The Hay Diaries

Thursday, 15 June 2006

George's Sixth Stand; Day Number 15
Now Playing: Cracker Box Palace - George Harrison

Well...

Missy and I hadda turn inna Bun Pen onna Screen Porch yestidday!

Maman wassa One who seed da Bun Pen inna catty-log and den ordered it for us, and although it took a coupla days to ged here, all I can say issat it is Preddy Nice! Yeah!

It's really nuffin' dat you could call Noo. It's justa Pen, made outta da same sorta stuff as our habbytats atta Old House, but alla the square panels innit hab Hinges so that the shape ob it can be changed frumma Square, to a Rektangle, to a Hexygon (which is a Cirkul wif elbows). And it is "Portable" which means dat it can be folded up and taked frumma Screen Porch to Sumewhere Else if Maman and Dadda feel like mooving it or sumfing.

But one fing dat dis Bun Pen doesn't hab issa Door - but I will tell you more aboud Dis Problem later on! Because it issa Problem ob Sum Signiffygance.

Ennyways, Maman has set uppa Bun Pen onna Screen Porch where there are NO:
Preddytors
Insekts
Rain or
hoomins Maman doesn't like or trust

We Bunnies are totally SAFE when enny member ob Our Warren is out inna Pen Onna Screen Porch, or "POSP", as we like to say amongst ourselves.

Da Dawg does tend to come by da Bun Pen a lot, and sit out dere onna Screen Porch wif us. He sits right dere unnerneaf obba dinner table and watches ober da whole Back Gardin, most obba Frunt Gardin, sum obba Sidewalk, anna good slice obba Street onna'count obba fakt, he says, dat he owns ALL obbit.

He says dat it is his dooty to sit dere, and watch ebberyfing and den Bark, rilly loud, if ennybunny ebben touches enny pawts ob whut he sees as being his. And by ennybunny, he means hoomins walking by, dawgs - ebben if they are on leashes - enny catz, squirrells, birds - ennybunny who isn't us.

Dis means dat he does quite a bit ob barking, ob which Maman does not approve. And he gets yelled at. A Lot. Mostly by Dadda, but dat's because Maman has just gibben up, as she says.

And den we do hab da odd cat or two wandering fru. Ob course "odd" and "cat" go togedder in dis Houz, so it seems like using one werd to describe da udder wun is redundant...

But dere you are.

Cokie-da-Fat-Cat comes out onna Screen Porch mainly to catch da aftanoon breezes and to read da Noos onna wind. Beep-da-Udder-Cat comes out all fru da Day, closely followed by her pal, da Dawg. Mostly, Beep-da-Udder-Cat is just coming out to Look - and she tends to watch ebberyfing, so dat ebben watching a leaf falling past issa 'Vent for her. Whin da Wind Chimes start clanging togedder inna breeze, she's just hextstatik.

Maman says Beep issa Simple Cat; it doesn't take much to entertain her.

But none ob dem are allowed to come innu da Bun PenOnly bunnies can be innit.

Maman has put in a tall, plastic Rabbit Dat Has No Smell to be inna Pen wif us. It is sort of light brown coloured, and it has brown eyes. Years ago, it usta sit inna middle obba group ob Rabbits Dat Hab No Smell and Belinda Bunny usta go up to it, knock it ober and den sit where it was sitting, wike she hadda knock ober da biggest rabbit ob alla dem bifore she could sit wiffa Group Ob Rabbits Dat Had No Smell.

Now da same Rabbit Dat Has No Smell is sitting in Our Bun Pen. So Beebe and den I hab bin knocking it ober, like Belinda. Mouse just goes up to it and chins it, but Beebe and I hab to knock it ober, like Belinda. Missy and Clover just ignore it.

And Maman sits dere in her liddle rocking chair and axts questions, like, "Why do sum bunnies feel dat dey must knock ober dat Rabbit Dat Has No Smell?"

Yeah. Like we're gonna tell her. Well, then, Maman is known for axting Questions Involving Speculation and Discussion.

But dere is no use in discussing wedder or not da Pen Onna Screen Porch or POSP, hassa DOOR, because it doesn't. Dere is NO DOOR!

When Dadda piks us up, outta our Habbytats to take us toda POSP, he hasta step ober da side obba Pen to set us down on our feets inside ob it. Dis is far frum easy for him as da Pen is preddy high and Dadda hasta lift his leg preddy high to ged himself inside obbit. Stepping ober hurdles at his age isn't hextactly his strongest-point ennymore.

So, being da kind ob bunny dat I am, I thought I could help him out wif habbin to step ober da side obba Pen to set us down inside obbit, you know? Whut we need in dat Pen issa door so dat Maman and Dadda could get in-and-outta da Pen more easily - because if they can get in-and-out more easily (or ebben bedder, if we bunnies could get in-and-out on our own!) we could get more playtime!

And then I could be out, POSPing inna morning, wif Beep-da-Udder-Cat, sorta watching sum leaves fly past, or watching to tell da Dawg if enny birds or ennyfing landed on his sidewalk, and den I could go inside to da habbytat I share wif MissyBun and get sum hay and habba nap or sumfing, and den go out POSPing again later on inna aftanoon. All on my own, wiffout habbin to bodder enny hoomins! Dat's IF dere wassa DOOR onna Pen.

But there currently IS NO Door!

Which I figgered must be sum kinda obersight or sumfing.

So I sat down and hadda Fink.

And I suddenly realised datta Pen was made just like da habbytat I usta lib in atta Old Houz!

And when I libbed in dat place, it didn't habba door for me to get through to go see MissyBun, eidder. So, insted ob complaining to Dadda aboudda lack obba door, I made one ob my own. I ebben made up a song to sing while I was making it, which made da werk involved go dat much more easily.

So I thought to myself, "George, Dadda has enuf to do wiffout habbin to pik you bunnies up alla time whin you wanna be outside onna Screen Porch inna Bun Pen. Whut you need issa DOOR! So you can help Dadda here by making your own door!"

So I made a Noo Door Song:

I'm....
Chewin' a hole
Chewin' a hole
Chewin' a hole
To help Da-da!

I'm...
Chewin' a hole
Chewin' a hole
Chewin' a hole
Inna Bun Pen!

And I just was getting started on making Da Door Inna Bun Pen this morning, whin alla suddin, Maman grabbed me frum behind and hoisted me up offa my feets and started Force Petting me.

And I'm like, "Hey! Put me down!"

And she's like, "George! You're SUCH A cutie-pie little boy! I'm going to kiss your nosey!"

And I'm like, "Well, yeah, go on, ged it ober wif."

And she kisses my nose, and squooshes my cheeks and gibs me all kinds of cheek-rubs and ear-massages, and nose-bonks, and I'm like lapping dat stuff up because it's nice to be loved, and den she sets me down on my feets again and just as she turns around to go back innu da Kitchin, fru da Bun Room, she says to me,

"Now don't you go doing enny ob dat chewing, Georgie-Good-Boy."

And I'm like, "Hey, Whutdaheck? I'm doing alla dat for Dadda!"

And she adds, "If you chew on dat noo Bun Pen, you and your Dadda's going to be having Werds."

So now I dunno whut to do. I certainly don't wanna hab enny Werds wif Dadda! But atta same time, I can't imagine who wouldn't wanna habba free, custom-chewed DOOR...

-------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 3:25 PM EDT

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Wednesday, 14 June 2006

George's Sixth Strand; Day Number 14
Now Playing: Hoppy Flag Day!

Yeah!

Ebberybunny sellybrate onna'count ob it being Flag Day!

We heer in Our Warren are not usually political - well no more than udder bunnies - but we do support Our Service Peoples no madder who they is or was or where they happins to be!

For hextample, we supports Our Phil-da-Lad, SA's Auntie Patricia and The Flock's Unkul Bernie who are ALL THREE ~*~*Navy*~*~ veterans! And we supports Sheeba's Unkle Peter who was inna ~*~*Air Force*~*~ and we espeshully supports The Herd's Auntie Grace anna Speshul Bunny-Guy Sgt. Matt, who keep da ~*~*Army*~*~ rollin' along!

And we supports Da Florida Contingent's Unkul Roberto and Chester's Auntie Sue alla rest obba veterans who were "there"! In fakt, we supports alla peoples dat Maman has told us about, who were inna Army, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, National Guard and most 'speshully da Navy - ebberybun who went away frum home wif dis Flag flying ober dem.

Maman telled us about how Our Bim went down whin he heared aboutta'Tack On Pearl Harbour, and wif his bestest friends tried to Enlist inna Army Flying Service. Maman sed dat her Dadda was no older den Our Phil back den, and preddy much just as stoopit onna'count ob being young. He had just gotted innu unnyversity atta place called "Dook" and so udder hoomins thought he was older den he rilly was (which was too young to go "Enlisting" in ennyfing).

So he went to "Enlist," and he and his three friends (just wike Phil anna Rent-A-Teens) went togedder and tried to Enlist inna Army Flying Corps, but they was all turned down for one reason or anudder. Bim gotted turned down onna'count obba fakt dat he had "flat feets," (which I suppose issa bad fing if you are not a bunny).

So Our Bim and his friends were standing around all dejected onna street corner, and dis Navy Chief beckoned to them frum acrosst da street.

Anna Navy Chief sed to Bim and His Friends: "You guys wook wike you've just lost your last friend inna werld. Whuttaheck happined? You get tossed out byda Army or sumfing?"

And Our Bim sed, "We went toda Army Flying Corps to enlist, but they turned us down."

Anna Navy Chief nodded, and opined the door to his liddle office and sed, "Well you guys come right on in heer. The Navy doesn't let anyone down!"

And Our Bim and his friends went innu da liddle office wiffa Chief and they all signed up forda Navy.

And then Our Bim went home, and his Mother (who was Maman's Granny) sed, "Where hab you bin, Willow?" (Which is whut she called Our Bim).

And Our Bim sed, "I signed up forda Navy."

And his Mother, who was his Mawmie and Our Maman's Granny, didn't say ennyfing at furst - which wassa RILLY BAD sign! (And dis is sumfing Our Maman has piked up frum her) - and den Our Maman's Granny called her husbun, who was Bim's Fadder and Our Maman's Granddaddy, and she called her Housekeeper, who was Annie Hamilton, and she called Annie Hamilton's husbun. And Maman's Granny told Annie Hamilton's husbun to dribe Maman's Granddaddy (he wassa clergyman) down to dat Navy Chief's Office and TELL him dat Bim was too young to be 'listed and to ged him off dat Enlisted Buk RIGHT AWAY!

And den she told Annie Hamilton to gedda houz reddy cos there was gonna be tea wiffa Admiral's wife. And Annie Hamilton agreed wif Our Maman's Granny (and dat in itself, was preddy skerry, Our Bim sed!) and sed dat she didn't hold wif Our Bim going around finking he was old enuf to go geddin' himself Enlisted wifout consulting ennybun, and den she wint off to "speak" to da udder housekeepers in Newport.

And den ALLA guys, inklooding Our Bim, were suddinly inna Whole Werld Ob Trubble, most obbit caused by Wimmin finding Out Fings (which also happins heer at Our Warren).

But it didn't make enny dif'frunce.

Cos alla guys had signed papers forda U.S. Navy and they were innit and that was preddy much, that. Even Enraged Mawmies, Admiral's Wifes and Scots Housekeepers can't force the U.S. Navy to back down once they've decided on sumfing. Even the fakt that Our Bim was underage didn't rilly madder, onna'count obba fakt dat he was in Doctor's Skool and the Navy needed alla guys that were even studying to become doctors.

So the Navy taught Our Bim to be a Surgical Nurze and sent him away to HaverDeGrace, Maryland, to some Hospiddle called "Bainbridge," where he had lots ob 'Ventures, most ob which he did NOT tell to his Mother (Maman's Granny) or to Annie Hamilton, onna'count obba fakt dat he wasn't quite as stoopit as ebberybunny thought he was.

AND onna'count ob knowing Our Bim, and seeing dat Our Phil-da-Lad not only looks like him, but also acts like him, Our Maman doesn't bodder to axt Phil about "Whut he did inna Navy" - cos furst ob all, she issn't all dat sure, habbin' heard whut happined wif Bim, dat she wants to know whut happined wif Phil, and sekond ob all, she knows dat her chances ob hearing Da Real Honest Troof About Whut Happined Wif Phil Inna Navy are about 100 to 1.

Maman sed dat Mothers are just aboud da LAST peoples to ebber know Da Troof about ennyfing relating to their 'dult kidlets. Da 'dult kidlets know, but they just don't tell and Mothers hab no biznezz hextpecting to be involved beyond a "certain age." (And they sure hab no biznezz, Maman says, to go around carrying signs, gedding arrested, going onna tellyvishion and demanding "a meeting" wiffa Pressydent whin dere kidlet knew full-stop whut he signed up for. As her Granny found out, dere are times when ebben Newport Ladies must learn to graciously accept Things As They Are.)

As Maman has said, "George, young hoomins are still young hoomins, and frum Nelson to Nimitz, and frum Plymouth (the reel one, in Inkland) to Pensacola, da Navy issa Navy and all sailors are preddy much alike, and if you know one, you preddy much know alla dem - the good ones, that is."

But What Is Rilly Impawtant, says Maman, issat da Flag is still dere, assa symbol to ebberybun dat, no madder how upsetting political fings seem to ged, da fundamental freedoms dat form da foundation of dis country - freedom to worship our God, freedom to speak as we please, freedom to write our own laws anna freedom frum absolute tyranny - remain intact, so long as dat Flag continues to fly.

So if you see dat Flag flying tidday, please fink ob sumbun who Enlisted unner'neaf obbit, and if you see sumbun inna millytary unnyform, go up to dem, shake dere hand and say "Fank You" for serving.

And if you feel a liddle bit patriotic tidday, it's hokay. Ebberyfing in moderashun - not too much, not to liddle; just enuf not to drag your feets and not too much to be prideful. Just enuf to nosebonk sumbun else and say, "I am thankful to be part ob dis Great Warren wif you!"

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:42 AM EDT

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Monday, 12 June 2006

George's Sixth Strand; Day Number 12
Now Playing: Listen, Do You Wanna Know A Sekret? - The Beatles
Well, Maman and I were Uppastairs yestidday and we ordered sum stuff OnLine for Dadda.

Yeah!

As Maman sed, "Dere is no sense in paying full price for a few fings when we can gedda whole bunch ob dees Oberstocks forda same munny."

So we did.

Anna fings are called "Golf Shirts" but I am not sus'posed to tell ennybunny aboudd'em onna'count obba fakt dat dey are a "sekret".

