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Wednesday, 14 February 2007
George's Second Strand (2007); Day Number 14
Now Playing: Hoppy Valentine's Day Sno!
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

Yeah!

Well, we gots SNO!

And ice, and sum rain dat freezed, so all-in-all, it is preddy slippery out dere.

So Maman, onna'count ob she issa Wedder Weenie, knew dis Storm was coming. So by last Saturday, she had gone toda Market, buyed us Greens, and bought Milk and Bread and Stuff to make Veggytubble Soop and was all reddy for dis Storm to blow in.

Den Sistah Beffy came ober on Monday and Maman made shure dat she wint shoppin' for herself and Adam and Anastasia Elizabeth (whom we habbin't ebben seed yet!) so dat they had alla stuff dey needed whin da Storm arrived at dere houz, which is just ober a liddle ways frum Our Warren.

And Maman sed to Sistah Beffy, "Wookit. Frum now on, you will allus be reddy for Sno Storms. So whin you hear wun is coming, you go out toda store and you buy Bread, Milk, Stuff to make Veggytubble Soop and Greens forda Bunnies. Dis is becos you are now a Mawmie and dis is Whut We Do." 

And Sistah Beffy sed, "I don't hab Bunnies."

And Maman sed, "Den you buy Greens ennyways and bring them to me for Our Warren."

And Sistah Beffy got to take home some boxes. One wassa BIG box frumma Lewis Warren!

And Sistah Beffy opined uppa Box and inside was a lotta fings all wrapped up in widdle soft blankies. And I was wookin' at wunna da blankies and I sed to Missy,

"I wike these. You can rilly scratch dem up inna nice, soft pile."

And Missy sort ob pulled at wun wif her teefies while I was wookin' at sum ribbon, and sum how or anudder,  Dadda came along and scooped us up, and we managed to land right back inna Bun Room.

But bifore dat happined, we noticed dat dere wassa soft Teddy Bear right dere inna box, and sum more blankies, and sum ribbons, and stuff.

All for Anastasia Elizabeth whom we hab nebber seed! So Whut's Up Wif Dat?  How does Anastasia Elizabeth get alla dis stuff whin nobun has rilly ebber ebben seen her?

Ennyways... 

Inside obba Box dere wassa Buk for Pikchurs for Maman wrapped inna Bunny Baby Blankie. I guess dis is so she can take pikchurs ob Alla Us Togedder to show ebberybunny she knows! Now dat is preddy cool! 'Cept dere wassa werd "BABY" onna frunt ob dis Buk. Well, I usta be Babby George, so mebbe alla pikchurs innit will be only ob me. But ennyfing to spread da werd aboud how GREAT it is to lib wif HouseRabbits!

So ennyways, Maman sed to Dadda last nite, "Well, da Storm is starting and Phil-da-Lad hasn't called yet. Do you fink he's got Bread, Milk anna Stuff to make Veggytubble Soop, or would he anna'Lanna be planning to come out to come here in this?."

And dey watched sum car go sliding sideways downna street onna ice.

And Dadda sed to Maman, "He can't be dat stoopit."

And just den, the tellyphone rang.

And Dadda sed, "You hadda say sumfing, didn't you?"

So Phil anna'Lanna came on ober inna car and Maman gabe dem Stuff to make Veggytubble Soop, and Kitty food, and dey stayed to hab dinner ob Bangers and Mash.

And dey watched da cars slidin' downna street.

And prob'ly Payton, who issa Basset Hound atta Lewis Warren and knows Phil onna'count obba Fakt dat Phil grew up wif Our Warren's Ancient Dawg who was also a Basset Hound, had putta widdle package inside obba box for Sistah Beffy dat sed "Uncle Phil" onnit.

So Phil unwrapped it, and it wassa Bunny-spinner Toy!

Well, Phil got all hextcited and couldn't wait to get it unwrapped and make it start spinning. And he's sitting there atta dinner-table, eating his Bangers and Mash and playing wif dis Bunny-Spinner toy. Wike he's eight yers old. 'Cept dat he issn't. He's twenty-three yeers old and Maman started telling him dat he Bedda Act His Age.

Anna'Lanna sed to him, "Wookit, it has widdle bunny-shaped candies inna handle! May I hab wun?"

And Phil says, "No. I'm playing wiffit. Who cares aboud candies? I had wunna dees whin I was widdle and I LUBBED IT! How did Auntie Michelle know I needed anudder wun? Dis is so cool!"

And Missy sed, "Well if it's bunny-shaped and got bunny-shaped candies inside, you just know dat sum Basset Hound didn't fink obbit. Dat's a Bunny-Idea. It was all Toodles' anna Lewis Buns' idea!" 

Anna Dawg wandered out innu da Bun Room frumma Dining Room and he sed, "Dere's no chance ob us geddin enny candies. He won't put it down long enuf for me to gedda look attit!"

And Mouse is wike, "Ebben though Maman told him not to play wif stuff atta table?"

Anna Dawg shrugged. "He isn't ebben listening. Cos he's gotta toy. You know, alla "toys" in dis houz usually belong to me, and I keep dem in my Baskit, but I can't ebben get a look-in at dis wun cos he won't let go obbit."

And Missy sed, "Doesn't take much to 'muse dat boy." 

And out inna Dining Room Phil anna'Lanna were getting on dere coats, hats and Lagomorphin Enterprises gloves to go home. 

And it took Phil ten minuts to clean alla ice offa his Lancer Car.

Anna Dawg got bored standin' atta Frunt Door watchin' him, so he wandered out innu da Bun Room and sed,

"Dere issa whole lotta cold air comin' in frum dat Frunt Door!"

And Beebe is wike, "Cold air! Close da door, Stoopit!"

Anna Dawg sed, "Maman sed we can't onna'count obba Fakt dat it would be impolite. We hab to wave 'Good-Bye'. But I'm telling you, it's gonna be a short Patrol t'nite!"

So now it's tidday, which is Valentine's Day and it is sno'ing on top obba ice, which Maman sed, will make driving and walking a Preddy Inneresting Hextperience. And she sed datta schools are all closed, so alla Mawmies had bedda hab stuff to 'muse da kidlets.

And Missy sed, "Well, we know we dat Dat Wun Cubbered, fanks to Toodles anna Lewis-Buns, and Payton-Basset-Hound." 

And downnastairs inna Kitchin, dere is Veggytubble Soop onna stove.

So it's a Reg'lar Sno Storm, wif ice, and Bread and Milk and greens, and Veggytubble Soop. Which is how it's s'sposed to be. 

Oh and dat's beminded me! Lilly da Basset Hound and her friend Penny lib nextest door to us. You want sum Veggytubble Soop? You can hab your Mawmie MaryBef email Our Warren a vze334vw@verizon.net and MissyBun sed she will letta Dawg know so he can tell Maman!

------------------ By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 1:05 PM EST
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Monday, 12 February 2007
George's Second Strand (2007); Day Number 12
Now Playing: Fittin' Innu
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

Well, I changed the Calendar Fingy ober dere onna left-hand side obba Blog, becos although the Index Fingy might hab been more useful for lookin' for Previous Entries obba Blog (since it goes alla way back to Belinda's Blog in 2004!),  but dis Calendar Fingy looks Bedda. Da Index Fing just looks messy. To me, ennyways.

And I'm messing around wiffa way da Fonts werk, too. I kinda thought yestiddays looked too BIG, so tidday I went wif dis "10pt" wun. You gedda'nuff "Opshuns" going and you can RILLY screw fings up! I just wish I culd put inna pikchurs! But dat feetchur still won't werk for me! ("Tripod Guys are you heering me?!")

So, ennyways...

Yestidday sumwun sed sumfing aboudda bunnies "fittin' innu da family".

Anna Dawg came by and sed sumfing wike we hab to fit innu da "Pack". Den Cokie-da-Fat-Cat arrived saying we was part ob his "Chowder" and MissyBun (who was sittin' inna Noo Pootypan) sed dey were part ob Alla Us Togedder part of Our Warren where we preddy much make up our own mind aboud Who We Are and Whut We Do

It is wike dis:

I hab rilly big ears. If I hear sumfing at Nite, and it sounds like it might be Ob Concern, whut issa Logical Fing for a Bunny to do?

'Lert da Warren.

So how do I, George BunnyRabbit, go aboutta job of 'Lerting da Warren to a P'tenshul Threat?

Well, I am One Small New Zealand Rabbit out heer inna Bun Room, in my habbytat wiffa rest obba bunnies, but we can't do much, you know? So I *THUMP* - which in Lagomorphin (which is Our Language) means Hey-Lookit-I-Heer-Sumfing-Dangerous-Ebberybunny-Wook-Out!

And heer comes Da Dawg to see Whut Is Going On.

Now Seeing Whut Is Going On issa Dawg's Job, and becos dis Dawg issa Border Collie, he LOVES jobs, and dis is wun ob his. So he doesn't ebben hab to unnerstand Lagomorphin; he heers da *THUMP* and has to come see Whut Is Going On. Becos he issa Dawg and dis is his Job where he fits innu da Warren.

So great. He hassa job to do, which is to axt me "Whutssamatta, George BunnyRabbit?"

So I tell him, "Lookit, I herd sumfing." And he snuffles around for a minit and den goes, "Hokay, lemme gedda hoomin." and goes off to wake up Dadda.

Now, you see, heer is where dere isssa P'tenshul for Problems, onna'count obba Fakt dat hoomins who do not unnerstand Dawg will not unnerstand datta Dawg is just Doing His Job, which is Whut He Does, whinna Dawg wakes uppa hoomin up afta I *THUMP*.

Stoopit hoomins, who can only Fink in hoomin-terms, tend to fink datta Dawg is just being 'Noying whin he wakes dem up onna'count obba Fakt datta bunnyrabbit has *THUMPED*. Our Dadda, howebber, unnerstans Dawg, and knows dat Waking Up Dadda, who issa Alpha Dawg issa Propa Response fora Puzzled Beta Dawg.

And Marc-da-Border-Collie puzzles preddy easy, lemme tell you!

So Our Dadda puts on his Bafrobe and comes out innu da Bun Room to see Whutsamatta Wiffa Dawg, which brings him nextest to me, George BunnyRabbit, who wass wun who *THUMPED* inna Furst Place.

So as Dadda is opinin da Back Door to let outta Dawg to go on Patrol inna Back Gardin onna'count obba Fakt da Dawg has waked him up, Dadda axts me, "Whut's up wif You Buggers?"

And so I ged to tell him Whut I Herd, which is Whut I Do in Our Warren, which is, namely, to 'Lert Da Warren whin I hear sumfing dat I fink might be a Threat.

And Dadda, who issa Alpha  Dawg anna Hoomin Who Makes Sure Alla Us Togedder Are Safe, says to me, "Ebberyfing is hokay, George. Go on back to sleep."

And gibs me a treat or a pet or sumfing.

Den he lets inna Dawg and we all preddy much seddle down and I go back Onna'Lert until I hear sumfing else.

And dat's How It Werks.

Hoomins hab to lern to see Fings frumma'nudder Point ob View. It's not wike Da Dawg is doing ennyfing dat is Not Dawg-like. He is doing a fine job ob being a Dawg. In Fakt, I would say dat he is Preddy Darn Good at Being a Dawg! For a Dawg. Just wike I amma Preddy Good BunnyRabbit.

We are all just Doing Whut We Do, Alla Us Togedder, heer at Our Warren.

I will gib you a'nudder hext'ample.

Do you bemember whin Sheeba came heer to visit us (and brought Unkul Peter wif her), and Sheeba hadda BunPen Uppastairs while Alla Us Togedder were heer Downnastairs inna Bun Room

Yeah. 

Well, Da Dawg came frum Uppystairs and sed to Alla Us Togedder, "Hey! Dere issa'nudder bunnyrabbit up dere dat I don't know! So I snuffled her and she sed, 'Hey! You! I'm Sheeba, and Whodaheck are you?' so Whut do I do?"

So I was wike, "Axt her if she wants sum hay."

Soda Dawg went back Uppystairs and den he comed back and told us dat Sheeba alreddy had sum hay and was habbin' a nap and dat ebbryfing was fine. And we were wike, "Hokay, so wike, we don't need to *THUMP* ober dis, she issa'nudder bunnyrabbit and she is Hokay."

And so Sheeba told Da Dawg whut was going on wif her Uppystairs and Da Dawg came down and told us Whut Sheeba Sed. And dat was "D-Mail" and it werked. Dere were no *THUMPS* ob Werry, cos we didn't hab to be Werried. We were communykating wif each udder by way obba Dawg doing his Job

And sum Hoomins don't see dat kinda Fing going on, ebben in dere own homes!

Dey don't unnderstan dat Alla Us Togedder are Wun Big Warren, wif each bunny innit just Doing Whut Dey Do

Hoomins habba place inna Warren, but dey aren't Da Warren. Da Warren is Alla Us Togedder, and ebberybunny has to find dere place innit.

Now I know dat sumtimes it is berry hard for sum Species to lern to lib togedder. Our Warren is preddy much an Hextceptshun ob inner-species  co-operatib relashunships, Maman says, onna'count obba Fakt dat Belinda Bunny taught Maman alla Roolz (and not ebberybunny hassa Belinda Bunny to teach dem, Maman says.) and Maman makes whut she calls Policy around heer, lemme tell you! 

Maman says its all in ebberybunny lerning to Fit Innu da Warren, not trying to Make da Warren Fit ebberybunny. 

Bunnies axtchually know alla'bout Fittin Innu. It's Whut We Do. It's how We Make Our Warren.

"Ebberybunny hassa Place inna Warren and inna Warren dere issa Place for Ebberybunny". - Belinda Bunny (ATB)

And dere is allus room for Wun More...

-----------------------By George

 

 

 


Posted by Our Warren at 8:13 AM EST
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Sunday, 11 February 2007
George's Second Strand, 2007; Day Number 11
Now Playing: Bunnies-Inna-Dark!
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

Yeah, we are. 

It's bin TWO WEEKS and we heer at Our Warren, STILL dunno ennyfing aboudda "baby"!

Dis is re'dicullus.

Hokay, I'll tell you Whut We Know So Far...

  1. Anastasia Elizabeth arrived TWO Saturdays ago, and LIFE around heer sure has bin bizzy!
  2. LIFE around heer has bin BIZZY, but WIFFOUT US!
  3. Bunnies hab bin kept INNA DARK!

Yeah!

So we don't know ennyfing aboudda "baby" but we know a whole lot aboudda Anastasia Elizabeth.

She arrived alla suddin, Maman sed, whch is s'sposed to be good fing. And she is berry small, because Maman sed dat I am axtchually BIGGER den she is! I amma 7 lb., 3 oz. "Small NZ" bunnyrabbit and she issa 5 lb., 8 oz. hoomin. So I am bigger! MissyBun, a Beautiful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns issa LOT bigger den bof ob us!

Howebber, dispite her small size, she is preddy much causing as much trubble for us assa rilly BIG critter.

Maman and Dadda were outta da Houz almost alla da time da Last Week ob January anna Furst Week ob February! Dey wuld leeb inna morning and Dadda wuld say toda Dawg, "On  Guard!"

Well, you know whut dat means - Da Dawg suddinly finks he is "In Charge" ob ebberyfin inna Houz.

So since Maman and Dadda allus close da Bedroom door, he goes to sit wherebber else it is dat Maman and Dadda sit, wike onna sofa inna Sitting Room. And dis makes Cokie-da-Fat-Cat mad, onna'count obba Fakt dat he fink alla sofas ('cept da wun inna Living Room) are his.

Soda Dawg is wike, "Wookit, I'm In-Charge."

And we're wike, "Uh huh." and go back to Whut We're Doing.

Anna Two Catz are wike, "Whutebber."

Anna heater goes off and on, anna Big Clock inna Living Room ticks and makes chimes. Da sunbeams moob around da Houz anna Catz moob wif dem.

And preddy soon, Alla Us Togedder heer in Our Warren are wike, "Hey! It's geddin' DARK inna Bun Room!"

Anna Dawg is wike, "Well, I can't do ennyfing aboud'dat. I can't reach da lamp."

Anna Catz are wike, "It's not our problem."

Anna heater goes off and on, anna Big Clock inna Living Room ticks and makes chimes. Anna sumbeams go off anna Catz moob innu da Sitting Room onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman isn't dere to tell dem to ged out.

Anna Dawg goes to sit byda Frunt Door becos he is "On Guard" and finks he is "In Charge" obba Houz.

And now it is DARK.

So we're feeling around for food and hay and suchnot, and da heater goes off and on, anna Big Clock inna Living Room ticks and makes chimes.

And it's STILL DARK!

And suddinly, dere's a whole lotta noise, anna Dawg starts to whine and here comes Maman and Dadda and dey are talkin' about Sistah Beffy, Adam and Anastasia Elizabeth!

And Maman suddinly says, "Oh no! Bunnies-inna-Dark!" and turns on Our Lamp.

