddy inflexible 'bout it. You wake uppa Sleepin' Baby and she geds preddy cross wif you. Ebben da Dawg will get sent to sit onna Back Porch if he wakes uppa baby! So ebberybun inna Houz hasta walk around on tippy-toes onna'count obba Fakt Annya issa'sleep. Becos bein' da wun who Wakes Up dat Baby is gonna regret it, lemme tell you!

And Maman gabe Sistah Beffy sum noo shoos anna card dat she and Annya had made Togedder (mainly onna'count obba Fakt dat Annya is too young to know 'boutta 'puter).

And ebberybunny sed, "Hoppy Mawmies' Day!" to each udder.

You know, whin I Furst came heer, I wassa Small Bunny, a widdle wike Annya, only bigger. But I didn't habba Mawmie. I thought mebbe Belinda Bunny might be my Mawmie onna'count obba Fakt dat she was black-and-white, and I was white, and she was Big and I was Small, and she let me lie uppa'gainst her whin I was cold and skert.

But she sed, "No. I am not your Mawmie."

And then I thought mebbe me,Hunny was my Mawmie onna'count obba Fakt dat he let me lie nextest to him in his habbytat and he telled me alla'bout Da Lore.

But he sed, "No, I am not your Mawmie onna'count obba Fakt dat I am also a boy-bunny."

So I was, wike, "Who is my mawmie? I hab to hab wun. I sorta bemember dat I had wun sumwheres along da line, so where is she now?"

And so I axted MissyBun and she just wooked at me and sed, "No. I sed 'No.' You hear dat? No!"

So dat was preddy much, dat.

And den I figgered dat my mawmie hadda be Maman, ebben if she was hoomin-shaped, and not bunny-shaped at all, becos Maman cared for me alla time, and I discubbered dat I cared for her. She wassa Wun Person Who Picked Up da Liddle White Bunny who was OnAlone inside obba cardboard box left atta vet's!

So I guess your mawmie issa mawmie dat takes care ob you, whedder she wooks wike you, or issa rite age to be your mawmie or not, or whutebber. If she happins to be rewated to you, dis is good, but she doesn't hab to be - she just hasta be da person who cares aboud you, and who you care aboud.

And you don't need a Speshul Day to be nice to her. Be nice alla time. Share your Cute wif her ebben if you don't wike da Triscuits dat she has on offer, becos, afta all, she is sharin' dem wif you.

And if you gedda chance, take her to see da Bloo Angels atta Air Show atta Naval Air Station or Hare-Force Base nextest to you! Dey fly closest to Heaven, Maman says, and ennyways, no madder iffa gubbermint has no Cute, we heer at Our Warren, Support Our All Young Men and Women Servin' inna millytary

Wike Phil sed, "Ooo-rah, Bunnies! Go Navy, go!" !

-------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 7:04 AM EDT
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Friday, 11 May 2007
George's 5th Strand, Day Number 11
Now Playing: Sad Stuff
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

How does Wun Small Bunny type dis?

I dunno, but heer goes.

Beebe-Bunny has gone to find his CloverBun atta Rainbow Bridge. He is leebin' at five o'clock dis evening, and Maman and Dadda are going along with Dr. Sharin to tell him dat we love him, and dat he is allus a part ob Our Warren, and dat it's hokay if he hasta go, dat dey unnerstan.

But I don't.

Not rilly.

And I dunno whut else to say.

---------------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 4:36 PM EDT
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Tuesday, 1 May 2007
George's 5th Strand; Day Number 1
Now Playing: Messed Up!
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

Dis will be a quick entry, just to let you know I am alive. *little white bunny sigh*

Fings heer are Rilly Messed Up!

I don't unnerstand most ob Whut's Going On, 'cept dat Maman is Berry Upset, and Sistah Beffy and Annastasia are heer.Well, Annastasia has been heer since da middul ob Saddurday nite whin Maman and Dadda suddinly bringed her to Our Warren. Dey wint to bed, denna tellyphone ringed, and Maman grabbed her chaplains fings and she and Dadda headed out Innu da Nite, lebbin Da Dawg "On Guard".

Afta awhile, they came back wif Annastasia wrapped in blankets and Maman all Upset.

So Dadda slept wearing his clothes and Maman put Annastasia inna Bedroom, anna Dawg went out inna Back Gardin On Patrol. He came back in and sed datta Ducks who were dere were asleep and dere was Nuffin Goin' On.

So Alla Us Togedder went Back To Sleep.

Den early inna morning da Telyphone ringed and Dadda went off again and bringed back Sistah Beffy, who was all berry tired, so Maman put her to sleep onna settee inna Sitting Room.

And Annastasia has come in wif Maman to feed us carrots. Maman called Mr Mouse a "piggie" onna'count obba Fakt dat he grabbed a carrot out ob Anna's hand and runned off wiffit. Dis is because Mr Mouse issa member ob Little Ashy's "Runs Wif Loot" Club for Bunnies! 

Our Friend and Cousin, Little Ashy Tyler, Dandelion King ob Callyfornia, issa Pressydeint ob LOTS ob Bunny Clubs onna PetBunny e-List. Dere are over 100 clubs in all, and each wun ob Alla Us Togedder issa Member ob at least wunna Ashy's Clubs. Da most important obba Clubs (I feel) issa "7-Up Club" for bunnies who are ober seven years old. Ebbery Sernior Bun on PetBunny issa member ob dis Club, so Beebe-Bunny, who is Ten Years-old issa member!

But back to Whut's Going On at Our Warren...

We bunnies don't rilly know. Da Dawg, who is our Reg'lar Source ob Informashun doesn't know, either, hext'cept dat he is werried about Who Shuld Be Guarded and Who Shuld Be Herded. It is part ob his Job assa Border Collie to know, and he is Unshure.

Did I menshun dat Phil has been heer alot, too? He has and he and Maman hab had sum long Talks. Beebe says it is strange to bemember dat Phil wassa Lad bifore, and now da same as Maman and Dadda.

MissyBun said dat mebbe Tomorrow we shuld sing Da Bum Song to welcome Spring to Our Warren. It has been preddy warm forda Past Fedw Days. Mebbe we shuld teach Da Bim Song to Anna.

I will habba fink aboud alla dis. Dere issa whole wot for for Wun Small White Bunny to fink aboud, lemme tell you!

------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:02 AM EDT
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Saturday, 21 April 2007
George's 4th Strand (2007); Day Number 21
Now Playing: We Are a Warren!
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, there issa'nudder entry dat goes in dis "Hay Diaries" Blog bifore dis wun, but since Tripod is gibbin' dis "Small NZ" rabbit a hard time about postin' it, I'm putting it aside for anudder time when Maman and I hab more Patience. Onna'count obba Fakt dat ebben Togedder, she and I don't habba'lotta Patience atta best ob times, and dis isn't whut you'd call "Da Best Ob Times". (Maman is still sik...) It's not "Da Werst Ob Times," eidder. It's just wunna *those* times when Patience is sumfing Maman *is* rather than sumfing she hassa'lot ob...

Ennyways, since she and I are Uppystairs heer Togedder inna Study, and we BOF hab Thoughts, we hadda Fink aboud Who was gonna ged to Type. And...Since dis is MY Blog, I winned.


Well, I don't bemember dis direktly, but MissyBun told me onna'count obba Fakt dat she bemembers because she was heer, at Our Warren then, although she was just a YoungBun atta time, habbin' preddy much just arrived heer at Our Warren frum Unkul Michael's in Noo Yawk.

Missy sed dat Maman and Phil-the-Lad had just taken part inna Famous Tommy BunTucker Bunderground, moving Tommy BunTucker frum his old home SumWheres in Bis-Con-Sin to his Noo Forebber Home in Noo Yawk State. Maman and Phil had volunteered to drive Tommy in his liddle carrier frumma Pencilvainya/Maryland state line to the Pencilvainya town ob Scranton where he was picked up by Auntie Laura Garner to be taken to Auntie Laura Tucker and his Forebber Home.

And onnaway back frum driving Tommy BunTucker, Maman and Phil stopped atta Burger King onna Turnpike anna Pressydent obba United States said, "We are at war."

And dis made Maman afraid. MissyBun sed datta day bifore da Bunderground there had been September 11th, and the skies ober Our Warren had suddenly got silent, except forda huge fighter-jet-planes screaming over-head along da River.

Missy sed dat Maman spent a lotta time inna BunRoom dat day holding on tight to me,Hunny wif her face in his fur and he was confoozled and skert onna'cout obba Fakt dat none obba bunnies knew Whut Was Happining. Ebben Belinda couldn't ged Maman to look up. not until Dadda came home a long time later. This is onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman prides herself on not crying - so only da bunnies saw, and we nebber tell.

Ennyways, right afta da Bunderground, Phil-the-Lad went sumwheres toda Navy Recruiter. And dere wassa whole lotta fuss and bother, Missy sed, wif Maman gibbin da recruiter piano lessons so he culd play a song to impress his noo wife (and it was Sistah Beffy's brudder-in-law, Jeff, as it turns out!) and alla dat. And Maman made Christmas come a week early so dat Phil culd hab Christmas at Home bifore he left for Illynoy anna Great Lakes Naval Training Centre.

And Phil was all hextcited. He was going innu da Navy to fight for Freedom and for 'Murrica, and for Bunnies to be HouzRabbits ebberywheres.

And then the Day Bifore Christmas came and Jeff anna udder recruiters came and Phil left wif dem inna car. And Maman watched dat car pull away, and watched as it drove alla way downna street.

And then Maman closed da Big Frunt Door, and went innu da BunRoom, Missy sed, and then she opined alla habbytat doors and sat down onna floor wif alla bunnies in Our Warren and curled up inna widdle ball and cried her eyes out. And me,Hunny stood ober her wif Belinda, and although nobun knew Whut Wassa Matta. they all stood ober Maman and nosebonked her. Because Maman nebber cries.

Now dat was den, and dat was Private. And MissyBun says dat Mawmies crying for dere children is normal. All Mawmies cry, ebben if, wike Maman, they don't admit it.

But whut I don't unnerstand is alla Fuss dat is made now when a Person leebs for da Military or comes home on whut they call "Leave" or who just comes home. There are tellyvision cameras there and people wif big signs and ribbons and flowers and tables wif punch and cookies. And big parties wiffa'lotta "Welcome Homes" and people crying out loud.

And dis is all nice, and as it should be - forda Family and forda Mawmies, but why are there tellyvision cameras? Why is dis suddenly Noos forda Werld?

Can anyone of these hoomins bemember sumbun who came home frum VietNam, and who was booed and spit on? Can ennybun bemember sumbun who came home frum Korea and was ignored? Whut is dis sudden rush to shub a tellyvision camera inna face obba military person, not to say "Fank You for serving", but just to say, "Wookit, you're alive!"

Alla these people volunteered to serve. They read da fine print and they still signed their names onna line. They knew that they might get sent to sumplace dat was all desert, or dat dey might hab to float around inna Arabian Sea, but they raised their hands and swore they'd do it. Dey knew dat they wuld prob'ly ged a good eddykayshun, wike Phil got frum Drexel, but dat dey also culd get killed.

