Now Playing: HOPPY BIRFDAY Dadda!
Hokay. Seeda header? Tiday is Our Dadda's Birfday! Yeah! Hooray! So Hoppy Birfday to Dadda!
Yeah, and just to sellybrate, we heer at Our Warren hadda habba "Incydint" (as Maman calls it).
Sure. You know us!
So Maman and Dadda was outta milk dis morning, which was bad cos Dadda hates dat powdered stuff in his tea and Maman isn't too pleased wiffit in her coffee, eidder.
So Dadda dragged on his jeens and put on his Harewear tee-shirt (http://harewear.tripod.com) and went toda store uppa road while Maman made tea and poured coffee.
So while she was waitin' for Dadda to ged back, Maman letta Dawg outta Back Door Innu Da Gardin and sed,
"Morning, Bunnies!" to us.
And she gibbed ebberybun a coupla Tiny Peeled Baby Organic Carrots for brekky.
And Mr Mouse was 'nnoyed onna'count obba Fakt dat he didn't get his Tiny Peeled Baby Organic Carrots furst. Dis is cos Maman gibbed Beebe-Bunny!! da furst helping of Tiny Peeled Baby Organic Carrots onna'count obba Fakt dat he is Old anna Senior Bun, and Not Feeling Well Onna'count Obba Fakt dat he has pseudo-sumfings up his nose...
So Mouse was alreddy inna Bad Mood and fings hadn't ebben got offa ground, yet.
And so, Maman goes on her feckless way, Uppastairs and opins da door and lets outta Catz frumma Office (which is also her Study). And Dadda comes back and Maman lets inna Dawg frumma Gardin where he's had his Morning Patrol (he says datta birdies are flocking up and mobbin' on).
And Dadda has brought doughnuts for Maman.
Now doughnuts are innerestin' inna wotta ways. Furst off, they smell good. Second off, Maman shares. Third off, she ushually doesn't share wiffa Catz onna count obba Fakt datshe says "alla dat shugar issn't good fora 40-pound Maine Coon kitty onna Diet."
And dis makes Cokie-da-Fat-Cat 'nnoyed, cos he doesn't ged enny while we ushally do.
Well, dis morning, we didn't ged enny doughnuts and nedder didda Cat.
So bemember, Mouse is 'nnoyed and now Cokie-Cat is 'nnoyed.
And heer comes da Dawg, who is gen'rally happy. And nuffin makes a 'nnoyed critter more 'nnoyed denna gen'rally happy, bouncy, sloppy, hi-glad-to-see-you-slobber-on-your-hed kind ob udder critter.
Can you smell da disaster?
So ennyways, Maman and Dadda each habba doughnut, and Maman gibs Da Dawg a Milk-Bone Dawg Biscuit for brekky, and dey all go Uppystairs. And I heer Dadda gib kibble toda Catz...
And nobun is geddin' enny doughnuts, you'll notice...
And den, for sum reason, Cokie anna Dawg come Downnastairs - and Da Dawg starts snarffling up alla Rabbit Chow Green Bag pellets dat MissyBun has dumped outta da habbytat obernite (Maman allus gibs us sum in case we gedda case obba munchies late inna evenin'. Udderwise, she ways, *I* wake hoomins up by *thumpin'*. But it's not *me* who *thumps*! Dat wuld be Missy, but Maman finks it's me, when it's not! *I* only *thump* when there's sumfing dang'rus inna Gardin outside. *I* do not *thump* onna' count obba Empty Pellet Dish!)
So ennyways, Da Dawg is snuffling along da floor, and Mouse is alreddy 'nnoyed and all, so he calls ober toda Cokie-Cat,
And Cokie is standing dere wike, "Whut? You call me, Bunnyrabbit?"
And Mouse is wike, "Yeah. Come on ober heer and seeda hay onna floor unner my habbytat."
So Cokie sort ob wanders ober, anna Dawg shuffles along, nose-toda-floor, and now, Mouse is reely 'nnoyed. So he lines up to pee onna Dawg, and don't you know, da Dawg moobs, anna Cokie-Cat moobs anna Cokie-Cat geds pee'd on!
Well, dat sort ob does it, so to speak.
Cokie stares at Mouse fora sekond and den he says a Rilly Bad Werd!
And den da Cat turns around, flips his tail, and goes shamblin' reely fast outta da Bun Room, fru da Kitchin anna alla way Uppastairs where I hear him start to complain loudly to Dadda!
Anna Dawg is wike, "Ooops. Well, um, see ya, Bunnies!" And off he goes Uppystairs, too.
So I kin hear da Cokie-Cat and he's complainin' Royal, as Dadda says. And Dadda's wike,
"Wookit, Cat, I dunno whut your problem is, but you got food, so shaddup."
And Maman is wike, "Whutsamatta wiffa Cat?"
And Dadda is wike, "I dunno butif he doesn't shut up, he's going to become extremely unpopular - as unpopular assa rattlesnake inna skippin' rope faktory."
And Maman waffs. Listenin' to Dadda ushually makes Maman waff, which is good in sum ways, but it can be bad in udders onna'count obba Fakt dat Maman can sometimes getta case obba giggles atta wrong time, inna wrong place, she says.
And dis wassa wrong time, becos Cokie kept on complainin'.
So finally I heered Maman call him ober to her, and just wike I figgered wuld happin, she suddinly squeeks,
"EWWWWW! Brian! No wonder Cokie's complaining! Sumbunny peed onna poor Cat's hed!"
And heer inna Bun Room Mr Mouse goes, "Heh!"
And den heer comes Dadda pounding Downnastairs, and he's got Cokie ober his shoulder and he's sayin' to him, "Don't be a prat all your life, Cocoa," (which is Cokie's Real Name) "We're just going to wash your hed..."
And Cokie is wailin' like, "Whaaaaaaaa! Whut did *I* do?!?!"
And, ob course, Maman is fluttering afta dem wike sum kinda bird-inna-bafrobe.
So we got treated to watchin' Maman and Dadda wash, towel-dry and brush da Cat-hed, while da Dawg hadda ged exiled toda Back Gardin, onna'count obba Fakt Dadda sed to him, "Comon, you're goin' outside becos you're just enjoyin' dis too much."
Anna Dawg found himself out inna Gardin goin' "Whuttaheck? Why am I out heer again?"
And as Dadda came past he stopped inna Bun Room and axt us, "And whut are You Buggers wookin' at?"
And we buggers didn't say a werd... cos it's Dadda's Birfday tiday, afta all...
---------------------- By George