Well, there issa'nudder entry dat goes in dis "Hay Diaries" Blog bifore dis wun, but since Tripod is gibbin' dis "Small NZ" rabbit a hard time about postin' it, I'm putting it aside for anudder time when Maman and I hab more Patience. Onna'count obba Fakt dat ebben Togedder, she and I don't habba'lotta Patience atta best ob times, and dis isn't whut you'd call "Da Best Ob Times". (Maman is still sik...) It's not "Da Werst Ob Times," eidder. It's just wunna *those* times when Patience is sumfing Maman *is* rather than sumfing she hassa'lot ob...

Ennyways, since she and I are Uppystairs heer Togedder inna Study, and we BOF hab Thoughts, we hadda Fink aboud Who was gonna ged to Type. And...Since dis is MY Blog, I winned.

Yeah!

Well, I don't bemember dis direktly, but MissyBun told me onna'count obba Fakt dat she bemembers because she was heer, at Our Warren then, although she was just a YoungBun atta time, habbin' preddy much just arrived heer at Our Warren frum Unkul Michael's in Noo Yawk.

Missy sed dat Maman and Phil-the-Lad had just taken part inna Famous Tommy BunTucker Bunderground, moving Tommy BunTucker frum his old home SumWheres in Bis-Con-Sin to his Noo Forebber Home in Noo Yawk State. Maman and Phil had volunteered to drive Tommy in his liddle carrier frumma Pencilvainya/Maryland state line to the Pencilvainya town ob Scranton where he was picked up by Auntie Laura Garner to be taken to Auntie Laura Tucker and his Forebber Home.

And onnaway back frum driving Tommy BunTucker, Maman and Phil stopped atta Burger King onna Turnpike anna Pressydent obba United States said, "We are at war."

And dis made Maman afraid. MissyBun sed datta day bifore da Bunderground there had been September 11th, and the skies ober Our Warren had suddenly got silent, except forda huge fighter-jet-planes screaming over-head along da River.

Missy sed dat Maman spent a lotta time inna BunRoom dat day holding on tight to me,Hunny wif her face in his fur and he was confoozled and skert onna'cout obba Fakt dat none obba bunnies knew Whut Was Happining. Ebben Belinda couldn't ged Maman to look up. not until Dadda came home a long time later. This is onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman prides herself on not crying - so only da bunnies saw, and we nebber tell.

Ennyways, right afta da Bunderground, Phil-the-Lad went sumwheres toda Navy Recruiter. And dere wassa whole lotta fuss and bother, Missy sed, wif Maman gibbin da recruiter piano lessons so he culd play a song to impress his noo wife (and it was Sistah Beffy's brudder-in-law, Jeff, as it turns out!) and alla dat. And Maman made Christmas come a week early so dat Phil culd hab Christmas at Home bifore he left for Illynoy anna Great Lakes Naval Training Centre.

And Phil was all hextcited. He was going innu da Navy to fight for Freedom and for 'Murrica, and for Bunnies to be HouzRabbits ebberywheres.

And then the Day Bifore Christmas came and Jeff anna udder recruiters came and Phil left wif dem inna car. And Maman watched dat car pull away, and watched as it drove alla way downna street.

And then Maman closed da Big Frunt Door, and went innu da BunRoom, Missy sed, and then she opined alla habbytat doors and sat down onna floor wif alla bunnies in Our Warren and curled up inna widdle ball and cried her eyes out. And me,Hunny stood ober her wif Belinda, and although nobun knew Whut Wassa Matta. they all stood ober Maman and nosebonked her. Because Maman nebber cries.

Now dat was den, and dat was Private. And MissyBun says dat Mawmies crying for dere children is normal. All Mawmies cry, ebben if, wike Maman, they don't admit it.

But whut I don't unnerstand is alla Fuss dat is made now when a Person leebs for da Military or comes home on whut they call "Leave" or who just comes home. There are tellyvision cameras there and people wif big signs and ribbons and flowers and tables wif punch and cookies. And big parties wiffa'lotta "Welcome Homes" and people crying out loud.

And dis is all nice, and as it should be - forda Family and forda Mawmies, but why are there tellyvision cameras? Why is dis suddenly Noos forda Werld?

Can anyone of these hoomins bemember sumbun who came home frum VietNam, and who was booed and spit on? Can ennybun bemember sumbun who came home frum Korea and was ignored? Whut is dis sudden rush to shub a tellyvision camera inna face obba military person, not to say "Fank You for serving", but just to say, "Wookit, you're alive!"

Alla these people volunteered to serve. They read da fine print and they still signed their names onna line. They knew that they might get sent to sumplace dat was all desert, or dat dey might hab to float around inna Arabian Sea, but they raised their hands and swore they'd do it. Dey knew dat they wuld prob'ly ged a good eddykayshun, wike Phil got frum Drexel, but dat dey also culd get killed.

 
Dey are ALL good young people who are out dere serving voluntarily! Not one ob dem was forced to go; nobun shubbed a gun innu dere hands and den tossed dem outta a hareplane over a jungle. If dis was wike dat, den maybe dat Sheehan woman wuld hab a case for her terrible behaviour, but as it is, whut she is doing is just sad. Her son knew whut he was doing, just wike Our Phil. She needs help - she needs her warren to help her get the kind of help she needs. Whut She Doesn't Need is alla tellyvision cameras, anna reporters, anna media people who are exploiting her shattered emotions to make their copy. 

And alla dees boys and gurls are wike Our Phil, only now Our Phil issa Veteran and nobun cares about him, or about his knee wif 40 degrees ob lateral motion. But dat's hokay, becos Phil has Our Warren.

Nobun came to take pikchurs ob Maman when she closed da Big Frunt Door and went and curled up onna BunRoom floor to cry alone - and she wuldn't hab wanted dat. Why does ebberybunny assume dat it is Right and Proper to intrude on ebberybun? Nobun "shares" tears. Your tears are your own and your Warren's fur soaks them up. And your Warren pokes their noses close to yours to let you know that they're right there with you. Nobun else is with you - ebben if they try and pretend to be - only your Warren cares for you, just as you care for your Warren.

Because ebben wif tellyvision cameras alla'round, and photojournalists shubbing microphones in your face, and alla tape recorders runnng to catch a sound byte - ebben wif alla dat, you are OnAlone. Because Those Are Not Your Warren. Those things will all go away. The lights will turn off, the flowers will fade, the memorials will wash away in the rain. All of that public out-pouring of grief is nothing, and will come to nothing because it is not felt. It is not a warm nose that cares about you and about whom you care when alla lights have gone out and the Big Frunt Door finally closes.

Our Dadda came frumma Military family, too. Sumtimes he didn't see his Dadda for years atta time; sumtimes he went wif his Dadda to strange places and sumtimes he got shot at assa widdle boy in strange places wif his Dadda. He was taught not to make a fuss, dat dis was part ob being "military" - dat dis was whut made him dif'frunt frum udder kidlets. His Dadda was keeping Inkland safe and Our Dadda was proud ob dat. And just wike his Dadda, Our Dadda hadda job, too, and his job was to be strong, and not to lose his head and start screaming when he saw his Dadda. His job, ebben assa berry widdle boy, was to stand fast and straight and as tall as he was able and not scream or cry or act wike a baby. He was military and Our Dadda grew up to be independant and self-reliant - which is why dere is nuffin' dat he can't handle!

So when fings happin in Our Warren, Maman and Dadda face dem Togedder. Maman stands in frunt ob Dadda, and Dadda stands wif his hands on her shoulders. Dere issa pikchur ob dem togedder wike dis, and inna background, if you look rilly hard, you can see Phil-the-Lad, and Sistah Beffy wif Annastasia over her shoulder, and you can see Marc-the-Border-Collie, wif Cokie-da-Fat-Cat and Beep-da-Udder-Cat and den Alla Us Togedder inna background. We are, Togedder, whut makes Our Warren.

And if you look ebben harder innu da background, you can see Maman's Bim, and Dadda's Dadda, and me,Hunny and Belinda anna Ancient Dawg, and Maman's Granny and alla udder Ones Whos Went Bifore, stretching back innu Time - because alla dees are also Part Obba Warren. We are not only Ourselves as we are now, but we are also The Lore.

But Whut We Are Not is tellyvision cameras and "national mourning" and habbin' grief councillors to tell us how we are supposed to feel about stuff. We don't hab da "media" to gib us direkshuns about how to act or how to unnerstand whut touches us. We do Whut Seems Right and we do it Wif Each Udder. 

And we care aboud each udder and each udder cares for us - And THIS is libbin' inna Warren. It's Whut We Do.

------------------------------- By George 

Posted by Our Warren at 9:17 AM EDT

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Oh dear! Fings hab gotten entirely outta paw around heer at Our Warren!

Yeah!

For starters, BOF Maman and Our Dadda are sik.

Yeah.

And dat's why we're heer operating just onna bare fringes atta thin edge obba Catastrophe Curve.

Which issa very skerry place to be if you don't know whut you're doing. But Fankfully, Alla Us Togedder are preddy used to da Catastrophe Curve and know how to ride wun, but it's NO place for ammytures, lemme tell you!

Hab you ebber herd obba Catastrophe Curve? It's a phenomenon in Physicks where alla ellymints for disaster builds up, inna huge wave-like curve; where alla possybul fings dat could go wrong all begin to add up innu dis huge, heaving wave - just like a wave onna ocean -  and just out aheadd ob dat wave, where ebberyfing dat could possibly go wrong, sumhow, just doesn't. And dat, right dere just ahead ob dat wave, dat's where Our Warren operates - just ahead ob where da Catastrophe Curve crashes out onna graph.

It's wike dis:

Maman gets sik. She's gotta bad fever, and her head is all goofed up, and she is busy staggaring back and forf frumma Sitting Room toda Bafroom toda Bedroom. Anna Dawg is busy herding Concerned Catz away frum her. So she sorta finds herself inna Bafroom, head down ober da toilet fing, wif da Dawg on one side ob her saying,

"You got Catz nextest to you!"

And onna udderside, she hassa Concerned Cat-face staring at her saying,

"Why are you frowing alla dat stuff downna toilet?"

And ebberywhere she goes, dere issa parade of furry four-foots travelling in her wake - da Catz being converned dat dey will miss sumfing anna Dawg doing his best to herd dem sumwheres, anywheres onna'count obba Fakt it's his Job.

So Maman comes out innu da BunRoom and axts us,

"Whut are You Buggers wookin' at?"

And we're wike, "Since you're by da Frigerator, we'll hab a widdle sumfing. Fanks."

And because she is sik, and not "firing on all eight sillenders" (as she says), she gibs us all carrots, which is preddy good.

So den, she stumbles out innu da Kitchen and says, "Dadda is sik."

And we're like, "Uh oh." 

And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat wooks around and says, "I will go and sit wif him."

And heer is where da Catastrophe Curve begins to come innu play.

Cokie-da-Fat-Cat goes off towards da Bedroom, and right away, Beep-da-Udder-Cat is wike,

"Oh no you don't! If ennybun is gonna sit wif Dadda onna bed, it is going to be Me!"

Anna Dawg is wike, "Hey! No Catz inna Bedroom!"

And Cokie is wike, "So who made up 'dat' Rool, Dawg?"

Anna Dawg is wike, "Maman and Dadda BOF sed, 'No Catz onna bed.' Which is why you guys hab to sleep Uppystairs inna 'Partmint at nite and not down heer wif da Bunnies and me."

And Cokie sorta flipped his tail atta Dawg and kept on shambling downna Hallway and turned innu da Bedroom.

Well, da Dawg didn't like being flipped off byda Cat, so he jumped ober da Cat inna doorway, and cut him off just as Cokie was about to jump up onna bed where Dadda was sleeping. Sort ob. 

Because Dadda was awake enough to wook down atta Dawg and Cokie, and Beep-da-Udder-Cat (who had managed to ged innu da doorway) and say, "The lot of you can piss off."

And frumma Kitchen where she was trying hard to concentrate (onna'count obba Fakt dat her brain wasn't werking right because she was still sik) on making Dadda a cup ob tea, Maman calls innu Dadda,

"Is sumfing wrong, dear?"

And Dadda calls back, "Dere is nuffing wrong, sweedhart. Just the Catz anna Dawg."

So Maman, finking she wuld be helpful, calls da Dawg.

Soda Dawg doesn't know whut to do. He's busy doing Wun Job, which is herding Cats Outta da Bedroom, where dey Might be Planning to Ged Onna Bed - and now Maman is calling him, which is anudder ob his Jobs - answering her.

So he comes zooming out innu da Kitchen to see whut's up wif her.

And, ob course, as soon assa Dawg is outta da Bedroom, in go da Catz.

Anna Dawg hears dem, so he makes a flying dash to get outta da Kitchen, but he's right by Maman, who doesn't see him, and they sort ob collide atta rubbish bin.

And Alla Is Togedder are looking in frumma BunRoom, and so we're watching as Maman anna Dawg go staggering around da Kitchin, wiffa Dawg's toenails wooking for purchase onna linnollyum, and Maman wooking for balance onna'count obba Fakt dat she doesn't hab enny ob her own.

So Maman yells, "Darn Dawg!"

And Dadda sort ob wakes up and calls out, "Whuttsamatta, sweedhart?"

Which is when he notices dat he hassa Cat on his hed.

And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is purring, "I'm sitting wif you because you are sik." 

And Dadda yells, "Dere's a Cat on me!"

And Cokie is sorta wike wrapped around Dadda's hed wif his claws not hextactly out, but sort of gently grasping, wike his claws *could* come out and rilly hang on tight, if he wanted them to. And he's purring like a motorboat, telling Dadda how lucky he is, because Cokie *could* be lying ennywheres onna whole bed, but he has chosen to lie on Dadda's pillow, as close to Dadda assa loving cat can get. 

And alla sudden, Maman anna Dawg get untangled inna Kitchen, anna Dawg is pounding fru da Dining Room onna way towards da Bedroom, ears flapping, worried Collie-face on, growling, "I'm coming to save you, Dadda!"

And at That Moment, we hear Dadda yell, "Gerroffa me before I make you into two tennis rackets and a pair of furry slippers!"

And dere issa sound ob 40 pounds ob Screaming Airborne Cat.

And as Cokie hits da floor, da Dawg is dere is to meet him.

So Beep-da-Udder-Cat shoots outta Bedroom and makes a hard right-hand turn innu da Sitting Room. Cokie shoots outta da Bedroom and makes a hard left, heading for da Dining Room. Da Dawg comes flying out last, hesitates inna doorway onna'count obba Fakt he has to make decision about which direction to head, and dat's where Dadda runs innu his furry back-side.

And Dadda yells, "One way or da udder! Darned Dawg!"

And Maman is coming downna Hallway wif wunna does big cups of tea for Dadda, and she's watching da tea she's carrying, and NOT watching where she is going.

So just-in-time, Dadda grabs da cuppa tea, da Dawg zooms past Maman, scrabbles onnna Dining Room rug to make the hard left-hand turn innu da Living Room and you can hear him and Cokie-da-Fat-Cat thundering their way Uppystairs.

And then there is silence.

And Maman comes back innu da Kitchin wif Dadda following her and she's kinda unsteady wif her walking, and holding on to fings wike tables anna walls and stuff. And she and Dadda come out innu BunRoom and they sort ob pause and wook at Alla Us Togedder.

And Dadda says, "Whut are You Buggers looking at?"

And we're wike, "Well, since you axted, a carrot wouldn't go amiss..."

And dat's da Catastrophe Curve. And we're still just out heer ahead obbit.

------------------------------------- By George  .

Posted by Our Warren at 6:43 PM EDT

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So heer I was, messing around in Maman's Study inna Evening (which I don't normally do, but, well, since Spring is late, there's not a Whole Lot Else going on), but...

Ennyways...

And I hadda wook atta Natshunal Wedder Service wif Maman, onna'count obba Fakt dat Tidday turned out to be a Preddy Nice Day afta getting off to a Typical Noo Joisey start - cold, foggy, and kinda stinky onna'count obba Fakt there are guys outside putting down Noo Road. And, ob course, wif there being Strange Guys Outside, Da Dawg was Preddy Upset, whut wif them being right nextest to his property and all, and him habbin to tell Lily and Penny nestest-door (who are Young Dawgs and might not know Alla'bout Stranger-Dangers!) just how to go aboud makin' alla'pro'priate noises - and stuff.

