Goerge's Second Strand; Day Number Seven
Now Playing: Da Rite Fing...
Whut a mess!
This is bad
, lemme tell you!
Phil-the-Lad and Alanna, his almost bond-mate, came to Our Warren
again the udder day, and this time
they brought a Cat
Now, this would not bodder Our Warren
assa rool, onna'count obba fakt dat Belinda Bunny
and me, Hunny
hab sed, a long, long time ago, so that it is inna Lore
for ebberybunny to Bemember: Alla Us Togedder, NoBunny OnAlone!
And Belinda blogged about this, and I have, too, so ebberybunny knows Whut Ebbery Werd Ob This Means To Alla Us Togedder at Our Warren
Now, we heer at Our Warren
already gots two Catz
(which are not our fault. Beffy, who is Our Sistah
leebed them with us a long time ago to live heer): Cokie-da-Fat-Cat
who issa Leader Ob Our Chowda, and Beeb
who issa nice, quiet, Senior gurl-cat, anna udder Member ob Our Chowda.
Two Catz is Enuf for Ebberybunny, inklooding Da Dawg
who is not a Cat, but who spends a lot ob time herding Catz around the House, frum this room to that room. Because Herding is his Job, and Border Collies hab to hab A Job, and this is his. Cokie
can't be herded, ob course, onna'count obba fakt that he is very
BIG, and IMPORTANT and just generally In Charge Ob Ebberyfing, and hassa habit ob NOT LISTENING
to ennybunny 'cept Dadda, and that only whin he feels like it.Beep
, onna-udder-paw, is quiet, likes to be herded, and complains to Dadda whenebber Da Dawg
is outside inna Back Garden. Dadda finks she likes Da Dawg
to herd her because she is not-so-big as Cokie, and she uses Da Dawg
assa shield so she can get her share obba food, sunbeams and udder stuff dat Catz like, but don't tend to share.
Phil-da-Lad brings this Noo Cat
with him and Alanna. The Noo Cat
has been heer before, and she is tiny and young and her name is Munchkin
, only Maman calls her Mischief
onna'count obba fakt dat she is causing SO MUCH TRUBBLE!
It is ALL
onna'count obba fakt dat Munchkin/Mischief
doesn't like Beep
, and she doesn't like Da Dawg
and she doesn't like Cokie-da-Fat-Cat
. She doesn't like it that in Our Warren THEY
are the Cats Who Are Heer Furst
and She Is Not
And I don't fink she ebben likes Bunnies, eidder.
Mebbe she just doesn't like ennyfing, inclooding herself.
She (Munchkin/Mischief) came innu da Bun Room
Last Nite saying dat Beep
was piking on her.
And I'm finking, "Beep?"
And Missy is, wike, "Oh Yeah?"
And so Munchkin/Mischief says, "Yeah. I was being a Good Cat, and just like allus
that back-stabbing BEEP comes up and gets me in trubble!"
And Missy's ears start going up, onna'count ob she's starting to fink she's going to Disapprove
. And Missy says, "How'd Dat
And Munchkin/Mischief says, "Dat BEEP said I ate alla her food."
And Missy's ears went up some more, and she axts, "Well, did you eat alla her food?"
And Munchkin/Mischief says, "Well, you see, when I was inna shelter
there wasn't ebber enuf to eat, so I learned that I had to eat as much as I could, because, you see, I'm a 'peshul DWARF KITTY
but nokitty realised it, but I needed
alla food before the others took it. So of course, I had to had to eat it as soon as I saw it. I tried to apologise to that Beep-Cat, but she just looked at me, blinked and said she understood and THEN SHE WALKED AWAY LIKE SHE DIDN'T CARE!
But of course she doesn't unnerstand ennyfing AT ALL
because she's just high-class, rich, common, *lucky* cat and not a DWARF CAT
like I am! And it's so TERRYBUL
to be unforgiven and to allus be blamed like that and all for just being ME!"
And I'm like, well, you know, feeling bad that a cat hasta feel bad, cos NOBUNNY in Our Warren
should feel that they are OnAlone
! (Belinda Bunny teached me that!)
So I says, "Well, Beep issa preddy cat, and she has been heer a long time. And she is very kind. Meebe you can get along wif her."
And Munchkin/Mischief says, "Oh but I tried! I tried! And she is nice to your face and then just turns around and tells Maman
she has No Food
! You don't know Beep! I'm the nicest cat I know, and the peacefullest cat I know, and the prettiest cat I know! Why, inna shelter
, ebbery hoomin wanted to 'dopt me, onna'count obba fakt dat I amma DWARF CAT
and am SPECIAL
, but Beep just doesn't SEE that, does she? She isn't ennyfing SPECIAL herself, but I amma SPECIAL Dwarf Cat
that ebbery hoomin wants to own. There are just so few ob us
inna werld and ebbery hoomin wants one."
And I says, "Ebberybunny's 'peshul. That's whut makes us all equal
And Munchkin/Mischief wooks at me and narrows her eyes and says, "Well Some of us cats are MORE EQUAL than udders!
. And that Beep Cat is just HORRYBUL
, going and telling Maman that she has no food!"
And Ms CloverBun looks over and says, "If you're so extry 'peshul onna'count obba fakt dat you are this 'speshul 'Dwarf Cat' that ebbery hoomin wants, then how come you were inna shelter
inna furst place?"
And Munchkin/Mischief looks at Ms Clover and yeowls, "You're on Beep's side! I've had da hardest life! I was abandoned, and inna shelter
, but I'm a VERY RARE KITTY! You just don't unnerstand!"
