Now Playing: Werld-Wide Pellet Shortage?
You gotta hand it to Maman. She tries. She is rilly, rilly berry trying when she wants to be.
She come innu da Bun Room and announces:
"Dere issa Werld-Wide Shortage ob Pellets onna'count obba Fakt dat dere has been a breakdown obba pipeline frum Alaska."
And she gibs us all dees round willow baskits fulla timothy hay.
And I'm wike, Whutdaheck, it's food, I'm eating it.
So dat's preddy much dat.
Den she comes in later, and she takes out dat willow baskits, fills dem wif more timmy hay, puts dem back innu our habbytats, and says da same fing aboutta "Werld-Wide Shortage ob Pellets".
And so, MissyBun, who lubs her pellets, goes ober to wook in our Pellet Crock, and sure enough, it's empty!
So Missy turns around and wooks at me and axts me "Whuttaheck?"
And since I gots my mouf fulla hay, I tell her, "Werld-wide shortage ob Pellets. Didn't you hear Maman?"
And Missy is wike, "You gotta be kiddin' me!"
So she sticks her nose back innu da pellet crock and snorts and alla dust left ober frumma pellets flies alla'round her hed.
Den she comes ober to me, and sticks her nose in my face and it's all browny-green onna'count obba Fakt dat dere is pellet-bust all ober it.
And she says, "Hokay. Whut'cha gonna do abouddit?"
And I'm wike, "Um, hab sum hay?"
Which doesn't go ober too good wif Missy, onna'count obba Fakt dat she grabs her toy and tosses it innu da Pellet Crock. Den she goes to sit onna pootie-box and habba Fink, wearing her Disapproving Rabbit face.
So it's getting to be Dark, and Maman and Dadda let ebbery bun habba widdle playtime out onna Screen Porch inna BunPen (which was nice, 'cept Da Dawg also hadda hab his Evening Bark wif alla'udder dawgs inna neighbourhood, which was annoying!) and Beebe gots brushed and had his face washed wiffa moist flannel, which he wiked because he misses being groomed by his CloverBunny anna stuffie-bunny dat Maman gibbed him to sleep wif doesn't do much obba job on grooming (although it seems to eat hay and it moobs around a widdle whin Maman strokes its ears. Very weird.).
So here we are in Our Habbytats, and it's Dark, and Maman takes out da willow baskits and puts dem back in fulla timothy hay and dis time dere are rose petals, some dill leebs, and mint leebs, and sum parsley leebs all skattered ober da hay!
And I'm wike, WHOA! And I dive rite in.
And Dadda comes by and he says,
"Hey, what's up with you, Bug-a-Lugs?" to Missy, which makes her annoyed, so she gibs him wunna her glares. And Dadda says, "You're getting to be a fat cow, aren't you?"
Now Dadda says dis to her inna nicest possibly way, and he smiles and pets her, but she just grumps and goes to sulk on her pootie box, which makes him laugh. (Keep in mind dat dis issa man who wears Harewear tee-shirts to visit summa his customers!)
Now I'm sitting between da side obba Habbytat and da willow baskit, and Missy is onna udder side obba baskit, wif da most obba Our Habbytat behind her. So she toddles ober toda hay-baskit, hassa wook innit and hassa rose petal.
And while she's sampling da rose petal, a Cat wanders unnerneaf obba Habbytat.
Well, dat preddy much figgers, because Da Dawg is outside On Patrol as Dadda calls it, and dat just means that he isn't heer to make sure dat dere are No Catz Inna Bun Room. So da Catz are taking Advantage, as usual.
And dis is Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, who takes Advantage ob Ebberyfing dat's going onna'count obba Fakt dat he says He Issa Furst Cat (whutebber dat means!).
And Cokie says to Missy, "Guess whut, Bug-a-Lugs?"
And Missy says, "Don't call me dat."
So Cokie says it again and wabes his tail just past da bottom obba habbytat where Missy can't get it.
Den Cokie says, "Guess whut, Bug-a-Lugs? Dere is no Werld-Wide Shortage ob Pellets. Maman just made dat up. Dat troo Fakt is dat you are FAT - good in Catz wike me, bad in bunnies wike you - and Maman and Dadda are concerned abouddit. And you know whut happins whin dey are concerned aboud sumfing - dey go off and Do Sumfing Abouddit, which in dis case means dat Bunnies Hab To Eat More Hay And Less Pellets."