Dey are ALL good young people who are out dere serving voluntarily! Not one ob dem was forced to go; nobun shubbed a gun innu dere hands and den tossed dem outta a hareplane over a jungle. If dis was wike dat, den maybe dat Sheehan woman wuld hab a case for her terrible behaviour, but as it is, whut she is doing is just sad. Her son knew whut he was doing, just wike Our Phil. She needs help - she needs her warren to help her get the kind of help she needs. Whut She Doesn't Need is alla tellyvision cameras, anna reporters, anna media people who are exploiting her shattered emotions to make their copy. 

And alla dees boys and gurls are wike Our Phil, only now Our Phil issa Veteran and nobun cares about him, or about his knee wif 40 degrees ob lateral motion. But dat's hokay, becos Phil has Our Warren.

Nobun came to take pikchurs ob Maman when she closed da Big Frunt Door and went and curled up onna BunRoom floor to cry alone - and she wuldn't hab wanted dat. Why does ebberybunny assume dat it is Right and Proper to intrude on ebberybun? Nobun "shares" tears. Your tears are your own and your Warren's fur soaks them up. And your Warren pokes their noses close to yours to let you know that they're right there with you. Nobun else is with you - ebben if they try and pretend to be - only your Warren cares for you, just as you care for your Warren.

Because ebben wif tellyvision cameras alla'round, and photojournalists shubbing microphones in your face, and alla tape recorders runnng to catch a sound byte - ebben wif alla dat, you are OnAlone. Because Those Are Not Your Warren. Those things will all go away. The lights will turn off, the flowers will fade, the memorials will wash away in the rain. All of that public out-pouring of grief is nothing, and will come to nothing because it is not felt. It is not a warm nose that cares about you and about whom you care when alla lights have gone out and the Big Frunt Door finally closes.

Our Dadda came frumma Military family, too. Sumtimes he didn't see his Dadda for years atta time; sumtimes he went wif his Dadda to strange places and sumtimes he got shot at assa widdle boy in strange places wif his Dadda. He was taught not to make a fuss, dat dis was part ob being "military" - dat dis was whut made him dif'frunt frum udder kidlets. His Dadda was keeping Inkland safe and Our Dadda was proud ob dat. And just wike his Dadda, Our Dadda hadda job, too, and his job was to be strong, and not to lose his head and start screaming when he saw his Dadda. His job, ebben assa berry widdle boy, was to stand fast and straight and as tall as he was able and not scream or cry or act wike a baby. He was military and Our Dadda grew up to be independant and self-reliant - which is why dere is nuffin' dat he can't handle!

So when fings happin in Our Warren, Maman and Dadda face dem Togedder. Maman stands in frunt ob Dadda, and Dadda stands wif his hands on her shoulders. Dere issa pikchur ob dem togedder wike dis, and inna background, if you look rilly hard, you can see Phil-the-Lad, and Sistah Beffy wif Annastasia over her shoulder, and you can see Marc-the-Border-Collie, wif Cokie-da-Fat-Cat and Beep-da-Udder-Cat and den Alla Us Togedder inna background. We are, Togedder, whut makes Our Warren.

And if you look ebben harder innu da background, you can see Maman's Bim, and Dadda's Dadda, and me,Hunny and Belinda anna Ancient Dawg, and Maman's Granny and alla udder Ones Whos Went Bifore, stretching back innu Time - because alla dees are also Part Obba Warren. We are not only Ourselves as we are now, but we are also The Lore.

But Whut We Are Not is tellyvision cameras and "national mourning" and habbin' grief councillors to tell us how we are supposed to feel about stuff. We don't hab da "media" to gib us direkshuns about how to act or how to unnerstand whut touches us. We do Whut Seems Right and we do it Wif Each Udder

And we care aboud each udder and each udder cares for us - And THIS is libbin' inna Warren. It's Whut We Do.

------------------------------- By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 9:17 AM EDT
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Sunday, 15 April 2007
George's 4th Strand (2007); Day Number 15
Now Playing: Da Catastrophe Curve
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

Oh dear! Fings hab gotten entirely outta paw around heer at Our Warren!


For starters, BOF Maman and Our Dadda are sik.


And dat's why we're heer operating just onna bare fringes atta thin edge obba Catastrophe Curve.

Which issa very skerry place to be if you don't know whut you're doing. But Fankfully, Alla Us Togedder are preddy used to da Catastrophe Curve and know how to ride wun, but it's NO place for ammytures, lemme tell you!

Hab you ebber herd obba Catastrophe Curve? It's a phenomenon in Physicks where alla ellymints for disaster builds up, inna huge wave-like curve; where alla possybul fings dat could go wrong all begin to add up innu dis huge, heaving wave - just like a wave onna ocean -  and just out aheadd ob dat wave, where ebberyfing dat could possibly go wrong, sumhow, just doesn't. And dat, right dere just ahead ob dat wave, dat's where Our Warren operates - just ahead ob where da Catastrophe Curve crashes out onna graph.

It's wike dis:

Maman gets sik. She's gotta bad fever, and her head is all goofed up, and she is busy staggaring back and forf frumma Sitting Room toda Bafroom toda Bedroom. Anna Dawg is busy herding Concerned Catz away frum her. So she sorta finds herself inna Bafroom, head down ober da toilet fing, wif da Dawg on one side ob her saying,

"You got Catz nextest to you!"

And onna udderside, she hassa Concerned Cat-face staring at her saying,

"Why are you frowing alla dat stuff downna toilet?"

And ebberywhere she goes, dere issa parade of furry four-foots travelling in her wake - da Catz being converned dat dey will miss sumfing anna Dawg doing his best to herd dem sumwheres, anywheres onna'count obba Fakt it's his Job.

So Maman comes out innu da BunRoom and axts us,

"Whut are You Buggers wookin' at?"

And we're wike, "Since you're by da Frigerator, we'll hab a widdle sumfing. Fanks."

And because she is sik, and not "firing on all eight sillenders" (as she says), she gibs us all carrots, which is preddy good.

So den, she stumbles out innu da Kitchen and says, "Dadda is sik."

And we're like, "Uh oh." 

And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat wooks around and says, "I will go and sit wif him."

And heer is where da Catastrophe Curve begins to come innu play.

Cokie-da-Fat-Cat goes off towards da Bedroom, and right away, Beep-da-Udder-Cat is wike,

"Oh no you don't! If ennybun is gonna sit wif Dadda onna bed, it is going to be Me!"

Anna Dawg is wike, "Hey! No Catz inna Bedroom!"

And Cokie is wike, "So who made up 'dat' Rool, Dawg?"

Anna Dawg is wike, "Maman and Dadda BOF sed, 'No Catz onna bed.' Which is why you guys hab to sleep Uppystairs inna 'Partmint at nite and not down heer wif da Bunnies and me."

And Cokie sorta flipped his tail atta Dawg and kept on shambling downna Hallway and turned innu da Bedroom.

Well, da Dawg didn't like being flipped off byda Cat, so he jumped ober da Cat inna doorway, and cut him off just as Cokie was about to jump up onna bed where Dadda was sleeping. Sort ob. 

Because Dadda was awake enough to wook down atta Dawg and Cokie, and Beep-da-Udder-Cat (who had managed to ged innu da doorway) and say, "The lot of you can piss off."

And frumma Kitchen where she was trying hard to concentrate (onna'count obba Fakt dat her brain wasn't werking right because she was still sik) on making Dadda a cup ob tea, Maman calls innu Dadda,

"Is sumfing wrong, dear?"

And Dadda calls back, "Dere is nuffing wrong, sweedhart. Just the Catz anna Dawg."

So Maman, finking she wuld be helpful, calls da Dawg.

Soda Dawg doesn't know whut to do. He's busy doing Wun Job, which is herding Cats Outta da Bedroom, where dey Might be Planning to Ged Onna Bed - and now Maman is calling him, which is anudder ob his Jobs - answering her.

So he comes zooming out innu da Kitchen to see whut's up wif her.

And, ob course, as soon assa Dawg is outta da Bedroom, in go da Catz.

Anna Dawg hears dem, so he makes a flying dash to get outta da Kitchen, but he's right by Maman, who doesn't see him, and they sort ob collide atta rubbish bin.

And Alla Is Togedder are looking in frumma BunRoom, and so we're watching as Maman anna Dawg go staggering around da Kitchin, wiffa Dawg's toenails wooking for purchase onna linnollyum, and Maman wooking for balance onna'count obba Fakt dat she doesn't hab enny ob her own.

So Maman yells, "Darn Dawg!"

And Dadda sort ob wakes up and calls out, "Whuttsamatta, sweedhart?"

Which is when he notices dat he hassa Cat on his hed.

And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is purring, "I'm sitting wif you because you are sik." 

And Dadda yells, "Dere's a Cat on me!"

And Cokie is sorta wike wrapped around Dadda's hed wif his claws not hextactly out, but sort of gently grasping, wike his claws *could* come out and rilly hang on tight, if he wanted them to. And he's purring like a motorboat, telling Dadda how lucky he is, because Cokie *could* be lying ennywheres onna whole bed, but he has chosen to lie on Dadda's pillow, as close to Dadda assa loving cat can get. 

And alla sudden, Maman anna Dawg get untangled inna Kitchen, anna Dawg is pounding fru da Dining Room onna way towards da Bedroom, ears flapping, worried Collie-face on, growling, "I'm coming to save you, Dadda!"

And at That Moment, we hear Dadda yell, "Gerroffa me before I make you into two tennis rackets and a pair of furry slippers!"

And dere issa sound ob 40 pounds ob Screaming Airborne Cat.

And as Cokie hits da floor, da Dawg is dere is to meet him.

So Beep-da-Udder-Cat shoots outta Bedroom and makes a hard right-hand turn innu da Sitting Room. Cokie shoots outta da Bedroom and makes a hard left, heading for da Dining Room. Da Dawg comes flying out last, hesitates inna doorway onna'count obba Fakt he has to make decision about which direction to head, and dat's where Dadda runs innu his furry back-side.

And Dadda yells, "One way or da udder! Darned Dawg!"

And Maman is coming downna Hallway wif wunna does big cups of tea for Dadda, and she's watching da tea she's carrying, and NOT watching where she is going.

So just-in-time, Dadda grabs da cuppa tea, da Dawg zooms past Maman, scrabbles onnna Dining Room rug to make the hard left-hand turn innu da Living Room and you can hear him and Cokie-da-Fat-Cat thundering their way Uppystairs.

And then there is silence.

And Maman comes back innu da Kitchin wif Dadda following her and she's kinda unsteady wif her walking, and holding on to fings wike tables anna walls and stuff. And she and Dadda come out innu BunRoom and they sort ob pause and wook at Alla Us Togedder.

And Dadda says, "Whut are You Buggers looking at?"

And we're wike, "Well, since you axted, a carrot wouldn't go amiss..."

And dat's da Catastrophe Curve. And we're still just out heer ahead obbit.

------------------------------------- By George  .

Posted by Our Warren at 6:43 PM EDT
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Monday, 2 April 2007
George's 4th Strand (2007); Day Number 2
Now Playing: So Ennyways...
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

So heer I was, messing around in Maman's Study inna Evening (which I don't normally do, but, well, since Spring is late, there's not a Whole Lot Else going on), but...