And den da Houz comes alive again - and we ged Salads, anna Fuss, anna Catz go Uppystairs and hab sum food, anna Dawg goes outta Back Door on Patrol, and geds his Dinner and Cookies. Den we ged our Treats and Maman and Dadda (who are *still* talkin' aboud Ananstasia Elizabeth!) go innu da Bedroom and go to sleep.

Anna nextest day, da whole Process repeats itself!

So DEN...

Maman geds *sik* wiffa floo. And she is in bed inna Bedroom and Dadda's runnin' alla 'round and we're Alla Us Togedder  still inna Bun Room, wonderin' Whuttaheck is goin' on.

Anna Dawg doesn't know ennyfing, 'cept dat he is "On Guard!" whin Dadda goes out. Anna Catz don't know ennyfing onna'count obba Fakt dat dey are Catz.

And now dere issa Pile ob Presents dat Maman says are for Anastasia Elizabeth!

So, you know, heer we are, FINALLY Uppastairs inna Study! And Maman is FINALLY geddin' around to letting us do Whut We Do.

Butta whole Fing is, we haben't herd Wun Werd aboudda "Baby" fora Long Time!

And we habn't SEEN dis "Anastasia Elizabeth" who ebberyone is runnin' all ober for!  Who is she? Where is she? WHUT is she?

And where has Sistah Beffy gone? We habbin't seed her in WEEKS!

So yeah. Da Lack ob Infortymayshun around heer sorta sucks.

Becos nuffin' ebber changes, you know?

Da heater still goes off and on, anna Big Clock inna Living Room still ticks and makes chimes. Anna sunbeams moob alla'round da Houz, wiffa Catz in dere wake, while da Dawg goes in-and-out da Back Door on Patrol.

so, well,  we'll let you know when sumfing happins...

---------------------- By George  

 


Posted by Our Warren at 12:20 PM EST
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Friday, 19 January 2007
George's Furst Strand ob 2007; Day Number 19
Now Playing: 'Lert Loop
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Ebbery Bunny inna Warren hassa job. Dat's just Whut We Do. Ebberybunny hassa Place, and ebberybunny is Needed. We are Alla Us Togedder to make a warren.

Onna'count obba Fakt dat ebberybunny is allus bedder at sumfings . We all hab Gifts. So ebbery bunny takes part inna running ob stuff and No Bun Gets Left Out or is OnAlone. EbberyBun is needed inna Warren, and NoBun is ebber useless! 

Dat's whut it means to be Alla Us Togedder!

So, in Our Warren, I amma 'Lert Bunny. Dis means dat I stay awake all night Onna'Lert, making sure datta Warren is safe. I sleep all day to make dis happin, but dat is Hokay onna'count obba Fakt dat I amma NightBunny preddy much ennyways - meaning dat wike sum hoomins, I am more inclined to sleep during da day and be awake at night.

And you gotta'mit, da Werld needs those ob us whose Biological Clocks are set to run inna Dark. We might be dif'frunt frum you, but we are da wuns who run alla Power Stations, and 'Mergency Services, and Hospiddles, and Noos Outlets, and ebberyfing else dat is Opin All Night. Inna Anglican Lore, we beleeb God knew Whut He Was Doing  whin He created Alla Kinds ob Beings.

So ennyways, I amma 'Lert Bunny heer at Our Warren.

Dis is how it werks:

I sleep all day so I can be awake alla Night Long. I stay awake, wif my ears standing up, scooping in alla sounds frum ebberywheres inna Houz and frum Outside. Dere is nuffin' dat I don't hear. And I know alla sounds, just as I was told alla them frum me,Hunny frum when he wassa 'Lert Bunny bifore I growed Tellygint enuf to habba job.

So I stay awak alla Night, inna Dark and Listen. And if I hear a Noise that I don't recognise, I give an Alarm *THUMP*.

This *THUMP* issa berry Old Rabbit Signal that can be herd above ground and also down unner da ground, inna Burrows. It means "Danger ", and it is Serious. I don't hab these Big Feets for nuffin'. 

Well, when I *THUMP* heer at Our Warren, that usually brings Da Dawg, who is Hed ob HomeFruntDoor Sekurity. He also stays awake, staying Onna'Lert for Intruders or Danger.

So when I *THUMP*, he comes frum wherebber he happins to be inna Houz, sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da Habbytat and axts, "Hey George BunnyRabbit, whutssamatta? You all right?"

Now, dis issa Dawg, doing His Job, and he issa Border Collie and Border Collies LOVE habbin' JOBS. It's Whut Border Collies Do.

Ob course, sumtimes, he is so pleased to habba Job, dat he sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da wrong habbytat. And Mr Mouse and Beebe bof hab Strickt Roolz aboudda Where Dawgs Shuld Stick Inquiring Noses, and Most obba Roolz revolve around  "Not In My Habbytat". So whenna Dawg sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da Wrong Habbytat, he usually geds peed on. 

But dis is mostly onna'count obba Fakt dat they are not Onna'Lert at Night and he has waked them up by sticking his Inquiring Nose where it doesn't belong. Mr Mouse issa 'Lert Bunny when it is Day.

So ennyways, Da Dawg comes and axts me,

"Whutssamatta, Geroge BunnyRabbit?"

And I'll tell him Whut I Herd

Anna Dawg will ponder dis.

And he'll axt me, "Did you hear a Cat?"

And I'll say, "I dunno."

Then den he'll axt me, "Did you hear sumfing inna BackGardin?"

And I'll say, "I dunno."

And nestest he'll axt me, "Was it a Cat Uppystairs?"

And I'll say, "I dunno."

And den he'll say, "So whut was it?"

And I'll say, "Dat's why I *THUMPED*! Onna'count obba Fakt dat I dunno!" 

And onna'count obba Fakt dat Dadda says Da Dawg shares a brain-cell wiffa Cokie-Cat, anna Cokie-Cat has alreddy taken da cell Uppystairs forda night, da Da Dawg is now 'Fishully Puzzled.

And whin Da Dawg is Puzzled, he goes off to axt Dadda Whut He Shuld Do Nestest.

Now, ob course, Dadda and Maman are alreddy asleep inna BedRoom onna' count obba Fakt dat it is Night.

But in order to axt Dadda ennyfing, Da Dawg hasta wake Dadda up, and 'splain Whut's Going On.

So Da Dawg sticks his Inquiring Nose innu Dadda's armpit, and den Dadda' wakes up, rilly alla-sudden way, and Makes Dis *BIG SURPRISED* kinda NOISE.

And I'm out heer, inna Bun Room, finkin' "Whutdaheck?"

So I *THUMP*...

...and heer comes Da Dawg, back frumma BedRoom innu da Bun Room, all hextcited, and he's axting, "Whutdaheckssamatta?" 

And Dadda's all awake inna BedRoom going...

...nebber mind whut he's going onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman says HouseBunnies shouldn't know Those Werds.  

But it makes me *THUMP*, again, which brings Da Dawg running back, and preddy soon, it kind ob gets a lot like a string ob computer commands, that We heer in Our Warren call the "'Lert Loop  :

  • IF Noise + George = *Thump*, Then
  • George + *Thump* = Dawg, Then
  • *Thump* + Dawg = Perplexity, Then
  • Perplexity + Dawg = Dadda, Then
  • Dadda + Dawg = Noise, Then
  • REPEAT

Wiffa end result that there issa Whole Wotta Noise going on, sum obbit in Bunny-thumps, and sum obbit in whut Maman calls Anglo-Saxon, anna Dawg ends up Outside habbin a Short Patrol obba BackGardin wedder he wants to or Not. Which preddy much stops the 'Lert Loop, but not bifore ebberybunny inna whole ob Our Warren is Wide Awake...

...Inna middle obba Night...

...so...ennyways... It is now preddy much Time for me to Hab Sum Hay and Habba Nap onna'count obba Fakt dat it is Day, Mr Mouse is Onna'Lert and I need to ged sum sleep...

----------------- By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 10:37 AM EST
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Wednesday, 17 January 2007
George's Furst Stand ob 2007; Day Number 17
Now Playing: Waiting for Law & Order
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

So ennyway...

Mr Mouse is really, RILLY 'noyed onna'count obba Fakt that evn though he issa 'Fishul Spokesbun and Mascot for Lagomorphin Enterprises, LLC., the big, fairly noo tellyvision inna Sitting Room heer at Our Warren won't gedda good pikchur frumma channel-fingy so his old friends frumma show Law & Order can't come where he can see them. 

Hokay, lemme hextplain, because dis is alla'bout Habbin' Choice, and Habbin Friends. Anna Small Mouse-coloured HouseBunny, whose name is Mr Mouse. I'd put inna pikchur ob him, but Tripod is *still* not letting me! (And I 'pologise for da "Comments" fingy not werking right, eidder. Mebbe sumbunny frum Tripod will see dis and FIXIT!)

Ennyways...

Birfore Mr Mouse came to live at Our Warren, he wassa Special Friend to a very wunnerful man who came frum sumplace called "Liberia". And when The Man Frum Liberia was forced to gib up Mr Mouse, because his gurly bondmate-wife didn't want The Man Frum Liberia to lib wif Mr Mouse ennymore (or she would leave), The Man Frum Liberia didn't know Whut To Do. He didn't want to just turn Mr Mouse Out Obba House to try and lib OnAlone because he knew that Domestic HouseBunnies can't survive inna wild, and he wassa'fraid to just *gib* Mr Mouse to ennybunny because there are sum Very Bad People who are cruel to bunnies Out Inna Werld.

So, in order to be shure in his own heart that his dearest friend inna Whole Werld, that is, Mr Mouse, wuld nebber be hurted or skert, The Man Frum Liberia took Mr Mouse toda V-E-T's and asked dat his liddle friend be helped toda Rainbow Bridge, where he would allus be Safe.

Well, the V-E-T saw Mr Mouse and his widdle friend, LuckieBun, and felt sad datta Man Frum Liberia was being forced innu making such a terrible choice. So he axted The Man Frum Liberia if he wuld like forda V-E-T to call sum Bunny People who might adopt Mr Mouse and gib him and LuckieBun a Noo Home!

So The Man Frum Liberia told da V-E-T, "Yes! Please call those people!"

And that's how Mr Mouse and LuckieBun came to lib at Our Warren.

And something Maman discovered about Mr Mouse wassat he recognised da music he heard onna Tellyvision one night! And he made a big fuss in his habbytat, until Dadda piked him up and carried him innu da Sitting Room and let him sit onna Sofa nextest to Maman. And Maman let Mr Mouse hab sum Rice Chex cereals in his own liddle bowl, while he sat onna pillow and watched the show wiffa music he'd recognised.

And that show was Law & Order!

So ebbery time Mr Mouse hears the music frumma tellyvision show, Law & Order, he makes a big fuss, throwing toys and tipping ober stuff until he's piked up and taken innu da Sitting Room, placed on his pillow, gibbin his bowl ob cereal and allowed to watch his show, Law & Order. And when his show is ober, he gibs Maman a widdle nip (because he doesn't wike to watch da Noos; ONLY Law & Order) and goes back home to his Habbytat.

So ennyways.

Da old tellyvision inna Sitting Room broke, and it couldn't be fixed, so Maman and Dadda (who didn't know enny bedda) went out and buyed dis big silver Tellyvision called an HDTV because it was on sumfing called a "sale". And they put it inna Sitting Room and brought Mr Mouse in to see his show, Law & Order, onnit.

Well, Mr Mouse sed dat pikchur was so BIG and so BRIGHT, that he thought dat alla stuff he was seeing was gonna jump offa dat tellyvision box, right innu da room wif him! And he was skert!

But then, it didn't, so he was Hokay.

But da fing is datta place where da pikcher comes frum changed da way da pikchur arrives at Our Warren's Tellyvision and now it doesn't come innu da Sitting Room all clear and BIG ennymore. It's all fuzzy, LOUD and 'noying.

And its been this way fora coupla months, so Mr Mouse hasn't been able to watch alla his friends on Law & Order. And he misses seeing his friends because they are kinda his last ties to his furst friend, The Man Frum Liberia. And this kinda sucks, you know, and is Depressin' for a Small, Mouse-coloured HouseRabbit.

And Mr Mouse seems so sad, sometimes that it makes Maman sad, too. So she and Mr Mouse tried watching "CIS:NY" and "CIS:Miami" and "NCIS" but Mouse sed he didn't rekonnize enny friends dere, and nuthin' to bemind him obba Man Frum Liberia, so he just told Maman to bring him back to his habbytat where he Sulked. He didn't ebben eat enny ob his Rice Chex cereal frum his liddle bowl, and so Maman felt bad for him.

And Maman sed the Whole Problem was down to Cable

Yeah.

If we had Cable, we would also hab Law & Order. But Maman and Dadda sed dat we weren't gonna hab Cable onna'count obba Fakt dat in order to hab Cable, we wuld hab to pay alotta "munny" for useless stuff Maman and Dadda don't want, and ennyways, Verizon (who supplies our tellyphone and 'puters and ebberyfing else) was gonna get Cable soonest. 

And then Our Warren would get Cable, too, and Mr Mouse would hab Law & Order back!

Yeah, well, Whut Happined is dis: The Cable Company sed dat nobun can hab Verizon Cable onna'count obba Fakt dat dey are da Onliest Cable Comp'ny ALLOWED to supply tellyvision inna Whole Area! And if Maman and Dadda wanna hab *enny cable at all* it will be frum Them!

And Maman got mad and sed sumfing aboud dis being 'Murica and she would ged Cable frum whomebber she damn-well liked, and if we hadda wait until Verizon could supply us wif Cable, den we wuld.

So heer we are, waiting...

...A whole Warren ob nice HouzRabbits, a Dawg, Two Catz anna Maman anna Dadda, all waiting to be allowed to hab Choice so we can watch One Tellyvision show along wif One Small Mouse-coloured BunnyRabbit Who Is Missing His Friend Frum Liberia.

Whut issa matta wif da Cable Company dat dey are afraid obba widdle competition frum Verizon? Why can't people choose to hab dere Cable come frum da Comp'ny dey want?

Maman says we gotta 'peshul Fibre-Optik-Cable allreddy inna houz; all sumbunny needs to do is to FLIP WUN STOOPIT SWITCH - and Mr Mouse can habba visit wif his friends frum Law & Order.

Mr Mouse says dat he's willing to talk to Verizon about being a Spokesbun for them so he can habba visit frum his old friends at Law & Order and be beminded ob The Man Frum Liberia who lubbed him so much dat he wuld nebber leave them OnAlone and instead brought Mr Mouse and LuckieBun to Our Warren.

All Verizon hasta do is to call me, George, (and I will talk to Maman)  onna'count obba Fakt that Mr Mouse is too 'noyed to ebben talk to ennybunny right now. Because ebben though Mouse loves Maman and loves Dadda and loves being part obba MultiSpecies Home heer at Our Warren, he still would like to sit onna Sofa, on his pillow inna Sitting Room, and eat Rice Chex frum his widdle bowl and hab his old friends frum Law & Order come to pay a call, just for an hour, just wike dey allus did when he was libbin' wiffa Man Frum Liberia.

And den Mr Mouse will be able to go back to his habbytat afta watching Law & Order wif Maman, and hab sum hay and habba nap, and be a Happy HouseRabbit, knowing dat he is not ebber going to be OnAlone, and dat Sumbunny allus Cares For Him and dat He allus Cares For Sumbunny.

And dat, you know, is all a HouseBunny rilly ebber needs.

------------- By George   


Posted by Our Warren at 9:45 AM EST
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Tuesday, 16 January 2007
George's Furst Strand of 2007: Day Number 16
Now Playing: An Apology, and Latin
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises

Furst ob all, I want to apologise for yestiday's Blog being slightly messed up. Maman is changing around da "Fonts" command, trying to make The Hay Diaries easier to read, and then doesn't Tripod go and scramble summa my werds when it goes to publish dem toda Werld Wide Web? It is almost too much to bare (meaning dat it wooks a wot wike I was typing stuff wiffa nekkid brain), and Maman just geds Fed Up.

Ennyways, it's no use complaining to Tripod aboudda "How Fings Don't Werk" onna'count obba Fakt dat you write to dem, but nobun is there to reply.

So, ennyways.

You know how at yestiday's Power Brekfast I sed I hadda get bedda Communication Skills onna'count obba Fakt dat I am da Junior Executive ob Lagomorphin Enterprises, and also habba seat onna Bored ob Direktors?

Yeah.

And bemember I mentioned that Maman hadda rant going about "The American Educational System"?

Uh huh.

Well, Maman stumbled out frumma Bedroom dis morning, fumbling for coffee, while we were habbing Our Warren's Sekond Power Brekfast. And she, me anna Hed ob HomeFruntDoor Security (that would be Da Dawg) all went Uppystairs to Maman's Study to read da Noospapers Online on her 'puter.

