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Tuesday, 18 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day NumbER 18
Now Playing: Self-Improobmint
Topic: The Next Generation

Well, afta messin' up wif my spellin' an' (I meen, AND) doin' a few udder, totally stoopit fings (dat are preddy embarrassin'), I hab decided that I need to improob my grasp onna ENGLISH LANGUAGE. It's not that I don't know how to type bedda, it's just dat, afta awhile, I tend to gedda'widdle lazy, you know, an', (I mean,AND) let myself slip more AND more innu sloppy slang tawk.

Now Clover says dat dis is normal wif most youngbuns, but den I am getting on towards TWO YEARS OLD, and I can reasonably be hextpected to know howta spell preddy good, and howta use bigger and bedder werds. If I'm gonna grow 'Tellygint, I hab gotta start to show it.

And that begins wif the propa use ob Language.

"How a bunny speaks is how he is known." Hunny sed.

So it is impawtant for me, who is typing dis Blog for Hoomins to read, to put my best paw forward. Because the last fing I want hoomins to fink issat bunnies are stoopit.

Bunnies are not stoopit!

Most ob us can speak at least two languages, and sum ob us can speak and type in more'n dat.

Now, I gotta tell you, dis is not easy.

I speak Lagomorphin as do most udder bunnies, so you gotta bemember that ENGLISH issa sekond language for almost ebberybunny. Whin we type in ENGLISH we tend to type werds the way dat they sound to us whin we hear dem.

Sumtimes we can use a hoomin Spell-Checker to help us spell werds da same way dat ENGLISH-Speaking hoomins do, but sumtimes not. Da hoomin Spell-Checker feetchur doesn't werk berry well whin it hasta werk with Lagomorphin assa base language. (Are you reading dis, Bill Gates?
Belinda Bunny wassa'ware ob dis diffyculty and tried to correct it by creeating a Lagomorphin-based Spell-checker, but she ran outta innerest before she ran outta werds, so dat projeck didn't get too far.

But we bunnies hab bin trying berry hard to 'stablish some regur'lized form ob typing in ENGLISH and I hab to return to using it. No more being lazy and using bunny-slang.

So whut I hab learned so far is dat dere not just one kind ob ENGLISH Language, but several.

Inna beginnin, I thought dere was only wun kinda ENGLISH. Dat was before I was dumped atta V-E-Ts office all OnAlone inna box dat was empty ob ebberyfing except me.

Then, Maman came and picked me up and brought me home to Our Warren where I met Dadda and Maman in their nat'chural habbytats.

And to my sus'prise, Maman and Dadda speaked TWO DIF'FRUNT kinds ob ENGLISH frum the furst one I had learned!

Now, dis was confoozling. So I axted da Top Bun, who was Belinda Bunny, abouddit. She didn't feel berry well that day, so she sed for me to axt Hunny, who wassa Senior Bun inna Our Warren.

Now Hunny wassa berry OLD rabbit. He was wike, 12 yeers old, and fortygetful, and sort ob "not all there", if you know whut I mean. But nice. You culdn't want for a nicer bunny. And you culdn't want for a wiser bunny, eidder.

And Hunny told me datta mawmie inna Our Warren was called "Maman", and that it wassa French werd for "Mother" and he gave our mawmie dat name because he was part French Lop, and dat was how he was taught to call his mawmie, when he wassa kit, menny, menny years ago before he was also dumped and ended up at Our Warren. Anna name has stuck, so our mawmie is named Maman.

And Our Dad is named "Dadda" because Phil-the-Lad named him that more or less by axceedint. You see, Our Dad is Phil-the-Lad's "Stepfadder" and Phil didn't want to call him "Dad" because he said that name had "bad connotations for me." So we wuld heer Phil-da-Lad tawlking to his friends and say, "My StepDad-uh, he, ", so we just dropped da "Step" pawt and kept da "Dad-uh" which became, ober time, Dadda.

Now Dadda comes frumma place dat sounds like it is called INKLAND but is spelled, ENGLAND. Sespifick'ly he comes frumma place dat sounds like it is called Summerset which sounds wike a wunnerful werd for a place to be frum. It beminds me ob birdies singing in trees, anna bloo sky so close dat I culd stand up on my back feets and touch it wiffa paw. Sounds like long, green grass waving inna wind, too, and hills wif lotsa burrows and bright widdle streams winking fru da grass.


And Dadda says a lotta werds dif'frunt frum Maman, and he has werds dat only he uses, dat rilly don't hab meenings to hoomins who don't lib in dis house. He calls whut he speaks "The Queen's ENGLISH", or "Da Countree Di'lect" and dey are two dif'frunt kinds ob ENGLISH language. But bof ob them are dif'frunt frum what Maman sumtimes speaks.

Now Maman issa 'Murrican, but she libbed for awhile inna same ENGLAND as Dadda, but inna dif'frunt place called "Lancashire. This also sounds like a preddy place to be frum. She has told us aboudda stone walls, and sheeps onna hills, and waking up inna cold mornings to hear lambs calling inna fields. She says the wind blows hard through the long grasses on fings called da moors only she says "moors" like "moo-rahs" while Dadda says "mores".

This shuld gib you an idea ob how there are TWO or even THREE KINDS ob ENGLISH going on in our house, inna'dishun toda reg'lar kind of ENGLISH datta normal, A'murrican houserabbit wuld hear.

And den, just whin I thought I hadda handle on alla these kinds ob ENGLISH LANGUAGES, along comes Auntie Paige and Joshua to visit wif us. They live in Australia, which also sounds like anudder beautiful place to be frum, wif Winter onna oppysit side ob our Summer, and annymuls dat you can only dream aboud, like kangaroos and dey habba ocean onna doorstep, and udder fantastik stuff.

And, well, wuldn't'chu know it? Auntie Paige and Joshua speak ENGLISH, too, but it's a whole udder kind ob ENGLISH! And they had werds I had nebber herd before, too, and sum ob them sounded funny to me, and made me laff. She called Beebe a "nutbag", and kept telling him, "Don't try it out!" whin he wuld try to lunge at her. And you know whut? Beebe unnerstood her and didn't try to bite her!

So that's FOUR or FIVE kinds ob ENGLISH I hab lerned. And that doesn't add in whut Phil-the-Lad lerned inna Navy which I am mainly notta'lowed to type because Maman says most ob it is "rude" and not p'lite for youngbuns to lern. (But I wint ahead and lerned it anyhows!)

So that's FIVE or ebben SIX kinds of ENGLISH I'm trying to werk wif heer at Our Warren.

And Language does change, ob course. It never stays the same, but changes as it gets used a lot. I fink da korreckt term is, "Evolves". Mind you, I can't speek dat werd rite onna'kount ob how my toofs are arranged, but I can type it.

But there will be no more "lazy tawking" frum George. I'm gonna do my best to show dat I am becoming a matchur, 'Tellygint housebunny. Ob course, I will still spell werds as I heer them. I'm shure there will be the okayshunal slip-ups whin I slip innu slang, but onna whole, I am gonna try berry hard to write inna unnyform manner so it is easier for hoomins to unnerstan' me.

Becuase that issa whole point of communnykayshun - so that we can unnerstand each udder, and learn to see out thru each udders eyes.

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:36 AM EDT
Monday, 17 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 17
Now Playing: Da Rainbow Bridge
Topic: Da Lore

Tiday issa sad day at Our Warren. Our friend, Angel-Pug, is lebbin' heer to go an' join Belinda, an' Hunny an' Hawthorn anna Ancient Dawg, an' Phil's Bim, an' alla udder Kitties, an' Dawggies, an' Bunnies an' dere Hoomins, atta Rainbow Bridge.

Angel-Pug issa Dawg, anna berry good Dawg. She libbs wif Phil-anna-'Lanna in Marywand. She issa berry owd Dawg, too, an' she is sik an' can't ged bedder. Dere issa wotta pain in her back, an' ebben wiffa bestest V-E-Ts inna werld, her back can't be made to ged enny bedder. She is owd an' tired an' wantsta leeb now forda Meadow onna udder side obba Bridge.

Ob course, Phil-anna-'Lanna wuld likit if Angel culd stay heer an' lib forebber, but dat's not how itis wif annymuls. We don' lib as wong as hoomins assa Gen'ral Rool.

Which is why dere issa Rainbow Bridge.

Dis issa Bridge dat we cross whin we leeb heer. It goes toda Meadows where we kin wait for our Hoomins to come to ged us, so we can make Da Wast Great Journey to God's Great Warren, Alla Us Togedder.

An' as we cross Da Rainbow Bridge, whutebber wassamatta wif us in dis werld is made bedda. If we are sik, we are made well. If we are owd, we are made young. If we hab bin hurted, we are healed ob our hurts. It don't madder whut is wrong wif us, but once we cross da Bridge, we are all rite agin.

An' dere issa Rezon for dis, an' it is cossa dis Rezon dat we annymuls are notta'fraid obba Bridge at all.

An' I know alla'bouddit cos ob Hunny.

Gib me a sekond, an' I'll 'splain it to you, too. Cos, pawt ob bein' a bunny is to hab Hope.


You see, a wong time ago, a wotta hoomins gotted togedder an' dey sed, "Hoomins are da highest form ob Creeashun. Dey are da Top."

An' den sum udder Hoomins sed, "Hoomins are da most 'pawtant fing inna Creeashun cos dey hab 'souls' an' annymuls gots no 'souls'."

An' den udder Hoomins added, "So Hoomins can lib forebber inna pwace called 'Hebbin' an' annymuls can't."

An' dat was preddy much Whut Hoomins Fought Fora Berry Wong Time. Sum Hoomins STILL fink dat.

An' dey are wrong.

Da Troof, axtchually, is whut Hunny sed...

He sed datta wong time ago, dere wassa pwace where annymuls an' hoomins shared a Gardin, an' inna Gardin dere were Two Trees. An' nobun was s'sposed to eet ennyfing frum wunna da Trees.

Den Wun Day da Man Hoomin anna Female Hoomin were tawkin' toda Snake. Anna Snake sed,

"Wookit, da onwiest rezon you can't eet frum dat Wun Tree is cos you was told not to. An' you know why you was told not to? Cos if you do, you're gonna be more 'Tellygint denna Creeator dat made you. It's dat simpul. So you wanna be as gweat assa Creeator? Den hab summa dat froot frum dat Wun Tree."

Anna hoomins had summa dat froot frum dat Wun Tree, cos dey beleebed da Snake an' dey wanted to be gweat (whutebber dat was, cos enneb dey didn't know whut dat was).

Well, da hoomins didn't stop to fink it fru - cos you'll notise datta Snake didn't hab enny obba froot. Nope. He was too skeert ob doin' whut he was told not to do. But he wassa bully an' he just urged da hoomins on to do whut was wrong so dey wuld ged in trubble an' he culd laff abouddit aftawards. Bullys is wike dat.

But da hoomins had done it, dey eated da froot dey was told notta eet an' dat made da Creeator mad, cos wike he sed,

"Whutsamatta wif you? You gotta whole Gardin heer an' you can't ebben wisten to one widdle fing, can you?"

So he frowed dem outta da Gardin an' told dem dat frum den on, dey wuld hab to werk to ged dere food, an' dat dey wuld NOT hab an easy time obbit, cos dey wuld be all OnAlone.

An' he sed, "I'm sowwy I ebben Creeated you, cos you issa wotta trubble. So you are cut off frumma Gardin forebber!"

Butta hoomins cried an' were sad, an' soda Creeator felt bad, cos he lubbed dem cos he had creeated dem, an' dere was pawt ob him inside ob each ob whut he had creeated, no madder how small or how large. So da Creeator had sum Speshul Beings go to help da hoomins lib onna Earf.

Onwy, bein' hoomins, dey hadda preddy short mem'ry an' didn' 'prishyate da Speshul Beings who were sint to help dem - which issa whole Udder Stowy, endin' inna Rilly Big Stowy dat is still goin' on, dat you kin reed aboud inna Buk called The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by sum guy named C.S. Lewis.

But, hang onna'sekond an' you'll notice sumfing heer...

Onwy da hoomins eeted Froot frumma Wun Tree an' got frown outta da Gardin nebber to return.

Nobun ebber axts aboud howda rest ob us gotted heer.

Well, dis is whut Hunny told me... which is howda rest ob us annymuls gotted heer an' it isn' told in enny buks or ennyfing! Dis is Da Lore dat I must nebber fortyged an' allus bemember to pass on.