Ennyways, it's been a Preddy Full Day.

And while Maman and I were habbin' a look atta Nashunal Wedder Service pages, Maman pointed to sumplace and sed, "Oh look, George! Dat's where Auntie Laura Hardy libs! Wif Boomer and Cricket! And Ms. Buns and Freckles and they were all friends ob Belinda Bunny's!"

So I hadda wook, and I'm wike, "Cool!"

And Maman says to me, "Auntie Laura hassa Blog, too."

And I'm wike, "So udder hoomins blog? Dis is encouraging."

And mainly, I mean dat, onna'count obba Fakt dat I fink blogging shuld be opin to ebberbunny, wike most Fings. I mean, although most obba Blogs dat I know are typed mostly by HouzRabbits, hoomin-typed blogs are good, too - 'speshully if the hoomins are also HouzBunny People.

So heer is where you can go to find Auntie Laura's Blog, called "Somewhere In NJ" which you shuld read.

Auntie Laura writes about her life in NJ, and about her bunnies, which is the main reason dat Alla Us Togedder fink dat Ebberybunny shuld read it.

Yeah!

And also dis evening Phil-da-Lad came ober wif sum Berry Sad Noos. It is sad onna'count obba Fakt dat Our Littest Friend, Furby-da-Hamster has left forda Rainbow Bridge.

So Phil brought her heer, to Our Warren, in her blankie, inna widdle box and he digged a place for her in Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Gardin, so dat she will not ebber be OnAlone ebber again. Not ebben hammies shuld ebber hab to be OnAlone, and Phil made shure dat once he rescued Furby, she was nebber again OnAlone. He kept his promise.

Heer issa Story Ob Furby-da-Hamster: Phil found Furby in Maryland whin she was being mistreated by sum Bad Kids. He stopped da kids frum hurting her, and went to dere Mawmies and Daddies and sed to dem,

"Your kids is pokin' an' hurtin' dis hamster. Dis is not right."

Anna Mawmies and Daddies sed to Phil, "You care so f-ing much aboudda hamster, den you take care obbit!"

And Phil sed, "Suits me."

And he taked Furby home wif him inside ob his pocket.

So he boughted Furby a habitrail and alla hamster-stuff, and taked her toda V-E-T, and got her all kinds ob hammy-stuff to eat and play wif and made tubes and nest-boxes wif habitrail stuff alla'round his apartmint.

And Furby-da-Hammy wassa Berry Happy Hamster.

And den Fruby moved frum Maryland to Noo Joisey wif Phil, anna Catz - Queen KayCee and Toby, and Munchkin. (I shuld point out dat KayCee owns Phil and has owned him since bifore he wint innu da Navy. She is about 10 years old anna Very Serious Kitty!)

So ennyways...

Sumwheres along da line (cos I just found out abouddit!) Phil rescued two Starving Liddle Kittens, Ozzie and Lilly.

And Furby was still going Strong, ebben though she was at least THREE YEARS OLD! And Phil has no idea how old she was bifore he taked her away frum Bad Children, 'cept that she was alreddy (da V-E-T sed) anna'dult. 

So she hadda Berry Happy Hammy-Life onna'count obba Fakt dat she was rescued!

So she went toda Rainbow Bridge very peacefully, alla'suddin, on her own terms, and met Belinda and Hunny and alla'udder bunnies and critters there Who Have Gone On Bifore, a Very Senior Hamster.

So tonight, we're lighting Our Candle for Furby. We will miss her, but we are happy for her, that she was Rescued, and that she hadda Happy Ending to a Gen'rally Happy Life wif Phil-da-Lad.

So, ennyways...

It hasn't been a Bad Day Heer at Our Warren. It started off grey and soggy, but then it grew bright and warm! And it was Calm and Peaceable, and Maman anna Dawg went fora Liddle Walk Togedder to see if they could find Spring. They didn't find it, but they found that there issa Promise Ob Spring ebberywheres (I just wanted to add dis in for my Cuzzin Ashy who alreddy has menny,menny dandelions and delicious herbs in his Wunnerful Gardin!). 

So this is good, too.

And while we'll miss Furby, we're glad that she's going to be Forever Hokay, and that she's gone on to the Real Forever Home in God's Great Warren (for we are Anglican bunnies). And we're happy for menny gifts Tiday - for finding Auntie Laura's Blog and being able to put it heer in "The Hay Diaries" - and for habbin' so menny friends ebberywheres!

Oh, and Wun More Fing! We want to wish a most blessed Passover to our Cuzzins Sheeba, Bailey and Janey, and to alla Our Friends and Relayshuns who are celebrating it beginning sundown tonight.

And Please, EbberyBunny, Bemember dat Easter Is No Fun For A Real Bun! "Make Mine Chocolate!".

So ennyways...

Dat's Preddy Much Dat. I'm gonna go see aboud Habbin' Sum Hay. If you want, we allus hab Sum To Share heer at Our Warren...

--------------------------- By George!

Posted by Our Warren at 8:33 PM EDT

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Hokay. I hab just aboud haddit.

I mean, I'm a gen'rally Patient HouzRabbit. Ennybunny who reads dis "The Hay Diaries" bog wif ebben passing attention knows dat Alla Us Togedder in Our Warren live inna MultiSpecies Warren, but dis is (as Dadda says) Gettin' Beyond a Joke!

So tidday, I'm sitting here, reading da Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online as I do ebbery morning wif Maman.

Now, I read it onna'count obba Fakt dat MissyBun, my Big, Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, happins to come frum Noo Yawk and hassa Whole Wotta Noo Yawk Bunna'Tude.

Yeah!

And Maman reads it onna'count obba Fakt dat she usta werk dere.

Just so we're clear.

Ennyways, so here we are, reading da Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online Uppystairs in Maman's Study, and Maman (who has control obba clicky-fing) clicks on a story called "No Pet Left Behind".

And I'm finking, "Oh good! A Pet-centrist Noos item. Ob *course* it will menshun BunnyRabbits."

So I'm reading, and it starts off preddy good - about Pets Who Travel. 

And I'm finking, "Dis is cool. Our Friend and Relayshun, Sheeba, travels and lets Unkul Peter come along to carry her Furrari for her onna hareplanes."

So I'm reading on - and so far, it's alla'bout Dawgs Who Travel.

And I'm finking, "Yeah, well, so dawgs happin to be da Most Pop'lar Pet. So Whut? We habba Dawg heer in Our Warren, and Our Dawg only goes preddy much two places: da V-E-Ts anna Spa, and mebbe to Rosedale Park or Around da Block, towing Maman onna leash (well, hokay, so I'm hextaggeratin' a widdle and he doesn't *tow* ennywun, but you know whut I mean!)..."

Ennyways, let's read aboudda bunnies!

And I'm finking dat mebbe dis Noos Item will menshun Our Friend, Ms Rudy Esquhare, who has passed her Salad Bar in Noo Yawk and who just got back frum visiting wif Our Cuzzins, Bailey and Janey, who hab Unkul Michael libbin' wif dem, while her Mawmie, Auntie Michelle hadda be Away On BayKayShun (see RIFRAF News onna sidebar).

Yeah, anna artykul is still going on aboudda dawgs and then it menshuns Catz.

And I'm wike, "Hokay, we're geddin' dere."

Onna'count obba Fakt dat Catz are da Sekond Most Pop'lar Pet ("Goodness' knows why!" Sed Missy.).

Now, dere are Two Catz in Our Warren: Cokie-da-Fat-Maine-Coon-Cat and Beep-da-Udder-Cat.

As Auntie Grace has pointed out, bof catz are solar-powered (they hab to lie onna footon, soaking up sun before they can manage enuf ennergy to do ennyfing). And as wiffa Dawg, they preddy much don't Travel Ennywhere 'Cept toda V-E-Ts or toda Spa, and Beep-da-Udder-Cat doesn't ebben hab to go toda Spa!

So I keep on reading. And I'm finking,

"All righty. Dis writer has menshuned Dawgs, and now Catz. Surely dis writer is now gonna menshun BunnyRabbits, (onna'count obba Fakt dat I hab gotten toda Pawt where she is tawkin' aboudda'commydayshuns for Pet Hotels)."

And I'm finking, "Hokay! I know Alla'bout dis subjeckt, onna'count obba Fakt dat Our Cuzzins frum Callyfornia, Beezer and his Bunwife, Sundae, (they lib wif Auntie Judith) allus stays atta lovely liddle place called 'BunnyLuv'. They ebben shared their Wedding 'Nanner there!"

Well, do you fink I saw One Werd Aboudda HouzRabbits in dis artykul inna "Travel" Sekshun obba Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online?

NO!

"No Pet Left Behind", my Small NZ white tail! You Left Us Bunnies Behind!

HouseRabbits are the THIRD Most Popular Pet inna'Merica, and there is not ONE WERD devoted to OUR Travelling, to OUR Comfort, to OUR Accomplishments, to OUR Unutterable Cuteness!

Whuttdaheck?

Where are the plates of Fresh-cut Veggies being placed out to welcome US? Which Airline is gonna offer Free In-Cabin Fly-Wif-Your-Hoomin? Which Hotel-chain is gonna realise dat WE are NOT "livestock"?

Hokay, so Maman and Dadda hire Pet-Sitters for Alla Us Togedder if they happin to ebben Fink ob Going On BayKayShun.

But lemme tell you, Da Dawg comes wif ONE page ob Instructions. Da Solar-Powered Catz come wif TWO pages ob Instructions (mostly hextplaining Why Cokie Horks).

But da HouzRabbits come wif FOUR Pages ob Single-Spaced Instructions, Inklooding:

• How to make Salads
• When to Feed Treats
• Who is Entitled to What
• Who gets What, First
• Whut to do IF.... (and dere's this whole, big, long list)

And that's IN ADDITION to "Emergency Evacuation Plans" just-in-case. (As Maman points out, "Saving the animals will be central to saving you.").

So, um, Wookit, Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online, dere are more to "pets" then just "dawgs" and "cats", hokay?.

And just so you won't fink dat I'm complaining wiffout trying to help (wike so menny bloggers), I'm finkin' obba artykul idea For You. How aboudda Small artykul aboudda Make Mine Chocolate?

Dat wuld be a Troo "PetS" (please note da plural!) dat EbberyBunny would want to read!

-----------------------------------By George

!

.

Posted by Our Warren at 12:58 PM EDT

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Well, assa Blogging BunnyRabbit, I habba innerest in keeping up wif udder bloggers who also happin to be typing inna Urban Blogosphere onna East Coast. And as I was reading, I happined to read a bog by sum hoomin who werks for sum hoomin fing called "Vanity Fair" who seems to habba Problem wif Inkwish.

Now I find dis sad on menny levels, and assa Longtime Observer Obba East Coastie Blogging Scene frum habbing been associated wif Wunna Da Furst HouzRabbits to ebber Blog Onna WerldWideWeb, Belinda Bunny (fum whom I inherited dis Blog), I feel I hab a Right to post An Opinion.

So here we go.

Frust ob All I happin to LIKE Inkwish hoomins Libbin' Onna East Coast. In dis, I disagree wif dis hoomin frum Vanity Fair.

Obviously, he has no Dadda. 

Onna udder paw, We heer at Our Warren do hab a Dadda and he comes frum Inkland, which makes him Inkwish.

And Our Dadda is Very Important to Alla Us Togedder.

Maman says she'd pro'bly hab curled up and died a wong time ago if it wassn't for Our Dadda, which is quite pos'ly Troo, gibbin the way she is allus talkin' to Da Dawg. She'd do much Bedda Axtin' Us.

Now, Our Dadda does drink a lotta stuff called "tea". It comes in bags dat go in big cups dat Maman says are only for him and nobun else has dem. He also hassa "kettle" dat sits onna counter inna Kitchin dat is also just for him. Dis kettle is eidder OFF and Quiet, or ON and whut Dadda calls "singing" or Whut We Call "growling". Maman says dat we Each Hear Whut We Hear.

Ennyways...

Now dis tea is Obviously 'Portant stuff to an Inkwish hoomin.Sumfing goes wrong, Our Dadda puts onna Kettle. Our Dadda wakes up inna middle obba nite, he boils a kettle. Da Cokie-Cat or Dawg does sumfing stoopit, Dadda calls dem "You Buggers!" and boils a kettle. He is ushually allus calling Maman onna cell-phone fing axting her to "be a deer and put a kettle on for me." Which, while she stays Maman and doesn't change innu ennyfing dif'frunt frum Whut She Is, she allus does. 

Our Maman can't do much, but she can boil a kettle wif da best obb'em.

But dere is nuffin' to complain about Dadda's Drinkin' Habits, hextcept dat we don't share dem. Dis is Hokay wif us onna'count obba Fakt dat we drink wadder. Keep da wadder coming and we won't make cracks about "Ewwwww! Tea!"

Fair is Fair. 

Now Maman usta lib in Inkwand, which made her anna'Murrican Adrift inna Foreign Land, which was Hokay because she felt wike she At Home (but where she was in Inkwand was preddier, she says, onna'count obba Fakt she says she's notta Huge Fan ob Noo Joisey.). As she says, "Habbin growed up preddy much in Phillydelphia and Noo Joisey, Manhattan was aboud as Foreign as you can get and still stay on dis planet."

And as Phil-the-Lad (who has libbed lotsa places wiffa Navy, inklooding Inkwand) sed, "Da fing is, whut madders is whut pooties you are used to dealing wif. It is allus bedda to deal wif da pooties you know. You can lern to deal wif udder pooties, but it takes more time and patience." 

And Bunnies know dat dis is Troo. It is allus harder to come to unnerstand unfamiliar pooties, which is why we prefer it if you leeb our habbytats As We Hab Dem.

Dis is sumfing dat da Guy Frum "Vanity Fair" doesn't seem to unnerstand.

Just becos he wikes his own pooties, udders hab dere own pooties dat dey also wike.

It doesn't make his pooties bedda, just dif'frunt.

Now dere is such a Fing assa Pooty War. And it can be a Grim Business.

A Pooty War is when Wun Bunny comes innu a Noo Warren and tries to take ober da Top Bunship frumma 'Stablished Top Bunny. Anna Wun Bunny begins to leeb a trail ob pooties outside da Personal Habbytat obba'Nudder Bunny. And den da Nudder Bunny responds wiffa trail ob dere own pooties. And preddy soon dere are two Walls Ob Pooties, and each Bunny Seeing Which Bunny Can Build a Higher Wall ob Pooties. 

Sumtimes dey leeb PeeMail, which can rilly begin to upset Maman.

Ennyways...

The Last Time dis happined in Our Warren was whin Mr Mouse challenged Belinda Bunny forda position ob Top Bun in Our Warren.

I wassa berry small Babby George, berry Noo to Our Warren and Belinda Bunny was a ten year-old Inkwish Spot Bunny. As Mouse says, if he had known Belinda had Cancer, he nebber wuld hab Challenged her, but ebben so, da two ob dem built two Pootie Walls dat , as Maman sed, were worthy ob two Buzwizer Clydesdales fed on good pasture.

Now Mouse says he *let* Belinda win. Dadda says Belinda wassa most Efficent Converter ob 'Salad-to-Shit'." he'd ebber seed on "God's Green Earth" and dat Mouse nebber stood a chance (mainly onna'count obba Fakt dat Mouse issa Netherlands Dwarf rabbit and Belinda being Inkwish hadda 'Natural'Vantage' ob prob'ly coming frumma 'Norf' which made Maman yell, "Hay!" and we all sed, "Hokay! Bring sum in!"). 

But dis is not da Point.

Da Point is dat Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren hab taked a Vote and hab decided dat habbin' Inkwish hoomins onna East Coast are mostly a Preddy Good Fing. Maman's Whole Family ob Hoomins arrived heer in sumtime called "1629" which issa Long Time Ago, and frum Inkwand, too. And Our Dadda came frum Inkwnd in sumtime called "2000". Our Warren was 'Stablished in 1996 by Maman, and Belinda Bunny, Proud Inkwish Spot Bunny, began dis "The Hay Diaries" blog in 2004 and I'm George, Small New Zealand White Bunny, the Easter Bunny left all OnAlone inna cardboard box atta V-E-T's, and I'm keeping dis Blog going!

