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Saturday, 19 November 2005
George's 11th Strand, Day Numbur 19
Now Playing: Fixing Uppa 'Mergency Plans
Topic: The Next Generation

Well, finally Maman got Phil-the-Lad to habba wook atta tellybishon and he found out whut wassa'matter wiffit (and this issa whole reason why Mouse wassn't been gedding to watch his favourite tellybishon program, Law & Order): the On/Off switch is messed up.

Which is whut Dadda had sed inna beginning when this whole mess started, but wif Maman being the Hysterical Personality dat she is, she figgered datta tellybishon was gonna burn down da whole danged house, so she wuldn't let Mouse watch his favourite program.

Onna'count obba fakt dat one nite she culdn't getta tellybishon to turn off. And she was so 'fraid obbit dat she refused to pull da plug, and hadda call up Phil-da-Lad while he was in line atta Wal-Mart store in Maryland, so she culd get his advice on whut to do becos Dadda wassn't home and she wassa 'fraid obba tellybishon blowing up.

Phil says, "Dere are times when Maman makes NO SENSE!"

Which just goes to show you how much we hab to put up wif to hab her around heer.

But she's a good fooder, so we put up wif her.

Ennyways, Phil-da-Lad came heer wast week-end, wooked atta tellybishion and sed to Maman,

"Yup, it's the On/Off switch, Ma. Just don't let it run too long. When it blows completely, I'll get a new one for ya."

And Maman sed, "Da tellybishon is gonna blow up?"

And Phil sed, "No, Ma. The switch. It will stop werking. I sed "blows completely" assa figger ob speech. It's not going to, you know, explode or anything."

And Maman sed: "Oh."

And dat was dat. He 'splained some complicated stuff bout Hextpansion and Sodder and Sirkits and Maman nodded wike she knowed whut he meant, but I know she didn't. She's bin trained to nod wike dat ebben after her eyes hab glazed ober.

So wast nite, Mouse got to see his show, Law & Order, CSI which he doesn't wike as much assa 'riginal Law & Order but which is hokay, cos it is way bedder den not habbin' enny Law & Order at all.

You see, where Mouse came frum, his former Dadda usta let him out alla time and they wuld watch Law & Order togedder sittin onna sofa. So to Mouse, being able to hear da music and hear da voices on Law & Order is wike habbin' a visit frum old friends. It wets him know datta werld is still all rite, and dere are still sofas and hoomins who lub him.

Mouse unnerstands sights and sounds dat means ebberyfing is safe. Law & Order is part ob his werld, so Maman feels dat it is hokay for him to keep watching it since it makes him feel good. So she watches it wif him, ebben though she mostly reads a buk while it is on.

"Con-tin-noo-it-tee ob En-vy-ron-mint" Maman calls it. She says its important to hoomins as well as to bunnies, and dat we hab to do allus "Pree-serb" it.

Dat's why she and Dadda are werkin' tiday onna "Mergency Plans" for Our Warren. Maman says we gotta habba 'Mergency Plans for whut to do iffa big snow storm or a big wind storm comes along and takes away our Lektricity.

Maman is also typin' up noo E-vak-u-a-shun Plans for Our Warren in case we gotta ged outta da house inna hurry. Our habbytats can be rolled, as Dadda pointed out, which issa berry GUD fing, so we can be rolled rite outta doors and taken toda car. Anna Dawg's leash is rite by Clover and Beebe's habbytat. And there are carriers rite uppastairs forda cats, and wun downnastairs dat dey can fit innu, and pillowcases just-in-case dere issa need to stuff dem into dere to drag dem out.

Maman says,
"You can't plan against ebberyfing, but if you habba plan, you won't panic whin ebberyfing stawts happinin' around you."

And Dadda is makin' sure we hab ways to keep at least one room warm and light for ebberybun in case dere are no Lektricks, cos it gets COLD in Noo Joisey inna Winter.

And Maman is checkin' onna supplies ob food and wadder for Alla Us Togedder in case she and Dadda can't ged toda store.

As Maman says, "Plan now, don't panic tomorry."

So mostly, we are glad dis is going on.

I fink most ob dis is happinin' not cos ob Law & Order but becos Auntie Grace and The Herd in Kin-Tuck-Eee were inna middle obba tornado justa-udderday. And dey were HOKAY mostly cos obba'fakt dat:
1.) God taked care ob Alla Dem Togedder and
2.) Paul-da-Lad (who issa'nudder Speshul Bunny Guy wike Dadda and Phil-da-Lad) hadda 'Mergency Plan dat he was followin' to keep ebberybun in The Herd (incloodin' Percy-da-Liddle-Cat) safe.

So dat's why we are spending tiday wooking ober da 'Mergency Plans for Our Warren and making shure dat we hab ebberyfing in order we shuld... it's Pree-serbing da Con-tin-noo-it-tee ob Our En-vy-ron-mint or just staying safe.

------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:58 AM EST
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Friday, 11 November 2005
George's 11th Strand, Day Numbur 11
Now Playing: Lotsa Fings
Topic: The Next Generation
Hey! I gotta noo monitor!

Yeah! I culdn't type onna old one. It wasn't werking very well, so Maman and Dadda went out and got this one. It's flat, so there is more room onna desk (that is rilly a table) for me to sit.

Ahhhh! The comfort of it all!

And, afta the noo monitor, the keyboard broke, so Dadda gotta noo one of them for Maman, but the "i" key didn't werk. So that keyboard went back to the store and Dadda came back wiffa noo wunna them.

And finally, here we are! Back in business!


So I was reading the noospapers wif Maman agin today.

And she and I read about some guy named Pat Robertson who finks he can talk for God.

Dumb idea.

Ebben a rabbit knows that alla this stuff about "Intelligent Design vs. Theory of Evolution" issa crock of pooties.

Believing in God and believing inna Theory ob Evolution doesn't mean that one automatically excludes the other.

And you can't teach Religion and Science togedder. One is one thing and the other is the other. Apples and bananas. Both are good for you, but they aren't the same thing and they don't grow onna same tree.

In udder werds, you can't replace one wif the udder.

Inna Book ob Beginnings it says that God created the Heavens anna Earth and all dat is in them.

So what if...

...God created alla Heavens anna Earth by way ob Evolution?

Mebbe He did.
How do you know He didn't?
Hokay. Then prove it - Create an experiment that reliably demonstrates your contention.

When you can do that, then that's Science.

See, the trubble is that there's no need for stoopit arguments like "Intelligent Design vs. The Theory of Evolution - which should be taught in school?" It is a meaningless argument. Religion is about BELIEF and Science is about Can Be Demonstrated.

Ennybunny can believe in the Theory of Evolution AND still believe in God. Our Bim hadda Piledhighand Deep in Organic Chemistry AND one in Science Education and he believed in God and believed inna Theory ob Evolution, so there's no reason to go disbelieving sumbun who axtchually wassa reel scientist.

This Pat Robertson is justa "Ex-Pert" Dadda says. And we here at Our Warren know whutta "Ex-pert" is; it can be expressed mathymatik-ally like this: EX (a has-been) + SPURT (a drip under pressure) = EXPERT.

Also inna Noospaper there was a story about being able to detect Downs Syndrome in hoomin babies in the 11th Week ob pregnancy.

This is being called a "breakthrough".

I fink it wuld be, if it meant that hoomins culd tell whut colour to paint the baby's room, but I don't fink that's why hoomins want to know iffa baby has Downs Syndrome so early bifore the baby is borned.

I fink that babies with Downs Syndrome must be alot like Willow and Luckie Bun were - very, very sweet bunnies who had limmytayshuns in one way or anudder, but who had no limmytayshuns when it came to giving love.

In fact, the world needs alla love it can get. And throwing out enny ob that potential love is not the way to make sure that the world gets all the love there is going.

There's too menny sumbunnies who need love and not enough sumbunnies who can give it.

Too menny sumbunnies are all too reddy to go to the noospapers and say, "I hope when you get in trubble, God won't love you enough to help you. I hope He is a very petty God who remembers every liddle insult and nebber forgives and can't keep His werd and so turns His back on you. Cos that's the kind ob god I can believe in and want to be like!."

And if that's that person's kinda god, then they're welcome to him!

Thank goodness there are sumbunnies who are like Willow and Luckiebun, who are happy to just love and love and love, no matter whut, who axtchually love God enough to want to follow His rule:"Love God with all your heart, strength and mind, and your neighbour as yourself."

If sumbunny sincerely tries to do that, then that's living a productive life. If sumbun discovers that a baby that hassa potential to give love just 11 weeks after they are concieved, then I fink they shuld paint their room enny colour they wants.

----- by George

Posted by Our Warren at 3:48 PM EST
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Sunday, 30 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 30
Now Playing: Dunno Whutdaheck Is Up Wif Dis...
Topic: The Next Generation

I dunno whut's up wif dis blog-making 'puter program fing, but it's habbing a wotta trubble posting my 'pinions and stuff.

I keep gedding dees "Error" messages and I know I didn't do ennyfing wrong, so it's not my "Error", lemme tell you. Must be sumbunny else's "Error" cos I have bin using my pootie-box all day and so has Missy, Clover, Mouse and ebben Beebe.

Maman ebben sed we have bin "Good bunnies!" all day.

Yeah, she just sed it on her way fru da Bun Room justa widdle while ago. So I don't know whut's up wif dis 'puter.

Ebben da Border Collie is being good, anna Catz have bin preddy much asleep, so dey are not guilty ob ennyfing eidder.

So whutebber dis 'puter program says, Our Warren didn't do it!

Now Dadda sed dat we lib inna "Blame Kultchur" where ebberybunny runs around, making shure dat dere Furst Rule Ob Biznez is to make shure dat whutebber dey do, nobunny blames dem if sumfing goes wrong.

And you know whut?

I deeply s'speckt dat sumbunny is trying to blame bunnies for why dis 'puter don't werk rite, which is why I'm geddin' alla these "Error" messages dat don't belong to me.

Cos if I messed up, I'd say so. And den I'd s'splain it so you'd know how it happined. And den you'd unnerstan and nobun wuld be upsed, you know?

Becos I fink dat most obba pwoblems inna werld happin becos hoomins habba Failure To Communnykate wif each udder, ebben whin dey are speakin' da same language.

Raising da Volume ob speaking doesn't help berry much, eidder, but you find a wotta hoomins who fink dat if dey say da same fing dat was misunnerstood da furst time a whole wot louder, den udders will somehow magickly unnerstand da werds dat dey didn't unnerstand whin dey were sed atta normal volume.

And that's not rite. Saying da same werds wif more volume doesn't make werds unnerstandable. It just makes dem loud.

Or assa Border Collie sed, "Noos Flash: I herd da werds da furst time, but dey still don't make sense."

Or as Beebe sed (and he wassa former Skool Bunny, poor guy): "Yo! Ged sum NOO WERDS!"

Mouse says you kin werk it out in mafamatiks wike dis: Let "U" = "Understanding"; let "V" = "Volume"; let "w" = "werds": Therefore: wV≠U.

Which is preddy good for a bunny.

Maman says datta precise use obba language shuld beeda aim ob eddykayshun inna primary and junior skools systim but she also says dat it's not gonna happin becos she has seen papers written by her stoodints inna unibercity, and by dat time, it's just too (__insert-bad-werd-heer__) late. She says a wotta da problem is down to sheer laziness, and a failure to study and 'prishyate Literature (meaning buks dat was typed before dat werd got devalued inna middle obba 20th Cenchury. Maman can get berry "contentshsus" ober dis, Dadda says, and he also says I shuldn't try tawking to her abouddit. So I don't. I dunno whutdaheck she's tawking aboud half da time ennyways, and ebben Missy's not shure.).

So here I am, posting t'day's blog inna hope dat udders will see it wiffoud a wotta trubble and habbing to gedda wotta "Error" messages for fings dat dey didn't do, eidder.

So here goes. I'm clicking onna "Post" button now...

--- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:11 PM EDT
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Saturday, 29 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 29
Now Playing: Noah's Wish and Emergency Plans
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

You might notis that there issa Noo Link on my site heer onna left-paw-side as you're looking atta page. See it, under Bunny Blogs? It says "Noah's Wish" and if you click onnit, it will take you to a web site that will tell you alla'bout that organnyzashun.

Now lemme tell you a liddle about Noah's Wish.

They rescue animals when there issa disaster. They are speshually trained rescue hoomins who know ebberyfing about how to rescue animals that hoomins leeb behind when somefing bad happins.

You see, dere are hoomins who don't hab Emergency Disaster Plans that inclood themselves OR their pets. So whin sumbunny says, "Hey lookt, dere issa tornado, hurricane, flash flood, earthquake, blizzard, forest fire, or some other kind of dire emergency heded dis way and you gotta ged outta heer!", these hoomins hab no plans aboud whut to take, or how to ged out, or where to go or whut to do. And soda hoomins run around in cirkurls, panicking their heds off.

Time is berry short inna Emergency. Dere is no time to sit and fink, so YOU GOTTA DO YOUR FINKING AHED!

But a lotta hoomins don't bodder to fink ahed, and so dey don't hab time to fink ob whut to whinna Emergency happins and so alotta times dey leeb rilly, rilly impawtant stuff behind whin dey are panicking and running away. Berry impawtant fings...

Like da bunnies inna hutch.
Like da dawg tied up to a tree.
Like da catz left onna porch.
Like da hamster stuck in his wheel.
Like da fish left inna tank.

Alla Companion Animals left OnAlone inna Emergency wifout help or a way to stay safe.

And den, that's where Noah's Wish comes in. They are trained to go into dangerous places and save the Companion Animals and alla pets who are left OnAlone.

Noah's Wish saved alotta lives afta Hurricane Katrina blowed fru Louisiana. They rushed in while the floods were rising anna dams were failing and cut loose da dawgs that were drowning, and pulled catz to safety, and broke open horrible out-door bunny hutches where bunnies were struggling against da wires to keep dere poor noses above da onrushing water.

Noah's Wish wint into houses and grabbed up hamsters and gerbils who was still floating around in their wheels, and saved catz who had clawed their way uppa walls to shelves hextcape the rising flood. They got dawgs innu boats and sailed dem to solid ground. They ebben gotted out da birdies in their cages and helped them outta winders where they was trapped!

And Noah's Wish gave food and wadder and shelter to ebbery libbing critter dat they saved.

Heer at Our Warren Dadda and Maman habba Emergency Plans for Alla Us Togedder. Dere are carriers inna Bun Room wif towels and pillowcases for alla bunnies (pillowcases are good for transporting bunnies inna hurry - in goes da bunny, tie a knot atta top and you gots an instant, temporary carrier dat is highly portable where da bunny can't hurt himself or udders.). Maman and Dadda know where da Catz are and dere are carriers anna pillowcases for dem, too. Da Border Collie Dawg's leash is inna same pwace alla time, and ebbery fing we need to eat and drink is in two places - da car and inna basemint.

If we gotta run forit, we'll do it Alla Us Togedder, and we'll leeb whin we're told to go, Dadda says. And dere will be nobunny left behind, NoBunny OnAlone becos Dadda and Maman bof agree dat lives are more important den stuff.

"A man with his dawg and his family can rebuild a life from the ground up." Dadda says.

So I am axting you to habba look atta web-site for Noah's Wish, just to see the kind ob training they do, anna the kinda werk they do and how they go aboud doing it.

And I am axting you to fink and plan bifore an Emergency happins.

Please Make Emergency plans that inclood your pets! And make those plans BEFORE an Emergency comes along!

Fings, like a house, and alla stuff dat is innit, can allus be replaced, but Companion Animals can't. I know replacing stuff takes munny, but whut is munny compared to lub? You can't buy lub wif munny, but you can hab lub for free frumma Companion Animal. Lives aren't disposable, cos each wun is just too speshully made.

So habba Look, habba Fink, and then Make Sum Plans. It culd sabe you a whole wotta trubble and heartbreak inna futchur.

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:04 PM EDT
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Friday, 28 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 28
Now Playing: Life Is...
Topic: The Next Generation

Belinda Bunny usta say dat: "'Life' is just wun stoopit fing happenin' afta anudder."