And I hadda wook atta Natshunal Wedder Service wif Maman, onna'count obba Fakt dat Tidday turned out to be a Preddy Nice Day afta getting off to a Typical Noo Joisey start - cold, foggy, and kinda stinky onna'count obba Fakt there are guys outside putting down Noo Road. And, ob course, wif there being Strange Guys Outside, Da Dawg was Preddy Upset, whut wif them being right nextest to his property and all, and him habbin to tell Lily and Penny nestest-door (who are Young Dawgs and might not know Alla'bout Stranger-Dangers!) just how to go aboud makin' alla'pro'priate noises - and stuff.

Ennyways, it's been a Preddy Full Day.

And while Maman and I were habbin' a look atta Nashunal Wedder Service pages, Maman pointed to sumplace and sed, "Oh look, George! Dat's where Auntie Laura Hardy libs! Wif Boomer and Cricket! And Ms. Buns and Freckles and they were all friends ob Belinda Bunny's!"

So I hadda wook, and I'm wike, "Cool!"

And Maman says to me, "Auntie Laura hassa Blog, too."

And I'm wike, "So udder hoomins blog? Dis is encouraging."

And mainly, I mean dat, onna'count obba Fakt dat I fink blogging shuld be opin to ebberbunny, wike most Fings. I mean, although most obba Blogs dat I know are typed mostly by HouzRabbits, hoomin-typed blogs are good, too - 'speshully if the hoomins are also HouzBunny People.

So heer is where you can go to find Auntie Laura's Blog, called "Somewhere In NJ" which you shuld read.

Auntie Laura writes about her life in NJ, and about her bunnies, which is the main reason dat Alla Us Togedder fink dat Ebberybunny shuld read it.


And also dis evening Phil-da-Lad came ober wif sum Berry Sad Noos. It is sad onna'count obba Fakt dat Our Littest Friend, Furby-da-Hamster has left forda Rainbow Bridge.

So Phil brought her heer, to Our Warren, in her blankie, inna widdle box and he digged a place for her in Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Gardin, so dat she will not ebber be OnAlone ebber again. Not ebben hammies shuld ebber hab to be OnAlone, and Phil made shure dat once he rescued Furby, she was nebber again OnAlone. He kept his promise.

Heer issa Story Ob Furby-da-Hamster: Phil found Furby in Maryland whin she was being mistreated by sum Bad Kids. He stopped da kids frum hurting her, and went to dere Mawmies and Daddies and sed to dem,

"Your kids is pokin' an' hurtin' dis hamster. Dis is not right."

Anna Mawmies and Daddies sed to Phil, "You care so f-ing much aboudda hamster, den you take care obbit!"

And Phil sed, "Suits me."

And he taked Furby home wif him inside ob his pocket.

So he boughted Furby a habitrail and alla hamster-stuff, and taked her toda V-E-T, and got her all kinds ob hammy-stuff to eat and play wif and made tubes and nest-boxes wif habitrail stuff alla'round his apartmint.

And Furby-da-Hammy wassa Berry Happy Hamster.

And den Fruby moved frum Maryland to Noo Joisey wif Phil, anna Catz - Queen KayCee and Toby, and Munchkin. (I shuld point out dat KayCee owns Phil and has owned him since bifore he wint innu da Navy. She is about 10 years old anna Very Serious Kitty!)

So ennyways...

Sumwheres along da line (cos I just found out abouddit!) Phil rescued two Starving Liddle Kittens, Ozzie and Lilly.

And Furby was still going Strong, ebben though she was at least THREE YEARS OLD! And Phil has no idea how old she was bifore he taked her away frum Bad Children, 'cept that she was alreddy (da V-E-T sed) anna'dult

So she hadda Berry Happy Hammy-Life onna'count obba Fakt dat she was rescued!

So she went toda Rainbow Bridge very peacefully, alla'suddin, on her own terms, and met Belinda and Hunny and alla'udder bunnies and critters there Who Have Gone On Bifore, a Very Senior Hamster.

So tonight, we're lighting Our Candle for Furby. We will miss her, but we are happy for her, that she was Rescued, and that she hadda Happy Ending to a Gen'rally Happy Life wif Phil-da-Lad.

So, ennyways...

It hasn't been a Bad Day Heer at Our Warren. It started off grey and soggy, but then it grew bright and warm! And it was Calm and Peaceable, and Maman anna Dawg went fora Liddle Walk Togedder to see if they could find Spring. They didn't find it, but they found that there issa Promise Ob Spring ebberywheres (I just wanted to add dis in for my Cuzzin Ashy who alreddy has menny,menny dandelions and delicious herbs in his Wunnerful Gardin!). 

So this is good, too.

And while we'll miss Furby, we're glad that she's going to be Forever Hokay, and that she's gone on to the Real Forever Home in God's Great Warren (for we are Anglican bunnies). And we're happy for menny gifts Tiday - for finding Auntie Laura's Blog and being able to put it heer in "The Hay Diaries" - and for habbin' so menny friends ebberywheres!

Oh, and Wun More Fing! We want to wish a most blessed Passover to our Cuzzins Sheeba, Bailey and Janey, and to alla Our Friends and Relayshuns who are celebrating it beginning sundown tonight.

And Please, EbberyBunny, Bemember dat Easter Is No Fun For A Real Bun! "Make Mine Chocolate!".

So ennyways...

Dat's Preddy Much Dat. I'm gonna go see aboud Habbin' Sum Hay. If you want, we allus hab Sum To Share heer at Our Warren...

--------------------------- By George!

Posted by Our Warren at 8:33 PM EDT
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Friday, 30 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 30
Now Playing: Once Again, George Reads the Morning Papers...
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

Hokay. I hab just aboud haddit.

I mean, I'm a gen'rally Patient HouzRabbit. Ennybunny who reads dis "The Hay Diaries" bog wif ebben passing attention knows dat Alla Us Togedder in Our Warren live inna MultiSpecies Warren, but dis is (as Dadda says) Gettin' Beyond a Joke!

So tidday, I'm sitting here, reading da Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online as I do ebbery morning wif Maman.

Now, I read it onna'count obba Fakt dat MissyBun, my Big, Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, happins to come frum Noo Yawk and hassa Whole Wotta Noo Yawk Bunna'Tude.


And Maman reads it onna'count obba Fakt dat she usta werk dere.

Just so we're clear.

Ennyways, so here we are, reading da Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online Uppystairs in Maman's Study, and Maman (who has control obba clicky-fing) clicks on a story called "No Pet Left Behind".

And I'm finking, "Oh good! A Pet-centrist Noos item. Ob *course* it will menshun BunnyRabbits."

So I'm reading, and it starts off preddy good - about Pets Who Travel

And I'm finking, "Dis is cool. Our Friend and Relayshun, Sheeba, travels and lets Unkul Peter come along to carry her Furrari for her onna hareplanes."

So I'm reading on - and so far, it's alla'bout Dawgs Who Travel.

And I'm finking, "Yeah, well, so dawgs happin to be da Most Pop'lar Pet. So Whut? We habba Dawg heer in Our Warren, and Our Dawg only goes preddy much two places: da V-E-Ts anna Spa, and mebbe to Rosedale Park or Around da Block, towing Maman onna leash (well, hokay, so I'm hextaggeratin' a widdle and he doesn't *tow* ennywun, but you know whut I mean!)..."

Ennyways, let's read aboudda bunnies!

And I'm finking dat mebbe dis Noos Item will menshun Our Friend, Ms Rudy Esquhare, who has passed her Salad Bar in Noo Yawk and who just got back frum visiting wif Our Cuzzins, Bailey and Janey, who hab Unkul Michael libbin' wif dem, while her Mawmie, Auntie Michelle hadda be Away On BayKayShun (see RIFRAF News onna sidebar).

Yeah, anna artykul is still going on aboudda dawgs and then it menshuns Catz.

And I'm wike, "Hokay, we're geddin' dere."

Onna'count obba Fakt dat Catz are da Sekond Most Pop'lar Pet ("Goodness' knows why!" Sed Missy.).

Now, dere are Two Catz in Our Warren: Cokie-da-Fat-Maine-Coon-Cat and Beep-da-Udder-Cat.

As Auntie Grace has pointed out, bof catz are solar-powered (they hab to lie onna footon, soaking up sun before they can manage enuf ennergy to do ennyfing). And as wiffa Dawg, they preddy much don't Travel Ennywhere 'Cept toda V-E-Ts or toda Spa, and Beep-da-Udder-Cat doesn't ebben hab to go toda Spa!

So I keep on reading. And I'm finking,

"All righty. Dis writer has menshuned Dawgs, and now Catz. Surely dis writer is now gonna menshun BunnyRabbits, (onna'count obba Fakt dat I hab gotten toda Pawt where she is tawkin' aboudda'commydayshuns for Pet Hotels)."

And I'm finking, "Hokay! I know Alla'bout dis subjeckt, onna'count obba Fakt dat Our Cuzzins frum Callyfornia, Beezer and his Bunwife, Sundae, (they lib wif Auntie Judith) allus stays atta lovely liddle place called 'BunnyLuv'. They ebben shared their Wedding 'Nanner there!"

Well, do you fink I saw One Werd Aboudda HouzRabbits in dis artykul inna "Travel" Sekshun obba Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online?


"No Pet Left Behind", my Small NZ white tail! You Left Us Bunnies Behind!

HouseRabbits are the THIRD Most Popular Pet inna'Merica, and there is not ONE WERD devoted to OUR Travelling, to OUR Comfort, to OUR Accomplishments, to OUR Unutterable Cuteness!


Where are the plates of Fresh-cut Veggies being placed out to welcome US? Which Airline is gonna offer Free In-Cabin Fly-Wif-Your-Hoomin? Which Hotel-chain is gonna realise dat WE are NOT "livestock"?

Hokay, so Maman and Dadda hire Pet-Sitters for Alla Us Togedder if they happin to ebben Fink ob Going On BayKayShun.

But lemme tell you, Da Dawg comes wif ONE page ob Instructions. Da Solar-Powered Catz come wif TWO pages ob Instructions (mostly hextplaining Why Cokie Horks).

But da HouzRabbits come wif FOUR Pages ob Single-Spaced Instructions, Inklooding:

  • How to make Salads
  • When to Feed Treats
  • Who is Entitled to What
  • Who gets What, First
  • Whut to do IF.... (and dere's this whole, big, long list)

And that's IN ADDITION to "Emergency Evacuation Plans" just-in-case. (As Maman points out, "Saving the animals will be central to saving you.").

So, um, Wookit, Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online, dere are more to "pets" then just "dawgs" and "cats", hokay?.

And just so you won't fink dat I'm complaining wiffout trying to help (wike so menny bloggers), I'm finkin' obba artykul idea For You. How aboudda Small artykul aboudda Make Mine Chocolate?

Dat wuld be a Troo "PetS" (please note da plural!) dat EbberyBunny would want to read!