So I went downnastairs and told MissyBun because I allus tell her ebberyfing onna'count obba fakt dat she is my bond-mate. And Missy told Clover because they are friends, and Clover told Beebe who ob course told Mr Mouse and we, Alla Us Togedder figgered dat Maman buying the Golf Shirts shuld become a Sekret in Our Warren and we would not tell da Catz onna'count obba fakt dat dey wuld most likely tell Dadda because dat's how Catz are.

And den Maman called up Phil-da-Lad and telled him aboudda Golf Shirts and added dat he hadda Certain Amount ob Munny and dat he hadda take Dadda Sumplace in order to get sum Udder Golf Stuff dat Maman had writed down onna List. AND dat he hadda take his sistah Beffy along wif him inna carrier.

And this was also anudder Sekret, but Phil hadda tell his sistah, Beffy, only not ALLA IT, onna'count obba fakt dat Beffy can't keep a Sekret, not at ALL.

And dis is ALL onna'count ob Fadder's Day dat is coming on nextest Sunday, which issa Day dat Dadda don't like At ALL!

In fakt, Dadda hates da whole idea ob Fadders' Day, and finks dat it is Stoopit, onna'count obba fakt dat dere are so menny Fadders around who just don't take being a Fadder all dat seriously. As Dadda says, frowing offa kit or two or three don't make sumbun a Fadder. You hafta werk at being a Fadder, and he doesn't feel dat he issa Fadder onna'count obba fakt dat he hasn't been heer at Our Warren since Day One. But he is as proud ob Phil and Beffy as though they were his own Kids, if he had kids, which he doesn't, 'cept for us Furkids (which inkloods da Catz anna Dawg).

Ob course, da way Alla Us Togedder feels abouddit issat he's been heer and been fru justa'bout as much as enny Fadder can be es'peckted to go fru (and he's alive to talk abouddit!) so he quallyfies assa Genuine Fadder as far as We are concerned (and We are who madder around heer!).

But ennyways, Maman says we are gibbin' Dadda "Golf" for Fadder's Day, along wif Phil and Beffy, and we are doing dis whole Fadders' Day Fing and keeping it a Big Sekret!

Yeah!

So, dis morning, as Maman was folding laundry inna Bun Room wif us, and she's axting us "Who Wuld Like To Go Out Onna Screen Porch". Dis issa Noo Question she axts us ebbery day now that it is Summer heer at Our Warren. Dis is onna'count obba fakt dat she's gotta Noo Bun Pen dat she has set up onna Screen Porch where bunnies can go and play and sort ob be "outside" wiffout akchually being Outside where it is Dangerous for us to be. Only da Bun Pen issn't big enuf for Alla Us Togedder to be out onna Screen Porch atta same time, so we take turns being Out Dere in it and ebbery morning we diskuss who is gonna be innit.

Whut's fair is fair, as Maman says.

So I sed, "Well, Mr Mouse or Clover and Beeb can go out onna'count obba fakt dat Missy and I can go wif Phil and Beffy to gedda Golf Fings."

And Maman is wike, "How'd you werk dat wun out, George?"

And I'm wike, "Phil sed he was gonna go sumtime dis week to gedda Golf Fings and you sed he was in charge obba munny and dat Beffy wassa Carrier. So we'll go inna carrier wif Beffy."

And Maman sed, "They're going inna car. Phil's driving, so probably in his car."

And I sed, "Yeah. So we'll go in Beffy's carrier to keep her compiny."

And Maman sed, "Wookit, Beffy doesn't go IN a carrier, even though her brother might want to put her in one. She's going along to help carry da Golf Fings."

And I'm like, "Oh."

And Missy is like, "Well, den, how are WE pawt ob dis big Sekret, den if we can't go IN da carrier wif Beffy? Huh?"

And Maman sed, "Cos you can't tell Dadda WHY he is going along onna shopping trip wif Phil and Beffy. It has to be a suprise to him that he is going along with them to pick out Golf Things for himself."

And Mr Mouse axted Maman how come, if we was gibbin Dadda da pressent ob Golf Fings, why we didn't pick dem out on our own and den gib dem to him?

And Maman sed dat she didn't know da Furst Fing aboudda Golf Fings and dat dey were "Very Personal Fings" in enny case, and dat Dadda hadda pik dem out on his own.

So I axted her, "So whutdaheck is Golf, ennyways?"

And Maman sed, "Golf issa a game where you hit a little white ball with a special stick-thing and then walk along after it through a special park."

And Clover sed dat following a ball around sounded preddy stoopit, wike sumfing Da Dawg would do inna Back Gardin.

And Maman continued, "It's very good exercise and Dadda needs exercise and he likes to play Golf, so we're giving him the stuff to play the game."

And I'm wike, "And dis issa Sekret?"

And Maman sed, "Well, it was a sekret, George. That is, until you went and blogged about it."

And I'm like, "Whut?"

And Maman is like, "Lookit, Bunnyrabbit, all this "stuff" about Dadda getting Golf Fings for Fadders' Day was a "Sekret" - that is, something not told to ennybunny else - until YOU (meaning ME) typed it all down in your Hay Diaries blog for the Whole Wide Werld to read about! But since you've typed it all down, now ennybunny, including your Dadda, can read all about "Whut Dadda Is Gedding For Fadders' Day" right there in "George's Sixth Strand" in his Hay Diaries. So it's not much of a Sekret anymore, is it?"

And I'm like, "Uh, well, no, I s'spose not."

And Missy is wike, "Uh oh. Now you've dunnit, George."

Which issa Big Help if you know whut I mean. Lemme tell you!

And so Missy and I went out innu da Bun Pen onna Screen Porch, and we hadda Fink.

So, um, Dadda, if you are reading dis Blog inna Hay Diaries, Missy and I want you to know dat we are not going ennywheres tidday inna carrier or ennyfing else. And we also want you to know dat Bunnies do not rilly shop or manage to take advantage ob Oberstock Sales at Land's End or ennyfing wike dat. I made alla dat up. Sorta. It's wike Da Davinchy Code Buk - ALL FICTION - which issa devise writers use to capture innerest, you know?

And dere is no such Fing as Golf and we're not taking enny parts in gedding enny Golf Fings for Fadders' Day, onna'count obba fakt dat we bunnies heer at Our Warren hab nebber herd ob Fadders' Day, eidder.

Dere. Cos we're not telling enny Sekrets. How's that?

------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:02 AM EDT

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Friday, 9 June 2006

George's Sixth Strand; Day Number Nine!
Hoppy Day, Ebberybun!

Yeah!

Whuttaday!
Dere is gonna be sun!
Dere is gonna be Screen Porch!
Dere is gonna be fun!
Dere is gonna be Free Range Bunnies!

Dere is gonna be hay!
Dere is gonna be Garden!
Dere is gonna be play!
Dere is gonna be Sunny Day Bunnies!

Are we talking da Good Life heer? You bet'cha!

And we were 'fraid da Alla Good Life days had vanished with Phil anna'Lanna - Well, we were wrong!

Maman and Dadda ordered us a Noo Porch Pen! Dis means dat Four ob Our Warren can be out onna Screen Porch atta same time, wiffout Beebe habbin' Ownership Ishoos.

You know how Beebe-Bunny (bless his widdle cotton socks, as Dadda says, although Beebe doesn't wear socks...) but you know how Beebe wassa School Bunny for a lotta his life, and consequently issn't quite whut Maman calls "All There"? Well, part ob his "not being there" issat he finks he hasta Own Ebbery Fing Inna Whole Wide Werld, which inkloods ebberywhere's dat he can see, which is ebberyfing he can reach to chin.

And he also finks dat ebbery womin inna werld wants him, inklooding My MissyBun.

Ob course, I hab alreddy told him, inna kindest possible way dat she doesn't want him At All but Beebe hassa way ob not bemembering ennyfing ennybunny tells him longer den free sekonds.

So being out onna Screen Porch wif him atta same time wif him and Ms Clover, his bondmate, can be preddy stressful if you happin to be anudder bunny, like me. Which is why Maman and Dadda only let him and Ms Clover be out dere by demselves anna Rest Ob Us hadda wait for Our Turns to be out onna Screen Porch.

Well, Maman got us a Porch Pen, so dat Ms Clover and Beeb can be out onna Screen Porch atta same time as Missy, Mouse and me, and Beebe won't be able to Start Ennyfing because he will be inna Porch Pen wif Clover, anna rest ob us can be out onna Screen Proch doing Free Range onna'count obba fakt dat we don't hab Ishoos.

And den, says Maman, MissyBun and I can be inna Porch Pen and Clover and Beeb can be Free Range.

Maman calls dis Taking Turns and she says dat this is "Only Fair".

Mr Mouse says dat there issa hole in Maman's reasoning onna'count obba fakt dat he seems to be eidder Free Range wif Missy and me or else in his habbytat, or else, Maman says, he'll hab to sort ob form a Bond wif Missy and me.

Now, I dunno if I wanna share my wifebun wif Mr Mouse, and MissyBun isn't at all sure if she ebben wants to be shared, and Mr Mouse sure isn't sure if he wants to share in habbin' a wife-bun since dat would mean whut he calls Dire 'Sponsibilities dat he has managed to avoid for da last eight years, and isn't sure he wants to take on now, at dis time in his life.

But Maman says dat if Mr Mouse is gonna share da Porch Pen wif MissyBun and me, he's gonna end up inna Three-Way-Bond.

Skerry Thought.

But Maman is habbin it.

And she is habbin dis "Thought", Out Loud, to Dadda while she was also finking Out Loud aboud geddin Noo Porch Chairs (afta we hab gone to alla Trubble to chin alla ones dat are out dere atta momint!) because she doesn't like Aluminimuinuminum.

So while da Noo Porch Pen seems to be Great, we are faced wiffa anudder Noo Problem, which is namely Forced Bonding.

Mebbe.

Now we hab alreddy managed to put up wiffa Dawg anna Catz, but put up wif each udder?

Whut is she, Nutz?

As Mouse sed last nite, "Sumbun hasta stop dis womin frum finking. Whenebber she finks, why are we allus da ones dat wind up habbin to pay for it?"

And I sed I didn't know, but as I sed bifore, it sure seems dat way. I mean, it's wike, she decides dat she and Dadda hab to go on "Bay-Kay-Shun" and we get Phil anna'Lanna, and den she brings home dis Porch Pen and suddinly, we are hearing talk about "Forced Bonding" inna Threesome!

I mean, Whuttaheck? Whut's wrong wif dis pikchur, fellow bunnies?

Dere has got to be some kinda lever inside ob Maman's hed dat will turn off her finking. And it's up to us, Alla Us Togedder, as always, to find it and move it innu da "Off" position.

Udderwise, we are gonna hab BIG more problems heer!

Lemme tell you!

---------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 6:29 AM EDT

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Saturday, 3 June 2006

George's Sixth Strand: Day Number Three
Now Playing: YEAH!

Oh yeah! I DID it! I am HEER!

And it isn't ebben June da 4th!

YEAH!

I told you I would finda way to ged onna 'puter to type a entry inna Hay Diaries and I did! I am heer!

So whut's been going on?

Well, lemme tell you...

While Maman and Dadda are gone away, Phil-da-Lad anna'Lanna hab bin heer. Yeah. And while da FOOD (an all-impawtant con-siddy-ray-shun) has continued to be good (fanks to Maman who left a whole lotta De-Tailed 'Struct-shuns) fings onna Sekurity Frunt hab been a widdle onna Uncertain Side Obba Street.

At least if you axt Da Dawg who has Sekurity Issuhoos to begin wif.

Yeah.

You see, da Pwoblem has gen'rally been dat dere is Nite. Ebben though Phil-da-Lad has been carefully 'Structed to LEEB ONNA LIGHTS in Certain Rooms inna Houz, (and he does!) Da Dawg still gets his Anxiety Complex going as soon as it gets to be NITE around heer. AND, onna'count obba fakt dat dere is no Maman or Dadda heer, Da Dawg gets to
Pacing and
Peeping and just
Gen'rally Werrying 'bout all KINDS ob Stoopit Stuff, and keeping Alla Us Togedder heer in Our Warren awake by axting us when Maman and Dadda are coming back.

Anna ansure to dat one is, "Howdaheck do we Bunnies know?"

Cos nobun consulted Alla Us Togedder, dat's for sure!

Howebber, dis is all unnerstandable, onna'count obba fakt datta Dawg has been left OnAlone too much inna Previous Time (which is why NoBunny EnnyWhere shuld ebber be left OnAlone!). And because ob dat Previous Time whenna Dawg was nebber shure if ennybun was ebber gonna come back for him again, he is allus afraid dat nobun is ebber gonna come back for him again.

So he
Paces and
Peeps and just
Gen'rally Werries himself nutz alla time he can't aktually SEE his hoomins.

So Da Dawg is being his usushal Pesty Self and bodderingdaheck outta Alla Us Togedder when Phil-da-Lad anna'Lanna aren't aktchually standing rite HEER inna middle obba houz, making noise and talking to each udder, if not toda Dawg, himself.

But da Good News issat Phil-da-Lad anna'Lanna decided dat dey wanted to habba Pawtee, so they spent a Coupla Days cleaning uppa Screen Porch, and staying rite HEER where Da Dawg could see dem, so he was preddy happy about dat.

It doesn't take much to make Da Dawg happy (simple fings for simple minds...).

Budda Catz, onna udder paw, are somefing else again, which is preddy usushal, when you come to fink abouddit, onna'count obba fakt dat NUFFING makes Da Catz happy to begin wif.

Well, hokay, WUN Fing makes dem happy and dat is complaining, but Phil-da-Lad anna'Lanna hab Three Cats, inklooding Queen KayCee, Princess Priss, and no kitty inna whole Werld can complain like her, not ebben Cokie-da-Fat-Cat (and he knows dis!) - so Phil-da-Lad anna'Lanna preddy much know how to Ignore Useless Cat Complaints.

Hokay, TWO Fings makes Cokie-da-Fat-Cat happy, but Phil isn't ebber, nebber again gonna take him to get Chikin Fingers inna car ebber again. Phil sed dat whin he brought Cokie-da-Fat-Cat home frum dere da Last Time and him and alla Rent-A-Teens was bleeding and had been banned frumma Burger King onna'count obba fakt dat Cokie-da-Fat-Cat had tried to motor IN fru da Drive-Thru Winder ober top ob Phil's hed to ged his order ob Chikin Fingers OUT frumma Burger King.

A Bad Time Was Had By All - 'cept for Cokie-da-Fat-Cat who had a berry GOOD TIME, 'cept for habbing had his tail and leg pulled on a widdle bit by Jeff and Sherwin hanging on trying to stop him frum motoring ober Phil's hed to get innu da Burger King Drive-Thru Winder...

So, ennyways, Da Catz are complaining uppastairs in their Apawtmint onna'count obba fakt dat Phil anna'Lanna aren't Dadda, and Beep-da-Cat is happy because anna'Lanna has combed her fur and cut out alla tangles dat Beep can't reach onna'count obba fakt dat she is too fat.