Dis has been a strange strand, or as hoomins call it, month. Last month we gots hardly no rain at all, and dis month we gots so much rain datta "pond" (as Dadda calls it) atta bottom obba Back Gardin is becoming a reg'lar feetschur inna life ob Our Warren. Speshually forda Border Collie Dawg.

And it's not doing da rest ob us much good eidder, lemme tell you.

Maman sed if he brings his wet, muddy feets innu her clean Kitchin floor wun more time and then she doesn't finish whut she's gonna do 'bout it. I fink dat's becos she doesn't habba cloo, and she's making it up as she goes along.

Anna Dawg just wags his tail and grins, and leebs big, muddy feets-prints alla way through da Bun Room anna Kitchin and prob'ly da whole house, too, only nobun sees dem onna'count dat dere are cawpets to soak da wet off.

But da main fing is dat Maman is just as bizzy wiffa Swifter Mop as ebber.

You gots wunna dose fings? Whin Phil-da-Lad commed back fumma Naby, he was tawking aboudda "Swifter Mop" to Maman and he went and gotted her wun, cos he thought it wuld be easier for her to use than the owd bukit-an-mop.

And he was gen'rally rite, becos we hadda put up wiffa whole lot obba "Swifter Mops" comming fru da Bun Room, mostly onna'count ob Mouse who was taking the time to pee onna Dawg's hed.

It went wike dis: Whin we furst moobed innu da Noo Bun Room, Mouse was nearest da Back Door, and ebbery time datta Dawg wuld go outside toda Back Gardin, Maman or Dadda wuld opin da Back Door and let in cold air while they letted out Da Dawg. Anna same fing wuld happin whenna Dawg wanted to come back innu da house frumma Back Gardin - da Back Door wuld opin and in came Da Dawg along with a blast ob cold air.

Well, Mouse wuld get alla these blasts ob cold air basikly up his butt, and this made him grumpier than he ushually is. And Mouse issa preddy grumpy bunny, hextcept whin he's wif Dadda.

Well, da Border Collie Dawg was too tall, and too hebby at fifty-five pounds for Mouse, who issa Netherlands Dwarf bunny who weighs alla four pounds, to take on inna Fair Contest Ob Dominance. Although I gotta tell you, Mouse is notta'fraid obba Dawg's size, but Mouse isn't nuts wike Beebe, eidder. Where Beebe will lunge and honk atta Dawg (which preddy much puzzles da heck outta Da Dawg, cos he sumtimes doesn't quite unnerstan Lagomorphin alla way), Mouse knows dat dere is a lot more to winning A Contest Ob Dominance den honking and lunging: you gotta make da udder contestant back down or at weast, stop boddering you.

So Mouse took to waiting until Da Dawg was standing rite nextest to his habbytat, waiting for Maman or Dadda to opin da Back Door, and just then, whin Da Dawg's feets were right at Mouse-lebbel, Mouse wuld reach out and nip da Dawg Feet.

And Da Dawg wuld turn aroun' and wook at whut bited him, and den, whin Da Dawg's hed was down on his lebbel, Mouse wuld exykute a quick one-eighty-degree-flip and pee onna Dawg Hed.

And dis rilly, rilly puzzled Da Dawg, cos he culdn't figger out why he was getting peed on. He didn't see dat he was doing ennyfing to Mouse, so whydaheck was he getting nipped and den peed on? And Mouse isn't da kind ob bunny dat hextsplains ennyfing. He just sits in his habbytat and glares.

So Da Dawg stopped standing byda Back Door and took to standing behind Maman or Dadda, which, in turn, puzzled da hek outta dem for quite awhile.

And den, when Maman and Dadda finally figgered out whutdaheck was going on, dey moobed Mouse innu a noo habbytat dat was aboud twenty-four inches offa floor, so he was aboud on eye-lebbel wiffa Dawg, and away frum da Back Door. So da blasts ob cold air stopped boddering Mouse and so da Dawg was preddy safe.

But Mouse issa kinda bunny who likes to stay in Praktis. So he praktised peeing onna Screen Porch Door (which was nextest to where his noo habbytat was parked).

And Maman kept cleaning that up until she got tired of that and moobed Mouse's litter-box toda udder side ob his habbytat.

So Mouse praktised onna Big White Cold Box dat was onna udder side ob his habbytat. And Maman cleaned dat up, too, and told Mouse off while she did it.

And den it was Summer anna Screen Porch Door was opin a lot, which was nice, cos Mouse was inna perfek place to be out dere alla time inna breezes anna bell-chimes dat Maman hanged up, until we all broke out in Catz.


Ebberyfing was going along great until Cokie-da-Fat-Cat discobbered dat Maman had opined da Screen Porch Door full-time, and now Cokie and Beep-da-Stoopit-Cat culd go in-an-out and sit onna Screen Proch enny time dey wanted and pretend dat they were Tough Outside Catz while staying safely inside obba Screen Porch where nuffin culd get att'em.

And ebbery time dey wint out onna Screen Porch, dey hadda violate Mouse's personal space by going unnerneaf ob his habbytat! And being Catz, dey didn't ebben axt his permission!

No! Dey just p'raded in-an-out wike dey owned da whole unnerneaf ob Mouse!

So Mouse was wike, "You know, I'm gonna nip dis inna bud, becos I can't be habbin' wif no Catz walking unnerneaf ob me wike dis."

(Yeah. Alla Us Togedder learned a LOT frum Belinda Bunny bifore she left us to go to da Rainbow Bridge. She made shure ob dat. And she also made shure whut we learned wassa whole lot more than just Bunny-Speak, lemme tell you.)

So Mouse began to wait by the frunt ob his habbytat whinebber Maman opined da Screen Porch Door.

And Maman wuld opin da Screen Porch Door and preddy soon, wunna da Catz wuld show up to go out dere onna Screen Porch.

And Mouse wuld take aim, do da one-eighty-degree-flip and pee on them as they passed unnerneaf ob his habbytat.

Well, he got bof ob da Catz rilly good, full-stream hits down each wun, so dey learned to go rilly, rilly fast unnerneaf ob his habbytat. So Mouse hadda rilly, rilly refine his tekneek, and get his aim down bedder if he was gonna discourage dem in-tirely.

Ob course, dere were da few times dat he missed his targit and den he peed onna floor. And den, Maman wuld come and see puddles, and she wuld go and getta Swifter Mop and we'd end up wif our Bun Room floor smelling ob Refreshing Citrus which stinks worse den Dadda's werk soxks, lemme tell you.

And da Dawg, who is preddy smart in sum ways, wuldn't go unnerneaf ob Mouse's habbytat, cos he knowed he'd ged peed on - but he wasn't above herding Catz inna general dirkshun obba Bun Room, eidder. Now normally, Da Dawg keeps alla Catz outta da Bun Room, but whin he seed dat Mouse was peeing on alla Catz, he began gently herding da Cats to go fru da Bun Room to get toda Screen Porch Door, becos he thought it was funny to see Mouse pee onna Catz, too.

In fact, Alla Us Togedder, hexcept da Catz, were habbin a preddy good time ob dis all fru da Summer. Anna Catz were going nuts, but dat wassa bonus becos it wasn't wike dey were being hurted by Mouse. It was more wike dey were disrespecting Mouse by invading his personal space alla time, which is sumfing dat Catz will do if you don't show dem dat you hab personal space.

And ebberyfing wuld hab been perfek, if it hadn't been forda Swifter Mops and that awful Refreshing Citrus stink.

But now it's cold agin, and so da Screen Proch Door is closed alla time. Da Dawg still goes in-and-out obba Back Door toda Gardin, but Missy and I are by da Back Door and we're up high enuf in our habbytat dat we don't get much obba cold air, so we don't care. Mouse has preddy much stopped praktising his projectile peeing becos da Screen Porch Door is shut anna Dawg is back to herding da Catz outta da Bun Room agin.

So we culd reasonably hextpect datta Swifter Mop wif its associated stink wuld go away. You fink?

And den along comes Da Dawg wif his muddy feets and back comes da Swifter Mops!

You know, Belinda Bunny rilly was right: "'Life' is just wun stoopit fing happenin' afta anudder."

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 1:38 PM EDT
Thursday, 27 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 27
Now Playing: G'Bye Liddle Red Tool Shed
Topic: The Next Generation

Well, Dadda is attit agin.

Whin we moobed heer last December, dere wassa Liddle Red Tool Shed atta back obba Gardin. I culd see it frumma back door, and the Dawg told me it was there. He called it "Da Liddle Tool House" (cos Dawgs can't see colour) and he was preddy shure that squirrels libbed dere, so he yelled attit alot cos he doesn't go much on squirrels.

Maman called it "The Tool Shed", and Dadda called it "The Gardin Shed" and sed that it was gonna hab to come down bifore it falled on ennyboddy. Maman sed her Dadda had builded it, and it hadn't falled down inna'boud forty yeers.

And Dadda sed it wassn't fit to see forty-one.

Now Maman and Dadda hab been trying their hands at Gardining alla this Summer-long. Dere are sum rezons for this:
1. Maman has allus wanted to hab a rose gardin for where whut's left ob Hunny is buried. She calls it The Our Warren M'morial Gardin cos she promised Hunny that she wuld plant a red rose ober where he has his Final Restin Pwace (whutebber - we all know he went to the Rainbow Bridge along with Belinda and ebberybunny else.) and she wanted to hab her Grandmother's birdbath there, too. So Maman has had this idea obba Gardin in her hed fora long, long time.

2. Dadda comes frumma South-West ob sumplace called Inkland where they habba lotta farms. Dis seems to make him fink dat he NEEDS to dig inna dirt, raise hay, rake lawns and ride on traktors. Ob course there is not alla that much land going on heer, but he also wantsta habba pikit fence going alla way around Back Gardin, and out toda Frunt Gardin, acrosst the dribeway and back toda Back Gardin again, just as if he was in Inkland. And he wantsta plant bulbs inna Frunt Gardin, onna'count obba fackt dat Gardins feetchur big in his Plans, so we gotta hab wun inna Back and wun inna Frunt obba House. So dere you are. It's a cultural fing I fink.

3. And HAY. Dadda says dat Our Warren eats alotta hay. Whut he axtchually sed is: "You buggers waste more hay than you eats!" by which he meens dat Beebe and Missy do alotta dekorating with their hay as well as alotta eating obit, and that alotta their dekorations involve throwing rejected strands onna floor obba Bun Room where Beep-the-Cat picks dem up and transports them innu da Livin' Room for Maman to pick up inna Hoober so it gets clogged and Dadda hasta take it apart to fix it because Maman can't. (Bifore Dadda married her, Phil-the-Lad told him, "You nebber, ebber gib da Maman no tools or let her near ennyfind she can take apart. Take my werd onnit." And Dadda beleebs Phil-the-Lad on dis one. He's seen Maman in Akshun, using a screwdriber to bang inna nail.)

So ob course, with alla these fings in mind, Dadda decided that he hadda gedda Traktor, and gedding the Traktor meant that it had to hab a House Ob It's Own.

So Dadda ordered uppa shed forda Traktor to lib in. Dis cut down onna light coming innu da Our Warren M'morial Stained Glass Winder cos ob where da Traktor House hadda go, but dere is no stopping Dadda whin he hassa idea going on. And since da Our Warren M'morial Stained Glass Winder faces da West, we still gots plenty ob light Maman says.

Dat's her story.

Ennyways, Dadda liked dat Traktor House so much dat he ordered anudder wun to replace the Liddle Red Tool Shed atta bottom obba Gardin!

So da noo shed arrived, and Dadda lugged it innu da back Gardin where Da Border Collie Dawg hadda look attit (and peed onnit, just to be sure in case udder Dawgs came around, dat dey knew it was his.).

"Hokay," the Dawg sed as he comed back innu the house, "Dis wooks rilly bad, and smells worse, lemme tell you. Da Liddle Tool House smells wike wood, cow pats and squirrel pee, but dis fing smells wike PWASTIK and STWANGE HOOMINS and Maman won't wike dis. Woof!"

So it rained for two whole days and the noo shed stayed inna boxes inna Gardin. And then the sun commed out and Dadda went out and began taking apart the Liddle Red Tool Shed.

And he came in all hot and smelly and sed to Maman, "There are nails ebbery two inches where there only needs to be wun ebbery six inches."

And Maman sed, "When my Father built something, it was supposed to stay up - even if only the nails held it there."

Den Dadda wint out again, and there wassa lotta banging and tearing and more banging and den he commed inna'gin, and sed to Maman,

"There's huge boards where really smaller boards would have done."

And Maman sed, "Well, my Father had a way of building fings to last."

And Dadda sed, "Well,if he'd built it with treated lumber, it would have lasted forever."

And Maman sed, "Back then, he didn't know about treated lumber."

And Dadda sed, "But even creosote,"

But Maman just sort ob drifted away innu anudder room.

And den Dadda wint out again and dere was more banging and some kinda crash. I dunno - Maman was uppastairs by dat time, inna Study wiffa door closed.

So afta'while Dadda comes inna'gin, smelling worse den bifore and axts Maman to wook out atta Noo Gardin Shed.

And Maman goes out, hassa wook and I hear her say, "It's so... White. When you're used to seeing a dark red shed down there, white is rather unexpected. But it looks very neat. Very tidy. Very... I rather expected it to have a green roof, but white is nice. Very nice. And no spiders, and no squirrels and it won't rot. Very nice. And tidy. And neat."

And whin she commed back innu da house, she hadda walk through the Bun Room, but she didn't stop to tawk to us, she just wint straight through.

And Dadda put the garden tools innu da Noo Gardin Shed. And the Liddle Red Tool Shed is inna pile onna side obba fence, waiting for a dry day so Dadda can saw the bits up and bang out the nails so the Rubbish Guys will take it away. (The Rubbish guys won't take fings wif nails in.)

I fink Maman wants Dadda to hurry dat pawt along, but it's bin raining a lot and there's a pond inna back Gardin agin where the Border Collie Dawg goes splashing while he's yelling atta squirrels. Anna squirrels are all up inna trees now, cos they can't get innu the Noo Gardin Shed.

And now Dadda says that there are too many trees inna Back Gardin and sum are gonna hafta get cut down so he can put inna hay for Our Warren, and so his noo Traktor won't allus bump ober roots, but whin he tawks aboud habbing down da trees, Maman just sorta drifts away innu anudder room...

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:01 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 26 October 2005
Geroge's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 26
Now Playing: Da Ultimate TeeBee Disaster
Topic: The Next Generation

Well, da Three Visiting Cats Frum Phil hab gone back to Maryland.

Dat's rite, Maman an Dadda hab their study back! So Dadda is spening more time uppystairs, werking on his bisiness, Just-in-CAD an we Bunnies hab da house preddy much to ourselves.

And ebben bedda, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat and Gidget-Beep-Beep can now hab dat stoopit litterbox upstairs. No more whirring motors inna Bun Room, no more grit onna floor, no more midnite bafroom calls and best ob all, no more stinky Cokie-da-Fat-Cat smells rising up to foul da air and make my eyes wadder!

So Our Warren is back to normal! (Or whut passes for normal, as Maman says.)

'Cept forda fackt dat Maman and Dadda aren't happy wif whut dey call Da Routien aroun' heer.

Maman says dat she an' Dadda don't ged enuf done. She says dat she and Dadda need noo schedules.

Well, I agree. We don't ged the as much Playtime as we'd like.

And Mouse, in partik'lar, says dat his TeeBee schedule is all messed up.

Mouse sed dat dere are more "Law & Order" shows onna TeeVee and he knows dat he isn't seeing alla dem. Like he sed wast nite, he knowed dat dat guy, Vincent Didnuffanose, who is on wun ob da "Law & Order" shows dat Mouse likes, is kinda "quirky" and doesn't allus get alla shows finished, but dere are more shows den Maman is letting Mouse see.

And Mouse says dat he hasn't seen the Ice-T guy for a long time, so he knows he's missing dat "Law & Order" show, too. He says he did get to see dat Chris Noth guy but the chick dey had as his pawtner's pawt was written so she seemed wike wallpaper.