-----------------------------------By George



Posted by Our Warren at 12:58 PM EDT
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Sunday, 25 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 25
Now Playing: Problems Wif Inkwish
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, assa Blogging BunnyRabbit, I habba innerest in keeping up wif udder bloggers who also happin to be typing inna Urban Blogosphere onna East Coast. And as I was reading, I happined to read a bog by sum hoomin who werks for sum hoomin fing called "Vanity Fair" who seems to habba Problem wif Inkwish.

Now I find dis sad on menny levels, and assa Longtime Observer Obba East Coastie Blogging Scene frum habbing been associated wif Wunna Da Furst HouzRabbits to ebber Blog Onna WerldWideWeb, Belinda Bunny (fum whom I inherited dis Blog), I feel I hab a Right to post An Opinion.

So here we go.

Frust ob All I happin to LIKE Inkwish hoomins Libbin' Onna East Coast. In dis, I disagree wif dis hoomin frum Vanity Fair.

Obviously, he has no Dadda

Onna udder paw, We heer at Our Warren do hab a Dadda and he comes frum Inkland, which makes him Inkwish.

And Our Dadda is Very Important to Alla Us Togedder.

Maman says she'd pro'bly hab curled up and died a wong time ago if it wassn't for Our Dadda, which is quite pos'ly Troo, gibbin the way she is allus talkin' to Da Dawg. She'd do much Bedda Axtin' Us.

Now, Our Dadda does drink a lotta stuff called "tea". It comes in bags dat go in big cups dat Maman says are only for him and nobun else has dem. He also hassa "kettle" dat sits onna counter inna Kitchin dat is also just for him. Dis kettle is eidder OFF and Quiet, or ON and whut Dadda calls "singing" or Whut We Call "growling". Maman says dat we Each Hear Whut We Hear.


Now dis tea is Obviously 'Portant stuff to an Inkwish hoomin.Sumfing goes wrong, Our Dadda puts onna Kettle. Our Dadda wakes up inna middle obba nite, he boils a kettle. Da Cokie-Cat or Dawg does sumfing stoopit, Dadda calls dem "You Buggers!" and boils a kettle. He is ushually allus calling Maman onna cell-phone fing axting her to "be a deer and put a kettle on for me." Which, while she stays Maman and doesn't change innu ennyfing dif'frunt frum Whut She Is, she allus does. 

Our Maman can't do much, but she can boil a kettle wif da best obb'em.

But dere is nuffin' to complain about Dadda's Drinkin' Habits, hextcept dat we don't share dem. Dis is Hokay wif us onna'count obba Fakt dat we drink wadder. Keep da wadder coming and we won't make cracks about "Ewwwww! Tea!"

Fair is Fair. 

Now Maman usta lib in Inkwand, which made her anna'Murrican Adrift inna Foreign Land, which was Hokay because she felt wike she At Home (but where she was in Inkwand was preddier, she says, onna'count obba Fakt she says she's notta Huge Fan ob Noo Joisey.). As she says, "Habbin growed up preddy much in Phillydelphia and Noo Joisey, Manhattan was aboud as Foreign as you can get and still stay on dis planet."

And as Phil-the-Lad (who has libbed lotsa places wiffa Navy, inklooding Inkwand) sed, "Da fing is, whut madders is whut pooties you are used to dealing wif. It is allus bedda to deal wif da pooties you know. You can lern to deal wif udder pooties, but it takes more time and patience." 

And Bunnies know dat dis is Troo. It is allus harder to come to unnerstand unfamiliar pooties, which is why we prefer it if you leeb our habbytats As We Hab Dem.

Dis is sumfing dat da Guy Frum "Vanity Fair" doesn't seem to unnerstand.

Just becos he wikes his own pooties, udders hab dere own pooties dat dey also wike.

It doesn't make his pooties bedda, just dif'frunt.

Now dere is such a Fing assa Pooty War. And it can be a Grim Business.

A Pooty War is when Wun Bunny comes innu a Noo Warren and tries to take ober da Top Bunship frumma 'Stablished Top Bunny. Anna Wun Bunny begins to leeb a trail ob pooties outside da Personal Habbytat obba'Nudder Bunny. And den da Nudder Bunny responds wiffa trail ob dere own pooties. And preddy soon dere are two Walls Ob Pooties, and each Bunny Seeing Which Bunny Can Build a Higher Wall ob Pooties

Sumtimes dey leeb PeeMail, which can rilly begin to upset Maman.


The Last Time dis happined in Our Warren was whin Mr Mouse challenged Belinda Bunny forda position ob Top Bun in Our Warren.

I wassa berry small Babby George, berry Noo to Our Warren and Belinda Bunny was a ten year-old Inkwish Spot Bunny. As Mouse says, if he had known Belinda had Cancer, he nebber wuld hab Challenged her, but ebben so, da two ob dem built two Pootie Walls dat , as Maman sed, were worthy ob two Buzwizer Clydesdales fed on good pasture.

Now Mouse says he *let* Belinda win. Dadda says Belinda wassa most Efficent Converter ob 'Salad-to-Shit'." he'd ebber seed on "God's Green Earth" and dat Mouse nebber stood a chance (mainly onna'count obba Fakt dat Mouse issa Netherlands Dwarf rabbit and Belinda being Inkwish hadda 'Natural'Vantage' ob prob'ly coming frumma 'Norf' which made Maman yell, "Hay!" and we all sed, "Hokay! Bring sum in!"). 

But dis is not da Point.

Da Point is dat Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren hab taked a Vote and hab decided dat habbin' Inkwish hoomins onna East Coast are mostly a Preddy Good Fing. Maman's Whole Family ob Hoomins arrived heer in sumtime called "1629" which issa Long Time Ago, and frum Inkwand, too. And Our Dadda came frum Inkwnd in sumtime called "2000". Our Warren was 'Stablished in 1996 by Maman, and Belinda Bunny, Proud Inkwish Spot Bunny, began dis "The Hay Diaries" blog in 2004 and I'm George, Small New Zealand White Bunny, the Easter Bunny left all OnAlone inna cardboard box atta V-E-T's, and I'm keeping dis Blog going!

And We are, Alla Us Togedder, geddin' Along.

And We are All Dif'frunt.

But We Don't Care! *Footflicks!*

You know, sumtimes, alla dees East Coast bloggers hab just got to Ged Ober It; dey use dere Gills to strain da Ocean ob Werds to Strain Outta Smallest Ideas! So heer is My Idea: Alla Us Togedder make A Warren.

It's Whut We Do

Whut I fink is Most Important is dat dere are bunnies imprisoned in outdoor hutches, and being sold as Easter Toys, and libbin' libes ob silent desperation while hoomin pollyticians fink dat Only Udder Hoomins madder and udder hoomins Just Don't Care! 

Will YOU remember "To Make Mine Chocolate" this year? For EVERYBUNNIES' SAKE!

Dis Whole, Big, Beautiful Werld, wif alla it's subtle Seekrets, alla it's Endless Mysteries, and alla it's Glories, is Wun Big Warren dat we all share. We need to concentrate on being Alla Us Togedder, NoBunny OnAlone!

----------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 1:01 PM EDT
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Thursday, 22 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 22
Now Playing: Whut Amazes George
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

Afta habbin seen Baby Annastasia, I hab notised dat we - bunny, kitty; dawg or hoomin - all start out da same: For a given *length of a piece of string* we all come innu dis werld da same way - nekkid, helpless and blind wif our eyes sealed firmly shut.

And den, inna given period ob *da length obba piece ob string* da eyes opin, dere is fur ob varying amounts and we start to lern.

And Whut We Lern is Whut We Hear frumma Elders.

I hab seen dis wif Baby Annastasia.

Maman sits wif her inna Living Room where Alla Us Togedder are not s'sposed to go onna'count obba Fakt dat it is full ob Anty-Ques dat are part ob Maman's Lore. So Maman sits inna Rocking Chair dat is part ob Maman's Lore and rocks Baby Annastasia back and forf. Anna Rocking Chair creaks, and dat creaking sound is also part ob Maman's Lore that she is passing on to Baby Annastasia, just like she passed it on to Sistah Beffy and Phil-the-Lad.

And I, who lerned Da Lore as it was told to me by me,Hunny (Senior Bun) can Respekt dat. When you are blind, nekkid and helpless, it is knowing Da Lore that helps you to keep on Growing 'Tellygint, which is Whut Bunnies Do

So Maman sits wif Baby Annastasia anna Rocking Chair inna Living Room creaks and teaches Baby Annastasia Maman's Lore.

You can see dat I hab dis Fing down, now. I unnerstand aboudda "baby" being Annastasia. MissyBun, Mr Mouse, Beebe-Bunny!! and I hab gotten to smell her and she hassa smell all her own, anna Dawg anna Cokie-Cat anna Beep-da-Udder-Cat all Rekognize her assa Member ob Our Warren, too. So we know Who She Is.

Whut She Does took a widdle more werk to figger out. Whut She Does, though, is whut All Widdle Fings do, which is to Lern Dere Lore.

Which is where dis Rocking Chair inna Living Room comes in.

Da Lore is lerned frumm Ground Up.

Maman was sitting inna Rocking Chair wif Annastasia, anna Rocking Chair was creaking and Baby Annastasia was watching alla Rainbows coming in inna morning. Because Rainbows are part obba Living Room, too, onna'count ob alla sunbeams coming fru alla Sperkling Glass dat is also part ob Maman's Lore.

And just as Baby Annastasia's widdle round hed was falling down asleep, suddinly da tall Standing Clock that ticks away Minutes and chimes alla parts obba Hours wound itself up and began to Chime!


And Baby Annastasia's hed came up and her Bloo Eyes wandered around and den fixed onna tall Standing Clock.

Anna Standing Clock chimed. And then went back to ticking away Minutes and Hours.

But it seemed wike a wonder onna'count obba Fakt dat Baby Annastasia is Noo Inna Werld and had nebber been so close to da Standing Clock bifore!

But da Standing Clock is also part ob Maman's Lore, just wike da Rocking Chair anna Sperkling Glass inna Windows anna Crystal Cabinet dat We are Not Allowed to touch. As me,Hunny told to me, Maman's Lore does not Touch Da Lore, so there is no need for Alla Us Togedder to Touch Maman's Lore. Whut is inna Living Room has no bearing on Da Lore at all, but we can look at it, without having to touch it or smell it (it is a widdle dusty, afta all!) or put our chins all ober it.

And dat is Hokay.

Maman will teach Baby Annastasia Maman's Lore as me,Hunny told me alla Da Lore - so we can go frum being nekkid, blind and helpless to being 'Tellygint. I'm still werking onnit, but I'm further along than Baby Annastasia who is Very Noo.

Da point is dat she will hab Maman's Lore and I hab Da Lore as it was told to me by me,Hunny. But our two aims remain da same: to Grow 'Tellygint.

And Maman will teach her aboudda HouzRabbits anna Lore, just wike me,Hunny teached Alla Us Togedder to Stay Outta da Living Room and Maman's Lore.

And parts obba Lore and Maman's Lore meet, you know. 'Specially inna Kitchen where there are Treats.


Wike where the Raisins are kept inna Cupboard and Where There Is Salad inna 'Frigerator. And aboud Whut Belinda Sed: "Da Bunny Is Allus Right", and stuff wike dat.