And We are, Alla Us Togedder, geddin' Along.

And We are All Dif'frunt.

But We Don't Care! *Footflicks!*

You know, sumtimes, alla dees East Coast bloggers hab just got to Ged Ober It; dey use dere Gills to strain da Ocean ob Werds to Strain Outta Smallest Ideas! So heer is My Idea: Alla Us Togedder make A Warren.

It's Whut We Do. 

Whut I fink is Most Important is dat dere are bunnies imprisoned in outdoor hutches, and being sold as Easter Toys, and libbin' libes ob silent desperation while hoomin pollyticians fink dat Only Udder Hoomins madder and udder hoomins Just Don't Care! 

Will YOU remember "To Make Mine Chocolate" this year? For EVERYBUNNIES' SAKE!

----------------------------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 1:01 PM EDT

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Afta habbin seen Baby Annastasia, I hab notised dat we - bunny, kitty; dawg or hoomin - all start out da same: For a given *length of a piece of string* we all come innu dis werld da same way - nekkid, helpless and blind wif our eyes sealed firmly shut.

And den, inna given period ob *da length obba piece ob string* da eyes opin, dere is fur ob varying amounts and we start to lern.

And Whut We Lern is Whut We Hear frumma Elders.

I hab seen dis wif Baby Annastasia.

Maman sits wif her inna Living Room where Alla Us Togedder are not s'sposed to go onna'count obba Fakt dat it is full ob Anty-Ques dat are part ob Maman's Lore. So Maman sits inna Rocking Chair dat is part ob Maman's Lore and rocks Baby Annastasia back and forf. Anna Rocking Chair creaks, and dat creaking sound is also part ob Maman's Lore that she is passing on to Baby Annastasia, just like she passed it on to Sistah Beffy and Phil-the-Lad.

And I, who lerned Da Lore as it was told to me by me,Hunny (Senior Bun) can Respekt dat. When you are blind, nekkid and helpless, it is knowing Da Lore that helps you to keep on Growing 'Tellygint, which is Whut Bunnies Do. 

So Maman sits wif Baby Annastasia anna Rocking Chair inna Living Room creaks and teaches Baby Annastasia Maman's Lore.

You can see dat I hab dis Fing down, now. I unnerstand aboudda "baby" being Annastasia. MissyBun, Mr Mouse, Beebe-Bunny!! and I hab gotten to smell her and she hassa smell all her own, anna Dawg anna Cokie-Cat anna Beep-da-Udder-Cat all Rekognize her assa Member ob Our Warren, too. So we know Who She Is.

Whut She Does took a widdle more werk to figger out. Whut She Does, though, is whut All Widdle Fings do, which is to Lern Dere Lore.

Which is where dis Rocking Chair inna Living Room comes in.

Da Lore is lerned frumm Ground Up.

Maman was sitting inna Rocking Chair wif Annastasia, anna Rocking Chair was creaking and Baby Annastasia was watching alla Rainbows coming in inna morning. Because Rainbows are part obba Living Room, too, onna'count ob alla sunbeams coming fru alla Sperkling Glass dat is also part ob Maman's Lore.

And just as Baby Annastasia's widdle round hed was falling down asleep, suddinly da tall Standing Clock that ticks away Minutes and chimes alla parts obba Hours wound itself up and began to Chime!

Whoa!

And Baby Annastasia's hed came up and her Bloo Eyes wandered around and den fixed onna tall Standing Clock.

Anna Standing Clock chimed. And then went back to ticking away Minutes and Hours.

But it seemed wike a wonder onna'count obba Fakt dat Baby Annastasia is Noo Inna Werld and had nebber been so close to da Standing Clock bifore!

But da Standing Clock is also part ob Maman's Lore, just wike da Rocking Chair anna Sperkling Glass inna Windows anna Crystal Cabinet dat We are Not Allowed to touch. As me,Hunny told to me, Maman's Lore does not Touch Da Lore, so there is no need for Alla Us Togedder to Touch Maman's Lore. Whut is inna Living Room has no bearing on Da Lore at all, but we can look at it, without having to touch it or smell it (it is a widdle dusty, afta all!) or put our chins all ober it.

And dat is Hokay.

Maman will teach Baby Annastasia Maman's Lore as me,Hunny told me alla Da Lore - so we can go frum being nekkid, blind and helpless to being 'Tellygint. I'm still werking onnit, but I'm further along than Baby Annastasia who is Very Noo.

Da point is dat she will hab Maman's Lore and I hab Da Lore as it was told to me by me,Hunny. But our two aims remain da same: to Grow 'Tellygint.

And Maman will teach her aboudda HouzRabbits anna Lore, just wike me,Hunny teached Alla Us Togedder to Stay Outta da Living Room and Maman's Lore.

And parts obba Lore and Maman's Lore meet, you know. 'Specially inna Kitchen where there are Treats.

Yeah.

Wike where the Raisins are kept inna Cupboard and Where There Is Salad inna 'Frigerator. And aboud Whut Belinda Sed: "Da Bunny Is Allus Right", and stuff wike dat.

Dere are Sum Fings where Maman's Lore and Da Lore meet, and where they are stuck Togedder, and where Fings Are Not Changed:

• Da Bunny Is Allus Right
• Free Access to Hay, Pellets, and Clean Wadder.
• Safe Indoor Housing and Reg'lar Playtimes (wif TeeVee)
• Treats, Treats and More Treats
• Stay Outta Da Living Room (Hokay, we can do dat.)
  

Sum Fings Just ARE. And You don't Mess Wif Dem!

Yeah.

Anglican bunnies follow da media via to Canterbury inna Company ob Saint Francis.

So ennyways...

Baby Annastasia is Lerning Maman's Lore frum Maman inna Living Room, sitting inna Rocking Chair in frunt obba Standing Clock and hearing da Rocking Chair creak anna Standing Clock tick Minutes and Chime Hours. And dis is part obba Way dat Baby Annastasia Grows 'Tellygint.

But we ALL start out da same! 

Yeah!

And so dis is Whut Amazes me:

• How we start da same - blind, nekkid and helpless.
• How we Lern Our Lore da same - frumma Senior Elder (wike me,Hunny or Maman)
• How we habba same Goal In Mind - Growin' Tellygint
• We all habba Lore dat is 'Portant to Each ob Us Togedder - Bunny, Kitty, Dawg and Hoomin!
• And how Alla Lore touches, but nebber Oberruns Anudder Wun.

So we are, Alla Us Togedder, Members obba Same Warren, just dif'frunt.

But atta Same Time, Alla Us Togedder can't ignore Maman's Lore. Alla Us Togedder wouldn't go and smash Maman's Lore inna Living Room, or mess up her Rocking Chair or da Standing Clock that Ticks da Minutes and Chimes da Hours! Dat wuld take away part ob Da Lore as it was told to me by me,Hunny.

And Maman wuld nebber, ebber hurt Alla Us Togedder by throwin' us Out Innu Da Cold, or Fortygetting To Feed us.

Where Da Lore touches Maman's Lore, we are stuck Alla Us Togedder to make Our Warren.

Mebbe we wanna go innu da Living Room summa da times, but you know, we hab grown 'Tellygint enough to come innu Maman's Lore and to hab Maman in Da Lore. We ebben Share sum Lore, wike Da Lore Obba Rainbow Bridge. And we believe dat sum Day, we will grow ebben More 'Tellygint, and Da Lore and Maman's Lore will beda Same Lore!

Yeah!

But dat is not Now. For Now we are, wike Baby Annastasia, startin' Out da Same and Alla Us Togedder, Growin' Tellygint!

----------------------------- By George.
 

Posted by Our Warren at 12:32 PM EDT

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Well, Dadda hadda Nightmare aboudda Cokie-da-Fat-Cat fallin' innu da toilet and not bein' able to ged out. So Dadda god'outta bed, walked Uppystairs, putta'lid down onna toilet and came back Downnastairs to bed.

I found'dout aboud'dit onna'count obba Fakt dat I heard him walkin' around and *thumped* and Dadda yelled frumma Dining Room, "Shaddup, George! It's only me puttin' da lid down onna toilet soda Cat doesn't fall in!"

And I'm sitting there in my hay, finking, "Whuttaheck?" whenna Dawg cruises through, wooking for a DrinkObWatta, as he allus does when he's been sumwhere's wif Dadda - wedder Dadda wanted him or not. It's kind obba Collie-Dawg fing, onna'count obba Fakt dat it is wunna Da Dawg's Jobs to go wherebber Dadda goes, ebben if Dadda is only in his unnerwear and bafrobe.

Soda Dawg stopped by and haddda DrinkObWatta and sed dat he and Dadda had been Uppystairs, puttin' down da toilet lid so Cokie-da-Fat-Cat wouldn't drown.

So I axted him, "Was Cokie inna toilet?"

Anna Dawg sed, "No, but you nebber know whut culd happin wiffa Cat, which is why we was Up dere."

And dat's when I pointed out dat Bafrooms made No Sense.

I mean,

• Why habba room where it rains indoors?
  
• Why habba stone sink dat is raised up too high fora bunny to reach?
  
• Why habba swirly toilet pond dat is so high it hasta be jumped innu and once you're innu it, it is so low and slippery dat you can't ged out?
  
• What's da point ob floors dat are too slippery to run on?
  
• And why keep a baskit fulla nice, shreddable paper in dere, too?
  
• And why hang a roll ob soft paper onna toob onna wall?
  
• None obbit is bunny-friendly in any meaningful way.

Anna Dawg sed dat it was not Dawg friendly, but dat it culd be, 'cept Maman allus yelled her hed off if he went in dere to habba drink outta da swirly toilet pool.

"So whut's da point ob habbin' it? It don't hab Cat-cooties, mainly onna'count obba Fakt dat it is too high for dem. And too slippery." Said da Dawg. "So it is perfeckt for me. But Maman geds all stoopit and histerikal when I habba drink in dere."

"And whut's wif bringing alla rain inside?" Axted Mr Mouse. "Da hoomins run Inside da houz outta da rain frum Outside, but they go Inside obba Bafroom, take of alla dere clothes, and den ged Inside obba'nudder liddle room wiffa indoor rain on. Dat makes No Sense, but they do it On Purpose!"

And Missy menshuned dat there wassa "sink" also inna Kitchin. "And Maman puts stuff inna wadder to make sudz." She added. "Den she puts inna dishes. She ruins perfektly good wadder by puttin' inna sudz. You ebber smelled dat sudz-stuff? It smells horrybul. Den she puts inna dishes."

Anna Dawg just wagged his tail back and forf. "I dunno. But Dadda is 'fraid datta Cokie-Cat will drown inna swirly toilet pond Uppystairs if he doesn't putta'lid down. So dat's whut we were doing. Now I gotta go to bed so I'll be there in case Maman geds up and falls ober."

So da Dawg went off and we went back to our hay.

We had big piles obbit last nite along wif our salads. Maman sed datta Romaine didn't look "special" and dat she and Dadda wuld hab to go toda "Markit" onna'count obba Fakt datta herbs were preddy much Gone, too.

And Dadda sed dat wuld be "Hokay" onna'count obba Fakt dat dey hadda go to pik up Beebe-Bunny's meddysin afta they taked Da Dawg toda v-e-t's for his 10,000 Mile Check-up.

And because we're careful ob Beebe onna'count obba Fakt dat he issa Senior Bun and Not All There, we hadn't axt him aboud where he had bin inna carrier yet. He had come back preddy soon, but he was shakin' and berry tired, so we didn't axt him much rite den. But he waked up much later afta salads and hay.

And he had bin to see Dr Sharin! Yeah!

"And I habba small cold and not pneumonia." Beebe sed. "And Maman puts drops in my eyes, so I'm letting her. Whut else can I do?"

And he sighed and huddled up.

So I sed, "Well, you gots raisins."

"Dat is part obba RIFRAF Roolz." He sed. "Da Roolz dat Belinda Bunny was allus talkin' about and typin' onna Inner-net and Stuff. She wassa great one for Roolz. She typed down alla Roolz onna RIFRAF News page and was allus tellin' people to go see da 'Bunny Bill ob Rites'."

And you can read this Most Impawtant Dokumint Ebber Typed By Bunnies, For Bunnies, too! At http://rifrafnews.thehaydiaries.com which is it's new location from http://hawthorns_homes.tripod.com/belindabunnysbunnychat/ which is way too long obba URL, so I renamed it to make it easier for hoomins who are not used to such long names for things.

So, ennyways...

Beebe sed dat while he was at Dr Sharin's some vet-tech came in and said to Maman, "Well, which one do you want to weigh furst?"

And Maman, who knew dere was only Beebe inna carrier wif his Stuffie was wike, "Whuttaheck?"

And Dadda sed, "Dere is only wun bunny."

Anna vet-tech, who was leaning ober da side obba table-inna-middle-obba-room says to Dadda, "Dere are TWO BUNNIES in dat carrier."

And Maman is wike, "Nononono, no. Dere is Wun Bunny and His Stuffie."

Anna vet-tech wooked blank, Beebe sed.

So Maman went on aboud how Beebe had been bonded to Ms Clover and how Ms Clover had gone toda Rainbow Bridge, and how dat left Beebe-Bunny!! behind, and how Beebe had been all sad and lonely, so Maman and Dadda had put a Stuffie bunny innu his habbytat wif him so he at least had sumbun to cuddle up to, ebben though Stuffie was only a stuffie-bunny and not a Real Rabbit.

And then Dr Sharin came in and sed, "Whutta well-lubbed stuffie!" Which all goes to show you dat she issa Bunny-savvy V-E-T!

Anna vet-tech was confoozled, Beebe sed. He sed it wassa shame.

But ennyways, he was preddy glad to see Dr Sharin. That is, until she decided to take his temperachur. Beebe sed dat was preddy much whin he decided he needed to ged back innu da carrier wif Stuffie. It was eidder ged back innu da carrier or else climb up da sleeve ob Maman's coat, and dat wassa tight fit, so Dadda put him back innu da carrier and put Stuffie back inside, too, and they came home inna car.

And den Maman and Dadda taked Beebe out twice yestidday and oncet tidday to putta drops in his eyes and den he geds a treat, which he won't eat until they go away. He still wooks preddy sad, though, and that makes Maman werried. Maman sed,

• "George and Missy expect attention"
• "Mr Mouse demands attention"
• "Poor little Beebe-Bunny is surprised that anyone pays attention to him at all."

And this is ebben though she makes ebberybunny who comes innu da houz come innu da BunRoom and talk to Alla Us Togedder and gib us sumfing frumma 'Frigerator. But now Beebe is geddin' ebberyfing Furst. Mouse is settlin' for Sekond and we don't care, just so we get sum.

So dat's preddy much it for rite now: we're habbin hay, da Dawg is wookin' at his leash and winding up to ged hextcited aboudda "Ride Inna Car" although afta going toda Spa, and Beebe goin to see Dr Sharin da day bifore yestidday, and all, he rilly shuld know bedda! Maybe he rilly *is* stoopit. Dere's allus dat possybillity.

Oh, And No Catz hab drowned in enny toilets!

So it's a preddy Good Day!

------------------------- By George.

Posted by Our Warren at 8:50 AM EDT

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Well, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is unnerneaf obba footon in Maman's Study and he won't come out.

I told him, "Wookit, Cat. Dis is No Big Deal"

And he sed, "I hab suffered an Indiggity,"

And I'm wike, "So far as I know, Cat, you hab just bin toda Spa. So whut?"

And Cokie is wike, "I hab bin Humillyated."

And I'm wike, "Wookit, Dadda put you inna carrier yestidday morning...and you wint fora Ride Inna Car. So did Da Dawg. So whut? "

Anna Cokie-Cat poked his hed up and sed, "You don't unnerstand, George BunnyRabbit! You are a BunnyRabbit! Stuff wike dis doesn't happin to You!"

