Now Playing: 'Lert Loop
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Ebbery Bunny inna Warren hassa job. Dat's just Whut We Do. Ebberybunny hassa Place, and ebberybunny is Needed. We are Alla Us Togedder to make a warren.
Onna'count obba Fakt dat ebberybunny is allus bedder at sumfings . We all hab Gifts. So ebbery bunny takes part inna running ob stuff and No Bun Gets Left Out or is OnAlone. EbberyBun is needed inna Warren, and NoBun is ebber useless!
Dat's whut it means to be Alla Us Togedder!
So, in Our Warren, I amma 'Lert Bunny. Dis means dat I stay awake all night Onna'Lert, making sure datta Warren is safe. I sleep all day to make dis happin, but dat is Hokay onna'count obba Fakt dat I amma NightBunny preddy much ennyways - meaning dat wike sum hoomins, I am more inclined to sleep during da day and be awake at night.
And you gotta'mit, da Werld needs those ob us whose Biological Clocks are set to run inna Dark. We might be dif'frunt frum you, but we are da wuns who run alla Power Stations, and 'Mergency Services, and Hospiddles, and Noos Outlets, and ebberyfing else dat is Opin All Night. Inna Anglican Lore, we beleeb God knew Whut He Was Doing whin He created Alla Kinds ob Beings.
So ennyways, I amma 'Lert Bunny heer at Our Warren.
Dis is how it werks:
I sleep all day so I can be awake alla Night Long. I stay awake, wif my ears standing up, scooping in alla sounds frum ebberywheres inna Houz and frum Outside. Dere is nuffin' dat I don't hear. And I know alla sounds, just as I was told alla them frum me,Hunny frum when he wassa 'Lert Bunny bifore I growed Tellygint enuf to habba job.
So I stay awak alla Night, inna Dark and Listen. And if I hear a Noise that I don't recognise, I give an Alarm *THUMP*.
This *THUMP* issa berry Old Rabbit Signal that can be herd above ground and also down unner da ground, inna Burrows. It means "Danger ", and it is Serious. I don't hab these Big Feets for nuffin'.
Well, when I *THUMP* heer at Our Warren, that usually brings Da Dawg, who is Hed ob HomeFruntDoor Sekurity. He also stays awake, staying Onna'Lert for Intruders or Danger.
So when I *THUMP*, he comes frum wherebber he happins to be inna Houz, sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da Habbytat and axts, "Hey George BunnyRabbit, whutssamatta? You all right?"
Now, dis issa Dawg, doing His Job, and he issa Border Collie and Border Collies LOVE habbin' JOBS. It's Whut Border Collies Do.
Ob course, sumtimes, he is so pleased to habba Job, dat he sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da wrong habbytat. And Mr Mouse and Beebe bof hab Strickt Roolz aboudda Where Dawgs Shuld Stick Inquiring Noses, and Most obba Roolz revolve around "Not In My Habbytat". So whenna Dawg sticks his Inquiring Nose innu da Wrong Habbytat, he usually geds peed on.
But dis is mostly onna'count obba Fakt dat they are not Onna'Lert at Night and he has waked them up by sticking his Inquiring Nose where it doesn't belong. Mr Mouse issa 'Lert Bunny when it is Day.
So ennyways, Da Dawg comes and axts me,
"Whutssamatta, Geroge BunnyRabbit?"
And I'll tell him Whut I Herd.
Anna Dawg will ponder dis.
And he'll axt me, "Did you hear a Cat?"
And I'll say, "I dunno."
Then den he'll axt me, "Did you hear sumfing inna BackGardin?"
And I'll say, "I dunno."
And nestest he'll axt me, "Was it a Cat Uppystairs?"
And I'll say, "I dunno."
And den he'll say, "So whut was it?"
And I'll say, "Dat's why I *THUMPED*! Onna'count obba Fakt dat I dunno!"
And onna'count obba Fakt dat Dadda says Da Dawg shares a brain-cell wiffa Cokie-Cat, anna Cokie-Cat has alreddy taken da cell Uppystairs forda night, da Da Dawg is now 'Fishully Puzzled.
And whin Da Dawg is Puzzled, he goes off to axt Dadda Whut He Shuld Do Nestest.
Now, ob course, Dadda and Maman are alreddy asleep inna BedRoom onna' count obba Fakt dat it is Night.
But in order to axt Dadda ennyfing, Da Dawg hasta wake Dadda up, and 'splain Whut's Going On.
So Da Dawg sticks his Inquiring Nose innu Dadda's armpit, and den Dadda' wakes up, rilly alla-sudden way, and Makes Dis *BIG SURPRISED* kinda NOISE.
And I'm out heer, inna Bun Room, finkin' "Whutdaheck?"
So I *THUMP*...
...and heer comes Da Dawg, back frumma BedRoom innu da Bun Room, all hextcited, and he's axting, "Whutdaheckssamatta?"
And Dadda's all awake inna BedRoom going...
...nebber mind whut he's going onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman says HouseBunnies shouldn't know Those Werds.
But it makes me *THUMP*, again, which brings Da Dawg running back, and preddy soon, it kind ob gets a lot like a string ob computer commands, that We heer in Our Warren call the "'Lert Loop :
- IF Noise + George = *Thump*, Then
- George + *Thump* = Dawg, Then
- *Thump* + Dawg = Perplexity, Then
- Perplexity + Dawg = Dadda, Then
- Dadda + Dawg = Noise, Then
Wiffa end result that there issa Whole Wotta Noise going on, sum obbit in Bunny-thumps, and sum obbit in whut Maman calls Anglo-Saxon, anna Dawg ends up Outside habbin a Short Patrol obba BackGardin wedder he wants to or Not. Which preddy much stops the 'Lert Loop, but not bifore ebberybunny inna whole ob Our Warren is Wide Awake...
...Inna middle obba Night...
...so...ennyways... It is now preddy much Time for me to Hab Sum Hay and Habba Nap onna'count obba Fakt dat it is Day, Mr Mouse is Onna'Lert and I need to ged sum sleep...
----------------- By George