So Mouse is preddy upset dat he issn' gedding to see his show as much as he shuld. He finks maybe da TeeBee isn't showing the shows, becos he know dat Maman wuld let him see dem if they were on. So mebbe da TeeBee is holding out on him.

So ennyways, Mouse would like to type a letter to "Law & Order" to tell dem to ged dere act togedder or he'll find a noo favourite show. He's likin' dat "E-Ring" show a lot cos it is hextcitin' cos da guy wiffa funny name is allus savin' the day.

Mouse says it's good to see the Good Guys win, and he says they menshun da Naby a lot and they show pickchurs ob dose big Naby ships wif da airplanes dat Phil lerned alla'bout while he was dere.

So Mouse sed he wantsta type a letter to "Law & Order", justa tell dem dat he's a rabbit stuck wiffout a TeeBee ob his own, and dat he rilly needs to hab dem send him a schedule so he can tell Maman when he needs to be out so she can set up her schedule.

But last nite we had da Ultimate TeeBee Disaster. Maman was watching da Ellebben O'Clok Noos (da wun dat has her favourite wedder-person, Glen "Hurricane" Schwartz), and whin it was over, she went to turn off the TeeBee - but it wuldn't shut off!!

She tried pokin' da buttons onna remote. Den she got up and went to da box obba TeeBee itself and poked da Big Red Button onna box's frunt.

Anna TeeBee stayed on!

It was wike it was running all on it's own and had taken ober itself! It wassn't a machine enny more, but had become a Fing Dat Was Alibe! It wanted to stay on!

So Mouse (who has nebber been skert obba TeeBee in his life) axt it to show him "Law & Order" but it didn't say nothing. It just stayed on with its voice going loud/soft, loud/soft. Like it was playing games with him. And it didn't show him enny "Law & Order" shoe, eidder, just sumfing called "Tin'ite" wif a guy wiffa big chin tellin' jokes.

We didn't laff.

So I thought I wuld try and make it show us anudder show and I called out toda TeeBee "E-Ring!" just as loud as I culd.

But the TeeBee sat dere inna Sitting Room an' when Maman thumped it onna hed, it showed da PBS channel but not wif "Sesame Steet".


Dere was sum hoomins sitting around'da tabul tawkin' about "Rehab".

So I culd feel Maman gettin' skeert.

She was backin' away frumma TeeBee. She piked up Mouse, and him and me got stuffed back inna our habbytats inna Bun Room.

And ob course, da Dawg was geddin' all wound up cos he culd feel Maman gettin' skeert, but he didn't quite know whut to do aboud'dit. Dawgs isn't all dat brite sumtime. Dey know dey gotta proteck Maman, but if dey can't find sumfing to proteck her frum all dey do is dither, tear around in cirkuls, whine and peep.

So I told da Dawg, "Get Dadda! And hurry up!"

Soda Dawg, who was happy to hab sumfing to do, charged uppastairs.

But Dadda was coming downnastairs.

Dey met inna middle.

Not da bestest pwace. Dere issn't a whole lotta room onna stairs, anna Dawg hadda turn around, and Dadda hassa sore toe frum having run innu da footstool onna'count obba Fat-Cat being unner his feets.

So Dadda anna Dawg met up onna stairs anna Dawg tried to turn himself around onna same step assa wun Dadda was on.

And well, dere wassa wotta Anglo-Saxon werds dat I am not allowed to type and Dadda called da Dawg, "You daft bugger!" agin.

And Ebenchually, Dadda finds Maman back inna Sittin' Room, staring atta TeeBee like it's going to grow feets and start walking outta there enny minute, and whin it does, she's all set to scream blue murder.

Like dats gonna help ennyfing.

So Dadda hassa look atta TeeBee and discobbers dat, Maman is rite, it won't turn off, it won't change channels and it's voice-thing is very dicky.

So he goes to unplug its connecktor plug fing frumma wall.

And Maman shreeks out, "No! Don't do dat! If you unplug a teebee you can be kilt by it!"

And Dadda turns to her says, real quiet, "Whut? Whodaheck told you dat load of bullocks?"

(A "load ob bullocks" issa Inkwish way ob saying "a load ob young cows wif pooties", Maman sed, meaning sumfing preddy worfwess. I'm not sure she's rite aboud enny young cows bein' involved innit, though, becose whin Dadda says it, it sounds wike he is sayin' a diffrunt werd frum "bullocks" somehow. But Maman insists "bullocks" is whut I'm hearing.)

So ennyway, Maman is standing dere nextest to Dadda bwinkin' at him for a minit, and den she says, "I dunno. I just herd dat dere is kapassy'tors and resistors and fings dat store up huge charges ob elektricity inside ob tellyvisions dat will kill you if you touch dem. So Phil sed I shuld nebber, ebber touch dem or da cord, or ennyfing dat is inna back obba tellyvision or I culd be kilt."

And Dadda stood dere finking and den he shaked his hed.

"I fink, dear," He sead afta a moment ob deep finkin', I fink dat was Phil's way ob tellin' you to not to try and go fixing the TeeBee wiffout consultin' him furst, dear. Dere is no harm in unplugging a tellybishion. People hab bin doin' it for yeers."

And he reached down and unplugged da TeeBee.

And suddenly, it turned off.

Just wike dat. No sparks, no shocks, no smoke - nuffin. Da screen just wint dark, and dat wassa end obbit.

And Dadda told Maman as dey was gibbin' us our raisins dat electrik fings are eidder "on" or dey is "off", dat dere is no middle ground. And that when electick fings are "off", den dat's da end: dey are broke, and need to be replaced.

So now dere is gonna hab to be a noo TeeBee inna house.

And as we settled down to eat our hay, Mouse sed maybe da rezon he haddn't been seein' alla "Law & Order" shows hadda do wiffa TeeBee being bwoken, so mebbe he wuldn't hafta type enny letters to da show ennyways. And dat mebbe whin Maman and Dadda gedda noo TeeBee it will also show more ob dat "E-Ring" show, too, and atta reg'lar time, so Mouse won't hab to keep paying a'tenshun alla time toda advertizemints so he knows whin it's time to make a fuss to ged Maman to let him outta his habbytat to go watch it whin it's on.

So gedding a Noo TeeBee mite werk out reel good for our schedule. Cos den, we'll hab our dinners on time, too, 'zactly afta Glenn "Hurricane" Schwartz tells Maman whut da wedder is gonna be.

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:36 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 18 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day NumbER 18
Now Playing: Self-Improobmint
Topic: The Next Generation

Well, afta messin' up wif my spellin' an' (I meen, AND) doin' a few udder, totally stoopit fings (dat are preddy embarrassin'), I hab decided that I need to improob my grasp onna ENGLISH LANGUAGE. It's not that I don't know how to type bedda, it's just dat, afta awhile, I tend to gedda'widdle lazy, you know, an', (I mean,AND) let myself slip more AND more innu sloppy slang tawk.

Now Clover says dat dis is normal wif most youngbuns, but den I am getting on towards TWO YEARS OLD, and I can reasonably be hextpected to know howta spell preddy good, and howta use bigger and bedder werds. If I'm gonna grow 'Tellygint, I hab gotta start to show it.

And that begins wif the propa use ob Language.

"How a bunny speaks is how he is known." Hunny sed.

So it is impawtant for me, who is typing dis Blog for Hoomins to read, to put my best paw forward. Because the last fing I want hoomins to fink issat bunnies are stoopit.

Bunnies are not stoopit!

Most ob us can speak at least two languages, and sum ob us can speak and type in more'n dat.

Now, I gotta tell you, dis is not easy.

I speak Lagomorphin as do most udder bunnies, so you gotta bemember that ENGLISH issa sekond language for almost ebberybunny. Whin we type in ENGLISH we tend to type werds the way dat they sound to us whin we hear dem.

Sumtimes we can use a hoomin Spell-Checker to help us spell werds da same way dat ENGLISH-Speaking hoomins do, but sumtimes not. Da hoomin Spell-Checker feetchur doesn't werk berry well whin it hasta werk with Lagomorphin assa base language. (Are you reading dis, Bill Gates?
Belinda Bunny wassa'ware ob dis diffyculty and tried to correct it by creeating a Lagomorphin-based Spell-checker, but she ran outta innerest before she ran outta werds, so dat projeck didn't get too far.

But we bunnies hab bin trying berry hard to 'stablish some regur'lized form ob typing in ENGLISH and I hab to return to using it. No more being lazy and using bunny-slang.

So whut I hab learned so far is dat dere not just one kind ob ENGLISH Language, but several.

Inna beginnin, I thought dere was only wun kinda ENGLISH. Dat was before I was dumped atta V-E-Ts office all OnAlone inna box dat was empty ob ebberyfing except me.

Then, Maman came and picked me up and brought me home to Our Warren where I met Dadda and Maman in their nat'chural habbytats.

And to my sus'prise, Maman and Dadda speaked TWO DIF'FRUNT kinds ob ENGLISH frum the furst one I had learned!

Now, dis was confoozling. So I axted da Top Bun, who was Belinda Bunny, abouddit. She didn't feel berry well that day, so she sed for me to axt Hunny, who wassa Senior Bun inna Our Warren.

Now Hunny wassa berry OLD rabbit. He was wike, 12 yeers old, and fortygetful, and sort ob "not all there", if you know whut I mean. But nice. You culdn't want for a nicer bunny. And you culdn't want for a wiser bunny, eidder.

And Hunny told me datta mawmie inna Our Warren was called "Maman", and that it wassa French werd for "Mother" and he gave our mawmie dat name because he was part French Lop, and dat was how he was taught to call his mawmie, when he wassa kit, menny, menny years ago before he was also dumped and ended up at Our Warren. Anna name has stuck, so our mawmie is named Maman.

And Our Dad is named "Dadda" because Phil-the-Lad named him that more or less by axceedint. You see, Our Dad is Phil-the-Lad's "Stepfadder" and Phil didn't want to call him "Dad" because he said that name had "bad connotations for me." So we wuld heer Phil-da-Lad tawlking to his friends and say, "My StepDad-uh, he, ", so we just dropped da "Step" pawt and kept da "Dad-uh" which became, ober time, Dadda.

Now Dadda comes frumma place dat sounds like it is called INKLAND but is spelled, ENGLAND. Sespifick'ly he comes frumma place dat sounds like it is called Summerset which sounds wike a wunnerful werd for a place to be frum. It beminds me ob birdies singing in trees, anna bloo sky so close dat I culd stand up on my back feets and touch it wiffa paw. Sounds like long, green grass waving inna wind, too, and hills wif lotsa burrows and bright widdle streams winking fru da grass.


And Dadda says a lotta werds dif'frunt frum Maman, and he has werds dat only he uses, dat rilly don't hab meenings to hoomins who don't lib in dis house. He calls whut he speaks "The Queen's ENGLISH", or "Da Countree Di'lect" and dey are two dif'frunt kinds ob ENGLISH language. But bof ob them are dif'frunt frum what Maman sumtimes speaks.

Now Maman issa 'Murrican, but she libbed for awhile inna same ENGLAND as Dadda, but inna dif'frunt place called "Lancashire. This also sounds like a preddy place to be frum. She has told us aboudda stone walls, and sheeps onna hills, and waking up inna cold mornings to hear lambs calling inna fields. She says the wind blows hard through the long grasses on fings called da moors only she says "moors" like "moo-rahs" while Dadda says "mores".

This shuld gib you an idea ob how there are TWO or even THREE KINDS ob ENGLISH going on in our house, inna'dishun toda reg'lar kind of ENGLISH datta normal, A'murrican houserabbit wuld hear.

And den, just whin I thought I hadda handle on alla these kinds ob ENGLISH LANGUAGES, along comes Auntie Paige and Joshua to visit wif us. They live in Australia, which also sounds like anudder beautiful place to be frum, wif Winter onna oppysit side ob our Summer, and annymuls dat you can only dream aboud, like kangaroos and dey habba ocean onna doorstep, and udder fantastik stuff.

And, well, wuldn't'chu know it? Auntie Paige and Joshua speak ENGLISH, too, but it's a whole udder kind ob ENGLISH! And they had werds I had nebber herd before, too, and sum ob them sounded funny to me, and made me laff. She called Beebe a "nutbag", and kept telling him, "Don't try it out!" whin he wuld try to lunge at her. And you know whut? Beebe unnerstood her and didn't try to bite her!

So that's FOUR or FIVE kinds ob ENGLISH I hab lerned. And that doesn't add in whut Phil-the-Lad lerned inna Navy which I am mainly notta'lowed to type because Maman says most ob it is "rude" and not p'lite for youngbuns to lern. (But I wint ahead and lerned it anyhows!)

So that's FIVE or ebben SIX kinds of ENGLISH I'm trying to werk wif heer at Our Warren.

And Language does change, ob course. It never stays the same, but changes as it gets used a lot. I fink da korreckt term is, "Evolves". Mind you, I can't speek dat werd rite onna'kount ob how my toofs are arranged, but I can type it.

But there will be no more "lazy tawking" frum George. I'm gonna do my best to show dat I am becoming a matchur, 'Tellygint housebunny. Ob course, I will still spell werds as I heer them. I'm shure there will be the okayshunal slip-ups whin I slip innu slang, but onna whole, I am gonna try berry hard to write inna unnyform manner so it is easier for hoomins to unnerstan' me.

Becuase that issa whole point of communnykayshun - so that we can unnerstand each udder, and learn to see out thru each udders eyes.

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:36 AM EDT
Monday, 17 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 17
Now Playing: Da Rainbow Bridge
Topic: Da Lore

Tiday issa sad day at Our Warren. Our friend, Angel-Pug, is lebbin' heer to go an' join Belinda, an' Hunny an' Hawthorn anna Ancient Dawg, an' Phil's Bim, an' alla udder Kitties, an' Dawggies, an' Bunnies an' dere Hoomins, atta Rainbow Bridge.

Angel-Pug issa Dawg, anna berry good Dawg. She libbs wif Phil-anna-'Lanna in Marywand. She issa berry owd Dawg, too, an' she is sik an' can't ged bedder. Dere issa wotta pain in her back, an' ebben wiffa bestest V-E-Ts inna werld, her back can't be made to ged enny bedder. She is owd an' tired an' wantsta leeb now forda Meadow onna udder side obba Bridge.

Ob course, Phil-anna-'Lanna wuld likit if Angel culd stay heer an' lib forebber, but dat's not how itis wif annymuls. We don' lib as wong as hoomins assa Gen'ral Rool.

Which is why dere issa Rainbow Bridge.

Dis issa Bridge dat we cross whin we leeb heer. It goes toda Meadows where we kin wait for our Hoomins to come to ged us, so we can make Da Wast Great Journey to God's Great Warren, Alla Us Togedder.

An' as we cross Da Rainbow Bridge, whutebber wassamatta wif us in dis werld is made bedda. If we are sik, we are made well. If we are owd, we are made young. If we hab bin hurted, we are healed ob our hurts. It don't madder whut is wrong wif us, but once we cross da Bridge, we are all rite agin.

An' dere issa Rezon for dis, an' it is cossa dis Rezon dat we annymuls are notta'fraid obba Bridge at all.

An' I know alla'bouddit cos ob Hunny.

Gib me a sekond, an' I'll 'splain it to you, too. Cos, pawt ob bein' a bunny is to hab Hope.


You see, a wong time ago, a wotta hoomins gotted togedder an' dey sed, "Hoomins are da highest form ob Creeashun. Dey are da Top."

An' den sum udder Hoomins sed, "Hoomins are da most 'pawtant fing inna Creeashun cos dey hab 'souls' an' annymuls gots no 'souls'."

An' den udder Hoomins added, "So Hoomins can lib forebber inna pwace called 'Hebbin' an' annymuls can't."

An' dat was preddy much Whut Hoomins Fought Fora Berry Wong Time. Sum Hoomins STILL fink dat.

An' dey are wrong.

Da Troof, axtchually, is whut Hunny sed...

He sed datta wong time ago, dere wassa pwace where annymuls an' hoomins shared a Gardin, an' inna Gardin dere were Two Trees. An' nobun was s'sposed to eet ennyfing frum wunna da Trees.