And I was trying to show her dat I unnerstood and all, so I started to tell her about how I was left inna box atta V-E-Ts, but Munchkin/Mischief didn't gimme time. She just went on-and-on:
how hard it is to be small, and rare and 'peshul, and how hard it is to nebber fit in ennywheres! And Beep is such a fat, old, common Calico
kitty who finks says she has this and that, but she doesn't tell whut she is like *I* do! And she's heer with alla her stuff and privilages and she's picking on me! And she'll pick on you, too!"
And Ms Clover is, like, *snort*, "Whut? Nobunny picks on bunnies heer! Bunnies rool."
"She will!" Yells Munchkin/Mischief. "She will! And she'll attack you behind your back. Just like George does in his Blog!"
And suddenly, ebberybunny's looking at ME
And I'm like, whutdaheck?
Anna Dawg is looking at me and he's like, "Whoa, George! Is you 'tacking me?"
And so I'm, like, "Whoa."
And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat comes ambling in, cos that's how he walks, and he says, "George, whut hab you been doing behind backs?"
And I'm like, "I just type about Our Warren
"Onna'count ob why?" Axts MissyBun, and now her ears are rilly
standing out, and she's looking rilly
like a Disapproving Rabbit
. "Are you telling fings about me?"
So, wike, whut can I say? Of course I am telling about MissyBun, onna'count ob she is My Big, Bee-You-Tee-Ful Wife-Bun, and she issa Big Part
ob Our Warren
But her ears is standing out frum her hed, and she's got her Disapproving Rabbit Look
And I know I am in Big Trubble Now
. And I habbin't ebben done ennyfing Wrong.
It's just dat Munchkin/Mischief has sort ob put da thought in ebberybunny's hed, and now is walking around and around, purring.
Anna Dawg says, "Are you rilly, rilly typin' behind our backs?"
And I'm like, Whutdaheck?
Ebberybunny knows I type inna Blog. Ebberybunny has knowed aboudda The Hay Diaries
ebber since Belinda Bunny
became the Furst Rabbit Ebber
to habba Personal OnLine Diary ob her very own. And I thought
dey bemembered that when Belinda went toda Rainbow Bridge, and nobunny wanted to continue inna diary Belinda pioneered, dat I stepped forward becos nobunny else wuld
and just "did it". Not
onna'count ob *I* wanted
ennyfing, 'cept to do whut wassa Rite Fing
So I go innu a corner obba pootie box to fink aboud how alla this stuff got so screwed up in so short a time, just by Munchkin/Mischief showing up and start talking about herself.
And whut I fink is dis: Memory issa berry short fing, and mainly made up ob what udders want
to be bemembered, and not whut rilly happins
And Munchkin/Mischief says, "Mebbe sumbun else shuld take ober dat blog. I *wuld* but I wuld be told not to cos I amma Cat."
And Mouse says, "Well, I wouldn't want to make George feel bad, but I suppose I could
take over The Hay Diaries
if you all feel he's doing such a not-so-good job with his typing and can't be trusted."
And I'm finking, I didn't wanna hab dis Blog inna beginning, but I kinda hab grown to like it. Maman says I'm good at blogging, even if she doesn't allus let me have the 'puter when I need it. And now, suddenly, somefing nobun wanted, somebun else wants taken away.
And trust me? Since when can't I be trusted? And now I'm feeling sad. Not angry, just sad.
Figgers.Whut Rilly Happins
is whut's called HISTORY
and it goes innu Da Lore
, and only a few rilly, rilly ebber care
about Da Lore
, me, Hunny told me. But he also sed dat sumbun hasta keep Da Lore
so dat sumday, "The Troof will win out."
And just then, Beep came through, like she ushually does, rilly quiet, not saying much, looking for hay.
Anna Dawg, following her on rilly close
says, "No Catz Inna Bun Room!"
And Beeb says, rilly quiet-like, "Hey, ebberybun! Hullo bunnies! Hullo, Dawg! Can't stay, gotta go!"
And just like dat, she was gone.
And unlike Beep
Munchkin/Mischief is still inna Bun Room
, purring away.
And afta a minute Mouse says to ebberybun, "Well, you know, Beep doesn't Frunt
. She's REAL
and did ennybunny notice? She just came innu heer to say "Hullo" - she didn't come heer to talk about herself or to complain about sumbun else, or to say stuff dat (when you fink about it) is rilly stoopit, wike, 'I Amma Dwarf Cat' or 'George can't be trusted.'"
And he looks at Munchkin/Mischief.
And den Missy's ears starts going down and she starts looking more like Missy and less like she's gonna take off and fly, and she says to me,
"Well, you hab been typin' Belinda's Blog for awhile now.
We allus knowed this, and not cos you talks about it, but onna'count of we knows it. We know whut
you are and who
you are, and we know where
you come frum, ebben though you aren't allus beminding us."
"And," chimes in Ms Clover, "He can't be typin' beind our backs if we can be reading it right in frunt ob our eyes."
"So how," Axts Beebe, "Can sumbun who is doing the Rite Fing
hab so menny udders belieb da Wrong Stuff
"Dis didn't hab to happin." Says Ms Clover. "It's Stoopit
anna waste ob time."
And Missy wooks at Munchkin/Mischief and her ears go up and stand out straight frum her hed, so she has on her Disapproving Rabbit Look
and she says, "It's easy - it's onna'count obba fakt dat somebun Frunts
. Somebun Lies
that somebun issa CAT
And me, who is sitting ober onna pootie box, well, I'm finking ob dis Buk
that Maman and I read togedder inna Sitting Room. And In This Buk
(by this guy named "Terry Pratchett") it says: "A Lie can race around the world seven times before the Truth can even pull its boots on."
------- By George
Posted by Our Warren
at 11:59 AM EST