Dere are Sum Fings where Maman's Lore and Da Lore meet, and where they are stuck Togedder, and where Fings Are Not Changed:

  • Da Bunny Is Allus Right
  • Free Access to Hay, Pellets, and Clean Wadder.
  • Safe Indoor Housing and Reg'lar Playtimes (wif TeeVee)
  • Treats, Treats and More Treats
  • Stay Outta Da Living Room (Hokay, we can do dat.)

Sum Fings Just ARE. And You don't Mess Wif Dem!


Anglican bunnies follow da media via to Canterbury inna Company ob Saint Francis.

So ennyways...

Baby Annastasia is Lerning Maman's Lore frum Maman inna Living Room, sitting inna Rocking Chair in frunt obba Standing Clock and hearing da Rocking Chair creak anna Standing Clock tick Minutes and Chime Hours. And dis is part obba Way dat Baby Annastasia Grows 'Tellygint.

But we ALL start out da same


And so dis is Whut Amazes me:

  • How we start da same - blind, nekkid and helpless.
  • How we Lern Our Lore da same - frumma Senior Elder (wike me,Hunny or Maman)
  • How we habba same Goal In Mind - Growin' Tellygint
  • We all habba Lore dat is 'Portant to Each ob Us Togedder - Bunny, Kitty, Dawg and Hoomin!
  • And how Alla Lore touches, but nebber Oberruns Anudder Wun.

So we are, Alla Us Togedder, Members obba Same Warren, just dif'frunt.

But atta Same Time, Alla Us Togedder can't ignore Maman's Lore. Alla Us Togedder wouldn't go and smash Maman's Lore inna Living Room, or mess up her Rocking Chair or da Standing Clock that Ticks da Minutes and Chimes da Hours! Dat wuld take away part ob Da Lore as it was told to me by me,Hunny.

And Maman wuld nebber, ebber hurt Alla Us Togedder by throwin' us Out Innu Da Cold, or Fortygetting To Feed us.

Where Da Lore touches Maman's Lore, we are stuck Alla Us Togedder to make Our Warren.

Mebbe we wanna go innu da Living Room summa da times, but you know, we hab grown 'Tellygint enough to come innu Maman's Lore and to hab Maman in Da Lore. We ebben Share sum Lore, wike Da Lore Obba Rainbow Bridge. And we believe dat sum Day, we will grow ebben More 'Tellygint, and Da Lore and Maman's Lore will beda Same Lore!


But dat is not Now. For Now we are, wike Baby Annastasia, startin' Out da Same and Alla Us Togedder, Growin' Tellygint!

----------------------------- By George.

Posted by Our Warren at 12:32 PM EDT
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Monday, 19 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 19
Now Playing: A Preddy Good Day!
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, Dadda hadda Nightmare aboudda Cokie-da-Fat-Cat fallin' innu da toilet and not bein' able to ged out. So Dadda god'outta bed, walked Uppystairs, putta'lid down onna toilet and came back Downnastairs to bed.

I found'dout aboud'dit onna'count obba Fakt dat I heard him walkin' around and *thumped* and Dadda yelled frumma Dining Room, "Shaddup, George! It's only me puttin' da lid down onna toilet soda Cat doesn't fall in!"

And I'm sitting there in my hay, finking, "Whuttaheck?" whenna Dawg cruises through, wooking for a DrinkObWatta, as he allus does when he's been sumwhere's wif Dadda - wedder Dadda wanted him or not. It's kind obba Collie-Dawg fing, onna'count obba Fakt dat it is wunna Da Dawg's Jobs to go wherebber Dadda goes, ebben if Dadda is only in his unnerwear and bafrobe.

Soda Dawg stopped by and haddda DrinkObWatta and sed dat he and Dadda had been Uppystairs, puttin' down da toilet lid so Cokie-da-Fat-Cat wouldn't drown.

So I axted him, "Was Cokie inna toilet?"

Anna Dawg sed, "No, but you nebber know whut culd happin wiffa Cat, which is why we was Up dere."

And dat's when I pointed out dat Bafrooms made No Sense.

I mean,

  • Why habba room where it rains indoors?
  • Why habba stone sink dat is raised up too high fora bunny to reach?
  • Why habba swirly toilet pond dat is so high it hasta be jumped innu and once you're innu it, it is so low and slippery dat you can't ged out?
  • What's da point ob floors dat are too slippery to run on?
  • And why keep a baskit fulla nice, shreddable paper in dere, too?
  • And why hang a roll ob soft paper onna toob onna wall?
  • None obbit is bunny-friendly in any meaningful way.

Anna Dawg sed dat it was not Dawg friendly, but dat it culd be, 'cept Maman allus yelled her hed off if he went in dere to habba drink outta da swirly toilet pool.

"So whut's da point ob habbin' it? It don't hab Cat-cooties, mainly onna'count obba Fakt dat it is too high for dem. And too slippery." Said da Dawg. "So it is perfeckt for me. But Maman geds all stoopit and histerikal when I habba drink in dere."

"And whut's wif bringing alla rain inside?" Axted Mr Mouse. "Da hoomins run Inside da houz outta da rain frum Outside, but they go Inside obba Bafroom, take of alla dere clothes, and den ged Inside obba'nudder liddle room wiffa indoor rain on. Dat makes No Sense, but they do it On Purpose!"

And Missy menshuned dat there wassa "sink" also inna Kitchin. "And Maman puts stuff inna wadder to make sudz." She added. "Den she puts inna dishes. She ruins perfektly good wadder by puttin' inna sudz. You ebber smelled dat sudz-stuff? It smells horrybul. Den she puts inna dishes."

Anna Dawg just wagged his tail back and forf. "I dunno. But Dadda is 'fraid datta Cokie-Cat will drown inna swirly toilet pond Uppystairs if he doesn't putta'lid down. So dat's whut we were doing. Now I gotta go to bed so I'll be there in case Maman geds up and falls ober."

So da Dawg went off and we went back to our hay.

We had big piles obbit last nite along wif our salads. Maman sed datta Romaine didn't look "special" and dat she and Dadda wuld hab to go toda "Markit" onna'count obba Fakt datta herbs were preddy much Gone, too.

And Dadda sed dat wuld be "Hokay" onna'count obba Fakt dat dey hadda go to pik up Beebe-Bunny's meddysin afta they taked Da Dawg toda v-e-t's for his 10,000 Mile Check-up.

And because we're careful ob Beebe onna'count obba Fakt dat he issa Senior Bun and Not All There, we hadn't axt him aboud where he had bin inna carrier yet. He had come back preddy soon, but he was shakin' and berry tired, so we didn't axt him much rite den. But he waked up much later afta salads and hay.

And he had bin to see Dr Sharin! Yeah!

"And I habba small cold and not pneumonia." Beebe sed. "And Maman puts drops in my eyes, so I'm letting her. Whut else can I do?"

And he sighed and huddled up.

So I sed, "Well, you gots raisins."

"Dat is part obba RIFRAF Roolz." He sed. "Da Roolz dat Belinda Bunny was allus talkin' about and typin' onna Inner-net and Stuff. She wassa great one for Roolz. She typed down alla Roolz onna RIFRAF News page and was allus tellin' people to go see da 'Bunny Bill ob Rites'."

And you can read this Most Impawtant Dokumint Ebber Typed By Bunnies, For Bunnies, too! At which is it's new location from which is way too long obba URL, so I renamed it to make it easier for hoomins who are not used to such long names for things.

So, ennyways...

Beebe sed dat while he was at Dr Sharin's some vet-tech came in and said to Maman, "Well, which one do you want to weigh furst?"

And Maman, who knew dere was only Beebe inna carrier wif his Stuffie was wike, "Whuttaheck?"

And Dadda sed, "Dere is only wun bunny."

Anna vet-tech, who was leaning ober da side obba table-inna-middle-obba-room says to Dadda, "Dere are TWO BUNNIES in dat carrier."

And Maman is wike, "Nononono, no. Dere is Wun Bunny and His Stuffie."

Anna vet-tech wooked blank, Beebe sed.

So Maman went on aboud how Beebe had been bonded to Ms Clover and how Ms Clover had gone toda Rainbow Bridge, and how dat left Beebe-Bunny!! behind, and how Beebe had been all sad and lonely, so Maman and Dadda had put a Stuffie bunny innu his habbytat wif him so he at least had sumbun to cuddle up to, ebben though Stuffie was only a stuffie-bunny and not a Real Rabbit.

And then Dr Sharin came in and sed, "Whutta well-lubbed stuffie!" Which all goes to show you dat she issa Bunny-savvy V-E-T!

Anna vet-tech was confoozled, Beebe sed. He sed it wassa shame.

But ennyways, he was preddy glad to see Dr Sharin. That is, until she decided to take his temperachur. Beebe sed dat was preddy much whin he decided he needed to ged back innu da carrier wif Stuffie. It was eidder ged back innu da carrier or else climb up da sleeve ob Maman's coat, and dat wassa tight fit, so Dadda put him back innu da carrier and put Stuffie back inside, too, and they came home inna car.

And den Maman and Dadda taked Beebe out twice yestidday and oncet tidday to putta drops in his eyes and den he geds a treat, which he won't eat until they go away. He still wooks preddy sad, though, and that makes Maman werried. Maman sed,

  • "George and Missy expect attention"
  • "Mr Mouse demands attention"
  • "Poor little Beebe-Bunny is surprised that anyone pays attention to him at all."

And this is ebben though she makes ebberybunny who comes innu da houz come innu da BunRoom and talk to Alla Us Togedder and gib us sumfing frumma 'Frigerator. But now Beebe is geddin' ebberyfing Furst. Mouse is settlin' for Sekond and we don't care, just so we get sum.

So dat's preddy much it for rite now: we're habbin hay, da Dawg is wookin' at his leash and winding up to ged hextcited aboudda "Ride Inna Car" although afta going toda Spa, and Beebe goin to see Dr Sharin da day bifore yestidday, and all, he rilly shuld know bedda! Maybe he rilly *is* stoopit. Dere's allus dat possybillity.

Oh, And No Catz hab drowned in enny toilets!

So it's a preddy Good Day!

------------------------- By George.


Posted by Our Warren at 8:50 AM EDT
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Thursday, 15 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 15
Now Playing: Smells, Stinks anna Ride-Inna-Car...
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

Well, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is unnerneaf obba footon in Maman's Study and he won't come out.

I told him, "Wookit, Cat. Dis is No Big Deal"

And he sed, "I hab suffered an Indiggity,"

And I'm wike, "So far as I know, Cat, you hab just bin toda Spa. So whut?"

And Cokie is wike, "I hab bin Humillyated."

And I'm wike, "Wookit, Dadda put you inna carrier yestidday morning...and you wint fora Ride Inna Car. So did Da Dawg. So whut? "

Anna Cokie-Cat poked his hed up and sed, "You don't unnerstand, George BunnyRabbit! You are a BunnyRabbit! Stuff wike dis doesn't happin to You!"