Den Wun Day da Man Hoomin anna Female Hoomin were tawkin' toda Snake. Anna Snake sed,

"Wookit, da onwiest rezon you can't eet frum dat Wun Tree is cos you was told not to. An' you know why you was told not to? Cos if you do, you're gonna be more 'Tellygint denna Creeator dat made you. It's dat simpul. So you wanna be as gweat assa Creeator? Den hab summa dat froot frum dat Wun Tree."

Anna hoomins had summa dat froot frum dat Wun Tree, cos dey beleebed da Snake an' dey wanted to be gweat (whutebber dat was, cos enneb dey didn't know whut dat was).

Well, da hoomins didn't stop to fink it fru - cos you'll notise datta Snake didn't hab enny obba froot. Nope. He was too skeert ob doin' whut he was told not to do. But he wassa bully an' he just urged da hoomins on to do whut was wrong so dey wuld ged in trubble an' he culd laff abouddit aftawards. Bullys is wike dat.

But da hoomins had done it, dey eated da froot dey was told notta eet an' dat made da Creeator mad, cos wike he sed,

"Whutsamatta wif you? You gotta whole Gardin heer an' you can't ebben wisten to one widdle fing, can you?"

So he frowed dem outta da Gardin an' told dem dat frum den on, dey wuld hab to werk to ged dere food, an' dat dey wuld NOT hab an easy time obbit, cos dey wuld be all OnAlone.

An' he sed, "I'm sowwy I ebben Creeated you, cos you issa wotta trubble. So you are cut off frumma Gardin forebber!"

Butta hoomins cried an' were sad, an' soda Creeator felt bad, cos he lubbed dem cos he had creeated dem, an' dere was pawt ob him inside ob each ob whut he had creeated, no madder how small or how large. So da Creeator had sum Speshul Beings go to help da hoomins lib onna Earf.

Onwy, bein' hoomins, dey hadda preddy short mem'ry an' didn' 'prishyate da Speshul Beings who were sint to help dem - which issa whole Udder Stowy, endin' inna Rilly Big Stowy dat is still goin' on, dat you kin reed aboud inna Buk called The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by sum guy named C.S. Lewis.

But, hang onna'sekond an' you'll notice sumfing heer...

Onwy da hoomins eeted Froot frumma Wun Tree an' got frown outta da Gardin nebber to return.

Nobun ebber axts aboud howda rest ob us gotted heer.

Well, dis is whut Hunny told me... which is howda rest ob us annymuls gotted heer an' it isn' told in enny buks or ennyfing! Dis is Da Lore dat I must nebber fortyged an' allus bemember to pass on.

Da Creeator knew datta hoomins culdn't surbibe inna werld all OnAlone. He had creeated da Gardin as One Great Warren, where it was Alla Us Togedder, an' now, da hoomins were outside da Great Warren. Soda Creeator axted if enny obba annymuls wuld go an help da hoomins who were OnAlone.

Anna annymuls, incloodin' da bunnies - who, up till dat time knew only lub frumma Creeator - sed, "Shure."

Anna Creeator sed, "Cos you hab done ebberyfing axt ob you an' more, you will nebber be cut off frum me wike da hoomins. You can come back heer whin you are tired an' wait for enny speshul hoomins you come to lub. Bud da hoomins, I fear, are forebber changed an' not wike dey were whin dey libbed heer inna Gardin, becos dey hab eeted dat froot I told dem not to eet. But if you lub dem, den dere will be Hope for dem, dat dey mite see in your eyes."

So we annymuls were nebber in need obba soul to be sabbed cos we nebber did whut we was told not to do inna furst pwace.

Hunny called it Bein' Free Obba Sin Ob Adam, an' said since we didn't do whut dis Adam-guy did, we bunnies an' kitties an' dawgs an' udder annymuls aren't punished as dat Adam-guy was. Maman calls it nebber habbin been out ob Communion wif God an' she writes aboud dat wif udder hoomins.

So annymuls, axtchually, Hunny sed, habba bedder rewayshunship goin' wiffa Creeator den most hoomins. An' da onwy rezon dat hoomins fink dey are atta Top ob fings is cos dey are da onwy wuns dey fink can communnykate wif each udder 'bout 'pawtant stuff wike souls or creeashun or immortality. Whut dey hab fortygotten issat dey are not da onwyiest fing inna Unnyberse. Dey mite beda Stewards, but dey still hab to Ansur toa Higher Authority. Cos no madder how far you go bak, dere is allus sumfing dere Furst.

An' Hunny told me alla dis cos he seed it in Owd Rabbit Dreems, whin he was berry owd, afta Belinda weft forda Bridge. He sed dat he culd see fings dat he'd nebber seed bifore, dat he fought were 'pawtant dat I shuld know aboud so I culd tell udders.

Hunny sed, "George, dis is 'Da Lore', an' you must nebber fortyged, an' always bemember to pass it on. Dis is Who We Are an' Why We Are an' why we must allus, no madder whut happins, remain Alla Us Togedder, NoBunny OnAlone. Cos we will all cross Da Rainbow Bridge, George, an' we will all be togedder again! An' knowin' dis will gib bunnies Hope whin da hoomins hab none. Dat is our gift to gib to whom we choose; we will allus hab Hope whin all Hope is gone, becos we know whut lies ahead whin udders can't see."

And so, dis is whut I am doin' tiday: bemindin' ebberybun:

Alla Us Togedder, Nobunny OnAlone!

Wook innu a bunny's eyes an' if you are bwessed you will see it - Hope.

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:42 PM EDT
Sunday, 16 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 16
Now Playing: George Gets Sewious
Topic: The Next Generation
Hullo dere.

You know, whin Belinda cweated The Hay Diaries she usta use it to compwain aboud fings, an' to commint on stuff, an' to state her 'pinions aboud whut was happinin' arounda werld an' ebberywhere's. An' she usta commint onna Noos dat she readed inna noospapers or heared Maman tawkin' aboud wif Dadda or udder hoomins.

Belinda wassa English Spot rabbit an' she hadda wotta 'pinions aboud ebberyfing. She was also a berry 'Tellygint rabbit, which is whut I'm twying to become.

So tiday, I'm gonna type onna berry sewious topik.


Just wike Belinda, I'm gonna habba 'pinion an' I'm puttin' it inna blog, rite heer, for ebberybun to read.

It's aboud dis guy in Australia. Inna noospaper called The Sydney Morning Herald dere wassa artykul onna 13th ob October aboud him. He issa rabbit-killer, onwy dat noospaper calls him a financier (which issa fancy werd dat just means dat he werks wif munny). An' dey showed a pikchur ob him in sunglasses anna suit an' tie dat makes him wook berry 'spectable, wike enny udder owner obba big-time compiny dat werks wif udder hoomins' munny.

Anna artykul goes on, tellin' aboud dis guy, aboud how he killed an' murdered rabbits inna thoroughly disgustin' manner for his own happiness, an' den, da writer obba artykul stawts to twy an' make excuses for why da guy did alla dis murderin'.

Da writer obba artykul says dat it was cossa guy was takin' drugs dat he killed alla poor bunnies in such disgustin' ways. He was takin' sumfing called "ice", which is not gibbin to you by a doktor or ennyfing, dat he killed bunnies for his own pleasure.

Now dis "ice" issn't sumfing dat you buy atta pharmacy or ged frumma reg'lar doktor, wike I sed. It issa bad drug dat you habba get frum sum crimmynal who stands outside onna stweet corner. You hab to wanna buy dis stuff, an' den go outside an' wook for da crimmynal an' pay a wotta munny toda crimmynal to ebben get dis drug called "ice". An' den you gotta wanna take da drug.

Now you'll notice dat nobunny forced dis guy to take dis drug. He did it cos he wanted to ob his own free will an' choice. It wasn' wike sumbunny held him down an' gibbed it to him inna syringe, or stuck a needle in his butt. Nope, he did it cos he wanted to.

An' den he wint out, buyed poor, helpless bunnies frumma pet stores an' murdered dem in disgustin' ways.

Butta noospaper called The Sydney Morning Herald wants hoomins who reed it to fink dat dis guy culdn't help himself, dat he is sum kinda "victim" or sumfing, or dat whut he did doesn't matter cos, afta all, he onwy killed rabbits.

Anna noospaper makes da wun hoomin who came out an' sed sumfing inna defense ob rabbits, Lara Nettle, who issa Pwesident obba Australian Companion Rabbit Society seem wike sumkind ob stoopit or useless perzon.

And dis is NOT troo! Dis perzon issa hoomin who is dedykated to helpin' udder hoomins unnerstan' da happiness ob habbin' bunnies lib wif dem as companions. I know becos I amma Companion Rabbit!

Da noospaper writer quoted Lara Nettle all wrong (an' I know dis for certain, too!) an' da writer edited her remarks so dat she sounded wike sum kinda perzon dat sitted aroun' alla day wong, dwinkin' tea an' huggin' twees, an' just gen'rally bein' outta her mind.

An' dis is not da troof, eidder!

Now noospapers, Maman sed, is supposed to tell da troof, to state da facks, an' to write down stuff hextaktly assit happins so dat udder hoomins can know whut is goin' on an' can make up dere own minds aboud stuff.

Well, if tellin' da troof is whut noospapers is supposed to be doin', den dis writer for dis noospaper is fallin' down onna job!

Cos nobunny who murders to make himself happy issa kinda guy you wanna had runnin' aroun' loose in society.

Nobunny who kills for pleasure gets to be called a "financier" - he's a sadistic murderer wifout a conscious or a sense ob empathy for sufferin'.

In short, whut you hab heer is your basik monster dwessed up inna suit, collar an' tie an' wearin' sungwasses to hide his eyes.

An' you know whut is said aboud eyes? Dat dey are winders toda soul.

An' dat's why dis guy is wearin' sungwasses, you know: cos if you culd see da holes where his eyes shuld be, den ebberybun culd see dat, wike dat noospaper writer, he gots no soul.


Dere was a choice to be made an' dey each - da guy who murdered rabbits who taked da drugs, ANNA noospaper writer who typed aboud him inna noospaper - dey each hadda choice to make.

An' dey made it.

Cos dey fink nobun sees, an' nobun cares cos "it's onwy a bunny".

But dis bunny sees, an' dis bunny cares, an' unwike da bunnies dat were horribly, cruelly murdered, dis bunny hassa voice an' 'pinions dat are all his own to share!

--- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:48 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 17 October 2005 11:39 PM EDT
Saturday, 15 October 2005
George's 10th Stand, Day Numbur 15
Now Playing: Findin' Dr Sharin
Topic: The Next Generation

Yestidday wassa Bad Day, lemme tell you.

It axtchually stawted onna nite bifore dat, whin Maman called Dadda an' sed,

"Wook in Missy's Pootie-box."

So Dadda did, an' he sed, "Don't wook much dif'frunt frumma wast time I wooked innit."

An' Mamam folded her arms, frowned down onna pootie-box an' sed, "Hextactly. It oughtta be full."

An' den Maman wooks at me an' says, "Sorry George."

An' I'm like, "Huh?"

Cos one look in MY pootie-box had shown dem dat I wassa fully funkshunin' rabbit, wif MY inneards goin' wike gang-busters.

So I axted Missy, "Whutsamatta? Don't your tummy feel good?"

An' Missy consentwated for a widdle, an' den sorta sighed an' got mostly flat an' sed, "Mebbe I'll feel bedda if you come lick my eers, Sweedie-pie."

So I did.

But I got distracked by Mr Mouse ober dere gruntin' his hed off, cos Maman's moobin' his habbytat.

An' he's yellin' att'er, "HEY WADY!! Dis ain't the way to go see 'Law & Order', you stoopit hoomin! Goda UDDER WAY!!!"

But Maman wasn't moobin' him so he culd go watch "Law & Order", she was moobin him so she culd get frumma Bun Room out to be onna screen porch.

And she comed right back in frumma screen porch wiffa huge handful ob hay, which she popped innu his habbytat, rite on top ob him.

Well, dat just about fried Mr Mouse, cos he grunted uppa whole widdle storm ob pwotest, all on his own, an' stawted beatin' da hay innu sumbishion.

Den Maman gabe hay to Clover an' Beeb, an' den she came ober to Missy's an' my habbytat an' gibbed us a whole wotta hay - an' DEN she unscrewed da pellet dish frumma side obba habbytat an' taked it away!

So Missybun an' me was pellet-less.

Just wike dat.

An' me an Missy are wike, starin' at each udder, cos we can't beleeb it. How culd Maman take OUR PELLETS? We hadn't done ennyfing wrong, an' it wassn't wike wun ob us was obviously sik or ennyfing. Hokay, so Missy wasn't producin' huge piles ob pooties wike she normally does, but issat enuf to take awa our pellets? So we was, wike, speechwess, an' we just stood dere, wookin' at each-udder, wike, Whut's Gonna Happin Nextest Aroun' Heer?

An' you know, dat is wun qwestun you shuld NEBBER axt. Cos sumbun is bound to feel you needa knowda ansur.

Yeah. So den we found out.

Dadda hand-fed us raisins!

Da nerb.

Clover an' Beebe got dere raisins as normal in dere crock, an' so did Mr. Mouse. I did my Raisin Dance, wookin' all hopeful, as ushual, an' Dadda handed me one, lousey, stinkin' raisin for it.

Den he held up a raisin unner Missy's nose, an' she sniffed it, an' den sed, "You eet it, George, I don't wannit."

So I tried to gedda raisin outta Dadda's fingers, but he wuldn't wet me. He kept shubbin' it unner Missy's nose, not knowin', I guess, dat she sed I culd habbit, but he wassn't wettin' me ged it. So I kept tryin', he kept shubbin' an' Missy kept backin' away, till at wast Maman sed,

"Dat's it, Missy's gonna go see Doktor Sharin Skolnik tomorry. I'll call as soon as I fink her noo clinic is opin."

An' Dadda finally wet me hab dat raisin he'd been shubbin unner Missy's nose.

So I onwy had TWO stinkin' raisins wast nite.

An' NO pellets.

JUST hay an' wadder.

An' Missy STILL didn't leeb ennyfing more in her pootie-box.

So I seddled down wif Missy an' wicked her hed so she wuld feel bedder.

Bunnies hab berry sensitib tummies. Dey hab to werk perfeckly or da bunny kin leeb forda Rainbow Bridge.

Now Maman issa fan-attic aboudda tummies werkin' right, so she is berry careful aboud whut she feeds us. We ged Purina Green Bag Rabbit Chow, but not too menny pellets cos Maman says we is "pellet hogs" (gibbin' da chance), an' we gedda fresh salad, an' we ged unlimited, locally grown Timothy hay. For tweats, we ged raisins or sum udder froot.

So whin yestidday mawnin commed, Maman called Dr. Sharin's noo clinic an' den da fun stawted.

Dr. Sharin Skolnik is our Gen'ral Vet. If fings ged rilly ser'us, we habba go to see Dr. Michael Doolen onna wong car-ride away, an' ushually you godda stay ober-nite if you are sik dat you godda go see him, an' hab surgery, an' come home wiffa zipper innu wike Belinda did - all berry sewious stuff - but so far, whut Missy had wassa Dr Sharin Case, which meens meddysin, pokes inna butt an' habbin' your teef wooked at at wot.

Budda fing was, Dr. Sharin had moobed frum a clinic neer us toa noo clinic in sumpwace called "Old Bridge" dat Maman an' Dadda needed a map an' bof hands to find.

Now Maman an' Dadda aren't good at findin' pwaces whin dey go dribbin' inna car togedder. Dadda dribes, an' Maman nabbygates, which meens dat she tells him where to go, onna'count ob she hassa Mapqwest papers. It can take dem da best pawt ob forebber to ged sumwhere's an' dere ushually issa wotta "Buggerin' aboud" as Hunny wuld say, wif Maman Mapquestin' an' Dadda sayin' werds small bunnies shuldn't nebber heer0.

Bud cos Missy is pawt ob Our Warren an' Maman wants Alla Us Togedder to had da berry best ob care, she an' Dadda was gonna go find dis noo clinic ob Dr Sharin's no madder whut.

