Now Playing: SNOW!
It's Snowing at Our Warren!
I'm not talking a few little flakes, either - I'm talking the stuff that started last night before we went to bed and is still going on when we waked up.
Not just a liddle SNOW Shower, or mild Minor Flurries,I'm talking a whole, major SNOW EVENT going on!
The kind ob SNOW that the wedderpeoples get all hextchited about, anna Noospeople have "Team Coverage" over.
Dis issa kinds SNOW dat Maman's favourite Wedderman, "Hurricane" Glenn Schwartz (who typed his own Buk aboutta History Ob Wedder In Philadelphia), was ebben onna tellyvision about last nite, and he is so impawtant dat he nebber hasta werk onna Tellyvishon onna Saturday nite unless dere is gonna be a Wedder Event happening!
So you know that this SNOW issa'pawtant SNOW, and not just a reg'lar one.
So last nite, just when we should hab all been settling down inna nice, warm hay to eat and observe da wedder outside obba Our Warren's Memorial Window,Da Dawg comes cruising by wif Dadda coming along behind, saying he hasta go outside innu da Back Gardin.
Now Da Dawg allus hasta go out to visit his Back Gardin, last fing before he will settle down for da Nite. It's some kinda "Dawg Fing" dat he says he hasta do, onna'count ob "Dawg Lore" dat is berry dif'frunt frum Da Lore dat Rabbits know.
So Dadda opins da Back Door forda Dawg to go out innu Da Back Gardin. Now da Back Door is rilly TWO doors, a Big Door, anna Screen Door, and they are nextest to Missy and my Habbytat, and as soon assa Big Door is opin, in blows a HUGE gust ob cold air anna bunch ob snow flakes. Den Dadda opins da Screen Door and out goes Da Dawg.
And wif alla cold air blowing in, I'm wike, "Hey! Shut da door!"
But dere's Dadda, standing dere atta Screen Door, wooking out atta SNOW.
Anna cold air is blowing in, and Dadda turns to Maman and says, "Glenn's right. It's SNOWING a lot."
And Missy's dere, wike, "No joke, Smart Guy! Now close da door!"
And Dadda's still standing dere, wooking outta da Screen Door, and he says to Maman, "It's not all that cold outside."
And I'm finking, "You're saying dat cos it's not your backside dat's habbin' wind blowing up it."
And Mouse says, "I dunno about dat Glenn-guy, but I smell a whole LOT more SNOW onna way. Is Dadda gonna shut dat door or is he gonna let alla cold in heer?"
And Dadda's still standing wiffa Big Door opin, and he says to Maman, "Wook at dat. Da SNOW is almost up to Da Dawg's belly."
And Clover says, "Alla dis cold air blowing in heer can't be good for Beebe's sneezles."
And finally Maman says to Dadda, "You'd better close da door, dear, so we don't heat alla Ewing Township."
Notice da she doesn't say a werd about not heating alla da bunnies!
Ennyways, preddy soon, Dadda's back atta Big Door, pulling it opin soda Dawg can come back in. And as usual, heer comes Da Dawg and he's cobbered wif SNOW.
And Dadda calls out to Maman, "Wook atta Christmas Dawg!"
And he's holding opin bof doors, and alla cold air is pouring in again.
So I've, like, about haddit, and I *thump*.
And Dadda up frum letting inna Dawg and says, "Whut's your pwoblem, Bug-A-Lugs?" and wooks ober at Missy.
And Missy says, "I didn't do dat, George did."
And Dadda says, "Knock it off, Lord Fauntleroy."
So I don't know who he's talking to, so I *thump* again, anna Dawg tries to sneak outta da Bun Room while he's still cobbered in SNOW, becos nobun is paying 'tention to him.
But ob course Dadda sees him anna trail ob muddy foots-prints, and calls him back.
So Dadda gets a towel and wipes offa Dawg. It's wike Maman says: Da Dawg knows dat its SNOWING on his hed, but becos his coat is so fick (kinda like his head) he's not so sure whut's happining toda rest ob his body.
So den dis morning, we bunnies are up and rummaging quietly around in our hay before Light, and there's this Big Flash anna Loud *BANG*.
Which preddy much s'sprised Alla Us Togedder. Beebe, Mouse and I bounced up inna air, and alla us landed wiffa *THUMP* which is whut boy-bunnies is s'sposed to do to warn da Warren ob DANGER.
And den Dadda comes out frumma bedroom wiffa Dawg and Cokie-da-Fat-Cat ambling on behind (cos dis is whut dey do whin dere is DANGER - and they leave Maman inna bed in her nitegown) and Dadda is in Bare Feets, and tying on his Bafrobe.
And just as Dadda hassa wook outta Bun Room Our Warren Memorial Window, dere issa'nudder Big Flash anna'nudder Loud *BANG* and Dadda says, "Heh. Thunder?"
And Maman calls out frumma bedroom, "Yes, when it's a bad SNOW storm, we have thunder with it. Now it's really going to SNOW hard."
And suddenly Da Dawg wooks up and whines, "My Gardin!"