And Alla Us Togedder are gedding Salad and pellets and a fair amount ob Timothy Hay frumma Hay Locker outside. We are also gedding TREATS which is berry impawtant, 'cept it seems wike Maman has told Phil anna'Lanna sumfing aboud limiting raisins to only FIVE per bunny which is preddy much hare-essy, if you axt me!

I mean, dese are RAISINS, and they come inna tub, forcryingoutloud. Who counts raisins dat come inna tub? Da fing to do, as I see it, is to put da tub innu each bunny's habbytat and let da bunnies decide how menny raisins dey want. We can sorta come and go as we please, innan'outta da tub, you see, onna'count obba fakt datta tub is big enuf to get our heds inside obbit (if you put your ears rite down flat) and den grab a raisin and back out. And if Missy goes and clogs uppa opening obba tub, I can just chew a hole inna side and get in dat way, because I am berry good at chewing a hole and don't mind it if I hab to do it, not if dere are raisins involved...

So we're doing preddy good heer, I fink. Dere is wots ob food, and we hab enuf compiny ('cept forda Dawg, who can nebber hab enuf compiny!), and it is cool and nice inside obba houz. Ob course we miss Maman and Dadda, but Phil anna'Lanna are good at taking care ob Alla Us Togedder, just like Maman sed dey wuld be.

Frankly, I didn't 'speckt ennyfing less obba Bunsitters, cos as Maman says, "Only da BEST for Our Warren."

--------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:03 AM EDT

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Saturday, 27 May 2006

George'sFifth Strand: Day Number 27
Now Playing: Holly-Day! Uh oh...
Well, Phil-da-Lad is all growed up and 'Tellygint now.

Guess you knowed dat.

Yeah.

Like me, he has gone frum being a Youngbun to being a Top Bun - well, not rilly onna'count obba fakt dat Hoomins habba dif'frunt kinda Hierarchy den Rabbits.

So we will say dat Phil-da-Lad is All Growed Up.

Maman sed datta Naby did it.

Ennyways, he is coming to Bun Sit. Dis issa 'Pawtant Job, which means dat he will hab to do Whut We Say.

Now da Dawg says dat Phil will hab to do Whutta Dawg Says, and dis is fine wif us, so long as it is just inna way obba Dawg going in-and-out fru da Back Door toda Gardin and alla dat stuff.

Anna Fat-Cat says dat Phil will hab to do Whutta Catz Says. Which is also fine wif us, so long as it has to do wif Feeding Catz Sumwheres Uppastairs Where Dey Libs.

Oh, and turning on the Air Con Dishywasher for dem, so dat the Catz don't ged too hot.

Onna'count obba fakt dat it is s'sposed to ged VERY hot dis week-end.

And NO PET should be left inna too hot!

Dis is troo. Because ALL PETS NEED: Acess to clean water, cool air and a clean, shady rest area in hot weather!

Nebber fortyged dis.

Which is anudder reezon why Phil-da-Lad is coming to stay heer wif us.

Oh, and also In Case Ob Emergencies.

Maman says dat dere allus hab to be an Emergency Plan dat Inkloods da Pets so her plan inkloods Phil being heer to take care ob us whin she and Dadda mite not be.

Yeah.

So we, Alla Us Togedder at Our Warren are hokay wif dat, too.

As Missy sed, "As long as the treats come afta da salads, den, hokay, I kin lib wiffit."

But dere's wun fing - I won't be 'lowed to do my Blog!

Can you beeleeb it?

I can't blog, onna'count obba fakt dat Phil-da-Lad doesn't know ennyfing aboud typin' in Lagomorphin like Maman, and so he can't help me!

So I can't type!

I told Maman to let Alla Us Togedder do it all on our own, like usta happin wif Belinda Bunny, but she sed dat prob'ly culdn't happin! Can you Beleeb it?

Well, mebbe I will make it werk!

I WILL put out anudder blog entree BIFORE 4 JUNE!

***THUMP***

Yeah!

Watch me!

At least I fink so.

Gonna try.

Um...

-------------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:49 AM EDT

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Tuesday, 23 May 2006

George's Fifth Strand: Day Number 23
Now Playing: They're Killin' da Trees!

Oh HELP!

There is mens outside in Our Warren's Back Garen and they are taking down trees!

Maman is skert. We heer inna Warren can feel da Fear streaming offa her, but she is pretending dat she is not afraid as she puts away da dishes inna kitchin and makes coffee for herself. She has been telling Da Dawg dat it is "All Right", but whut Alla Us Togedder wanna know is: Whuttaheck can be "All right" aboudda strange mens inna Back Gardin, killin' trees?

Maman wint out bifore da mens camed, and she touched two obba trees and said sumfing to dem. I dunno whut. Dem she camed inna houz and sed to me,

"George, only inna 'Murrica can we afford to hab so menny feelin's for trees. In anudder country, dey would see dees trees assa way to cook dere food and keep warm, assa source ob light and heat, and dey would Fank God for dem, anna trees wuld unnerstand. Only heer can we afford to waste dem."

Which only goes to show you how she's not making sense agin. Which is whut allus happins to her whin she is not feeling shure aboud whut is happinin around her.

But Dadda sed datta trees are dangerous in hurrykanes and we mite hab summa does dis year, and datta trees dat hab to come down are da ones dat could easily fall onna houz onna'count obba fakt dat dey are not tight inna ground.

Anna tree fallin' onna houz is no laffin' matter onna'count obba fakt dat it wuld hit da Bun Room furst!

Cos we're closest toda Back Gardin, you see.

Yeah.

So, dat issa'nudder Reeson why da trees hab to go.

But Maman is sad, too, onna'count obba fakt datta trees hab bin inna Back Gardin since she wassa widdle gurl.

Dey are Rilly BIG Trees and takin' dem down is makin' a whole lotta noise.

But wunna da mens comed in and wooked at Our Warren onna'count obba fakt dat he also has Housebunnies and he wants sum more Information aboud Bunnies Libbin' As Urban Rabbits so Maman is gonna send him wif his 'puter to wook at The House Rabbit Society web-site so he can find out alla'boud Bunny Proofing His Houz and spay/neutering for his bunnies (which is rilly, RILLY important!) and 'Dopting Bunnies Frumma Shelter and alla stuff dat ennybunny who hassa Housebunny NEEDS to know.

So Maman feels dat she mite hab done sum widdle bit ob good tiday.

But she is still uppastairs cryin'. (Da Fat-Cat commed down and telled us dis. He is good wike dis, cos he can't keep a Sekret.)

So we dunnno whut to do.

We don't fink dere is ennyfing we can do. It is just wun ob dose fings.

We don't want our houz to get crushed by a tree inna hurrykane, but we feel sorry an' sad forda trees dat is being killed.

How do we tell dem dat we don't mean to hurt dem? Maman tried, but she is afraid dat she don't speak "Tree".

As she sed, all she can do is pray dat sumhow, dey unnerstands dat she is not doing dis wiffout feeling sadness.

Alla God's creation matters, big and small. Maman is shure dis is troo, and just assa smallest annymul matters, so do alla plants, fumma widdlest flower toda biggest tree. If God taked alla time and trubble to put dem heer, dey matters!

An' if dey matters to God, den dey shuld All matter to us. Ebbery wun.

But as Maman says, she is pro'bly wrong abouddit all. She is pro'bly being whut is called "soppy", but we, Alla Us Togedder hab hadda Fink aboud dis berry same fing (and we inklooded da Dawg anna Catz, too) and we, Alla Us Togedder, fink dat Maman is pro'bly more rite den she knows.

Dey are killing da trees inna Back Gardin tiday and it DOES MATTER! So please say a prayer for da three trees inna Back Gardin, and tell dem, if you happin to speak "Tree", dat Maman saved two obb'em (bof obba Oaks) and dat she didn't mean to hurt ennytree. It's just dat dat can't stay where dey is, and dey can't go nowhere's else, and she is sad and sorry dat dis is all happinin as it is.

As she sed, if only dey culd hab gone on to be ob use to sumbun, but dat issn't happinin eidder.

She sed 'Murrica needs to wake up toda fakt dat we can't waste whut udder hoomins libbin' elsewhere need to stay alibe. She sed dat fings wike trees don't mind leebin' da planet if it is for a Cause but dat if dere is no Cause and it is for nuffin', den dat is Wrong.

Ebberyfing shuld hab purpose.

So you see how it is heer.

And we dunno whut to do. So a few ~*~*vibes*~*~, a widdle help ober heer, please?

And please don't fortyget to say a prayer for alla trees anna annymuls who need dem.

Frum your friend at Our Warren,
George (who is kinda skert, too, when Maman is skert)

Posted by Our Warren at 9:27 AM EDT

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Thursday, 18 May 2006

George's Fifth Strand: Day Number 18

Time does fly, lemme tell you!

Do you know, dat whin Belinda Bunny furst typed in dis The Hay Diaries it was more den TWO YEARS ago?

Yeah!

So we bunnies hab been up and running onna WerldWideWeb for longer den MOSTEST hoomins.

Dat's rite. I know dis onna-count ob reading an article wif Maman dat sed datta "average (hoomin, mind you) blog lasts for THREE to SIX MONTHS."

So dis morning, Maman and I gotted up inna Dark and comed uppastairs heer, and began to Edit my Christmas Story. Do you bemember it? It wassa story called George's Christmas Story dat was so long dat it hadda run ober THREE WHOLE DAYS onna-count obba fakt dat it was too long to go innu ONE blog entry. Mostly, it wassa story about How Belinda Bunny Builded Da Widdle Welcome Houz Atta Rainbow Bridge Whin Me,Hunny Was Headin' Dat Way." It was meant to be reassuring, so dat hoomins won't hab to be afraid for dere bunnies when dey leeb heer forda Rainbow Bridge.

You know, a lotta hoomins are skert aboudda bunnies who leeb heer for The Rainbow Bridge. They fink dat their bunnies might not be 'llowed to go enny place nice, or dat after dey leeb heer there might be nuffin'. But dey allus remark uponna fakt dat we bunnies don't seem skert obba Black Rabbit at all.

Well, dat's because we're not.

Anna reason dat we bunnies aren't skert is onna'count obba fakt dat we see da Black Rabbit dif'fruntly den hoomins see him.

Hoomins see Da Death ob Rabbits - sumfing wike a skellyton obba rabbit dressed up inna black robe, wif bloo fire for eyes and carrying a big, sharp scythe to sever the thread dat connects da soul obba bunny frumma Land Obba Living.

Dis is onna'count obba fakt dat hoomins hab dif'frunt Lore.

Hoomins gotta Death-cuttin'-dem-off-fruma-place-dey-know in their Lore and we gotta Lore dat tells aboudda Black Rabbit who leads us from Heer to There.

Dere issa huge dif'frunce between getting "cut off" frumma only place you know and being "led". frum Heer to There, you know?

So dat's Wun Fing.

Anna'nudder Fing issat dere are a wotta hoomins who spend a wotta time typin' buks and stuff, saying "Hey wookit! Dere is nuffin' greater den US." and "Anyfing dat is not hoomin is Less."

Well, I hab sumfing to say aboud dis.

You know, Bunnies are not famous writers. Dis is not because we habbin't had ennyfing to say. Dis is because we hab not been able to write fings down for ennybun to read. In fakt, we hab bin silent not through choice, but through enforcement onna'count obba fakt dat we did not have "Posable Thumbs" and couldn't use either pencils or pens to write our thoughts down on paper!

It wasn't until da 'Puter came along, wif its keyboard, where we could use our paws to spell out werds in Inkwish and in udder languages, dat we could begin to express our thoughts and feelings. It wassa 'Puter dat set us free to communnykate wif udder species on sumfing wike an equal footing. Bifore da 'Puter, we bunnies had no voice!

And sadly, menny bunnies still hab no voice. Dees are da bunnies who are sitting in shelters, who are waiting in rescues and foster homes, who are sitting inna Deep Dark, out of sight and out of mind, living in horrible conditions because their owners hab sed, "It's just a bunny." and they no longer care. Menny bunnies are silent and suffering and they hab no Advocate. No one to speak for dem, except for us - those of us who have been rescued and hab 'puters and who hab lerned how to use them.

But ebben does bunnies, libbin inna Deep Dark and Despair, does poor bunnies still hab Hope because they know that, someday, they will meet the Black Rabbit as one meets an old friend, and that they will go with him to a Great Warren over The Rainbow Bridge, and they'll be happily s'susprised to meet Belinda Bunny and to seeda sign dat says, HAB SUM HAY onna'count obba fakt dat nobunny has ebber invited dem to hab sum hay, or boddered to share wif dem bifore.

But dey know to be patient and to allus hab Hope, no matter whut hoomins say. Bunnies hab a long history ob being silent. We hab only had 'Puters a berry short while, so we habba wotta catching-up to do inna typing depawtmint.
Da few ob us who habba voice are trying to grow 'Tellygint and gedda message out dat Bunnies Are Wunderful Companion Animals
EXCEPT:
Bunnies are NOT good pets for children
Bunnies are NOT a food-source
Bunnies are NOT a fashionable fur-source
Bunnies do NOT belong in laboratories
Bunnies ARE INDOOR only pets and should NOT live in cages!

But it is hard to tell alla dis so dat hoomins hear. When dere minds say, "Bunnies are silent creatures." they don't believe it when they read bunnies' werds.

But bunnies know. Dey unnerstand more den hoomins realise - and hoomins realise dis ebbery time dey wook innu a bunny's eyes. Dey see dat bunnies unnerstand and dey wonder, "How do bunnies know?"

Gib us time. We will tell you.

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:29 AM EDT

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Tuesday, 16 May 2006

George's Fifth Strand; Day Number 16
Now Playing: We're still finking aboud dis wun, folks...

Well, it seems dat Our Back Gardin is gonna be a-changin'. And dat's hokay wif us bunnies cos Maman sed it's gonna look preddy darned good when its all done:

Two oak trees (one ob dem wif pins)
A noo pikit fence wif gates

And afta that Maman's been wheedling Dadda aboud fixing uppa Screen Porch for us bunnies.

So yestidday, Da Dawg hadda be inside obba Houz most obba day onna'count obba fakt dat it was raining quite a lot, and he came out innu da Bun Room and sed:

"Hey George BunnyRabbit. I'm bored. Dere's nobun to play wif and it's raining. Issis your fault, too?"

And I'm, wike, "Huh? Whut'cha mean issa rain and you being bored da Bunnies' fault?"