Da Creeator knew datta hoomins culdn't surbibe inna werld all OnAlone. He had creeated da Gardin as One Great Warren, where it was Alla Us Togedder, an' now, da hoomins were outside da Great Warren. Soda Creeator axted if enny obba annymuls wuld go an help da hoomins who were OnAlone.

Anna annymuls, incloodin' da bunnies - who, up till dat time knew only lub frumma Creeator - sed, "Shure."

Anna Creeator sed, "Cos you hab done ebberyfing axt ob you an' more, you will nebber be cut off frum me wike da hoomins. You can come back heer whin you are tired an' wait for enny speshul hoomins you come to lub. Bud da hoomins, I fear, are forebber changed an' not wike dey were whin dey libbed heer inna Gardin, becos dey hab eeted dat froot I told dem not to eet. But if you lub dem, den dere will be Hope for dem, dat dey mite see in your eyes."

So we annymuls were nebber in need obba soul to be sabbed cos we nebber did whut we was told not to do inna furst pwace.

Hunny called it Bein' Free Obba Sin Ob Adam, an' said since we didn't do whut dis Adam-guy did, we bunnies an' kitties an' dawgs an' udder annymuls aren't punished as dat Adam-guy was. Maman calls it nebber habbin been out ob Communion wif God an' she writes aboud dat wif udder hoomins.

So annymuls, axtchually, Hunny sed, habba bedder rewayshunship goin' wiffa Creeator den most hoomins. An' da onwy rezon dat hoomins fink dey are atta Top ob fings is cos dey are da onwy wuns dey fink can communnykate wif each udder 'bout 'pawtant stuff wike souls or creeashun or immortality. Whut dey hab fortygotten issat dey are not da onwyiest fing inna Unnyberse. Dey mite beda Stewards, but dey still hab to Ansur toa Higher Authority. Cos no madder how far you go bak, dere is allus sumfing dere Furst.

An' Hunny told me alla dis cos he seed it in Owd Rabbit Dreems, whin he was berry owd, afta Belinda weft forda Bridge. He sed dat he culd see fings dat he'd nebber seed bifore, dat he fought were 'pawtant dat I shuld know aboud so I culd tell udders.

Hunny sed, "George, dis is 'Da Lore', an' you must nebber fortyged, an' always bemember to pass it on. Dis is Who We Are an' Why We Are an' why we must allus, no madder whut happins, remain Alla Us Togedder, NoBunny OnAlone. Cos we will all cross Da Rainbow Bridge, George, an' we will all be togedder again! An' knowin' dis will gib bunnies Hope whin da hoomins hab none. Dat is our gift to gib to whom we choose; we will allus hab Hope whin all Hope is gone, becos we know whut lies ahead whin udders can't see."

And so, dis is whut I am doin' tiday: bemindin' ebberybun:

Alla Us Togedder, Nobunny OnAlone!

Wook innu a bunny's eyes an' if you are bwessed you will see it - Hope.

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:42 PM EDT
Sunday, 16 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 16
Now Playing: George Gets Sewious
Topic: The Next Generation
Hullo dere.

You know, whin Belinda cweated The Hay Diaries she usta use it to compwain aboud fings, an' to commint on stuff, an' to state her 'pinions aboud whut was happinin' arounda werld an' ebberywhere's. An' she usta commint onna Noos dat she readed inna noospapers or heared Maman tawkin' aboud wif Dadda or udder hoomins.

Belinda wassa English Spot rabbit an' she hadda wotta 'pinions aboud ebberyfing. She was also a berry 'Tellygint rabbit, which is whut I'm twying to become.

So tiday, I'm gonna type onna berry sewious topik.


Just wike Belinda, I'm gonna habba 'pinion an' I'm puttin' it inna blog, rite heer, for ebberybun to read.

It's aboud dis guy in Australia. Inna noospaper called The Sydney Morning Herald dere wassa artykul onna 13th ob October aboud him. He issa rabbit-killer, onwy dat noospaper calls him a financier (which issa fancy werd dat just means dat he werks wif munny). An' dey showed a pikchur ob him in sunglasses anna suit an' tie dat makes him wook berry 'spectable, wike enny udder owner obba big-time compiny dat werks wif udder hoomins' munny.

Anna artykul goes on, tellin' aboud dis guy, aboud how he killed an' murdered rabbits inna thoroughly disgustin' manner for his own happiness, an' den, da writer obba artykul stawts to twy an' make excuses for why da guy did alla dis murderin'.

Da writer obba artykul says dat it was cossa guy was takin' drugs dat he killed alla poor bunnies in such disgustin' ways. He was takin' sumfing called "ice", which is not gibbin to you by a doktor or ennyfing, dat he killed bunnies for his own pleasure.

Now dis "ice" issn't sumfing dat you buy atta pharmacy or ged frumma reg'lar doktor, wike I sed. It issa bad drug dat you habba get frum sum crimmynal who stands outside onna stweet corner. You hab to wanna buy dis stuff, an' den go outside an' wook for da crimmynal an' pay a wotta munny toda crimmynal to ebben get dis drug called "ice". An' den you gotta wanna take da drug.

Now you'll notice dat nobunny forced dis guy to take dis drug. He did it cos he wanted to ob his own free will an' choice. It wasn' wike sumbunny held him down an' gibbed it to him inna syringe, or stuck a needle in his butt. Nope, he did it cos he wanted to.

An' den he wint out, buyed poor, helpless bunnies frumma pet stores an' murdered dem in disgustin' ways.

Butta noospaper called The Sydney Morning Herald wants hoomins who reed it to fink dat dis guy culdn't help himself, dat he is sum kinda "victim" or sumfing, or dat whut he did doesn't matter cos, afta all, he onwy killed rabbits.

Anna noospaper makes da wun hoomin who came out an' sed sumfing inna defense ob rabbits, Lara Nettle, who issa Pwesident obba Australian Companion Rabbit Society seem wike sumkind ob stoopit or useless perzon.

And dis is NOT troo! Dis perzon issa hoomin who is dedykated to helpin' udder hoomins unnerstan' da happiness ob habbin' bunnies lib wif dem as companions. I know becos I amma Companion Rabbit!

Da noospaper writer quoted Lara Nettle all wrong (an' I know dis for certain, too!) an' da writer edited her remarks so dat she sounded wike sum kinda perzon dat sitted aroun' alla day wong, dwinkin' tea an' huggin' twees, an' just gen'rally bein' outta her mind.

An' dis is not da troof, eidder!

Now noospapers, Maman sed, is supposed to tell da troof, to state da facks, an' to write down stuff hextaktly assit happins so dat udder hoomins can know whut is goin' on an' can make up dere own minds aboud stuff.

Well, if tellin' da troof is whut noospapers is supposed to be doin', den dis writer for dis noospaper is fallin' down onna job!

Cos nobunny who murders to make himself happy issa kinda guy you wanna had runnin' aroun' loose in society.

Nobunny who kills for pleasure gets to be called a "financier" - he's a sadistic murderer wifout a conscious or a sense ob empathy for sufferin'.

In short, whut you hab heer is your basik monster dwessed up inna suit, collar an' tie an' wearin' sungwasses to hide his eyes.

An' you know whut is said aboud eyes? Dat dey are winders toda soul.

An' dat's why dis guy is wearin' sungwasses, you know: cos if you culd see da holes where his eyes shuld be, den ebberybun culd see dat, wike dat noospaper writer, he gots no soul.


Dere was a choice to be made an' dey each - da guy who murdered rabbits who taked da drugs, ANNA noospaper writer who typed aboud him inna noospaper - dey each hadda choice to make.

An' dey made it.

Cos dey fink nobun sees, an' nobun cares cos "it's onwy a bunny".

But dis bunny sees, an' dis bunny cares, an' unwike da bunnies dat were horribly, cruelly murdered, dis bunny hassa voice an' 'pinions dat are all his own to share!

--- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:48 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 17 October 2005 11:39 PM EDT
Saturday, 15 October 2005
George's 10th Stand, Day Numbur 15
Now Playing: Findin' Dr Sharin
Topic: The Next Generation

Yestidday wassa Bad Day, lemme tell you.

It axtchually stawted onna nite bifore dat, whin Maman called Dadda an' sed,

"Wook in Missy's Pootie-box."

So Dadda did, an' he sed, "Don't wook much dif'frunt frumma wast time I wooked innit."

An' Mamam folded her arms, frowned down onna pootie-box an' sed, "Hextactly. It oughtta be full."

An' den Maman wooks at me an' says, "Sorry George."

An' I'm like, "Huh?"

Cos one look in MY pootie-box had shown dem dat I wassa fully funkshunin' rabbit, wif MY inneards goin' wike gang-busters.

So I axted Missy, "Whutsamatta? Don't your tummy feel good?"

An' Missy consentwated for a widdle, an' den sorta sighed an' got mostly flat an' sed, "Mebbe I'll feel bedda if you come lick my eers, Sweedie-pie."

So I did.

But I got distracked by Mr Mouse ober dere gruntin' his hed off, cos Maman's moobin' his habbytat.

An' he's yellin' att'er, "HEY WADY!! Dis ain't the way to go see 'Law & Order', you stoopit hoomin! Goda UDDER WAY!!!"

But Maman wasn't moobin' him so he culd go watch "Law & Order", she was moobin him so she culd get frumma Bun Room out to be onna screen porch.

And she comed right back in frumma screen porch wiffa huge handful ob hay, which she popped innu his habbytat, rite on top ob him.

Well, dat just about fried Mr Mouse, cos he grunted uppa whole widdle storm ob pwotest, all on his own, an' stawted beatin' da hay innu sumbishion.

Den Maman gabe hay to Clover an' Beeb, an' den she came ober to Missy's an' my habbytat an' gibbed us a whole wotta hay - an' DEN she unscrewed da pellet dish frumma side obba habbytat an' taked it away!

So Missybun an' me was pellet-less.

Just wike dat.

An' me an Missy are wike, starin' at each udder, cos we can't beleeb it. How culd Maman take OUR PELLETS? We hadn't done ennyfing wrong, an' it wassn't wike wun ob us was obviously sik or ennyfing. Hokay, so Missy wasn't producin' huge piles ob pooties wike she normally does, but issat enuf to take awa our pellets? So we was, wike, speechwess, an' we just stood dere, wookin' at each-udder, wike, Whut's Gonna Happin Nextest Aroun' Heer?

An' you know, dat is wun qwestun you shuld NEBBER axt. Cos sumbun is bound to feel you needa knowda ansur.

Yeah. So den we found out.

Dadda hand-fed us raisins!

Da nerb.

Clover an' Beebe got dere raisins as normal in dere crock, an' so did Mr. Mouse. I did my Raisin Dance, wookin' all hopeful, as ushual, an' Dadda handed me one, lousey, stinkin' raisin for it.

Den he held up a raisin unner Missy's nose, an' she sniffed it, an' den sed, "You eet it, George, I don't wannit."

So I tried to gedda raisin outta Dadda's fingers, but he wuldn't wet me. He kept shubbin' it unner Missy's nose, not knowin', I guess, dat she sed I culd habbit, but he wassn't wettin' me ged it. So I kept tryin', he kept shubbin' an' Missy kept backin' away, till at wast Maman sed,

"Dat's it, Missy's gonna go see Doktor Sharin Skolnik tomorry. I'll call as soon as I fink her noo clinic is opin."

An' Dadda finally wet me hab dat raisin he'd been shubbin unner Missy's nose.

So I onwy had TWO stinkin' raisins wast nite.

An' NO pellets.

JUST hay an' wadder.

An' Missy STILL didn't leeb ennyfing more in her pootie-box.

So I seddled down wif Missy an' wicked her hed so she wuld feel bedder.

Bunnies hab berry sensitib tummies. Dey hab to werk perfeckly or da bunny kin leeb forda Rainbow Bridge.

Now Maman issa fan-attic aboudda tummies werkin' right, so she is berry careful aboud whut she feeds us. We ged Purina Green Bag Rabbit Chow, but not too menny pellets cos Maman says we is "pellet hogs" (gibbin' da chance), an' we gedda fresh salad, an' we ged unlimited, locally grown Timothy hay. For tweats, we ged raisins or sum udder froot.

So whin yestidday mawnin commed, Maman called Dr. Sharin's noo clinic an' den da fun stawted.