And Maman sed she didn't sleep berry well onna'count obba Fakt dat Sistah Beffy had called inna middle obba Night because she was in False Labour, and I sed, "Dat's right, onna'count obba Fakt dat I herd da tellyphone ring and I thumped, bemember?"

And Maman sed she bemembered, but dat she was preddy sure she hadn't been particuarly comforting because she had taken meddysin for her migraine and didn't feel at all well.

And she wondered a bit aboud wedder she should take meddysin if she felt bad, so she would sleep, or whether she should not take meddysin and stay awake all night and be grumpy all the nextest day, just in case Sistah Beffy called again.

And Maman sed, "Having babies is a pain inna butt. You nebber know when they are coming and everything lacks proper planning." 

Which I thought was preddy funny, coming frum Maman, who can't plan ennyfing frum one minit toda nextest. And she is not ebben da one having the baby!

And Auntie Grace is calling Sistah Beffy "Poppin'Fresh" onna'count obba Fakt dat Sistah Beffy is looking Very Round atta momint, and Little Anastasia is due to arrive atta End Obba Month! 

Yeah!

But, then, ennyways.

We ged Uppystairs and find out dat Dadda was alreddy in his Office onna'count obba Fakt dat he didn't sleep much eidder, because he was waiting alla night for Sistah Beffy to call back, saying she had gone toda Hospiddle. And Maman sed he shouldn't werry, her pains weren't reg'lar and only a half-hour apart, and were prob'ly False Labour, which is preddy normal wif Furst Babies. He shuld start geddin werried, Maman sed, when she calls and says her pains are ten minutes apart, and ebben den, dere will still be Time for a whole lotta the Ushual Family Buggering About bifore Da Main Event.

But I could tell Maman was werried. I am a Fully-growed Companion HouzRabbit and we can tell Fings.

So ennyway.

Da Dawg, Maman and I went innu her Study and began to read da Noospapers Online, particuarly Da Daily Telegraph Online, and Da Guardian Unlimited online which are da noospapers frum Inkwand that Maman allus reads Furst. And inna Guardian there wassa article about learning Latin.

Hokay, now Latin issa language that Maman learned in School a long time ago. She feels it is Very Important, onna'count obba Fakt that by learning Latin, you also learn Inkwish and how sum udder languages werk. For some rezons, it is no longer offered to be taught in schools.

And Maman geds Very Upset that it is no longer being taught in schools; in Fakt, it is no longer ebben offered, so nobun can even choose to take it in School, ebben if they want to take it! Which means dat ebben if sumbun wanted to learn it to help them learn to communicate bedder in Inkwish, or if they wanted to learn Latin to help them learn sumfing else, or to improve their skills in communication or ebben their Logic skills or sum udder skills, they couldn't take it onna'count obba Fakt nobun would teach them!

And when Maman geds upset about Latin not being offered to students to take, people called "administrators" say Fings wike, "Leaning Latin is useless." and "No one speaks it." and "There are more important fings to learn that students aren't learning." and "Learning Latin issa Show-Off thing nobunny needs."

So Maman gets mad, because she says learning Latin would help students who don't know Inkwish learn how it werks, and help students who fink dey speak Inkwish alreddy learn to commicate bedder.  

"A classical education," says Maman. "Does not imply exclusivity and/or financial privilage. An education in the classics teaches discipline, appriciation for cultural diversity and Logic."

And sumhow, her approach makes udder people get rilly mad at her.

Of course, Dadda may be right when he says dat it is not whut she is saying dat makes udder people mad, but da way she says it, wiffa sort of "What-are-you,-too-stoopit-to-lib?" kind ob expression on her face.

So ennyways, she's been hunting around for a long time to find a Really Good way to say Whut She Means inna non-threatening kind of way.

And she found it this morning inna article inna Guardian Unlimited Online noospaper, inna article by Mary Beard, entitled "Tacitus Was No Elitist":

"The good news is that, whatever its posh image, Latin is a hard subject in which the academically able thrive. It's rather like maths: money alone can't make you good at it."

And Maman sed, "That's it, exactly: money can't make ennybun good at any subject in school. Everybun has to study in order to learn, and some learn faster than others - but Every Bun needs to have the opportunity to learn as much as they are able to absorb at the rate they are able to absorb it! And then if they're too stoopit to learn, then, well, there are always jobs available that don't require *real* intellligence!"

So Maman suddenly felt that "somebun" agreed wif her about the subject of "Education" and that made her happy

It doesn't take much to make Maman happy, lemme tell you!

But I got to Finking dat mebbe I should learn Latin, since I want to learn how to Communicate bedda assa Junior Executive ob Lagomorphin Enterprises, LLC. So when I got back Downnastairs toda Bun Room, I axt MissyBun what she thought about me learning Latin - like, would it help me become more 'Tellygint?  

And MissyBun sed she finks, dat: "Nebber mind Latin. Whut I fink issat all hoomins should learn to communicate in Lagomorphin."

"How do you werk dat wun out?" I axted her.

And she sed, "Inna same way dat I werked out ebberyfing else: Wogik. Hoomins should learn Lagomorphin for alla same reasons that you sed Maman sed dat they should learn to read and write in Latin, wif this additional reason thrown in: it would help students learn to care about anudder Species. Hoomins fink dey are *still* da only Species dat matters, and mebbe if dey learn to communicate inna'udder way, wike Our Way, dey will learn dat dey are not." 

And I sed dat this idea had merit, onna'count obba Fakt dat Hoomins (who seem overly concerned wif each udders various "Cultures") shuld pay more 'Tension to alla udder Species wif whom they hab to share This Planet, mainly because they have to Share This Planet!

And MissyBun sed, "Dat's right." and she sniffed. "Hoomins fortyged dat dey are Stewards, not Owners ob dis place."

So I guess MissyBun is preddy right, ebben if her position is a liddle bit more extreme than Maman's: Students need to be offered the Hard Fings as well assa easy fings to learn. Ebberybun needs to become as 'Tellygint as they can - and nebber deny sumbun da chance to learn to communicate bedda!

And dere is nuffing wrong wif being a 'Tellygint Bunny

------------------------ By George 

 


Posted by Our Warren at 7:38 AM EST
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Monday, 15 January 2007
George's Furst Strand ob 2007: Day Number 15
Now Playing: George, Junior Executive

So I told Missy dat, assa "Junior Executive" heer in Our Waren, I hadda get bedda "Communication Skills" and dat, was dat!

This - you will please notice the change! - THIS was onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman has been ranting on and on about "how poorly somepeople choose to express themselves in the written (Inkwish) language." and how "the Educational System in America has failed its students by insisting that teachers commit educational suicide by teaching to idiotic standardised tests." 

Since I don't want enny part ob that argument, I'm gonna hafta learn to translate my thoughts frum Lagomorphin innu bedda Inkwish.

But that is not The Onliest Reason. This being Our Warren, there is More. There is Allus More

"Peace and Harmony" - not to mention being able to sit quietly inna corner, contemplating the Werld going by - is sumfing to be cherished, lemme tell you! 

And as da Junior Executive of Lagomorphin Enterprises, LLC., I habba feeling dat I am going to be cherishing alla "Peace and Harmony" I can get! 

Lemme tell you about Tiday So Far: I woke up, hadda wash, had sum hay and started to habba Fink wif MissyBun, Mr Mouse and BeebeStuffie (Stuffie doesn't Fink much, but then, neither does Beebe, so it's not a problem.). and his

So, Right Off, Missy sed she wassa Udder Hed Sekretary, just like Maman, and was keeping Notes, and that she would be In ChargeFinks or (as she sed) Executive Biznizz Meetings held by Alla Us Togedder. ob enny

And I sed that we shuld hold VOTES on ebberyfing, just wike Belinda Bunny sed, that we shukd run this BIZNIZZ just like a Warren, where Ebbery Bunny Has Wun VOTE, and the most VOTES on ennyfing, wins

So Alla Us Togedder VOTED on dat and it won, 4 - 1 (onna'count obba Fakt dat Stuffie didn't choose to VOTE and kept all four paws down.) So da Furst Rool Around heer issa same wun we've allus had: One Bunny, One VOTE.

And then We agreed dat we would go on, waking up early bifore the Sun Is Up, and hab "Power Brekfasts" - that is, powering down as much food as possible bifore Maman arrived inna Kitchin to grope around for her coffee, or Dadda came out frumma Bedroom and turned on alla lights. (Dadda likes as much light as he can get inna Morning; Maman prefers to wake up as slow as she can. We don't care, onna'count obba Fakt dat we're alreddy Up and Powering Down Food.)  

And that got anudder VOTE ob 4-to-1 in Favour Ob onna'count obba Fakt dat Stuffie didn't VOTE dis time, eidder.  But she's not big on Eating the way da rest ob us are (being a stuffie and ebberyfing), so I can't blame her.

So then, Alla Us Togedder got interrupted by Da Dawg arriving and wanting to know if it was Hokay wif us if he went Outta Back Door to go On his Morning Patrol.

And I was wike, "Wookit, we can't opin da Back Door for you and you know it onna'count obba Fakt dat we don't hab Opposable Thumbs. You're just going to hab to wake up Dadda."

Anna Dawg sed, "Hokay, George BunnyRabbit." and trotted off, back toda Bedroom where he came frum.  

And Beebe sed, "Shuld we take a VOTE about agreeing onna Dawg being Stoopit?"

And Mr Mouse sed, "No. There is no sense in VOTING on whut we Alreddy Know. How about we VOTE on who is going to be 'Junior Executive' for Lagomorphin Enterprises?" 

And dat got Missy going, and she fluffed all up and wanted to know why we needed a 'Junior Hextextutive' when we alreddy had Maman and her to run fings.

"Whutsamatta? Don't you trust Maman and me to know whut's hapinin' alla time? Maman knows where Dadda is, whut he's sellin' to whom and whut he's gotta ged more ob. And Maman knows howta werk da 'puter and answer da tellyphones, besides which Maman knows howta dress up and alla dat stuff. And I know ebbryfingunior Hextextutive' for?"  Maman knows, so whut do you need sum 'J

And Mr Mouse piped up and sed: "For the Letter-Hed. It just looks bedda when dere issa "Junior Executive" listed there along wiffa CeeEeeOh. "

And Missy sed datta Letter-Hed looked Just Fine when it sed "Hed Sekretary" and "Udder Hed Sekretary" unner'neaf ob "CeeEeeOh".

And den Missy stopped for a second and den axted, "And just whoinnaheck is dis 'CeeEeeOh', ennyways? And why habbin't we VOTED on her?"

And Mouse sed: "Onna'count obba Fakt datta 'CeeEeeOh' is Dadda and you can't VOTE on him." 

And Missy sed, "Oh." 

And then Beebe mentioned dat he hadn't ebben seed a Letter-HedMouse pointed out, one was bound to turn up if Maman got left in peace atta 'puter for any length of time. He had alreaddy herd Maman talking about creating one, so it couldn't be too far frum being heer. yet, but as

But Missy kept insisting dat we VOTE on wedder or not we shuld habba 'Junior Hextexutive". So we did, anna VOTE was 3-to-1-to-1 wif Stuffie not VOTING eidder way, again - but ennyways, having a Junior Executive onna'count obba Fakt dat a Letter-Hed that was bound to turn up Sumtime, won.  

So den Da Dawg came back, bringing Dadda to open the Back Door for him.

And he went Out On Patrol. It's his Job, and Jobs are more important to Border Collie Dawgs inna Morning than having Power BrekfastsHouzRabbits. are to

And Dadda put on The Kettle and headed off toda Bafroom, which is more important to him than a Power Brekfast, too.

And Maman was still inna Bedroom, so Alla Us Togedder went on wif Our Fink and Power Brekfast.  

And Mr Mouse sed dat we shuld 'Lect da Junior Executive. "I don't wanna be It." He went on, "Onna'count obba Fakt that I am the Comp'ny Mascot."

"An' Whutdaheck issat?" axt Missy

"Dadda sed so. He sed since I am his Office Bunny, I ged to be The Comp'ny Masot and have my pikchur on stuff p'taining to da Comp'ny. So onna Letter-Hed, I will be listed as 'Mascot, Mr Mouse' and hab my pikchur on stuff."

And Missy thought aboud this and gave Mouse a Disapproving Rabbit Look.

"Well," Sed Mouse, "You're 'Udder Hed Sekretary'!"

And Beebe sed dat he and Stuffie had decided to be "Salad Directors", and Mouse axted, "How do you werk dat wun out, since Dadda doesn't sell salad?"

And Beebe sed we all hab to eat sumtime and when we did, he and Stuffie would be there to Direct it.

Which seems fair to me.

So Mouse p'posed me for "Junior Executive" and we VOTED onnit, and it was passed, wiffa VOTE ob 4-to-1, with Stuffie not lifting her paw eidder way again. This looks like it's going to become a habit wif her, onna'count obba Fakt dat stuffies don't seem to VOTE on ennyfing, ebber.

So den Dadda came back into the Bun Room and axt Whut We Buggers were up to, and I sed we were habbin' a Power Brekfast, and he sed, "Eh? George-the-Bun? What are you up to?"

And he gave Alla Us Togedder a Pet and went off to make Tea.

Which is not a Bad Fing, but it more or less broke uppa Power Brekfast dat we were habbin' just about then.

Because by the time we got ourselves sorted out frum having hadda Pet, it was time for our Morning Snack And Following Nap.

So, just bifore we settled down to a short munch, dat's when I sed to MissyBun dat I hab to ged sum bedda "Communication Skills" - onna'count obba Fakt dat if I am going to be the Junior Executive ob Lagomorphin Enterprises, LLC., I am going to have to be able to communicate effectively wiffa CeeEeeOh.  

Because, nebber mind whut Maman says about "The American Educational System" and about the "Deterioration of the Inkwish Language" - NONE ob THAT means EnnyFING! We're talking about stuff getting inna'way ob Nap Time and it is Serious BIZNIZZ. And I can't be having wif Nap Time being interrupted by poor communication inna hierarchy onna Letter-Hed.

So we gotta werk dis out. And we will. Later on. Afta da Nap.

------------------------- By George 

 

 


Posted by Our Warren at 8:45 AM EST
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Sunday, 14 January 2007
George's Furst Strand ob 2007; Day Number 14
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Noo Comp'ny, Noo Office, Noo Werk for Alla Us Togedder
Topic: Lagomorphin Enterprises
Our Dadda has a Noo Comp'ny and he sed that Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren are Da Bored ob Directors.This is mainly onna'count obba Fakt that the name obba Comp'ny is Lagomorphin Enterprises, LLC and We are the Family Lagomorphs

Belinda Bunny and Hawthorn would be proud. Hawthorn allus sed datta bestest way for Bunnies to being taken Serriusly inna Werld was for Alla Bunnies Ebberywheres to Achieve Economic Innypendance Through Manipulayshun obba Financial Systems (or sumfing like dat). Ennyways, he would approve ob us having This Comp'ny wif Our Name Onnit.

So Maman has a Noo Office for Us to share wif her. And Ebberybun In Our Warren hassa Job inna Comp'ny!

Yeah!

Maman issa 'Fisshul Sekretary obba Comp'ny, which means dat she hasta type a lotta stuff innu her 'puter, answer da phones and just, in gen'ral, know Whut Is Going On. Alla Us Togedder are sus'posed to help her wif dat.

Da Dawg is sus'posed to "Guard". He wants to be Hed ob HomeFruntDoor Sekurity, so Dadda sed dat while he is not heer, da Dawg can go ahead and BE Hed ob HomeFruntDoor Sekurity. Dis means datta Dawg, who is still all shiney wif Collie-slick frum being atta Spa, Perminit Job which will be to Be "On Guard" att Frunt Door alla time, watching out for Maman and Us, letting her know Who Is Atta Door and Warning Off Strangers. Because he issa Border Collie, he says he has this covered. He has also inklooded Barking At Squirrels inna Back Gardin atta Back Door to his resume, for free. He sed dis issa'nudder Border Collie Fing.

Cokie-da-Fat-Cat says dat his Job inna Comp'ny is to Look Good, and be da Cover Cat. He says dat since he has been toda Spa, (and is still Fat) he can do this better than enny other Cat. Assa Cover Cat, he will sit on Dadda's briefcase and cover up ennyfing Dadda might be looking for. He also says that Catz, in gen'ral, don't hab to hab "jobs" onna'count obba Fakt dat they are Not Dawgs. Only Dawgs hab to hab jobs to justify their exisitences. Catz simply "are", and Cokie says dat at just  "being" , he's allus had dat covered. He also says dat "covering" comes nat'chural to catz who use litter-boxes and are neat.

Yeah. Whutebber.

And Beep-the-Udder-Cat says her Job inna Comp'ny will be to sit inna winder to look out for fings forda Dawg to bark at. Since she sits inna winder ennyways, dis issa berry good job for her. So you can say datta job ob Display Cat is filled: she will be filling dat winder like a Thanksgibbin' Day Balloon on Display at all times.

