George's Sixth Strand: Day Number 30
Now Playing: Pollyticks!
So the
flood wadders are receeding, the
Pond In the Back Gardin is getting smaller and Maman says we heer at
Our Warren hab dodged anudder “bullit”.
All we need now, Maman says, if for
Our Phil's new company www.CustomByGeek.com (just type dat innu your browser onna'count obba Fakt dat we can't seem to ged Tripod to insert a
link to it
heer - and den order a CustomByGeek computer, hokay? Fanks.) to get growing and for
Our Sistah Beffy to ged married before she hassa Kit, and for Maman to sell “dis (_
insert-bad-werd-heer_) buk and den anudder wun so dere’s nun ob dis talk aboudda ‘Wun-Hit-Wunder’ biznizz ebber again.” – whutebber
dat means. Wif Our Maman, you nebber
know.

And so dis morning,
Beep-the-Udder-Cat came Downnastairs and told us dat Maman was fretting again.
“She was talking ‘Pollyticks’ wif
Dadda.” Beep sed. “Sumfing aboudda ‘Buy-Lekshuns’ in Inkwand and how da
Stoopit Conserbatib Pawtee should just stop acting like a bunch ob Constipated Owd Wimmins, and ‘lect someone who is not a impotent compromise candidate to stand for Da ‘Lekshun. She sed dey shuld just
Go Bold, Go Boris and 'leckt sum guy named
Boris Johnson and ged it ober wif .”
And I axted Beep, “And dat effects us, how?”
And Beep sed, “Dunno. I nebber herd ob dis guy ‘til now. But Maman wikes him and Dadda seems to fink he’s hokay, too. Seems dis guy sed dat sum guy named
Tony Blair is gonna hab to be winkled outta sumplace called ‘Number 10’ wiffa flamethrower, which doesn’t sound too good for him, but you know how it is wif Pollyticks.”
And I sed I didn’t but I didn’t rilly care to find out. Bunnies don’t go in for dat "Pollyticks" stuff too much onna'count obba Fakt dat dere is no "pollyticks" going on heer. Much.
Howebber, ennyfing dat effeks Maman ends up effecting
Alla Us Togedder heer at
Our Warren wun way or anudder.
So byda time Maman and Dadda comed Downnastairs, dey was talking
flood control and Maman sed dat sum
Gubbernor was gonna build a LeeVee onna
Delaware River and dat
ebberyfing was just "Pollyticks" ennyways, wun way or anudder.
And dat’s when Dadda sed he was gonna build sumfing to stop us frum habbing
Our Pond Inna Back Gardin.
And right away, MissyBun raises her ears and is wike, “Whut?”

And Dadda says, “Well, furst, I hire a digger frum ‘Home Depot’…”