Anna Dawg sat down and tried to kick-start his brain wif his back paw for a sekond, and den continued,

"Well, ebberyfing happins around heer a'ffeks me sumhow, and it's all cossa you bunnyrabbits. Furst, Maman takes ober dis room and makes it innu a Room for Bunnies Only, and I end up habbin' to be OnGuard alla time to Keep da Catz Outta Da Bun Room. Den Maman plants a Gardin cos ob Me, Hunny Rabbit, and den I get yelled at for digging innit. Now Dadda just told me dere are mens coming to cut down da swamp maple trees where I chase squirrels up, and dat it will take down part ob my fence where I pee to let dat Penny Dawg nextest door know dat dis is My Yard, and Maman says I'm gonna hab to be taken for walks until a Noo Fence is 'stalled around "Our Warren's Back Gardin". And now Maman's talkin' aboud 'Rennyvating' da Screen Porch where I wike to sit 'Forda Bunnies To Hab Sum Play Area' and I just know dat's gonna mean I am gonna be messed around wif or hab to gib up sumfing so she can do her 'Rennyvating' for You Bunnies! So ebberyfing dat happins around heer, seems to wind up a'ffektin' me onna'count ob you. And I wanna know how dat happins, George BunnyRabbit."

And Da Dawg gibbed me da Border Collie S-t-a-r-e.

So I shifted around on my paws a widdle and gibbed whut he sed sum thot.

Because Da Dawg was rite: ebberyfing dat happined around heer at Our Warren did manage to inklood him, not to mention Da Catz, too.

"Ebben," added Da Dawg, "Beebe-Bunny!! being sik has managed to inklood me."

And he shifted his s-t-a-r-e ober to where Clover and Beebe were sitting in dere habbytat, contemplating dere hay.

"I mean, howcome issit dat whin it is time for Beebe to hab his meddysin," axted Da Dawg. "I hab to be put outside inna Back Gardin, wheather I wanna go outside to pee or not? And ebbery time, Dadda suckers me wif dat, 'Go count your squirrels, Markie!' and don'cha know, I keep falling for it? I mean, I know how menny squirrels are out dere inna Back Gardin, and I tell him ebbery time he tells me to count'em. I bark once for each squirrel cos dat is how a Dawg counts, and dere are three squirrels so I bark three times at each maple tree, cos dat is where dey lib. I mean, whut more does Dadda want ob me? I'm out dere, doin' my Job, ebben inna Dark, inna Nite, inna Rain - or not - just onna'count obba Fakt dat Beebe is habbin' his meddysin!"

And I sed, "Well, Maman did get Dadda to put inna Noo Back Porch Light so you could see your Gardin bedder."

Da Dawg nodded, "Well, dere is dat. But da Fakt is dat I'm stillgeddin' thrown out at Nite onna'count ob Beebe's meddysin, somehow."

"And you gedda cookie when you come inside again." I sed.

"Two cookies." Da Dawg corrected me. "I ged two, and I can count. Maman tried to fool me oncst by buying bigger cookies, but I wasn't falling for dat old one. Nope. I get two cookies whin I come In Frum Outside At Nite, no madder whut size cookies dey are. I am not a Stoopit Dawg."

"None ob us is Stoopit in Our Warren." I sed. "Afta all, we is Us."

"Dat's rite." Sed Da Dawg. "So howcome I godda go Out Inna Gardin when Beebe gets his mddysin, ennyways?"

And I scritched my ear wif my paw (whut Dadda calls "George Trying To Kick-Start His Brian") and thought aboud dat and den answered,

"I fink Maman is skert dat she will fall ober you or dat Dadda will drop Beebe or sumfing. So dey puts you outside onna'count ob dem being Old."

Anna Dawg sed, "Oh." And den he axted: "So whut's up wif dem taking down my trees, relocating my squirrels and removing my fence?"

And I hadda widdle Fink aboud dis, and den replied: "Well, I fink dat Dadda is Tired Ob Raking Leebs so he wants to hab Fewer Trees, anna only way he kin hab Fewer Trees is to ged rid ob sum obb'em, but Maman don't wanna ged rid ob enny obb'em, so he needs an hextcuse. And Maman wants to habba Noo Fence onna'count obba fakt dat she finks da Old Fence is berry ugly, but she needs a hextcuse to get rid obba Old Fence to replace it wiffa Noo Fence. So I heered Dadda talking to Maman abouddit, and she wikes alla trees, but Dadda don't. So Dadda pointed out to Maman datta way datta trees growed messed uppa Old Fence and didn't Maman wanna habba preddy Noo Fence? So dat was his hextcuse so dat he don't hab to rake alla leebs alla time, and it was also Maman's hextcuse for replacing da Old Fence wiffa Noo Fence. I don't fink bunnies, dawgs or kitties ebben ennered innu dere heds."

Anna Dawg sed, "You fink?"

And I sed, "Yeah." Cos I could bemember Maman and Dadda habbin wunna dere long, hoomin Talks aboudda Trees Inna Yard and how dey wanted to habba nice Pikit Fence inna "British Style" dat went Alla Way Around da "Property" and had Gates atta Frunt Walk, and atta DribeWay and alla dat stuff. But Maman sed it wuld be "Too Hextpensive" and Dadda sed "Well, da old fence hasta go ennyways." And Maman agreed, and sumhow, dey ended up figgerin' out dey had no udder choice den to get out da maple trees, take down da Old Fence and gedda Noo Pikit Fence dat dey wanted inna Furst Place."

"So why didn't dey just ged it cos dey wanted it?" Axted Da Dawg.

And I 'spected my toes and sed I didn't know. "Who kin figger out hoomins?"

"So whut aboudda Screen Porch?" Axted Da Dawg. "Whut's up wif dat?"

And I bemembered dat Maman was talking about "Anner-Ron-DakChairs" anna "Noo Rug" and about geddin' "X-Pens" and "Baby-Gates" so dat alla bunnies could be out onna Screen Porch togedder wifout Da Dage or Da Catz.

So I sed toda Dawg, "Well, dat's Maman again. She finks we bunnies are too Fluffy and need Hexstersize."

And dere wassa *Fump* assa Dawg pulled in his paws and collapsed innu a heap onna floor. And he wooked up at me wif his bloo eyes and sed,

"It's allus cossa DEM issn't it? Maman and Dadda. Dey come up wiffa Bright Ideas for Alla Us Togedder and sumhow or anudder, ebberyfing dey fink ob ends up screwing up fings up for Alla Us Togedder!"

"Yeah." I sed. "But you gotta admit dat dere heart is inna rite place: dey is allways finking whut wuld be best for us. Cos dey lub us."

"Yeah." Sed Da Dawg.

"And whin dey get it all done, we'll lub whut they've done." Sed me.

"Atta End Obba Day." Added Da Dawg.

And he and I sat dere, blinking at each udder, sort ob pondering onna Rellytib Stoopid-ness Ob Hoomins, in general, anna Rellytib Stoopid-ness Ob Our Hoomins, in particular.

Anna Dawg sed, "Well, it's good to hab bunnyrabbits around. I still ged two cookies whin I come Inside At Nite and I'm gonna habba Noo Pikit Fence to pee on. Dat's gonna be a Big Job, marking a whole Noo Pikit Fence. And it will be nice, sitting atta Baby Gate, catching da Breezes frumma Screen Proch while you BunnyRabbits are out dere running off your Fluffiness wiffout Da Catz boddering you. A Noo Rug and Noo Chairs will be nice, when Maman and Dadda manage to get it all done. But it will be a Right Mess while dey are werkin' onnit. As usual."

"Dey hab no Cloo." I sed, as I hadda quick wook at my udder foots. "Alla da fuss and bodder dat dey cause us onna'count obba fakt dat dey lubs us so much."

"None." Sedda Dawg. "As usual, no Cloo at all."

---------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:40 AM EDT

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Thursday, 11 May 2006

George's Fifth Strand: Day Number 11
Now Playing: Don't Come Around Here No More - Tom Petty

Well, you know, for a number ob nights now, I bin hearing fings outside ob our houz, inna Our Warren Back Gardin.

Yes, I hab.

And because I amma Alarm Bunny in Our Warren, it is my job to sleep wif Wun Ear Opin at nite, and T*H*U*M*P RILLY LOUD if I hear ennyfing dat mite be Threatening Our Warren during da nite-time when we are all sleeping.

Dis is part ob being Top Bun in Our Warren.

Yeah. Me,Hunny, who usta be Top Bun obba Our Warren told me alla'bout dis before he went toda Rainbow Bridge, and I do my best to live up to whut he told me onna'count obba fakt dat he wassa berry wise and 'Tellygint Elder Ob His People, wike Dadda's friend, Kutee, said. Hunny was Thirteen Anna Half Years Old when he left forda Rainbow Bridge. I am Two Years Old - I hab a long way to go before I will ebber be as 'Tellygint as Hunny, lemme tell you!

But I do the bestest that I can.

So there I was, sleeping wif Wun Ear Opin, and I heared sumfing outside inna Back Gardin.

Well, dere is not s'sposed to be ennybunny out dere inna nite-time, when it looks like Dark and ebberybunny in Our Warren is inside forda Nite.

So I did like I was s'sposed to do, and I T*H*U*M*P*E*D.

Anna Dawg came ambling outta Maman's and Dadda's bedroom, paddled downna Hallway, fru da Dining Room anna Kitchin and innu Da Bun Room and axted me:

"Whuttsamatta, George BunnyRabbit?"

And I sed, "I herd sumfing outside, inna Gardin."

So Da Dawg hadda listen atta Back Door fora minit, and he sniffed alla'long da edge obba door and he sed,

"You're right, Bunnyrabbit. Dere is sumfing out dere, but I dunno whut. Lemme go ged Dadda. Dat's my job."

So he wint outta da Bun Room, and preddy soon, here comes Dadda in bare feets.

Anna Dawg stops inna Kitchen doorway, and says, rilly plainly, in Dawg,

"Lookit, I don't wanna go Outside. Dis issn't wike da last time whin MouseBunny peed on me! I'm just telling you dere is sumfing OUT DERE, and not dat I wanna go OUT DERE and habba wook at it, hokay?"

And Da Dawg stared rilly hard atta door, just so Dadda would get da message.

Well, Da Dawg has bright, pale Bloo eyes AND he issa Border Collie, so whin he stares, well, he rilly, rilly s-t-a-r-e-s. Like a pin fixing a bug to a corkboard, dat's how he stares, lemme tell you.

So ennyways, Dadda gets da message dat Da Dawg does not, unner enny circumstances, wanna go Outside.

And I T*H*U*M*P again, just to sort ob make sure dat Dadda doesn't get enny Wrong Ideas started up.

And Dadda says, "Whut's out dere, George?"

And I'm, like, "Howdaheck do I know? I'm da wun stuck in my habbytat, and you're da wun walking around nextest toda door. Turn onna light switch and wook outta window if you wanna know whut's out dere."

And Dadda says, "You know I rilly gotta bemember to change dat Outdoor Light Fixture so I can see whut's going on inna Back Garden."

And he turns around and says, "Good job, George. 'Nite, Bunnies!"

And dat, was dat.

So preddy much da same fing happened da Nextest Nite anna Nite Afta Dat.

And DEN, afta I had herd dis same "fing", whutebber it was, outside inna Back Garden a few nites inna row, and sent Da Dawg in to get Dadda outta bed, AND afta a couple ob nites ob Dadda coming out innu da Bun Room and saying how he hadda bemember to put inna Noo Light Fixture and alla dat, well...

Yestidday morning, Dadda goes Out, Inna da Back Garden and he calls Maman.

"Wook at dis." He says, pointing.

And Maman says, "Whut's dat doing out inna middle obba Gardin?"

And Dadda sed, "Sumfing taked dat empty milk jug outta da Recycle Bin and left it inna middle obba Gardin."

And Maman shouts, "WHUT?"

Which preddy much sounded like Belinda Bunny whin she was getting ready to go Beside Herself, only a lot louder.

And den Dadda sed, "And lookit your Herb Gardin."

And Maman leans outta da Back Door and hassa wook, and she wooks back at Dadda and snaps,

"Iffa Dawg's been digging anudder hole..."

Anna Dawg shouts frum out inna middle obba Back Gardin, wif his Ball in his mouf,

"HEY! IT WASSN' M'BE DIS TIME!"

And he couldn't ebben shout right onna'count obba fakt dat he hadda ball in his mouf because he's allus hoping dat Dadda or Maman is gonna stop whutebber dey're doing and play Toss Da Toy wif him. Ebben whin he's in Trubble, he still finks sumbun is gonna play wif him. Once he's got dat ball in his mouf, he's not letting go obbit until sumbun agrees dey are gonna play wif him. I told you, he's a Border Collie. I didn't say he was Dat Bright.

So Maman goes out innu da Gardin and Dadda brings her da milk jug dat has been taken frumma recycling bin, and dey mention dat it has TEEF HOLES where sumfing has been chewing onnit! And den dey walk downna Garden to where the Fence Stops, and dere issa HOLE INNA FENCE!

Yeah! Da Fence has been bent so dat sumfing can come innu Our Warren's Back Gardin!

And I, George ob Our Warren, had heard it inna nite-time!

Well!

Lemme tell you, Maman was preddy Upset.

She called ober da Man Who Lives Nextest Door. His name is Don and he issa Ribberman. Dere is nuffin aboudda Dellyware Ribber in dis area dat he don't know. He knows where alla fish are, and whin dey leeb dis area for anudder area, and he knows alla da annymuls and where dey libs and how dey libs. He sits in his liddle boat and watches and watches, and dere is nuffin he doesn't know aboudda Natchur in dis area.

So Maman and Dadda showed him da empty milk jug, anna hole inna Herb Gardin, anna place where da Fence Was Bent Up To Let Sumfing Innu Our Back Gardin.

And Don da Ribberman wooked at ebberyfing and sed:

"Raccoon. You prob'ly gotta Raccoon."

Well, Maman hadda gennywine fit.

Raccoons gots fleas.
Raccoons gots ticks.
Raccoons gots diseases.
Raccoons fight anna poor, old, clueless Dawg issa Poor, Old Clueless dawg, and he wouldn't habba chance if he cornered a fierce Raccoon wif claws and sharp teefs, and whut if he gets hurt, Poor, Old, Clueless Dawg...

Anna Dawg comes innu da houz, bringing his ball, and he's wike,

"Whut? Whodaheck is she talkin' about, ennyways?"

And I'm wike, "Whuttaheck issa rack-coon?"

And den Da Fat-Cat suddinly shambles in and sits down inna middle obba Bun Room. And he wooks around wif his big round, yellow eyes, and axts,

"So whut's alla da screeming goin' on in heer?"

Anna Dawg drops his ball, he's dat sus'sprised and he axts Cokie, "How did you get out ob your apawtmint?"

And Cokie says, "Dunno. Da door was opin, so I came out. Dere was nobun onna stairs, so I comed down. Den dere was nobun inna Libbin' Room, so I kept on coming and Arribed heer. So tell me why I bothered."