And I'm wike, "You are Rite: BunnyRabbits nebber hab to go toda Spa onna'count obba Fakt dat we do not get to smell wike Old Privy Carpets, as Maman says. She says dat if you did not smell wike an Old Privy carpet (whutebber *dat* is!) den you wuld not hab to go toda Spa. You only hab to go onna'count obba Fakt dat you smell."

Anna Cokie-Cat glared at me and sed, "So whutta'boudda'Dawg? Huh? Why does da Dawg hab to go wif me?"

And I sed, "Well, you herd Maman: Da Dawg has Mucky Paws. If he didn't hab Mucky Paws and hab them all ober her clean floor inna Kitchen, he wuldn't hab to go toda Spa, eidder. So dere you are. Plus, da Dawg was smellin', too. Dadda sed. Mucky Paws and Smellin'."

Anna Cat sed frum unnerneaf obba footon, "Wookit BunnyRabbit, I lib to smell. And now I hab bin Humillyated. I don't smell rite. I gots Spa Smell."

And I sed, "No. You stink. You stink wike Spa. Wike artyfishul flowers and perfoom and stuff, but you def'nitly don't smell - you Stink."

"I am s'sposed to Stink - wike Cat." Sed Cokie, in offended terms. "Dat's my Job!"

And just den, in comes Beep-da-Udder-Cat, hotly pursuded byda Dawg. He finks he's doing his Job ob Herding Catz, only Beep just finks he's being his ushual Pain Inna Butt. It's a Communykayshuns Problem they habbin't werked out for a coupla years.

And Beep jumps up on toda footon and she's wike, "I smell wike Cat and I don't hab to go toda Spa."

Anna Dawg is wike, "I went toda Spa and got Collie-Slick!" and starts waggin' his tail back and forf.

Anna Cokie-Cat sticks outta paw and takes a swipe atta Dawg-tail and says, "Goody fur you." and pulls back his claws.

And I'm wike, "Whuttsamatta? Whutdaheck is 'collie-slick'?"

Anna Dawg says, "I dunno. Maman says dat it goes on show collies to make dere fur shiney and slippery, so I guess it issa good fing. But it doesn't 'Half Pong' Dadda sed, so I guess dat's good, too, onna'count obba Fakt dat no udder Dawgs smell wike Me! And I bin All Ober da Back Gardin, spreading My Noo Smell ob Me!"

Anna Cokie-Cat grumbles again, "Well, goody fur you."

And Beep says, "I don't hab to go toda Spa, and I still smell wike Me."

So I'm wike, "Why don't you hab to go?"

And Beep is wike, "Onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman says I grow extry 'Arms' and 'Wegs' whin I am dere, which ends up costing her and Dadda more munny. So I don't go."

"Ebben though you stink?" I axt.

And Beep sed, "Yup. But I don't stink; I only smell ob Cat. You see, rite now Cokie stinks. Ob Spa, mostly. I smell, but dif'frunt."

"And you don't ged Mucky Paws?" I axt.

And Beep sed, "Dat's only for Dawgs.I mainly just smell."

And Cokie, still unnerneaf obba footon yeowls, "It's not fair! I hab suffered an Indiggity! I Stink ob Spa!!"

Anna Dawg, still watching Beep, who was sitting onna footon, says, "Just do whut I do - spread your stink around."

And Cokie wailed, "But it's not My Stink! It's Spa Stink!"

Anna Dawg is wike, "Wookit, Cat, it's da Stink Dat You Hab."

And I'm wike, "I'm a BunnyRabbit, and I keep my stink safe in my litter pan and chin it heer on alla stuff I can reach heer inna Study."

Anna Cat is wike, "But you don't unnerstand, they have gone and Taked Away My Stink!"

And I'm wike, "So whut are you gonna do aboud'dit?"

And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat says, "I'm gonna stay unnerneaf obba footon until My Stink comes back."

Anna Dawg hassa wook unnerneaf obba footon and he says, "Dat culd take awhile."

And Beep says, "And I will keep walkin' around, onna'count obba Fakt dat I still gots My Smell."

Anna Dawg says, "Well, I'm gonna just spread My Collie-Slick Spa Stink all ober my Gardin."

And I'm wike, "Waidaminit, Maman is onna tellyphone again. She's talkin' aboudda 'Catz' anna 'Dawg' and you are 'goin' sumwhere again."

And Cokie wooks up. "We alreddy bin."

And I'm turning my ears, and I'm wike, "Does 'Saturday' sound familiar?"

Anna Dawg is wike, "No."

And den Maman comes innu da Study frum Dadda's office and she wooks atta Dawg and she says, all bright-wike, "You're going to see Doctor PeterBatts, Marc. Do you want to habba Ride Inna Car?"

Anna Cat yells, "No! We allreddy BIN on ONE Ride Inna Car and dat went toda SPA! Dat car only goes to WUN UDDER place and I'm not goin' dere!"

And right away da Dawg starts to wag his tail and bounce up-and-down and starts his singin' - "Ride Inna Car! Ride Inna Car! I'm gonna go fora Ride Inna Car!"

And Cokie pulls himself furder in unnerneaf obba footon and tucks his paws up unnerneaf ob himself and tries to ged small, and if you listen really close you kin hear him purrin' nervously, "Oooooooh nooooooo! Noooooo Ride-Inna-Car! Not for dis kitty-cat! I'm not goin' for ENNY more Rides Inna Car!"

And then Maman piks me up and wooks at me nose-to-nose and says, "And Doctor Sharin wants to see you, too, little mister! How about a Ride Inna Car for you and Missy?"

And I'm wike, "Waidaminit. Hold on!" And my ears go up straight. And I call down to MissyBun who is browsing amongst da Buks in Dadda's office "Are you lebbin' enny stink?"

And Missy is wike, "No more den usual."

And I'm wike, "Well, cut it out! And ged in sumplace small! Maman wants us to go fora Ride Inna Car!"

And Missy is wike, "Ride Inna Car? You gottabekiddin me!"

So we're worried heer. Dere is entirely too much ob dis 'Ride Inna Car' fing going around...

-----------------By George.

..

Posted by Our Warren at 11:45 AM EDT

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So heer I am on dis berry mild Spring morning, doing whut I allus do, which is grooming MissyBun onna'count obba Fakt dat she is my Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns.

And Maman sorta staggers innu da Bun Room looking for her high-powered migraine meddysin inna refriggyator, onna'count obba Fakt dat she has woken up wiffa Rilly Bad Migrain for No Reason inna Werld, and Dadda is wif her onna'count obba Fakt dat she Mite Tumble Ober, cos she issn't walking too well becos her Hed hurts.

And Maman turns around frumma 'frigerator and she is wike, "Oh , how cute! George found the chalk mark!"

And Dadda says, "Yes, you know sumday we will hab to buy him a Box ob Coloured Chalks."

And they giggled. They allus say this onna'count obba Fakt dat MissyBun issa Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns and her back is mostly all-white so they fink I'm gonna loose my way while I am grooming her.

Which is preddy stoopit frum my point ob view onna'count obba Fakt dat I lub my Bunwife, and whin you lub sumbun you are keeping your eyes mostly on dem and not on you. Which is how you know you lub dem: look at where you're lookin' most obba time - You shuld be wooking at dem and dey are wookin' back at you!

Ob course dere are Times whin I wish Missy wasn't wookin' at me so close. Most ob these times involve Salad. Like whin Maman or Dadda puts da Salad innu our habbytats and da Salads are too close togedder and Missy wooks up frum eating alla her Parsley while I mite still hab sum Parlsey and she says,

"Whut'chu got?"

And I'm wike, habbin' to grab dat last sprig ob Parlsey inna-hurry before she reaches ober to grab it, or I hab to sit on dat last Baby Organic Carrot so she doesn't see dat I hab wun while I'm mugging for a pet.

Missy is not above sneaking dat wast Baby Organic Carrot out frum unnerneaf my butt if she has alreddy eaten alla hers. Dat bunnygurl lubs her Baby Organic Carrots, lemme tell you!

But dat is also part ob lub: Knowing when you hab to sit on sumfing onna'count obba Udder Wun.

Maman was just beminding Phil-da-Lad ob whin he was small and Sistah Beffy was small and Maman usta hab to put dere names on boxes ob Cereal so each wun had wun and nobun got more cereal den ennybunny else.

Maman sed dat prevented Fings Frum Happinen, wike sumbun pouring outta bowl ob RaisinBran dat was all Bran and No Raisins, or pouring out a bowl ob Lucky Charms wif Marshmallows dat was all Lucky Charms and No Marshmallows.

Yeah...  

So I gotta be on my toes whin Salad arrives.

It's not so bad for Mr Mouse or for Beebe, who lib in dere own habbytats... although Beebe says he hasta keep on his toes around Stuffie, but being a Small Bunny it's sumtimes almost Impossible for him to ged alla dat Salad down at One Time, even though he's eating as fast as he can.

Luckily, Stuffie doesn't seem to eat much, or steal Baby Organic Carrots out frum unnerneaf ob him - which is kinda bedder den whin he was libbin' wif Ms Clover, who usta just flip him innu da air and snatch da Baby Orgainc Carrot if she hadda mind to, onna'count obba Fakt dat she was anudder Big Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns.

But onna'udder-side obba coin, Clover usta also be dere da sekond Beebe sneezed or ennyfing and allus kept her eyes mainly on Beebe and not on herself - which is how she would see he had enny Baby Organic Carrots, ennyways. Dis was onna'count obba Fakt dat she lubbed him so much dat she was allus watchin' ober him so dat he stayed Perfektly Groomed, which Stuffie doesn't seem to do onna'count obba Fakt dat she issa Stuffie and not da same assa bunny although she wooks wike wun.

Beebe has tried peeing on her (descreetly) so dat she smells right, just wike da rest ob Our Warren (even da Dawg), but she still is not acting hextactly right - although she still preddy much stands ober Salad which makes Beebe hab to eat as much assa Small BunnyRabbit can hold at Wun Sitting

Which is why he was yellin' at Maman last nite, "YO! Gedouttaheer so I can eat, will ya?"

And dat is while Maman was standing there saying to Daddy, "Oh look at Beebe! Isn't he adorable? Maman's poor widdle sweetie..."

And Beebe's wike, "YO! Wady! GeddaheckOUT!"

And Maman's still hanging around, talkin' to Dadda and sayiing how "cute" we are... which *shuld* hab translated innu a coupla more Baby Organic Carrots for each bunny, but sumfing got lost in translation and it didn't.

In Fakt, da only fing New dat happined Yestidday was dat Mouse gotta new Cardboard fing to beat up on.

Yeah! And Guess Whut else?

You know Auntie Irene who comes in heer and talks to Mouse? Da friend ob Maman's who hassa Cat and who also feeds Catz she doesn't ebben know? And she issa 'fraid obba bunnies onna'count obba Fakt she finks we are "dellycat" (whutebber *dat* means!).

And she says Mr Mouse is her favourite onna'count obba Fakt dat he glares at her and grunts and honks at her. Dis is beacuse she has nebber seed a Vocal Rabbit, and Mr Mouse issa berry Vocal Houz Rabbit.

Well, she comed in heer innu da Bun Room a coupla days ago and waved sum scraps ob paper in frunt ob Mouse and sed, "Are you feeling lucky, Mr Mouse?"

And Mouse was wike, "I'm feeling wike you're invading my property. Ged out." and got all resentful onna'count obba Fakt dat she didn't bring him a raisin or carrot or ennyfing. And she smelled wike Catz!

But ennyways...

Auntie Irene went on, waving da scraps ob paper and axting Mouse if he felt lucky.

So Mouse is dere wike, "Lookit, wady..." and honked, just to show her dat he didn't feel like being bothered just then if she didn't hab ennyfing she wanted to gib him.

And Auntie Irene is going, "Pick a ticket, Mouse. Come on, are you going to pick a lucky ticket for me?"

And finally, Mouse is wike, "Yeah, I'll 'pick' a ticket for you.. TAKE THAT!"

And he lunged at her and took a nice chunk outta one obba scraps ob paper.

And den she wike, giggled at him, and she goes, "Are you shure? Issat da wun you want?"

And Mouse is wike, "I'm shure I want you outta my face wif dose tickets!" and he honked again.

So, finally, Auntie Irene taked da hint and went off wiffa scraps ob paper she called "tickets".

Well, yestidday, she calls up Maman and tells her, "Guess whut?"

And Maman is wike, "Whut?"

And Auntie Irene says, "Your rabbit won da Pick Three."

And Maman is wike, "Whutdaheck issat?"

And Auntie Irene goes, "Mouse's number came out. He's a lucky bunny. He won the Daily Number. He's knee-deep in carrots."

And Maman is wike, "Dat's not deep - he's a short rabbit."

And Auntie Irene is wike, "Then he's butt-deep in carrots."

And Maman says, "Dat's still not berry deep. He's a Netherlands Dwarf Rabbit."

And Auntie Irene says, "I don't gibba hoot Whut Kind Ob Bunny he is! He's a Lucky Rabbit! Serriusly, he won the Pick Three. He rilly did. I'll be over later and we'll see how lucky he rilly is - I'm gonna play anudder game and let him pick anudder number."

And Maman sed, "Just bemember, Mouse issa Anglican Bunny. I don't think and I don't fink he's s'sposed to be playing da lottery."

And Auntie Irene sed, "Dat's hokay. Jeremiah Winslow, my cat, issa Catholic cat so he's at least hexpected to play Bingo. So we'll let Mouse mention the number and then Jeremiah can buy the ticket and they can split the proceeds..."

And Maman finks fora minute and den she says, "But only if they both put 10% of their winnings innu da Alms basin."

And dat was hokay wif Auntie Irene.

So dat was preddy much dat...

And Maman sed it's dat you end up keeping your eyes on whut you lub, even if it's only inna gently funny way, dat where you look is Important. 

She sed to us, "Modeste Mussorgsky who wrote beautiful musiks allus sed, 'Tell me whom you lub and I'll tell you who you are.' and dat we allus look most oftin atta fing or person we lub most. 

And if we are wooking at ourselves alla time, den we don't hab time to wook at anudderbunny...

And den I guess we would need those boxes ob coloured chalks to figger out where we left off grooming and where to begin nextest...

-------------------------- By George. .

Posted by Our Warren at 8:13 AM EDT

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You godda hab anna'prisyhayshun forda Daynamic at Our Warren: one commint frum Maman can start a Whole Chain ob Events and she doesn't ebben hab to be Trying To Start Ennyfing!

Wike Last Nite...

I was werkin' on my "Cute", you know, wike I do, and MissyBun was digging innu da pellet-crock, wike she does, and Mr Mouse and Beebe were just picking at their Raisins one-atta-time and watching Da Dawg clogging uppa doorway toda BunRoom as Maman was trying to put da lid onna Raisin container.

Reg'lar nite inna Warren at Bunny Bedtime.

So I'm werkin' on my Cute and standing up on my toes, wif my nose up-inn-air, whiskers wigglin'.

And Maman goes, "Oh Brian, wook at him!"

And Dadda comes and wooks and he grunts, "Charlotte, he's begging."

And Maman opins uppa Habbytat and starts petting my hed, so I whuffle her hand (still standin' on my toes, you know) and her fingers, being rilly careful not to make MissyBun's mistake and nibble on her come-frumma-store finger-nails (which are painted "garnet" dis week to match sum earrings Auntie Irene had gibbed her for her birfday awhile back).

And Maman hextclaims, "He's so cute!"

And Dadda grumbles, "But he's begging."

Anna stoopit Dawg starts to horn in on my Cute by placing himself rite *dere* at Maman's feets, sitting down and wooking up wike "Noble Dawg" innu her eyes.

And I'm busy whuffling her fingers wif my whiskers.

So MissyBun opins her mouf and digs deep innu da pellet-crock, shovelling in as menny pellets as she can. Anna whole wave ob pellets gets pushed ober da side obba crock out onna floor and goes bouncing down da Dawg's neck, ober his back and innu his fur.

Ob course, he's so busy playing up on his "Noble Dawg" fing and horning in on my "Cute" fing dat he doesn't notis he's now fulla pellets.