And I'm wike, "You are Rite: BunnyRabbits nebber hab to go toda Spa onna'count obba Fakt dat we do not get to smell wike Old Privy Carpets, as Maman says. She says dat if you did not smell wike an Old Privy carpet (whutebber *dat* is!) den you wuld not hab to go toda Spa. You only hab to go onna'count obba Fakt dat you smell."

Anna Cokie-Cat glared at me and sed, "So whutta'boudda'Dawg? Huh? Why does da Dawg hab to go wif me?"

And I sed, "Well, you herd Maman: Da Dawg has Mucky Paws. If he didn't hab Mucky Paws and hab them all ober her clean floor inna Kitchen, he wuldn't hab to go toda Spa, eidder. So dere you are. Plus, da Dawg was smellin', too. Dadda sed. Mucky Paws and Smellin'."

Anna Cat sed frum unnerneaf obba footon, "Wookit BunnyRabbit, I lib to smell. And now I hab bin Humillyated. I don't smell rite. I gots Spa Smell."

And I sed, "No. You stink. You stink wike Spa. Wike artyfishul flowers and perfoom and stuff, but you def'nitly don't smell - you Stink."

"I am s'sposed to Stink - wike Cat." Sed Cokie, in offended terms. "Dat's my Job!"

And just den, in comes Beep-da-Udder-Cat, hotly pursuded byda Dawg. He finks he's doing his Job ob Herding Catz, only Beep just finks he's being his ushual Pain Inna Butt. It's a Communykayshuns Problem they habbin't werked out for a coupla years.

And Beep jumps up on toda footon and she's wike, "I smell wike Cat and I don't hab to go toda Spa."

Anna Dawg is wike, "I went toda Spa and got Collie-Slick!" and starts waggin' his tail back and forf.

Anna Cokie-Cat sticks outta paw and takes a swipe atta Dawg-tail and says, "Goody fur you." and pulls back his claws.

And I'm wike, "Whuttsamatta? Whutdaheck is 'collie-slick'?"

Anna Dawg says, "I dunno. Maman says dat it goes on show collies to make dere fur shiney and slippery, so I guess it issa good fing. But it doesn't 'Half Pong' Dadda sed, so I guess dat's good, too, onna'count obba Fakt dat no udder Dawgs smell wike Me! And I bin All Ober da Back Gardin, spreading My Noo Smell ob Me!"

Anna Cokie-Cat grumbles again, "Well, goody fur you."

And Beep says, "I don't hab to go toda Spa, and I still smell wike Me."

So I'm wike, "Why don't you hab to go?"

And Beep is wike, "Onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman says I grow extry 'Arms' and 'Wegs' whin I am dere, which ends up costing her and Dadda more munny. So I don't go."

"Ebben though you stink?" I axt.

And Beep sed, "Yup. But I don't stink; I only smell ob Cat. You see, rite now Cokie stinks. Ob Spa, mostly. I smell, but dif'frunt."

"And you don't ged Mucky Paws?" I axt.

And Beep sed, "Dat's only for Dawgs.I mainly just smell."

And Cokie, still unnerneaf obba footon yeowls, "It's not fair! I hab suffered an Indiggity! I Stink ob Spa!!"

Anna Dawg, still watching Beep, who was sitting onna footon, says, "Just do whut I do - spread your stink around."

And Cokie wailed, "But it's not My Stink! It's Spa Stink!"

Anna Dawg is wike, "Wookit, Cat, it's da Stink Dat You Hab."

And I'm wike, "I'm a BunnyRabbit, and I keep my stink safe in my litter pan and chin it heer on alla stuff I can reach heer inna Study."

Anna Cat is wike, "But you don't unnerstand, they have gone and Taked Away My Stink!"

And I'm wike, "So whut are you gonna do aboud'dit?"

And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat says, "I'm gonna stay unnerneaf obba footon until My Stink comes back."

Anna Dawg hassa wook unnerneaf obba footon and he says, "Dat culd take awhile."

And Beep says, "And I will keep walkin' around, onna'count obba Fakt dat I still gots My Smell."

Anna Dawg says, "Well, I'm gonna just spread My Collie-Slick Spa Stink all ober my Gardin."

And I'm wike, "Waidaminit, Maman is onna tellyphone again. She's talkin' aboudda 'Catz' anna 'Dawg' and you are 'goin' sumwhere again."

And Cokie wooks up. "We alreddy bin."

And I'm turning my ears, and I'm wike, "Does 'Saturday' sound familiar?"

Anna Dawg is wike, "No."

And den Maman comes innu da Study frum Dadda's office and she wooks atta Dawg and she says, all bright-wike, "You're going to see Doctor PeterBatts, Marc. Do you want to habba Ride Inna Car?"

Anna Cat yells, "No! We allreddy BIN on ONE Ride Inna Car and dat went toda SPA! Dat car only goes to WUN UDDER place and I'm not goin' dere!"

And right away da Dawg starts to wag his tail and bounce up-and-down and starts his singin' - "Ride Inna Car! Ride Inna Car! I'm gonna go fora Ride Inna Car!"

And Cokie pulls himself furder in unnerneaf obba footon and tucks his paws up unnerneaf ob himself and tries to ged small, and if you listen really close you kin hear him purrin' nervously, "Oooooooh nooooooo! Noooooo Ride-Inna-Car! Not for dis kitty-cat! I'm not goin' for ENNY more Rides Inna Car!"

And then Maman piks me up and wooks at me nose-to-nose and says, "And Doctor Sharin wants to see you, too, little mister! How about a Ride Inna Car for you and Missy?"

And I'm wike, "Waidaminit. Hold on!" And my ears go up straight. And I call down to MissyBun who is browsing amongst da Buks in Dadda's office "Are you lebbin' enny stink?"

And Missy is wike, "No more den usual."

And I'm wike, "Well, cut it out! And ged in sumplace small! Maman wants us to go fora Ride Inna Car!"

And Missy is wike, "Ride Inna Car? You gottabekiddin me!"

So we're worried heer. Dere is entirely too much ob dis 'Ride Inna Car' fing going around...

-----------------By George.


Posted by Our Warren at 11:45 AM EDT
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Monday, 12 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 12
Now Playing: A Box of Coloured Chalks
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

So heer I am on dis berry mild Spring morning, doing whut I allus do, which is grooming MissyBun onna'count obba Fakt dat she is my Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns.

And Maman sorta staggers innu da Bun Room looking for her high-powered migraine meddysin inna refriggyator, onna'count obba Fakt dat she has woken up wiffa Rilly Bad Migrain for No Reason inna Werld, and Dadda is wif her onna'count obba Fakt dat she Mite Tumble Ober, cos she issn't walking too well becos her Hed hurts.

And Maman turns around frumma 'frigerator and she is wike, "Oh , how cute! George found the chalk mark!"

And Dadda says, "Yes, you know sumday we will hab to buy him a Box ob Coloured Chalks."

And they giggled. They allus say this onna'count obba Fakt dat MissyBun issa Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns and her back is mostly all-white so they fink I'm gonna loose my way while I am grooming her.

Which is preddy stoopit frum my point ob view onna'count obba Fakt dat I lub my Bunwife, and whin you lub sumbun you are keeping your eyes mostly on dem and not on you. Which is how you know you lub dem: look at where you're lookin' most obba time - You shuld be wooking at dem and dey are wookin' back at you!

Ob course dere are Times whin I wish Missy wasn't wookin' at me so close. Most ob these times involve Salad. Like whin Maman or Dadda puts da Salad innu our habbytats and da Salads are too close togedder and Missy wooks up frum eating alla her Parsley while I mite still hab sum Parlsey and she says,

"Whut'chu got?"

And I'm wike, habbin' to grab dat last sprig ob Parlsey inna-hurry before she reaches ober to grab it, or I hab to sit on dat last Baby Organic Carrot so she doesn't see dat I hab wun while I'm mugging for a pet.

Missy is not above sneaking dat wast Baby Organic Carrot out frum unnerneaf my butt if she has alreddy eaten alla hers. Dat bunnygurl lubs her Baby Organic Carrots, lemme tell you!

But dat is also part ob lub: Knowing when you hab to sit on sumfing onna'count obba Udder Wun.

Maman was just beminding Phil-da-Lad ob whin he was small and Sistah Beffy was small and Maman usta hab to put dere names on boxes ob Cereal so each wun had wun and nobun got more cereal den ennybunny else.

Maman sed dat prevented Fings Frum Happinen, wike sumbun pouring outta bowl ob RaisinBran dat was all Bran and No Raisins, or pouring out a bowl ob Lucky Charms wif Marshmallows dat was all Lucky Charms and No Marshmallows.


So I gotta be on my toes whin Salad arrives.

It's not so bad for Mr Mouse or for Beebe, who lib in dere own habbytats... although Beebe says he hasta keep on his toes around Stuffie, but being a Small Bunny it's sumtimes almost Impossible for him to ged alla dat Salad down at One Time, even though he's eating as fast as he can.

Luckily, Stuffie doesn't seem to eat much, or steal Baby Organic Carrots out frum unnerneaf ob him - which is kinda bedder den whin he was libbin' wif Ms Clover, who usta just flip him innu da air and snatch da Baby Orgainc Carrot if she hadda mind to, onna'count obba Fakt dat she was anudder Big Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns.

But onna'udder-side obba coin, Clover usta also be dere da sekond Beebe sneezed or ennyfing and allus kept her eyes mainly on Beebe and not on herself - which is how she would see he had enny Baby Organic Carrots, ennyways. Dis was onna'count obba Fakt dat she lubbed him so much dat she was allus watchin' ober him so dat he stayed Perfektly Groomed, which Stuffie doesn't seem to do onna'count obba Fakt dat she issa Stuffie and not da same assa bunny although she wooks wike wun.

Beebe has tried peeing on her (descreetly) so dat she smells right, just wike da rest ob Our Warren (even da Dawg), but she still is not acting hextactly right - although she still preddy much stands ober Salad which makes Beebe hab to eat as much assa Small BunnyRabbit can hold at Wun Sitting

Which is why he was yellin' at Maman last nite, "YO! Gedouttaheer so I can eat, will ya?"

And dat is while Maman was standing there saying to Daddy, "Oh look at Beebe! Isn't he adorable? Maman's poor widdle sweetie..."

And Beebe's wike, "YO! Wady! GeddaheckOUT!"

And Maman's still hanging around, talkin' to Dadda and sayiing how "cute" we are... which *shuld* hab translated innu a coupla more Baby Organic Carrots for each bunny, but sumfing got lost in translation and it didn't.

In Fakt, da only fing New dat happined Yestidday was dat Mouse gotta new Cardboard fing to beat up on.

Yeah! And Guess Whut else?

You know Auntie Irene who comes in heer and talks to Mouse? Da friend ob Maman's who hassa Cat and who also feeds Catz she doesn't ebben know? And she issa 'fraid obba bunnies onna'count obba Fakt she finks we are "dellycat" (whutebber *dat* means!).

And she says Mr Mouse is her favourite onna'count obba Fakt dat he glares at her and grunts and honks at her. Dis is beacuse she has nebber seed a Vocal Rabbit, and Mr Mouse issa berry Vocal Houz Rabbit.