Anna Dawg says, "Dere has bin a Raccoon inna Back Gardin." Den he stops and gibs da Cat a s-t-a-r-e, and growls, "An INTRUDER!"

And Cokie meets Da Collie Stare wiffa Cat-Stare, den shrugs his big shoulders and says,

"And dis effects me, how? 'Cept forda fakt dat George BunnyRabbit heer keeps wakin' me and Beep-da-Udder-Cat up inna middle obba nite. I mean, we're in heer, BunnyRabbit, and whutebber It is, It's out dere so obviously, It doesn't madder. So why can't we all just hab peace and quiet to stay asleep?"

And I say, "Cos whutebber dis Raccoon fing is, it is an Indtruder wike Da Dawg says."

And Cokie fixes me wif his Cat-s-t-a-r-e and says, "So?"

And I say, "Wookit, Cat, we bunnies are Prey Annymuls. Our success assa species depends on staying 'Lert for Preddytors."

"And I," says Da Dawg. "Amma Guard Annymul. My success assa species depends on guarding whutebber Maman and Dadda fink is impawtant, which would be da BunnyRabbits."

And Cokie shakes his hed. "Wookit," he says. "I amma Preddytor, and NoBun T*H*U*M*P*S and wakes da whole houz when I'm walking around."

"Onna'count obba fakt dat we know you." I say.

But Da Dawg isn't known for being tactful, so whut he says to Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is:

"Lookit, Cat, da Rool says "No Catz Inna Bun Room" BUT I saw Belinda Bunny hed-butt you allaway across da Libbin' Room cawpet oncst, and I know you aren't stoopit enough to chance getting your butt whopped twice by anudder bunnyrabbit. So dat's why I let you innu dis Bun Room."

And Cokie sighed.

And den he sed, "I fink a raccoon issa type ob feral cat, only it's not feral onna'count obbit being wild. And since dere is berry widdle wild left for raccoons to lib in, dey sort ob try to lib inna same place as hoomins and dat causes Trubble, just wike it allus does whin Hoomins and Wild Fings hab to share da same space onna planet. Hoomins just don't share good."

And I sed to Cokie, "Well, Maman shares wif us preddy good. We get food, and hay and treats."

And Cokie sed to me, "But wild annymuls don't hab Our Maman. And dey wuld be skert oudda dere minds if dey did find out dey had her. Dey just wanna go on libbin' inna Wild, Just As They Allus Hab Done - only hoomins put in Gardins, and dey put out stuff inna rubbish dat smells wike food. And den da Hoomins complain whinna Wild Fings come and bodder wif dere stuff. You know, oncst, wong, wong ago, we was Wild Fings, too. And den we realised it was Better for us to Lib Inside wif da Hoomins. But dees Wild Fings still wanna be Wild, IF da hoomins will let dem."

So I hadda Fink about dis.

And I began to wonda if mebbe dis Raccoon, or whutebberdaheck it is dat is coming innu Our Warren's Back Gardin at nite, is rilly an INTRUDER at all, or is it rilly just sumbun trying to ged along inna werld fulla hoomins.

I dunno. I still don't like Noises Inna Nite. I can't help it. I'm the Alarm Bunny in Our Warren and Me, Hunny taught me dat I hab to allus sleep wif One Ear Opin and stay onna 'Lert for da Good Obba Warren.

Anna Dawg can't help being whut he is, and waking up Dadda inna middle obba nite if he feels its impawtant, either, you know.

Just like the Raccoon can't help being a Wild Fing outside, digging through the nice, soft soil dat Maman has turned up in order to plant her Herb Gardin, taking da easy way out, wooking for worms and grubs...

---------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:47 PM EDT

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Wednesday, 10 May 2006

George's Fifth Strand; Day Number 10
Now Playing: There Ain't No Song To 'Spress How I Feel!

I hadda whole entry typed for tiday.

It was rilly, rilly good, too.

Den da "lektrick company" screwed up. They had whut Maman called a "blip" anna whole screen I was typing on went dark.

When it got light again, MY BLOG WAS MISSING!

T*H*U*M*P!

I am beyond angry. I am beyond PO'ed. I am beyond cheesed off. And I am way beyond 'nnoyed.

I am MAD!

Yeah!

I am whole-heartedly, full-bore, Inkwish-Spot-type-ebben-if-I'm-not-one, rip-snorting MAD.

Yeah!

T H U M P!

THUMP!

Thump -- Thump -- Thump -- T*H*U*M*P!

And now, if nobun minds, I am gonna go, obber heer innu DIS corner, and occupy da High Ground, which happins to be MY pootie-box, and habba MAJOR SULK....

And den I'm gonna follow Hunny's advice - I'm gonna "Hab sum hay, and habba nap" and den I'm gonna see iffa whole, darned, screwed-up, stoopit werld don't wook a whole lot bedder afta I do.

-------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:02 AM EDT

Updated: Wednesday, 10 May 2006 11:03 AM EDT

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Thursday, 4 May 2006

George's fifth Strand; Day Number 4
Now Playing: Here Comes The Sun

Here comes da sun!

Yeah!

Woke up dis morning, had sum hay, hadda look around and then Missy woke up.

And she nipped me inna butt again and we hadda widdle chase around the habbytat.

This is getting beyond a joke, lemme tell you.

I mean, whut's going on here?

I am notta kinda bunny-rabbit that makes much obba fuss, you know? I'm preddy reg'lar in my habits - I ged up, sing a widdle song, hab sum hay, wander around, habba look inna wadder crock, sing anudder widdle song -

In other werds, I don't do much, but MissyBun seems to FINK I'm doing all kinds of stuff dat I usually can't ebben imagine myself doing.

It's wike I'm not unnerstanding my place inna unnyverse or sumfing.

Or else Missy's unnyverse hassa noo job for me innit and I habbin't reported for dooty yet.

I mean, all I hab been doing is growing more 'Tellygint, which is whut rabbits do. I don't fink I'm s'sposed to gedda nip-inna-butt because ob dat (at least, if I am, Hunny nebber sed ennyfing aboud it).

Now I am still a good groomer. This is onna'count obba fakt dat I lub MissyBun, so I groom her alla time - and she issa Beautiful Bunnygurl ob Gen'rus P'porshuns, so dere issa lot ob Missy for me to groom. I mean, she is notta "once or twice arounna ears, and we're all done sweetie". Oh no. MissyBun issa "you bedder leeb chalk-marks so you know where you left off, buster" kinda rabbit what needs meticulous grooming.

And I do that.

But just let me stick my hed unnerneaf ob her to get my ears done and you'd fink it wassa End Obba Werld sumtimes. I get suchha nip!

And it's not wike dis is consistent, eidder. It's like "whin she feels wike it". Like there are times whin I get my ears groomed and udder times whin I get my butt nipped. It's just that I can't tell which one its gonna be until too late-to-do-ennyfing-abouddit.

So while Maman was doing da Laundry (dat is, washing clothes) she and I hadda "Fink" aboudd it.

And Maman sed, "Well, George, da fakt is dat you are notta Youngbun ennymore. You were Babby George whin you arrived here and now you are Grown-up George, and Missy is reacting to you like you're an Adult Bunny instead of a baby bunny."

"You mean she wiked me bedder whin I was noo?"

And Maman sort of thought dis ober fora minit (she was folding towels, and puttin' them onna top ob my habbytat) and she sed,

"Well, noo seems to kinda wear off afta awhile, and geds replaced by "used to" as in "comfortable". Like where your pellet bowl is now is comfortable, but if I moved it, you wouldn't be "used to" where it was for awhile."

And I settled down wif my paws unner me, because Maman can't ebben gedda hang ob approaching a subjek unless it's by the long 'way 'round.

"You gotta keep an eye onna fings dat is "noo" in case dey do sumfing strange." Maman went on. "It's hard werk. Wif fings you are "used to" you don't gotta watch dem alla time cos dey aren't gonna change alla dat much, and you are free to concentrate onna udder stuff dat needs your 'tenshun. And if dat "udder stuff" manages to 'nnoy you, den you're gonna be 'nnoyed wiffa stuff you are "used to" as well assa stuff dat is 'nnoying you."

"So," I offered helpfully, "whut you're saying issa da stuff you're "used to" you don't see, whereas da stuff dat is "noo" you do. So Missy doesn't see me ennymores?"

And Maman shaked her hed and grabbed anudder towel.

"No, Missy sees you fine." She sed. "And she wuld miss you something chronic if you weren't there. She wouldn't be at all "used to" you not being there, if you know whut I mean. She depends on you being there and being part ob her werld. It's just that she doesn't hab to devote a whole, huge part ob her brain to watching you like she once did and the extry parts ob her brain she's not using to watch you, she's using to watch udder fings. And whin those udder fings make her 'nnoyed, den she geds 'nnoyed wif you, too."

"So Missy doesn't habba big brain?"

Maman dropped the towel she was folding and slammed her hand ober my mouf.

"Shaddupshaddupshaddup, George!" she whispered. "Whut are you, stoopit?"

She let go ob my mouf and we wooked at each udder for a sekond.

And I'm wike, "Oops, fortygotted myself dere fora sekond." So I sed, kinda loudly, "Missy's gotta berry powerful brain. Wike a 'puter, rilly, it just ticks right along and nebber misses a beat."

And since I didn't hear enny feets pounding towards me at high speeds ob retribution, I figgered eidder Missy hadn't herd me or else she figgered it wassn't worf da bodder.

And den Maman continued: "It's not wike dat, George. It's more wike dat Missy is comfortable wif you as you are, but atta same time, she's not realising dat you aren't a babby bunny who hasta be told whut to do. You know, Belinda was right about you."

"Belinda was allus rite about ebberyfing." I sed, cos ebben though Belinda Bunny has crossed da Rainbow Bridge, you nebber know; English Spots probably can still hear ebberyfing. "She was possytib ob dat."

"Well, she was rite dat you are growing into Our Warren's Top Bun. I think Missy didn't quite expect you to have as strong a personality as you're developing. I think maybe she thought she could go on devoting less of her brain to being "used to" you, when maybe you'd like her to go back to devoting a little bit more of it to noticing you like she used to."

And I thought abouddat fora minit, cos sumtimes you hab to unravel Maman's thoughts for her, like balls ob lint, until you seperate out alla strands and find whut's rilly inside ob it.

"Missy issa berry busy bunny." Maman added. "Gotta wot to do, and she would rather not be doing three-quarters obbit, which puts her inna bad mood to begin wif."

She began folding anudder towel. "And you are da kind ob bunny who just natchurally finks ebberyfing is gonna be a team-effort. In udder werds," Maman putta folded towel on my habbytat.

"I don't know how usta you pokin' your nose innu ebberyfing Missy rilly is, onna'count obba fakt dat usually whin bunnies poke dere noses in, it means dey is gonna just be more trubble, whereas you are just cheerfully helping Missy to see dat dere are more den two sides to enny isshoo. More or less."

So I tried to follow dat throught through the Spaghetti Junction of Maman's brain, and got lost.

"So issat bad?" I axted finally.

And Maman shaked her hed. "It's not bad, it's just that you and Missy are missing each udder's train of thought. You gotta try to bemember dat you are not allus da Furst Fing on her brain, and she hasta bemember dat you are not just Anudder Idiot."

"I am George." I said. "Growing 'Tellygint."

"Dat's rite." Said Maman. "And while you're attit, try to bemember not to keep looming up on Missy's event-horizon like sum kinda cheerful balloon. Der are certain dangers in being the one who starts singing Here Comes the Sun to sumbun who is determined to go sit in their own personal thunderstorm."

Good, old Maman! She sorts through the Tumble Dryer of her mind and sumhow, when she's managed to fold alla udder thoughts neatly away she allus manages to find an Idea. So dis, at last, was her point!

"So dat's whut's going on heer?" I axted. "I'm just too cheerful?"

"I think," said Maman, loading uppa Bloo Baskit wif towels to take toda linen closet. "you habba realise dat you can't fix ebberyfing for ebberybun alla time, onna'count obba fakt dat you are not Maman, and you are, in fakt, George."

And she leaned ober and kissed my nose.

------------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:25 AM EDT

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Saturday, 29 April 2006

George's 4th Strand; Day Number 29
Now Playing: Bim's Spring Song

Yup. We're gonna sing it tiday, so it's Official!

SRING HAS ARRIVED!

And because Spring is heer, Alla Us Togedder at Our Warren are gonna get togedder inna group and sing Bim's Spring Song.

And you can sing along wif us!

Now, just in case you don't know, I will tell you Da Lore dat is alla'bout Bim's Spring Song. Den nextest year, whin Winter is finally ober and you see dat Spring has arrived again, you, too, can welcome it wiffa Bim's Spring Song just like we do!

Hokay, now dis issa Lore:

Dis issa Lore of Our Warren told to me, George by me, Hunny who was Top Bun of Our Warren for Thirteen Yeears.

When Hunny had been Top Bun of Our Warren for a little over two-three years, there was living inna Warren:
Maman, and Phil-the-Lad, hoomins, and
me,Hunny and Maggie, and Heatherington, rabbits, and
Tristan, the Ancient Dog who wassa dawg.

It had been a berry long and sad Winter. In fact, da only Bright Spot had been whin Maman had rescued Maggie frumma Stoopit Drunk Peoples and brought her home to Hunny where dey found Troo Love and bonded instantly. But Maman had werked berry hard for berry widdle munny, and dere wassn't much to eat, and Phil-the-Lad had been sik, and dere had ebben bin times whin the Great Dragon Furnace in the basement had been starved for fuel, so it had bin berry cold in dat houz.

Now Maman's Fadda (you hab to get this rite) was a berry nice man who wassa Perfesser, which means dat he teached youngbun-hoomins, but that's whut he usta do. He was whut hoomins called "retired", meaning he didn't do dat enny more, but got munny for not doing it onna'count obba fakt dat he was old.

And Maman's Fadda's name was Bill but whin Phil-the-Lad wassa kit, he couldn't say that rite, and he couldn't say "Granddaddy" (which was whut he was s'sposed to call Maman's Fadda) so he copied whut his Sista called Maman's Fadda, and called him, "Bim", which was enuf like "Bill" dat ebberybunny knew who dey were talkin' aboud. And more den dat, Bim liked being called "Bim" onna'count obba fakt dat it made him dif'frunt frum ebbery udder "Granddaddy" or "Bill" inna Whole Wide Werld, and Bim liked being 'peshul.

Because, onna whole, he knew dat he wassa berry peshul, dif'frunt kinda personal hoomin. Which is TROO. He was.

He usta come ober to Maman's house ebbery day and hab coffee (dat he was not s'sposed to hab) and smoke ciggyrets (which he was not 'lowed to smoke) and talk (which he got told he did too much) and "waste time" (which he wasn't s'sposed to be doing, eidder).