And Maman says to Dadda, "Oh wook, Brian! Missy does the widdle bucket-mouf fing just wike Hunny used to do Isn't dat cute? I've never known anudder BunnyRabbit who did dat!"

"And she's spreadin' pellets out all ober da floor." Dadda adds, and you can just tell he's grumpy abouddit.

Anna Dawg suddinly reelizin' he's fulla pellets, is wike, "Hey!"

And MissyBun is wike, "Wookit, Dawg, Bugger off back innu da Kitchen. I'm diggin' for raisins heerin dis crock."

Anna Dawg is wike, "Well, I'm waiting for my cookies!"

And Mouse glares atta Dawg and snaps, "Well, wait sumwhere's else!"

And Maman sticks her fingers innu da pellet-crock, and Missy gets all concerned and she's wike, "Hey! What'reya doin'? Get'cher hand outta my pellets!"

And Maman is wike, "Don't shub my hand, Missy, I'm just trying to push your pellets back innu da crock, SweetieBun."

And so I quick stick my hed unnerneaf ob Maman's hand and then tilt it up, so her fingers slide down my nose insted ob fru Missy's pellets, and I'm wike, "Pet me! Pet me! I'm Cute! I'm Cute!"

And Maman calls ober her shoulder to Dadda, "Did you ebber notis dat Missy hassa pointed widdle face, while George hassa liddle square snout?"

And Dadda's wike, "Whut?"

And I wook at Missy and Missy wooks at me and we bof wook atta Dawg and it's wike, "Whutdaheck?" alla-round.

Because wif Maman, dese fings just come outta No Where, sumtimes.

And Maman says to Dadda, rilly patient-wike, "Did you ebber notis dat Missy hassa pointed widdle face, and dat George's face is more square." And den she adds, "I wonder iffit issa male/female characteristic, wike wiffa Catz."

So she calls Da Dawg ober to her.

And onna'count obba Fakt he finks dere's a cookie innit, he bounces ober to her and comes sliding to a stop on his butt, so dat his hed is right uppa'gainst her hip-bone.

And Maman says to Dadda, "See? Marc hassa pointy snout wiffa square end where his nose issa'tached."

And Dadda says, "Becos he's a Border Collie. All Border Collies wook wike dat."

And Maman finks fora minit and den she says, "But wif cats, females habba more pointy face. Wook at Phil's KayCee Kitty. She hassa pointy face, and so does Beep-da-Udder-Cat. And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat hassa square face, wike George-da-Bun."

And Maman wanders back my way, so I stand up on my toes and resume doing my Cute.

And Dadda's wike, "Charlotte, he's begging again."

And Maman, who is now srota concentrating on me, says to him inna absent-minded sorta way, "I know, Brian." and then adds, "But he's cute."

And she starts to take da lid offa da raisin can again.

But MissyBun is not notising dis onna'count obba Fakt dat she is deep innu da pellet-crock

And I'm finking, "Yeah! Da Cute is about to pay off!"

And Dadda says, "I wish you wouldn't do that, Charlotte. It only encourages him."

And in dat absent-minded way, Maman says, "Yeah. I know." and goes on, opining da raisin can.

And Dadda warns her, "If you gib to wun, you gotta gib wun to all."

And Maman says, wike she's sleep-walkin, "Yeah. I know."

And wif her long, come-frumma-store finger-nails, she scoops out a raisin and sort ob pushes it between my lips. So I wrap my lips around da raisin and scoop it right off ob her finger-nail and back innu my mouf.

And nobunny sees a fing.

And just as I'm chewin', MissyBun's hed whips around frumma pellet-crock and she goes, "Whut'chu got?" fru a mouf-fulla pellets.

And I mumble "Nuffin'." onna'count obba Fakt dat I am chewin'.

And Missy gib me "Dat Wook" and sticks her hed back innu da Crock.

Anna Dawg, who has been plastered uppa'gainst Maman's hip wooks up wif Big Bloo Eyes and says, "I seed dat, BunnyRabbit. And unless I gedda raisin, I'm gonna tell."

And Maman says, wike she's readin' da not-too-cryptic dawg-mind, "Raisins are poisonous for Dawgs. Markie wanna cookie?"

And all datta Stoopit Dawg hears issa werd "cookie", and so he goes bouncing away fru da BunRoom innu da Kitchin and stands by His Cupboard, waggin' wike mad, sayin' "Cookie! Cookie! Marc gedda cookie!" ober and ober. Which just goes to show you how easily the Border Collie train-ob-thought can be derailed - toss a cookie onna points and watch da trainwreck.

And I'm still sittiing inna Loaf position, chewing my raisin, and MissyBun is still wif her hed inna pellet-crock, ploughing pellets innu her mouf.

And I hear Maman inna Kitchen, saying toda Dawg, "Hokay, Marc, dat's all. All Gone." And I know dat she is showing him her hands, wif her fingers all spread out, so he knows dat he has had alla Cookies he's gonna ged, which happins to be Three.

And Maman heads off innu da Dining Room and I hear her say to Dadda, "Well, they have all had their treats."

And Dadda says, "I'll turn out the lights."

So he comes innu da BunRoom, shuts out Our Light and Maman and Dadda bof say, "Nite, Bunnies!" and Dadda calls da Dawg and off dey go to Bed.

And den I hear Maman again, "I love George's square liddle face! Did you see, Bri?"

And I hear Dadda frumma Bedroom, and he says, "Yes. I saw. But you rilly hab to stop dat - gibbin him treats whin he begs."

And Maman says, rilly bright-wike, "But it's so cute!" Dat square widdle face wiffa prehensile lips!"

And Dadda says, patient-wike, "Yes dear."

And you can hear da tension in his voice, and I['m finkin' to myself, "Yeah, but Maman allus wins, cos she's just so darned Cute!"

And den Dadda adds sumfing - and you know, it's worrisome - becos he adds, "But it's George we're talking about heer, Love. And George isn't wike udder bunnies. George learns..."

And I'm finnking, "Uh oh..."

---------------------By George.

Posted by Our Warren at 7:58 AM EST

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Guess whut?

It is Spring in sum places allreddy.

Not heer, though. We still hab Sno heer at Our Warren. Da Dawg sed there issa'bout Three Inches obbit out inna Back Gardin, but that the air smells wike it is gonna ged a widdle bit Warmer an then the Sno will melt sum, and then Lake Harper will prob'ly come back (anna Dawg hates that!) and then it will prob'ly be Spring afta that.

So I'm waiting forda Furst Sign ob Spring!

Mr Mouse sed dat Spring blows Up frumma Souf (wherebber dat is), and Beebe-Bunny sed dat he heard frum Murphy frumma Herd in Kin-Tuck-Eee dat Kin-Tuck-Eee is inna Souf.

So mebbe da Spring comes frum dere. Or mebbe it comes frum where Sheeba libs wif Unkul Peter in sumplace called At-lanta.

I will hab to axt.

It is berry important to know where Spring comes frum, onna'count obba Fakt dat Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren hab to be 'Lert for it so we can sing da Bim Song when Spring arrives.

It is beery important to hab Trandishuns and to carry dem out. Dey are all part obba Lore, and Da Lore is whut tells us Who We Are and Whut We Do. Learning Da Lore is part ob being 'Tellygint. Which is how Bunnies grow.

So I'm keeping an eye and ear out heer for Spring.

I did notice dat dere are daffydills sticking up inna Frunt Gardin. Maman remarked aboudd'em da udderday. She sed dey are widdle green spikes alla'long da frunt obba hollyhedge. And I sus'pose dat since I also herd her making a Spa 'pointment forda Dawg and Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, onna'count obba Fakt dat dey are also due at Dr. Peter Batts for their 10,000 Mile Check-ups (and Maman sed dat she is NOT taking dem to him wooking wike da messes dey are!) it will be hokay to axt dem to habba wook atta Frunt Gardin on dere way to habba Ride Inna Car.

Dat way I can find out For Sure if da daffydils are coming up outta da ground and if Spring is rilly coming or not.

Wif alla dis Sno, it is berry hard to tell.

Ob course, you mite fink dat we Bunnies can tell whin Spring is coming, and we can, but only inna Gen'ral sorta way.

Beebe and Mouse are blowing their coats - which is berry gen'ral - onna'count obba Fakt dat dere is bunny-fluff ebberywheres.

Da Dawg anna Bof Catz are sheddin all ober da place, too. And Maman combed out her hair again last nite and told Dadda dat ebben she must be sheddin'. Dadda sed it was more likely stress caused by Da Children, but Maman sed it was prob'ly Spring, so Who Knows?

But shedding is only a Very Gen'ral Sign ob Spring. Dere is nuffin spescific about it.

Whut I am wooking for issa Wun Momint whenna Air Changes. You know whut I mean? It's when you sniff da air, and suddinly, it doesn't smell of ice and cold ennymore, but has dis soft smell innit, dis smell ob soil and ob sunshine, anna smell ob Growing Fings. It's a very Faint Smell, way faraway at first, so faint dat only a Bunny Nose can detect it. And wike, it's suddenly Not There one morning, and then onna Nextest Puff ob Breeze, it's *there*...and coming closer!

Like God touched a cloud and sent it on it's way for whoebber notices it furst to say, "Yeah! There it is! It's Spring!"

And mebbe it's coming up frumma Souf, and mebbe it just comes outta nowheres, but I'm going to keep my ears up, my eyes opin and my nose going - just in case - so I can be da Furst Wun to Notice da Sign of Spring.

---------------------------- By George.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:02 AM EST

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Da trubble heer issat most hoomins don't know Our Maman, anna wuns dat do know her, most ob dem don't know her as ennyfing 'cept Dadda's bondmate and Our Maman. Only a few udder hoomins axtchually know her and da few who do, shuld know bedda, but dey don't - which ends up messing us up - which issa main Trubble heer, you know?

In Fakt, oncest upon a time, upon hearing Maman talking berry serriusly  aboudda Buk she was reading onna "Impact ob Epidemic Disease on His'try", wun persun turned to Dadda and sed, "Whut does she care aboud Dat Junk for?"

Which made Maman mad onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman has spent a whole'lotta her life in "skool" learning da difference b'tween "Real His'try" (which takes werk) and "Junk His'try" (which "ebberywun knows") onna'count obba Fakt dat she finds "Real His'try" a whole lot more innerestin' than trying out new brands ob laundry detergent or reading inna cheep (cos you use'em to line da bottom ob birdies' aviaries wiff'em) noospapers aboudda Desparate Houzvibes running wild through da Neighbourhood.

So whin a few ob Maman's friends called her up to 'Lert her to sumfing dey thought wuld send her "Climbin' Uppy Walls" again, they were Right!

Which issa main Trubble dat we are habbin'.

Wun fing Maman hates is whut is called "Junk His'try" which is simmylar to "Junk Science" but not as pop'lar. Junk His'try is ushually found onna TeeVee, and in Buks written by sum guy named Dan Brown and in Moobies made by sum guy named Michael Moore who only lets himself talk.

I don't go to moobies, so I dunno, and I don't bodder aboud pollyticks if I can help it.

I do digest buks, but Maman threw dat Brown guy's buk inna recycle bin bifore I got to it. She sed, "Dust to dust." whin she did it, and then came by Our Habbytats and sed datta pooties were bedda forda roses than a ton ob dat (and nice, 'tellygint bunnies don't use da werd dat follows nextest!).

So, ennyways, Our Friend, Auntie Irene called up and sed to Maman, "Hold on to your knickers."

And Sheeba's Fader, who is Our Unkul Peter called up and sed, "Whutcha'fink?"

And dat preddy much did it.

Maman went and wooked inna Noo Yawk Times Noospaper wif me and we found a hedline dat sed, "“The Lost Tomb of Jesus” on the Discovery Channel tomorrow."

And whut dis was aboud is 'sposedly sum holes inna ground inna far-away place where there are bones, and sum guy who has filmed a sunk ship is saying dat he has discubbered God Downna Hole. And he has DNA and ebberyfing to Proob it!

And Maman was wike, "He's recovered 2,000 year-old DNA that he can compare to whut? With 100% accuracy? One hundred per-cent of what?"

And I sed, "I dunno. But he's a'hunnert p'cent shure he's gonna be on teevee."

And Maman sed, "He's 100% of an idiot. I hate Junk His'try! He's got sum boxes ob bones frumma Furst Century dat were dug up and discussed twenty years ago. And he calls dis 'New'?"

And Auntie Irene sed, "I fink it's funny."

And Maman sed, "Dere is nuffin' funny aboud hoomins spreadin' lies udder hoomins mite beleeb."

And Auntie Irene sed dat was sumBun else's karmas.

And Maman sed it didn't madder onna'count obba Fakt datta Emperor still had no clothes on and sumBun hadda point dat out. 

Well, so Maman readed more obba story fing to me and den she started grabbin Buks off her shelves heer inna Study. And preddy soon, she had Two Quotes anna coupla biblee-O-graphies wike dis:

>>>"Simcha has no credibility whatsoever. He's pimping off the Bible... He got this guy, Cameron, who made 'Titanic' or something like that—what does this guy know about archeology? I am an archaeologist, but if I were to write a book about brain surgery, you would say, 'Who is this guy?' People want signs and wonders. Projects like these make a mockery of the archaeological profession."<<< -  Joe E. Zias, archeologist,  Smithsonian Institution, advanced training for the study of Paleopathology; Hadassah (Israel) Medical School, post-MA studies in the field of physical anthropology;  Master of Arts degree in Anthropology, Wayne State University, Michigan; Bachelor of Arts degree, Wayne State University, Michigan. 

And...

>>> "I've known about these ossuaries for many years and so have many other archaeologists, and none of us thought it was much of a story, because these are rather common Jewish names from that period. It's a publicity stunt, and it will make these guys very rich, and it will upset millions of innocent people because they don't know enough to separate fact from fiction." <<< - William G. Dever, American archaeologist specialising in the history of Israel and the Near East in Biblical times;  Professor of Near Eastern Archaeology and Anthropology at the University of Arizona in Tucson, Arizona, 1975 to 2002; Director of the Harvard Semitic Museum-Hebrew Union College Excavations at Gezer from 1966-71, 1984 and 1990; Director of the dig at Khirbet el-Kôm and Jebel Qacaqir (West Bank) from 1967-71; Principal Investigator at Tell el-Hayyat excavations (Jordan) 1981-85, and Assistant Director, University of Arizona Expedition to Idalion, Cyprus, 1991, among other excavations; 1955 graduate of Milligan College; Ph.D., Harvard University, 1966.

And she gots buks from dis Dever guy: Echoes of Many Texts: Reflections on Jewish and Christian Texts. Essays in Honor of Lou H. Silberman (co-editor, with J.E. Wright). Atlanta: Scholars Press, 1997.
For Those Who Sleep in the Dust: Archaeology and the Real World of Ancient Israel. American Schools of Oriental Research, 1997 

So Maman says to me, "Wookit, George BunnyRabbit, dis is whut I read, hokay?"

And I'm wike, "Uh huh. Yout got enny ob dose Baby Organic Carrots? I notised dere were none inna salads last nite."

And Maman wooked at me fora minit and she's wike, "Huh?"

And I'm wike, "Lookit, dere were no Baby Organic Carrots last nite. Are you runnin' out or sumfing?"

And I waved my ears around onna'count obba Fakt dat she finks dat is "Cute".

It issa Prooben Fakt dat you ged more treats when you are "Cute". 

And Maman sed, "You know, George, I fink you shuld habba bite ob cookie."

And I'm finking, "Well, dat's hokay, too."

So we wint Downnastairs anna tellyphone rang and it was Auntie Irene again, and she was reading Maman sumfing she found inna cheep noospaper aboudda Lost Tomb and more Junk His'try. And Maman readed her whut she had found frum those two perfessers and Maman and Auntie Irene hadda'nudder Long Talk - AGAIN!

With me anna rest ob Alla Us Togedder waiting there for dat bite ob cookie.

So Maman hangs uppa tellyphone and wooks at me, and I wave my ears inna Hopeful Wike Manner, trying once more wiffa "Cute" fing.

And Maman goes toda 'Frigerator and takes outta bag, pulls offa clip, pours sumfing out innu her hand and shubs it unner'neaf ob my nose.