And Mouse is wike, "Whut about it?"
Anna Dawg goes, "Alla MARKS are gonna be gone! No udder dawgs are gonna know its MY GARDIN!"
And I'm wike, "Lookit, Dawg, enny udder Dawgs dat is out in dis wedder is poor, wost dawgs dat gots no homes."
Anna Dawg whines, "You don't unnerstand, George Bunny! I gotta nekkid gardin! It's out dere wif NO MARKS onnit! Oh crap,ohcrap, ohcrapohcrapohcrap!"
And Cokie-da-Fat-Cat says, "If you godda go dat bad, den use da pooty-box. Dadda put one down heer onna'count obba stoopit Munchkin-kitten being uppastairs using Beep's and mine."
Anna Dawg begins making his Peeping Sound at Dadda, which issa Sound dat he makes when he needs to go Outside.
So Dadda, who doesn't know da werds, but unnerstands da Sound, opins da Big Back Door.
Well, he barely gets a chance to opin da Screen Door, but Da Dawg shoots out innu an hextplosion ob SNOW. And I DO mean an HEXTPLOSION.
Onna'count obba fakt dat suddenly, dere is SNOW coming in ebberywheres.
And we're not talking da big, fat useless flakes, eidder, we're talking dose small, business-wike flakes ob SNOW dat spell a-c-c-u-m-u-l-a-t-i-o-n when you pile dem all up. And they have been piling uppa'gainst da Back Door all nite long, until they've made a small wall ob SNOW fru which Da Dawg ploughed at High Speeds.
And dere is now wind, too. Lots of wind dat is blowing in frumma same direction as Our Warren's Memorial Window, which is the same direction as the Big Back Door. Which means when the door opens, it's coming directly innu Da Bun Room.
So I'm tail-uppa'gainst-da-pootie-box, yelling, "Shut da Door, Dadda!"
And Missy's shouting, "Shutta'door!" wif her ears standing straight out frum her hed, and Clover's next in line with the snow is blowing all over her and Beebe, who she has tucked unner'neaf ob her elbow, and she's hollering, "Close da door!" While ober in his corner, away frumma draft, Mouse is just calling out on Gen'ral Principles that it's "COLD! COLD! COLD!" and *THUMPING* for all he's worth.
So Dadda, seeing alla dis snow flying and alla dis wind blowing, tries to shutta Big Door, but da Big Door won't shut.
And dis is onna'count obba fakt dat Cokie-da-Fat-Cat had sort ob sidled his way behind Da Dawg and was trying to see whut was happining onna udder side obba door, which is to say, outside where it is SNOWING.
So he's kinda stuck between da Screen Door anna Dig Door and he's getting squeezed by Dadda pushing onna Big Door.
So Dadda reaches down and shubs Cokie outta-da-way anna Cat goes sliding unnerneaf ob Missy and my habbytat and Dadda slams da door.
Dadda says a lotta bad werds and goes off to make a cuppa'tee inna Kitchin.
Well, now da Cat is Upset cos he got pushed outta da way and hadda go sliding. So Missy and I hear a sorta *grunt* anna Fat-Cat marches out frum unner'neaf obba our habbytat and his face is grim, lemme tell you.
And he goes marching along ober da Bun Room floor, and out innu da Kitchin where Dadda has just poured Maman a cuppa'coffee and den poured sum boiling wadder for his cuppa'tee. And just as Dadda is adding in his tee'bag, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat comes marching along, and plops down beside him and sinks his frunt claws innu da tops ob Dadda's bare foots.
Well, Dadda sort ob jumps up and comes down wiffa *THUMP* anna tee'bag goes *PLOP* innu Maman's cuppa'coffee, and there it sits, bobbing around for a minit, while Dadda rubs his foot, while Cokie marches off towards da bedroom.
And Dadda yells, "You BUGGER!"
And Cokie keeps marching, and Maman calls out frumma bedroom, "Who's a bugger?"
And just den, dere's a *FUMP* frum outside obba Back Door, and that's Da Dawg, trying to get back inside.
So Dadda hobbles innu da Bun Room and pulls opin da Back Doors, and in tumbles Da Dawg, and he's cobbered wif SNOW and he's all hextcited and his tongue is hanging out, and he's wagging all ober da place.
"I marked da yard! I marked da yard! It's mine! It's mine! Wanna see? Wanna see?"
And den he shakes, all over.
And Dadda grabs da towel to dry him off, but its too late - ebberyfing is spattered in wet: da floor, da habbytats, da walls, da bunnies, Dadda's feets, Dadda's legs - just ebberyfing.
And now Missy and I are butt-first inna pootie-box, and I got my eyes closed against da snow flying all ober, and Missy has her ears down, trying to keep da flying wadder outta her hed.
And Maman wanders out frumma bedroom innu da Bun Room in her nitegown, wif her bafrobe all wrapped around her, takes a wook outta da Our Warren Memorial Window and says,
"Wook at alla SNOW! Isn't it beautiful?"
---------- By George