And whin he could manage it, he usta gib Maman munny to help her buy stuff she needed, because he could see dat she needed help, but was not 'lowed to hab enny. Of course, he wasn't 'lowed to hab munny eidder, onna'count obba fakt dat "all he wuld ebber do is waste it".

As he and Maman usta observe, dat kinda fing is allus said by hoomins who don't aktchually habba go to werk to earn enny munny, but who wanta hang on to alla it.

Most ob all, he was Cheerful, because Cheerful, wike ebberyfing else, was in berry short supply around dat houz. But Cheerfulness is not s'pensive, and it is berry valuable when it is in short supply.

Bim beeleved in allus Looking Forwards. So whin it was Winter, he was Looking for Spring, and whin fings was Down, he was Looking Up.

Dat habit of mind made sum udder hoomins accuse him ob being trivial, but axtually, it made him berry 'Tellygint onna'count obba fakt dat he knew fings mite not be going great just at dat momint but he had great faith dat dey wuld Turn Around Soonest.

So whin it was cold and it was Winter, and fings were hard, Bim came ebbery week to visit at Our Warren and talk about how fings would get bedder sumhow. If dey could all werk togedder to solve whutebber was wrong in dat sekond and just manage to survive for one more day, yes, well, Spring would have to arrive.

"Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

Bim usta say dis.

And Maman would nod and say, "We'll get through it."

And Bim would say, "You allus got me, kid." And he would wook around at Alla Us Togedder and nod.

And we knew dat was TROO, too.

To a point. Because nobun libs forebber.

But one day, just whin you could lift your nose and smell dat alla frosts were gone frumma air, anna breeze tasted softer, Bim crashed through the frunt door wiffout ringing da bell (as usushual) and hollered out innu da Kitchen where Maman was,

"Hey, is dere enny chance fora cuppa coffee in dis place?"

And Maman sed dat dere was.

And Bim stopped in frunt obba Living Room mirror, turned to his reflection and suddinly, threw out his arms inna "theatrical gesture", and began to sing...

Now I gotta stop here and whisper you sumfing berry fast: Maman usta be a perfessional musik person bifore da Bad Times, and Bim did ammychur actin' and singin' stuff. And dey werked togedder a lot, which helped to make Bim berry, berry good. He hadda wunnerful singin' voice and Maman helped him wif stuff dat nobun ebber knowed.

But bunnies see ebberyfing. As Belinda usta say, we are only one fut offa ground and hoomins don't wook down. But we look up.

So Bim stopped in frunt obba Living Room mirror, opened up his mouf on dat soft, early morning and he singed:

Spring is Sprung!
Da Grass is riz!
I wonder where
The Birdies is?

And that issa Spring Song and it was furst sung by Bim in frunt obba Living Room mirror for Our Warren, to cellybrate the Arrival ob Spring.

And this is how it happined at Our Warren, which is now part obba Lore as I, George, Top Bun obba Warren hab told it to you as it was told to me by me, Hunny, who was dere.

And now me, Hunny and Maggie, Heatherington, and Tristan, the Ancient Dog, and even Bim have all left Our Warren for the Rainbow Bridge. And We Who Stay Behind bemember and miss them 'most ebbery day onna'count obba fakt dat dere is still preddy much all kinds ob sufficent evil still happining ebbery day -

BUT...

We hab faith.

Bim teached us that Spring will allus follow Winter. Ebbery day can be bedder den da day bifore. So we need to cellybrate the Now and look forward to Tomorrow, and then we hafta be reddy to cellybrate Tomorrow whin it comes.

And, so, ebbery Spring, Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren gather togedder at the first sign of Spring, just whin the last frost has gone and the air turns soft, and we sing:

Spring is Sprung!
The Grass is riz!
I wonder where
The Birdies is?

And we bemember Our Bim.

---------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:42 AM EDT

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Friday, 28 April 2006

George's 4th Strand; Day Number 28
Now Playing: "Where Hab Alla Flowers Gone" (Sum Old 60's Song Maman knows)

Hokay, I fink I hab figgered dis out onna'count obba fakt it happins ebbery Spring.

You see, bunnies shed. Dat's rite. We loose our Winter coats and grow in our Summer coats, and ob course, being the helpful, nice, loving bunnies dat we are, we help each other do this by grooming.

Now, grooming issa funny fing. It looks like a lotta werk and it is, but it is werk dat means sumfing more den just werk. It issa social contract obba most intimmymate kind. Grooming issa gloo dat bonds bunnies togedder and if you're not careful, it's also da gloo dat will seal your insides shut faster den plaster, lemme tell you.

I mean, you take a bunny the size ob my MissyBun who is a beautiful gurl-bun ob Gen'rus Propor'shuns. Dere issa whole wotta bunny-rabbit dere to love, and I loves her, but when you fink aboudda fakt dat I groom dat entire bunny-rabbit frum nose to tail, ebbery day, carefully going ober ebbery hair ob dat fur wif my toofies, well, it seems like almost too much obba Great Plenty.

Or as Dadda says to me, "Hey George, did you leeb a chalk mark so you know where you left off?"

Well, I would leeb a chalk mark, lemme tell you, cept I don't hab enny chalk and no pockets to keep it in. Besides, habbin pockets would only slow down whut I like to call da Grooming Process onna'count obba fakt dat a bunny wuld hab to be onna LookOut for pocket lint, and that can't be good.

We hab enuf fings to be onna LookOut for as it is, wiffout habbin to add in pocket lint. And wunna those things we hab to be onna LookOut for is Tummy Troubles frum having Ingested Too Much Ob Udder Bunnies' Fur while we are grooming them.

Now when Catz ingest too much fur, they go innu a quiet corner, usually onna bestest carpet inna whole houz, and hork uppa hairball. Dis issa Cultural Fing for Catz to do. But bunnies do not habba Gag Reflex, so we can't hork up ennyfing. Da hair and fur dat we do swallow while grooming, we hab to shove thru our digestive system and outta udder end, and just hope dat it doesn't get hung up ennywheres.

I mean, when you're gooming sumbun during a heavy shed, one kink in your innerds, and you're a walking a lint-trap wiffa clog inna werks.

Now most bunnies use Hay to keep the System moving along atta reasonable rate. (When you are bonded to a Bunny Ob Gen'run Propor'shuns such as my MissyBun you can't afford to hab enny slow-downs inna gut-depawtmint.) And inna Springtime when your bond-mate is sheddin' da heaviest load ob fur inna year, dis means you are grooming just about twenty-four/sebben, so you need to eat a Whole Lotta Hay to keep dat ingested fur moving along through your digestive system.

Except the quality obba Hay during the early Spring, whenna shed issa werst isn't so good.

Whut I'm talking about heer, issat The New Hay Crop issn't in yet, and we're still werking offa leebings ob Last Year's Harvest.

Yeah. Maman and Dadda hadda noo bale delivered yestidday, and don't you know dat it was frumma same cutting assa bale fumma last time!

And here was me finking it was gonna be a whole noo bale ob noo, fresh hay, and here were my innerds, looking forwards to eating it, too, onna'count obba fakt dat I had just finished grooming MissyBun frum stem to stern (inklooding paddle-feets) and she was all happy wif me and ebberyfing, and dere wassa whole wotta fur making its way through my digestive system - and whut we got wassa whole pile da size ob Manhattan dat wasn't Noo Hay, but just the same Old Hay inna Noo Bale.

And Maman sed, "Da noo Hay Crop issn't in yet."

And Dadda said, "Too early yet. Late May, early June bifore da bunnies see dat."

And I'm finking dat MissyBun was Wun Happy Bunny, habbing been groomed and habbing had our bonding thus made that much stronger by the accomplishment ob dis social ritual, and alla dat happy stuff, and here was I wiffa big pile ob timothy hay frum Last Year's Harvest.

And ebben CloverBun who is usually preddy upbeat cos she issa Very Positive Bunny sed, "My bum hurts." when Beebe held his nose up to be cleaned. Again.

Well, I mean, can you blame her? Beebe currently hassa messy nose onna'count ob being sik, and Clover is trying to groom and comfort him, and he's not hextactly got alla his "acorns inna same basket", so to speak, inna furst place onna'count ob his habbing been raised assa Skool Bunny. And he's habbing Trubble grooming her onna'count obba fakt dat he is:
1.) Old and
2.) Sik and
3.) Nuts ennyway
And dat's not ebben going innu da fakt dat she is three times bigger den he is, so dat ebben on a Good Day (which he hasn't hexactly had too menny ob lately) Grooming His Missus issa Rilly Big Job for dat One Tiny Bunny.

So Clover looks like a hextploding dandelion-puff, and Beebe, da poor guy, looks a liddle, snotty bunny, and now dere is alla dis good-quality-but-Last-Year's-Hay dat is s'sposed to help her moob alla his snotty fur dat is clogging up her digestive system on its way fru to da udder end obba bunny.

We are not talking Happy Bunnies here.

Grooming issa social bond dat holds da Warren togedder. Wiffoud it, rabbits gots No Smell, which means dat we hab no social identity assa Group. Grooming your bondmate issa way ob telling her, "I lub you" and "You and Me is We"; it's whut puts da OUR in Our Warren.

But wif dat OUR dat we get frum grooming, comes fur-inna-digestive-system for which we need our hay. And wouldn't you know it? Just when we're inna middle ob our Heaviest Grooming Season, the Hay Season hasn't ebben started yet.

And den Maman and Dadda comes along, rilly casual-like, passing our raisins and checking butts, and wouldn't you know it?

We're still on this blasted Hay Diet!

-------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 7:33 AM EDT

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Friday, 21 April 2006

George's 4th Strand; Day Number 21 - "Law & Order"
Now Playing: "Law & Order" Theme by Mike Post

7:57 AM
ADA Mr. Mouse's Deposition:

You must understand that, until my arrival at Our Warren I was living first as a single rabbit, then in the company of Ms LuckieBun under the ownership of a gentleman from the nation of Liberia. I knew him as "Dad" and for the purposes of this deposition will refer to him as "Dad From Liberia."

With Dad From Liberia, I shared an apartment in which I was given my own space with all the proper food and sleeping arrangements anybun would require. There were regular treats and pets. Dad went out every morning to work and I spent the majority of my day napping until he returned. Upon his return, he would speak to me in a friendly manner and make food for himself, after which, he would open my enclosure, and he and I would sit together on the sofa. He would give me a bowl of small cereal squares and he would eat the food he had prepared for himself.

While we ate, he would push a button on a box across from the sofa and a group of other hoomins who appeared behind the words: Law & Order would enter our room.

These Law & Order visitors were all hoomins. None of them were rabbits. All of them appeared to be "detectives" and "ADA's" and they arrived every evening at the same time, and departed when it was time for me to return to my enclosure. They did not leave their Law & Order box, but they talked to us and to each other.

Over time, I came to regard these "detectives" and "ADA's" as friends who came to visit with us when Dad From Liberia returned from work. I noticed that there was special "music" that played when they were about to arrive, and special pluck-pluck music between their conversations with each other. There was the same music at the end of their time with us as there was at the beginning, so that the time they shared with us was bracketed (you could say) by a musical "theme".

These "visits" from the hoomins of Law & Order continued every evening for five years.

During the time of these visits, I noticed that the visitor named "Jack McCoy" seemed to be especially interesting. I began to watch him carefully, noting that he appeared to be important to the other Law & Order hoomins because he did a majority of the talking while the others listened. He also dressed well, which is something that I, as a fairly meticulous rabbit, value.

He had, I believe, only one true failing and that was an apparent fondness for wearing silly-looking hats. I have no idea why hoomins feel the need to pose in headgear that makes them look as if they have been deprived of their original fur. Why replace what looks so normal and natural with alien zig-zag patterns? Why wear hanging strings, ear-flaps or hide their eyes beneath floppy brims? It makes no sense, but as soon as the weather in the Law & Order box seems to include cold and snow, Jack turns up wearing a stoopit-looking hat.

As I said, the visits from Law & Order continued. At some point, (I don't recall exactly when) Dad From Liberia brought home LuckieBun to share the apartment with me, so that I would not become lonely while he was away at work.

LuckieBun was an intact, mild-natured, mainly white, female miniLop bunny. She also enjoyed visits with the Law & Order box, but not so much as I, as she tended to be more concerned with food. I understand that miniLops often are rather fixated on where their next meal might be hiding out while they're not actively consuming it.

Shortly after LuckieBun arrived to live with us, disaster struck in the form of an intact, female hoomin who came to live with Dad From Liberia. She did not like bunnies in the house and ordered Dad From Liberia to (and I quote) "GET RID OF THOSE RABBITS!"

Unwilling to abandon us, and fearful of selling us, Dad From Liberia cuddled us close and held out as long as he could against this unaltered female who shared his living-space. Eventually, she prevailed and he took us to a V-E-T's. There was water coming out of his eyes as I had observed happening to various visitors during especially stressful times inside the Law & Order box.

Then, inexplicably, Dad From Liberia took us from the office of the V-E-T and brought us here to Our Warren. I am not sure how this happened, or why, but suddenly LuckieBun and I were accepted and adopted into Our Warren by the critically ill, de-facto Top Bun, Belinda Bunny (originator of the Hay Diaries), and an ancient miniLop Senior Top Bun named me, Hunny. (George Bunny, who took over typing the Hay Diaries when Belinda Bunny passed to the Rainbow Bridge in July of 2004, and who is now Top Bun, was a very youngbun at the time of our arrival here.)

LuckieBun passed to the Rainbow Bridge shortly after we arrived at Our Warren, just before Belinda Bunny. I miss both of these unique and special bun-gurls very much.

In the Winter of 2005, Maman and Dadda moved Alla Us Togedder from the Old House to this New House. Our Warren was given a Noo Bun Room that put us on the same general territory as some place called the Sitting Room.

You can well imagine my surprise when one evening as I was sitting in my habbytat in the Noo Bun Room when I suddenly heard the music of my old friends from the Law & Order box coming from the Sitting Room! I had not seen them since leaving the previous place I shared with my Dad From Liberia and LuckieBun!

As soon as I heard the pluck-pluck music that plays between conversations on Law & Order, I began to try to attract somebun's attention. I created a Disturbance: I threw toys, tipped over my water crock, and upset my pootie box. I threw hay as far and as fast as I could, doing everything within my powers as a small rabbit to call hoomin attention to the fact that I could hear my former friends visiting in another room and was demanding to be let out, as formerly, to see them!

Eventually, after what seemed to me to be a very long time Maman appeared in the doorway to the Noo Bun Room and, upon seeing her, I began to bounce up and down, and to grunt, telling her in plain Lagomorphin to get me out of my habbytat and take me into the Sitting Room where I could hear my friends' Law & Order music playing.