Dr. Sharin Skolnik is our Gen'ral Vet. If fings ged rilly ser'us, we habba go to see Dr. Michael Doolen onna wong car-ride away, an' ushually you godda stay ober-nite if you are sik dat you godda go see him, an' hab surgery, an' come home wiffa zipper innu wike Belinda did - all berry sewious stuff - but so far, whut Missy had wassa Dr Sharin Case, which meens meddysin, pokes inna butt an' habbin' your teef wooked at at wot.

Budda fing was, Dr. Sharin had moobed frum a clinic neer us toa noo clinic in sumpwace called "Old Bridge" dat Maman an' Dadda needed a map an' bof hands to find.

Now Maman an' Dadda aren't good at findin' pwaces whin dey go dribbin' inna car togedder. Dadda dribes, an' Maman nabbygates, which meens dat she tells him where to go, onna'count ob she hassa Mapqwest papers. It can take dem da best pawt ob forebber to ged sumwhere's an' dere ushually issa wotta "Buggerin' aboud" as Hunny wuld say, wif Maman Mapquestin' an' Dadda sayin' werds small bunnies shuldn't nebber heer0.

Bud cos Missy is pawt ob Our Warren an' Maman wants Alla Us Togedder to had da berry best ob care, she an' Dadda was gonna go find dis noo clinic ob Dr Sharin's no madder whut.

An' Missy sed to me, "Wookit, I'm comin' bak frum dis. It may take Maman an' Dadda awhile to figger dis oud, byda sounds ob dem tawkin' aboud it, but I'm comin' bak, Georgie-boy, insida dat trabbelin' case. Ebbin' if it takes till Dawk!"

An' I wicked her nose an' sed I unnerstood. Cos I hate it whin Maman's gotta'wotta MapQwests inna cwip-file.

So Maman god dwessed (allus a big pwojeck cos she's so slow) an' Dadda godda big carrier an' put in MissyBun.

Dey were gone a wong, wong time. So wong datta house got dawk anna Dawg came out innu da Bun Room an' told me not to werry, cos he was keepin' an eye out fordem frumma anteek rockin' chair inna Lounge where he issn'sposed to sit.

I pointed out dat Maman wuld find his fur onna anteek rockin' chair an' den she wuld be mad, butta Dawg sed Maman is stoopit enuf to beleeb dat he onwy puts his frunt feets onna chair to wook outta da winder, so it's hokay.

Fwankwy, I didn't know da Dawg was dat smawt.

So ennyways, dey finally comed home!

An' yup, dey had MissyBun wif dem, anna whole bag ob stuff frum Dr. Sharin.

An' Missy was SO berry, BERRY tired frum alla buggerin' aboud, anna pokin' anna proddin' an habbin' meddysin an' all. Bud she told me ebberyfing atta noo clinic was fine, 'cept it was too far away for her likin' (Missy don't wike to ride inna car) an' she god poked wif needles, an' held down fora Hextray, an' she god pumped fulla wadder cos Dr. Sharin sed she had sum sludge in her bladder, wike Belinda did, onwy nod as bad, so Dr. Sharin teached Maman howta pump Missy fulla wadder...

"An' you know whut kinda mess dat's gonna be." Missy continued. "Cos you an' I BOF know whut kind mess Maman kin mak outta V-E-T's 'struckshuns." Den she shook her hed sadly an' added, "My poor butt."

So I wicked Missy's ears an' told her not to werry, dat we wuld ged fru dis wike we allus did, Alla Us Togedder, but it wuld go a wot fasta if she wuld just leeb a preddy good mess inna pootie-box. Cos seein' a mess ob pooties inna pootie-box hassa wunnerful way ob cheerin' Maman up inna mawnin'.

So whin Maman an' Dadda wint to bed, we hadda a skeery momint, cos Maman readed da labels on alla bodduls dat Maman got frum Dr. Sharin. We was afraid dere was gonna be Meddysin Time wike dere had bin ebbery nite wif poor, ol' Hunny, but den I heerd Dadda say, "No, dear, we'll gib Missy her meddysin da furst fing tomorry mawnin'."

An' I fought, "Well, dat's good. Cos byden, Maman will hab fortygotted ebberyfing."

But no. Mawnin' came, an' Dadda beminded her.

So it seems dat while dere is nuffin 'speshully wrong wif MissyBun's tummy, it mite be geddin' reddy to stawt slowin' down, an' Maman isnn' aboud to wet dis happin'. An' she's nodda'boud to hab enny sludge in Missy's bladder, eidder, so heer come da meddysins.

Bud at weast we know where Dr Sharin is an' we kin ged to her if we hafta, an' now we don' hab to go aroun', bweakin' in enny noo V-E-Ts. Cos dere are not enuf good bunny V-E-Ts as it is, so whin you find a good wun, you godda allus know where you weft dem!

So we knows where our V-E-Ts are, an' we hab dere names an' numburs hangin' onna wist inna Bun Room, an' Maman has dem inna 'puter, too.

Oh, an' we gabe Dr. Sharin a RIFRAF Tee-shirt made by HAREWEAR! Yeah! So now she's pawt obba gwoup, ebben if she issa hoomin!

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:42 AM EDT
Wednesday, 12 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 12
Now Playing: It's Rainin' Floods!
Topic: The Next Generation

Hooboy. Heer we go agin.

Wast week-end it rained. An' it rained berry hard. Anna pond dat we hab inna back gardin dat Dadda sed is dere cossa dwainage isso bad, flooded up an' up almost toda middle obba backyard.

An' den da sun commed out anna wadder wint away.

So now it's rainin' agin. An' heer comes da pond agin.

An' Dadda sed datta guy inna house inna back ob us shuld be shot for puddin' inna swimmin' pool an' not habbin' his prop'ty graded rite. An' now Dadda's on his way up to his office inna Study to draw pwans for sum kinda "Freench Dwain" wiffa digger an' stones an' arkyteks anna dry well (which seems preddy pointless to me whin we got alla dis wadder). So dat's whut he's doin' an' Maman's geddin' out sumfing for tea, so I'm typin' aboudda rain anna pond atta end obba Gardin.

Wast nite, da pond was just byda back fence.

Eawy dis mawnin' it was up toda middle obba yard.

Now it's approachin' da Our Warren Memorial Gardin an' it's still rainin' hard!

Dadda keeps goin' downnastairs toda "cellar" (which I fink issa same assa "basemint" was inna udder house dat we usta hab, where da furn-ness Heeter Monster usta lib) to wook an' see if dere is enny wadder comin' in dere, but as he says to Maman each time whin he comes back, "So far, so good."

Da hay patch Dadda had gwowin' inna yard is unner wadder atta pwesent momint, so it wooks wike dat's preddy much da end ob dat hextperimint for dis yeer. We did gedda widdle hay frummit, but only a berry widdle. Dadda sed dat it wassa god hextperimint. I wuldn't know, since dere was so widdle obbit. Mebbe he'll do a bigger hextperimint gwowin' hay nextest yeer so we kin get a bedder idee ob whuttaheck he has in mind.

Maman's boxywoods pwants are up to dere middles in wadder. She sed dey are susposed to be a "hedge". So far, dey wook wike 3 pwants nextest to each udder by da fence. Dadda says he's gonna put inna'nudder fence ennyways, so dat's preddy much da end ob her "hedge", too.

At weast da Our Warren Memorial Gardin came out preddy good. Dere issa large yellow rose bush, den a flat rock inna triangle atta bottom obba steps. Den dere issa square ob lawn, an den sum more dirt wif 3 minny-at-chur rose bushes - red, ivory an' labbendur - an' den dere issa square digged out wif pebbles, where dere is gonna be sand spread ober it, an den bricks put down where da antique birdbaf is gonna go, wif two stone rabbits-dat-hab-no-smell to guard it. An' dat will be bordered by sum kinda bulbs an' stuff, wiffa pafway fru dem so Dadda can get toda cellar doors.

So dat's not a waste ob effort, ennyways, an' I fink Hunny wuld like to know dat he is dere inna Gardin wiffa rose bushes. I know Maman gets berry sad when she bemembers dat Belinda anna udder bunnies aren't buried dere, an' it's only Hunny dat is, but wike Dadda says, dey are all atta Rainbow Bridge. Whut was weft behind didn't make dem who dey is, an' dhey didn't need dat pawt ob dem enny more.

But Maman still gets wadder in her eyes an' I feel sad for her, because I am sad whin she is sad. If only I culd tell her da fings dat I see whin I cwose my eyes to dweam, den she wuld know, an' be happy...

Missy was just wonderin' if we shuld be geddin out oars. I axted her "Or whut?" an' she sed, "Nebber mind." an' wint ober to tawk to Clover.

I nebber quite know whut dat wifebun ob mine is finkin'.

Ennyway, I am keepin' a closed eye onna wedder inna Gardin.

I am able to do dis onna'count obba Dawg - he wakes me up whinebber he comes in or wantsta go out. Nobunny can sleep fru ennyfing wif him around an' he is allus goin' in or out fru da door.

Dis is cos he doesn't habba pootie-box. He says datta whole back gardin is his pootie-box, but I dunnow 'boud dis. Da Fat Cat says dis is not troo, dat dawgs in gen'ral is too dumb to use pootie-boxes, but we all know dat catz are ebbil, ebben if dey do use pootie-boxes wike we bunnies do.

But Cokie-da-Fat-Cat an' Beep-da-Cat habba 'Lektrik pootie-box, so dey rilly don' know whut da Dawg does, eidder. Bof catz are kinda stuck up ober dere 'Lektrik pootie-box, like it's sumfing onwy dey gots, dat ebberybunny wants, but dis is not rilly so.

For hextample, Belinda hated da 'Lektrik pootie-box. She sed it was ebbil, an' dat cos it was ebbil, dat's how she commed to know dat catz is ebbil. She told me ALL aboud it.

Whin she usta go out for her playtime, she was inna habbit ob leebin' a pootie onna top obba catz pootie-box, just to show dem dat she had bin dere. It's allus a p'lite fing to do, to leeb a pootie to show dat you hab bin sumwheres, an' Belinda wassa berry p'lite bunny. So she allus weft a "callin' card" as she sed, rite onna top obba catz pootie-box to wet dem know datta Top Bunny inna Warren had stopped by to bemind dem dat SHE wassa Top Bunny an' dere wassn' enny diskusshun on dat point. Dat's bein' p'lite.

So wun day, whin she was oud for her playtime, she got innu da catz pootie-box as ushual, an weft a pootie, rite on top obba sand, as she allus did, an' den she hopped down. Just bein' p'lite, as ushual.

Well, afta a couple ob sekonds, da pootie box stawted hummin', an' den it stawted rakin', anna shubble-wike fing came up an' scooped Belinda's pootie offa da sand an' flicked her pootie innu a buckit-type fing bifore it raked it's way back innu where it belonged.

Da 'Lektrik pootie-box had flicked out Belinda's pootie rite in frunt ob her berry eyes!

As you kin imagine, seein' her "callin' card" bein' tweated wike dis made Belinda a widdle bit uppysed.

So, finkin' dat dere musta ben sum mistake, Belinda got back inna catz 'Lektrik pootie-box an' left anudder pootie onna sand an' hopped out agin. She wassn' gonna wet sum 'Lektrik pootie-box make HER wook imp'lite.

An' inna few sekonds, da 'Lektrik pootie-box stawted hummin' agin, an' heer comed da shubble fing agin, an' it flicked out her pootie innu da widdle buckit-fing all ober agin!

Well, dat made Belinda mad. Cos nobunny ebber dared mess wif Belinda's "callin' cards" bifore an' she wassn' aboud to had sum machine "stawt wif her" now.

So she hopped rite back innu da catz 'Lektrik pootie box an' left a whole pile ob pooties an' peed on'em, too, cos she was rilly, RILLY angry now.

Anna 'Lektrik pootie-box skooped alla dat away, too, innu da widdle buckit.

So whin Maman came out innu da room where da 'Lektrik pootie-box was, dere was Belinda hoppin' in an' out obba 'Lektrik pootie-box, lebbin' one pootie afta anudder an' growlin' in frustration.

So Belinda sed datta 'Lektrik pootie-boxs was Ebbil an' dat I shuld nebber, ebber beleeb whut catz say cos ennyfing dat wuld use a 'Lektrik pootie-box hasta also be ebbil, which is why I can't nebber beleeb Cokie-da-Fat-Cat whin he says datta Dawg doesn't habba whole gardin for his pootie box.

Besides, da Dawg preddy much seems to know whut's goin' on outside inna whole Gardin an' Maman does wet him in an' out dere preddy much alla day wong.

