Now Playing: Begging
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
You godda hab anna'prisyhayshun forda Daynamic at Our Warren: one commint frum Maman can start a Whole Chain ob Events and she doesn't ebben hab to be Trying To Start Ennyfing!
Wike Last Nite...
I was werkin' on my "Cute", you know, wike I do, and MissyBun was digging innu da pellet-crock, wike she does, and Mr Mouse and Beebe were just picking at their Raisins one-atta-time and watching Da Dawg clogging uppa doorway toda BunRoom as Maman was trying to put da lid onna Raisin container.
Reg'lar nite inna Warren at Bunny Bedtime.
So I'm werkin' on my Cute and standing up on my toes, wif my nose up-inn-air, whiskers wigglin'.
And Maman goes, "Oh Brian, wook at him!"
And Dadda comes and wooks and he grunts, "Charlotte, he's begging."
And Maman opins uppa Habbytat and starts petting my hed, so I whuffle her hand (still standin' on my toes, you know) and her fingers, being rilly careful not to make MissyBun's mistake and nibble on her come-frumma-store finger-nails (which are painted "garnet" dis week to match sum earrings Auntie Irene had gibbed her for her birfday awhile back).
And Maman hextclaims, "He's so cute!"
And Dadda grumbles, "But he's begging."
Anna stoopit Dawg starts to horn in on my Cute by placing himself rite *dere* at Maman's feets, sitting down and wooking up wike "Noble Dawg" innu her eyes.
And I'm busy whuffling her fingers wif my whiskers.
So MissyBun opins her mouf and digs deep innu da pellet-crock, shovelling in as menny pellets as she can. Anna whole wave ob pellets gets pushed ober da side obba crock out onna floor and goes bouncing down da Dawg's neck, ober his back and innu his fur.
Ob course, he's so busy playing up on his "Noble Dawg" fing and horning in on my "Cute" fing dat he doesn't notis he's now fulla pellets.
And Maman says to Dadda, "Oh wook, Brian! Missy does the widdle bucket-mouf fing just wike Hunny used to do Isn't dat cute? I've never known anudder BunnyRabbit who did dat!"
"And she's spreadin' pellets out all ober da floor." Dadda adds, and you can just tell he's grumpy abouddit.
Anna Dawg suddinly reelizin' he's fulla pellets, is wike, "Hey!"
And MissyBun is wike, "Wookit, Dawg, Bugger off back innu da Kitchen. I'm diggin' for raisins heerin dis crock."
Anna Dawg is wike, "Well, I'm waiting for my cookies!"
And Mouse glares atta Dawg and snaps, "Well, wait sumwhere's else!"
And Maman sticks her fingers innu da pellet-crock, and Missy gets all concerned and she's wike, "Hey! What'reya doin'? Get'cher hand outta my pellets!"
And Maman is wike, "Don't shub my hand, Missy, I'm just trying to push your pellets back innu da crock, SweetieBun."
And so I quick stick my hed unnerneaf ob Maman's hand and then tilt it up, so her fingers slide down my nose insted ob fru Missy's pellets, and I'm wike, "Pet me! Pet me! I'm Cute! I'm Cute!"
And Maman calls ober her shoulder to Dadda, "Did you ebber notis dat Missy hassa pointed widdle face, while George hassa liddle square snout?"
And Dadda's wike, "Whut?"
And I wook at Missy and Missy wooks at me and we bof wook atta Dawg and it's wike, "Whutdaheck?" alla-round.
Because wif Maman, dese fings just come outta No Where, sumtimes.
And Maman says to Dadda, rilly patient-wike, "Did you ebber notis dat Missy hassa pointed widdle face, and dat George's face is more square." And den she adds, "I wonder iffit issa male/female characteristic, wike wiffa Catz."
So she calls Da Dawg ober to her.
And onna'count obba Fakt he finks dere's a cookie innit, he bounces ober to her and comes sliding to a stop on his butt, so dat his hed is right uppa'gainst her hip-bone.