An' Missy sed to me, "Wookit, I'm comin' bak frum dis. It may take Maman an' Dadda awhile to figger dis oud, byda sounds ob dem tawkin' aboud it, but I'm comin' bak, Georgie-boy, insida dat trabbelin' case. Ebbin' if it takes till Dawk!"

An' I wicked her nose an' sed I unnerstood. Cos I hate it whin Maman's gotta'wotta MapQwests inna cwip-file.

So Maman god dwessed (allus a big pwojeck cos she's so slow) an' Dadda godda big carrier an' put in MissyBun.

Dey were gone a wong, wong time. So wong datta house got dawk anna Dawg came out innu da Bun Room an' told me not to werry, cos he was keepin' an eye out fordem frumma anteek rockin' chair inna Lounge where he issn'sposed to sit.

I pointed out dat Maman wuld find his fur onna anteek rockin' chair an' den she wuld be mad, butta Dawg sed Maman is stoopit enuf to beleeb dat he onwy puts his frunt feets onna chair to wook outta da winder, so it's hokay.

Fwankwy, I didn't know da Dawg was dat smawt.

So ennyways, dey finally comed home!

An' yup, dey had MissyBun wif dem, anna whole bag ob stuff frum Dr. Sharin.

An' Missy was SO berry, BERRY tired frum alla buggerin' aboud, anna pokin' anna proddin' an habbin' meddysin an' all. Bud she told me ebberyfing atta noo clinic was fine, 'cept it was too far away for her likin' (Missy don't wike to ride inna car) an' she god poked wif needles, an' held down fora Hextray, an' she god pumped fulla wadder cos Dr. Sharin sed she had sum sludge in her bladder, wike Belinda did, onwy nod as bad, so Dr. Sharin teached Maman howta pump Missy fulla wadder...

"An' you know whut kinda mess dat's gonna be." Missy continued. "Cos you an' I BOF know whut kind mess Maman kin mak outta V-E-T's 'struckshuns." Den she shook her hed sadly an' added, "My poor butt."

So I wicked Missy's ears an' told her not to werry, dat we wuld ged fru dis wike we allus did, Alla Us Togedder, but it wuld go a wot fasta if she wuld just leeb a preddy good mess inna pootie-box. Cos seein' a mess ob pooties inna pootie-box hassa wunnerful way ob cheerin' Maman up inna mawnin'.

So whin Maman an' Dadda wint to bed, we hadda a skeery momint, cos Maman readed da labels on alla bodduls dat Maman got frum Dr. Sharin. We was afraid dere was gonna be Meddysin Time wike dere had bin ebbery nite wif poor, ol' Hunny, but den I heerd Dadda say, "No, dear, we'll gib Missy her meddysin da furst fing tomorry mawnin'."

An' I fought, "Well, dat's good. Cos byden, Maman will hab fortygotted ebberyfing."

But no. Mawnin' came, an' Dadda beminded her.

So it seems dat while dere is nuffin 'speshully wrong wif MissyBun's tummy, it mite be geddin' reddy to stawt slowin' down, an' Maman isnn' aboud to wet dis happin'. An' she's nodda'boud to hab enny sludge in Missy's bladder, eidder, so heer come da meddysins.

Bud at weast we know where Dr Sharin is an' we kin ged to her if we hafta, an' now we don' hab to go aroun', bweakin' in enny noo V-E-Ts. Cos dere are not enuf good bunny V-E-Ts as it is, so whin you find a good wun, you godda allus know where you weft dem!

So we knows where our V-E-Ts are, an' we hab dere names an' numburs hangin' onna wist inna Bun Room, an' Maman has dem inna 'puter, too.

Oh, an' we gabe Dr. Sharin a RIFRAF Tee-shirt made by HAREWEAR! Yeah! So now she's pawt obba gwoup, ebben if she issa hoomin!

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:42 AM EDT
Wednesday, 12 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 12
Now Playing: It's Rainin' Floods!
Topic: The Next Generation

Hooboy. Heer we go agin.

Wast week-end it rained. An' it rained berry hard. Anna pond dat we hab inna back gardin dat Dadda sed is dere cossa dwainage isso bad, flooded up an' up almost toda middle obba backyard.

An' den da sun commed out anna wadder wint away.

So now it's rainin' agin. An' heer comes da pond agin.

An' Dadda sed datta guy inna house inna back ob us shuld be shot for puddin' inna swimmin' pool an' not habbin' his prop'ty graded rite. An' now Dadda's on his way up to his office inna Study to draw pwans for sum kinda "Freench Dwain" wiffa digger an' stones an' arkyteks anna dry well (which seems preddy pointless to me whin we got alla dis wadder). So dat's whut he's doin' an' Maman's geddin' out sumfing for tea, so I'm typin' aboudda rain anna pond atta end obba Gardin.

Wast nite, da pond was just byda back fence.

Eawy dis mawnin' it was up toda middle obba yard.

Now it's approachin' da Our Warren Memorial Gardin an' it's still rainin' hard!

Dadda keeps goin' downnastairs toda "cellar" (which I fink issa same assa "basemint" was inna udder house dat we usta hab, where da furn-ness Heeter Monster usta lib) to wook an' see if dere is enny wadder comin' in dere, but as he says to Maman each time whin he comes back, "So far, so good."

Da hay patch Dadda had gwowin' inna yard is unner wadder atta pwesent momint, so it wooks wike dat's preddy much da end ob dat hextperimint for dis yeer. We did gedda widdle hay frummit, but only a berry widdle. Dadda sed dat it wassa god hextperimint. I wuldn't know, since dere was so widdle obbit. Mebbe he'll do a bigger hextperimint gwowin' hay nextest yeer so we kin get a bedder idee ob whuttaheck he has in mind.

Maman's boxywoods pwants are up to dere middles in wadder. She sed dey are susposed to be a "hedge". So far, dey wook wike 3 pwants nextest to each udder by da fence. Dadda says he's gonna put inna'nudder fence ennyways, so dat's preddy much da end ob her "hedge", too.

At weast da Our Warren Memorial Gardin came out preddy good. Dere issa large yellow rose bush, den a flat rock inna triangle atta bottom obba steps. Den dere issa square ob lawn, an den sum more dirt wif 3 minny-at-chur rose bushes - red, ivory an' labbendur - an' den dere issa square digged out wif pebbles, where dere is gonna be sand spread ober it, an den bricks put down where da antique birdbaf is gonna go, wif two stone rabbits-dat-hab-no-smell to guard it. An' dat will be bordered by sum kinda bulbs an' stuff, wiffa pafway fru dem so Dadda can get toda cellar doors.

So dat's not a waste ob effort, ennyways, an' I fink Hunny wuld like to know dat he is dere inna Gardin wiffa rose bushes. I know Maman gets berry sad when she bemembers dat Belinda anna udder bunnies aren't buried dere, an' it's only Hunny dat is, but wike Dadda says, dey are all atta Rainbow Bridge. Whut was weft behind didn't make dem who dey is, an' dhey didn't need dat pawt ob dem enny more.

But Maman still gets wadder in her eyes an' I feel sad for her, because I am sad whin she is sad. If only I culd tell her da fings dat I see whin I cwose my eyes to dweam, den she wuld know, an' be happy...

Missy was just wonderin' if we shuld be geddin out oars. I axted her "Or whut?" an' she sed, "Nebber mind." an' wint ober to tawk to Clover.

I nebber quite know whut dat wifebun ob mine is finkin'.

Ennyway, I am keepin' a closed eye onna wedder inna Gardin.

I am able to do dis onna'count obba Dawg - he wakes me up whinebber he comes in or wantsta go out. Nobunny can sleep fru ennyfing wif him around an' he is allus goin' in or out fru da door.

Dis is cos he doesn't habba pootie-box. He says datta whole back gardin is his pootie-box, but I dunnow 'boud dis. Da Fat Cat says dis is not troo, dat dawgs in gen'ral is too dumb to use pootie-boxes, but we all know dat catz are ebbil, ebben if dey do use pootie-boxes wike we bunnies do.

But Cokie-da-Fat-Cat an' Beep-da-Cat habba 'Lektrik pootie-box, so dey rilly don' know whut da Dawg does, eidder. Bof catz are kinda stuck up ober dere 'Lektrik pootie-box, like it's sumfing onwy dey gots, dat ebberybunny wants, but dis is not rilly so.

For hextample, Belinda hated da 'Lektrik pootie-box. She sed it was ebbil, an' dat cos it was ebbil, dat's how she commed to know dat catz is ebbil. She told me ALL aboud it.

Whin she usta go out for her playtime, she was inna habbit ob leebin' a pootie onna top obba catz pootie-box, just to show dem dat she had bin dere. It's allus a p'lite fing to do, to leeb a pootie to show dat you hab bin sumwheres, an' Belinda wassa berry p'lite bunny. So she allus weft a "callin' card" as she sed, rite onna top obba catz pootie-box to wet dem know datta Top Bunny inna Warren had stopped by to bemind dem dat SHE wassa Top Bunny an' dere wassn' enny diskusshun on dat point. Dat's bein' p'lite.

So wun day, whin she was oud for her playtime, she got innu da catz pootie-box as ushual, an weft a pootie, rite on top obba sand, as she allus did, an' den she hopped down. Just bein' p'lite, as ushual.

Well, afta a couple ob sekonds, da pootie box stawted hummin', an' den it stawted rakin', anna shubble-wike fing came up an' scooped Belinda's pootie offa da sand an' flicked her pootie innu a buckit-type fing bifore it raked it's way back innu where it belonged.

Da 'Lektrik pootie-box had flicked out Belinda's pootie rite in frunt ob her berry eyes!

As you kin imagine, seein' her "callin' card" bein' tweated wike dis made Belinda a widdle bit uppysed.

So, finkin' dat dere musta ben sum mistake, Belinda got back inna catz 'Lektrik pootie-box an' left anudder pootie onna sand an' hopped out agin. She wassn' gonna wet sum 'Lektrik pootie-box make HER wook imp'lite.

An' inna few sekonds, da 'Lektrik pootie-box stawted hummin' agin, an' heer comed da shubble fing agin, an' it flicked out her pootie innu da widdle buckit-fing all ober agin!

Well, dat made Belinda mad. Cos nobunny ebber dared mess wif Belinda's "callin' cards" bifore an' she wassn' aboud to had sum machine "stawt wif her" now.

So she hopped rite back innu da catz 'Lektrik pootie box an' left a whole pile ob pooties an' peed on'em, too, cos she was rilly, RILLY angry now.

Anna 'Lektrik pootie-box skooped alla dat away, too, innu da widdle buckit.

So whin Maman came out innu da room where da 'Lektrik pootie-box was, dere was Belinda hoppin' in an' out obba 'Lektrik pootie-box, lebbin' one pootie afta anudder an' growlin' in frustration.

So Belinda sed datta 'Lektrik pootie-boxs was Ebbil an' dat I shuld nebber, ebber beleeb whut catz say cos ennyfing dat wuld use a 'Lektrik pootie-box hasta also be ebbil, which is why I can't nebber beleeb Cokie-da-Fat-Cat whin he says datta Dawg doesn't habba whole gardin for his pootie box.

Besides, da Dawg preddy much seems to know whut's goin' on outside inna whole Gardin an' Maman does wet him in an' out dere preddy much alla day wong.

Dat's wun fing aboudda Dawg - if he's in, he wants out; if he's out, he wants to pway ball wif sumbun. Ebben inna rain, he takes his ball out inna rain an' axts Maman to frow it for him. She says he's stoopit wike dat, an' dat he shuld know whin to come in outta da rain, but 'parentwy, he don't.

Ennyways, da Dawg just came in agin frum out inna Gardin an' he says datta pond back dere is up ober his paws inna middul obba yard, an' up to his elbows byda furst tree wiffa squirrells innit, an' pwob'ly up to his tummy inna tree behind dat where dere are more squirrells, but dat he didn' go chek onna'count ob Maman wuld hollar if he got his tummy-fur all soppin' wet an' she hadda dry him off wiffa towel agin.

An' he sed it's still rainin', but I knowed dat allreddy cos I can hear it hittin' onna widdle can-o-pee ober da door (I hab nebber bin shure why Maman keeps a can ob pee ober da back door. Sumday, I will bemember to axt da Dawg.).

An' Dadda has just comed up frumma "cellar" which I fink is inna same pwace assa "basemint" atta old house, an' wike he told Maman,

"So far, so good."

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:23 PM EDT
Tuesday, 11 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 11
Now Playing: Hallowe'en an' Bememberin'
Topic: The Next Generation

Yestidday wassa hollyday, Maman sed. I dunno whut kinda hollyday cos dere wassn enny dekkyrayshuns up aroun' da houz, but Maman is makin' Dadda pull out stuff frumma attik onna'count ob Hallowe'en.

Now Hallowe'en issa hollyday dat I sorta gotta handle on - mainly onna'count obba fakt dat we hab sellybrated it bifore. Seems dat widdle kidlets come toda door obba houz wearin' costooms an' Maman gibs dem candy.

But Maman says dat Hallowe'en is more den just costooms an' candy. She says it issa berry old, old sellybrashuns frumma past bifore dere wassa Church, an' dat in Inkwand, da Church taked da hollyday ober an' made it innu All Saints' an' All Souls' Days, da days dat we bemember alla dose who has gone to da Rainbow Bridge bifore us, sorta leebin' us behind heer.

So Maman is geddin' alla dekkyrayshuns togedder forda houz to make it kyoot forda kidlets to come an' ged dere candy. She has kyoot scarecrows, an' fuzzy catz, an' fake spider webs an' udder fake creepy stuff, an' cheerful skellytins an' stuff.

Dat's da light-hearted fun stuff dat goes wif candy an' kidlets.

But forda sewious pawt, da pawt aboud bememberin' does who hab gone toda Rainbow Bridge, Maman is pwannin' Church, an' to pway her two fav'rit songs by her fav'rit Church composer, "Ralf Vaughn Williams". Da songs are called "For Alla Saints", an' Immortal, Invisible. Maman's Dadda usta conduct dese songs ebbery yeer at dis time whin he wassa Church Choir Dirktor, an' Maman usta help him by pwayin' her 'cello in his stwing "quartet" an' writin' uppa'rangmints for him.

Heer at Our Warren we call dose songs Bim Songs, sorta wike his Spring Is Sprung song, onwy a whole wot more seriouser. I mean dis is sewious orch-est-wa musiks.


So, ennyways, on Hallowe'en Our Warren bemembers bunnies who hab gone toda Bridge.

Dere was Bunner who wassa furst bunny to ebber be in Our Warren. Phil-da-Lad rescued him frumma pet store where he was gonna be food fora snake. Maman didn't know about neuterin' or ennyfing at dat time, so she an' Phil joined da San Diego House Rabbit Society to learn aboud habbin' bunnies.

Den dey gots Periwinkle frumma backyard breeder. She wassa widdle brown an' white Inkwish Spot kinda bunny.

Den came Maman habbin' to leeb da fambly cossa Man Who Had Married Maman did horrybul fings to her anna Childrens, inkloodin' Phil-da-Lad. Ann' dere were horrybul lawyers an' skerry fights an' polices all ober, an' dat Man Who Had Married Maman got rid ob alla annymals 'cept forda Ancient Dawg, Tristan.

An' Phil-da-Lad cried an' cried an' cried as wun by wun his fur-friends was takin' away frum him or sent away toda Rainbow Bridge, until he was all OnAlone wif onwy da Ancient Dawg, Tristan, to be wif him an' be his Warren. Cos Phil-da-Lad wassa berry widdle lad bak den an alla hoomins were berry cruel to him cos Maman was sint away in Inkwand an' Phil was wif Tristan.

An' Bunner an' Periwinkle, sadly, culdn't stay wif him an' dey wint away wiffa Black Rabbit toda Rainbow Bridge togedder.

So I was talkin' to Our Dawg, who is named Zack'ry-Marcus an' he sed he knowed alla'boud stuff wike dat, cos dat is whut happined to him, almost.