Dat's wun fing aboudda Dawg - if he's in, he wants out; if he's out, he wants to pway ball wif sumbun. Ebben inna rain, he takes his ball out inna rain an' axts Maman to frow it for him. She says he's stoopit wike dat, an' dat he shuld know whin to come in outta da rain, but 'parentwy, he don't.

Ennyways, da Dawg just came in agin frum out inna Gardin an' he says datta pond back dere is up ober his paws inna middul obba yard, an' up to his elbows byda furst tree wiffa squirrells innit, an' pwob'ly up to his tummy inna tree behind dat where dere are more squirrells, but dat he didn' go chek onna'count ob Maman wuld hollar if he got his tummy-fur all soppin' wet an' she hadda dry him off wiffa towel agin.

An' he sed it's still rainin', but I knowed dat allreddy cos I can hear it hittin' onna widdle can-o-pee ober da door (I hab nebber bin shure why Maman keeps a can ob pee ober da back door. Sumday, I will bemember to axt da Dawg.).

An' Dadda has just comed up frumma "cellar" which I fink is inna same pwace assa "basemint" atta old house, an' wike he told Maman,

"So far, so good."

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:23 PM EDT
Tuesday, 11 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 11
Now Playing: Hallowe'en an' Bememberin'
Topic: The Next Generation

Yestidday wassa hollyday, Maman sed. I dunno whut kinda hollyday cos dere wassn enny dekkyrayshuns up aroun' da houz, but Maman is makin' Dadda pull out stuff frumma attik onna'count ob Hallowe'en.

Now Hallowe'en issa hollyday dat I sorta gotta handle on - mainly onna'count obba fakt dat we hab sellybrated it bifore. Seems dat widdle kidlets come toda door obba houz wearin' costooms an' Maman gibs dem candy.

But Maman says dat Hallowe'en is more den just costooms an' candy. She says it issa berry old, old sellybrashuns frumma past bifore dere wassa Church, an' dat in Inkwand, da Church taked da hollyday ober an' made it innu All Saints' an' All Souls' Days, da days dat we bemember alla dose who has gone to da Rainbow Bridge bifore us, sorta leebin' us behind heer.

So Maman is geddin' alla dekkyrayshuns togedder forda houz to make it kyoot forda kidlets to come an' ged dere candy. She has kyoot scarecrows, an' fuzzy catz, an' fake spider webs an' udder fake creepy stuff, an' cheerful skellytins an' stuff.

Dat's da light-hearted fun stuff dat goes wif candy an' kidlets.

But forda sewious pawt, da pawt aboud bememberin' does who hab gone toda Rainbow Bridge, Maman is pwannin' Church, an' to pway her two fav'rit songs by her fav'rit Church composer, "Ralf Vaughn Williams". Da songs are called "For Alla Saints", an' Immortal, Invisible. Maman's Dadda usta conduct dese songs ebbery yeer at dis time whin he wassa Church Choir Dirktor, an' Maman usta help him by pwayin' her 'cello in his stwing "quartet" an' writin' uppa'rangmints for him.

Heer at Our Warren we call dose songs Bim Songs, sorta wike his Spring Is Sprung song, onwy a whole wot more seriouser. I mean dis is sewious orch-est-wa musiks.


So, ennyways, on Hallowe'en Our Warren bemembers bunnies who hab gone toda Bridge.

Dere was Bunner who wassa furst bunny to ebber be in Our Warren. Phil-da-Lad rescued him frumma pet store where he was gonna be food fora snake. Maman didn't know about neuterin' or ennyfing at dat time, so she an' Phil joined da San Diego House Rabbit Society to learn aboud habbin' bunnies.

Den dey gots Periwinkle frumma backyard breeder. She wassa widdle brown an' white Inkwish Spot kinda bunny.

Den came Maman habbin' to leeb da fambly cossa Man Who Had Married Maman did horrybul fings to her anna Childrens, inkloodin' Phil-da-Lad. Ann' dere were horrybul lawyers an' skerry fights an' polices all ober, an' dat Man Who Had Married Maman got rid ob alla annymals 'cept forda Ancient Dawg, Tristan.

An' Phil-da-Lad cried an' cried an' cried as wun by wun his fur-friends was takin' away frum him or sent away toda Rainbow Bridge, until he was all OnAlone wif onwy da Ancient Dawg, Tristan, to be wif him an' be his Warren. Cos Phil-da-Lad wassa berry widdle lad bak den an alla hoomins were berry cruel to him cos Maman was sint away in Inkwand an' Phil was wif Tristan.

An' Bunner an' Periwinkle, sadly, culdn't stay wif him an' dey wint away wiffa Black Rabbit toda Rainbow Bridge togedder.

So I was talkin' to Our Dawg, who is named Zack'ry-Marcus an' he sed he knowed alla'boud stuff wike dat, cos dat is whut happined to him, almost.

He hadda fambly bifore he wassa pawt ob Our Warren, an' dere wassa mawmie, a dadda an' kidlets dere, too. An' wun day, dere wassa wotta fights an' yellin' an' stuff dat he didn' unnerstan'.

An' he dida wotta barkin' an' werryin' an' jumpin' up atta mawmie anna dadda whin dey was yellin' an all, an' dey yelled at him. An' he didn' know whut to do.

An' wun day, dey put him inna car an' taked him sumwheres an' weft him wiffa wotta udder dawgs dat he didn' know. An' dey nebber commed back for him. Dey was just gone.

An' den, wun day, Maman camed, an' she pud him in her car an' dey dribed a wong way, anna Zack'ry-Marcus didn' know whutdaheck was goin' on, he was just ridin' inna car wif Maman anna radio playin' tunes.

So dey comed to Maman's Momma-an-Dadda's house, bud he culdn't stay dere, cos her Momma sed he was too big, so he commed to Our Warren where he meeted Belinda an'Hawthorn, an' Hunny an' Poet, an Clover an' Beebe, MissyBun, anna nudder bunny, called Sno-ball ExFoster. I wassn' heer yet onna'cout ob not bein' borned.

An' den Maman's Dadda wint toda Bridge, an' Maman's Momma suddinly wanted Zack'ry-Marcus to lib wif her. So he moobed house again.

It issa good fing, he says, dat he is so good at moobin'.

An' den Maman's Momma god sick, an' poor, Zack'ry-Marcus was OnAlone again - onwy, we didn' know. We thought dat he was wif Maman's dotter, but she wassn't payin' enny 'tenshun to Zack'ry-Marcus AT ALL.

He wassn' geddin' food. He wassn' geddin' time out. He wassn' geddin' ennyfing but time to sit by himself onna bed while da dotta's dawg bited him an' stole alla his food.

So he was BERRY hoppy an'gwad whin Alla Us Togedder moobed innu dis house wif him. Maman's Momma told Maman to moob heer sodat we culd alla-us-togedder become One Big Warren along wif Zack'ry-Marcus. An' so dat is whut happined. We became Our Warren
But it is berry hard on annymuls whin dere hoomins suddinly don' seem to wanna hab dem enny more.

Nobun tells da annymuls ennyfing. Nobun 's'splains. Sumtimes, no pwans are made for dem at all, an' dey end up goin' to da Rainbow Bridge cos dey are not wanted an' da hoomins who axtchully lub dem aren't listened to.

Dis is whut happined wif Bunner an' Periwinkle. Cos Da Man Who Had Married Maman didn't care aboutta bunnies, an' didn't care aboud or wisten to Phil-da-Lad. So dose bunnies didn't gedda go toda V-E-T whin dey was sik. An' dey gotted sik. Dey didn't ged enny fresh hay. An' ALL bunnies need fresh hay. Dey didn't hab enny good food. An' ALL bunnies deserb to hab good-for-dem food.

Dose poor bunnies got whut hoomins call resented just for bein' alibe.

An' so, berry quietly, da Black Rabbit comed an' taked dem outta dere sad widdle cages an' showed dem da way ober da Rainbow Bridge toda Meadow, where dey can wait for Phil-da-Lad inna long green gwass an' bwight sunshine.

Da Black Rabbit does kindnesses wike dat. Whin hoomins are cruel, da Black Rabbit is sumtimes da onwyiest hope datta bunny has weft.

An' dat's why Maman allus bemembers All Saints' an' All Soul's Days as hollydays.

For Alla-Dem-Togedder who hab gone on bifore...

--- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 2:11 PM EDT
Friday, 7 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 7
Now Playing: EbberyBunny's Nutz
Topic: The Next Generation

Well, Clover's Lotterry Numburs were aboud as far away frumma Numburs onna TeeBee as you can ged wiffoud goin' to unudder country. Mebbe tinite's da nite wike Dadda sed, or mebbe it rilly is all a wotta "ah-doh aboud nuffin" as Maman suspeks.

Auntie Irene an' Dadda are preddy shure Maman's atty'tude is gonna mess dis "Lotterry" fing all up.

Well, Auntie Irene is preddy shure it is. Onna udder paw,Dadda nebber feels dere culd be ennyfing wrong wif Maman onna'count ob she is perfeck.

Auntie Irene says she suspeks Dadda is de-loo-ded. But I gotta bemind you dat Auntie Irene is sympafetik to catz, too, which kinda makes her a widdle suspeck inna wong run.

So dere you are.

Well, yestidday, Maman gotted a noo cattylog frum wunna dose stores where she orders stuff to wear. She seems to wike dis store cos it has nice coats an' NONE OB DERE COATS EBBER HAS ANNYMUL FUR ON'EM! If dere is "fur" dekkyrayshuns onna coats, dey is faux fur which Maman says issa onwy kinda "fur" ennybunny shuld be wearin' cos it is not sumbunny else's fur, but fur dat is made outta "syn-thet-tick matt-terry-als" which means dat it issn' reel fur, but made outta cloth, which is hokay.

Maman an' Dadda bof beelieeb dat fur bewongs on it's original owner an' not on ennybunny else!

So Maman seed dis coat in dat she wants in dis cattylog. An' she showed it to Dadda. An' Dadda sed it was nice, so Maman shuld ged it.

An' Maman sed, "No."

Now I can't figger dis out. She hassint buyed a coat inna wong time, an' she don't got much fur ob her own, 'cept on her head where it is onwy long, not 'speshully fick an' she is allus compwainin' aboud how she is cold.

So why does she show Dadda a coat she wantsta buy, dat she told me she wikes, an' den, afta Dadda says to buy it, she says, "No."?

I meen, wook attit dis way. MissyBun wikes raisins. You offer her sum raisins an' she don't say, "No" - she bounces all ober me, twyin' to ged her hed innu da bowl bifore I can ged a look-in. Ebben doh we ged raisins ebbery nite, she still wants alla dem. She don't say, "Oh, yeah, I want raisins!" an' den she baks away whin dey is gibben to her. Notta chance! Nope, she is rite in dere, shubbin' me outta da way so she can eat dem all by herself.

Now dis is troo wobunly beehabyour.

I find Maman berry perplexin'. Not to menshun not-too-brite, but Belinda allus sed dat dere was sumfing wrong wif Maman. Nuffin' sewious, just "sumfing", you know?

Ennyways, heer we are dis mawnin' wif Maman geddin' up early again wif Dadda, anna man is comin' to fix da tall clock inna Libbin' Room.

Now nobun is 'lowed innu da Libbin' Room, or "Lounge" as Dadda calls it. Catz, da Dawg an hoomins kin walk fru on dere way to sumwheres else, but unwess dey is "compiny" dey cann't sit on enny obba chairs, or wook at enny obba nice fings in dere. If Phil-da-lad is bein' good, he is 'lowed to pway wunna da pie-an-os an' make musicks, but dat's aboud it so far assa Libbin' Room goes.

So Maman is habbin sum guy come to fix da tall clock in dere, cos it doesn't werk.

Well, my qwetshun is dis: if nobun is 'lowed innu da Libbin' Room, den why does dere habba be a clock werkin' in dere?

Maman says datta clock is susposed to pway musicks an' "chime". But we gots Phil to do da musicks fing whin he comes heer, so whut's da point? We're gonna habba clock dat pways musicks inna room dat nobunny visits.

Whutta noos-flash.

Dadda sed iffa bloody fing ticks too loud, he's gonna hab to turn it off.

Well, dat's useful, too.

So Maman will ged da tall clock fixt, an' Dadda will turn it off.

An' Dadda is stoppin' by da Pet Store to ged us some more "Yesterdays News" litter for our litter-boxes. Mouse says it's aboud time. But Mouse is all cheesed off cos Dadda made him ged back in his habbytat yestidday afta Auntie Irene came.