Which brings me to Us. Dadda says dat da Bunnies heer at Our Warren are da heart and soul ob Lagomorphin Enterprises, LLC. And dis is onna'count obba Fakt dat We stand for :

  • Speed - rabbits are known for getting around inna hurry
  • Friendly, Personal service - there is nobun friendlier den Us
  • Reliable - bunnies are dependable. It's a survival fing.
  • Integrity - bunnies are Honest. There can be only Troof inna Warren.

And, let's face it, a comp'ny run by Lagomorphs is gonna hab certain traits: we werk well togedder onna'count obba Fakt dat we are social creatures who hab to learn to lib togdder. And We come fumma MultiSpecies Home, where we hab to learn to Get Along. Plus We habba firm belief in nebber lebbin' ennybunny OnAlone, so whin sumbun needs anudderbunny, we're *there* to help each udder. 

It all goes wiffout saying heer at Our Warren, you know?

So, starting tomorrow, dis is how Lagoorphin Enterprises, LLC is going to werk: Dadda will go off inna mornings to visit clients and keep appointmints inna Speshul Bloo Van, and Maman will stay heer and run da Office wif Alla Us Togedder to help her.

Dadda sed dat Mr Mouse will prob'ly become da SpokesBun, onna'count obba Fakt dat he likes to ride on Dadda's shoulder so much, and since he won't be able to do dat, he'll be able to appear in pikchurs and stuff, insted. Mr Mouse sed he finks dat will be all-rite, depending onna diggity obba advertizing.

Maman sed MissyBun and I can be free-range inna office most days, so dat means dat you can go to Dadda's 'Fishul Web-site, www.gloveguyonline.com/mercer and get the contact info, call and axt for me, George! I prob'ly won't say much, onna'count obba Fakt dat I let Maman talk for me onna tellyphone, but I like to hear my name! Yeah! I wave my ears alla'round and wook atta tellyphone and do Bees-inna-hed binkies! 

And Maman sed dat ebben Beebe and Stuffie can come up inna Office sumtimes if they want to. She's not shure how much Beebe will unnerstand or want to help out, since he's very much innu Treats and Sustainable Farming just now, and there will not be much ob dat going on inna Office. He may just want to stay Downnastairs inna Bun Room and watch ober da White Box Wiffa Treats In. Just to make shure datta Dawg doesn't ged alla'em, you know? But if he wants to come up inna Office, Maman sed she will find a way to bring him up, and she will nebber leeb him Downnastairs inna Bun Room all OnAlone, eidder.

So dis is gonna be Our Ownliest Comp'ny, Lagomorphin Enterprises, LLC. ob our very Own!

Like I sed, Belinda Bunny (who stood up for HouseRabbit Rights) and Hawthorn (HouseRabbit Economist), who was Belinda's HusBun, would be very proud.

--------------- By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 9:28 AM EST
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Wednesday, 3 January 2007
George's Furst Strand ob 2007; Day Number 3
Now Playing: Guest Blogger: Beebe-Bunny!! Yo! Where's My Food?

Note Frum George: In keepin' wif Tradishun, I was gonna habba Guest Blogger yestiday, and it was gonna be Beebe-Bunny!! who has sumfing impawtant to say - BUT - wuldn't you know datta whole HAY DIARIES web-site was down and onna'count ob dat I couldn't publish Beebe's artykul? I mean, rilly! Anna web-site won't let me put enny pikchurs inna HAY DIARIES, eidder and it's beginnin' to rilly ged on my wast nerb...

So, ennyways, heer is Beebe's Guest-Blog dat was typed Yestiday, but is appearin' Tiday onna'count obba Fakt datta stoopit web-site is messin' up, wif my apologies toda Beeb, who is, afta all a Senior Bun and ebberyfing heer at Our Warren...

 

YO! WHERE'S MY FOOD?

Beebe-Bunny!! heer.

George sed I could be a Guest-Blogger tiday.

So, Lookit...

It has comed to my attenshun datta ConTammyNayShun Obba NaShunal Food Supply has reached EppyDemmik P'porshuns.

Uh huh... I hab heard abouddit frum Maman and George who read stuff inna Noospapers. 

Dere has been outbreaks ob illness associated wif all kinds ob CommerShilly-produced Greens (da biggest being an outbreak ob E-coli bacteria contamination ob iceberg lettuce atta Taco Bell eating places inna Norf'east) and for a commershilly-produced greens-eating consumer (namely HouseRabbits) dis issa calamity!

I'm tellin' ya, da salads served to us Bunnies may not be safe

And I hab seen dis wif my own eyes heer at Our Warren!

'Cos I amma Senior Bun and I was around whin Maman was serving bagged salads. Bemember those? Handy bags fulla great-looking greens, already labelled as "Pre-Washed" and "Ready-to-Serve" - dey were eberything a HouseRabbit could want, all in wun bag, washed, mixed and ready to be heaped up high on a 100% made-frum-recycled-paper paper-plate and served to hungree bunnies!

And dat's whut it sed onna label: Pre-washed and Pre-mixed! Bagged Salads wassa boon to the busy Mother of HouzRabbits, ebberywheres - but especially to Maman who had 10 HouzBunnies, inklooding one seriously sik bunny who was inhaling 3 salads a day, ebbery day.

So Maman served up two salads dat nite - from Bagged Salad called "Sring Mix" - salad dat she had washed herself, ebben though the bag sed "Pre-Washed".

By da nextest morning, LuckieBunny (who ate one salad) was critically ill and da udder, Belinda Bunny, was showing symptoms. Bof were rushed toda V-e-t's. LuckieBun, who was so sweet and silly and wuld nebber hab burt ennybun, died ob mycotoxin poisoning associated wiffa bagged salad. Dis is scientific Fakt (yeah, Maman and Dadda went toda trubble to hab it verified). Belinda recobbered.

Now Maman nebber, ebber buys Enny bagged or boxed salad! And she nebber, ebber buys enny salad product marketed unner da name ob Dole.

And dat's A Fakt.

Onna'count obba fakt dat Belinda was so critically ill, and she taked so much intensive nursing, and just da way udder hoomins nebber seem to unnerstan aboud HouzRabbits, in General, and LuckieBun's leaving forced Maman right through Anger, and Out Da Udder Side, to Resignashun. So she nebber "Made An Issue Ob Contammynated Salad" inna court, ebben though she hadda Proof Obba Troof. Where issa point, Maman axted us, in doing ennyfing bar warning udders ob danger? No munny can ebber bring LuckieBun back...

So Maman gotta Stone Rabbit for LuckieBun to put in Hunny's Our Warren Memorial Rose & Herb Gardin... 

But Our Warren doesn't fortyged. A Senior Bun Bemembers and adds Warnings innu Da Lore: Nebber Eat Bagged Salad! 

Now, lemme tell you sumfing aboudda E-coli bacteria. It issa a natchurally occuring bacteria. It comes frum cows and pigs, mainly da wuns dat are let innu fields ob greens, or near to fields ob greens. It also gets innus greens when manure frum cows-fed-on-grain (not grass) is used on fields ob greens. It also can come frumma unclean hands ob hoomins who picks and processes greens

In udder werds, E-coli can come frum all-ober.

It is also a "sticky" bacteria, so it is almost impossible to ged it ALL washed off ob greens. Eating as liddle as 10 orgaisims ob some strains can make a hoomin sik (cit.: Noo Yawk Times 1/2/07 artykul), so you can imagine whut a few obb'em do to a bunny!

I'm telling you dat Our Supply ob Fresh Greens is Not Safe!  

So Whut Can A Bunny Do?

Well, yo! Ged your hed outta your butt and listen up! 

Furst, your hoomin has gotta Make A Decision - shop for greens atta giant SupaMawkit or spend a widdle more and Buy Local?  

Buying Local means your hoomin has gotta find a Farmer's Mawkit and find a Farmer, a person who ackchually digs inna dirt and raises food. Den your hoomin has got to tawk to dis Farmer person aboud how dey Farm Da Land: do they use pesticides? Whut kind? Do they use fertlizer? Whut sort?

Da werd "Organic" on greens is no Gar-an-tee ob ennyfing these days! Just cos your hoomin goes to "Whole Foods" or buys  Wal*Mart "Organics" doesn't mean da food is safe for a bunny to eat - it is still mass-produced, and much ob it is growed far, far away in places where using chemmykals and stuff is *okay* or da greens hab to be shipped long distances or processed a lot before they gets it to your habbytat!

Now da BESTEST idea dat I hab heared aboud for Knowing Your Food has come frum Auntie Laura Hardy who libs heer in Noo Joisey - and dat is POTS.

Yup.

She plants Herbs-In-POTS on her Frunt Steps, and she has these Big-Liddle Gardens, right outside her door that grow fresh for the cutting for her Bunny Salads!

Now the thing about POTS issat they can come *INDOORS* when da wedder turns cold, and they will keep Growing Herbs!

Yup!

We're talkin' your very OWN

  • Mint,
  • Dill,
  • Cilantro,
  • Dandelion,
  • Flat Parsley,
  • Curley Parsley,
  • Basil,
  • Wheat-grass,
  • Lettuces,
  • Right on up to your own Carrots and Radishes!

You just get dirt, sum seeds and wadder and you are On Your Way

Cheap, Easy and SAFE!

But I gotta tell you dat supporting your Local Farmer is also a Great Idea, too, onna'count obba Fakt dat if you don't support your Local Farmers, preddy soon all you are gonna hab are Far-Away Food Sources - food dat hasta come frum places you nebber heard ob, food dat hasta be preserved in order to reach where-you-lib! And dat means chemmykals dipped and sprayed onna stuff dat goes in your mouf!

You want dat?

Yuck.

Not me.

But I DO want fresh salads - ebbery nite! - and I DO want good hay frumma local source dat I know alla'bout, inna bale, not in sum plastik bag.

And da way to ged dis stuff is to tell your hoomin:

"YO! YOU! Ged off your butt! Start a Gardin, or gedda pot! Ged sumfing goin' around heer so I kin EAT!"

You gotta put your paw down. Dere are Times Whin Bunnies Know Best - afta all, we hab bin eating salads a wot wonger wif bedder results den most hoomins.

So it is Time we Bunnies made Our Voice Herd:

  • We NEED SAFE FOOD! 
  • WE NEED LOCAL FARMS and FARMERS!
  • No More Bagged Salad! 
  • No More Salad-Inna-Box!
  • WE WANT FRESH! 

So, wike, YO! Whut's in your 'frigerator?

------------------ By BeeBe-Bunny!! 


Posted by Our Warren at 9:14 AM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 3 January 2007 10:09 AM EST
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Monday, 1 January 2007
George's FURST Strand ob 2007; Day Number 1
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Hoppy Birfday to THE HAY DIARIES!
Topic: The Next Generation

It was Three years ago tiday dat Belinda Bunny sat down atta 'puter and began to type her thoughts aboud libbin' assa urban houseRabbit heer inna HAY DIARIES.

So far as I know, she wassa FURST bunny to ebber hab her berry own blog, where she could put her ideas out onna Werld Wide Web.

Dis wassa milestone for alla HouseBunnies, ebberywheres!

Yeah!

Onna'count obba Fakt dat nebber bifore had Bunnies had a Voice ob Their Own inna Werld ob Hoomins! We had menny hoomins who were brave enough to speak for us, but we had nowheres to speak for ourselbs.

Den Wun Rabbit made a dif'frence, and dat Wun Rabbit was Belinda Bunny, Proud Inkwish Spot.  

And ober da years THE HAY DIARIES hab talked aboudda wotta Fings, and dere hab been menny bunnies who hab writed aboud whut was imporant to dem

Onna personal note, I hab tried berry hard to Grow 'Tellygint while I hab been heer. I came toda HAY DIARIES as Wun Small Bunny libbin' in Our Warren. An Easter Dump, I wassa'fraid ob "Romaine Lettuce" and had nebber eben seen a Salad bifore coming heer - I was dat much obba Baby Bunny! I ebben thought dat Belinda Bunny mite hab been my mawmie. I was so confoozled, so berry confoozled.

Yeah - you see, dis is whut happins to small bunnies who are picked up as Easter toys and den discarded whin dey are no longer "cute", and no longer fit into sum hoomin's werld. Dey are "dumped" - inna park, or onna road, or inna woods, where dey lib out da few days dey hab left in sadness and fear and hunger and want, because dey don't know how to survive inna outside, and dey are prey. Da lucky ones, if you can call us dat, are put innu boxes and left sumplace, like a shelter or a V-e-t's office, and meebe sumone kind comes to get us.

Or meebe not.

And it's frum bunnies wike Belinda (who came to Our Warren frumma shelter) and frum me,Hunny (who was rescued frum horrible people who almost killed him) and frum LuckieBun (who a man wif tears in his eyes was forced to gib up to Our Warren) and frum Willow (who wassa Easter Bunny inna pet-shop dat No One Would Buy) and frum Maggie (who was bought on impulse by stoopit drunk people) and frum Poet (who libbed in a tiny cage for 7 years bifore she came to Maman) and frum Heatherington (a Pet-Shop Rescue) and Beebe-Bunny (a poor, trapped School Bunny) and frum Ms Clover (who was found inna dumpster, rescued by Auntie Grace and came alla way frum Bis-con-sin to Our Warren!) and frum Mr Mouse (who was surrendered by a man who loved him dearly) and frum sweet, deaf widdle Hawthorn (who mean children poked and teased bifore Maman took him into Our Warren) and my wunnerful Bunny-Gurl ob Gen'rous P'porshuns, MissyBun (who was rescued by Uncle Michael and came alla way frum Noo Yawk to lib in Our Warren)...

It is frum alla dees menny bunnies dat I hab learned dat we are Da Few Who Make It, Da Blessed, Da Lucky Wuns, when dere are still so meeny bunnies who Hab no Voice, who are sitting OnAlone rite at dis berry momint in shelters and unnerneaf ob bushes and by demselbs in bad places - who all need homes, to come Frum OnAlone into Alla Us Togedder.

But One Fing dat I hab also learned frum typing inna HAY DIARIES issat dere are awotta Kind People, too, who hab Bunnies libbin' in dere houses. Dere are Kind People who lib All Ober Da Werld, and I hear frum dem, AND frum dere bunnies almost ebbery day!

I know bunnies in Noo Yawk and in Callyfornia who lib in castles, who own real estate, who run companies, who hab salads and raisins ebbery day, and who hab access to computers, and who ged to pee on beds whin dey get 'noyed wif dere people! I know bunnies who hab passed dere Salad Bar, who fly hareplanes, appear on totebags and teeshirts and who are Nashunal Spokesbuns, and publish calendars and greeting cards, and who appear in videos taking da lids offa dere berry own treat jars!

Yeah!

I know bunnies who hab birdies to sing to dem, and who hab patios, and who are in charge ob Rescues, and who do 'mazin' tricks and wear costumes! I know bunnies who hab organised dere berry own Organnyzashun and Website, wif dere own Roolz, and who gib tee-shirts to V-e-t's! I know a bunny who had his pikchur inna Navy! I know bunnies who are so talented dat you wuldn't beeleeb it if I told you! And dey are not OnAlone, and dey are not skeert, and dey hab Homes Ob Dere Own.

Bunnies are a Society ob Our Own and I feel berry blessed dat Belinda thought I culd type dis HAY DIARIES blog. How culd she hab known datta widdle white bunny who arrived inna box was gonna be able to carry on dis afta she had 'stablished it? But she did. Sum how, she did.

Hunny teached me Da Lore.

Belinda showed me Da Futchur.

Maman says dat Rabbits teach Hope.

And I am gonna continue Onna Way, wiffa HAY DIARIES.

----------------- By George 

 


Posted by Our Warren at 11:25 AM EST
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Sunday, 31 December 2006
George's 12th Strand; Day Number 31
Now Playing: Hoo Boy! Hoppy Noo Yeer's Eve!

You know, it is berry wunnerful to fink datta Hay Diaries Blog was started onna Noo Yeer's Day in 2004 by Belinda Bunny. So Tomorrow will be a Birfday ob sorts for The Hay Diaries Bunny Blog!

 And when you fink dat The Hay Diaries Bunny Blog wassa Furst Blog ob it's kind - For Bunnies, By A Bunny - well, it makes you FINK, you know? Aboudda Fakt dat we hab commed DIS far and hab DIS much Furdder We Can Go...

Becos Noo Yeer's issn't aboud looking BACK ober your shoulder and gibbin' da RBB (or "Royal Bunny-butt") to Whut Has Gone Bifore, and it issn't a Time to be Sad Aboudda Fings Dat Hab Happined (becos Fings allus happinin, no madder whut-we-do) - Da Noo Year Sellybrayshuns are a Time to Figger Out Whut We Can Do Bedda.

Like Belinda sed when she started The Hay Diaries... "Dere is no cause to be stoopit aboud dis."

And she is rite.