He hadda fambly bifore he wassa pawt ob Our Warren, an' dere wassa mawmie, a dadda an' kidlets dere, too. An' wun day, dere wassa wotta fights an' yellin' an' stuff dat he didn' unnerstan'.

An' he dida wotta barkin' an' werryin' an' jumpin' up atta mawmie anna dadda whin dey was yellin' an all, an' dey yelled at him. An' he didn' know whut to do.

An' wun day, dey put him inna car an' taked him sumwheres an' weft him wiffa wotta udder dawgs dat he didn' know. An' dey nebber commed back for him. Dey was just gone.

An' den, wun day, Maman camed, an' she pud him in her car an' dey dribed a wong way, anna Zack'ry-Marcus didn' know whutdaheck was goin' on, he was just ridin' inna car wif Maman anna radio playin' tunes.

So dey comed to Maman's Momma-an-Dadda's house, bud he culdn't stay dere, cos her Momma sed he was too big, so he commed to Our Warren where he meeted Belinda an'Hawthorn, an' Hunny an' Poet, an Clover an' Beebe, MissyBun, anna nudder bunny, called Sno-ball ExFoster. I wassn' heer yet onna'cout ob not bein' borned.

An' den Maman's Dadda wint toda Bridge, an' Maman's Momma suddinly wanted Zack'ry-Marcus to lib wif her. So he moobed house again.

It issa good fing, he says, dat he is so good at moobin'.

An' den Maman's Momma god sick, an' poor, Zack'ry-Marcus was OnAlone again - onwy, we didn' know. We thought dat he was wif Maman's dotter, but she wassn't payin' enny 'tenshun to Zack'ry-Marcus AT ALL.

He wassn' geddin' food. He wassn' geddin' time out. He wassn' geddin' ennyfing but time to sit by himself onna bed while da dotta's dawg bited him an' stole alla his food.

So he was BERRY hoppy an'gwad whin Alla Us Togedder moobed innu dis house wif him. Maman's Momma told Maman to moob heer sodat we culd alla-us-togedder become One Big Warren along wif Zack'ry-Marcus. An' so dat is whut happined. We became Our Warren
But it is berry hard on annymuls whin dere hoomins suddinly don' seem to wanna hab dem enny more.

Nobun tells da annymuls ennyfing. Nobun 's'splains. Sumtimes, no pwans are made for dem at all, an' dey end up goin' to da Rainbow Bridge cos dey are not wanted an' da hoomins who axtchully lub dem aren't listened to.

Dis is whut happined wif Bunner an' Periwinkle. Cos Da Man Who Had Married Maman didn't care aboutta bunnies, an' didn't care aboud or wisten to Phil-da-Lad. So dose bunnies didn't gedda go toda V-E-T whin dey was sik. An' dey gotted sik. Dey didn't ged enny fresh hay. An' ALL bunnies need fresh hay. Dey didn't hab enny good food. An' ALL bunnies deserb to hab good-for-dem food.

Dose poor bunnies got whut hoomins call resented just for bein' alibe.

An' so, berry quietly, da Black Rabbit comed an' taked dem outta dere sad widdle cages an' showed dem da way ober da Rainbow Bridge toda Meadow, where dey can wait for Phil-da-Lad inna long green gwass an' bwight sunshine.

Da Black Rabbit does kindnesses wike dat. Whin hoomins are cruel, da Black Rabbit is sumtimes da onwyiest hope datta bunny has weft.

An' dat's why Maman allus bemembers All Saints' an' All Soul's Days as hollydays.

For Alla-Dem-Togedder who hab gone on bifore...

--- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 2:11 PM EDT
Friday, 7 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 7
Now Playing: EbberyBunny's Nutz
Topic: The Next Generation

Well, Clover's Lotterry Numburs were aboud as far away frumma Numburs onna TeeBee as you can ged wiffoud goin' to unudder country. Mebbe tinite's da nite wike Dadda sed, or mebbe it rilly is all a wotta "ah-doh aboud nuffin" as Maman suspeks.

Auntie Irene an' Dadda are preddy shure Maman's atty'tude is gonna mess dis "Lotterry" fing all up.

Well, Auntie Irene is preddy shure it is. Onna udder paw,Dadda nebber feels dere culd be ennyfing wrong wif Maman onna'count ob she is perfeck.

Auntie Irene says she suspeks Dadda is de-loo-ded. But I gotta bemind you dat Auntie Irene is sympafetik to catz, too, which kinda makes her a widdle suspeck inna wong run.

So dere you are.

Well, yestidday, Maman gotted a noo cattylog frum wunna dose stores where she orders stuff to wear. She seems to wike dis store cos it has nice coats an' NONE OB DERE COATS EBBER HAS ANNYMUL FUR ON'EM! If dere is "fur" dekkyrayshuns onna coats, dey is faux fur which Maman says issa onwy kinda "fur" ennybunny shuld be wearin' cos it is not sumbunny else's fur, but fur dat is made outta "syn-thet-tick matt-terry-als" which means dat it issn' reel fur, but made outta cloth, which is hokay.

Maman an' Dadda bof beelieeb dat fur bewongs on it's original owner an' not on ennybunny else!

So Maman seed dis coat in dat she wants in dis cattylog. An' she showed it to Dadda. An' Dadda sed it was nice, so Maman shuld ged it.

An' Maman sed, "No."

Now I can't figger dis out. She hassint buyed a coat inna wong time, an' she don't got much fur ob her own, 'cept on her head where it is onwy long, not 'speshully fick an' she is allus compwainin' aboud how she is cold.

So why does she show Dadda a coat she wantsta buy, dat she told me she wikes, an' den, afta Dadda says to buy it, she says, "No."?

I meen, wook attit dis way. MissyBun wikes raisins. You offer her sum raisins an' she don't say, "No" - she bounces all ober me, twyin' to ged her hed innu da bowl bifore I can ged a look-in. Ebben doh we ged raisins ebbery nite, she still wants alla dem. She don't say, "Oh, yeah, I want raisins!" an' den she baks away whin dey is gibben to her. Notta chance! Nope, she is rite in dere, shubbin' me outta da way so she can eat dem all by herself.

Now dis is troo wobunly beehabyour.

I find Maman berry perplexin'. Not to menshun not-too-brite, but Belinda allus sed dat dere was sumfing wrong wif Maman. Nuffin' sewious, just "sumfing", you know?

Ennyways, heer we are dis mawnin' wif Maman geddin' up early again wif Dadda, anna man is comin' to fix da tall clock inna Libbin' Room.

Now nobun is 'lowed innu da Libbin' Room, or "Lounge" as Dadda calls it. Catz, da Dawg an hoomins kin walk fru on dere way to sumwheres else, but unwess dey is "compiny" dey cann't sit on enny obba chairs, or wook at enny obba nice fings in dere. If Phil-da-lad is bein' good, he is 'lowed to pway wunna da pie-an-os an' make musicks, but dat's aboud it so far assa Libbin' Room goes.

So Maman is habbin sum guy come to fix da tall clock in dere, cos it doesn't werk.

Well, my qwetshun is dis: if nobun is 'lowed innu da Libbin' Room, den why does dere habba be a clock werkin' in dere?

Maman says datta clock is susposed to pway musicks an' "chime". But we gots Phil to do da musicks fing whin he comes heer, so whut's da point? We're gonna habba clock dat pways musicks inna room dat nobunny visits.

Whutta noos-flash.

Dadda sed iffa bloody fing ticks too loud, he's gonna hab to turn it off.

Well, dat's useful, too.

So Maman will ged da tall clock fixt, an' Dadda will turn it off.

An' Dadda is stoppin' by da Pet Store to ged us some more "Yesterdays News" litter for our litter-boxes. Mouse says it's aboud time. But Mouse is all cheesed off cos Dadda made him ged back in his habbytat yestidday afta Auntie Irene came.

Mouse wantsta be "Free Range Mouse", ebben doh he weighs 4 pounds.

I meen, wet's face it: Mouse weighs 4 pounds, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat weighs 39 pounds; Beep-da-Cat weighs 14 pounds anna Dawg weighs 55 pounds. Inna You-Sit-Onnit Contest, who is gonna loose here?

Maman keeps tellin' Mouse dat alla Dawg hasta do is ged PO'ed onct, an' it will be all ober for Mouse - an' DIS is why he is NOT "Free Range Mouse".

But Mouse is cheesed off ennyways an' gruntin'.

So dis is wunna dem "Contrary Days" at Our Warren when ebberyfing is goin' on an' nuffin' makes enny sense.

Mebbe it's cos it's gonna rain heer soon.

Furst time inna wong time, it's gonna rain. I know, cos I kin smell it whin Maman opined da door to wet da Dawg go out innu da Gardin dis mawnin.

An' don'cha know, she's dere yellin' at him not to pee onna minnyatchur rose bushes? You know, wike dere not gonna ged good an' soaked waiter on, what wif alla wadder I kin smell inna air dat's gonna come down soon as rain.

But dat's hoomins for you. Dey habbin't godda cloo.

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:41 AM EDT
Thursday, 6 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 6
Now Playing: Why I Am Wate
Topic: The Next Generation

Whoa, I am wate gettin' to my blog tiday!

It was just wun fing afta anudder, but mostwy, it was onna'count ob Auntie Irene comin' to visit us wif pieces ob paper.

Well, furst Maman hadda cwean uppa house cos Auntie Irene was comin' to ged her Hareware Hurrican Relief Pin.

You do know 'boud Hareware rite? Dat's a compiny in Callyfornia dat pwoduces da most bee-yoo-tiy-full pottery inna werld, an' tee-shirts an' pins dat were made speshul forda Relief effort forda Animal Victims ob Hurrycane Katrina. Alla munny collected wint to Noah's Wish which issa speshul gwoup ob hoomins who rescue pets who ged caught in disasters. Good hoomins who care!

You kin go toda Hareware web-site by goin' to:Hareware and also pwease see: for udder gweat fings from da same wunnerful hoomins & bunnies!

So ennyways, Auntie Irene commed ober, an' she stayed for awhile, but you know whut happined? An' I'm tellin' you, you won't believe dis whin I tell you whut happined, but I'm gonna tell you ennyways, cos it's preddy amazin'.

Auntie Irene is wookin' aroun' da Bun Room, an' she says to Maman,

"Wookit whut I gots!"

An' she shows Maman sum pieces ob paper.

An' Maman goes, "Ooooooh!"

An' Auntie Irene axts, "Which wunna your bunnies issa wucky bunny dats gots wucky feets?"

An' I'm wike all ears, cos I'm da bunny who wint to Church an' got blessed an' ebberyfing. So you'd fink I'm preddy wucky, you know?

But Maman says, "Well, I dunno, dere is Mouse. He watches 'Law & Order'."

An' Auntie Irene wooks at Mouse an' Mouse grunts, so you know dat's pretty much obba Not-Gonna-Happin-Kinda-Fing, cos Auntie issa Cat-Perzon an' is allus afraid dat she is gonna smoosh a bunny if she twies to pik wun up or sumfing. An' Mouse issn' da most "user-fwiendly" bunny in Our Warren.

So Maman goes on, "An' dere's Missy an' George."

An' Auntie Irene wooks at us an' (you won't beleeb it!) Shakes...Her...Hed!

Well, you know, at furst I sorta felt a widdle bad, bud Maman was pattin' me, so it wasn't wike I was bein' rejeckted or ennyfing, so I didn't mind so much as I fought I wuld. Not whin I seed whut happined nextest, ennyways.

Cos den Auntie Irene hassa wook at Clover anna Beeb. An' her eyes god big an' she s'claims,

"Dat's it! Dat's da wucky bunny!"

An' she's pointin' at Clover!

Clover! Who hardly nebber says ennyfing, an' cweans up afta Beebe-bunny - she's da WUCKY bunny in Our Warren?

You godda be kiddin' me.

But, nope, it's Clover.

So Dadda opins uppa habbytat an' hauls out big, ol' MsClover, an' Auntie Irene opins up da bits ob paper an' stawts rubbin' da papers on Clover's feets.

An' I'm ober heer finkin', Whutdaheck?

An' Clover's wookin' at MissyBun wike, "Ack! Whuttaheck?"

An' Missy's wookin' back at Clover wike, "Howdaheck do I know?"

An' Beeb is inna habbytat bouncin' up-an-down an' gruntin' cos he hates it whin Dadda piks up Clover, or ebben touches Clover, cos Clover is his wommin, an' nobun is sus'posed to ebben wook att'er wiffoud his permisshun.

An' ob course, Mouse is gruntin', cos dat's whut he does.

An' den Auntie Irene folds uppa bits ob paper an' scritches Clover's ears an' makes a big fuss ob her. An' den she says to Maman,

"Well, you bemember whin Palmer usta always lie onna Lotterry Tikits, an' dey allus won? Well, Jeremiah Winslow is world's laziest cat an' he won't lie on dem, an' da tikits allus lose. So I've decided that bunnies' feets are wucky. An' I thought, Charlotte has bunnies, so I wuld come ober heer an' see which wassa wuckiest bunny she had. An' heer you hab a very wucky bunny!"

An' Maman says, "Well, bunnies' feet are only wucky whin dey are still attached toda rabbit, you know."

An' Auntie Irene, who volunteers wif sumfing called Alley-Cat Allies an' issa annymul lubber wike Maman an' Dadda (ebben if she does wike catz) says to Maman,

"Well, of course! Dat's da onliest kind ob bunny feets as far as I'm concerned!"

So tinite, we habba tune innu sum pwogwam onna TeeBee dat issn' "Law & Order" to see if Auntie Irene's tikits dat was rubbed on Clover's feets is rilly wucky afta all.

Mouse is gonna hate dis.

An' if not tinite, den tomorry nite.

Mouse is gonna hate dat ebben more, speshully ifits whin "Law & Order" is sus'posed to be on.

Maman says it wuld be rilly cool if dis "Lotterry" fing werks, but she don't belieb in dat stuff. Dadda says dat much stwanger fings hab happined, an' he beminded her ob whut her Granddaddy usta say:

"Dere are more fings in Hebben an' on Earth den we hab ebber dreampt or prayed for."

Which, whin you fink aboud it, leebs a whole wotta stuff to happin, Clover's feets bein' preddy much da weast ob fings.

So dat was preddy much whut happined tiday, an' why I am so wate in postin' my entry inna Blog.

I guess we shuld all be rubbin' our feets heer, so I'll get down to it an' see if dis "lotterry" fing werks out.

Whutebber a "lotterry" is.

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 6:37 PM EDT
Wednesday, 5 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 5
Now Playing: Bunny Eekonomiks
Topic: The Next Generation

Stay wif me, I'll ged dis Numburin' Systim werked out the way I wantit preddy soon. It's gonna take a few hext'perimints, but I'll get dere. It wike Belinda sed, "Ebberyfings a learnin' hext'perience. Ifit don' werk wun way, shub it harder."

I'm not shure aboudda sekond pawt ob dat adbice, but you nebber know - Belinda libbed to be a berry old bunny an' she wassa Top Bun in Our Warren, so she knowed a wotta stuff an' wassa Berry 'Tellygint Bunny, so she mite turn out to be rite.

Den again, although she wuld nebber say it, Hunny sed dat dere had been times whin she was not quite rite aboud ebberyfing, which didn' meen dat she was hext'actly wrong, but she wasn' hext'actly rite eidder.

An' Hunny wassa Berry 'Tellygint Bunny, too, an' he libbed to be ebben much older den Belinda, which is rilly sumfing sheshul. Dey writed Hunny up inna medikul buks, he was dat old.

So I hab growed up wif two berry 'pressib bunnies an' hab sum big foots to fill, you know?

Ennyways, Maman an' I was wookin' atta adverts (dats whut Maman calls 'em) onna fing onna 'puter called "E-Bay". Maman is wookin' to buy anudder 'cello, which issa big fing dat libs inna corner obba Study wiffa Musik Buks an' stuff inna big, grey box wif lox on. She told me datta 'cello pways musik, but I habbin't heered it, so I don' know. Ennyways, she wants a noo "praktis" wun cos I don' know why. Mebbe da wun dat libs heer allreddy don' praktis ennymore or sumfing. I dunno.