And she says, "Would George wike sum Raw Organic Unsalted Sunflower Kernals?"

And I'm wookin' at dees fings in her hand wike, "Whutdaheck? I thought you sed dere was gonna be cookies!"

But apparently, there wassn't onna'count obba Fakt dat Junk His'try had driven enny thoughts ob cookies or Baby Organic Carrots rite outta her hed!

So heer we are, stuck wif Raw Organic Unsalted Sunflower Kernals.

Dere shuld be sum kinda law against dis stuff, lemme tell you!

------------------------------ By George

Posted by Our Warren at 7:37 AM EST

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YO! COME BAK HEER WIF DOSE CHEERIOS!

Hokay, dat was Beebe-Bunny!!

Maman just came around, gibbin' out Cheerios to us onna'count obba Fakt dat we are Cute.

We get a'lotta stuff onna'count obba Fakt dat we are Cute - Baby Organic Carrots, sprigs ob Parsley, bites ob doughbut, Cheerios, Raw Organic Sunflower Nuts, da stray almond heer and dere - Yeah! Being "Cute" hassa'lotta'vantages.

Although not so much lately.

Which issa whole Point ob Dis Entry. 

Howebber, being cute is 'Portant.

Assa Dawg told Da Fat-Cat assa Dawg was eating sum Cheerios dat Maman had dropped onna floor, "Too bad you aren't."

And Cokie wooked at him fora minit and sed, "Yes, I am. I'm not da wun who hasta snuffle up dropped cereal onna floor by axydent. I got kibble put in my bowl uppystairs."

And he piked uppa strand ob Hay frum unnerneaf ob Mr Mouse's habbytat, anna Dawg "Woofed" in his face

And habbin' wifstood dat hurrican ob Dawg-breath, da Fat-Cat shambled outta da Bun Room and back on fru da Kitchin on his way toda Sitting Room which is where he goes inna aftanoons now. He says dere issa Sunbeam dat comes inna winder dere for him to sit in, but we, Alla Us Togedder, know datta Aftanoon Sunbeams all come innu da Bun Room fru da Memorial Winder and light up alla Suncatchers dere to bemind us ob alla Our Warren who hab gone on toda Rainbow Bridge bifore us.

So ennyways, Maman was just in heer, handing out Cheerios onna'count obba Fakt dat we're Cute. She says da Oats are good for Beebe-Bunny to gain sum weight, howebber, dey ar not-so-god for Missy who is Alreaddy a Beautiful Bunny Gurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns and doesn't need to ged enny more gen'rus. Which is why Beebe doesn't fink he got enuf Cheerios. He nebber does. Nor does Mr Mouse.

Maman says it is inneresting dat da two smallest bunnies nebber fink dey hab enuf ob ennyfing, while I, George, shub her hand away afta I've had aboud four Cheerios.

Whut she doesn't realise is dat while I wike treats, I don't need to be hammered ober da hed wif dem. Four is nice, but whut else you got? I know dere are udder fings in dat 'Frigerator and I wuld like to try dem also.

I mean, GEEZ!

Hoomins ged stuck in such a rut!

• Romaine
• Parsley
• Carrots

Whutebber happined to Dill? Where issa udder stuff dat usta appear in our Salads? Where are da Grape Tomatoes? Where are alla varigated lettuces? So Spinach is offa menu - does dat mean dat nobunny is growin' ennyfing else eidder? And how aboud Froot? We habbin't seen enny udder Froot besides Raisins in Forebber!

Hokay, da Cheerios was nice - four days ago! Whut's this wif dem showing up ebbery, single, sollytary day now? Issat all dat's inna cabinet?

It's wike Maman finks we don't communykate wiffa udder critters around heer.

I know, for hextample, datta Fat-Cat hadda bite ob doughnut da udder day. He came down heer bragging abouddit. Besides, wif dees ears, doesn't ennybunny fink I can hear Maman onna'phone wif Dadda?

"Are you going past da petrol station atta top obba road, dear?"

Only we can smell dat it isn't a petrol station. Dat's a doughnut station if ebber dere was one!

So we know dere are doughnuts onna'count obba Fakt dat Dadda smells ob doughnuts when he comes past to put on his "kettle" and make "tee".

Unless da Car, which stinks ob petrol when it takes us toda v-e-ts, has suddinly taken to runnin' on doughnuts....

Whut we don't know is why dere aren't enny doughnuts coming innu da Bun Room.

Why just raisins for treats?

And speaking ob treats...

Dere is also an Appul inna'Frigerator. So howcome dat issn't making it's way out heer, divided up innu four sekshuns wiffa core taken out, innu da Bun Room? I happin to know dat three ob dose Appuls went home wif Sistah Beffy and three more went home wif Phil-anna'Lanna. So whut's dat udder wun doing, just staying dere inna'Frigerator?

And I hab notised dat dere are cookies inna cupboard. Dey are also not coming out innu da Bun Room.

I herd Dadda da udder nite, though, callin innu Maman inna Sitting Room, "Did you fortyged you hab cookies out heer, Sweethard?"

And I'm wike, "So you fink you're smarter than a bunny? Try axtin' me dat questshun!"

Yeah. Well, I habbin't fortygot aboudd'em, lemme tell you!

Da fing is, wif alla dat stuff around heer howcome Maman keeps offering me da same four Cheerios?

It makes you wonder.

--------------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:46 AM EST

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Well, I hab dis "Baby" fing figgered out.

Yeah.

I am releeved to know dat da onliest "babbies" around heer are US! Dat's right! Alla Us Togedder are Maman's "babbies" and there won't be enny udders. Especshully good to know issat I, George, remain, da 'Fishul Babby in dis Houz. 

And Dat's preddy much, dat.

Howebber, last Nite, Maman came home smelling wike sum kinda powder and stuff and sed dat it was onna'count obba Fakt dat she had bin at Sistah Beffy's houz wif Annastasia - who, it turns out, is anudder Baby!

Well, how were we s'sposed to know? We habbin't ebben seed Annastasia yet! We just keep hearing'bout her and nebber axtchully see her, so how are we s'sposed to know dat she issa babby hoomin? 

Da Dawg is tryin' to act all s'perior wike he smelled dat she wassa Babby hoomin and all, but he's just trying to cover up forda Fakt dat he smelled sumfing strange aboud Maman whin she came back frum Sistah Beffy's houz but he couldn't put a name to it onna'count obba Fakt dat he's nebber smelled Babby Hoomin bifore. So now he's trying to tell Alla Us Togedder dat he KNEW his "Pack" was bigger by wun, but wike Cokie-da-Fat-Cat sed, "He had No Cloo." 

So ennyways, I axt Maman dis morning, and found out dat Alla Us Togedder were da Onliest Babbies Gonna Be In Dis Houz, and I can still be Babby George if I wanna be (although I amma 'dult Rabbit now, still trying to Grow 'Tellygint), which issa Good Fing.

And Dadda sed dis was also a Good Fing onna'count obba Fakt dat we don't need enny more babbies becos we hab Quite Enuf As It Is, Fank You,

"Whut wif dis Stoopit Dawg and Throw-Rug Catz unner-foot alla'time." And den he axted Cokie-Cat again if he wanted to moob frum unner'neaf obba counter inna Kitchin where Dadda was tryin' to stand or become Two Furry Slippers anna Tennis Rakit.

And Cokie sed, "No. Gimmie Moooor food!"

And dis is just wike Last Nite while Maman was falleda'sleep inna Sitting Room onna'count obba Fakt dat she was Worn Out frum takin'care obba Baby Annastasia at Sistah Beffy's houz while Sistah Beffy was there habbin Noo'Moan'Yas.

Maman sed datta Noo'Moan'Yas made Sistah Beffy a widdle cranky, which was bad onna'count obba Fakt dat dere is not much to be done wiff a Groan Woman wike you can Do Sumfing fora Babby.

Maman sed, "A cranky babby you can find out whut is wrong, wike dey habba burp, and fix it. But a Groan Woman who is cranky is just Cranky and you spenda wotta time being Careful around dem, wike you wuld around a bomb dat can go off at enny time. Fink obba Noo'Moan'Yas assa blastin' caps dat hab gone unstable and are threatening to blow up da werks. Takes da starch rite outta you."

Den she sort ob wandered off innu da Sitting Room and dat wassa Last we herd frum her for Awhile, til she sed, "It's not her fault, you know. Ebbery Groan Woman finks Her Way issa Bestest Way. It's Hardwired innu her hed dat whutebber her mawmie finks, Her Way is bedda onna'count obba Fakt dat she Just Thought obbit, and Nebber Mind Ten Thousan Yeers ob Pre'vous Hextperience Raising Babbies - her way is Still Bestest. And dat's Hokay. Annastasia will lib fru it."

And Dadda sed dat was "Counter-Intu-it-tib."

And Maman sed, "It takes a village."

And Dadda sed it was no wonda that alla men left da villages to hunt onna'count ob alla Groan Women they hadda ged away frum.

And Maman sed he needed to bemember how well dat Village System had werked onna'count obba Fakt dat he was still alive, wasn't he?

And he sed dat his Fadder was smart enuf to know Whin To Ged Outta Da Village anna Way ob Groan Women, which is Sumfing He Also Studied.

And den Da Dawg anna Cokie-Cat hadda slight Argumint onna'count obba Fakt datta Dawg was sittin' onna Cokie-Cat's tail-fur. And Da Dawg was wigglin' which was jogglin' da Cat anna Cat doesn't like to be joggled.

So Dadda yelled, "Will you two buggers cut it out!"

And we got our Salads just kind ob tossed innu our Habbytats, and not Put In carefully wif our Salad Baskits wike Maman does it onna'count obba Fakt dat "I've only got two hands, f'crissake!" anna Dawg anna Cat were trying to be helpful, which upsets Missy and Mr Mouse onna'count obba Fakt dat they don't wike Catz-in-general, anna Dawg keeps trying to Herd da Cokie-Cat outta da Bun Room (which is his Job, afta all) and Cokie won't let Dadda outta his sight, onna'count obba Fakt dat he wants his dinner "NOWWW!" and he won't "Will'You'Shut-Up-Cat!" abouddit.

And Beebe knocked ober his Stuffie trying to ged close fora cuddle, which Dadda thought Beebe mite be being Upset and mebbe Aggressib abouddit, and Maman thought he maybe was expressing Grief, and it turned out datta Stuffie just fell ober when Beebe tried to cuddle. So Maman reached in and piked up Stuffie and Beebe gotta widdle bit 'Gressib cos you're not s'sposed to Touch Stuffie wiffoud his Prior Approval (which you can't ged onna'count obba Fakt dat it is HIS Stuffie), but Maman set Stuffie upright and Beebe could ged his cuddle.

But it wassa Preddy Intense Momint

But like Maman sed, "Ebberybunny libed. Which issa main fing."

Yeah.

We're all Still Heer and Reddy to Start Stuff All Ober Again Tidday...

----------------------------------------By George  

Posted by Our Warren at 8:30 AM EST

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Maman says Yestidday was Ash Wensday, which issa Beginnin' ob Lent inna Anglican Church callyender. So since we are Anglican Bunnies, we are gonna hab to do sumfing onna'count obba Fakt dat is Lent, which leads up to Easter.

Uh huh.

Now, long ago In Hoomin Lore ( Maman says. Wike I hab lerned Da Lore frum me,Hunny, Maman has lerned alotta Hoomin Lore.) it became Tradishunal for Anglican hoomins gib up stuff for Lent.

Dis "gibbin up stuff" is sus'posed to bemind dem ob Whut Was Gibbin Up for dem and ob Whut Dey Hab alreddy.

Well, ennyways, Maman finks dat Lent issa good time to axtchully Take Sumfing On, which is *rilly* Taking Time Off frum Sumfing Else You'd Radder Be Doin'. Which issa same fing as "gibbin' sumfing up" for Lent.

So Whut Dis Means for Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren issat we heer at Our Warren don't hab to Gib Up Ennyfing for Lent (which issa Good Fing, all-in-all) but we are, Alla Us Togedder, adding speshul Time to Fink aboud Friends and Family who Need Speshul Help.

So we are Addin' an hour wif Hawthorn's List.

Hawthorn wassa Bondmate ob Belinda Bunny. He wassa small white, bloo-eyed Holland Lop Bunny and he was deaf (which means dat he culdn't hear.).

Knowing dat Hawthorn was deaf hext'plains menny fings aboud him:

• How he managed to put up wif Belinda Bunny inna furst place. (Belinda wassa Inkwish Spot Bunny ob a Berry Demanding Character. She was also da Top Bun in Our Warren. She wassa Bunny who started dis Hay Diaries blog onna'count obba Fakt dat she hadda lot to say, mostly her 'pinions and observashuns on LIFE as she found it. And she and Maman preddy much Ran Da Houz, wif Belinda commentin' and Maman mostly doing fings wrong.) It took a wot ob Courage to be bonded to Belinda Bunny.
• How Hawthorn got to be a Therapy Bunny. He went wif Maman toda hoomin Hospiddle and Visited hoomins dat were sik. Since ebben da Thought obba BunnyRabbit being calm enuf to go visitin' inside obba hospiddle hadn't ebben crossed most hoomin's Event Horizon, Hawthorn got berry used to hoomins pokin' at him, goin', "Is dis fing stuffed?"
  
• How Hawthorn accepted dat nobunny wanted him at first assa HouzBunny onna'count obba Fakt dat he didn't Do Ennyfing. Becos he couldn't hear, he wuld just stay sat by himself alla time. He knew whut It Was Like to be lonely inna silent world nobunny else knew aboud, while ebberybunny else was libbin inna whole 'nuther werld dat he culdn't share. So whin he came to Our Warren, he was allus Hoppy to share in fings wif Alla Us Toggeder and to make shure dat ebberybunny felt Inklooded.
  
• Why Hawthorn lubbed snuggles, murmurs, tickles, ear-scritches, cuddles and kisses. He lubbed to be lubbed! And he lubbed to cuddle up and return lub. Ebben wif Belinda, he knew dat touching her, by lying wif his hed on her back was allus da Bestest!
• And ebben when he got Sik, wif sumfing growing inside ob his hed dat nobun, not ebben a V-E-T culd see at furst, why Hawthorn Bunny was still patient and cheerful and ebber-hopeful dat Fings Wuld Werk Out.

And fings did Werk Out, but not wike Maman wanted. Hawthorn left forda Rainbow Bridge, leebin' Belinda assa Single Bun again. Den Belinda got Sik, and she hadda oppyrayshun and ebberyfing. And Maman cried and cried. And dat is part obba Da Lore as it was told to me by me,Hunny, Senior Bun. 

And dat is also right aboudda'time dat I, George, arrived in Our Warren and axted Belinda if she was my Mawmie. But she sed she wassn't, and dat she did not want anudder bondmate onna'count ob not feelin' berry well.

And I felt lonely and skert onna'count obba Fakt dat I was still Babby George anna Easter Dump and not unnerstanding how alla dat Bad Stuff  happins to so menny young bunnies and all - and onna'count ob ebberyfing aboud being in Our Warren being so new to me, I went to sit wif me,Hunny who wassa berry old Senior Bun by den, and lerned Da Lore.

So ennyways, just afta Hawthorn finally left forda Rainbow Bridge, Maman began keepin' a List wiffa names ob Hoomins and Bunnies she knew who needed Speshul Prayers, vibes and good thoughts. She named dis List, Hawthorn's Prayer List, afta Hawthorn, who was so Patient, Kind and Ebber Hopeful.

So now, for Lent, Whut We Do is to spend time wif dis List, Alla Us Togedder, furst bemembering da Bunnies Who Hab Come Bifore and who hab helped to make Our Warren innu Whut It is.

And den we spend time finking aboudda Bunnies Who Are Heer Now, who mebbe need speshul help, wike Herman, who issa Senior Bun and not feeling well, anna Baby Bunnies in Virginia who all need Forebber Homes. And we send vibes and prayers to their hoomins, Auntie Mary and Auntie Michelle, and are fankful dat dey are dere for these Bunnies.

