Now Playing: Once Again, George Reads the Morning Papers...
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises
Hokay. I hab just aboud haddit.
I mean, I'm a gen'rally Patient HouzRabbit. Ennybunny who reads dis "The Hay Diaries" bog wif ebben passing attention knows dat Alla Us Togedder in Our Warren live inna MultiSpecies Warren, but dis is (as Dadda says) Gettin' Beyond a Joke!
So tidday, I'm sitting here, reading da Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online as I do ebbery morning wif Maman.
Now, I read it onna'count obba Fakt dat MissyBun, my Big, Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, happins to come frum Noo Yawk and hassa Whole Wotta Noo Yawk Bunna'Tude.
And Maman reads it onna'count obba Fakt dat she usta werk dere.
Just so we're clear.
Ennyways, so here we are, reading da Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online Uppystairs in Maman's Study, and Maman (who has control obba clicky-fing) clicks on a story called "No Pet Left Behind".
And I'm finking, "Oh good! A Pet-centrist Noos item. Ob *course* it will menshun BunnyRabbits."
So I'm reading, and it starts off preddy good - about Pets Who Travel.
And I'm finking, "Dis is cool. Our Friend and Relayshun, Sheeba, travels and lets Unkul Peter come along to carry her Furrari for her onna hareplanes."
So I'm reading on - and so far, it's alla'bout Dawgs Who Travel.
And I'm finking, "Yeah, well, so dawgs happin to be da Most Pop'lar Pet. So Whut? We habba Dawg heer in Our Warren, and Our Dawg only goes preddy much two places: da V-E-Ts anna Spa, and mebbe to Rosedale Park or Around da Block, towing Maman onna leash (well, hokay, so I'm hextaggeratin' a widdle and he doesn't *tow* ennywun, but you know whut I mean!)..."
Ennyways, let's read aboudda bunnies!
And I'm finking dat mebbe dis Noos Item will menshun Our Friend, Ms Rudy Esquhare, who has passed her Salad Bar in Noo Yawk and who just got back frum visiting wif Our Cuzzins, Bailey and Janey, who hab Unkul Michael libbin' wif dem, while her Mawmie, Auntie Michelle hadda be Away On BayKayShun (see RIFRAF News onna sidebar).
Yeah, anna artykul is still going on aboudda dawgs and then it menshuns Catz.
And I'm wike, "Hokay, we're geddin' dere."
Onna'count obba Fakt dat Catz are da Sekond Most Pop'lar Pet ("Goodness' knows why!" Sed Missy.).
Now, dere are Two Catz in Our Warren: Cokie-da-Fat-Maine-Coon-Cat and Beep-da-Udder-Cat.
As Auntie Grace has pointed out, bof catz are solar-powered (they hab to lie onna footon, soaking up sun before they can manage enuf ennergy to do ennyfing). And as wiffa Dawg, they preddy much don't Travel Ennywhere 'Cept toda V-E-Ts or toda Spa, and Beep-da-Udder-Cat doesn't ebben hab to go toda Spa!
So I keep on reading. And I'm finking,
"All righty. Dis writer has menshuned Dawgs, and now Catz. Surely dis writer is now gonna menshun BunnyRabbits, (onna'count obba Fakt dat I hab gotten toda Pawt where she is tawkin' aboudda'commydayshuns for Pet Hotels)."
And I'm finking, "Hokay! I know Alla'bout dis subjeckt, onna'count obba Fakt dat Our Cuzzins frum Callyfornia, Beezer and his Bunwife, Sundae, (they lib wif Auntie Judith) allus stays atta lovely liddle place called 'BunnyLuv'. They ebben shared their Wedding 'Nanner there!"
Well, do you fink I saw One Werd Aboudda HouzRabbits in dis artykul inna "Travel" Sekshun obba Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online?
"No Pet Left Behind", my Small NZ white tail! You Left Us Bunnies Behind!
HouseRabbits are the THIRD Most Popular Pet inna'Merica, and there is not ONE WERD devoted to OUR Travelling, to OUR Comfort, to OUR Accomplishments, to OUR Unutterable Cuteness!
Where are the plates of Fresh-cut Veggies being placed out to welcome US? Which Airline is gonna offer Free In-Cabin Fly-Wif-Your-Hoomin? Which Hotel-chain is gonna realise dat WE are NOT "livestock"?
Hokay, so Maman and Dadda hire Pet-Sitters for Alla Us Togedder if they happin to ebben Fink ob Going On BayKayShun.
But lemme tell you, Da Dawg comes wif ONE page ob Instructions. Da Solar-Powered Catz come wif TWO pages ob Instructions (mostly hextplaining Why Cokie Horks).
But da HouzRabbits come wif FOUR Pages ob Single-Spaced Instructions, Inklooding:
- How to make Salads
- When to Feed Treats
- Who is Entitled to What
- Who gets What, First
- Whut to do IF.... (and dere's this whole, big, long list)
And that's IN ADDITION to "Emergency Evacuation Plans" just-in-case. (As Maman points out, "Saving the animals will be central to saving you.").
So, um, Wookit, Noo Yawk Times Noospaper Online, dere are more to "pets" then just "dawgs" and "cats", hokay?.
And just so you won't fink dat I'm complaining wiffout trying to help (wike so menny bloggers), I'm finkin' obba artykul idea For You. How aboudda Small artykul aboudda Make Mine Chocolate?
Dat wuld be a Troo "PetS" (please note da plural!) dat EbberyBunny would want to read!