So we were wookin', an' Maman finded sumfing else an' dis is it:

You can go to se it too. It issa "Buuny Fart Inna Bottle."

Dat's whut Maman readed out to me.


Sum guy in Wolverhampton, Inkwand, is sellin' a bunny fart inna bottle an' 3 hoomins (I guess dey are hoomins, cos bunnies aren't gonna buy farts whin dey can do their own, you know?) hab bid on dat itim allreddy! Anna guy sed he'll ebben add inna pikchur ob his bunny to proob dat da fart-inna-bottle is reel. And he'll ship da bottle wiffa fart innit toda States, too. (What, we don't gotta'nuf ob our own or sumfing?)

Ennyways, dat's whut Maman an' I founded dis mawnin' on E-Bay.

So I'm finkin', you know, dat bunny poo is rilly good for gwowin' roses. Dis is troo cos Dadda sed so, an' ebbin Maman, who can't gwow a gardin to sabe her wife an' can kill pwants just by wookin' att'em, says it is troo dat bunny pooties are good forda Gardin.

Now if bunny pooties are so good for roses, howcome nobun is sellin' pooties on E-Bay? I meen, wookit, here's sum guy in Wolverhampton sellin' bunny farts inna bottle. An' ebben ifit issa'tracktib bottle (he says dat it is, but to be honest, it wooks preddy much wike enny udder bottle to me frumma pikchur he pwobides) still, what's da use obba fart?

Whut'cha need are pooties!


Putt'em inna'tracktib bottles, an' sell'em on E-Bay as good for roses.

Dis is how bunnies can make munny an' become financhally innypendant ob hoomins!

You see, Hawthorn Bunny was rite whin he sed dat we habba corner da mawkit on pooties. Cos onwy bunnies can pwoduce dem, so onwy bunnies shuld exploit dem.

An' we'd bedder hurry, cos sum wisebutt ober in Woverhampton is allreaddy exploitin' his bunny's farts. It won't be wong 'til he geds aroun' to exploitin' da bottom obba bun's own, personal pootie box!

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 1:52 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 5 October 2005 3:05 PM EDT
Tuesday, 4 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day 4
Now Playing: Geddin' A Sekond Chance
Topic: The Next Generation

Belinda hadda systim for keepin' her Blog an' I discobbered dat I gots enny Systim.

Dat is, I didn't hab wun 'til I tawked to MsClover 'boud'it.

MsCloverBun, who issa wife-bun to Beebe-Bunny!!, pointed alla dis out to me wast nite. Ms Clover is wun berry organnyized bunny.

Maman calls her da "Hausfrau" bunny cos she is allus cleanin up her an' Beebe's habbytat. Ebbery mawnin', she hassa pile ob picked-fru hay for Maman to fro out, an' she has pushed da wadder anna food crocks to be filled uppa'gin. She is mostwy a tidy bunny, bud dis is cos she hasta be, cos she is bun-wife to Beebe, who issa mostwy disorgannyized bunny who mostwy onwy runs aroun' shoutin' "YO!" an' bitin' ebbery hand dat comes innu da habbytat.

An' Beebe runs aroun' a wot, shoutin' "YO!" an' bitin' cossa poor old guy spint da beginnin' ob his life assa "Skool Bunny" inna fish tank inna classroom fulla kids who didn' care aboud him much, inna skool in Phillydelphia inna pwace called Pencilvaneya.

3 yeers spint libbin' inna fish tank wif widdle hoomins tappin' onna gwass, an' shubbin' stuff atcha fru da wire on top, an' pokin' you, an' gibbin you all kinds ob rubbish to eat, wif nowhere's to hide, an' nuffin' to see an' nobun to rilly lub you is no way to stawt your life, lemme tell you.

So finally a teecher gotted him outta dat pwace an' taked him to sum hoomins who were kind, but who didn' habba cloo aboud' takin' care obba bunny. So Maman an' Dadda hadda dribe alla way to sumpwace called "Marywand" (which is where Phil-da-lad libs now) to rescue Beeb frum dat sitcheeayshun, too, but dat wassa wong time ago bifore I was 'dopted innu Our Warren.

But ebben so, Beeb has nebber gotted ober his horrybul stawt in life an' is still nuts.

Dis issa sad fakt for menny bunnies: dey get a bad stawt in Life cos ob hoomin stoopidity an' neglect - wike Beebe - an' dey nebber, ebber are able to ged ober it. It stays wif dem, an' dey are da biters, da fearful ones, da bunnies dat end up libbin' in shelters, who nebber ged 'dopted cos dere 'spirences wif hoomins hab been SO berry bad dat dey can't fortyged it.

So dees bunnies areda ones who don't come forward atta shelters whin hoomins are wookin' fora bunny to 'dopt, an' dey cower inna backs ob der cages atta shelters, an' dey are nebber 'dopted innu lubbin' homes! Dees areda bunnies who Nebber Gedda Sekond Chance at habbin' a good life wiffa GOOD hoomin.

An' all too oftin, at sum shelters dat hab no room cos ob MORE STOOPIT HOOMINS, a tag gets put on der cage dat says "Un-adoptable" an' dees poor bunnies are killed.

All because hoomins were mean to dem inna beginnin' an dey were nebbber able to ged ober it.

It's not da bunny's fault dat dey are afraid an' skeert an "un-adoptable"! But dey is kilt ennyways, cos dey are not "friendly" an' "'doptable".

An' hoomins who meet him wonder whuttsamatta wif Beebe. Well. We know whuttsamatta wif Beebe, but it don' matta to us at Our Warren. We just take care ob him an' tweat him kindwy, Maman says, cos sumwheres in his widdle hed, he knows he is lubbed, an' lubs us bak.

Bud MsClover hasta be berry organnyized wif him. She wets him hab raisins, an' den she pushes him outta da crock so she kin hab sum an' he don' ged sik frum eatin' too much sugar. An' she makes sure dat he gwooms her an' she holds him down so she can keep him tidy, too.

All in all, she has him in good shape, cos his whites are nice an' white an' ebben if his widdle uppy ears which usta be bwack are fadin' to grey, dey are a cwean grey, you know? Just wike da rings aroun' his widdle eyes. Da rings usta be bwack, too, but now dey are grey, an' dat's why Maman an' Dr. Sharin, da V-E-T, fink dat Beebe is older den dey fought at furst. Beebe is pwobably wike nine or ten years old, an' his wong wife can "pwob'ly be 'tributed", Dr. Sharin an' Maman sed, to alla good care he gots frum his bun-wife, MsClover.

So ennyways, MsClover telled me 'bout how Belinda had dis Blog-fing all organnyized, dat ebbery 30 days or so, Belinda would add a "strand" ob "hay" to her "diary". Cos Belinda sed datta diary is wike a bale ob hay, dat it is untidy wike a bale ob hay, an' it has menny strands wike a bale ob hay, an' it seems to wander all ober da pwace, wike hay outta a bale wanders all ober da house by itself (If you hab ebber hadda bale ob hay yourself, you know whut I'm tawkin' aboud!) an' dat it takes about 30 days fora strand ob hay to werk its way frumma Bun Room alla 'round da houz, back toda Bun Room agin.

Belinda wassa berry clebber bunny, but dis is onna'count obba fakt dat she wassa Inkwish Spot Bunny an' Maman says dat Inkwish Spots are berry "Project Oriented Bunnies" (whutebber dat meens).

So afta MsClover told me alla dis, I fought to myself dat Belinda hadda preddy good idee goin' an' dat I wuld try keepin' it up. So I wooked ober Belinda's Entries in dis The Hay Diaries an' I decided dat I wuld begin my own systim ob numberin' da strands.

In udder werds, I was gonna Gedda Sekond Chance at dis "Systim Fing".

So here goes. Yeah.

Now 'cordin' to Maman's 'puter calander, dis monf ob "October" issa 10th monf obba hoomin yeer. Rabbits don't hab months, we hab Seasons an' dey hab names, not numbers, but I'm not gonna bother you wif alla dat heer. Lagomorphin Cultchur is just dif'frunt, an' I don' 'spect ebberybun to ged it rite off, much wess 'spect me to 'splain it all an' ged it rite. So I'm just gonna go wiffa hoomin monfs, an' gib dem numbers, since numbers seem to make fings easier for hoomins ennyways.

So does dis make sense? Dis is my 10th Strand ob Belinda's Blog, which is called The Hay Diaries, an' dis is da Number Four Day ob dis 10th Strand.

If you don't geddit, don' werry. Just keep readin' an' I'll keep postin' an' we'll ged fru dis, sumhow.

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:28 PM EDT
Monday, 3 October 2005
The Blessing of the Animals (II) 3 Oct 05
Now Playing: What I Seed at St. Luke's
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, I gotta tell you 'bout bein' a Church Bunny at St. Luke's cos yestidday, atta Blessing Obba Annymuls, I was one forda Furst Time! An' lemme tell you, it was sumfing amazin'!

I meen, I hab nebber been da Church Bunny, but I hab heered aboudd'it, mostwy frum Hunny, who was Our Warren's Berry Furst Church Bunny.

So da Furst Church Bunny in Our Warren was Hunny an' he sed he got to be it by akkydint. He told me dat he didn' set out to beda Church Bunny or ennyfing, dat he was just dere in his habbytat, mindin' his own biznez bein' Top Bun, habbin' tweats, amblin aroun' an' checkin' his butt (dis is whut he sed) an' suddinly, Maman had dis wady ober for whutta hoomins call "tea".

Now frum whut I kin unnerstan, "tea" issa komplykated biznez inbolbing food an' tawkin'. Dere issa whole wotta tawkin', speshully if da wady-hoomins is good friends. An' Hunny sed dis wady who comed ober toda house wassa friend ob Maman's an' she hadda Pwoblem.

She hadda go visit sum sik childrens who didn't tawk in Inkwish, an dey were berry, berry sik in sum hoomin hospiddle far away. Anna wady (whose name wassa ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay, just so you know) didn't know whuttaheck she was gonna say toda childrens whin she gotted toda hospiddle dat culd make dem feel bedda cos she didn' know how to speak in dere wanguage.

So Maman seggested takin' dem a plush toy bunny to each childer, anna wetter typed by a bunny - cos bunnies don't speak in Inkwish assa Furst Wanguage, eidder. Da ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay wiked dat idee, an' so Maman buyed a coupula big plush bunnies, an' she an' Hunny togedder typed uppa wetter frum him, anna ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay gotted sum bunny colourin' buks an' crayons (dees are sticks ob wax dat hab colours. Dey are not gud to eet.) An' in his wetter, Hunny typed aboud bein' inna Warren, an' how bunnies nebber leeb each udder OnAlone, but allus do ebberyfing alla us togedder inna Warren. He told me dat he sed dat St. Luke's Church was kinda wika warren in dat way, too - allus doin' fings alla us togedder, an' not leebin' each udder OnAlone. He sed dat he was hopin' atta time dat hoomin childer wuld be wike rabbit childer an' just wanta know dat ebberybunny was finkin' obb'em.


An so (Hunny telled me) ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay wint uppa dat hospiddle an' seed da childrens an' dey got bedder.

Den comed Easter, an' ReveranDoktorV'GinnySheay axt Hunny to come to St.Luke's to sooperbise da Easter Egg Hunt. So Hunny was wike, "Well, whuttaheck, why not?" So Maman putted on his harness, an he sat in his baskit, an wint to St. Luke's. An' while he was dere, he got Blessed.

For no rezon. He sed he just was there, sittin' in his baskit an' he was Blessed an' it wasn't ebben Da Blessin' Obba Annymuls or nothin', just dat he was dere an' ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay gibbed him a Blessin'. An' it was for ALL ob Our Warren (which in dose days was onwy Hunny, Maggie, Heatherington, Willow an' Belinda).

So dat was how Hunny got innu da habit ob goin' to St. Luke's for Easter.

An' den, Hunny sed, Maman rescued a bunny named "Smokey" an' he wassa BIG bunny, an' he usta go to St. Luke's onna Sunday named "Penntycost" an' he got to wear a big red bow on his baskit. Anna wotta hoomins usta wook forwards to pettin' him, cos he was berry kind, an slow, an' patient. Maman says she is sowwy dat she don't hab piccies ob him, cos she sed he wassa beyoutifull bunny.

An' den, Smokey got berry sik, an ebben doh he wint toda V-E-T's an' all, he weft us forda Rainbow Bridge.

But Hunny kept on goin' to Church at St. Luke's.

An' den, Maman 'dopted Hawthorn. Den Belinda 'dopted Hawthorn for her husbun.

Bud Hunny was geddin' older an' older an' he didn' wike bein' in his baskit, an' bein' in Church at St. Luke's too much. He wiked sittin' in ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay's arms an' crawlin' up her sleebs, an' gettin' pets, but he gots bored durin' da tawky pawts, an' wanted down durin' da singin', an' he was just all ober da pwace (Belinda told me dis pawt obba Church Bunny Stowy).

At Maman an' Dadda's weddin, doh, he stood up to get pets frumma ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay, an' tried to crawl up her sleebs, an' he nipped Phil an' sat onna weddin' rings an' wuldn't gib dem to Phil to gib toda ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay, an' wike I sed, he nipped Phil a good'un whin he went diggin unnerneaf ob Hunny's butt to ged da rings, so dat was pretty much da end ob Hunny bein' Church Bunny cos wike Maman told him, "You can't be nippin' at peebles, Hunny."

An' Hunny sed, "Bugger dat. Dat wassn' 'peebles', it was Phil an' dat was my butt!"

But Belinda sed ebberybunny culd preddy much see dat Maman had Made Up Her Mind an' ebberybunny knows dere is no changin' dat.

So Hawthorn stawted goin' to Church at St. Luke's.

Now da fing aboud Hawthorn (an' dis is whut Hunny sed) was dat he was berry small, berry white, berry portable an' he didn' mind nothin'(not ebben Belinda, which was pretty much wike bein' able to ignore a 'ruptin' volcan whin you is sittin' onit, Hunny sed.). Whut none obba hoomins reelized was dat Hawthorn, bein' a blue-eyed white bunny, was dat he was deef. He culdn't hear. His ears didn' werk, which is why he culd ged away wif not mindin' Belinda. He axtchually didn't heer her tawkin' most obba time she wassa'wake.

Hunny sed Hawthorn deserbed da Order Obba Crossed Carrots Wif Parsley Wreath for puddin' up wif dat gurl-bun, but Belinda sed Hawthorn wassa bestest husbun inna Whole Werld. I fink em tells you sumfing aboud Hawthorn.

So, ennyways, Maman an' Dadda began takin' Hawthorn to St. Luke's. An' he wassa Hextellant Church Bunny, Maman says. He slept fru da tawkin' anna singin' an' wassa wake forda blessin's, an' he wassa'wake forda Coffee Hour afta, so he gotta wotta cookie bits an' cake crumbs. He told Hunny it wassa Hextallent Job fora bun.

An' den, just afta ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay retired to lib in Maine, an Father Dirk came to St. Luke's, well, dat was Hawthorn's Wast Easter. He weft forda Rainbow Bridge afta habbin' his pikchur taken wif Father Dirk wearin' his Brand Noo Vestmints, an' dat wassa wast pickchur taken ob gentle widdle Hawthorn.

Maman sed she tried to take Belinda to St. Luke's, but Belinda thought it was to Worship Da Bunny an' was preddy much obba disaster. Dadda sed takin' Belinda ennywheres needed six arms an' two heds (which he don't hab). An' dat alla whut dey sed aboudd'it, but Hunny filled inna gaps. He sed dat Maman came home frum Church an' told Phil dat Belinda not onwy wanted to get down durin' da tawkin', but she got bord inna middul obba singin' an' tried to sit on Dadda's hed, an' she almost eated sumbunny's hat, an' twied to sit in the Alms Basin whin it was bein passed downna row, an' den she tried to habba run fru da Choir, AND she nipped apawt da shoe-laces obba supply priest who was stoopit enough to ignore her, an' pwob'ly wuld hab peed on him, cos she was dat mad cos he was still ignorin' her, 'cept Maman gotted her back innu her carrier just in time - so dat was preddy much alla stuff dat Maman didn't want her tido.