One thing about Maman is that she is dense. She is not willfully dense, but she is dense-by-nature. Whereas I believe Jack McCoy wears a stoopit hat for reasons obscure to even himself, Maman needs to wear one to keep her thoughts contained inside her head.

I finally had to stand up on my back feets, place my front paws on the sides of my habbytat and almost be reduced to begging to be picked up and taken into the Sitting Room where I knew my Law & Order friends would be waiting.

By the time Maman understood what was required of her, and had picked me up and carried me into the Sitting Room, my friends in the Law & Order box were GONE!

I cannot adequately express the enormity of my disappointment.

The term "BUGGERRIT!" comes to mind.

The following night, I again heard the music that announced the arrival of my Law & Order friends and at once repeated my attempts to gain hoomin attention.

This time, I was noticed by "Dadda" who displays somewhat more sense than the sweet-natured but dim-witted Maman. "Dadda" picked me up and took me into the Sitting Room where I was dismayed to discover that my Law & Order friends were just leaving! I was in time to witness the tail-end of the musical performance and the arrival of two strangers seated under a banner that read NBC10 News at 11!

At which point, I recall Dadda asking Maman, "Do you think Mouse wanted to watch Law & Order?"

And I remember Maman replying, as is her usual habit, with a long dissertation on The History Of Our Warren known amongst rabbits as Da Lore, listing all previous members of Our Warren who had ever "watched tellyvision" (whatever that means!) in the past.

After this long recitation, I believe that she and Dadda formed the opinion that I was to be brought into the Sitting Room when my friends from Law & Order were next expected to arrive.

This was, I additionally believe, to be done by way of a "test" to see if this was what I "expected"!

The following evening, I was sitting in my habbytat in the Noo Bun Room, quietly enjoying some carefully selected strands of premium Timothy Hay, when Dadda entered the room, and without preamble, began to tug and pull at my habbytat as though it was some kind of mobile vehicle!

Then Maman joined him, and calling out to me, "Hang on, Mouse!"

And whilst repeating this inane remark, the two of them wheeled me out of the Noo Bun Room, through the room known as the Kitchen, over a carpet and through an additional room known as the Dining Room, bumped me over an other carpet and down long, narrow room known as The Hallway and maneuvered my habbytat (with me inside, holding on for dear life!) into the Sitting Room.

There, I was taken from my habbytat and seated on Maman's lap on the sofa, and the box across the room was turned on.

I moved from Maman's lap at once to find my own cushion. Let the record show that I pay attention to my friends and do not like being distracted by a lot of what hoomins call "petting" while I am visiting with my friends from Law & Order.

Maman was consuming some kind of small squares of cereal, so I nipped her to remind her to share, which, to her credit, she did.

And then, after some totally useless business about hoomin forms of transportation and "zoom-zoom" with very loud, crass music, I heard the theme-song announcing the arrival of my friends in Law & Order.

I must say, I was very, very touched and pleased to see them again!

The detectives, Green and Fontana, are still chasing bad guys through the streets of New York City. I must say that Det. Green looks very well, and I am lost in admiration at Det. Fontana's splendid sense of fashion!

Jack McCoy is still prosecuting criminals in the justice system and serving as an inspiration to youngbuns everywhere. His sense of duty and tireless public service have certainly inspired me to work hard within RIFRAF for justice and fairness for all animals, everywhere!

I sat still and watched my friends in Law & Order for the entire hour they were with us, side on (which is normal for rabbits as we do not share hoomin binocular vision) and without moving, except to eat my squares of cereal. Maman and Dadda concluded (correctly) that I enjoyed visiting with my friends and resolved to make it possible for me to visit with them each time they returned to the Sitting Room which more or less seems to average once-per-week (and sometimes more!).

Please allow the record to show how happy I am to see Law & Order friends again! They remind me of my old friend Dad From Liberia who took LuckieBun and me into his heart and cared so much for us that he found a good place like Our Warren for us when Bad Things Threatened our former happiness.

And, further, please allow the record to reflect how happy I am to be living with these nice, slightly dense hoomins who drive me around in my habbytat and care enough about rabbits in their nice, slightly dense way to try and understand things that, however strange they seem to them, bring happiness to small rabbits.

I would also like the record to show that I believe that The World needs smart people like the detectives and the Executive Assistant District Attorneys but I also believe that The World needs nice, slightly dense people in it, too; People of good will, and good intent, who are not afraid to love house-bunnies.

I, Mr Mouse of Our Warren, house-rabbit, swear that the above is the whole truth and nothing but the truth to the best of my knowledge and ability to relate.

Signed: Mr Mouse of Our Warren

Given this day, Friday, the twenty-first day of April, 2006.

Posted by Our Warren at 12:22 PM EDT

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Tuesday, 18 April 2006

George's 4th Strand, Day 18: Hay Diet
Now Playing: "It's The End Ob Da Werld As We Know It"

Wook at dis! I just found out dat inna space dat says "Now Playing" a "blogger" (which is whut I am) is s'sposed to putta name obba musicks dat illystrates dere mood or da mood ob dere posty. So I hadda wook around onna 'puter, found a song dat would sorta talk aboud whut I'm gonna post about and put it inna "Now Playing" line. So if you know dis song dat I put inna "Now Playing" line, (which is by some groop called "REM") you can sing along while you read this posty. Because dis title pretty much reflekts how Alla Us Togedder heer at Our Warren feel about Maman's Stoopit Hay Diet.

Oh, and by da way, I know whut da odder TOOL fings onna Blog Page are for, wike "Mood" (shows a smiley face fing) and "Topic" (puts stuff innu cattygories) but I don't use them onna'count obba fakt dat I fink dey are Not Needed By Bunnies. Mebbe hoomins want preddy, shiney tools, but I can't see da point ob dem for me. Sum fings just take up more space den dey are worf if you know how to use werds to say whut you rilly mean.

So on to my REAL TOPIC TIDAY which happins to be Whut Happined Last Nite.

I mean, if you know sumfing is coming, then you can sort ob prepare yourself for it, but when sumfing hits you wiffoud enny warning, den, well, you know, sumtimes those around you can hab "unhextpected reactions", lemme tell you.

And I can guess you could say that we knowed dis was coming because it had arrived bifore. But still.

It all started back wif Hawthorn who was husbun to Belinda Bunny who was Da Bunny who started so menny fings, inklooding dis Hay Diaries Blog.

Well, Wun Day, Maman notised dat Hawthorn and Hunny (who was Top Bunning at that time, cos he was still a YoungBun back den) were habbin' problems inna Pootie Departmint.

Now, ebberybunny knows dat All Problems Wif Pooties can be solved by HAY, so Maman anna V-E-T decided datta "Best Way" to make Hawthorn and Hunny feel bedder inna Pootie Departmint was to gib dem HAY to eat, alla time, and No Green Bag Pellets and worser, NO TREATS for awhile!

And, because each bunny, both Hawthorn and Hunny, had hungry wifebuns, the only way Maman could be sure dat dey would be eating ONLY HAY was to make sure that there was ONLY HAY inna habbytat to be eated. So she taked away ebberybunny's pellets and gibbed ebberybunny ONLY HAY to eat, which da V-E-T said, was hokay to do because pellets only make bunnies FAT!

Notis dat NO Bunnies were consulted during dis whole process ob creating a "diet" to make bunnies feel bedder!

Yeah.

Well, ennyways, Now, atta First Sign dat ennybunny in Our Warren ebben might be habbin' Pootie Problems, Maman starts Alla Us Togedder onna HAY DIET onna Theory dat It Will Help The Pootie Problems for da bunny habbin' dem, and even bedder for ebberybunny else, It Can't Hurt if ebberybunny else eats ONLY HAY!

So, ebben though we allus hab alla fresh Timothy Hay dat we wants, we now hab MORE OB IT!

Yeah. We gots mounds and mounds.

Dadda brought it in lastest nite, just afta he and Maman hadda look at Ms Clover's butt.

Now it is NOT Ms Clover's fault datta great big hair-pootie falled outta her butt. Beebe, her husbun has been sick and he can't groom her very well, and besides, she's about three times his size. As Dadda says, he needs to make chalk marks to know where he leebed off grooming her ennyways, and when he's sick, he don't habba prayer ob keeping up wif her in Shedding Season. She does hab very clean and well-groomed ears, though, so it's not like he's letting her go or ennyfing, but she does habba lotta loose fur, particuarly around her nether-regions which is hard to get to when you allus "begin atta beginning" obba bunny (which means da ears), so to speak, wike Beebe does.

So it's not Ms Clover's fault dat she has alla dis fur in her pootie system, and she is eating HAY to get rid ob it, which is why she hadda gynormous fur-pootie fall out, but then Maman and Dadda found it inna habbytat, and dat's when alla dis HAY-talk started.

Just mounds and mounds obba stuff.

And at furst when Dadda brought it in and put it in our habbytat, you know, Missy and I started burrowing unnerneaf ob it and tossing it around, and den, suddinly, Missy poked her nose up fru alla da hay, wooked at me and sed,

"Hey, waidaminit! Wheredaheck are alla da treats?"

And I'm wike, "Howdaheck do I know? I can't hardly see ennyfing onna'count ob alla dis hay Dadda put in here."

And Missy sort ob waded through da hay to where our pellet bowl is screwed innu da wall and wooked in and den wooked at me and demanded,

"And where's our pellets, huh?"

So I sort ob bulldozed my way to the frunt obba habbytat and periscoped up, and wooked ober at where Ms Clover and Beebe are, and they're up to their necks in Hay, too.

And Beebe called out, "YO!"

So I axted him if he'd seen da Raisin Can going around yet, and he just said "YO!" again, cos he wassa School Bunny for too long bifore he was rescued, and has fortygotten most obba Lagomorphan ebberybunny mostly knows.

So I axted Mr Mouse and he sed Maman and Dadda were gibbing Da Dawg his dinner and would probably hand out treats afta dat.

But den I heared Dadda say he was going Uppastairs to feed Da Catz, and den Da Light Dawned.

We were onna Hay Diet!

Well, just as I thought it, da same Light Dawned on MissyBun, and I thought she was gonna go inside out, she was that beside herself.

Her miniLop ears raised themselves until dey was standing out straight frum her head, and she looked like a heelycopter about to take off, and she stuck her big, white nose straight up inna air and yelled atta top ob her voice:

"Inna werds ob Belinda Bunny, I Can't Be Habbin' Wif Dis!"

And because I am not stoopid, I got myself buried unnerneaf ob dat hay, cos Missy proceeded to dismantle our habbytat. Toys started flying ebberywheres - furst da light balls-wif-bells-in, den da heavier Baby-Barrel-Rattle flew rite past my hed and banged innu da side obba habbytat. Den she started throwing her weight around, and Missy has some weight, lemme tell you! She swung her butt and sent dat Wadder Bowl skidding across the habbytat, and then she started attacking the Pootie Boxes inna corner wif both paws and her teeths.

And dat's aboud when Maman came innu Da Bun Room to see "whuttaheck alla fuss was aboud."

And Missy was so mad about suddinly being onna Hay Diet wif NO TREATS dat she kept on yanking and pulling atta pootie box wif both paws and her teeths, right in frunt ob Maman!

So I stuck my nose up outta da Hay and mentioned to Maman dat mebbe she bedder do sumfing about dis, onna'count obba fakt dat Missy was making a lotta noise and Missy could keep on making a lotta noise like dis all nite long, lemme tell you.

And Dadda commed down frum feeding Da Catz, and he sed, "I fink we'd bedder gib dem sum raisins."

And Maman wooked thoughtful for a minit, and den went toda cupboard and got da Raisin Can. And she gibbed Dadda sum raisins for Mr Mouse and gabe sum by hand to Ms Clover.

And Missy sort ob gave up onna pootie-pans when she seed da Raisin Can and sat sulking inna corner wif dis Dangerous Wook in her eyes.

And because I am not stoopid, I stayed where I was wif ebberyfing but my hed and ears buried inna HAY.

Now rite then, whin Maman started handing out raisins by hand, we should hab knowed sumfing was going on, but Ms Clover was busy gibbing Maman Da Royal Bunny-Bunny ob Displeasure to show how angry she was wif da whole HAY DIET ishoo, so she couldn't break form to say ennyfing, and Beebe, well, he's just Beebe, so all he did was call out, "YO!", when he gotted his raisins frum Dadda, and dat didn't mean much ob ennyfing to ennybun.

But Missy and I should hab guessed whuttaheck was gonna happin.

And we didn't.

So were WE ebber sus'prised and 'mazed whin Dadda stopped by our habbytat and handed us...

TWO.

We got TWO measley raisins! EACH!

And then Dadda closed the top ob our habbytat and said, "Nite, Bunnies!" and turned off the Bun Room Light.

And there's me, inna dark, blinking, and it's all silent, but it's that kind of silent that comes while you watch a firewerk going up inna sky. There's nuffin, justa spark travelling upward inna hurry, but you know the *bang* is in dere sumwheres.

And da firewerk's name was Missy and she hit me full-force inna butt, which is considerable whin you bemember she doesn't habba whole lotta room to get up speed.

So I piked myself up frumma corner and was, like, "Whuttaheck?"

And dat's whin she hit me a sekond time.

So I got up and took off afta her, because I am not a Baby Bunny ennymores and, wike Hunny sed, when you are Top Bunning, there's just so much ob dis Nonsence Dat You Are Willing To Take. And just like Hunny teached me, I yelled, "Shaddup, Missy!"

And we hadda widdle run-'round.

And then, afta it was quiet again onna'count ob Missy habbin' Blowed Off Steam, I heered Maman say to Dadda, "Whut's up wiffa rabbits, dear? Is sumfing wrong do you fink?"

And den I heered Dadda: "It's just George and Missy, love. They do love their hay."

And Missy mumbled, "Lunatics."

And Mr Mouse sed, "Idiots."

And Ms Clover had her mouf full, and being a lady, she didn't say ennyfing,

But Beebe sed, "YO!"

And dat's when I bemembered dis liddle song dat I put inna "Now Playing" sekshun for you to read: "It's The End Ob Da Werld As We Know It...and I feel fine..."

------------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:59 AM EDT

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Monday, 17 April 2006

George's 4th Strand; Day Number 17
Now Playing: Pootie Promises

Yeah. Here we go again.

This Gardin stuff is gonna be The End obba'us all, lemme tell you. I know whut Maman promised Hunny, about having a Forever Rose Gardin ob his very own with her Grandmother's Birdbaf and Stone Rabbits and alla those things, but she had NO IDEA whut she was getting Alla Us Togedder into when she promised him, either.

This is mainly because Promises are like pooties foot-flicked into the water-bowl. At first, there's nothing happining, just the pootie lying there in the bottom obba bowl, but preddy soon, there's pootie all through the water.