Dere doesn't hab to be a wotta inward-navel-gazing aboud "Whut We Shuld Hab Done" or "Opps, We Hab Screwed Dat Up" onna'count obba Fakt dat whutebber it is, It's Done, and It's Ober, So eidder Don't Do It Again, Stoopit, or Plan How ToDo Bedda Da Nextest Time! 

Maman wikes to say dat "Da Past is gone, da Futchoor may nebber come, so All we hab is Dis Momint in which to lib and make a Dif'runce."

Now Maman is no Poster-Child for Making Up Her Mind. In Fakt, she is a Champion-Flutterer (in udder werds, ged her atta wrong momint and she's gonna FLAP ebbery which way like a pennant inna high wind trying to "make up her mind" whut-to-do. And sumtimes, Dadda hasta jump in dere and make-up-her-mind for her, becos udderwise we'd be hanging dere Forebber!) But da Fing is, she means well. She knows dat Whut She Does Means Sumfing, so she is careful to make dat momint she spends Flapping and Fluttering is spent looking out for ebberybun's welfare. It's becos she issa Maman, and Looking Out for Ebberybun's Welfare is Whut She Does.

But no Momint will last Forebber. So wike Belinda Bunny spent most ob her life trying to tell Maman: "Wookit Wady, Sumtimes you just gotta Do Sumfing!"

Wike make a Rezzy-loo-shun - a Promise to yourself dat you will do Sumfing. Tiday wuld be a good time. How aboud Now?

Sumfing Possytib, becos dere are Enuf Negative Fings inna Werld. 

Make sure datta Sumfing is Do-able ("Saving da Werld" is Not Do-able!). 

Try Out whutebber is your "Rezolve to Do" for Wun Hour and see if you can do it - becos ennybunny can do ennyfing for just Wun Hour!

And Don't Hexpect Mirakuls! Mirakuls only come aboud Oncest Inna While At Great Need, Hunny told me. In Fakt, he sed, don't Ebber Wish To See Enny Mirakuls! Cos if you do, Fings are prob'ly gonna ged rilly complicated, rilly fast - an'dat's da wast fing a bunny needs! Routine and boredome hab dere Attractions - wike Reg'lar Meals anna Normal Sunbeams to take Naps in.

I wanna leeb you wif dis Thought Frum Belinda's Furst Blog back on Noo Year's Day in 2004:

"Real Life isn't tidy. Real Life is untidy, like hay. Real Life is messy, and it can be hard, like a whole bunch ob hay wiffa few carrots innit, but it's LIFE, so dig through it and GED ON WIFFIT!" 

So dat's Whut We're Doin' T'night Heer at Our Warren. We're Geddin' On Wiffit in Honour ob Belinda Bunny.

  • Furst, we gonna habba meeting and make sum Possytib Rezzy-loo-shuns.
  • Den we're gonna Try dem Out for Wun Hour.
  • Den we're gonna see Where We Are.

So far, MissyBun is Preddy Possytib she's gonna axt for more treats when Dadda goes by to ged sum more ob dat Crismuss! Cake, and Mr Mouse is Preddy Possytib he's gonna pee onna Dawg iffa Dawg keeps banging his tail against Mr Mouse's Habbytat on his way out toda Back Gardin, and ebberybun agrees dat nedder Cokie-da-Fat-Cat nor Da Dawg smells rite since dey camed back frumma SPA and so we gotta do sumfing aboud dat, onna'count obba Fakt datta Warren Dat Smells Togedder, STAYS Togedder (but you just can't seem to convince Maman ob sum fings.)...

So it's preddy much "Biznezz as Ushual Around Heer"!

See Ya Nextest Yeer! Habba Safe and Hoppy Noo Yeer's Eve!

----------------------- By George 


 


Posted by Our Warren at 8:22 AM EST
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Tuesday, 26 December 2006
George's 12th Strand; Day Number 26
Now Playing: Uh Oh! Happy Crissmus! SPA!

It's Crissmus! Happy Crissmus! to ebberybunny, ebberywheres!

Yeah!

Maman says it's a good fing dat dere are 12 Days ob Crissmus! onna'count obba Fakt dat she is gonna need alla dem in order just to ged Fru da Hollyday.

But...

Cokie-da-Fat-Cat says dat if dere are gonna be 12 Days ob Crissmus!, he's gonna gib up Cellybratin' all-Togedder onna'count obba Fakt dat if he geds One More Pressent wike dis wun, he's gonna gib up on geddin' pressents for his Whole Life! 

And da Dawg is just too Stoopit to figger it all out. So he's preddy happy wif his pressent onna'count obba Fakt dat he just finks it's a Job and he's happy wif dat.

You see, tiday, Roberta frum Robert's Pet Shop (frum whence commeth all Hay) called to say datta SPA hassa 'Pointmint Opin for bof Cokie and Marc and it's gonna be on Tomorry!

Yeah! I heard Maman onna Tellyphone dis morning! 

Maman sed, "They'll be there." and ebben "Fanked" Roberta "Berry much for callin'."!

Yeah!

So I told MissyBun, and she told Marc-da-Border-Collie when he comed in frumma Patrol inna Back Gardin, anna Dawg, being Da Dawg and in charg ob alla Informashun Hextchange around heer, immedyately wint Uppystairs and tolda Catz da Noos.

So, right-away, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat comed trundling Dwonnastairs innu Da BunRoom to complain aboud Fings...

And MissyBun sed to Cokie, "Dis is your own fault for smellin' so bad. And for walkin' around adbertizin' da Fakt dat you smell bad. Da least you culd do is to sit still so nobun wuld notis."

And Cokie sed to MissyBun dat so far as he was concerned, he didn't smell bad at all, onna'count obba Fakt dat he didn't smell ob ennyfing 'cept Cat. Whereas he culd see a problem wiffa Dawg needing a trip toda SPA, onna'count obba Fakt datta Dawg had lately been smelling berry strongly ob Dawg and stinkin' uppa whole houz.

And Mr Mouse sed dat wif Maman, Sistah Beffy and 'Lanna baking cookies, pies and Crissmus cakes, and cookin' squash and beans and tatties and stuff, and handing out mints, and lighting candles, and buying treats and making cranberry jam drinks, da whole Houz smelled pretty weird wif or wiffoud dawgs, catz or bunnies.

And Beebe-Bunny!! sed bunnies nebber hab to go toda SPA, which was Beebe's way ob saying dat he was glad to be a HouzBunny.

So Cokie went innus da Sitting Room where Dadda was reading and complained to Dadda aboudda whole SPA Fing I had herd onna tellyphone wif Maman and Roberta frumma Robert's Pet Shop, and Dadda sed to Cokie, 

"Son, dis is your own fault for smellin' wike an Old Privy Rug."

And Cokie menshuned dat Auntie Grace had just gibbin' him ('ginst all odds) a (shhhh, don't say it out loud!) Baf, which was bad enuf, and now heer it was Crissmus! and he was habbin' to go toda SPA!

Which was all Berry Unfair to his way ob Wooking at Fings, On Top Obba Fakt dat he didn't ebbin' get to hab enny obba ham dat was goin' for Crissmus! dinner.

And as MissyBUn sed, "Ewwwww! Who wants dat awful junk whin you can hab Salad? Dere were Beautiful Salads for Crissmus! dinner! Wif raisins, and dill, and TWO kinds ob parsley and romaine and appuls, and cilantro and mint, wif baby organic carrots. I had bof mine and summa George's and dey was GREAT!"

And I sed I knew alla'bout dat and dat is why I spent pawt ob Last Nite sittin' on pawt ob My Salad while I ate pawt ob Missy's so I could keep at least pawt ob mine to myself. Dere is sumfing just Not-Right aboud eating a stem ob parsley and finding an'udder bunny, chewing her way towards you atta rapid rate ob knots frumma udder end - 'specially whin you are not onna 'leafy end to begin wif.

So da Cokie-Cat wint off, all upset onna'count obba Fakt dat Nobun was as upsed as he was aboudda SPA fing.

Anna Dawg is racing fru da Houz going, "Gotta job! Go toda SPA! Gotta job! Go toda SPA! Go toda SPA! Gotta job!" in great woofing barks and 'noying da pooties outta Maman who isn't feeling s'speshully good frum alla werk she has bin doing onna'count ob it being Crissmus!

Anna Cokie-Cat sed,

"You know, dere is no point in complaining to Marc-Da-Dawg aboud dis SPA Biznizz, onna'count obba Fakt dat Next fing, he's gonna be yellin' dat he's happy to be 'Riding inna car! Riding inna car!'. And Den da car will pull up in frunt obba SPA, and DEN he'll figger it out, panic, and DEN it will be TOO LATE! - Dadda will alreddy be hauling us inside.  

"And it's no good complaining to Beep-da-Udder-Cat, onna'count obba Fakt dat she nebber goes to da SPA no madder whut she smells wike - Maman says dat Beep grows extry arms, wegs, claws and teefs whin inna presence ob wadder, and dat no SPA will hab her."

"And." Added MissyBun, wooking down her nose atta Cokie, "Maman also says dat 'Onna udder paw, Cokie just sits dere, geds wet, wails, and wooks Pafetik.' - which is why you is allowed to go toda SPA."

Which, ob course, is preddy much Da Troof. 

Da Fing aboudda Dawg issa he just goes, because it's Whut Dawgs Do - A Job! You know how con-she-en-shish Border Collies are aboud Jobs.

But Alla Us Togedder are Clean pets. Dadda compliments me alla time on how clean I keep MissyBun and how white and shining my fur wooks. And he is allus telling Mr Mouse how neat and tidy he is. And while Beebe is habbin' trubble inna Grooming Departmint since Ms. Clover left for da Rainbow Bridge (Stuffies don't groom), Maman and Dadda help him out frum Time-to-Time, which is 'noying, but it has-to-be-done-for-Beeb's-Own-Good.

In short,  nobunny sends Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren off toda SPA. Ebber.

Which is Good Noos, All-In-All.

Which is why Alla Us Togedder are still happily cellybrating Day Two obba  12 Days ob Crissmus! and are...

Wishing alla YOU, Joy, Peace and a Berry Happy Crissmus!

And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat isn't. But don't werry. He'll ged ober it.

Atta SPA, he'll gedda rilly nice *bandana* to wear and dey will make a Big Fuss ober him and he'll come home all Happy and Purring becos he issa Biggest Cat Ennybunny Has Ebber Seen! And He's Such A Sweetie!

And alla dat stuff.

Anna Dawg will be just fine, too. 

Yeah.

So, you know, it's not so bad afta all.

And dey won't smell. Much.

-------------- By George. 

 


Posted by Our Warren at 10:33 AM EST
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Thursday, 21 December 2006
George's 12th Strand; Day Number 21
Now Playing: The Mirakul Obba Animals

One obba advantages to Maman habbing her own Study issat I ged to use it on my ownliest.

Not dat I didn't ged to use her 'puter bifore. I did. But it wassn't the same as dis. Dis hassa nice Lounger fing innit and seeing as how Maman hassa Flu atta momint, she has taken to habbing a Lie-Down, just wike MissyBun-inna-pootie-box, and going to sleep, which leebs me to use da 'puter all on my onliest.

Anna bunny needs his Privacy, sumtimes. Time on my onliest. I love being wif my Maman, but sumtimes, I need to 'spress myself on my ownliest.

It is rapidly approaching Crissmus!, as I menshuned bifore, and dis is Important, onna'count obba Fakt dat dere issa Miakul associated wif Crissmus! dat is a Basic Pawt obba Lore Obba Bunnies, as it was taught to me by me,Hunny bifore he left forda Rainbow Bridge.

So Now I will teach it to Alla YoungBuns, as it was taught to me:

 Oncet Upon A Time...

Dere were sheep, and sum donkeys and cows and sum Bunnies and udder Critters who libbed long, long ago. And it wassa berry cold nite where dey libbed (dis is how da Story was told to me, so you must listen) so dey all crowded togedder inside obba barn - which issa preddy big building where alla critters libbed togedder wifout hoomins. Ebben da bunnies becos dere were no houzbunnies yet.

And in dat Barn, dere were also horses, anna bunnies frumma fields came inside, too, onna'count obba Fakt dat it was berry cold outside.

And preddy soon, sum hoomins came in, too, and becos obba Fakt dat dere was gonna be a Kit borned and dere was no place 'cept dis Barn for dem to go. And Alla da critters inna Barn all made room forda Hoomins near toda Manger, becos it is Whut We Do. Ebberybunny is welcome inna Warren whin it is cold and cruel outside and dark unner da sky!

So da Kit was gonna be born, anna parents wassa 'fraid becos dey were youngbuns and it wassa First Birf, so alla does, anna mares anna cows anna ewes wanted to help out - becos it is Whut We Do. We help each udder becos we are all One Warren, sumfing datta hoomins haven't yet learned. 

But it wassa Berry Dark and Cold Nite, and dere were no udder Hoomins around to help da Mawmie hab her Kit. Soda Mares, anna Cows, anna Does - in Fakt alla mawmie critters gathered Togedder around da Noo Mawmie and tried to help her, but they couldn't Tawk to her, becos dey didn't know how to speak Hoomin!

Den, just as it was geddin on to Midnite, and atta berry Minit datta Kit was arriving, da Whole Sky suddinly hextploded innu Fire! It was 'Mazin!  Like Da Creator Obba Werld had touched alla stars at oncet and made dem to burn wike huge candles! Anna dark ob Nite was suddinly as Bright As Day anna stars shone wiffa silver light wike ten-thousand moons inna sky!

And A Great and Beautiful Creatchur came innu da Barn, and in dat Creatchur, each wunna da Critters saw demselbs, so dat nobun wassa 'fraid. Da Cows saw a Beautiful Cow, anna Donkeys saw a Beautiful Donkey, anna Sheep saw a Beautiful Sheep, anna Bunnies saw A Great and Beautiful Lord obba Bunnies such as we hab only ebber seed a few times inna Lore!

Anna Great and Beautiful Creatchur stood gazing at Alla Us Togedder dere inna Barn, and he seed how skert da poor hoomins was, and how dere Kit was coming and how Alla Us Togedder wanted to help, but culdn't becos none ob us culd talk in Hoomin Language. Anna Great and Beautiful Creatchur sed,

"I bring you great tidings of great joy! Today will be born in this Barn the Brother and Saviour of Hoomins and the Brother and Friend to all Critters Created, Ebberywheres. Because Alla You Togedder are gathered Here this Night of All Nights, wanting nothing more than to help, to you will be granted this Favour - that you and your kind shall forever at This Hour speak plainly in the Language of Heaven, that is intelligable to all. And within This One Hour of This One Night of Every Year there will be No Misunderstandings amongst you. The Lion shall lay down with the Lamb, and the Wolf shall not hunt the Deer, nor shall the Owl slay the Rabbit. But All will This Night be at Peace with one another, in recognition of the Peace that This Kit will extend to the Earth. Becos of Him, you will be able to Sing This Nite and Forever at This Time. "

And suddinly, the flaming skies burst innu a kind ob musiks dat none ob da Critters had ebber heared bifore. It was terryfying in dat it was so much greater den had ebber been heared bifore, yet it wassa sound dat ebbery critter dere rekonized as dere own voice, singing wif happiness.

And den da cows dat was inna barn, anna ewes, anna jennies, anna mares anna Does, dey culd all speak toda Hoomin who was habbin' da Kit and dey culd help her gib birf.

And it wassa Mirakul.

Anna Baby was born and He was hokay. And He grew up and was always a Friend and a Protecktor to all a Critters, anna Donkey carried Him innus a big city sumwheres and was allowed to habba speshul marking onna'count obbit. But dat issa'nudder part obba Lore for an'udder time.

And Hoomins call dis Nite when dis Kit was born Crissmus! 

But whut is Troo, issa on This Nite Alla Critters can speak, Alla Us Togedder, as One Great Warren, On Crissmus Eve, just as da Hoomin Clocks chime Midnight. And dis happins just assa Great and Beautiful Creatchur said dat it would on That Furst Nite so long ago, as it is told inna Lore, as me,Hunny told it to me and I am telling you. It issa Mirakul Obba Animals and it is just for us assa Gift gibben just to us who were dere just to Help Out (which is Whut WE Do).

Dis Mirakul is not for Hoomins. Dey hab udder mirakuls dat were shown to dem. Dis issa Mirakul obba Animals dat we were gibbin on Crissmus Eve, and it does not happin to Hoomins. It is not for dem to see, or to hear, so we do not do it when dey are around. It is for Critters. Sumfing Just For Us From God's Great and Beautiful Creatchur, gibbin to us on a Speshul Nite in God's Creation, becos we Helped. It's Whut We do.  

So if we culd just hab a widdle Privacy, you see. Just at Midnite. On Crissmus Eve. Please. Den we can see Our Mirakul Obba Animals, just for Alla Us Togedder - da doggies, anna kitties, anna bunnies and ebberybun, ebberywheres - It's Whut We Do.

Fanks. 