Mouse wantsta be "Free Range Mouse", ebben doh he weighs 4 pounds.

I meen, wet's face it: Mouse weighs 4 pounds, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat weighs 39 pounds; Beep-da-Cat weighs 14 pounds anna Dawg weighs 55 pounds. Inna You-Sit-Onnit Contest, who is gonna loose here?

Maman keeps tellin' Mouse dat alla Dawg hasta do is ged PO'ed onct, an' it will be all ober for Mouse - an' DIS is why he is NOT "Free Range Mouse".

But Mouse is cheesed off ennyways an' gruntin'.

So dis is wunna dem "Contrary Days" at Our Warren when ebberyfing is goin' on an' nuffin' makes enny sense.

Mebbe it's cos it's gonna rain heer soon.

Furst time inna wong time, it's gonna rain. I know, cos I kin smell it whin Maman opined da door to wet da Dawg go out innu da Gardin dis mawnin.

An' don'cha know, she's dere yellin' at him not to pee onna minnyatchur rose bushes? You know, wike dere not gonna ged good an' soaked waiter on, what wif alla wadder I kin smell inna air dat's gonna come down soon as rain.

But dat's hoomins for you. Dey habbin't godda cloo.

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:41 AM EDT
Thursday, 6 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 6
Now Playing: Why I Am Wate
Topic: The Next Generation

Whoa, I am wate gettin' to my blog tiday!

It was just wun fing afta anudder, but mostwy, it was onna'count ob Auntie Irene comin' to visit us wif pieces ob paper.

Well, furst Maman hadda cwean uppa house cos Auntie Irene was comin' to ged her Hareware Hurrican Relief Pin.

You do know 'boud Hareware rite? Dat's a compiny in Callyfornia dat pwoduces da most bee-yoo-tiy-full pottery inna werld, an' tee-shirts an' pins dat were made speshul forda Relief effort forda Animal Victims ob Hurrycane Katrina. Alla munny collected wint to Noah's Wish which issa speshul gwoup ob hoomins who rescue pets who ged caught in disasters. Good hoomins who care!

You kin go toda Hareware web-site by goin' to:Hareware and also pwease see: for udder gweat fings from da same wunnerful hoomins & bunnies!

So ennyways, Auntie Irene commed ober, an' she stayed for awhile, but you know whut happined? An' I'm tellin' you, you won't believe dis whin I tell you whut happined, but I'm gonna tell you ennyways, cos it's preddy amazin'.

Auntie Irene is wookin' aroun' da Bun Room, an' she says to Maman,

"Wookit whut I gots!"

An' she shows Maman sum pieces ob paper.

An' Maman goes, "Ooooooh!"

An' Auntie Irene axts, "Which wunna your bunnies issa wucky bunny dats gots wucky feets?"

An' I'm wike all ears, cos I'm da bunny who wint to Church an' got blessed an' ebberyfing. So you'd fink I'm preddy wucky, you know?

But Maman says, "Well, I dunno, dere is Mouse. He watches 'Law & Order'."

An' Auntie Irene wooks at Mouse an' Mouse grunts, so you know dat's pretty much obba Not-Gonna-Happin-Kinda-Fing, cos Auntie issa Cat-Perzon an' is allus afraid dat she is gonna smoosh a bunny if she twies to pik wun up or sumfing. An' Mouse issn' da most "user-fwiendly" bunny in Our Warren.

So Maman goes on, "An' dere's Missy an' George."

An' Auntie Irene wooks at us an' (you won't beleeb it!) Shakes...Her...Hed!

Well, you know, at furst I sorta felt a widdle bad, bud Maman was pattin' me, so it wasn't wike I was bein' rejeckted or ennyfing, so I didn't mind so much as I fought I wuld. Not whin I seed whut happined nextest, ennyways.

Cos den Auntie Irene hassa wook at Clover anna Beeb. An' her eyes god big an' she s'claims,

"Dat's it! Dat's da wucky bunny!"

An' she's pointin' at Clover!

Clover! Who hardly nebber says ennyfing, an' cweans up afta Beebe-bunny - she's da WUCKY bunny in Our Warren?

You godda be kiddin' me.

But, nope, it's Clover.

So Dadda opins uppa habbytat an' hauls out big, ol' MsClover, an' Auntie Irene opins up da bits ob paper an' stawts rubbin' da papers on Clover's feets.

An' I'm ober heer finkin', Whutdaheck?

An' Clover's wookin' at MissyBun wike, "Ack! Whuttaheck?"

An' Missy's wookin' back at Clover wike, "Howdaheck do I know?"

An' Beeb is inna habbytat bouncin' up-an-down an' gruntin' cos he hates it whin Dadda piks up Clover, or ebben touches Clover, cos Clover is his wommin, an' nobun is sus'posed to ebben wook att'er wiffoud his permisshun.

An' ob course, Mouse is gruntin', cos dat's whut he does.

An' den Auntie Irene folds uppa bits ob paper an' scritches Clover's ears an' makes a big fuss ob her. An' den she says to Maman,

"Well, you bemember whin Palmer usta always lie onna Lotterry Tikits, an' dey allus won? Well, Jeremiah Winslow is world's laziest cat an' he won't lie on dem, an' da tikits allus lose. So I've decided that bunnies' feets are wucky. An' I thought, Charlotte has bunnies, so I wuld come ober heer an' see which wassa wuckiest bunny she had. An' heer you hab a very wucky bunny!"

An' Maman says, "Well, bunnies' feet are only wucky whin dey are still attached toda rabbit, you know."

An' Auntie Irene, who volunteers wif sumfing called Alley-Cat Allies an' issa annymul lubber wike Maman an' Dadda (ebben if she does wike catz) says to Maman,

"Well, of course! Dat's da onliest kind ob bunny feets as far as I'm concerned!"

So tinite, we habba tune innu sum pwogwam onna TeeBee dat issn' "Law & Order" to see if Auntie Irene's tikits dat was rubbed on Clover's feets is rilly wucky afta all.

Mouse is gonna hate dis.

An' if not tinite, den tomorry nite.

Mouse is gonna hate dat ebben more, speshully ifits whin "Law & Order" is sus'posed to be on.

Maman says it wuld be rilly cool if dis "Lotterry" fing werks, but she don't belieb in dat stuff. Dadda says dat much stwanger fings hab happined, an' he beminded her ob whut her Granddaddy usta say:

"Dere are more fings in Hebben an' on Earth den we hab ebber dreampt or prayed for."

Which, whin you fink aboud it, leebs a whole wotta stuff to happin, Clover's feets bein' preddy much da weast ob fings.

So dat was preddy much whut happined tiday, an' why I am so wate in postin' my entry inna Blog.

I guess we shuld all be rubbin' our feets heer, so I'll get down to it an' see if dis "lotterry" fing werks out.

Whutebber a "lotterry" is.

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 6:37 PM EDT
Wednesday, 5 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 5
Now Playing: Bunny Eekonomiks
Topic: The Next Generation

Stay wif me, I'll ged dis Numburin' Systim werked out the way I wantit preddy soon. It's gonna take a few hext'perimints, but I'll get dere. It wike Belinda sed, "Ebberyfings a learnin' hext'perience. Ifit don' werk wun way, shub it harder."

I'm not shure aboudda sekond pawt ob dat adbice, but you nebber know - Belinda libbed to be a berry old bunny an' she wassa Top Bun in Our Warren, so she knowed a wotta stuff an' wassa Berry 'Tellygint Bunny, so she mite turn out to be rite.

Den again, although she wuld nebber say it, Hunny sed dat dere had been times whin she was not quite rite aboud ebberyfing, which didn' meen dat she was hext'actly wrong, but she wasn' hext'actly rite eidder.

An' Hunny wassa Berry 'Tellygint Bunny, too, an' he libbed to be ebben much older den Belinda, which is rilly sumfing sheshul. Dey writed Hunny up inna medikul buks, he was dat old.

So I hab growed up wif two berry 'pressib bunnies an' hab sum big foots to fill, you know?

Ennyways, Maman an' I was wookin' atta adverts (dats whut Maman calls 'em) onna fing onna 'puter called "E-Bay". Maman is wookin' to buy anudder 'cello, which issa big fing dat libs inna corner obba Study wiffa Musik Buks an' stuff inna big, grey box wif lox on. She told me datta 'cello pways musik, but I habbin't heered it, so I don' know. Ennyways, she wants a noo "praktis" wun cos I don' know why. Mebbe da wun dat libs heer allreddy don' praktis ennymore or sumfing. I dunno.

So we were wookin', an' Maman finded sumfing else an' dis is it:

You can go to se it too. It issa "Buuny Fart Inna Bottle."

Dat's whut Maman readed out to me.


Sum guy in Wolverhampton, Inkwand, is sellin' a bunny fart inna bottle an' 3 hoomins (I guess dey are hoomins, cos bunnies aren't gonna buy farts whin dey can do their own, you know?) hab bid on dat itim allreddy! Anna guy sed he'll ebben add inna pikchur ob his bunny to proob dat da fart-inna-bottle is reel. And he'll ship da bottle wiffa fart innit toda States, too. (What, we don't gotta'nuf ob our own or sumfing?)

Ennyways, dat's whut Maman an' I founded dis mawnin' on E-Bay.

So I'm finkin', you know, dat bunny poo is rilly good for gwowin' roses. Dis is troo cos Dadda sed so, an' ebbin Maman, who can't gwow a gardin to sabe her wife an' can kill pwants just by wookin' att'em, says it is troo dat bunny pooties are good forda Gardin.

Now if bunny pooties are so good for roses, howcome nobun is sellin' pooties on E-Bay? I meen, wookit, here's sum guy in Wolverhampton sellin' bunny farts inna bottle. An' ebben ifit issa'tracktib bottle (he says dat it is, but to be honest, it wooks preddy much wike enny udder bottle to me frumma pikchur he pwobides) still, what's da use obba fart?

Whut'cha need are pooties!


Putt'em inna'tracktib bottles, an' sell'em on E-Bay as good for roses.

Dis is how bunnies can make munny an' become financhally innypendant ob hoomins!

You see, Hawthorn Bunny was rite whin he sed dat we habba corner da mawkit on pooties. Cos onwy bunnies can pwoduce dem, so onwy bunnies shuld exploit dem.

An' we'd bedder hurry, cos sum wisebutt ober in Woverhampton is allreaddy exploitin' his bunny's farts. It won't be wong 'til he geds aroun' to exploitin' da bottom obba bun's own, personal pootie box!

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 1:52 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 5 October 2005 3:05 PM EDT
Tuesday, 4 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day 4
Now Playing: Geddin' A Sekond Chance
Topic: The Next Generation

Belinda hadda systim for keepin' her Blog an' I discobbered dat I gots enny Systim.

Dat is, I didn't hab wun 'til I tawked to MsClover 'boud'it.

MsCloverBun, who issa wife-bun to Beebe-Bunny!!, pointed alla dis out to me wast nite. Ms Clover is wun berry organnyized bunny.

Maman calls her da "Hausfrau" bunny cos she is allus cleanin up her an' Beebe's habbytat. Ebbery mawnin', she hassa pile ob picked-fru hay for Maman to fro out, an' she has pushed da wadder anna food crocks to be filled uppa'gin. She is mostwy a tidy bunny, bud dis is cos she hasta be, cos she is bun-wife to Beebe, who issa mostwy disorgannyized bunny who mostwy onwy runs aroun' shoutin' "YO!" an' bitin' ebbery hand dat comes innu da habbytat.

An' Beebe runs aroun' a wot, shoutin' "YO!" an' bitin' cossa poor old guy spint da beginnin' ob his life assa "Skool Bunny" inna fish tank inna classroom fulla kids who didn' care aboud him much, inna skool in Phillydelphia inna pwace called Pencilvaneya.

3 yeers spint libbin' inna fish tank wif widdle hoomins tappin' onna gwass, an' shubbin' stuff atcha fru da wire on top, an' pokin' you, an' gibbin you all kinds ob rubbish to eat, wif nowhere's to hide, an' nuffin' to see an' nobun to rilly lub you is no way to stawt your life, lemme tell you.

So finally a teecher gotted him outta dat pwace an' taked him to sum hoomins who were kind, but who didn' habba cloo aboud' takin' care obba bunny. So Maman an' Dadda hadda dribe alla way to sumpwace called "Marywand" (which is where Phil-da-lad libs now) to rescue Beeb frum dat sitcheeayshun, too, but dat wassa wong time ago bifore I was 'dopted innu Our Warren.

