Now Playing: Nuffin' Going On 'Round Heer
Rabbits do not grow old, they just grow ‘Tellygint.
This is whut me,Hunny told me a long time ago, when he wassa Top Bun and I wassa berry small Youngbun who was Newly Arrived at Our Warren.
And ebber since he telled me dis I have deddykated my whole life to growing ’Tellygint so that I can someday become like me,Hunny, who wassa Most ‘Tellygint Housebunny I Hab Ebber Knowed.
So da Udder Day, Mr Mouse waked uppa Whole Houz by *THUMPING* rilly LOUD.
Now I hab to ’Splain sumfing to you:
All bunnies can *THUMP* and they usually do it to warn udder bunnies dat dere is Danger.
And usually da bigger da bunny, da bigger da bunny feets and da LOUDER da bunny can *Thump*.
Now if dis was Entirely Troo, I, George, would be da Loudest Boy-Bun Thumper Inna Warren. Onna’count obba Fakt dat I amma biggest Boy-Bunny in Our Warren and hab da Biggest Bunny Feets.
I lib inna same habbytat wif MissyBun Hawpa, a Gurl-bun ob Genny’rous Proporshuns. (In udder words, One BIG Bunny-Gurl! Yeah!) And whin dis chick is lying down, she can soak uppa lotta vibrations, which kinda puts a damper on my Thumper LOUDNESS Faktor.
And Beebe-Bunny!! libs wif Ms Clover (formerly ob Da Herd) who is also a Gurl-bun ob Genny-rous Proporshuns (or anudder one ob those BIG Bunny-Gurls! Lemme tell you!) Which also puts a damper on Beebe’s Thumper LOUDNESS Faktor, onna’count obba Fakt dat her reclining inna same habbytat as him soaks uppa lotta Thump-vibrations.
Soda upshot ob alla dis issat neither Beebe-Bunny!! nor I (George) can *THUMP* as Loudly as we rilly can onna’count obba Fakt dat we hab Natchural Handycaps inna persons ob our Wifebunnies.
In Fakt if my Missus, MissyBun or Ms Clover takes it innu dere heds to *THUMP*, then Beebe and I end up flying up-inna-air frumma sheer force obba Thumps.
Cos bof Missy and Clover hab paddle-feets and when they slam those paddlefeets down, you’ll see eidder Beebe or me go sialing up-inna-air and den come down wiffa *bang* - which is NO FUN!, lemme tell you!
But Mr Mouse issa Bachelor Bunny and libs on his own in his Berry Own Habbytat inna Bun Room.
Here issa pikchur ob his habbytat when the Bun Room was Noo and we had just Moobed In, before there were enny toys or Fings. And dis udder pikchur is ob Our Habbytats also when They Were Noo before we got alla our crocks, wadder bowls, Toys and Fings like we hab Now. (Maman says dat we hab far too menny Fings and dat we rilly need to do a “Clean Out” one ob dees days. But she is allus saying dat.)
But because Mr Mouse lives in His Own Habbytat, dere is no udder bunny to soak up enny ob his *THUMP*-vibrayshuns. So when he *Thumps*, he can *THUMP!* and make it Stick.
Which is how he can wake uppa Whole Houz like he did da Udder Day.
So it was wike about Sbben O’Clock, and Mr Mouse is wike, “Where are dey?”
And I’m wike, “Where’s who?”
And Mr Mouse is wike, “Maman and Dadda. Dey are usually awake and outta da BedRoom by now.”
And da Sun is shining in through the Our Warren Memorial Window and MissyBun and I are habbing some hay left ober frum Last Nite, and I’m thinking to myself dat Mr Mouse is right – Maman and Dadda shuld be awake and feeding us by now.
And frum Uppastairs inna Study, I can hear Da Catz protesting dat da Door is shut and dat dey want to come down and go out onna Screen Porch, which is where they usually go inna Morning so dat dey can watch da Birds and pretend dat dey are Fierce, Wild, Hungree Catz instead obba Couple ob Lazy, Couch-potato, Hungree Catz.