And Missy is wike, "Whut?"
Anna Cat says, "Dere is no Werld-Wide Pellet Shortage, Bug-a-Lugs. Dere issa Whole Fifty-Pound Bag ob Green Bag inna car. I herd Dadda tawkin' to Phil."
And Missy is wike puffing out to almost twice her size in fur and she glares down atta Cokie-Cat and says, "WHUT?"
And Cokie says, "Clean out your ears, BunnyRabbit: Dere is no Werld-Wide Pellet Shortage. You hab bin had."
So Missy starts stomping around inna Habbytat and she's not inna good mood about dis at all.
So I'm still ober heer, between da side obba Habbytat anna willow baskit, and I'm eating hay wif alla herbs and stuff innit, and not saying ennyfing, because I hab preddy much growed to become a Fairly 'Tellygint rabbit.
And Maman and Dadda lets inna Dawg, who chases da Kitty-Cat right Uppastairs, onna'count obba Fakt dat dere are No Catz Inna Bun Room! And den Maman and Dadda says "'Nite Bunnies!" and dey turn offa Bun Room Light, and shuffle off to bed.
So dat's preddy much dat.
Missy is still mad.
So I'm munching hay, and she marches up to da willow baskit and gibs it a shub wif her hed, which kinda pushes da whole issue innu my face.
And she's wike, "Well?"
So I shake my hed clear obba hay, and push da baskit back to clear myself a widdle room, and I'm wike,
And she gibs da baskit anudder shub, and here I am wif my face buried again.
And she's wike, "So whutareya gonna DO abouddit?"
So I getta hay outta my nose and ears, and shub da baskit back at her. Because, you know, whut can I do aboud ennyfing? I'm a rabbit enjoying my evening hay. I mean, whuttaheck is going on here?
And Missy grabs da baskit in her teefies, piks it up and starts tippin' it. So I grab da udder side, and preddy soon, we're kind ob staggaring around inna Habbytat, wif dis baskit fulla hay between us, wif her jerkin' it wun way and me jerkin' it da udder. And I'm ober heer, fallin' ober play toys, and balls wif bells inn'em, and she's ober dere, wif most obba room, and she's just aboud wrecking da place wif her back end by careening innu crocks and stuff.
And den I heer Da Dawg come innu da Bun Room, along wif Maman and Dadda in dere baf-robes and slippers.
And I'm finking, "Geez! Dis is all I need!"
When suddinly, da baskit flips up innu da air, and alla hay, anna herbs and ebberfing, falls out.
And dere I am, wiffa Willow Baskit On My HED!
So I back out rilly fast, and ob course, onna'count obba Fakt dat I gots no room, because I'm backed innu a corner obba Habbytat, I bang my butt innu da side obba Habbytat, anna baskit filps up inna air again, and lands right-side up onna wadder crock!
Well, da Wadder Crock was Full.
Whin da baskit landed onnit, it sorta emptied out on Missy and me.
Well, dat just sorta Putta Carrot Onna Salad for Missy. She grabbed her toy outta da empty Pellet Crock, wound up her hed, and slam-dunked dat toy rite innu da baskit.
It's a kinda big toy. Gots sum weight to it frum alla bells innit. Ennyways, it landed rite inna middle obba baskit and a lotta wadder comed out frum unner'neaf obba crock, sumhow, and we got wetted again.
And you know whut?
Maman and Dadda went and got kitchen roll and dried us all off and made a big fuss ob Missy, telling her whut a special bunny she was, and how she was just so cute whin she throwed her toy, and so 'dorable and such a 'mazing bunnychild and stuff wike dat.
And den Maman filled dat stoopit pellet bowl!
Well, you know, I like to have pitched a fit, but Missy had alreddy done it.
And den Maman gibbed each wun ob us a Raisin and sed, "I dunno why I reward you guys for bad behaviour."
And I'm finkin', "Guys? Whut guys? Dere were no guys, just Missy habbin' a fit ober da Werld-Wide Pellet Shortage dat don't exist. And, you're da wun who started it! 'Werld-Wide Pellet Shortage', indeed!"
----------------- By George