But ebben so, Beeb has nebber gotted ober his horrybul stawt in life an' is still nuts.

Dis issa sad fakt for menny bunnies: dey get a bad stawt in Life cos ob hoomin stoopidity an' neglect - wike Beebe - an' dey nebber, ebber are able to ged ober it. It stays wif dem, an' dey are da biters, da fearful ones, da bunnies dat end up libbin' in shelters, who nebber ged 'dopted cos dere 'spirences wif hoomins hab been SO berry bad dat dey can't fortyged it.

So dees bunnies areda ones who don't come forward atta shelters whin hoomins are wookin' fora bunny to 'dopt, an' dey cower inna backs ob der cages atta shelters, an' dey are nebber 'dopted innu lubbin' homes! Dees areda bunnies who Nebber Gedda Sekond Chance at habbin' a good life wiffa GOOD hoomin.

An' all too oftin, at sum shelters dat hab no room cos ob MORE STOOPIT HOOMINS, a tag gets put on der cage dat says "Un-adoptable" an' dees poor bunnies are killed.

All because hoomins were mean to dem inna beginnin' an dey were nebbber able to ged ober it.

It's not da bunny's fault dat dey are afraid an' skeert an "un-adoptable"! But dey is kilt ennyways, cos dey are not "friendly" an' "'doptable".

An' hoomins who meet him wonder whuttsamatta wif Beebe. Well. We know whuttsamatta wif Beebe, but it don' matta to us at Our Warren. We just take care ob him an' tweat him kindwy, Maman says, cos sumwheres in his widdle hed, he knows he is lubbed, an' lubs us bak.

Bud MsClover hasta be berry organnyized wif him. She wets him hab raisins, an' den she pushes him outta da crock so she kin hab sum an' he don' ged sik frum eatin' too much sugar. An' she makes sure dat he gwooms her an' she holds him down so she can keep him tidy, too.

All in all, she has him in good shape, cos his whites are nice an' white an' ebben if his widdle uppy ears which usta be bwack are fadin' to grey, dey are a cwean grey, you know? Just wike da rings aroun' his widdle eyes. Da rings usta be bwack, too, but now dey are grey, an' dat's why Maman an' Dr. Sharin, da V-E-T, fink dat Beebe is older den dey fought at furst. Beebe is pwobably wike nine or ten years old, an' his wong wife can "pwob'ly be 'tributed", Dr. Sharin an' Maman sed, to alla good care he gots frum his bun-wife, MsClover.

So ennyways, MsClover telled me 'bout how Belinda had dis Blog-fing all organnyized, dat ebbery 30 days or so, Belinda would add a "strand" ob "hay" to her "diary". Cos Belinda sed datta diary is wike a bale ob hay, dat it is untidy wike a bale ob hay, an' it has menny strands wike a bale ob hay, an' it seems to wander all ober da pwace, wike hay outta a bale wanders all ober da house by itself (If you hab ebber hadda bale ob hay yourself, you know whut I'm tawkin' aboud!) an' dat it takes about 30 days fora strand ob hay to werk its way frumma Bun Room alla 'round da houz, back toda Bun Room agin.

Belinda wassa berry clebber bunny, but dis is onna'count obba fakt dat she wassa Inkwish Spot Bunny an' Maman says dat Inkwish Spots are berry "Project Oriented Bunnies" (whutebber dat meens).

So afta MsClover told me alla dis, I fought to myself dat Belinda hadda preddy good idee goin' an' dat I wuld try keepin' it up. So I wooked ober Belinda's Entries in dis The Hay Diaries an' I decided dat I wuld begin my own systim ob numberin' da strands.

In udder werds, I was gonna Gedda Sekond Chance at dis "Systim Fing".

So here goes. Yeah.

Now 'cordin' to Maman's 'puter calander, dis monf ob "October" issa 10th monf obba hoomin yeer. Rabbits don't hab months, we hab Seasons an' dey hab names, not numbers, but I'm not gonna bother you wif alla dat heer. Lagomorphin Cultchur is just dif'frunt, an' I don' 'spect ebberybun to ged it rite off, much wess 'spect me to 'splain it all an' ged it rite. So I'm just gonna go wiffa hoomin monfs, an' gib dem numbers, since numbers seem to make fings easier for hoomins ennyways.

So does dis make sense? Dis is my 10th Strand ob Belinda's Blog, which is called The Hay Diaries, an' dis is da Number Four Day ob dis 10th Strand.

If you don't geddit, don' werry. Just keep readin' an' I'll keep postin' an' we'll ged fru dis, sumhow.

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:28 PM EDT
Monday, 3 October 2005
The Blessing of the Animals (II) 3 Oct 05
Now Playing: What I Seed at St. Luke's
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, I gotta tell you 'bout bein' a Church Bunny at St. Luke's cos yestidday, atta Blessing Obba Annymuls, I was one forda Furst Time! An' lemme tell you, it was sumfing amazin'!

I meen, I hab nebber been da Church Bunny, but I hab heered aboudd'it, mostwy frum Hunny, who was Our Warren's Berry Furst Church Bunny.

So da Furst Church Bunny in Our Warren was Hunny an' he sed he got to be it by akkydint. He told me dat he didn' set out to beda Church Bunny or ennyfing, dat he was just dere in his habbytat, mindin' his own biznez bein' Top Bun, habbin' tweats, amblin aroun' an' checkin' his butt (dis is whut he sed) an' suddinly, Maman had dis wady ober for whutta hoomins call "tea".

Now frum whut I kin unnerstan, "tea" issa komplykated biznez inbolbing food an' tawkin'. Dere issa whole wotta tawkin', speshully if da wady-hoomins is good friends. An' Hunny sed dis wady who comed ober toda house wassa friend ob Maman's an' she hadda Pwoblem.

She hadda go visit sum sik childrens who didn't tawk in Inkwish, an dey were berry, berry sik in sum hoomin hospiddle far away. Anna wady (whose name wassa ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay, just so you know) didn't know whuttaheck she was gonna say toda childrens whin she gotted toda hospiddle dat culd make dem feel bedda cos she didn' know how to speak in dere wanguage.

So Maman seggested takin' dem a plush toy bunny to each childer, anna wetter typed by a bunny - cos bunnies don't speak in Inkwish assa Furst Wanguage, eidder. Da ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay wiked dat idee, an' so Maman buyed a coupula big plush bunnies, an' she an' Hunny togedder typed uppa wetter frum him, anna ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay gotted sum bunny colourin' buks an' crayons (dees are sticks ob wax dat hab colours. Dey are not gud to eet.) An' in his wetter, Hunny typed aboud bein' inna Warren, an' how bunnies nebber leeb each udder OnAlone, but allus do ebberyfing alla us togedder inna Warren. He told me dat he sed dat St. Luke's Church was kinda wika warren in dat way, too - allus doin' fings alla us togedder, an' not leebin' each udder OnAlone. He sed dat he was hopin' atta time dat hoomin childer wuld be wike rabbit childer an' just wanta know dat ebberybunny was finkin' obb'em.


An so (Hunny telled me) ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay wint uppa dat hospiddle an' seed da childrens an' dey got bedder.

Den comed Easter, an' ReveranDoktorV'GinnySheay axt Hunny to come to St.Luke's to sooperbise da Easter Egg Hunt. So Hunny was wike, "Well, whuttaheck, why not?" So Maman putted on his harness, an he sat in his baskit, an wint to St. Luke's. An' while he was dere, he got Blessed.

For no rezon. He sed he just was there, sittin' in his baskit an' he was Blessed an' it wasn't ebben Da Blessin' Obba Annymuls or nothin', just dat he was dere an' ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay gibbed him a Blessin'. An' it was for ALL ob Our Warren (which in dose days was onwy Hunny, Maggie, Heatherington, Willow an' Belinda).

So dat was how Hunny got innu da habit ob goin' to St. Luke's for Easter.

An' den, Hunny sed, Maman rescued a bunny named "Smokey" an' he wassa BIG bunny, an' he usta go to St. Luke's onna Sunday named "Penntycost" an' he got to wear a big red bow on his baskit. Anna wotta hoomins usta wook forwards to pettin' him, cos he was berry kind, an slow, an' patient. Maman says she is sowwy dat she don't hab piccies ob him, cos she sed he wassa beyoutifull bunny.

An' den, Smokey got berry sik, an ebben doh he wint toda V-E-T's an' all, he weft us forda Rainbow Bridge.

But Hunny kept on goin' to Church at St. Luke's.

An' den, Maman 'dopted Hawthorn. Den Belinda 'dopted Hawthorn for her husbun.

Bud Hunny was geddin' older an' older an' he didn' wike bein' in his baskit, an' bein' in Church at St. Luke's too much. He wiked sittin' in ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay's arms an' crawlin' up her sleebs, an' gettin' pets, but he gots bored durin' da tawky pawts, an' wanted down durin' da singin', an' he was just all ober da pwace (Belinda told me dis pawt obba Church Bunny Stowy).

At Maman an' Dadda's weddin, doh, he stood up to get pets frumma ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay, an' tried to crawl up her sleebs, an' he nipped Phil an' sat onna weddin' rings an' wuldn't gib dem to Phil to gib toda ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay, an' wike I sed, he nipped Phil a good'un whin he went diggin unnerneaf ob Hunny's butt to ged da rings, so dat was pretty much da end ob Hunny bein' Church Bunny cos wike Maman told him, "You can't be nippin' at peebles, Hunny."

An' Hunny sed, "Bugger dat. Dat wassn' 'peebles', it was Phil an' dat was my butt!"

But Belinda sed ebberybunny culd preddy much see dat Maman had Made Up Her Mind an' ebberybunny knows dere is no changin' dat.

So Hawthorn stawted goin' to Church at St. Luke's.

Now da fing aboud Hawthorn (an' dis is whut Hunny sed) was dat he was berry small, berry white, berry portable an' he didn' mind nothin'(not ebben Belinda, which was pretty much wike bein' able to ignore a 'ruptin' volcan whin you is sittin' onit, Hunny sed.). Whut none obba hoomins reelized was dat Hawthorn, bein' a blue-eyed white bunny, was dat he was deef. He culdn't hear. His ears didn' werk, which is why he culd ged away wif not mindin' Belinda. He axtchually didn't heer her tawkin' most obba time she wassa'wake.

Hunny sed Hawthorn deserbed da Order Obba Crossed Carrots Wif Parsley Wreath for puddin' up wif dat gurl-bun, but Belinda sed Hawthorn wassa bestest husbun inna Whole Werld. I fink em tells you sumfing aboud Hawthorn.

So, ennyways, Maman an' Dadda began takin' Hawthorn to St. Luke's. An' he wassa Hextellant Church Bunny, Maman says. He slept fru da tawkin' anna singin' an' wassa wake forda blessin's, an' he wassa'wake forda Coffee Hour afta, so he gotta wotta cookie bits an' cake crumbs. He told Hunny it wassa Hextallent Job fora bun.

An' den, just afta ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay retired to lib in Maine, an Father Dirk came to St. Luke's, well, dat was Hawthorn's Wast Easter. He weft forda Rainbow Bridge afta habbin' his pikchur taken wif Father Dirk wearin' his Brand Noo Vestmints, an' dat wassa wast pickchur taken ob gentle widdle Hawthorn.

Maman sed she tried to take Belinda to St. Luke's, but Belinda thought it was to Worship Da Bunny an' was preddy much obba disaster. Dadda sed takin' Belinda ennywheres needed six arms an' two heds (which he don't hab). An' dat alla whut dey sed aboudd'it, but Hunny filled inna gaps. He sed dat Maman came home frum Church an' told Phil dat Belinda not onwy wanted to get down durin' da tawkin', but she got bord inna middul obba singin' an' tried to sit on Dadda's hed, an' she almost eated sumbunny's hat, an' twied to sit in the Alms Basin whin it was bein passed downna row, an' den she tried to habba run fru da Choir, AND she nipped apawt da shoe-laces obba supply priest who was stoopit enough to ignore her, an' pwob'ly wuld hab peed on him, cos she was dat mad cos he was still ignorin' her, 'cept Maman gotted her back innu her carrier just in time - so dat was preddy much alla stuff dat Maman didn't want her tido.

An' ob course, as you know, bof Hunny an' Belinda hab gone along toda Rainbow Bridge. Dey were berry old, wunnerful bunnies an' I miss dem.