And right away, I get this “
uh oh” sort of feeling dat I get whenebber sumbun mentions “Home Depot”.
This is mainly onna’count obba Fakt dat “Home Depot” issa place where Dadda and Phil go when they are planning to do sumfing rilly
BIG, dat dey usually say will be “
No Problem” dat ends up being a whole wot more
Trubble den it is worf. Dis is also da place where Maman is no longer allowed to go onna’count obba Fakt dat all she does is confoozle alla peoples around her.
Our Belinda Bunny ebben blogged aboud Maman going to Home Depot, it got so bad. So Maman doesn’t go dere
ennymore unless Dadda or Phil goes wif her to keep da confoozlemint to a bare minnymum.
So “Home Depot” is notta werd we take lightly heer at
Our Warren. It is worse den “Pollyticks.”
So Dadda says to Maman dat he needs to go to Home Depot to “rent a digger to dig a trench inna Back Gardin, and then put stones into the bottom of the trench, cover the stones with Architect’s Cloth, then cover
that with dirt, and cover the whole trench with
top soil and
pooties then
grass-seed. Of course, this will be after we install the
Noo Fence.”
And Maman is standing there inna Kitchin wearing her “Whuttaheck?” look on her face.
And she says, “Whut
Noo Fence? That comes
bifor the drain to carry off the excess
flood water?”
And Dadda axts her, “Weren’t you listening?”
And Maman says, “I must hab missed sumfing. Start at the beginning and go ‘round again so I can try to grab on.” (Which is her way ob saying “
Pull da udder wun, Sweetie…” Whin she is wookin’ ober the top ob her glasses, dis is
not da time to mess wif Maman.)
So Dadda, ignoring all signs ob danger, plunges in again. Our Dadda issa Brave Man (which is why he married Maman inna Furst Place. Nobun takes on
Our Warren lightly, mind you.)
And Dadda says, “Furst we get the
Noo Fence that you and I agreed on. If you want, it can be just at the Back of the
Gardin.”
And Maman innerrupts wif her famous, “Why?”
And Dadda, who didn’t see dat coming axts, “Why, whut?”
“Why do we get the
Noo Fence, furst?” axts Maman patiently. “Why not just start digging the trench?”
And Dadda says, “Onna’count obba Fakt dat we need to ‘stablish the property line wiffa fence so we don’t go digging inna wrong place.”
And Maman says, “But isn’t the
Old Fence onna property line?”
And Dadda says, “Hanged if I know. Your Father had that fence put up in 1954. It was your
Father we’re talking about here. Heaven knows if he looked for the property line back then.”
And Maman nodded. “He probably had no clue. Hokay, so you wanna know whereda
Property Line is.”
Somehow, Maman can gib a fing
Conversational Italics wiffoud trying. So now it wassa fing:
Da Property Line instead ob justa “property line”.
And she sed, “I gotta survey ob
Da Property Uppastairs inna files somewheres.”
And Dadda sed, “Dear, we don’t need an Archeological Excavation. Getting the
Noo Fence along the back will do. And it will provide a solid base against which to fix the back wall obba
Trench.”
And Maman wooked ober her glasses again and sed, “Whut?”
And Dadda sed, “A solid base against which to fix the back wall obba
Trench.”
Dadda is also no mean hand at gibbin proper names to fings.
And Maman sed, “Whut ‘
Trench’?”
And Dadda sed, “The
Trench that has to be dug to be filled with stones, covered in earth, and becomes
The Drain for
The Gardin so we don’t have
floods. “
And Maman narrowed up her eyes and axted him, “Are you losing your temper? Because if you’re losing your temper we’re not having this conversation and I’m going to go pet bunnies.”
And Dadda sed, “I am
Not losing my temper!” And den he sed it again, in a calmer voice, “I am not losing my temper. I’m just saying that we need to have the
Noo Fence put in
before we rent the minature JCB from Home Depot to dig the trench to make the Drain to keep the
Back Gardin from
flooding - and possibly leaking innu
Da Basement.”
And Maman, who is by now halfway innu da
Bun Room, stops and turns around and wooks at Dadda.
“Who sed ennyfing aboudda ‘
Basement'?” She axted.
And Dadda sed, “Well, dat’s da
Logical Conclusion isn’t it? If we hab some very heavy rains, and
Da Pond gets too big, it will
flood innu
Da Basement. Which is why we need to dig
Da Trench as soon as possible,
before there’s anudder
Flood.”
And Maman didn’t say ennyfing for a minit. She just carried on innu da
Bun Room and stuck her hed innu
Mouse’s habbytat and sed,
“How’s my, Mouscus?”

And Mouse growled, “Watchit, Wady.”
So Maman petted him and called him “Soft”, which he hates, becos Mouse believes dat he issa Berry Large, Imposing Rabbit ob Diggity and Respect. Ob course dis is berry hard to maintain whin you are, in
reality a small, non-threatening, three-pound Netherlands Dwarf bunny, but you hab to gib Mouse points for trying.
And den Maman pulled her hed outta Mouse's Habbytat, and wooked at Dadda and sed,
“So lemme get this straight: we needa
Noo Fence and
then we need to rent a digger to dig a trench, which we will
then fill with stones, which will
then be covered – in succession – with some kind of special cloth to keep dirt out, dirt, top-soil, pooties, and grass-seed, which will
then but an end to the
Pond In the Back Gardin. Am I right?”
And Dadda sed, “More or less.”
And Maman walked outta da
Bun Room and fru da
Kitchin, past Dadda, and sed,
“Inna werds ob George-Bunny…
’Whoa!’”

-----------------------By George
Posted by Our Warren
at 11:07 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, 30 June 2006 2:18 PM EDT