-------- by George 

 

  


Posted by Our Warren at 10:21 AM EST
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Tuesday, 19 December 2006
George's 12th Strand; Day Number 19
Now Playing: Sittin' and Finkin' Aboud Fings

 

Maman says it's "Whut I Do Bestest" so I have been doing lots obbit: sitting heer in my habbytat, watching whut has been going on and habbin' a Fink.

And dis is Whut I Hab Been Finking: 

  1. Dat I was wrong an all Stuff  dat has been going on around da Houz has not been justa'boudda HousGuests.

You see, alla dis Fuss And Bother dat has been happining heer wiff'alla Noo Furitchur and alla BookCases anna Shopping anna Delievery Peoples atta door, and alla Maman's Furious Cleaning was not, as it turns out, justa'boutta HousGuests coming to visit wif us, but it seems to be continuing onna'count obba Fakt dat Crissmus! is hedded dis way again!

Well, how was I sus'posed to know?

And you wuldn't beeleeb how big a Deel Maman is making outta dis year's Crissmus!, eidder. It's almost wike dere hab bin no Crissmusses! bifore or sumfing and dere will nebber be anudder wun.

Or mebbe it is becos it has sumfing to do wiffa Fakt dat dere rilly hasn't bin enny Crissmus! in dis Houz bifore fora Long Time.

I dunno, but Maman is driving herself crazy ober This Wun Crissmus!, lemme tell you!

And she is busy takin' ebberybunny wif her onna trip. 

So now dis morning Cokie-da-Fat-Cat has commed Downnastairs to Complain (which issa Indoor Sport for Catz around heer) datta Liberry is fulla stuff dat is Not His, and dat alla Sleeping and Napping Akommydayshuns are taken ober by Boxes and Bags in which he is not allowed!

So I went and hadda wook and I am not allowed eidder!

We got yelled at.

Just for wooking

So you know dat Fings are Not Right around heer at All. And dat BunPen dat Maman put up, well, lemme tell you, it wasn't just for Sheeba, onna'count obba Fakt dat I wound up in it.

Yeah.

And it smelled wike Gurls, so I hadda do sum Hextploratory Chinning to make it smell wike Boys had bin dere, and den Sistah Beffy took me Downnastairs again. 

And wif Maman and Dadda and Sistah Beffy and alla da Delivery Peoples and Auntie Irene anna HousGuests, Auntie Grace and Unkul Peter, all coming and going so much, and bringing alla Stuff anna Bags anna Boxes innu da Houz, Da Dawg is going ebben More Nuts den ushual. Dadda keeps telling him to "Guard" so much datta poor Dawg can't figger out if he is "On Guard" or "Off" obbit. So he preddy much is sleepin' nextest toda Frunt Door, just to Make Shure nobunny comes or goes dat he doesn't know abouddit. 

So we're inna middle ob alla dis, wiffa Catz complaining aboud alla Boxes and Bags, anna Dawg trying to keep track ob Who Is Where, and alla Smells, and den dere is Beebe-Bunny and he is just sitting.

Not sitting and Mugging For Treats (which issa Indoor Sport for bunnies) ebbery time Maman come innu da Bun Room wike Mr Mouse, and not sitting and Finkinkin' which is whut I do, or sitting and telling off Maman wif his ears standing out frum his hed in Raging Disapproval wike MissyBun - but just, you know, sitting and sort of wike, well, waiting.

So I axt him, "Beebe, whut'cha doing?"

And Beebe was wike, "Waiting."

And I'm wike, "Waiting for whut?"

And Beebe says, "Clover."

And I didn't axt him ennyfing else, onna'count obba Fakt dat I know Clover as gone toda Rainbow Bridge and isn't coming back. Becose, you see, I was heer when she Left, and I know where she went, and why she went, and alla dat onna'count obba Fakt dat she 'splained alla it to us bifore she went.

And she 'splained it to Beebe, too.

And now he's Sitting wif Stuffie and Waiting For Clover.

And as Unkul Peter sed, it is sad to see liddle Beebe sitting dere, just waiting

So dat's where we are - wiffa Houz fulla Bags and Boxes, anna Dawg going Nutz, anna bunch ob Complainin' Catz, and Sistah Beffy coming and going, and Maman and Dadda inna rush alla time, and Maman growing more and more frustrated becos she can't do alla fings she wants to ged done in One Day - And Crissmus! Day coming on wike a funderstorm wif food to be cooked, and Stuff to be wrapped up in paper anna Delivery Peoples atta door, ringingg da bell - and den dere is Beebe and Stuffie sitting inna Habbytat, Waiting for Clover. 

It makes you Fink... aboudda Fings...

--------------- By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 10:08 AM EST
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Thursday, 14 December 2006
George's 12th Strand; Day Number 14
Now Playing: House Guests

Well, I didn't unnerstand at Furst - whutsa "HouseGuest"? But it was too late to axt Maman onna'count obba Fakt dat she and Dadda were alreddy losin' dere minds and running around wike idiots - more den ushual.

So it was wike I sed to Missy: "We just godda wait and see whut dis "HouseGuest" fing is alla'bout, and den we can werk out howta deal wiffit."

And Missy sed, "It's probab'ly wike ennyfing else around heer: you hab no idea whut's going on, so you just hang on forda ride." 

So, Wow! You bet'cha! We hadda HouseRabbit HouseGuest!

And it was Sheeba

Sheeba came to see us heer at Our Warren! Yeah, and she broughted along Unkul Peter and Auntie Grace - not togedder (which is whut Sistah Beffy thought, and that wassn't right, so she got all confoozled!) but atta same time, frum dif'frunt airplanes atta same airport.

Got dat?

Hokay.

So Maman set uppa BunPen Uppystairs for Sheeba, wiffa pootiebox and ebberyfing, so dat Sheeba wuld feel dat she was "at home".

And she did. At furst she wassa widdle bit Be Wildered, as in, "Whodaheck are you buggers?" but den we gotta D-Mail going and we all hextchanged infortymayshun and got to know each udder and ebberyfing was hokay. Speshully wif Beebe, onna'count obba Fakt dat he thought mebbe Sheeba (who issa Beautyful Bunny Gurl Ob Almost Gen'rus Pro'porshuns) might be bringing him back his Ms Clover, who originally came from Auntie Grace. Beebe doesn't quite unnerstand da concept ob his dear bunwife going toda Rainbow Bridge and is allus hopeful dat she is coming Back.

At least, dat is whut he is allus telling his Stuffie, but Stuffie (who is just a stuffie, afta all) doesn't say a werd. It is kinda sad, how we can't hextplain to Beeb and how he is ebber-hopeful.

But Sheeba managed to gedda D-Mail going right away, which wassa Good Fing, onna'count obba Fakt dat dere wassa whole wotta stuff going on Uppystairs where Maman had set up stuff forda House Guests.

Soda Dawg is sorta wike "Free Range" in dat he is ebberywheres, alla time, wookin' for "jobs" which is whut Border Collies "do". 

Da Dawg commed Downnastairs to tell Alla Us Togedder alla'boudda "House Guest" fing. He sed dat Furst ob all, dere wassa Noo Sofa inna Liberry, anna Noo Sofa in Maman's Noo Study and rite away, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat got told he culdn't draw his claws, so dat Upsed him At Furst.  And, since nobun was listening to him (as ushual), Cokie-da-Fat-Cat went and he complained to Auntie Grace dat he had no place to draw his claws.

Well, Auntie Grace does not take Complaining Catz well.

Furst ob all, take a pikchur wif your mind:

  • Auntie Grace is tall, whereas Maman is short.
  • Auntie Grace has short, red hair, whereas Maman has long, fair hair.
  • Auntie Grace mooves rilly quick an' fast, and has no problem just scoopin' uppa bunny or a kitty whinebber she comes up behind you, whereas Maman mooves rilly, rilly slow so you can avoid her rilly easily;  - PLUS -
  • It doesn't take much to out-fink Maman, but Auntie Grace will get your brains werkin' ober-time.

So All-in-all, Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren were *not* prepared for Auntie Grace At All!  

Which is how Cokie-da-Fat-Cat came to find himself inna Bafroom, inna BafTub, TRAPPED!, wif no way out, geddin' a BAF!

It was no Day Atta Spa, lemme tell you! 

Howebber, as Sheeba pointed out (By D-Mail) Cokie did smell a whole-wot bedda byda time Auntie Grace and Sistah Beffy had got through wif him.

Now Sheeba brought Unkul Peter wif her. She says she allus travels wif him onna'count obba Fakt dat she cannot travel onna airplane by herself. As she pointed out, airplanes are Speciest! Dey do not allow bunnies to travel on dere berry own, and do not hab good akommydayshuns for bunnies ennyhow.

So Sheeba takes Unkul Peter ebberywhere wif her, and allows him to read buks, and to visit wif udder hoomins. She had nebber seen D-Mail bifore she came to Our Warren, but wikes da concept, if only Da Dawg wassa wittle smarter. But don't we all say dat?

D-Mail when it werks, werks sumfing wike dis: Sheeba tells Da Dawg sumfing while she is Uppystairs inna BunPen. Den Da Dawg hurries Downnastairs, fru da Lounge, anna Dining Room, fru da Kitchin and out innu Da BunRoom to tell Alla Us Togedder. Now da only hang-up wif D-Mail comes if Onna Way, Da Dawg geds side-tracked by a Cat or sumfing, wike iffa DoorBell rings, but gen'rally, he can be counted upon to make it toda BunRoom and to tell Alla Us Togedder whut Sheeba sed, and  We say sumfing,  and den Da Dawg takes Our Message back Uppystairs to Sheeba.

If ebberyfing is werkin' right, dis is D-Mail and it werks. Da onliest time it doesn't werk is if sumbun side-tracks Marc-da-Border-Collie. Un-fortune-etly, dis is preddy easy to do onna'count obba Fakt dat Border Collies aren't da brightest dawgs onna planet, and Marc rents out his brain cell toda Cokie-Cat (you guess which day).

Now, Da RILLY good fing aboud Unkul Peter is dat he does hextackly whut he is told. You wanna treat? Axt Sheeba to axt him. Werks ebbery time. Unwike Maman, Unkul Peter nebber fortygets why he arribed inna BunRoom - it's to gib us sumfing. And, Unwike Maman, Unkul Peter will pik us up fora cuddle.

Sadly, wike Auntie Grace, Maman and Dadda, he seems to hab Hoomin Cooties, but dis issa small price to pay for lub. As Sheeba pointed out, you just hafta wash thoroughly aftawards anna Hoomin Cooties come right off.

HOWEBBER, Unkul Peter is also way too "Suggestable", as I just menshuned, onna'count obba Fakt dat Auntie Grace "suggested" to him dat Alla Us Togedder needed our toe-nails clipped! And he LISTENED TO HER!

Now it is well-known dat Maman nebber listens - and we are used todat, and repeat ourselves ober and ober sumtimes. As Mouse says, dere are times around heer whin you hab to be a brokin rekord in order to ged whut you want, onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman can hang on to a Thought for aboud one sekond longer denna Border Collie - but Unkul Peter LISTENS to Auntie Grace!

And dat's how Alla Us Togedder got our toe-nails clipped!

As MissyBun sed: "Whaaaaaaaaa! Indiggity!"

But her toe-nails was clipped, too. 

So now Sheeba has had to go back onna airplane, and she took Unkul Peter wif her, ob course, to carry her Furrari for her her and feed her raisins, peaches, nanners, and salad. And we will miss her sending us D-Mail

Ob course we can't wait to hab more "House Guests" now dat we hab figgered out whut dat means! 

I will type more aboud Sheeba's visit, too, onna'count obba Fakt dat she had Cokie-da-Fat-Cat skeered outta his tiny mind, and she told Beep-da-Udder-Cat to go lib unner'neaf obba Sofa - and she did! Anna Dawg didn't put his noze inna BunPen, eidder! And Maman and Auntie Grace played "Buyin' Shooos" wif Sistah Beffy, and dere are pikchurs, and den dere wassa Big Dinner Pawty, anna story ob How Dadda Gotta Unushual Hat and More Ob Ebberyfing!

Yeah!

So dere issa wot more to tell and dis is only da Tip Obba IceBerks (onna'count obba Fakt Dadda sed sumfing aboud "berks" dat made ebberybun crease up laffin'). Lemme tell you!  

So HouseGuests are inner'restin' Fings - and I can't wait until we hab sum more!

----------------- By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 9:27 AM EST
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Thursday, 7 December 2006
George's 12th Strand; Day Number 7
Now Playing: A War Story

 

Sumtimes, when Maman is folding laundry inna Bun Room, she tells us whut she calls "War Stories". Sumhow, dey are allus aboudda time when she was werkin' assa p'fesshunal musician. Cos dat's whut she was bifore she wassa bunny-parent. Dere are ebben pikchurs ob her frum dat time, called "hed shots" which, when you come to fink abouddit, are a preddy skerry fing.

 So she was telling us a speshul War Story, aboud her friend, whose name was Lloyd. He was also a friend ob Bim's. Lloyd went toda Rainbow Bridge not long ago, so Maman's talking aboud him was preddy unhexpekted; Maman hassa wotta trubble menshuning udder hoomins who go to da Rainbow Bridge (although wotsa hoomins don't unnerstand dis, cos dey only fink dat dey know Maman. Dey fink she is simple and easy to unnerstand - she is lazy and ungrateful is whut dey fink. Dey are wrong, but you can't tell "sum peeple" Dadda says. He doesn't fink too highly ob "sum peeple" for sum rezon.). 

Ennyways, I wanna tell you aboud Maman's friend, Lloyd. He wassa'nudder musician, and a berry good wun. Maman says he was wun obba furst hoomins who ebber helped her in her p'fesshun, which is rilly saying sumfing, lemme tell you!

Well, when Lloyd was just starting out, Maman says datta whole werld was being taken ober by sum guy named "Hitler" who libbed ober in Europe, and sum udder guys who libbed ober in Japan. Maman says dat "Hitler" guy was a bad man, and datta Japanese was being misled. She says da whole fing was preddy p'litical, and dat it doesn't madder. It is His'try and you can read abouddit inna buk.

She says whut does madder issat one time she anna whole bunch ob her friends were sitting inna Hersal Hall, doing a rehearsal wif Lloyd for a show called Oklahoma!. And sumone came outta Lloyd's office inna theatre, carrying a brown paper sak. And inside ob dis sak, dere wassa musical instrumint called a "French Horn" (which, Maman say is neither French nor a horn, but dere you are), and da instrumint was all battered, and bent up, and discoloured, and it culdn't ebben be played. It was dat messed up!

Anna person said to Lloyd, "Hey Lloyd, whuttaheck happined to dis French Horn?"

And Maman sed Lloyd stopped da rehearsal, and he just kind sat rilly still on his conductor's stool and den he smiled, and he sed, "Funny fing aboud dat."

And den he began to tell dem aboudda French Horn.

He sed dat when he was eighteen years old, he knew he wanted to play da French Horn, but he didn't hab enough munnies to go to a fing called a "Conservatory", so he signed up wiffa United States Navy, cos dey wuld send him to skool to lern how to play da French Horn bedder, and maybe he culd  be inna Navy Band dat played forda Pressydent obba United States. And he sed dis wuld be a great fing fora "kid frumma Midwest".

Yeah! He was dat good at playing da French Horn!

So since he was just starting out, and only eighteen years old, da Navy put him inna sailor suit and put him inna band onna Navy ship called da USS West Virginia, and sent dat ship to a place called Hawaii.

And he thought dis was all berry inner'restin' onna'count obba Fakt dat he was frum dat place called da Midwest, and had nebber seed an ocean, and had nebber lerned how to swim and had nebber bifore been onna ship, and had nebber heard obba place called "Pearl Harbour" bifore in his whole life!

And so it wassa Sunday morning and Lloyd wassn't ebben finking aboudda guy named "Hitler" or Japanese or ennyfing. In Fakt, he was standing in his underwears byda widdle sink, starin' innu a mirror and shabin' and wondering whut "Hawaii" was gonna be wike when he got offa ship and went on toda shore.

And alla sudden, he heard airplanes, and ebberyfing started hextploding alla'round him! And he was scared, and he started running to a fing called "Battle Stations", only when he got dere, it was all on fire. So he ran to anudder place, and he den dere wassa huge hextplosion, anna West Virginia sorta jumped up innu da air. And he wondered why dere were no guns shooting back atta airplanes dat were dropping bombs onna ships lined up inna harbour - specifically why da West Virginia wasn't shooting enny guns -  and it was because da person wiffa key to alla bullets had alreaddy gone ashore!

So Lloyd was standing dere, wif ebberyfing all on fire around him, anna "officer" came by and sed to him,

"Whut are you doing, sailor?"

And Lloyd sed, "Standing by to abandon ship, Sir."

Anna officer sed, "Well do it, Sailor!"

And pushed him ober da railing.

And dere was Lloyd, who culdn't swim, inna wadder!