So yestidday it was my turn to go to St. Luke's to beda Church Bunny.

An' dere were a wotta dawgs dere! Big wuns, widdle wuns, reel furry an' not-so-furry. Two obb'em had on bandanas so I know dat dey had bin toda gwoomers, poor guys. An' dere wassa gwumpy owd Pug, sorta wike anudder Pug I know, onwy she issn't ebben pawtwy dat gwumpy, ebben onna bad day. An' dere were stoopit puppies, too, all pullin' dis way an' dat way on dere leeds.

An' dere were catz. Dere wassa berry speshul show cat behind me who had No Tail. She sed she was skert, cos dere was dawgs aroun' an' she wassa 'fraid ob dawgs, but I told her it was Hokay, dat I wuld show her howta handul dawgs, an' I almost peed onna rilly old widdle Chewowwa dat comed ober an wooked in my carrier, 'cept she didn't ged cwose enuf, butta Cat gotta idea, but den she got all snooty aboud it an' she sed she culdn't do dat. Cats are weird. You show dem howta handul dawgs an' den dey get all fussy aboud it.

An' ennyways, a wotta childrens petted me, anna nice wady who bemembered Hunny, Smokey, Hawthorn and Belinda (cos it was dat wady's hat Belinda twied to eat) sed she was thrilled to see me! Isn't dat nice? An' Father Dirk sprinkled wadder on me, an' gabe me a blessin' to carry bak toda Warren (which I did) an' Maman an' Dadda sed dat dey were berry pwoud ob me.

So dat's preddy much it. I gotted extry raisins for bein' good, an' Maman sed I kin beda Church Bunny again. So mebbe I kin do as good as Hunny, Smokey an' Hawthorn. Big feets to follow in, but I'm geddin' more 'Tellygint alla time, so dere is wotsa hope!

---By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:37 AM EDT
Sunday, 2 October 2005
The Blessing of the Animals (2 Oct. 05)
Now Playing: We Are Blessed
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, tiday mawks the biginin' obba Noo Chapta Inna Life Ob Our Warren.

Afta a wong time off, I am bak. Me, George, da widdle Noo Zeeland mixt wif Callyfornian bunny who libs heer at Our Warren wif MissyBun Hawpa, MsClover an' Beebe-Bunny!! an' Mister Mouse (anna Collie Dawg, Marc, anna Stoopit Catz, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat an' Beep-da-Goofy-Cat).

Dis is da Blog ob Ms. Belinda Bunny, nebber-to-be-fortygotted. She stawted it a wong time ago, bifore I was 'dopted, bifore I was ebben borned! An' den, just afta I was weft atta V-E-Ts assa weft-ober Easter-bunny dat nobunny wanted, an' 'dopted by Maman an' Dadda, den, Belinda, who was berry sik, she wefted me anna rest obba Warren forda Rainbow Bridge - which issa pwace where bunnies go to wait for dere friends an' rewayshuns to come to meet dem to begin dere Great Jurney to God's Great Warren.

An' Belinda wefted her Blog to me, George.

At furst, when I gotted it, I didn't know whuttaheck to do wiffit.

I meen, wookit, I'm a bunny-rabbit. Anna berry young bunny-rabbit, so I habba wot to lern bifore I become 'Tellygint. An' BOF Belinda an' Hunny (who wassa berry old an' honourable rabbit) told me dat I hadda not gwow meerly "old", but dat I hadda gwow 'Tellygint!

But gwowing 'Tellygint is hard! An' it takes a wong time. So whin I gotted dis Blog, I didn't quite know whut to do wiffit. I sorta made entries an' had idees an' writed down stuff dat I fought was impawtant, an' I tried to 'splain bunnies toda hoomins I meeted heer an' stuff, but it wassn' easy, you know?

An' sumtimes I didn' feel wike typin', an' sumtimes udder stuff gotted inna way ob typin', an' den sumtimes I didn't habba organnyzayshun rite, or I didn't hab ennyfing in my hed to type aboud. An' sumtimes it was just too much werk for wun widdle bunny to do all by his widdle self.

But tiday, well, tiday is Sunday, an' it issa Pawtant Day, cos it issa day dat we bunnies sellybrate da Speshul Day obba Paytron Saint ob Alla Annymuls, Saint Francis ob Assisi. He wassa guy who culdn't ged hoomins to wisten to him in Rome, so he wint outside an alla birds came to hear whut he hadda say.

An whut he sed was dat alla God's Creeashun is impawtant, incloodin us, dat we is alla us togedder, pawt obba genius ob God. Maman sed datta werd genius is badly unnerstood now, cos it issn' used rite ennymore. She sed whut Mister Saint Francis ment was more wike dat ebberyfing in Heaven an' on Earth contains a pawt ob da Creatib Principle obba Architect Obba Universe. She sed dat as Anglican Bunnies (which we are) we call dis Architect Obba Universe, God, dat dis is Our name for Him. Which is hokay, cos it was also da same name dat Mister Saint Francis used.

But whut Mister Saint Francis ment was dat none ob us is unimpawtant, none ob us is useless - dat whin you look atta two-foots or a four-foots nextest to you, you are seein' pawt obba genius ob God. Cos whutebber it is, iffit is in Heaven or on Earth, den it was Creeated. An' ebben if you fink dat fings "ebolbed", it don't madder, cos God culd hab made dat happin, too, you see. It don't madder, eidder way. No madder how far back you wanna go, dere wassa Beginnin an' rite dere, atta Beginnin dere was dat Architect, creeatin' fings alla'round.

So cos it is da Speshul Day for Mister Saint Francis, I'm stawtin' up Belinda's Blog agin, an' I'm gonna twy to keep attit. Mebbe ebberyfing I type won' be impawtant, or fulla 'pinions, wike her stuff was, but I'm gonna do my bestest.

Cos Maman sed I godda widdle bit ob Heaven in me, too. Issn't dat nice to fink aboud? Dat dere issa widdle bit ob Heaven in ebberybunny? In you. An' me. An' ebben inna catz. An' alla'round, an' in Our Warren, too!

By George

Posted by Our Warren at 2:50 PM EDT
Sunday, 26 June 2005
Gardin vs. Maman
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Whutta Dawg Sed
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Well, heer we go agin: da continuin' story ob Maman, Dadda anna Our Warren Memorial Gardin.

As you know, we godda Our Warren Memorial Window dat wooks out ober what Maman an' Dadda are hopin' will one day be da Our Warren Memorial Gardin.

Maman made a start on dis by creatin' da Our Warren HerbGardin. Which is berry nice, if somewhat onna small side. But dis is Hokay, because as Belinda Bunny pointed out oncet, "Big twees gwow frum widdle nuts, an' if dat's troo, den we godda whole forest rite heer in dis houz, just waitin' to gwow."


Maman an' Dadda went toda "Home-De-Pot" store yestidday, where I guess dey sell pots to take home (considerin' da name) an' udder fings (considerin' whut came home wiff Maman an' Dadda inna Buick).

Now bemember, it has bin hot outside, wif no rain for awhile.


Here commed Dadda wiffa widdle gardin fork anna equal-sized small shubble. Why he didn gedda full-sized stuff, I'll nebber know. Mebbe dey will grow bigger ober time. Whutebber.

Den Maman staggars fru da Bun Room wiffa prong fing wif a handle on top for turnin' uppa ground (she says). An' den Dadda comes fru wiffa'nudder bag wiffa hose innit an' sum rose snippers he calls, secateurs which is French for "rose snippers".

Anna Cokie-da-Fat-Cat wanders up,wooks at alla stuff, den wooks at me an' says, "Dis don' wook good. I'm goin' uppastairs, outta da way bifor ennyfing bad happins." An' he an' Beep beats feets forda Office which is onna sekond floor an' dat's da end ob dem.

Hoomins are wrong aboud ratz. It's Catz dat will allus be da furst ones offa sinkin' ship.

Soda Dawg comes up an' sniffs all stuff onna floor, wooks at me an' says, "Oh goody! We be's going outside!"

So I says to him, "You go an' watch 'em an' tell me whut happins."

Anna Dawg says, "Fine wif me."

Cos he's stoopit wike dat.

An heer comes Maman an' she's wearing glubs on hur hands wif fwowers on'em, anna long skirt (ob course) an she hassa square fing tied around her middle. An' she puts dat sekkytoors fings inna widdle pockit an' says toda Dawg,

"Hokay, Hose-nose. Wet's go."

Now I havta depend onna Dawg to tell whut happined nextest, cos he was out dere inna yard an' I wassn't.

So heer is Whutta Dawg Sed:

"Anna Maman an' me is walkin', me onna left-side-by-da-knee which is right, anna Maman comes toda roses an' she says,

"Ohmygoodness, wook-at-dat! Black-spots!"

"So I wook, but whuttaheck? Dere's a squirell inna tree wot's throwd a twig at me, so I run toda tree an bark cos dat's a threat! So Maman hollars,

'Shaddap, Dawg!'

"So I haveta shut up an go sit by da left-side-ob-her-kneee, which is rite. You'd fink she knowed a threat when she seed one, cos squirells issa menace to p'lite compiny, but she dont see dat - she finks dey are 'kyoot. So she's not payin' 'tension to where her feets are cos she's wookin' up forda squirell dat's alreddy gone, an' so she falls ober me.

"Toes inna side! Dat hurts But I don't whimper, doh, cos I amma manly dawg.

"So I know my trainin'. Number A: Sniff da Maman, Number B: Stand steady, Number C: Let her use me to ged herself back on her feets agin; Number D: Sit beside-da-left-knee-an'-wook-up-reassuringly. I am notta Serbice Dog for nuffin'.


"So she goes back to clippin' bits ob rosebush an' frowin' 'em onna ground. I do not hand dem bak to her, cos she alreaddy sed, 'No' an' I ain't stoopit.

"So when she's finished wiffa roses, she moobs on to whut she calls 'Hedge' dat is uppagainstdafence.

"Well, dat 'Hedge' don't smell rite, so I walks ober, lifts my leg, an marks it. She don't like me markin' stuff while she's watchin', I don't fink, but it's too bad. My gardin, an' I gotta mark whut's mine. An' cos I bin out inna gardin wif her for awhile now, I'm squeezin drops, Rabbit, lemme tell ya.

"So she's cuttin' branches now an' throwin' 'em inna pile behind herself. Pile don't got markings on it, so I mark da pile, too. You nebber know. Gotta keep up wif dis markin' stuff or you can loose your terrytorry. Ebbery dawg knows dis, ebben if hoomins don't seem to ged it.

"So by now we're onna bottom pawt obba gardin an' Maman's till cuttin' an makin' piles. An' now she comes to anudder string ob stuff. She makes 'tch, tch' sounds. Says to me, "Wookout forda thorns, Hose-nose."

"Wall, dat's whut I gots hair down'dere for. Keep it cleen, keep it fuzzy, keep fleas outta it an' it werks as it shuld to p'tectk your markin' 'quipmint frum thorns, nettles an all sorts. I ain't stoopit.

"So she's cuttin' an' bendin', an' bendin' an' pullin' wiffa cutters, an' geddin' red inna face an' Dadda comes up an axts,

"Why you cuttin outta blackberries?"

"An Maman's wike, 'Whut?'

"An Dadda is wike, 'Da blackberries. Or raspberries. Too early to tell which, but it's wunnada two. Why's you cuttin' 'em out?'

"An' he's not markin' ennyfing. He's berry lazy aboud markin', I notice. He only marks in one room. Dat is notta way to keep his Pack's terrytory from tresspasses fruma'nudder pack. Ya gotta mark ebberywhere's. Dat's why pawt ob my name is "Marc", cos I dose alla it around heer. It's "Zackary-Marc" an' I don't ebben wait forda rest ob it, I just go ahead an start markin', cos I know Dadda hasn't dunit, ebben if he is Da Alpha Male.

"So I'm markin' da pile ob thorns.

"An' Maman says, 'You meen we wanna keep dees thorny fings? Dey aren't a weed?'

"An' Dadda wooks at'em an' shakes his hed an' says, 'No, dey are berries ob sum kind.'

"So Maman wooks atta stuff I'm markin, squeezin' drops cos I bin out heer so long, den turns around, points to a row ob sum udder plants an axts Dadda, 'Whut's dis stuff?'

"An' Dadda plucks summa da leebs onna plant she pointin' at, an' sniffs 'em an' says, 'Lemmon sage'.

