Now Playing: Phone Buks?
Maman gabe us phone buks.
I'm not sure why, but I can tell you dis: Dere is no pleasing hoomins. ou can try all you wike, but no madder how hard you try, you can't please dem. Dey will allus find sumfing to complain aboud.
And dey talk aboud bunnies being picky! Lemme tell you...
But, ennyways, Maman gibbed us phone buks.
She gabe MissyBun and me a whole one, and then she took a second one and divided it in half and gabe half each to Beebe (and the Stuffie) and to Mouse.
So we're all looking at 'em like, "Whut's dis do?" onna'count obba Fakt that the phone buks are just sitting onna bottom ob our habbytats just doing nuffin.
And Maman says to us, "You play wiff'em."
So I nibble onna corner ob Missy's and my phone buk, and it's not especially tasty, and so I'm wike, "Hokay, so it's not rilly food. So whut does it do?"
And Maman is wike, "Alla bunnies onna PetBunny has dem. Now you do, too!"
And she is all Bright and Cheerful, wike dis is sum kinda Big Deal.
And Missy pushes our phone buk wif her nose and says, "I dunno. It takes up a whole wotta floor space!"
And dis is troo, onna'count obba Fakt datta phone buk is Big, and cuts down onna room Missy needs to lie down in, because she issa Big Beautiful Bunny Gurl ob Gen'rous Propor'shuns.
And ober in their habbytat, Beebe anna Stuffie are just staring at their halffa-phone buk wike dey're puzzled by da whole presence obba fing, and Beebe calls out softly, "Yo! Whutdaheck is dis supposed to do?"
And ober in his habbytat, Mouse is wike, "Beats me, but I don't wike it."
And he lunges at it, and dere's dis tearing sound anna page comes loose.
And dere's Mouse, skidding around inna middle ob his habbytat, wif his butt onna piece obba page frumma phone buk. And he calls ober, "Well, dis is kinda inner'resting!"
So dis takes up, wike da whole day dat we're sitting, wooking atta phone buks taking up space in our habbytats, and wondering whuttsamatta wif Maman dat she put dem dere.
Anna Cokie Fat-Cat comes by and axts us, "Howcome you gots phone buks? Gonna hab pizza delibbered?"
And Missy charges toda side obba habbytat and shouts, "Don't you just wish You hadda phone buk, Cat! But you don't! So dere!" And she does her sassy tail-twitch and starts up her "Rabbits rool! Cats drool!" cheer dat is gonna ged us innu sum kinda trubble wun ob dees days.
But dis time, Cokie just flipped his tail at her and left, onna'count obba Fakt datta Dawg was pushing him frum behind wif his nose, chanting "No cats inna Bun Room. No cats inna Bun Room. No cats inna Bun Room" ober and ober. Border Collies is wike dat. Per-sis-tent.
So Beebe and da rest ob us hadda Nap and den Maman waked us up to gib us Organic Cherry Tomatoes. And whin we didn't seem too enthusiastic aboudda Organic Cherry Tomatoes, she handed 'round sum Baby Organic Carrots, which was worf waking up for.
And Maman axted us, "Why aren't you playing wif your phone buks?"
And Missy is wike, "Show us whut dey do!"
And so Maman opins da phone buks for us.
Well, now each phone buk is now takin' up twice as much space as it did before, and Maman hasta moob our Hay Baskits so we still hab sum space to walk around in ('specially Missy and me, onna'count obba Fakt dat Missy issa Rilly Big, Beautiful Bunny Gurl ob Serriously Gen'rus Propor'shuns).
And Beebe anna Stuffie just habba sniff 'round dere phone buk and go back to napping. It's not rilly in dere way (cos dey are bof onna small side), and Beebe doesn't care, just so he hassa Stuffie to groom and grumble to, just wike it's Clover. Yestidday, Maman removed da sekond pootie pan frum Beebe's habbytat, so now Beebe finks he hasta share his pootie pan wiffa Stuffie, and he's not pleased dat he hasta share. Beebe nebber has shared ennyfing well, which is why he and Clover had two pootie pans inna furst place, so he's watching his pootie box carefully, just in case da Stuffie mite use it.
