Now Playing: All Checked Up...Yeah!
Well, dey made it back.
Fruma Fifty-Thousand Mile Check-Up atta V-E-Ts - bof Catz anna Dawg, all in rellytibly Good Order, as Dadda would say.
And when dey finally got home, Da Dawg went right ourside innu da Back Gardin, and Cokie-da-Fat-Cat came to sit down wif us inna Bun Room, while Beep-da-Udder-Cat went Uppastairs to habba lie-down.
And Cokie sed ebberyfing went off hokay, hexcept...
Da Dawg isn't too bright, sumhow, you know? He's all enthusiastic aboud gedding his leash on, for one fing, so when Maman says,
"Sit, Marc. Sit!"
He does. And when she says,
He goes to stand wif his nose right by Maman's left knee. Nebber mind dat she gots da leash in her right hand, ob course, so dat it wraps itself around her legs or ennyfing.
It's just wike, as soon as he heers does werds, "Heel, Marc!" his whole mission-in-life is to get dat dawg-nose right uppa'gainst Maman's left knee and keep it dere.
So Maman gets herself untangled, puts her walkin'-stick inna right hand, anna leash in her left hand (which doesn't werk too well, onna'count obba Fakt dat her left hand issa wun wif alla os-stay-oh arthor-itis, anna new-rop-apthy stuff innit).
And off they go.
Followed by Dadda lugging one cat-carrier afta anudder, bof obb'em wif howlin' Catz inside.
"So dere I am, inna middle obba seat, " sed Cokie as he was sittin inna middle obba Bun Room floor afta dey had all gotten home. Since Da Dawg was outside, he figgered datta No Catz Inna Bun Room Rool didn't apply to him atta momint.
"Inna middle obba back seat wif Beep howlin' on one side ob me anna Stoopit Dawg onna udder. And Beep is howlin' 'Help! Help!' ebbery udder sekond, anna Stoopit Dawg is shiftin' frum foot-to-foot singin': 'Ridin' inna car! Ridin' inna car!' like it's sum kinda song.
"And dere's Dadda dribin' and talkin' to Maman aboudda 'Kids' and I'm finkin' to myself, 'You know, dis sucks. I'm stuffed innu dis tiny carrier, bouncin' around inna back seat obba stoopit Buick wif dis Idiot Beep on one side ob me yeowlin' 'Help! Help' ebbery udder sekond anna Stoopit Border Collie singin' 'Ridin' Inna Car! Ridin' Inna Car!' an' heer I am, goin' toda V-E-Ts for sum Fifty-Thousand Mile Check-Up I don't ebben need! Dis SUCKS!"
And den, " Continued Cokie. "Alla suddin, da car comes slidin' toa stop. And there goes my face, smooshed uppa'gainsta'front panel obba carrier! And Maman calls out,
'We're heer, ebberybunny!'
"And I'm finkin' to myself, 'Heer? Atta V-E-Ts'? Allreddy?
"And suddinly, da Stoopit Dawg, who has been singin' happily 'Ridin' Inna Car! Ridin' Inna Car!' suddinly barks out, 'We're atta V-E-Ts! Oh NO! Sumbunny help us! We're atta V-E-Ts! I smell V-E-Ts!'
"And I'm wike, 'So wheredaheck do you fink we've been goin' to?'
"Anna Dawg is wike, 'I dunno! I dunno! I was Ridin' Inna Car an' alla'suddin, we're Atta V-E-Ts! HELP!'
"Anna Dawg and I are habbin' to scream at each udder, becos Beep is still in her carrier nextest to me, goin' 'Help! Help!' ebbery udder sekond, anna Dawg and I are habbin' to yell to be herd ober her.
"And inna meantime, Dadda is geddin' outta da car, and Maman is strugglin' to ged herself untangled frum her pocketbook, and her walkin'-stick and alla her gen'ral stuff, an' now Da Dawg is rilly beginnin' to wail, yellin' for whoebber to come and sabe us.
"Like dat's gonna happin'.
"And Beep is still howlin' 'Help! Help!' at reg'lar innervals.
"Anna Dawg is justa'bout beside himself whinin', 'I smell V-E-Ts! I Smell V-E-Ts! Oh no! Oh no! OH NO! I SMELL V-E-Ts!'
"So Maman opins Da Dawg's door and tells him to 'Stay' - which means dat she wants him to not moob outta his seat inna car and make an hextcape, which, being a rellytibly tall Border Collie and Maman being a rellytibly short hoomin who can't run - issa distinct possybility. He could hextcape going toda V-E-Ts, but just becos Maman has told him to 'Stay', his One-Mission-In-Life is to do hextactly whut Maman tells him to do, which is to sit wif his backside glued toda car seat until she tells him it's hokay to moobit.
"Dis is why Dawgs are such idiots: dey do whutebber dey are told to do. It is why Dawgs will allus be inferior to Catz and it is disgusting.
"So den Maman grabs hold obba leash and tells Da Dawg, 'Comeby' and he geds outta da car and goes to sit wif his whole stoopit hed locked uppa'gainst her left knee.
"Den Beep gets hauled outta da car and den me.
"And den we see da V-E-Ts. And we getta see Doctor Batts, who I ged to see ebbery year and sumtimes if I am not feeling too good!
"But as toda Fifty Thousand-Mile Check-Up, let me tell you sumfing, BunnyRabbit, it sucks! It just sucks! Alla dat being crammed innu a carrier, habbin' to sit nextest to Beep yellin' for 'help' anna Dawg singin' an' den losin' whut's left ob his tiny mind - lemme tell you, it just sucks! It shouldn't happen to a cat and it shouldn't happen, especially to ME!
"But seeing Doctor Batts again, well, that wasn't too bad. Great guy, talks like Dadda, makes a fuss, doesn't mess me aboud too much, 'cept he has dis fetish aboud lookin' at cat-teefs - but aside frum alla dat stuff, it seems dat he likes catz. Which makes himpreddy hokay as far as hoomins goes.
"Butta Fifty-Thousan Mile Check-Up? Dat's a whole 'nudder bunny, BunnyRabbit! Anna story dat's better left to anudder time!"
And wif dat, Cokie got up offa Bun Room floor and paddled out.
And Alla Us Togedder watched him go.
And den MissyBun wooked at me, kinda thoughtful-wike and sed, "So, do we tell him dat ennybun habbin da name ob doctor issa V-E-T?"
Anna rest ob us wooked at each udder for a minit and den shaked our heads.
-------------------- By George