And Maman says dat ennybun who needs to be added to Hawthorn's List just has to email us and she will add dat Bunny's and their hoomin's name! Onna'count obba Fakt dat dere is No Limit to Hawthorn's List, just like dere was No Limit to Hawthorn's Love.

And we bemember to send vibes and prayers for ebberybunny who is inna shelter, or who is seeking to find shelter, dat dey may find dere way innu opin arms and loving hearts. And dat da wuns who are in shelters will find Forebber Homes, and make room forda ones who seek shelter, sodat they will nebber be turned away, or become lost in their Great Search for a Warren.

And Maman says dat we also hab to fink very strong thoughts sodat da "Make Mine Chocolate" campaign gains strength and acceptance ebberywheres inna werld where dere are bunnies and Easter, sodat dere will be NO bunnies who hab to suffer at Eastertime! Easter shuld allus be a sellybrashun ob Love and Renewl, notta time ob Terror, Abandonment and OnAlone for thousands ob poor widdle bunnies!

Please, nebber, ebber buy a baby bunny assa Easter Present! We are not toys!

Yeah!

So Maman says dat dis is Whut We Do heer at Our Warren for Lent - we are gonna ADD fings to our daily lives wif Hawthorn's List. We are gonna ADD:

• A Joyful burden of caring for udders
• A Happy recognition of Our Responsibility toward udders anna
  
• A Great Fanksgibbin' for dat which we alreddy enjoy
• And menny prayers for God's Peace and Mercy for all.
  

So we aren't gibbin' up ennyfing for Lent, ebben though we are Tradishunal Anglican Bunnies. We're glad to be Adding Fings On...

-------------------------- By George       

Posted by Our Warren at 10:13 AM EST

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Well, here I am, while "Dinner Is Being Held Up", Maman says.

Not in my paws or ennyfing wike dat onna'count obba Fakt dat I don't hab Opposable Thumbs, but because it's still frozen and hasn't finished thawin (whutebber dat is!), becos it got started late.

So Maman says it's Hokay for me to be up heer inna Study, typin' becos she is bizzy now inna Kitchin, trying to Get Fings Dun.

Wiffout Critters, she says.

Onna'count obba Fakt, she says, dat Critters (meaning Alla Us Togedder, and we Bunnies didn't ebben DO ennyfing, we just KNOW abouddit!) "Dat Critters are allus geddin'inna way"! 

And dis is all onna'count obba Fakt obba Dawg anna Cokie-da-Fat-Cat Got Mail!

Yeah!

And we're not talkin' E-mail or D-mail, we're talkin' the reel kinda Mail dat arrives inna MailBox atta kerb and hasta be brought innu da Houz! Ushually only we Bunnies get dat kinda Mail frum Our Cousins, or Maman or Dadda gets dat kinda Mail, but dis time sum Fing arrived for Cokie-da-Fat-Cat and Marc-Border-Collie.

So dey gotta posty card and onna frunt it said, "To Cokie and Marc Hawpa", which was preddy cool. And whin Maman turned it ober, it said, "It's Time For A Bath!" and hadda pikchur obba hoppy widdle dawg (Dadda calls dem "a rat-onna-rope" or a "rat-onna-string") wif it's hair all dun up inna bow.

So Maman shows da posty to Marc and says inna happy tone ob voice, "Does Markie-boy wanta bath? Does he wanna go toda Spa?"

Anna Dawg starts bouncing up-and-down and he's wike, "Cool!"

But you know he just doesn't geddit, onna'count obba Fakt dat he can't read. He just sees stuff in black and white and hears dat Maman has on a "Happy Tone ob Voice", so it's wike, "Whutebber - if Maman's Happy, da Pack is Happy, so I'm Happy, too!"

Onna'count obba Fakt dat da Dawg issa Idiot.

So Maman is all pleased and goes off to show da potsy to Cokie-da-Fat-Cat who is taking up space inna Red Chair inna Sitting Room. You see, dat is his AftaNoon place. It's where the sunbeams are.

So we Bunnies are inna Bun Room and we can hear Maman going Downna Hallway, wiffa Dawg bouncing along'side ob her, onna'count obba Fakt dat being beside her while she's walkin' is his Job (so she doesn't fall ober - but lemme tell you, she can fall ober him as easy as not!) and you know how Border Collies are about Jobs...

So ennyways...

They're bouncing along da Hallway and we Bunnies can hear Cokie-da-Fat-Cat who has been asleep and is Not Pleased about habbin' to Wake Up frum his Nap Inna Sunbeam.

And he's wike, "Whaaaaaaaa?"

And Maman's wike, "Lookit, Cokie! You Got Mail!"

And Cokie is not Impressed.

And we Bunnies can hear da Dawg, who is still bouncin', and Maman tells him to "Sit down, Marc! Marc! Sit down!" and there's this *thump* assa Dawg sorta pulls in all four feets and collapses onna carpet inna Sitting Room.

And we can hear Cokie-Cat, and he's wike, "Maaaaaail?"

So we hear nuffin' for a few minutes while Maman's showing him da Posty Card. And afta a minit, Maman says,

"It's frumma Spa, Cokie! You bemember Da Spa, don't you?"

And alla suddin, dere's da sound ob alla dis scramblin' goin' on inna Sitting Room.

And it's the sound obba Fat-Cat trying to ged frum Lying InsideOutUpsideDown innu UprightOnAllFourPaws in one movement... 

And he's yellin' "SPAAAAAAA!" atta same time.

And Maman's going, "You wanna go toda Spa, don't you, Cokie-Cat? You're tired ob smelling wike an old privy-rug, aren't you, Sweetie-kitty? Don't you wanna go toda Spa and habba nice baf and smell all fresh and clean?"

Anna Dawg, onna'count obba Fakt dat he has just herd a werd dat he rekognizes, suddinly starts bouncin' again, and now he's barkin' da only werd he rekognizes, which is,

"Baf! Baf! Baf!" 

And Maman starts yelling, "Marc! Shut up! Quiet!"

And suddinly, heer comes Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, paddlin' at high speeds downna hallway, wiffa Dawg hard on his heels, barkin' dat Dreded Werd,

"Baf! Baf! Baf!"

Anna Cat is runnin' as fast as he can and yellin', "Spaaa! Spaaaa! Nooo! Nooo!"

And Maman is yellin, "Marc! Get back here! Sit! Leeb dat Cat alone!"

And Marc is chasin' Cokie Uppystairs, still barkin' joyfully, "Baf! Baf! Baf!" like a moron, while Cokie's hustling to ged away for all he's worf.

So, while alla dis Noise is happinin', Dadda gets aboud half way Downnastairs, and he's yellin', "Are you all right, Sweetheart?      " while da Cat anna Dawg sweeps past him onna way up...

And den Maman gets as far assa Libbin' Room and she's wike, "I'm fine."

But dere issa whole lotta noise and yellin' comin' frum Uppastairs in Dadda's Office where Beep-da-Udder-Cat has bin sleepin' onna footon, not takin' part in alla dis stuff.

Yet.

So Ennyways... 

Whin Cokie anna Dawg barge in, she screams out, "Whuttaheck?" and because she hassa *rilly* short temper, she takes a swing atta Dawg as he anna Cokie-Cat go past...

And Alla Us Togedder down inna Bun Room can hear da noise ob several sets ob feets running back and forfh ober our heds.

And Dadda turns onna stairs and shouts uppastairs, "Will you buggers knock it off!"

And suddinly, dere is Silence frum Uppystairs.

Cos da Dawg anna Catz hab stopped runnin onna'count obba Fakt dat Dadda has yelled. 

And inna quiet, we Bunnies inna Bun Room hear Dadda as he axts Maman, "Do you mind me axting whut just happined?"

And dere is quiet for a minit and you can just see Maman wooking at him fora minit bifore she says,

"I dunno. Da Dawg anna Cat Got Mail. And dat's all I know." And she hands him da posty.

But Dadda didn't come out innu da Bun Room and axt us Whut Happined. Becos we could hab told him Why Dinner is Late...

-------------------- By George 

Posted by Our Warren at 4:28 PM EST

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Yeah!

Well, we gots SNO!

And ice, and sum rain dat freezed, so all-in-all, it is preddy slippery out dere.

So Maman, onna'count ob she issa Wedder Weenie, knew dis Storm was coming. So by last Saturday, she had gone toda Market, buyed us Greens, and bought Milk and Bread and Stuff to make Veggytubble Soop and was all reddy for dis Storm to blow in.

Den Sistah Beffy came ober on Monday and Maman made shure dat she wint shoppin' for herself and Adam and Anastasia Elizabeth (whom we habbin't ebben seed yet!) so dat they had alla stuff dey needed whin da Storm arrived at dere houz, which is just ober a liddle ways frum Our Warren.

And Maman sed to Sistah Beffy, "Wookit. Frum now on, you will allus be reddy for Sno Storms. So whin you hear wun is coming, you go out toda store and you buy Bread, Milk, Stuff to make Veggytubble Soop and Greens forda Bunnies. Dis is becos you are now a Mawmie and dis is Whut We Do." 

And Sistah Beffy sed, "I don't hab Bunnies."

And Maman sed, "Den you buy Greens ennyways and bring them to me for Our Warren."

And Sistah Beffy got to take home some boxes. One wassa BIG box frumma Lewis Warren!

And Sistah Beffy opined uppa Box and inside was a lotta fings all wrapped up in widdle soft blankies. And I was wookin' at wunna da blankies and I sed to Missy,

"I wike these. You can rilly scratch dem up inna nice, soft pile."

And Missy sort ob pulled at wun wif her teefies while I was wookin' at sum ribbon, and sum how or anudder,  Dadda came along and scooped us up, and we managed to land right back inna Bun Room.

But bifore dat happined, we noticed dat dere wassa soft Teddy Bear right dere inna box, and sum more blankies, and sum ribbons, and stuff.

All for Anastasia Elizabeth whom we hab nebber seed! So Whut's Up Wif Dat?  How does Anastasia Elizabeth get alla dis stuff whin nobun has rilly ebber ebben seen her?

Ennyways... 

Inside obba Box dere wassa Buk for Pikchurs for Maman wrapped inna Bunny Baby Blankie. I guess dis is so she can take pikchurs ob Alla Us Togedder to show ebberybunny she knows! Now dat is preddy cool! 'Cept dere wassa werd "BABY" onna frunt ob dis Buk. Well, I usta be Babby George, so mebbe alla pikchurs innit will be only ob me. But ennyfing to spread da werd aboud how GREAT it is to lib wif HouseRabbits!

So ennyways, Maman sed to Dadda last nite, "Well, da Storm is starting and Phil-da-Lad hasn't called yet. Do you fink he's got Bread, Milk anna Stuff to make Veggytubble Soop, or would he anna'Lanna be planning to come out to come here in this?."

And dey watched sum car go sliding sideways downna street onna ice.

And Dadda sed to Maman, "He can't be dat stoopit."

And just den, the tellyphone rang.

And Dadda sed, "You hadda say sumfing, didn't you?"

So Phil anna'Lanna came on ober inna car and Maman gabe dem Stuff to make Veggytubble Soop, and Kitty food, and dey stayed to hab dinner ob Bangers and Mash.

And dey watched da cars slidin' downna street.

And prob'ly Payton, who issa Basset Hound atta Lewis Warren and knows Phil onna'count obba Fakt dat Phil grew up wif Our Warren's Ancient Dawg who was also a Basset Hound, had putta widdle package inside obba box for Sistah Beffy dat sed "Uncle Phil" onnit.

So Phil unwrapped it, and it wassa Bunny-spinner Toy!

Well, Phil got all hextcited and couldn't wait to get it unwrapped and make it start spinning. And he's sitting there atta dinner-table, eating his Bangers and Mash and playing wif dis Bunny-Spinner toy. Wike he's eight yers old. 'Cept dat he issn't. He's twenty-three yeers old and Maman started telling him dat he Bedda Act His Age.

Anna'Lanna sed to him, "Wookit, it has widdle bunny-shaped candies inna handle! May I hab wun?"

And Phil says, "No. I'm playing wiffit. Who cares aboud candies? I had wunna dees whin I was widdle and I LUBBED IT! How did Auntie Michelle know I needed anudder wun? Dis is so cool!"

And Missy sed, "Well if it's bunny-shaped and got bunny-shaped candies inside, you just know dat sum Basset Hound didn't fink obbit. Dat's a Bunny-Idea. It was all Toodles' anna Lewis Buns' idea!" 

Anna Dawg wandered out innu da Bun Room frumma Dining Room and he sed, "Dere's no chance ob us geddin enny candies. He won't put it down long enuf for me to gedda look attit!"

And Mouse is wike, "Ebben though Maman told him not to play wif stuff atta table?"

Anna Dawg shrugged. "He isn't ebben listening. Cos he's gotta toy. You know, alla "toys" in dis houz usually belong to me, and I keep dem in my Baskit, but I can't ebben get a look-in at dis wun cos he won't let go obbit."

And Missy sed, "Doesn't take much to 'muse dat boy." 

And out inna Dining Room Phil anna'Lanna were getting on dere coats, hats and Lagomorphin Enterprises gloves to go home. 

And it took Phil ten minuts to clean alla ice offa his Lancer Car.

Anna Dawg got bored standin' atta Frunt Door watchin' him, so he wandered out innu da Bun Room and sed,

"Dere issa whole lotta cold air comin' in frum dat Frunt Door!"

And Beebe is wike, "Cold air! Close da door, Stoopit!"

Anna Dawg sed, "Maman sed we can't onna'count obba Fakt dat it would be impolite. We hab to wave 'Good-Bye'. But I'm telling you, it's gonna be a short Patrol t'nite!"

So now it's tidday, which is Valentine's Day and it is sno'ing on top obba ice, which Maman sed, will make driving and walking a Preddy Inneresting Hextperience. And she sed datta schools are all closed, so alla Mawmies had bedda hab stuff to 'muse da kidlets.

And Missy sed, "Well, we know we dat Dat Wun Cubbered, fanks to Toodles anna Lewis-Buns, and Payton-Basset-Hound." 

And downnastairs inna Kitchin, dere is Veggytubble Soop onna stove.

So it's a Reg'lar Sno Storm, wif ice, and Bread and Milk and greens, and Veggytubble Soop. Which is how it's s'sposed to be. 

Oh and dat's beminded me! Lilly da Basset Hound and her friend Penny lib nextest door to us. You want sum Veggytubble Soop? You can hab your Mawmie MaryBef email Our Warren a vze334vw@verizon.net and MissyBun sed she will letta Dawg know so he can tell Maman!

------------------ By George 

Posted by Our Warren at 1:05 PM EST

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Well, I changed the Calendar Fingy ober dere onna left-hand side obba Blog, becos although the Index Fingy might hab been more useful for lookin' for Previous Entries obba Blog (since it goes alla way back to Belinda's Blog in 2004!),  but dis Calendar Fingy looks Bedda. Da Index Fing just looks messy. To me, ennyways.

And I'm messing around wiffa way da Fonts werk, too. I kinda thought yestiddays looked too BIG, so tidday I went wif dis "10pt" wun. You gedda'nuff "Opshuns" going and you can RILLY screw fings up! I just wish I culd put inna pikchurs! But dat feetchur still won't werk for me! ("Tripod Guys are you heering me?!")

So, ennyways...

Yestidday sumwun sed sumfing aboudda bunnies "fittin' innu da family".

Anna Dawg came by and sed sumfing wike we hab to fit innu da "Pack". Den Cokie-da-Fat-Cat arrived saying we was part ob his "Chowder" and MissyBun (who was sittin' inna Noo Pootypan) sed dey were part ob Alla Us Togedder part of Our Warren where we preddy much make up our own mind aboud Who We Are and Whut We Do. 

It is wike dis:

I hab rilly big ears. If I hear sumfing at Nite, and it sounds like it might be Ob Concern, whut issa Logical Fing for a Bunny to do?

'Lert da Warren.

So how do I, George BunnyRabbit, go aboutta job of 'Lerting da Warren to a P'tenshul Threat?