Life inna Warren is not uncomplicated.
So Maman camed back innu Da Bun Room again about tea-time and we all had a turn at Playtime inna BunPen onna Screen Porch onna'count obba Fakt dat it was nice outside in Joisey, and whin we got back to our habbytats, the phone buks was still dere.
So Mouse is wike, "Dis sucks!"
And he starts attacking.
And he's diggin' atta phone buk. And den he starts tearing atta paper pages, and crunching dem, and scrunching dem, and ripping dem up ALL OBER DA HABBYTAT! Dere are paper pages ebberywheres in Mouse's habbytat! And da whole place wooks, inna werds ob Dadda, "Wike a right rubbish tip."
Because Maman and Dadda camed in frumma Sitting Room drawn byda racket Mouse was making, to see Whutdaheck was going on inna Bun Room.
And Missy heared dem coming furst and she sed to Mouse, "Now you're gonna ged it. Wookit dat mess in your habbytat!"
And Mouse sed, "I don't care. I'm tired ob habbin' dis stoopit phone buk takin' up half my habbytat. Why'd Maman ebben put it in heer inna furst pwace?"
And whin Maman camed in she geds all hextcited and says, "Whut a Good Mousekiss! He's playing wif his phone buk! Isn't dat too cute?"
And we're wike, "Whutdaheck?"
And darned if she doesn't gib him a Baby Organic Carrot for making a Mess and a Racket!
So, ob course, dat only enourages him.
So now he's really goin' atta phone buk, tearing up paper pages and tossing dem alla'round da habbytat, and tossing toys, and banging innu stuff as he hauls dat fing up-an-down his habbytat.
And Maman says to Dadda, "Remember that phone Grace lost and kept getting a bill from?"
And Dadda sed, "The one she thought she lost down an airplane toilet on her way into the Hurricane Katrina Rescue?"
And Maman sed, "Yes. That one. She kept getting a bill from it. I'll bet she never lost it down the toilet at all. The Bunnies in The Herd stole it, and now they're having Mouse look up all the numbers they want for it."
"And by tomorrow morning, they'll be dialing furiously."
And Maman nodded. "Yup. Wait'll Grace gets that bill."
So den Maman and Dadda gabe us our salads, wif more Organic Cherry Tomatoes, and our Pellets, and sum Raisins. And while she was waiting forda Dawg to come in frum his Last Patrol, Maman reached innu our habbytat and ran her thumb along da pages in Missy and my phone buk.
"See guys?" She says.
Well, I didn't wike da sound and charged ober and nipped dose pages, and Maman says, "Dat's my Cutie Georgie-Boy!" and I'm sitting dere, wike, *glare*
And den she does it again!
And Missy's ears come forward, until dey almost touch togedder atta tip ob her nose.
And for sum reason, Maman and Dadda find dis hilarious, so dey do da page-wiffa-thumb-nail fing two or three MORE times, just to watch Missy ears moob forwards until dey almost touch togedder atta tip ob her nose.
And Maman says to Dadda, "Only Mouse seems to ged da hang ob playing wiffa phone buk. Da rest ob 'em don't seem to wike dem."
And Dadda sed, "Well, leeb da phone buks ober nite and see if dey are still dere inna morning."
And den dey sed, "Nite, Bunnies!" and shut offa Bun Room Light and went to bed.
And Mouse is dere, standing inna pile ob paper pages, wiffa remnants ob his salad alla'round, inna Dark, and he says, "Dey didn't ebben clean uppa mess! Well, dis sucks ebben more!"
And he starts diggin' again. And Mouse is diggin' and scrunchin' and tearing and ripping and pulling and tossing and bumping innu Hebbin only knows whut, onna'count obba Fakt dat it's preddy much wike Dark inna Bun Room, and ebberyfing is clanking togedder and rocking back-and-forf, making a Huge Racket.
And Dadda calls out frumma Bed Room downna Hallway, "Hey Mouse! Stop playing wif dat phone buk and go to bed!"
Dere is no pleasing hoomins.
----------------- By George