Well, she comed in heer innu da Bun Room a coupla days ago and waved sum scraps ob paper in frunt ob Mouse and sed, "Are you feeling lucky, Mr Mouse?"

And Mouse was wike, "I'm feeling wike you're invading my property. Ged out." and got all resentful onna'count obba Fakt dat she didn't bring him a raisin or carrot or ennyfing. And she smelled wike Catz!

But ennyways...

Auntie Irene went on, waving da scraps ob paper and axting Mouse if he felt lucky.

So Mouse is dere wike, "Lookit, wady..." and honked, just to show her dat he didn't feel like being bothered just then if she didn't hab ennyfing she wanted to gib him.

And Auntie Irene is going, "Pick a ticket, Mouse. Come on, are you going to pick a lucky ticket for me?"

And finally, Mouse is wike, "Yeah, I'll 'pick' a ticket for you.. TAKE THAT!"

And he lunged at her and took a nice chunk outta one obba scraps ob paper.

And den she wike, giggled at him, and she goes, "Are you shure? Issat da wun you want?"

And Mouse is wike, "I'm shure I want you outta my face wif dose tickets!" and he honked again.

So, finally, Auntie Irene taked da hint and went off wiffa scraps ob paper she called "tickets".

Well, yestidday, she calls up Maman and tells her, "Guess whut?"

And Maman is wike, "Whut?"

And Auntie Irene says, "Your rabbit won da Pick Three."

And Maman is wike, "Whutdaheck issat?"

And Auntie Irene goes, "Mouse's number came out. He's a lucky bunny. He won the Daily Number. He's knee-deep in carrots."

And Maman is wike, "Dat's not deep - he's a short rabbit."

And Auntie Irene is wike, "Then he's butt-deep in carrots."

And Maman says, "Dat's still not berry deep. He's a Netherlands Dwarf Rabbit."

And Auntie Irene says, "I don't gibba hoot Whut Kind Ob Bunny he is! He's a Lucky Rabbit! Serriusly, he won the Pick Three. He rilly did. I'll be over later and we'll see how lucky he rilly is - I'm gonna play anudder game and let him pick anudder number."

And Maman sed, "Just bemember, Mouse issa Anglican Bunny. I don't think and I don't fink he's s'sposed to be playing da lottery."

And Auntie Irene sed, "Dat's hokay. Jeremiah Winslow, my cat, issa Catholic cat so he's at least hexpected to play Bingo. So we'll let Mouse mention the number and then Jeremiah can buy the ticket and they can split the proceeds..."

And Maman finks fora minute and den she says, "But only if they both put 10% of their winnings innu da Alms basin."

And dat was hokay wif Auntie Irene.

So dat was preddy much dat...

And Maman sed it's dat you end up keeping your eyes on whut you lub, even if it's only inna gently funny way, dat where you look is Important

She sed to us, "Modeste Mussorgsky who wrote beautiful musiks allus sed, 'Tell me whom you lub and I'll tell you who you are.' and dat we allus look most oftin atta fing or person we lub most. 

And if we are wooking at ourselves alla time, den we don't hab time to wook at anudderbunny...

And den I guess we would need those boxes ob coloured chalks to figger out where we left off grooming and where to begin nextest...

-------------------------- By George. .

Posted by Our Warren at 8:13 AM EDT
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Friday, 9 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 9
Now Playing: Begging
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

You godda hab anna'prisyhayshun forda Daynamic at Our Warren: one commint frum Maman can start a Whole Chain ob Events and she doesn't ebben hab to be Trying To Start Ennyfing!

Wike Last Nite...

I was werkin' on my "Cute", you know, wike I do, and MissyBun was digging innu da pellet-crock, wike she does, and Mr Mouse and Beebe were just picking at their Raisins one-atta-time and watching Da Dawg clogging uppa doorway toda BunRoom as Maman was trying to put da lid onna Raisin container.

Reg'lar nite inna Warren at Bunny Bedtime.

So I'm werkin' on my Cute and standing up on my toes, wif my nose up-inn-air, whiskers wigglin'.

And Maman goes, "Oh Brian, wook at him!"

And Dadda comes and wooks and he grunts, "Charlotte, he's begging."

And Maman opins uppa Habbytat and starts petting my hed, so I whuffle her hand (still standin' on my toes, you know) and her fingers, being rilly careful not to make MissyBun's mistake and nibble on her come-frumma-store finger-nails (which are painted "garnet" dis week to match sum earrings Auntie Irene had gibbed her for her birfday awhile back).

And Maman hextclaims, "He's so cute!"

And Dadda grumbles, "But he's begging."

Anna stoopit Dawg starts to horn in on my Cute by placing himself rite *dere* at Maman's feets, sitting down and wooking up wike "Noble Dawg" innu her eyes.

And I'm busy whuffling her fingers wif my whiskers.

So MissyBun opins her mouf and digs deep innu da pellet-crock, shovelling in as menny pellets as she can. Anna whole wave ob pellets gets pushed ober da side obba crock out onna floor and goes bouncing down da Dawg's neck, ober his back and innu his fur.

Ob course, he's so busy playing up on his "Noble Dawg" fing and horning in on my "Cute" fing dat he doesn't notis he's now fulla pellets.

And Maman says to Dadda, "Oh wook, Brian! Missy does the widdle bucket-mouf fing just wike Hunny used to do Isn't dat cute? I've never known anudder BunnyRabbit who did dat!"

"And she's spreadin' pellets out all ober da floor." Dadda adds, and you can just tell he's grumpy abouddit.

Anna Dawg suddinly reelizin' he's fulla pellets, is wike, "Hey!"

And MissyBun is wike, "Wookit, Dawg, Bugger off back innu da Kitchen. I'm diggin' for raisins heerin dis crock."

Anna Dawg is wike, "Well, I'm waiting for my cookies!"

And Mouse glares atta Dawg and snaps, "Well, wait sumwhere's else!"

And Maman sticks her fingers innu da pellet-crock, and Missy gets all concerned and she's wike, "Hey! What'reya doin'? Get'cher hand outta my pellets!"

And Maman is wike, "Don't shub my hand, Missy, I'm just trying to push your pellets back innu da crock, SweetieBun."

And so I quick stick my hed unnerneaf ob Maman's hand and then tilt it up, so her fingers slide down my nose insted ob fru Missy's pellets, and I'm wike, "Pet me! Pet me! I'm Cute! I'm Cute!"

And Maman calls ober her shoulder to Dadda, "Did you ebber notis dat Missy hassa pointed widdle face, while George hassa liddle square snout?"

And Dadda's wike, "Whut?"

And I wook at Missy and Missy wooks at me and we bof wook atta Dawg and it's wike, "Whutdaheck?" alla-round.

Because wif Maman, dese fings just come outta No Where, sumtimes.

And Maman says to Dadda, rilly patient-wike, "Did you ebber notis dat Missy hassa pointed widdle face, and dat George's face is more square." And den she adds, "I wonder iffit issa male/female characteristic, wike wiffa Catz."

So she calls Da Dawg ober to her.

And onna'count obba Fakt he finks dere's a cookie innit, he bounces ober to her and comes sliding to a stop on his butt, so dat his hed is right uppa'gainst her hip-bone.

And Maman says to Dadda, "See? Marc hassa pointy snout wiffa square end where his nose issa'tached."

And Dadda says, "Becos he's a Border Collie. All Border Collies wook wike dat."

And Maman finks fora minit and den she says, "But wif cats, females habba more pointy face. Wook at Phil's KayCee Kitty. She hassa pointy face, and so does Beep-da-Udder-Cat. And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat hassa square face, wike George-da-Bun."

And Maman wanders back my way, so I stand up on my toes and resume doing my Cute.

And Dadda's wike, "Charlotte, he's begging again."

And Maman, who is now srota concentrating on me, says to him inna absent-minded sorta way, "I know, Brian." and then adds, "But he's cute."

And she starts to take da lid offa da raisin can again.

But MissyBun is not notising dis onna'count obba Fakt dat she is deep innu da pellet-crock

And I'm finking, "Yeah! Da Cute is about to pay off!"

And Dadda says, "I wish you wouldn't do that, Charlotte. It only encourages him."

And in dat absent-minded way, Maman says, "Yeah. I know." and goes on, opining da raisin can.

And Dadda warns her, "If you gib to wun, you gotta gib wun to all."

And Maman says, wike she's sleep-walkin, "Yeah. I know."

And wif her long, come-frumma-store finger-nails, she scoops out a raisin and sort ob pushes it between my lips. So I wrap my lips around da raisin and scoop it right off ob her finger-nail and back innu my mouf.

And nobunny sees a fing.

And just as I'm chewin', MissyBun's hed whips around frumma pellet-crock and she goes, "Whut'chu got?" fru a mouf-fulla pellets.

And I mumble "Nuffin'." onna'count obba Fakt dat I am chewin'.

And Missy gib me "Dat Wook" and sticks her hed back innu da Crock.

Anna Dawg, who has been plastered uppa'gainst Maman's hip wooks up wif Big Bloo Eyes and says, "I seed dat, BunnyRabbit. And unless I gedda raisin, I'm gonna tell."

And Maman says, wike she's readin' da not-too-cryptic dawg-mind, "Raisins are poisonous for Dawgs. Markie wanna cookie?"

And all datta Stoopit Dawg hears issa werd "cookie", and so he goes bouncing away fru da BunRoom innu da Kitchin and stands by His Cupboard, waggin' wike mad, sayin' "Cookie! Cookie! Marc gedda cookie!" ober and ober. Which just goes to show you how easily the Border Collie train-ob-thought can be derailed - toss a cookie onna points and watch da trainwreck.

And I'm still sittiing inna Loaf position, chewing my raisin, and MissyBun is still wif her hed inna pellet-crock, ploughing pellets innu her mouf.

And I hear Maman inna Kitchen, saying toda Dawg, "Hokay, Marc, dat's all. All Gone." And I know dat she is showing him her hands, wif her fingers all spread out, so he knows dat he has had alla Cookies he's gonna ged, which happins to be Three.

And Maman heads off innu da Dining Room and I hear her say to Dadda, "Well, they have all had their treats."

And Dadda says, "I'll turn out the lights."

So he comes innu da BunRoom, shuts out Our Light and Maman and Dadda bof say, "Nite, Bunnies!" and Dadda calls da Dawg and off dey go to Bed.

And den I hear Maman again, "I love George's square liddle face! Did you see, Bri?"

And I hear Dadda frumma Bedroom, and he says, "Yes. I saw. But you rilly hab to stop dat - gibbin him treats whin he begs."

And Maman says, rilly bright-wike, "But it's so cute!" Dat square widdle face wiffa prehensile lips!"

And Dadda says, patient-wike, "Yes dear."

And you can hear da tension in his voice, and I['m finkin' to myself, "Yeah, but Maman allus wins, cos she's just so darned Cute!"

And den Dadda adds sumfing - and you know, it's worrisome - becos he adds, "But it's George we're talking about heer, Love. And George isn't wike udder bunnies. George learns..."

And I'm finnking, "Uh oh..."

---------------------By George.