And Maman says to Dadda, "See? Marc hassa pointy snout wiffa square end where his nose issa'tached."
And Dadda says, "Becos he's a Border Collie. All Border Collies wook wike dat."
And Maman finks fora minit and den she says, "But wif cats, females habba more pointy face. Wook at Phil's KayCee Kitty. She hassa pointy face, and so does Beep-da-Udder-Cat. And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat hassa square face, wike George-da-Bun."
And Maman wanders back my way, so I stand up on my toes and resume doing my Cute.
And Dadda's wike, "Charlotte, he's begging again."
And Maman, who is now srota concentrating on me, says to him inna absent-minded sorta way, "I know, Brian." and then adds, "But he's cute."
And she starts to take da lid offa da raisin can again.
But MissyBun is not notising dis onna'count obba Fakt dat she is deep innu da pellet-crock
And I'm finking, "Yeah! Da Cute is about to pay off!"
And Dadda says, "I wish you wouldn't do that, Charlotte. It only encourages him."
And in dat absent-minded way, Maman says, "Yeah. I know." and goes on, opining da raisin can.
And Dadda warns her, "If you gib to wun, you gotta gib wun to all."
And Maman says, wike she's sleep-walkin, "Yeah. I know."
And wif her long, come-frumma-store finger-nails, she scoops out a raisin and sort ob pushes it between my lips. So I wrap my lips around da raisin and scoop it right off ob her finger-nail and back innu my mouf.
And nobunny sees a fing.
And just as I'm chewin', MissyBun's hed whips around frumma pellet-crock and she goes, "Whut'chu got?" fru a mouf-fulla pellets.
And I mumble "Nuffin'." onna'count obba Fakt dat I am chewin'.
And Missy gib me "Dat Wook" and sticks her hed back innu da Crock.
Anna Dawg, who has been plastered uppa'gainst Maman's hip wooks up wif Big Bloo Eyes and says, "I seed dat, BunnyRabbit. And unless I gedda raisin, I'm gonna tell."
And Maman says, wike she's readin' da not-too-cryptic dawg-mind, "Raisins are poisonous for Dawgs. Markie wanna cookie?"
And all datta Stoopit Dawg hears issa werd "cookie", and so he goes bouncing away fru da BunRoom innu da Kitchin and stands by His Cupboard, waggin' wike mad, sayin' "Cookie! Cookie! Marc gedda cookie!" ober and ober. Which just goes to show you how easily the Border Collie train-ob-thought can be derailed - toss a cookie onna points and watch da trainwreck.
And I'm still sittiing inna Loaf position, chewing my raisin, and MissyBun is still wif her hed inna pellet-crock, ploughing pellets innu her mouf.
And I hear Maman inna Kitchen, saying toda Dawg, "Hokay, Marc, dat's all. All Gone." And I know dat she is showing him her hands, wif her fingers all spread out, so he knows dat he has had alla Cookies he's gonna ged, which happins to be Three.
And Maman heads off innu da Dining Room and I hear her say to Dadda, "Well, they have all had their treats."
And Dadda says, "I'll turn out the lights."
So he comes innu da BunRoom, shuts out Our Light and Maman and Dadda bof say, "Nite, Bunnies!" and Dadda calls da Dawg and off dey go to Bed.
And den I hear Maman again, "I love George's square liddle face! Did you see, Bri?"
And I hear Dadda frumma Bedroom, and he says, "Yes. I saw. But you rilly hab to stop dat - gibbin him treats whin he begs."
And Maman says, rilly bright-wike, "But it's so cute!" Dat square widdle face wiffa prehensile lips!"
And Dadda says, patient-wike, "Yes dear."
And you can hear da tension in his voice, and I['m finkin' to myself, "Yeah, but Maman allus wins, cos she's just so darned Cute!"
And den Dadda adds sumfing - and you know, it's worrisome - becos he adds, "But it's George we're talking about heer, Love. And George isn't wike udder bunnies. George learns..."
And I'm finnking, "Uh oh..."