And that's how it's been wif dis Gardin fing. At furst, there was just Maman, finking about it. Then there wassa Rose Bushes. Then Glubs. Then a Hat to keep the sun of her hed. Then Dadda Anna Traktor. Then Dadda, the Tracktor anna Tracktor House, then Dadda, the Tracktor, anna House Forda Tracktor's Stuff...

And now, dere issa Pwoblem Obba Dawg Anna Tracktor.

Now, Dadda comes frum sumplace in Inkland called da West Country, which is sumtimes called "Zummerzet" or "Devonsheer" (I don't fink it is spelled wike dat, but I'm going wif whut I heer). An alla Border-Collie Dawgs inna West Country LUBS to ride on Tracktors.

At least, dis is whut Dadda says.

He says dat ebbery Tracktor inna Zummerzet and Devonsheer comes complete wiffa collie-dawg eidder perched onna top, next toda driver, or else wiffa collie-dawg riding high onna trailer being towed along behind. And dat collie-dawgs libbing all ober in Zummerzet and Devonsheer just LUB to heer da sound obba Tracktor motor starting up because they know dat dis sound means they are going for a ride wif their Person.

Well, apparently dis only applies to Border Collie-dawgs libbing in Zummerzet and Devonsheer in Inkland, because it sure means nothing to Our Marc-the-Border-Collie-Dawg who is libbing here at Our Warren.

Marc HATES the Tracktor. He ebben HATES da liddle cart Dadda bought for him to ride along in behind da Tracktor.

And Dadda says he paid good munny for dat cart, too.

So ebbery time Dadda opins the doors toda Tracktor's House and starts up da Tracktor's motor, Da Dawg goes NUTZ! He Rushes atta Tracktor, and he Barks atta Tracktor and he Threatens it, and he Snarls and he even Bites atta Tracktor's tires!

And Dadda says if he keeps dat biznezz up, he's gonna gedda slap 'round'is ear, mister.

Anna Dawg is like, "Huh?"

And so, whinebber da Tracktor hasta come out, Maman makes Da Dawg go inside obba Houz where he lies down unnerneaf ob Missy and me and whines about being "Hextklooded" - which issa berry bad fing if you are a Dawg. Being "Hextklooded" is as bad for a Dawg as being OnAlone is for a bunny, you see, because it means that Your Pack Does Not Want You, and that You Are Not Part Of Your Family. It is a very, very sad fing to happin to a Dawg.

So on Saturday, Maman finally came toda Conclusion that since a collie-dawg's "natchural place" is onna Tracktor, Our Dawg was just misinformed and whut he needed wassa bit ob "de-sensitivity training". So she snapped a lead onna Dawg and told him he was gonna go meet da Tracktor and he was gonna Like It.

Anna Dawg was like, "Huh?"

And Missybun sed to me, "Y'know, dis has 'Disaster' written all ober it."

And I figgered Missy was rite, onna'count obba fakt dat, Maman has no sense ob balance enny more and walks wiffa stick, and here she is, attached by a string to a bouncy collie-dawg who Hasn't Gotta Kloo.

So I sed dat to Maman, but Maman sed, wike she was mind-reading (which is sumfing Mamans can do):

"Wookit, I used be around horses, and I figure if I could control a twelve-hundred pound horse when I was seventeen, I can control a border-collie when I'm three-or-four times older. Dawgs are exponentually - or something - smaller than horses, which, in reality are only very large rabbits with smaller ears and have hooves - and I can walk rabbits on a harness with no problem, so there's no reason in the world why I can't walk the Dawg..."

And Missy wooked at me and just shook her hed. And Ms Clover glanced up, and said, "I can't look. Maybe Beebe can look, but I can't look."

And Beebe just turned his back on the whole ishoo because he's not as dumb as ebberybun finks he is. And Mr Mouse glared, mainly because he's almost as good as Missy at recognising when Maman is drifting happily Up Da Estuary Wiffout Sufficient Means Ob Locomotion.

Well, you know, for once in her life, my big, beautiful bunwife was wrong!

She won't admit it, but it's TROO. Maman came in frumma yard still hokay anna Dawg did listen to her re-training stuff and stopped walking in her Hunny's Our Warren Forever Memorial Gardin and quit charging Dadda's Tracktor!

So that was good.

Whut wasn't so good was that a liddle later on, Maman went outta Back Door wif her camera, saying she hadda take some pikchurs for Auntie Grace-in-Kin-Tuck-Eee and Auntie Jane-in-Callyfornia. And preddy soon, we heered a scream, and Dadda comed running, and don't'cha know, Maman had falled ober inna Gardin!

Yeah!

She had gotted chased by a BEE! Wunna dose great big bumbly bees dat has no sting, and no bite had buzzed at her eye and it had skert her, and because she was skert, she had tried to run, and she had falled and twisted up herself so that she was hurt and Dadda hadda help her walk innu da Houz. Dey hadda Talk aboudda hospiddle, but Maman won and she is inna Sitting Room cos Dadda sed so.

So now her Promise to make dis special Forever Memorial Rose Gardin for dear, old, undemanding Hunny has turned out to affect ebberybun in Our Warren: Da Dawg is having to accept Dadda's Tracktor, da Catz are stuck uppastairs wifouts fusses, and we're stuck wif Maman hobbling around not "quite" catering to our needs while Dadda werks and waits on her.

Just like one pootie inna water-bowl - now it's got innu ebberyfing!

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:36 AM EDT

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Saturday, 15 April 2006

George's 4th Strand; Day Fifteen
Now Playing: The Day Bifore Easter - Hoomin Lore

Well, dere they go again.

Maman and Dadda anna Dawg. Out innu da Back Gardin.

Maman has her Pockit-Aprin and Gardin Glubs on, anna Dawg has his Toy and as MissyBun says, he's looking Hopeful, as usual.

You can't beat a Border Collie for Hopeful. They are the most Hopeful Dawgs onna planet, Maman says. Zachary-Marcus is allus hoping sumbun is gonna play Ball wif him. He's so Hopeful dat he's gotten his Toy outta his Toy Basket at Elebben O'Clock at NITE, axting Dadda to frow it so they can play Ball inna Gardin.

Can you beleeb dat?

Well, it's happined.

You sure can't beat that Dawg for being Hopeful.

So he's gone Outside and taken his Toy wif him, even though it preddy much looks to Alla Us Togedder like Maman and Dadda are gonna go Werk Inna Gardin.

It rained last nite and Maman sed she hasta go wook at her Dill. I dunno whut da Dill is s'sposed to be doing, but she sed she hasta go look at it. She planted sum just bifore the rain onna'count obba fakt that you are s'sposed to plant Dill just bifore it rains, becos rain ennergizes the seeds so they grow more.

That's whut she sed.

Well, ennyfing that makes there be more Dill for us to eat issa Good Fing.

And Dadda sed he hasta "enlarge" Hunny's Memorial Rose Gardin ebber since Maman sed she wants to put inna Antique Birdbaf that usta be her Grandmother's. So Dadda taked sum string and sum sticks anna measuring tape outside wif him. And he's alreddy called us "Buggers" inna good-humoured kinda way, so you can preddy much tell dis is gonna be a Somerset kinda morning.

Did I mention dere are eggs boiling onna stove? The place stinks wike eggs. Apparently Maman is gonna colour eggs for dinner tomorry. I hab no cloo why. She telled Dadda dis is whin she misses eidder being a grandchild or habbin' dem. I dunno which.

And dere issa wotta Chocolate candy and stuff in bags downnastairs inna Pantry dat she is not telling Phil about onna'cout obba fakt he will eat it. He's 'parently s'sposed to eat it, but not 'till she says so. Or sumfing. She hasta get it innu baskits, she sed.

Dadda made a Big Deal aboudda "Cadbury Eggs", too, and I hadda break it to him gently dat Bunnies don't lay eggs. (Dere are times whin I rilly fink tellyvision is a berry bad fing, no madder whut Mouse says aboudda "Law & Order" shows.)

And Maman is wanting Dadda to go to sumplace called da Cathedral tomorry, too.

I fink whut I'm seeing heer is sumfing frum Maman's being a widdle girl, dat "Easter" is prob'ly a bigger deal for her den ebben dat "Chrissymus" is for most hoomins. And I fink it has to do wif her Lore.

Ebben hoomins hab dere Lore, just like Rabbits do, and it mite be as strong and also be handed down frum wun person to anudder in doing fings like planting Dill just bifore da rain, hiding chocolate candy, and putting a birdbaf out inna gardin.

At least dat's whut I fink.

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:15 AM EDT

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Friday, 14 April 2006

George's 4th Strand; Day Number 14
Now Playing: Lent
So tidday I was reading e-mail and I ound a flag on dis wun in Maman's "InBox":

"Are yoo not doing hay diaries no more George? - Loopy Bunny"

And I wint downnastairs to where Maman was folding laundry and I axted her, "Hey! Whuttaheck is happing around heer? Aren't I keeping up wif The Hay Diaries Blog ennymore?"

And Maman stopped folding Dadda's PetBunny Anniversary shirt and wooked at me and sed, "Well, I habba contract to edit dat book for somebunny."

So I sed, "And dis effects me, exactly, how?"

And Maman finked fora sekond and den she sed, "Well, it prob'ly doesn't. Mebbe you gabe up typin' The Hay Diaries for Lent."

So I finked aboud dis, and den realised I didn't know whuttaheck she meant by da werd "Lent". So I axted, and she 'splained dat Lent is when Christians, specifically Anglican Christians (which we happen to be), gib up sumfing so they know whut it is like to hab to go wiffout sumfing dat is 'portant to dem.

And I sed to Maman, "Wookit. I know alla'bout going wiffoud stuff dat is 'portant to me. I wassa Easter Dump, bemember? I got left inna empty cardboard box, all OnAlone, inna V-E-T's office 'till you came and piked me up to come and lib in Our Warren. Ebben if I amma Anglican bunny, I don't need to gib up stuff onna'count ob Lent in order to know whut not habbin' stuff is alla'bout. A whole lotta us hab Lent alla time and we didn't ebben axt for it!"

And Maman folded anudder shirt and she sed, "Dis is troo. But it is good dissyplin to bemind ourselves to be grateful for what we hab by not habbin' it."

So I added, "Mebbe dat werks for hoomins, but bunnies is dif'frunt. We hab to go a wotta times wiffoud fings and are preddy amazed whin fings go right. Wike take my pal Norman who libs in Callyfornia. So much has gone wrong in his life dat he can't beleeb stuff is actually going right for him for a change! No wonder he isn't doing binkies and rushing around trying to be a sweetbun and get pets alla time. He's preddy much convinced dat since hoomins hab allus failed him inna past and sent him away to shelters, Auntie Carla isn't going to be enny dif'frunt."

And Maman sed, "But YOU know Auntie Carla IS dif'frunt. Your pal Norman is in his Forever Home now. He's not going to be dropped off at a shelter again."

So MissyBun, who was habbin' da folded laundry stacked on top ob her habbytat poked her hed up between Dadda's tee shirts anna stack ob towels and sed, "Wookit Wady, whut about Our Beebe? He started out assa School Bunny, getting poked wif pencils an' teased by a bunch ob kids an' bein' left ober weekends inna fishtank, an' bein' sent home to be wif families dat didn't know ennyfing aboud habbin' bunnies, and fed all kinds ob junkfoods dat wassn't good for him. An' den he got taked by a student-teacher cos nobunny wanted him an' he hadda lib inna noisy dorm inna tiny, widdle cage an' he still didn't ged enny proper food. An' DEN he got parked wif sum rilly stoopid hoomins in sumplace in Marywand where sumbunny joined a e-list just to get sumbunny else to come take him offa dere hands.

"An' he's s'sposed to 'gib up sumfing' for Lent? How menny years was he 'Not Wanted'? Mebbe he culd gib up sum ob does years. He doesn't ebben know how old he is or where he was borned! He doesn't ebben know his right name. He came here knowing his name was Letter B, Letter B, but he didn't know whutta letters stood for. All he knew was dat he was afraid ob hands an' hadda attack dem, an' dat he couldn't trust nobun. Wook how long it took for him to trust Ms. Clover! And mostly all he can bemember to say is 'Yo!'

"How long did Our Beebe hab nuffin'? For almost his whole life, until he got to Our Warren. So why shuld he hab to gib up ennyfing now? He's a Senior Bun, and he's sick an' ebben Doctor Sharin can't find out whuttsamatta wif him. And just cos it's dis Lent fing, do you rilly fink Beebe shuld hab to gib up ennyfing when he can't ebben bemember enuf stuff to gib enny ob it up?"

And den MissyBun plopped down and went to sit on her pootie-box as she does when she's upset about sumfing.

So I waited a minit for Maman to pet her, and den I sed, "Da fing is, Lent is hokay for hoomins, I guess, if you mebbe hab a wot and hab fortygotted whut it is wike not to hab ennyfing. Or mebbe it is hokay to gib up sumfing if it won't mess up sumfing for sumbun else. Budda fakt is, Easter is comin' on Sunday and sum hoomins might still be finking dat buying a baby bunny rabbit for a kid is cute. Or dat buying a baby bunny for dere kid will make dere kid love dem. Or dat buying a baby bunny for dere kid will be a 'memorable 'sperience forda whle family' or sumfing.

"Now Belinda Bunny telled me I couldn't grow old, dat I hadda grow 'Tellygint. And wunna da fings I hab learned is dat Bunnies And Easter Don't Go Together! Knowing dis is part of growing 'Tellygint. And I hab to use da Blog to tell about it, so mebbe some hoomin sumwheres will tell anudder hoomin sumwheres not to buy a baby bunny for alla wrong reasons.

"Da point is, I can't go gibbin' uppa Blog for Lent cos I don't fink dat's da kinda Lent I'm s'sposed to be habbin, lemme tell you."

And Maman wooked at me, and she wooked at MissyBun sitting inna pooty-box, frowning, and she sighed.

"You are right, George." Maman sed.

So she pikt me up and put me inna empty laundry basket and carried me back uppastairs toda Study and heer I am, typin' in Belinda's The Hay Diaries Blog.

And Alla Us Togedder here at Our Warren are urging ebberybun to visit this link:
Make Mine Chocolate! to learn HOW and WHY to Make Mine Chocolate! this Easter and ebbery Easter!

Because as Our Hunny's Friend, the Rev. Dr. Virginia M. Sheay sed, "We are stewards, not owners of the planet."

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 2:49 PM EDT

Updated: Friday, 14 April 2006 10:56 PM EDT

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Tuesday, 7 March 2006

George's Third Strand; Day Number 7
Now Playing: Please Make Mine Chocolate!
Ebberybunny NEEDS to see dis:

Please, please, please go to dis link and read da stories heer. Just do it. It's IMPORTANT.

Fank you.

Frum your friend at Our Warren,

George,
a formerly dumped EasterBunny

Posted by Our Warren at 1:41 PM EST

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