And he bemembers finking dat he hadda gedda'way frumma ship, because it was sinking and he didn't wanta get caught up innit, but dere was all kinds of *stuff* inna wadder, wike barrels, and wood, and more barrels, and den Lloyd saw a widdle boat drifitn' by. 

So he grabbed on toda boat, and berry carefuuly taked off his shooes and put dem inna boat! He sed he bemembers finking dat dose were his best shooes and he hadda take care ob dem. He sed dat when you are skerred outta your mind, da strangest fings occur to you - Wike saving your shooes inna middle ob Pearl Harbour.

And den he bemembers wooking around forda West Virginia, and she was gone.

Just gone. 

Anna whole sea all around him was on fire, and he was all OnAlone.

And nextest, he bemembered dat he was stumbling onna beach, and dere wassa house, anna door was open, so he knocked but no one answered. So onna'count obba Fakt datta door was open, he went inside, and he went innu da bedroom and found sum shirts inna closet, and he put wun on, because he didn't fink he shuld be runnin' around all wet, wif no shirt and only his Navy unnerpants and socks on. 

And den sum guy came in and axted him whut he was doin' and called him "sir", and dat puzzled Lloyd, but dat was hokay, cos he was beginning to find ebberyfing preddy puzzling now. And he left a note saying he had borrowed da shirt and wuld return it as soon as he culd, and went off wiffa guy who called him "sir". And he noticed datta shirt had dees, wike, leafs onna collar, but Lloyd sed he didn't rilly getta point obba oak leafs onna shirt atta time, onna'count obba Fakt dat he had just more or less been blown off his ship.

And dat guy he was wif gabe Lloyd a gun and told him to go "on guard dooty".

Well, da only fing was, Lloyd had nebber been taught ennyfing aboud guns onna'count obba Fakt dat he had been in Navy Musician Skool. So he went wandering around onna beach, wiffa gun, inna borrowed shirt wif leafs onna shoulders and unnerpants, on guard against whutebber - until sum udder Navy people found him, and took him to a place where he could lie down and sleep, and get sum food and figger out whut had just happined to him.

Whut had happined to him was "Pearl Harbour". Da West Virginia had been sunk in her berth, going straight to the bottom, taking Lloyd's French Horn wif her.

Well, wiffoud his French Horn, Lloyd wasn't much use to the Navy band and cossa Hitler in Europe dere wasn't enough special metal (called "brass") to make anudder French Horn for him to play, so he taught himself to play da guitar rilly, rily well (Maman sed he wassa fantastic musician!) and da Navy decided dey did need him inna band afta all! They put him innu da Jazz Band atta Officers' Club atta Royal Hawaiian Hotel, and he spent da rest obba Werld War Two playing inna jazz band for sailors on "R & R" at nite,  and making up beds during da day. And dat's whut he did from 1942 until 1945.

And afta da War was finally ober, da Navy raised da West Virginia frumma bottom ob Pearl Harbour, and dey found Lloyd's French Horn unnerneaf ob his bunk! So dey put it inna paper sak, and sent it to Lloyd, and he put it in his office, which is where Maman and her friends found it. And Lloyd took dat whole rehearsal forda show Oklahoma! to tell dem aboud Pearl Harbour and his French Horn.

So why am I telling you dis War Story? Becos Maman sed dat we Shuld Allus Bemember whut sum Young Hoomins are doing for us, datta Navy, anna Army, anna Air Force, anna Marines anna Coast Guard are all made up ob young - berry young - hoomins, wike Lloyd  and Bim, and wike our Phil-da-Lad, and Auntie Grace's Matt, who are
all in skerry situations ebbery day, all ob dem doing dere best to keep alla us safe.

And tiday is Pearl Harbour Day.

So if you sumone inna uniform tiday, please go shake their hand and say, "Fank you for serving."

And if you have a spare momint, please senda prayer or a vibe for alla brave young hoomins who went toda Rainbow Bridge on dat Sunday in Hawaii.

--------------------- By George 


Posted by Our Warren at 7:49 AM EST
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Tuesday, 5 December 2006
George's 12th Strand: Day Number 5
Now Playing: My Bibliography

 

Guess whut?

It says dis morning, inna Noo Yawk Times' "Buk Sekshun" dat, "the bibliography has lately been creeping into novels, rankling critics who call it a pretentious extension of the acknowledgments page, which began appearing more than a decade ago and was roundly derided as the tacky literary equivalent of the Oscar speech."

"'Pretentious extensions'! Whoa! Dat sounded ommynimmynuss, so I axted Maman whut it meant.

And she sed it wassa "soshul disease ob writers", so I was werried in case I might hab caught it (you know, sort ob wike bunny-clap, which you can't help if you geddit  onna'count obba Fakt dat it is a disease dat is spread by nasty Br**d*rs who hab no moral consciouses ennyways) but Maman just rolled her eyes and sed,

"No, George, you're not infected by any 'pretentious extensions', or even by 'Bibliographies', either, for that matter."

But I still wassn't sure. I mean, I DO digest buks. It makes Maman short-tempered sumtimes, 'specially when she hasta replace a partik'ilar buk or sumfing dat I hab Totally digested, and not just tore into. Wike da time I found dat rilly tasty buk on World War I flying aces by Arch Whitehouse; I mean, I just ate dat buk up. Unfortchuneately, Maman wasn't too happy aboud'dat at all, onna'count obba Fakt dat she wiked dat buk, too - so much so dat she had taken great pains to steal it frum her Dadda, who had stealed it back frum her, and den she stealed it away frum him...

You see, Maman and her Dadda hadda "Stealing Liberry". Sum hoomins habba "Lending Liberry" where dey borrow buks frum each udder, but Maman and her Dadda had a Staling Liberry where dey wuld steal buks back and forf. Dere issa dif'frunce.

It usually began wif Maman's Dadda (who was called Bim, which anudder whole story dat I hab told in anudder blog sumwhere's else) wooking ober Maman's collection ob buks and suddinly pulling wun offa shelf, saying, 

"So That's where that went!"

And Maman would hurry up behind him, trying to peer ober his shoulder and be wike, "Whut? Dat's mine!"

And Bim wuld say, "No, I clearly remember I bought this in..." and he would start reciting a wong, wong his'try ob where da buk was found and purchased, and usually da werd "Christmas" or "Birfday" would be inna story sumwheres.

And Maman wuld be wike, "Oh no you don't. Dat is my copy ob dat buk. I got it..." And Maman wuld tell anudder, equally wong story aboud how dat buk was found and who purchased it, and how da buk def'nitly belonged to her.

And da buk, itself, wuld, by now, be sitting onna table insted ob being onna bukshelf where it belonged.

And den, afta Bim had had coffee, and stayed for awhile in Maman's kitchen and talked and alla dat, he wuld get up and say he hadda go, and he wuld get half-way toda door and den stop, and say to Maman, "Oh, I fortygot dat buk!"

And Maman, who wasn't finking aboudda buk at all and was finking aboud his going sumwhere's else, wuld go getta buk frum offa table and gib it to him.

Den sumtime later, she wuld be ober at Bim's houz and she wuld see da buk on Bim's liberry shelf, and she wuld say, "Hey. I usta habba copy ob dis buk! In fact, it was hextactly wike dis buk! In Fakt it was dis buk!"

And den she wuld carry it outta Bim's houz and back to her liberry.

Well, now Bim has gone on ahead toda Rainbow Bridge and is probably stealing buks wif Belinda Bunny who hadda reel fondness for digesting buks, too. And Maman hassa berry 'pressive Liberry ob her own wif Dadda, dat has managed to spread innu two rooms, sodat dere is now a Liberry anna Reading Room heer where dere usta be only a Study anna Guest Room.  Anna Reading Room is where Maman and I come to read da Noospapers OnLine inna Morning.

And it's where I saw dis artykul inna Noo Yawk Times about novelists who are listing pages and pages ob "Bibliographies" atta end ob dere fikshunal werks assa kind ob "literary affecktayshun" (as Maman calls it).

So I axted her, "Shuld I list my Bibliography so I can habba Fashionable Literary Affektayshun, too, like Martin Amis and Ian McEwan?"

And Maman wooked at me sideways and axted, "Why do you mention those two writers?"

And I sed, "Onna'count obba Fakt dat nobunny is more Fashionable or Affekted den Martin Amis or Ian McEwan." I told her. "Dey ged menshuned alla time inna Guardian OnLine and inna Noo Yawk Daily Noos. Ebben Michael Crichton hassa Bibliography atta back ob his noo novel and it takes up Seven Whole Pages! Now dat is Affekted and Fashionable for you!"

And Maman sat berry quiet at her 'puter fora sekond and she axted me, "George, why do you fink you wuld put a Bibliography in a buk? I mean, aside from being 'Fashionable and Affekted'?"

And MissyBun wooked up frum nosing around inna pellet crock and offered, "How about cos he is braggin'?"

And Mouse called ober frum his habbytat, "I digested a 'Yellow Pages" in two days. Buk one day, confetti two days later."

And I sed, "Well, how about if sumbunny read sumfing I typed and wanted to know more abouddit? Dey culd read my 'Bibliography' and see where to read more infortymayshun. Hoz'zat?"

And Maman nodded.

"Probably the least selfish excuse I've heard so far." She sed. 

 And den Maman sort ob frowned innu her coffee cup (it was geddin' empty) and she axted me, "And if you were suddenly 'Fashionable', George, just which buks would you list in your Bibliography, anyway?"

And I sat down in her Big Chair Atta 'Puter and hadda Fink For A Few Minutes and dis issa list ob Buks dat I Fink I wuld put innu my Bibliography:

  • The House Rabbit Hand Book: Living With An Urban Rabbat (Available at http://www.rabbit.org)
  •  When A Man Loves A Rabbit by Bruce Atchison. (Available at  www.bookadz.com/batchison.htm)
  • Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis (Available at http:www.amazon.com)
  • The Book of Common Prayer (Available as a download at http://www.commonprayer.org)

And that wuld preddy much be my Generalised Bibilography, onna'count obba Fakt dat I digest special Buks for special Blogs, wike enny udder writer. I mean, I do do my research! I am not a writer wike dat James Frey, who writed a "fictionalized memoir". I mean, whutdaheck issa "fictionalized memoir"? How can sumbun bemember whut hasn't happined to dem? If sumbunny is gonna write Fiction den da least dey can do is say, "Hey, guess whut? Dis didn't ackchually happin to me, but iffit did, dis is how I fink it wuld hab happined, if it happined." 

Dere is no sense in going on Oprah! and pretending to be sumbun you aren't just to be "Fashionable and Affeckted" - not whin so menny udder writers are doing da same fing in udder places and getting paid for it, too.

I mean, Rilly!

So I axted Maman if my Bibliography List was hokay, and she sed:

"Yes, George. It's very 'hokay'. Probably not very Fashionable - because admitting to reading Lewis isn't going to win anybun any friends or influence any people in the normal sense of the term - and I know because it's yours, it's not "Affekted" at all."

And I sort ob put my ears down, becos my Biliography didn't seem wike it wuld be 'zactly whut was needed inna Publishing Werld. I mean, it is berry hard to be a Small Noo Zealand Rabbit Wiffa Small Blog he has taken ober frumma'Complished and Popular Inkwish Spot Bunny.Belinda Bunny wassa Reel Pioneer when she started The Hay Diaries Blog back on January 1, 2004. Almost nobunny knew about "blogs" den, and dere were certainly no Houserabbits who were typing them! I am berry aware dat I hab big feets in which to follow!
 
And whin Belinda left forda Rainbow Bridge, I was only a Youngbun, just starting to Grow 'Telligint. I certainly didn't know ennyfing aboud being "Fashionable and Affekted" yet.
 
And I'm not too sure dat I know much aboud being "Fashionable and Affekted" now, just wike I'm not too sure dat I am a whole lot more 'Telligint now den I was den - but Me,Hunny <Senior Bun> told me dat "Bunnies nebber grow old; dey just grow more 'Telligint" and ebber since he told me dat, I hab bin werkin' hard on dat 'Telligent fing, trying to grow more and more 'Telligent so I can become wike him - a Wise and Ancient Elder-Bun. 
 
But I don't fink I wuld mind if "Fashionable", just happined to get inklooed in dere, too... 
 
-----------------------------------By George 
 


Posted by Our Warren at 6:24 AM EST
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Sunday, 3 December 2006
George's 12th Strand; Day Number 3
Now Playing: Away On Biznez Part II

 

 (Dis is Part II. Go Down to read Part I, den come back to heer, hokay?)

"The fact is," continued Maman, smoothing out the towels, more gently now, and laying them in three, neat, orderly piles on top ob our habbytats.

"The fact is that John Spong's A Call for a New Reformation should have been published, but it should have never been permitted to cause the stir that it did. It was not anything "new" or "original" - the arguments for and against Science as the antidote for Religion have been around forever. Denying the Divinity of Jesus Christ is defined as Heresy in Anglicanism, as is denying the validity of the Scriptures. His writing comes under the heading of Not Good in that it causes people to lose their Faith, and to feel that there is no point in following Jesus' brilliant summation of the Jewish Law and Prophetical Writings: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all our mind." and "Love your neighbour as yourself." (Matt. 22; 37 - 39)

"If you believe Spong, it does no good to be an observant Anglican, or to be an observant Roman Catholic, or to be an observant Jew or to be anything that is so blindingly of One colour – one must believe in a murky, ill-defined *Everything is All and All is Everything* kind of grey.

"Yet the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopalian Church in America has enthusiastically embraced John Spong – yes, physically wrapped her arms around and embraced the author of the flawed A call for a New Reformation! This man, who was consecrated as a bishop in the Anglican faith, whose sworn duty it was to be a shepherd to his flock and to lead them safely along their pathways to God (and he drew a salary to do this! One would think that he would have felt a moral obligation to refuse to accept such Judas-silver...), when he was, in fact, actively engaged in leading them off a philosophical cliff - but the new Presiding Bishop has embraced such a man, and with him, embraced his false teachings."

Maman leaned down to look directly at me as I munched on sum hay, and she sed, "So if I see before me a gathering darkness, George, is it not my duty to sound a little alarum bell? And if in so doing, I manage to make myself unpopular..." 

She sat down, very carefully, onna floor nextest to me and I stepped close toda side obba habbytat, and put my paws togedder and got innu a loaf so I could listen to her.

"The fing," she said. "The fing is that I believe the Church is headed in the wrong direction. When I say 'The Church', I mean the Church where we go, the Anglican Church. I see bad fings when there is no definition between what is good and what is not good. Suddenly, in the words of C.S. Lewis, we become confused into thinking that "everything is good and everywhere is Heaven" when the real truth is that "good is everything and Heaven everywhere".

"So where can I go to Church if I no longer believe in my Church, George? Where do I go to put in my Pledge envelop when I know that the money is going to fund something in which I have no faith? How can I worship God in a place where I feel He is welcome in Name, only? And to whom do I look for leadership when the leaders challenge me to prove one of their own number is faithless?

"Spong writes in A Call for a New Reformation: '10. Prayer cannot be a request made to a theistic deity to act in human history in a particular way.' Well, isn't that encouraging to those who seek God's assistance in times of trouble? 'We're sorry but the number you have reached has been disconnected or is not assigned. Please check the number and dial again.' But you'll notice, George that Spong leaves us with no other solution. It's all just, 'You're on your own! Tough luck!'."

 "His must be a very barren universe: just endless chaos or an endless void, leading to what? There is no consolation, no Rainbow Bridge, no point to being alive, nothing to be learned, nothing of intrinsic value - only darkness at the end of the grave. Yet thousands of years of human belief says that this one man tells lies! When for two thousand years we have believed in the Son of God who described how Death is but a doorway. And the look that I have seen in the eyes more bunnies than I can count concludes that Saint Paul was right and that These Three Remain - Faith, Hope and Love, and the greatest of these is Love'."

"Because, George," she said, leaning close to me. "How can it be otherwise? But I don't have the 'correct' alpha-bet soup after my name to challenge people like Spong. I can be nothing other than I am - a plain Anglican who reads the Book of Common Prayer and goes to Church and says the Daily Office to herself. So why did the man in Canterbury tell me to write what I considered to be a very superficial refutation of a heresy?

"Because nothing makes sense, George. The politics of the Episcopal Church in America don't make sense (and it is internal politics that elected the Presiding Bishop - it surely wasn't her scholarship, nor her experience, nor her leadership, so what is left?) unless one believes that there is a move on the part of the Americans to arrogantly assume that money equals power. And it doesn't make sense that I should be writing what I am, nor does it seem possible that I could miss someone as much as I miss your Dadda - my whole world seems so terribly dark when he isn't here!"