And I realised dat Da Dawg was missing.
So I sed to Mouse, “Whut’s happened to Da Dawg?”
And Mouse sed, “I dunno, but da Sun is shining and dere’s Nuffin Going On Around Heer and dere Shuld Be.”
And MissyBun is wike, “So whuttaheck are you gonna do aboudda'Fakt dat dere isNuffin Going On?”
And Clover is wike, “Well, whutebber you do abouddit, make shure dat we ged sum treats outta it. I’ve had just aboud alla hay and pellets dat I kin take for One Morning.”
And she snorted which is Clover’s way ob saying dat she’s getting ‘nnoyed wif fings. And since Clover is at least half Inkwish Spot it issn’t wise to let her get too ‘nnoyed wif fings.
So Mouse settles himself down inna corner ob his habbytat and says, “Watch dis.”
And he lets go wif a good, solid *THUMP* that rattles his wadder crock and toys and ebberyfing.
And den he lets go wif anudder.
And we can hear Da Dawg inna Bed Room and he’s wike, “Whuttaheck?”
So Mouse lets go wiffa’nudder *THUMP* that preddy much rattles da Our Warren Memorial Winder.
And den I hear Maman’s voice and she’s wike, “Brian! Brian! Wake up! There’s something the matter with the bunnies!”
And Mouse gibs an’udder, rilly good *THUMP!*
And Missy is wike, “Ouick! Ebberybun lie down! Stretch out dose feets!”
So Clover and Missy lie down and stretch out, and Beebe runs ober toda pellet-crock and grabs a mouf-full ob pellets and starts chewing. And I grab a strand ob hay and start chewing on dat.
And Mr Mouse gibs one more, habbytat-rattling *THUMP* and settles down.
And here comes Maman wif her slippers flapping, and she's pulling on her bafrobe, and her hair's all ober da place. Anna Dawg is bouncing along b’side her, getting in her way, and Dadda’s coming along behind her in his bare feets, pulling on his bloo bafrobe and trying to get it tied as he goes.
Anna Dawg bounces innu da Bun Room and starts snuffling at our Habbytats and Maman follows in afta him and starts yelling at him to “Stop it, Marc!” atta same time as Dadda’s trying to getta look in and axting us, “Whuttsamatta, bunnies?”
So Maman goes right on through Da Bun Room, opins da Door Toda Back Gardin and pushes Da Dawg outta Door. Den she turns and wooks at us. And Dadda is standing inna doorway, wooking at us.
And Dadda says, “Whuttaheck issa matter wif you bunnies?”
And Missy is lounging and Clover is lounging; and Beebe and I are eating and Mr Mouse is just sitting there with his ears pointed forward.
And Maman is like, “There’s nothing going on!”
And Dadda comes and looks at Alla Us Togedder one-atta-time, and he axts,
“All right. Who was *Thumping*?”
Like we’re going to jump right up and answer that one.
And Dadda says to Maman, “Everybun looks all right. Nobun looks sick or in any kind of distress. Look at Missy.”
“She couldn’t be more relaxed.” Says Maman. “Look at Clover.”
And Clover waggles her ears and looks meaningfully at her treat-bowl.
“She just wants raisins.” Says Dadda.
“She always wants raisins.” Says Maman. “But she wasn’t the one who *thumped*. If Clover *thumps*, Beebe ends up in a heap, and he’s standing over there, eating pellets like nothing’s happened.”
And Beebe looks up wif his mouf full and says, “Yo?”
“And it wasn’t George or Missy who *thumped,*” says Dadda. “So that leaves Mouse.”
And Mouse just sits there and looks Dadda right inna eyeball.
And Maman just throws up her hands and walks fru da Bun Room innu da Kitchin and she says as she’s going fru,
“I don’t get it. What was all the *thumping* about? It’s seven o’clock in the morning and there’s nothing wrong. I just don’t get it!”
But we do.
It’s sebben o’clock inna morning and dere's Nuffin' Going On 'Round Heer!
---------------------------- By George