Posted by Our Warren at 7:58 AM EST
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Thursday, 8 March 2007
George's Third Strand; Day Number 8
Now Playing: Da Sign ob Spring?
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Guess whut?

It is Spring in sum places allreddy.

Not heer, though. We still hab Sno heer at Our Warren. Da Dawg sed there issa'bout Three Inches obbit out inna Back Gardin, but that the air smells wike it is gonna ged a widdle bit Warmer an then the Sno will melt sum, and then Lake Harper will prob'ly come back (anna Dawg hates that!) and then it will prob'ly be Spring afta that.

So I'm waiting forda Furst Sign ob Spring!

Mr Mouse sed dat Spring blows Up frumma Souf (wherebber dat is), and Beebe-Bunny sed dat he heard frum Murphy frumma Herd in Kin-Tuck-Eee dat Kin-Tuck-Eee is inna Souf.

So mebbe da Spring comes frum dere. Or mebbe it comes frum where Sheeba libs wif Unkul Peter in sumplace called At-lanta.

I will hab to axt.

It is berry important to know where Spring comes frum, onna'count obba Fakt dat Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren hab to be 'Lert for it so we can sing da Bim Song when Spring arrives.

It is beery important to hab Trandishuns and to carry dem out. Dey are all part obba Lore, and Da Lore is whut tells us Who We Are and Whut We Do. Learning Da Lore is part ob being 'Tellygint. Which is how Bunnies grow.

So I'm keeping an eye and ear out heer for Spring.

I did notice dat dere are daffydills sticking up inna Frunt Gardin. Maman remarked aboudd'em da udderday. She sed dey are widdle green spikes alla'long da frunt obba hollyhedge. And I sus'pose dat since I also herd her making a Spa 'pointment forda Dawg and Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, onna'count obba Fakt dat dey are also due at Dr. Peter Batts for their 10,000 Mile Check-ups (and Maman sed dat she is NOT taking dem to him wooking wike da messes dey are!) it will be hokay to axt dem to habba wook atta Frunt Gardin on dere way to habba Ride Inna Car.

Dat way I can find out For Sure if da daffydils are coming up outta da ground and if Spring is rilly coming or not.

Wif alla dis Sno, it is berry hard to tell.

Ob course, you mite fink dat we Bunnies can tell whin Spring is coming, and we can, but only inna Gen'ral sorta way.

Beebe and Mouse are blowing their coats - which is berry gen'ral - onna'count obba Fakt dat dere is bunny-fluff ebberywheres.

Da Dawg anna Bof Catz are sheddin all ober da place, too. And Maman combed out her hair again last nite and told Dadda dat ebben she must be sheddin'. Dadda sed it was more likely stress caused by Da Children, but Maman sed it was prob'ly Spring, so Who Knows?

But shedding is only a Very Gen'ral Sign ob Spring. Dere is nuffin spescific about it.

Whut I am wooking for issa Wun Momint whenna Air Changes. You know whut I mean? It's when you sniff da air, and suddinly, it doesn't smell of ice and cold ennymore, but has dis soft smell innit, dis smell ob soil and ob sunshine, anna smell ob Growing Fings. It's a very Faint Smell, way faraway at first, so faint dat only a Bunny Nose can detect it. And wike, it's suddenly Not There one morning, and then onna Nextest Puff ob Breeze, it's *there*...and coming closer!

Like God touched a cloud and sent it on it's way for whoebber notices it furst to say, "Yeah! There it is! It's Spring!"

And mebbe it's coming up frumma Souf, and mebbe it just comes outta nowheres, but I'm going to keep my ears up, my eyes opin and my nose going - just in case - so I can be da Furst Wun to Notice da Sign of Spring.

---------------------------- By George.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:02 AM EST
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Saturday, 3 March 2007
George's Third Strand (2007); Day Number 3
Now Playing: Hoomins Shuldn't Do Dis Stuff
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

Da trubble heer issat most hoomins don't know Our Maman, anna wuns dat do know her, most ob dem don't know her as ennyfing 'cept Dadda's bondmate and Our Maman. Only a few udder hoomins axtchually know her and da few who do, shuld know bedda, but dey don't - which ends up messing us up - which issa main Trubble heer, you know?

In Fakt, oncest upon a time, upon hearing Maman talking berry serriusly  aboudda Buk she was reading onna "Impact ob Epidemic Disease on His'try", wun persun turned to Dadda and sed, "Whut does she care aboud Dat Junk for?"

Which made Maman mad onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman has spent a whole'lotta her life in "skool" learning da difference b'tween "Real His'try" (which takes werk) and "Junk His'try" (which "ebberywun knows") onna'count obba Fakt dat she finds "Real His'try" a whole lot more innerestin' than trying out new brands ob laundry detergent or reading inna cheep (cos you use'em to line da bottom ob birdies' aviaries wiff'em) noospapers aboudda Desparate Houzvibes running wild through da Neighbourhood.

So whin a few ob Maman's friends called her up to 'Lert her to sumfing dey thought wuld send her "Climbin' Uppy Walls" again, they were Right!

Which issa main Trubble dat we are habbin'.

Wun fing Maman hates is whut is called "Junk His'try" which is simmylar to "Junk Science" but not as pop'lar. Junk His'try is ushually found onna TeeVee, and in Buks written by sum guy named Dan Brown and in Moobies made by sum guy named Michael Moore who only lets himself talk.

I don't go to moobies, so I dunno, and I don't bodder aboud pollyticks if I can help it.

I do digest buks, but Maman threw dat Brown guy's buk inna recycle bin bifore I got to it. She sed, "Dust to dust." whin she did it, and then came by Our Habbytats and sed datta pooties were bedda forda roses than a ton ob dat (and nice, 'tellygint bunnies don't use da werd dat follows nextest!).

So, ennyways, Our Friend, Auntie Irene called up and sed to Maman, "Hold on to your knickers."

And Sheeba's Fader, who is Our Unkul Peter called up and sed, "Whutcha'fink?"

And dat preddy much did it.

Maman went and wooked inna Noo Yawk Times Noospaper wif me and we found a hedline dat sed, "“The Lost Tomb of Jesus” on the Discovery Channel tomorrow."

And whut dis was aboud is 'sposedly sum holes inna ground inna far-away place where there are bones, and sum guy who has filmed a sunk ship is saying dat he has discubbered God Downna Hole. And he has DNA and ebberyfing to Proob it!

And Maman was wike, "He's recovered 2,000 year-old DNA that he can compare to whut? With 100% accuracy? One hundred per-cent of what?"

And I sed, "I dunno. But he's a'hunnert p'cent shure he's gonna be on teevee."

And Maman sed, "He's 100% of an idiot. I hate Junk His'try! He's got sum boxes ob bones frumma Furst Century dat were dug up and discussed twenty years ago. And he calls dis 'New'?"

And Auntie Irene sed, "I fink it's funny."

And Maman sed, "Dere is nuffin' funny aboud hoomins spreadin' lies udder hoomins mite beleeb."

And Auntie Irene sed dat was sumBun else's karmas.

And Maman sed it didn't madder onna'count obba Fakt datta Emperor still had no clothes on and sumBun hadda point dat out

Well, so Maman readed more obba story fing to me and den she started grabbin Buks off her shelves heer inna Study. And preddy soon, she had Two Quotes anna coupla biblee-O-graphies wike dis:

>>>"Simcha has no credibility whatsoever. He's pimping off the Bible... He got this guy, Cameron, who made 'Titanic' or something like that—what does this guy know about archeology? I am an archaeologist, but if I were to write a book about brain surgery, you would say, 'Who is this guy?' People want signs and wonders. Projects like these make a mockery of the archaeological profession."<<< -  Joe E. Zias, archeologist,  Smithsonian Institution, advanced training for the study of Paleopathology; Hadassah (Israel) Medical School, post-MA studies in the field of physical anthropology;  Master of Arts degree in Anthropology, Wayne State University, Michigan; Bachelor of Arts degree, Wayne State University, Michigan. 


>>> "I've known about these ossuaries for many years and so have many other archaeologists, and none of us thought it was much of a story, because these are rather common Jewish names from that period. It's a publicity stunt, and it will make these guys very rich, and it will upset millions of innocent people because they don't know enough to separate fact from fiction." <<< - William G. Dever, American archaeologist specialising in the history of Israel and the Near East in Biblical times;  Professor of Near Eastern Archaeology and Anthropology at the University of Arizona in Tucson, Arizona, 1975 to 2002; Director of the Harvard Semitic Museum-Hebrew Union College Excavations at Gezer from 1966-71, 1984 and 1990; Director of the dig at Khirbet el-Kôm and Jebel Qacaqir (West Bank) from 1967-71; Principal Investigator at Tell el-Hayyat excavations (Jordan) 1981-85, and Assistant Director, University of Arizona Expedition to Idalion, Cyprus, 1991, among other excavations; 1955 graduate of Milligan College; Ph.D., Harvard University, 1966.

And she gots buks from dis Dever guy: Echoes of Many Texts: Reflections on Jewish and Christian Texts. Essays in Honor of Lou H. Silberman (co-editor, with J.E. Wright). Atlanta: Scholars Press, 1997.
For Those Who Sleep in the Dust: Archaeology and the Real World of Ancient Israel. American Schools of Oriental Research, 1997 

So Maman says to me, "Wookit, George BunnyRabbit, dis is whut I read, hokay?"

And I'm wike, "Uh huh. Yout got enny ob dose Baby Organic Carrots? I notised dere were none inna salads last nite."

And Maman wooked at me fora minit and she's wike, "Huh?"

And I'm wike, "Lookit, dere were no Baby Organic Carrots last nite. Are you runnin' out or sumfing?"

And I waved my ears around onna'count obba Fakt dat she finks dat is "Cute".

It issa Prooben Fakt dat you ged more treats when you are "Cute". 

And Maman sed, "You know, George, I fink you shuld habba bite ob cookie."

And I'm finking, "Well, dat's hokay, too."

So we wint Downnastairs anna tellyphone rang and it was Auntie Irene again, and she was reading Maman sumfing she found inna cheep noospaper aboudda Lost Tomb and more Junk His'try. And Maman readed her whut she had found frum those two perfessers and Maman and Auntie Irene hadda'nudder Long Talk - AGAIN!

With me anna rest ob Alla Us Togedder waiting there for dat bite ob cookie.

So Maman hangs uppa tellyphone and wooks at me, and I wave my ears inna Hopeful Wike Manner, trying once more wiffa "Cute" fing.

And Maman goes toda 'Frigerator and takes outta bag, pulls offa clip, pours sumfing out innu her hand and shubs it unner'neaf ob my nose.

And she says, "Would George wike sum Raw Organic Unsalted Sunflower Kernals?"

And I'm wookin' at dees fings in her hand wike, "Whutdaheck? I thought you sed dere was gonna be cookies!"

But apparently, there wassn't onna'count obba Fakt dat Junk His'try had driven enny thoughts ob cookies or Baby Organic Carrots rite outta her hed!

So heer we are, stuck wif Raw Organic Unsalted Sunflower Kernals.

Dere shuld be sum kinda law against dis stuff, lemme tell you!

------------------------------ By George

Posted by Our Warren at 7:37 AM EST
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