And Maman sighed, and rested her hed against Missy's and my habbytat. So I groomed a liddle bit ob her hair, but she's got sumfing onnit, sum stuff dat tastes funny, wike Froot, kind ob, so I grabbed hold ob summ'obb'it wif my lips and pulled it out. 'Parently her hair is a'tached to her hed preddy tight - ennyways, it didn't tasted right at all

And Maman pulled herself up byda sides obba habbytat. Den she went toda 'Fridge and pulled outta package ob dose "Baby Peeled Organic Carrots" and gabe wun to Mouse, and wun to Beebe-Bunny!! and wun to MissyBun and wun to me!

And den, while she was petting me, she sed, "And you know whut else doesn't seem to make much sense, George? That I am having an intense theological discussion with a house-rabbit."

And I wooked up at her wif my mouf full ob "Baby Peeled Organic Carrot" and sed, "You nebber know, Maman. You just nebber know..."

--------------------------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 3:13 PM EST
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George's 12th Strand, Day Number 3
Now Playing: Away On Biznez Part I

 

 

Well, Dadda has been Away On Biznez for awhile now. He's comin' back tiday, which issa berry good fing.

Becos while Dadda has been Away On Biznez, Sistah Beffy (wif Anastasia - you do know dat Anastasia is gonna arrive inna beginning ob February, right? Well, dat's whutta doctors say, but Maman says dat hoomin babies arrive when dey feel wike it, just wike bunny-kits. And Maman shuld know - she has had two hoomin babies: Sistah Beffy and Phil-da-Lad.) So ennyways, Sistah Beffy (wif Anastasia) and Adam hab been sort ob libbin' heer to "take care ob Maman" as Dadda said.

 He axted them to lib heer while he was Away On Biznez onna'count obba Fakt dat he is afraid dat Maman might get dizzy and fall down and get hurt anna Dawg wuldn't know how to dial da tellyphone to get help.

But even though Sistah Beffy (wif Anastasia) has been heer, Maman still has hadda lotta time to Fink while she has been doing da washing up, anna laundry, and takin' showers and stuff. Maman says dat she allus finks bedda when she is around wadder.

So dis morning, Maman decided to do summa da laundry dat's been followin' her around, and she discubbered dat dere were towels inna dryer, so while she was folding dem, she started talking to Alla Us Togedder. And she sed:

"Going to a Church with whom I have developed fundamental disagreements about doctrine is a difficult business." 

And she set a striped towel on top ob MissyBun's and my habbytat. So I hadda wook at it, to see if it seemed warm and tasty. Sum towels do, you know. 

And Maman pulled anudder towel frumma dryer-fing and went on: "...the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Reverend Rowan Williams wrote in reply to John Spong's "12 Points", while Williams was Bishop of Monmouth: "[...] I cannot in any way see Bishop Spong's theses as representing a defensible or even an interesting Christian future. And I want to know whether the Christian past scripture and tradition, really appears to him as empty and sterile as this text suggests." [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Shelby_Spong] - yet we, here in the United States, are presented with the public acceptance - make that "adoration" - of Spong by our new Presiding Bishop! Spong is, quite simply, a heretic who denies the divinity of Jesus Christ and the validity of the Scriptures.

(See: http://www.dioceseofnewark.org/jsspong/reform.html for the document A Call for a New Reformation by John Shelby Spong). 

"When I wrote to Canterbury, I asked how an Anglican living in the States was supposed to worship in the Episcopalian Church in America (which is the representative branch of the Anglican Communion in the United States), that I believed was embracing at least one heresy by embracing Spong and by extension, his writings. I was told (by return email) that it was my duty as an Anglican to present what I believed was conclusive evidence of Spong's heresy.

"Well then." Sed Maman. "Here goes. I presented the URL to John Spong’s A Call for a New Reformation - which he compares with no sense of shame to the Ninety-five Theses of Martin Luther! – and my reasons for believing that it is a heretical document. So far as I know, he has not repudiated this document, and therefore, remains a heretic. Just why I was asked to do this, George, I have no clue. I am not a theologian nor an apologist. I have never graduated from seminary. I’m a music historian, but someone asks and I’ll do my best to reply.

"I am all for Anglicanism continuing to express the Media Via in Christianity - I believe and will continue to believe that there are as many ways to God as there are people created - but that does not mean that there are no moral absolutes.

"Some things are indeed good and some things are not good; one must seek always to do that which is defined by Our Lord as good and fight very hard against that which is not good. As C.S. Lewis reminds us in The Great Divorce, “Evil can be undone but it cannot ‘develop’ into good.” There are decisions to be made. Black and white do not end somewhere in pure, blinding white, but in a kind of murky grey colour.

"But back to Spong's A Call for a New Reformation. The document is illogical from it's opening claim that, 'The institution that called itself the body of Christ ... produced the Hundred Years War and the conflict between England and Spain that came to a climax in the destruction of the Spanish Armada in 1588.'

"The Hundred Years' War, like all wars, was a result of many pressures: religious, economic, as well as nationalistic. One cannot stuff a century of on-again, off-again raid and counter-raid that historians have in retrospect labelled "The Hundred Years' War" into one, spare paragraph and blame it all on a conflict between "Protestant" and "Roman Catholic" belief systems. War between nations is not simple, and it is not clean and easily defined as one thing or another, not even with the 20/20 hind-sight of historical research.  

"Since the author wishes us to take his paper seriously, he should take pains to be certain that it's foundations are not laid upon risible historical generalisations." Said Maman, in her best Instructor’s Voice.

And she flapped a towel rilly, rilly Rilly hard, so that it made a loud *bang*, and then she folded it in brisk, tight motions, like she was getting it innu line, instead ob just folding it to be put away inna cupboard. Belinda oncet told me dat Maman was considered a berry “tough” teacher when she lectured in music history. And Maman can be whut’chu call “strict” when she is "’Nnoyed" aboud fings.

So she went on: "And then I challenge this next assertion: 'The need for a new theological reformation began when Copernicus and Galileo removed this planet from its previous supposed location at the centre of the universe, where human life was thought to bask under the constant attention of a humanly defined parental deity.' Reform? No. Adjustment? Perhaps. None of the Science discovered so far negates the existence of God.  In fact, Science, as we understand it only re-enforces the argument that there must be a Supreme Being.

"Think of the Darwinian Theory of Evolution, for example. There are any number of people who believe that if one believes in the Theory of Evolution, one cannot believe in God, and furthermore, one cannot possibly be a Christian. In fact, the whole hierarchy of modern education has it's knickers in a knot over this very controversy! And it is so, so silly because it is all so, so gratuitous.

"So I will ask you, George Bunny Rabbit, A Great Question (mainly because I believe a bunny rabbit's answer is worth one hundred times that of an Education Departmental Chair's): Is it possible to agree with me that at one critical point, a certain gene, or set of genes mutated in such a way that a tree-dwelling proto-human became, in fact, human?”

And I wooked at Maman and thought for a second and then sed, “You nebber know, Maman. You just nebber know…”

And rite away, she clapped her hands and cried out, “You are correct, George Bunny Rabbit! You do not "ebber" know because you were not there at that one critical point! You were never inside of that one critical proto-human's head - so how could you possibly know, with utter certainty, the exact moment and by what specific means that one critical proto-human evolved into a modern human being? You nebber know. And you probably nebber will know. But that is not to say that it Never Happened, either, as some of the Creationalists and Intelligent Designers would have it. Some specific things are perhaps Unknowable by mere human means!  

"So, why then is there such a problem in believing in Evolution? Why must we have the Creationists and Intelligent Designers lined up against the Darwinians and Atheists like ducks in a shooting gallery? It’s asinine. Does belief in Evolution automatically remove God from the chain of Human development? Not at all! Does belief in God preclude any belief in the Darwinian Theory? Never! The two are not mutually exclusive unless someone’s mind is slammed shut more tightly than a space shuttle’s airlock. Because at some critical point - a point that science can neither define nor even propose to locate - something caused something to happen, that made human beings become 'human'. And that something, I define as God.

"And why not define that something as God? Defining that something that changed human beings from whatever they were into the human beings they currently are, will not curtail the investigation into discovering more about that Something. It is within the nature of human beings to ask questions and discover answers. It is how we are made - how God made us, if you will (because we did acquire this trait somehow, you must admit!) – but it is how we are made, perhaps, so that we could find our way to Him.

"As I said, my dearest George, there are as many paths to God as there are people to tread them. Science is only another path. It is all right to believe in the Theory of Evolution, because the Theory of Evolution does not call for any 'theological reformation', nor does the 'Big Bang Theory' of the creation of the Universe call for any great 'theological reformation'. God remains as a 'First Cause' for all things, and the more we discover about the origins of our species, and the origins of our Universe, the more we are moved to wonder at the unique and shining genius of the Supreme Architect of the Universe who has been there before us. 

"Spong insists that we all must dismiss belief in Jesus' miracles, belief in any and every miracle in light of the discoveries of Science. This argument is not original, and has been carried on before by better minds than either his or mine. In fact, I recommend that he have a look at Lewis’ The Great Divorce as starter material. He will probably dismiss it as not being scholarly, but this dismissal only begs the real question, which is this: How can Spong know all about what happened during the occurrence of one of Jesus’ – or anyone’s – miracles?

"I don't believe that John Spong was a witness at any of the miracles that are related either the Old or New Testaments of the Bible, so how does he know what *really* went on? He is relying upon the information he has gathered about these miracles from reading about them in the Bible. This is not the same thing as actually witnessing a miracle, not what a historian would consider “primary source” material, as he contends.

"He mentions that Science has proven that miracles, as they are reported in the Scriptures, just *can’t* happen. He is therefore perfectly willing to accept evidence of one sort, which will prove his contentions that what occurred couldn't possibly be a miracle while rejecting any conclusions reached by contemporary witnesses about what they actually observed.

"The fact is that Spong can't have it both ways. Either the reportage in the Bible is all fiction or it is what it is: published oral histories of eye-witnesses. He was not there. He did not see for himself, so he can render no judgement about what other people said that they saw. And he cannot impose the rigorous conditions of Scientific Theory upon what was or was not reported by people who lived centuries before he did – and if he can, I would really like to see him re-create ALL of the variables (of say, Velikovsky’s explanation for the Parting of the Red Sea) in the laboratory!

 (Part II is coming up inna nextest postie!)


Posted by Our Warren at 3:08 PM EST
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Friday, 24 November 2006
George's Eleventh Strand; Day Number 24
Now Playing: Pie! It's Whut's For Brekfast!

Yeah!

 I had no clue, eidder, but when Maman came innu da Bun Room dis morning she sed, "Good Morning, Bunnies!" to us, and started taking stock ob whut was inna 'Frigerator.

And she sed: "Guess whut's for lunch?"

And Dadda, who had followed her along and was waiting for his kettle to boil, sed, "Wooks wike turkey."

And Maman sed, "You got dat rite."

And den she sed, "Guess whut's for tea?"

And Dadda sed, "Lemme see... Turkey?"

And Maman sed, "Go toda hed obba class!"

And den she sed, "And guess whut's for brekfast?"

And Dadda sed, "It had bedder not be turkey, onna'count obba Fakt dat no madder how good da turkey is, it is not brekfast food!"

And Maman sed, "Fank you for playing. Da ansur is not 'turkey'. Da correct ansur is 'Pie'."

And Dadda was wike, "Pie? For brekfast?"

And Maman is wike, "It's annA'Murrican Tradishun! Onna Day Afta Fanksgibbin' you hab Pie For Brekfast!"

And she wooks at Alla Us Togedder and adds, "Rite, Bunnies?"

And Beebe, Mouse, Missy and I preddy much agree, becos we can preddy much see dat dere mite be sumfing in dis for us if we agree wif her. Dere ushally is.

Den Da Dawg, who preddy much has figgered out whut we alreddy know, chimes in dat he agrees wif Maman, too.

Pie. It's whut's for Brekfast. 

So Dadda's wike, "I dunno. I don't fink I want Pie for Brekfast."

Anna Dawg says quickly, "So I'll hab Dadda's share."

And Dadda says, "You know, I fink I'll extend my Fankgibbin' Hollyday to tiday, too, wike ebberybunny else inna'Murrica. I'm habbin' a hard time werkin' up enny 'thusyasm for ennyfing tiday." 

And by dis time, Maman's bringin' outta Pies.

Dere is pun'kin, peekcan and a fing dat is not hextactly a pie, but sort ob is wike one, called Appul Crumble.

Now we bunnies had alreddy tried sum ob dat pun'kin stuff yestidday.

Maman had come innu da Bun Room wiffa big spoonfull ob orange stuff and sed to Beebe, "Dis is FRESH Pun'kin. Our Friend in SoCal, Beezer, lubs it! Our Friend Wally (ATB), ob HAREWEAR, recommends it. Whut'chu fink Mr Mouse?"

And Mouse had taken a wook attit and sed, "I fink you're trying to poison me! Ged dat spoon away frum me!" and ran toda back ob his habbytat.

So Maman was wike, "Hokay for you." And moobed ober to Beebe's habbytat.

Well, Beebe lunged atta spoon (it was invadin' his habbytat and he allus lunges at ebberyfing dat invades his space, frum habbin' been a Skool Bunny and abused and all) and he accidentally bit da spoon, whch got him a'accidental mouf-full ob pun'kin. And he stood dere wif orange pun'kin all ober his face for a minute, and den stawted munchin'. And preddy soon he licked his bunny-lips and munched summore, and den went back and had sekonds. Den he had thirds, and forfs, and den Maman sed he had "Enuf."

And she went to ged anudder spoon.

Den she came ober to us.

But her hand was preddy shakey and she sorta mashed sum obba punk'kin on Missy's nose wiffout meanin' to.

And Missy was wike, "EWWWWW! I've got punk'in on my face! EWWWW! Help! Cooties! EWWWWW!"

And she ran innu da corner obba habbytat. Den da spoon, wif Maman not too stable onna end obbit, wabed in my direkshun, and I was wike, "EWWW! Cooties! EWWWWW! Poison! EWWWW!" (cos dat's whut I'd herd!)

And I ran forda corner, too, and buried my nose in Missy's fur.  

And Maman was wike, "Well! All rite for you two!"

And off she went, all 'fended-wike.

So dis morning, she's gotta finished pun'kin pie, and she pours herself summa dat "coffee" in her cup and cuts sum pie outta da dish onna counter. And she offers a fork-full, dis time, to Mouse, and says, "Habba bite. Dis is dif'frunt frum whut you had yestidday."

And Mouse hassa snif and says, "Y'know, dis wuld be so much easier if you culd just do raisins!" and turns his back on her.

And Maman says to Dadda, "He is def'nit'ly your bunny! Becos he won't eat Pie for brekfast eidder."

And Dadda wooks atta Dawg and says, "Come on, Mister. Go patrol your Gardin."

Anna Dawg (who is not over-endowed wif brains) says, "And you'll sabe me sum pie?"

And Dadda (who speaks "Dawg" preddy well) says, "Do you want a cookie?"

Which makes da Dawg completely fortyged aboudda pie, and makes him start bouncin' around atta door barkin', "Cookie! Cookie! Gimmie! Cookie!"

So Dadda gibs him a Milk-Bone Dawg Biscuit anna Dawg goes out da Back Door, waggin' his tail growling, "I gotta cookie! I gotta cookie - hang on! Whutta aboudda pie? Pie?"

And just den, Dadda says, "Go count your squirrels."

Anna stoopit Dawg goes rocketting off, barking, "Squirrell! Squirrell!" completely fortygedding aboudda pie again.

So Dadda shuts da Back Door. 

So while Dadda has bin doing alla dis wiffa Dawg, Maman cut offa bite ob pun'kin pie and put it in Beebe's treat baskit. And ob course Beebe is all hexcited, onna'count obba Fakt dat he likes pun'kin ennyways. So as soon as he sees da bite ob Pie comin', Beebe yells out:

"YO! Incoming!" and dashes off to his treat baskit to start munching.

So we're nextest on Maman's Brekfast Handout List.

And heer it comes, smelling ob dis Cinnymin and sugar and above all, Pun'kin, and heer it is in our Treats Baskit, two rabbit-sized bites ob Pie sitting nextest to each udder. So Missy sort ob waddles ober to one and sniffs it and and gibs it an exploratory lick.

 And I'm standing back, onna'count obba Fakt dat since Maman smooshed da spon-full ob pun'kin innu Missys face, I amma berry cautious bunnyrabbit!

And den suddinly, Missy is takin' bites ob pun'kin pie! And I don't mean dainty, widdle bunny-bites, I mean she is takin' warge, healfy gob-stoppin' mouf-fulls heer, wif her teefs and ebberyfing!

And Missy's out-right munchin! And den she turns around to me, (becos I'm waiting for her to fall ober or sumfing, becos she and Mouse did say datta stuff was fulla cooties and poison da wast time!) and she's standin' dere ober da Treat Baskit wif her mouf all full ob dis pun'kin pie stuff, and her bunny-lips are all orangey and all,

And she says to me:

"Pie. It's whut's for brekfast." 

 ---------------------------- By George


Posted by Our Warren at 9:39 AM EST
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