An' ob course, as you know, bof Hunny an' Belinda hab gone along toda Rainbow Bridge. Dey were berry old, wunnerful bunnies an' I miss dem.

So yestidday it was my turn to go to St. Luke's to beda Church Bunny.

An' dere were a wotta dawgs dere! Big wuns, widdle wuns, reel furry an' not-so-furry. Two obb'em had on bandanas so I know dat dey had bin toda gwoomers, poor guys. An' dere wassa gwumpy owd Pug, sorta wike anudder Pug I know, onwy she issn't ebben pawtwy dat gwumpy, ebben onna bad day. An' dere were stoopit puppies, too, all pullin' dis way an' dat way on dere leeds.

An' dere were catz. Dere wassa berry speshul show cat behind me who had No Tail. She sed she was skert, cos dere was dawgs aroun' an' she wassa 'fraid ob dawgs, but I told her it was Hokay, dat I wuld show her howta handul dawgs, an' I almost peed onna rilly old widdle Chewowwa dat comed ober an wooked in my carrier, 'cept she didn't ged cwose enuf, butta Cat gotta idea, but den she got all snooty aboud it an' she sed she culdn't do dat. Cats are weird. You show dem howta handul dawgs an' den dey get all fussy aboud it.

An' ennyways, a wotta childrens petted me, anna nice wady who bemembered Hunny, Smokey, Hawthorn and Belinda (cos it was dat wady's hat Belinda twied to eat) sed she was thrilled to see me! Isn't dat nice? An' Father Dirk sprinkled wadder on me, an' gabe me a blessin' to carry bak toda Warren (which I did) an' Maman an' Dadda sed dat dey were berry pwoud ob me.

So dat's preddy much it. I gotted extry raisins for bein' good, an' Maman sed I kin beda Church Bunny again. So mebbe I kin do as good as Hunny, Smokey an' Hawthorn. Big feets to follow in, but I'm geddin' more 'Tellygint alla time, so dere is wotsa hope!

---By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:37 AM EDT
Sunday, 2 October 2005
The Blessing of the Animals (2 Oct. 05)
Now Playing: We Are Blessed
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, tiday mawks the biginin' obba Noo Chapta Inna Life Ob Our Warren.

Afta a wong time off, I am bak. Me, George, da widdle Noo Zeeland mixt wif Callyfornian bunny who libs heer at Our Warren wif MissyBun Hawpa, MsClover an' Beebe-Bunny!! an' Mister Mouse (anna Collie Dawg, Marc, anna Stoopit Catz, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat an' Beep-da-Goofy-Cat).

Dis is da Blog ob Ms. Belinda Bunny, nebber-to-be-fortygotted. She stawted it a wong time ago, bifore I was 'dopted, bifore I was ebben borned! An' den, just afta I was weft atta V-E-Ts assa weft-ober Easter-bunny dat nobunny wanted, an' 'dopted by Maman an' Dadda, den, Belinda, who was berry sik, she wefted me anna rest obba Warren forda Rainbow Bridge - which issa pwace where bunnies go to wait for dere friends an' rewayshuns to come to meet dem to begin dere Great Jurney to God's Great Warren.

An' Belinda wefted her Blog to me, George.

At furst, when I gotted it, I didn't know whuttaheck to do wiffit.

I meen, wookit, I'm a bunny-rabbit. Anna berry young bunny-rabbit, so I habba wot to lern bifore I become 'Tellygint. An' BOF Belinda an' Hunny (who wassa berry old an' honourable rabbit) told me dat I hadda not gwow meerly "old", but dat I hadda gwow 'Tellygint!

But gwowing 'Tellygint is hard! An' it takes a wong time. So whin I gotted dis Blog, I didn't quite know whut to do wiffit. I sorta made entries an' had idees an' writed down stuff dat I fought was impawtant, an' I tried to 'splain bunnies toda hoomins I meeted heer an' stuff, but it wassn' easy, you know?

An' sumtimes I didn' feel wike typin', an' sumtimes udder stuff gotted inna way ob typin', an' den sumtimes I didn't habba organnyzayshun rite, or I didn't hab ennyfing in my hed to type aboud. An' sumtimes it was just too much werk for wun widdle bunny to do all by his widdle self.

But tiday, well, tiday is Sunday, an' it issa Pawtant Day, cos it issa day dat we bunnies sellybrate da Speshul Day obba Paytron Saint ob Alla Annymuls, Saint Francis ob Assisi. He wassa guy who culdn't ged hoomins to wisten to him in Rome, so he wint outside an alla birds came to hear whut he hadda say.

An whut he sed was dat alla God's Creeashun is impawtant, incloodin us, dat we is alla us togedder, pawt obba genius ob God. Maman sed datta werd genius is badly unnerstood now, cos it issn' used rite ennymore. She sed whut Mister Saint Francis ment was more wike dat ebberyfing in Heaven an' on Earth contains a pawt ob da Creatib Principle obba Architect Obba Universe. She sed dat as Anglican Bunnies (which we are) we call dis Architect Obba Universe, God, dat dis is Our name for Him. Which is hokay, cos it was also da same name dat Mister Saint Francis used.

But whut Mister Saint Francis ment was dat none ob us is unimpawtant, none ob us is useless - dat whin you look atta two-foots or a four-foots nextest to you, you are seein' pawt obba genius ob God. Cos whutebber it is, iffit is in Heaven or on Earth, den it was Creeated. An' ebben if you fink dat fings "ebolbed", it don't madder, cos God culd hab made dat happin, too, you see. It don't madder, eidder way. No madder how far back you wanna go, dere wassa Beginnin an' rite dere, atta Beginnin dere was dat Architect, creeatin' fings alla'round.

So cos it is da Speshul Day for Mister Saint Francis, I'm stawtin' up Belinda's Blog agin, an' I'm gonna twy to keep attit. Mebbe ebberyfing I type won' be impawtant, or fulla 'pinions, wike her stuff was, but I'm gonna do my bestest.

Cos Maman sed I godda widdle bit ob Heaven in me, too. Issn't dat nice to fink aboud? Dat dere issa widdle bit ob Heaven in ebberybunny? In you. An' me. An' ebben inna catz. An' alla'round, an' in Our Warren, too!

By George

Posted by Our Warren at 2:50 PM EDT
Sunday, 26 June 2005
Gardin vs. Maman
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Whutta Dawg Sed
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Well, heer we go agin: da continuin' story ob Maman, Dadda anna Our Warren Memorial Gardin.

As you know, we godda Our Warren Memorial Window dat wooks out ober what Maman an' Dadda are hopin' will one day be da Our Warren Memorial Gardin.

Maman made a start on dis by creatin' da Our Warren HerbGardin. Which is berry nice, if somewhat onna small side. But dis is Hokay, because as Belinda Bunny pointed out oncet, "Big twees gwow frum widdle nuts, an' if dat's troo, den we godda whole forest rite heer in dis houz, just waitin' to gwow."


Maman an' Dadda went toda "Home-De-Pot" store yestidday, where I guess dey sell pots to take home (considerin' da name) an' udder fings (considerin' whut came home wiff Maman an' Dadda inna Buick).

Now bemember, it has bin hot outside, wif no rain for awhile.


Here commed Dadda wiffa widdle gardin fork anna equal-sized small shubble. Why he didn gedda full-sized stuff, I'll nebber know. Mebbe dey will grow bigger ober time. Whutebber.

Den Maman staggars fru da Bun Room wiffa prong fing wif a handle on top for turnin' uppa ground (she says). An' den Dadda comes fru wiffa'nudder bag wiffa hose innit an' sum rose snippers he calls, secateurs which is French for "rose snippers".

Anna Cokie-da-Fat-Cat wanders up,wooks at alla stuff, den wooks at me an' says, "Dis don' wook good. I'm goin' uppastairs, outta da way bifor ennyfing bad happins." An' he an' Beep beats feets forda Office which is onna sekond floor an' dat's da end ob dem.

Hoomins are wrong aboud ratz. It's Catz dat will allus be da furst ones offa sinkin' ship.

Soda Dawg comes up an' sniffs all stuff onna floor, wooks at me an' says, "Oh goody! We be's going outside!"

So I says to him, "You go an' watch 'em an' tell me whut happins."

Anna Dawg says, "Fine wif me."

Cos he's stoopit wike dat.

An heer comes Maman an' she's wearing glubs on hur hands wif fwowers on'em, anna long skirt (ob course) an she hassa square fing tied around her middle. An' she puts dat sekkytoors fings inna widdle pockit an' says toda Dawg,

"Hokay, Hose-nose. Wet's go."

Now I havta depend onna Dawg to tell whut happined nextest, cos he was out dere inna yard an' I wassn't.

So heer is Whutta Dawg Sed:

"Anna Maman an' me is walkin', me onna left-side-by-da-knee which is right, anna Maman comes toda roses an' she says,

"Ohmygoodness, wook-at-dat! Black-spots!"

"So I wook, but whuttaheck? Dere's a squirell inna tree wot's throwd a twig at me, so I run toda tree an bark cos dat's a threat! So Maman hollars,

'Shaddap, Dawg!'

"So I haveta shut up an go sit by da left-side-ob-her-kneee, which is rite. You'd fink she knowed a threat when she seed one, cos squirells issa menace to p'lite compiny, but she dont see dat - she finks dey are 'kyoot. So she's not payin' 'tension to where her feets are cos she's wookin' up forda squirell dat's alreddy gone, an' so she falls ober me.

"Toes inna side! Dat hurts But I don't whimper, doh, cos I amma manly dawg.

"So I know my trainin'. Number A: Sniff da Maman, Number B: Stand steady, Number C: Let her use me to ged herself back on her feets agin; Number D: Sit beside-da-left-knee-an'-wook-up-reassuringly. I am notta Serbice Dog for nuffin'.


"So she goes back to clippin' bits ob rosebush an' frowin' 'em onna ground. I do not hand dem bak to her, cos she alreaddy sed, 'No' an' I ain't stoopit.

"So when she's finished wiffa roses, she moobs on to whut she calls 'Hedge' dat is uppagainstdafence.

"Well, dat 'Hedge' don't smell rite, so I walks ober, lifts my leg, an marks it. She don't like me markin' stuff while she's watchin', I don't fink, but it's too bad. My gardin, an' I gotta mark whut's mine. An' cos I bin out inna gardin wif her for awhile now, I'm squeezin drops, Rabbit, lemme tell ya.

"So she's cuttin' branches now an' throwin' 'em inna pile behind herself. Pile don't got markings on it, so I mark da pile, too. You nebber know. Gotta keep up wif dis markin' stuff or you can loose your terrytorry. Ebbery dawg knows dis, ebben if hoomins don't seem to ged it.

"So by now we're onna bottom pawt obba gardin an' Maman's till cuttin' an makin' piles. An' now she comes to anudder string ob stuff. She makes 'tch, tch' sounds. Says to me, "Wookout forda thorns, Hose-nose."

"Wall, dat's whut I gots hair down'dere for. Keep it cleen, keep it fuzzy, keep fleas outta it an' it werks as it shuld to p'tectk your markin' 'quipmint frum thorns, nettles an all sorts. I ain't stoopit.

"So she's cuttin' an' bendin', an' bendin' an' pullin' wiffa cutters, an' geddin' red inna face an' Dadda comes up an axts,

"Why you cuttin outta blackberries?"

"An Maman's wike, 'Whut?'

"An Dadda is wike, 'Da blackberries. Or raspberries. Too early to tell which, but it's wunnada two. Why's you cuttin' 'em out?'

"An' he's not markin' ennyfing. He's berry lazy aboud markin', I notice. He only marks in one room. Dat is notta way to keep his Pack's terrytory from tresspasses fruma'nudder pack. Ya gotta mark ebberywhere's. Dat's why pawt ob my name is "Marc", cos I dose alla it around heer. It's "Zackary-Marc" an' I don't ebben wait forda rest ob it, I just go ahead an start markin', cos I know Dadda hasn't dunit, ebben if he is Da Alpha Male.

"So I'm markin' da pile ob thorns.

"An' Maman says, 'You meen we wanna keep dees thorny fings? Dey aren't a weed?'

"An' Dadda wooks at'em an' shakes his hed an' says, 'No, dey are berries ob sum kind.'

"So Maman wooks atta stuff I'm markin, squeezin' drops cos I bin out heer so long, den turns around, points to a row ob sum udder plants an axts Dadda, 'Whut's dis stuff?'

"An' Dadda plucks summa da leebs onna plant she pointin' at, an' sniffs 'em an' says, 'Lemmon sage'.

"An' dey go on downna row.

"An'dey come toda lilac bush/tree dat has udder fings gwoin unner'neaf ob it.

"So I'm sniffin' an' still markin' cos now we're outsideobbagate onna side obba houz, an' dat area h'ain't been prop'ly marked inna wong time, onna'count ob me not bein' 'lowed outsideobbagate an' Dadda not doin' his job wiffa markin. So it's sniff, walk, lift-leg, squeeze (cos I bin out a wong time); walk, sniff, walk, lift-leg, squeeze. Good fing it only takes a drop or I'd be in trubble. I notice dat we gots 'possums, too, an' wooks wike a bunny wast week dat was passin' fru fromma yard nestest stoor. She don't come heer regular cossa me, but she comes sumtimes. I don't mind, but I kin smell she's afraid, so I put a widdle reassurance innu dat mark.

"Ennyways, Maman an' Dadda hab stopped an' are starin' byda lilac bush. So I goes back, cos no one is payin' 'tension to me. Gotta see whut's happinin' cos it's da Pack way to do ebberyfing togedder.

"An' Maman is sayin' to Dadda, 'Dis happined bifor. We cut it down an' bury it inna bottom obba buckit. An' now it's bak.'

"An' Dadda is wike, 'Well, you gots to diggit out. But whut I don't unnerstan is: 'Howdaheck did it ged heer inna furst pwace? Sumone pwant it?'

"An' Maman's wike, 'It's natib toda mid-'lantic states. Grows assa weed most enny pwace. An' it's in dis pwace an' it can't stay. Mygosh we'll be 'rested!'

"An' Dadda geds da clippins buckit anna gardin fork an' ebben doh it's a hunnert degrees an' he's drippin' wadder off his hed, he starts diggin' atta plants atta bottom obba lilac tree.

"An' Maman wanders off cos she hassa 'tension span obba well-developed gnat.

"An' cos nuffink seemsta be happinin, I go back to markin. An' dere is dis fing I find inna ground byda lilac tree, stikin' up. Made ob metal. Smells wike Dadda an' hassa brand noo hose atta end obbit. Well, dis hassn't bin marked! So I pick up my leg for like da hundreth time...

"An' alla sudden, da hose jumps, anna metal fing gibs a widdle choke an' HolycowSaintMichaelanallaarchangels, dere's wadder comin' outta dat fing!

"An' it's *REALLY* comin' out!

"We're talkin' sprayin' all ober wiffa *chug* *spritz* *chug* *spritz* sound as it begins tossin handfuls ob wadder around inna circle aroundonna lawn.

"Well, Border Collies are known for dere fast reactions. An' I got good reactions ebben for a Border Collie. So I'm off like a shot.

"Middle-aged Englishmen are not known for dere fast reactions. Our Dadda issa Troo Englishman.

"An' Maman ambles aroun da corner obba houz an' she's wookin' as I shoot past. So she sings out, 'Marc! Come!"

"So I circles back.

"An' she says, 'Sit! Stay!

"So I sits down by her left-knee an' wooks. An' dere issa sprinkler, shootin wadder inna orderly circle onna lawn, an alla piles ob stuff, neatly marked by m, but habbin dere markins washed off byda wadder, an' dere's Dadda wiffa gardin' fork, stuffin sum green plants innu da bottom obba clippins bin.

"An Maman is wike, 'Issn dis nice, Zachary-Marcus? We're gardinin'."

-------------- As told to George Bunny ob Our Warren

Posted by Our Warren at 3:31 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 26 June 2005 4:07 PM EDT

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