Well, I am One Small New Zealand Rabbit out heer inna Bun Room, in my habbytat wiffa rest obba bunnies, but we can't do much, you know? So I *THUMP* - which in Lagomorphin (which is Our Language) means Hey-Lookit-I-Heer-Sumfing-Dangerous-Ebberybunny-Wook-Out!

And heer comes Da Dawg to see Whut Is Going On.

Now Seeing Whut Is Going On issa Dawg's Job, and becos dis Dawg issa Border Collie, he LOVES jobs, and dis is wun ob his. So he doesn't ebben hab to unnerstand Lagomorphin; he heers da *THUMP* and has to come see Whut Is Going On. Becos he issa Dawg and dis is his Job where he fits innu da Warren.

So great. He hassa job to do, which is to axt me "Whutssamatta, George BunnyRabbit?"

So I tell him, "Lookit, I herd sumfing." And he snuffles around for a minit and den goes, "Hokay, lemme gedda hoomin." and goes off to wake up Dadda.

Now, you see, heer is where dere isssa P'tenshul for Problems, onna'count obba Fakt dat hoomins who do not unnerstand Dawg will not unnerstand datta Dawg is just Doing His Job, which is Whut He Does, whinna Dawg wakes uppa hoomin up afta I *THUMP*.

Stoopit hoomins, who can only Fink in hoomin-terms, tend to fink datta Dawg is just being 'Noying whin he wakes dem up onna'count obba Fakt datta bunnyrabbit has *THUMPED*. Our Dadda, howebber, unnerstans Dawg, and knows dat Waking Up Dadda, who issa Alpha Dawg issa Propa Response fora Puzzled Beta Dawg.

And Marc-da-Border-Collie puzzles preddy easy, lemme tell you!

So Our Dadda puts on his Bafrobe and comes out innu da Bun Room to see Whutsamatta Wiffa Dawg, which brings him nextest to me, George BunnyRabbit, who wass wun who *THUMPED* inna Furst Place.

So as Dadda is opinin da Back Door to let outta Dawg to go on Patrol inna Back Gardin onna'count obba Fakt da Dawg has waked him up, Dadda axts me, "Whut's up wif You Buggers?"

And so I ged to tell him Whut I Herd, which is Whut I Do in Our Warren, which is, namely, to 'Lert Da Warren whin I hear sumfing dat I fink might be a Threat.

And Dadda, who issa Alpha  Dawg anna Hoomin Who Makes Sure Alla Us Togedder Are Safe, says to me, "Ebberyfing is hokay, George. Go on back to sleep."

And gibs me a treat or a pet or sumfing.

Den he lets inna Dawg and we all preddy much seddle down and I go back Onna'Lert until I hear sumfing else.

And dat's How It Werks.

Hoomins hab to lern to see Fings frumma'nudder Point ob View. It's not wike Da Dawg is doing ennyfing dat is Not Dawg-like. He is doing a fine job ob being a Dawg. In Fakt, I would say dat he is Preddy Darn Good at Being a Dawg! For a Dawg. Just wike I amma Preddy Good BunnyRabbit.

We are all just Doing Whut We Do, Alla Us Togedder, heer at Our Warren.

I will gib you a'nudder hext'ample.

Do you bemember whin Sheeba came heer to visit us (and brought Unkul Peter wif her), and Sheeba hadda BunPen Uppastairs while Alla Us Togedder were heer Downnastairs inna Bun Room? 

Yeah. 

Well, Da Dawg came frum Uppystairs and sed to Alla Us Togedder, "Hey! Dere issa'nudder bunnyrabbit up dere dat I don't know! So I snuffled her and she sed, 'Hey! You! I'm Sheeba, and Whodaheck are you?' so Whut do I do?"

So I was wike, "Axt her if she wants sum hay."

Soda Dawg went back Uppystairs and den he comed back and told us dat Sheeba alreddy had sum hay and was habbin' a nap and dat ebbryfing was fine. And we were wike, "Hokay, so wike, we don't need to *THUMP* ober dis, she issa'nudder bunnyrabbit and she is Hokay."

And so Sheeba told Da Dawg whut was going on wif her Uppystairs and Da Dawg came down and told us Whut Sheeba Sed. And dat was "D-Mail" and it werked. Dere were no *THUMPS* ob Werry, cos we didn't hab to be Werried. We were communykating wif each udder by way obba Dawg doing his Job. 

And sum Hoomins don't see dat kinda Fing going on, ebben in dere own homes!

Dey don't unnderstan dat Alla Us Togedder are Wun Big Warren, wif each bunny innit just Doing Whut Dey Do. 

Hoomins habba place inna Warren, but dey aren't Da Warren. Da Warren is Alla Us Togedder, and ebberybunny has to find dere place innit.

Now I know dat sumtimes it is berry hard for sum Species to lern to lib togedder. Our Warren is preddy much an Hextceptshun ob inner-species  co-operatib relashunships, Maman says, onna'count obba Fakt dat Belinda Bunny taught Maman alla Roolz (and not ebberybunny hassa Belinda Bunny to teach dem, Maman says.) and Maman makes whut she calls Policy around heer, lemme tell you! 

Maman says its all in ebberybunny lerning to Fit Innu da Warren, not trying to Make da Warren Fit ebberybunny. 

Bunnies axtchually know alla'bout Fittin Innu. It's Whut We Do. It's how We Make Our Warren.

"Ebberybunny hassa Place inna Warren and inna Warren dere issa Place for Ebberybunny". - Belinda Bunny (ATB)

And dere is allus room for Wun More...

-----------------------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:13 AM EST

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Yeah, we are. 

It's bin TWO WEEKS and we heer at Our Warren, STILL dunno ennyfing aboudda "baby"!

Dis is re'dicullus.

Hokay, I'll tell you Whut We Know So Far...

1. Anastasia Elizabeth arrived TWO Saturdays ago, and LIFE around heer sure has bin bizzy!
2. LIFE around heer has bin BIZZY, but WIFFOUT US!
3. Bunnies hab bin kept INNA DARK!

Yeah!

So we don't know ennyfing aboudda "baby" but we know a whole lot aboudda Anastasia Elizabeth.

She arrived alla suddin, Maman sed, whch is s'sposed to be good fing. And she is berry small, because Maman sed dat I am axtchually BIGGER den she is! I amma 7 lb., 3 oz. "Small NZ" bunnyrabbit and she issa 5 lb., 8 oz. hoomin. So I am bigger! MissyBun, a Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns issa LOT bigger den bof ob us!

Howebber, dispite her small size, she is preddy much causing as much trubble for us assa rilly BIG critter.

Maman and Dadda were outta da Houz almost alla da time da Last Week ob January anna Furst Week ob February! Dey wuld leeb inna morning and Dadda wuld say toda Dawg, "On  Guard!"

Well, you know whut dat means - Da Dawg suddinly finks he is "In Charge" ob ebberyfin inna Houz.

So since Maman and Dadda allus close da Bedroom door, he goes to sit wherebber else it is dat Maman and Dadda sit, wike onna sofa inna Sitting Room. And dis makes Cokie-da-Fat-Cat mad, onna'count obba Fakt dat he fink alla sofas ('cept da wun inna Living Room) are his.

Soda Dawg is wike, "Wookit, I'm In-Charge."

And we're wike, "Uh huh." and go back to Whut We're Doing.

Anna Two Catz are wike, "Whutebber."

Anna heater goes off and on, anna Big Clock inna Living Room ticks and makes chimes. Da sunbeams moob around da Houz anna Catz moob wif dem.

And preddy soon, Alla Us Togedder heer in Our Warren are wike, "Hey! It's geddin' DARK inna Bun Room!"

Anna Dawg is wike, "Well, I can't do ennyfing aboud'dat. I can't reach da lamp."

Anna Catz are wike, "It's not our problem."

Anna heater goes off and on, anna Big Clock inna Living Room ticks and makes chimes. Anna sumbeams go off anna Catz moob innu da Sitting Room onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman isn't dere to tell dem to ged out.

Anna Dawg goes to sit byda Frunt Door becos he is "On Guard" and finks he is "In Charge" obba Houz.

And now it is DARK.

So we're feeling around for food and hay and suchnot, and da heater goes off and on, anna Big Clock inna Living Room ticks and makes chimes.

And it's STILL DARK!

And suddinly, dere's a whole lotta noise, anna Dawg starts to whine and here comes Maman and Dadda and dey are talkin' about Sistah Beffy, Adam and Anastasia Elizabeth!

And Maman suddinly says, "Oh no! Bunnies-inna-Dark!" and turns on Our Lamp.

And den da Houz comes alive again - and we ged Salads, anna Fuss, anna Catz go Uppystairs and hab sum food, anna Dawg goes outta Back Door on Patrol, and geds his Dinner and Cookies. Den we ged our Treats and Maman and Dadda (who are *still* talkin' aboud Ananstasia Elizabeth!) go innu da Bedroom and go to sleep.

Anna nextest day, da whole Process repeats itself!

So DEN...

Maman geds *sik* wiffa floo. And she is in bed inna Bedroom and Dadda's runnin' alla 'round and we're Alla Us Togedder  still inna Bun Room, wonderin' Whuttaheck is goin' on.

Anna Dawg doesn't know ennyfing, 'cept dat he is "On Guard!" whin Dadda goes out. Anna Catz don't know ennyfing onna'count obba Fakt dat dey are Catz.

And now dere issa Pile ob Presents dat Maman says are for Anastasia Elizabeth!

So, you know, heer we are, FINALLY Uppastairs inna Study! And Maman is FINALLY geddin' around to letting us do Whut We Do.

Butta whole Fing is, we haben't herd Wun Werd aboudda "Baby" fora Long Time!

And we habn't SEEN dis "Anastasia Elizabeth" who ebberyone is runnin' all ober for!  Who is she? Where is she? WHUT is she?

And where has Sistah Beffy gone? We habbin't seed her in WEEKS!

So yeah. Da Lack ob Infortymayshun around heer sorta sucks.

Becos nuffin' ebber changes, you know?

Da heater still goes off and on, anna Big Clock inna Living Room still ticks and makes chimes. Anna sunbeams moob alla'round da Houz, wiffa Catz in dere wake, while da Dawg goes in-and-out da Back Door on Patrol.

so, well,  we'll let you know when sumfing happins...

---------------------- By George  

Posted by Our Warren at 12:20 PM EST

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Ebbery Bunny inna Warren hassa job. Dat's just Whut We Do. Ebberybunny hassa Place, and ebberybunny is Needed. We are Alla Us Togedder to make a warren.

Onna'count obba Fakt dat ebberybunny is allus bedder at sumfings . We all hab Gifts. So ebbery bunny takes part inna running ob stuff and No Bun Gets Left Out or is OnAlone. EbberyBun is needed inna Warren, and NoBun is ebber useless! 

Dat's whut it means to be Alla Us Togedder!

So, in Our Warren, I amma 'Lert Bunny. Dis means dat I stay awake all night Onna'Lert, making sure datta Warren is safe. I sleep all day to make dis happin, but dat is Hokay onna'count obba Fakt dat I amma NightBunny preddy much ennyways - meaning dat wike sum hoomins, I am more inclined to sleep during da day and be awake at night.

And you gotta'mit, da Werld needs those ob us whose Biological Clocks are set to run inna Dark. We might be dif'frunt frum you, but we are da wuns who run alla Power Stations, and 'Mergency Services, and Hospiddles, and Noos Outlets, and ebberyfing else dat is Opin All Night. Inna Anglican Lore, we beleeb God knew Whut He Was Doing  whin He created Alla Kinds ob Beings.

So ennyways, I amma 'Lert Bunny heer at Our Warren.

Dis is how it werks:

I sleep all day so I can be awake alla Night Long. I stay awake, wif my ears standing up, scooping in alla sounds frum ebberywheres inna Houz and frum Outside. Dere is nuffin' dat I don't hear. And I know alla sounds, just as I was told alla them frum me,Hunny frum when he wassa 'Lert Bunny bifore I growed Tellygint enuf to habba job.

So I stay awak alla Night, inna Dark and Listen. And if I hear a Noise that I don't recognise, I give an Alarm *THUMP*.

This *THUMP* issa berry Old Rabbit Signal that can be herd above ground and also down unner da ground, inna Burrows. It means "Danger ", and it is Serious. I don't hab these Big Feets for nuffin'. 

Well, when I *THUMP* heer at Our Warren, that usually brings Da Dawg, who is Hed ob HomeFruntDoor Sekurity. He also stays awake, staying Onna'Lert for Intruders or Danger.

So when I *THUMP*, he comes frum wherebber he happins to be inna Houz, sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da Habbytat and axts, "Hey George BunnyRabbit, whutssamatta? You all right?"

Now, dis issa Dawg, doing His Job, and he issa Border Collie and Border Collies LOVE habbin' JOBS. It's Whut Border Collies Do.

Ob course, sumtimes, he is so pleased to habba Job, dat he sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da wrong habbytat. And Mr Mouse and Beebe bof hab Strickt Roolz aboudda Where Dawgs Shuld Stick Inquiring Noses, and Most obba Roolz revolve around  "Not In My Habbytat". So whenna Dawg sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da Wrong Habbytat, he usually geds peed on. 

But dis is mostly onna'count obba Fakt dat they are not Onna'Lert at Night and he has waked them up by sticking his Inquiring Nose where it doesn't belong. Mr Mouse issa 'Lert Bunny when it is Day.

So ennyways, Da Dawg comes and axts me,

"Whutssamatta, Geroge BunnyRabbit?"

And I'll tell him Whut I Herd. 

Anna Dawg will ponder dis.

And he'll axt me, "Did you hear a Cat?"

And I'll say, "I dunno."

Then den he'll axt me, "Did you hear sumfing inna BackGardin?"

And I'll say, "I dunno."

And nestest he'll axt me, "Was it a Cat Uppystairs?"

And I'll say, "I dunno."

And den he'll say, "So whut was it?"

And I'll say, "Dat's why I *THUMPED*! Onna'count obba Fakt dat I dunno!" 

And onna'count obba Fakt dat Dadda says Da Dawg shares a brain-cell wiffa Cokie-Cat, anna Cokie-Cat has alreddy taken da cell Uppystairs forda night, da Da Dawg is now 'Fishully Puzzled.

And whin Da Dawg is Puzzled, he goes off to axt Dadda Whut He Shuld Do Nestest.

Now, ob course, Dadda and Maman are alreddy asleep inna BedRoom onna' count obba Fakt dat it is Night.

But in order to axt Dadda ennyfing, Da Dawg hasta wake Dadda up, and 'splain Whut's Going On.

So Da Dawg sticks his Inquiring Nose innu Dadda's armpit, and den Dadda' wakes up, rilly alla-sudden way, and Makes Dis *BIG SURPRISED* kinda NOISE.

And I'm out heer, inna Bun Room, finkin' "Whutdaheck?"

So I *THUMP*...

...and heer comes Da Dawg, back frumma BedRoom innu da Bun Room, all hextcited, and he's axting, "Whutdaheckssamatta?" 

And Dadda's all awake inna BedRoom going...

...nebber mind whut he's going onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman says HouseBunnies shouldn't know Those Werds.  

But it makes me *THUMP*, again, which brings Da Dawg running back, and preddy soon, it kind ob gets a lot like a string ob computer commands, that We heer in Our Warren call the "'Lert Loop  :

• IF Noise + George = *Thump*, Then
• George + *Thump* = Dawg, Then
• *Thump* + Dawg = Perplexity, Then
• Perplexity + Dawg = Dadda, Then
  
• Dadda + Dawg = Noise, Then
• REPEAT
  

Wiffa end result that there issa Whole Wotta Noise going on, sum obbit in Bunny-thumps, and sum obbit in whut Maman calls Anglo-Saxon, anna Dawg ends up Outside habbin a Short Patrol obba BackGardin wedder he wants to or Not. Which preddy much stops the 'Lert Loop, but not bifore ebberybunny inna whole ob Our Warren is Wide Awake...

...Inna middle obba Night...

...so...ennyways... It is now preddy much Time for me to Hab Sum Hay and Habba Nap onna'count obba Fakt dat it is Day, Mr Mouse is Onna'Lert and I need to ged sum sleep...

----------------- By George 

Posted by Our Warren at 10:37 AM EST

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