"An' dey go on downna row.

"An'dey come toda lilac bush/tree dat has udder fings gwoin unner'neaf ob it.

"So I'm sniffin' an' still markin' cos now we're outsideobbagate onna side obba houz, an' dat area h'ain't been prop'ly marked inna wong time, onna'count ob me not bein' 'lowed outsideobbagate an' Dadda not doin' his job wiffa markin. So it's sniff, walk, lift-leg, squeeze (cos I bin out a wong time); walk, sniff, walk, lift-leg, squeeze. Good fing it only takes a drop or I'd be in trubble. I notice dat we gots 'possums, too, an' wooks wike a bunny wast week dat was passin' fru fromma yard nestest stoor. She don't come heer regular cossa me, but she comes sumtimes. I don't mind, but I kin smell she's afraid, so I put a widdle reassurance innu dat mark.

"Ennyways, Maman an' Dadda hab stopped an' are starin' byda lilac bush. So I goes back, cos no one is payin' 'tension to me. Gotta see whut's happinin' cos it's da Pack way to do ebberyfing togedder.

"An' Maman is sayin' to Dadda, 'Dis happined bifor. We cut it down an' bury it inna bottom obba buckit. An' now it's bak.'

"An' Dadda is wike, 'Well, you gots to diggit out. But whut I don't unnerstan is: 'Howdaheck did it ged heer inna furst pwace? Sumone pwant it?'

"An' Maman's wike, 'It's natib toda mid-'lantic states. Grows assa weed most enny pwace. An' it's in dis pwace an' it can't stay. Mygosh we'll be 'rested!'

"An' Dadda geds da clippins buckit anna gardin fork an' ebben doh it's a hunnert degrees an' he's drippin' wadder off his hed, he starts diggin' atta plants atta bottom obba lilac tree.

"An' Maman wanders off cos she hassa 'tension span obba well-developed gnat.

"An' cos nuffink seemsta be happinin, I go back to markin. An' dere is dis fing I find inna ground byda lilac tree, stikin' up. Made ob metal. Smells wike Dadda an' hassa brand noo hose atta end obbit. Well, dis hassn't bin marked! So I pick up my leg for like da hundreth time...

"An' alla sudden, da hose jumps, anna metal fing gibs a widdle choke an' HolycowSaintMichaelanallaarchangels, dere's wadder comin' outta dat fing!

"An' it's *REALLY* comin' out!

"We're talkin' sprayin' all ober wiffa *chug* *spritz* *chug* *spritz* sound as it begins tossin handfuls ob wadder around inna circle aroundonna lawn.

"Well, Border Collies are known for dere fast reactions. An' I got good reactions ebben for a Border Collie. So I'm off like a shot.

"Middle-aged Englishmen are not known for dere fast reactions. Our Dadda issa Troo Englishman.

"An' Maman ambles aroun da corner obba houz an' she's wookin' as I shoot past. So she sings out, 'Marc! Come!"

"So I circles back.

"An' she says, 'Sit! Stay!

"So I sits down by her left-knee an' wooks. An' dere issa sprinkler, shootin wadder inna orderly circle onna lawn, an alla piles ob stuff, neatly marked by m, but habbin dere markins washed off byda wadder, an' dere's Dadda wiffa gardin' fork, stuffin sum green plants innu da bottom obba clippins bin.

"An Maman is wike, 'Issn dis nice, Zachary-Marcus? We're gardinin'."

-------------- As told to George Bunny ob Our Warren

Posted by Our Warren at 3:31 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 26 June 2005 4:07 PM EDT
Wednesday, 22 June 2005
Who Wants Tabe A Hiltun? Not Us!
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Whutsamatta Wif Bein' Me?
Topic: Me 'n' Mouse

I was tawkin' to Mouse onna'count ob him watchin' tellybishon wif Maman.


Well, he comed back innu da Bun Room wast nite afta "LawNorder" an' sed,

"Hey George. You wanna be a Hiltun?"

An' I was wike, "Whutsa 'Hiltun'?"

An' Mouse godda raisin frum his crock an wooked at me fora minit, chewin', an' den sed, "Howdaheck do I know? Bud it's onna TeeBee: 'Who Wants Tabe a Hiltun?'. An' dere are alla dees hoomins jumpin' uppandown, an' tawkin' wike dey are entirely stoopit, an' dis wady wif big bottom-pawts shakin' her hed wike Maman does whenna Dawg slops his wadder onna floor."

An' I sed, "So, whutsit alla'bout?"

An' Mouse sed, "I dunno. Dey just axt 'Who Wants Tabe a Hiltun?' So I thought I'd axt you if you wanted to be one, too. Seems da fing to do, you know?"

So Missy wooks up frum her hay an' axts, "Whut does bein' a Hiltun ged you?"

An' Mouse sat down, scratched his ear a widdle an' sed, "I dunno. Da hoomins just sed dat dey rilly, rilly wanted to be one."

Den Beebe-Bunny jumped up for no partikyoolar rezon, an' shouted, "YO!"

But he's allus doin' dat.

So, Mouse axted him if he wanted tabe a Hiltun, an' Beebe wooked at Mouse sorta cwoss-eyed an sed, "Whut for?", an den he gaddered his feets unnerneaf ob him fora popcorn binky.

An' Clover was sittin' in her pootybox, an' she says, "Wookit, I fink bein' me is fine. Who else am I gonna be? I mean, wook. Wassn't Hunny an' Maggie Weddinbunnies oncet? An' dey gotta ride inna baskits downna fing at SainLuke's wiffa ReverendDoktorGinnySheay an' Maman an' Dadda, an' Hunny sed it wassa wotta fuss an' bodder. So bein' Weddinbunnies is not sumfing dat I hab high on my list ob Fings To Be. An' den Belinda wassa Churchbunny, an' she sed she got to go to SainLuke's, too, an' she at weast got to snuffle up cookie crumbs unnerneaf obba tabul inna big room, but she also sed dat dere were a wot ob widdle kidlets runnin' around, an' sum guy dat didn't wike bunnies. So bein' a Churchbunny isn't high on my list ob Fings To Be, eidder. I fink I wike bein' me."

"So whut are you?" Asked Mouse.

"Miz CloverBun, A Gurl ob RIFRAF."

"Just dat?"


Mouse piked atta piece ob hay an' cut it innu short bits.

"You see..." He sed, as he was cuttin' da hay, "Da fing is...*snip*... Dat hoomins onna tellybishon... *bite*... is allus doin' stuff... *snip*... Dey are not happy just bein'...dem."

Den he finked fora minit an' added: "An' dere wassa 'Bride' dat runned away. Dey made a big deal ob dat. She runned away frumma weddin'. Maman an' Dadda didn't run away, did dey?"

Clover shook her head so dat her ears flapped.

"So dey wassn't onna TeeBee." Mouse continnyued.

An' Clover sed, "Nope. I wuld hab herd Belinda say sumfing aboudda fing wike dat."

"Dey was just dem."

An' I sed, "Well, whuttaheck else was dey gonna be?"

An' Mouse sed, "Dey wassn't Hiltuns, right?"

An' Missy sed, "Nope, nebber."

"So I guess we're safe."

"Frum?" Axted Beebe, as he popcorned ober Clover's back again.

"Bein' Hiltuns."

An' I sed, "Yeah. I don't fink Maman has enny pwans in dat direkshun. She sed she hadda do 'laundree' tomorry, so bein' a 'Hiltun' is preddy much outta da pikchur."

An' Mouse nosed aroun' in his pellet crock fora minit an' den wooked up an' sed, "Good. Cos dere is no way enny ob us is gonna go lib in dat tiny box called a Teebee wiffa fat wady inna green dress. I much radder habba habbytat heer, wiffa Bun Room, a screen-porch, an' alla udder stuff we got den to go off to Teebee-land tabe a Hiltun."

An' Missy stopped chewin' an' sed, "You gotta go lib inna box to be a Hiltun? Well, fregdaboud dat! Stoopit hoomins. Bedder to be me."

An' wooked at her, cos she is my wifebun an' all. An' I sed, "So why issit so gweat to be you?"

An' Missy sed, "Cos you know where you are wif yourself when you're me."

An' Mouse kind chuckled, reel quiet ober in his habbytat, an' crunched wunna da gwape toe-may-toes dat Maman put in wif our salads.

"Yeah, " he 'peted. "You know 'zactly where you are wif you. We are in our Forever Home. No more shelters, no more OnAlone. An' dat's preddy much good enuf for me."

An' we agreed, cos whodaheck wants tabe whutebber a Hiltun is, ennyways?

------------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 2:06 PM EDT
Friday, 17 June 2005
Da Return ob Belinda Bunny
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: HareWare
Topic: Da Lore
You godda heer dis, cos it happined!


You know dat it has bin rilly hot all week. I'm tawkin so hot dat nobunny was rilly bein' outsides, 'cept forda Dawg, who hasta use da Outsides assa pootie-box, cos dat's whut Dawg do.

But wast nite, it wassa widdle bit cooler, so Maman an' Dadda wheeled alla habbytats frumma Bun Room out on toda Screen-Porch so we culd catch summa da breezes dat was suddenly stawtin' to blow.


Last evenin' on yestidday, while we was Alla Us Togedder sittin' in our habbytats onna Screen-Porch wif Maman an Dadda, it got rilly dark an' dere were a lotta cwouds inna sky anna wind got up rite afta dinnertime!

An' Maman an' Dadda an' Alla Us Togedder were sittin' dere onna Screen-porch, when Maman jumped up wif her eyes rilly big an' called to Dadda, "Come on! Da Fwag is still up!"

An' dey skurried out toda fwagpole dat is inna frunt gardin - well, Dadda did. Maman anna Dawg stayed just inside obba frunt door, watchin, cos Dadda figgers dat da two ob dem is wess trubble watchin' den if dey is helpin'.

So, Dadda is out dere wiffa ropes an' stuff, an' alla wind is blowin', anna fwag is fallin' downna fwagpole, an' he's catchin' it, an alla'sudden, it's wike sumbun opined uppa sky an' dumped out alla rain at one time!


An' Dadda's got his arms fulla Fwag, an ropes, an' he's twyin' to tie uppa ropes inna wind anna rain, an just as he geds ebberyfing tied up - sumbun turns offa fawcett inna sky - an ~Whoops~ da rain moobs on anna sun pops out.

An den Maman geds all hextcited an' stawts pointin' atta sky an' 's'klaims, "Wook! Wook ober dere! It'ssa rainbow! Da Rainbow Bridge!"

So, ob course, we all wooked, cossa Rainbow Bridge is pawt obba Lore. It is where ebberybunny goes wiffa Black Rabbit, da Gateway toda Meadows where we can wait for our Hoomins so we can begin Da Great Journey to God's One Warren, Alla Us Togedder. It's where Belinda went, an' where Poet is, anna pwace dat Hunny saw in his Ancient Rabbits Dreams. An ebbery fur, fin an feather child dat has ebber libbed is dere, waitin' for dere Person to begin da Journey toda Forebber Home. It's da Rainbow Bridge an' you only get to see it sumtimes, on speshul days whenna sun, anna wind, anna sky is just perfekt.

An' dat issa Lore, an' dat is Troo.

An' so, we Alla Us Togedder, wooked up to where Maman was pointin', an dere it was! A piece obba rainbow was inna sky, shinin' against da dark, dark cwouds!

It was justa Gateway toda Rainbow Bridge!

An' Dadda wooked up, all dwippy-wet an' hollars, "Oi! Belinda! Quit'cher buggerin' about, ya miserable camel-faced auld cow!"

An' Maman's wike, "Whuttahecksgodinnuyou?"

An' Dadda, all drippy-wet wooks at her, berry reasonable-wike, an' says,

"Well, can't you just see her? She's done it again - peed all ober ebberybun an' now she's laffin' aboud it! Rite frumma Rainbow Bridge!"

So I guess, wike Maman an' Dadda keeps sayin': Belinda nebber quite leebs us. She's allus just dere, just outta site, an' as close assa nextest thought.

Bud, you see, I alreddy knowed dis cos she told me dis is whut wuld happin.

So yeah, she wuld rilly approob ob my friend, Mr Wally LaserLips, Mr Joon, who libs in Callyfornia, an' issa Chef anna Food Reviewer an' writer, an ebberyfing, an' he has his pikchur on tee-shirts an totebags, an' hassa compiny ob his berry own! He's a berry faymus bunny, an' he ebben has his Mawmie werkin' for him! An' he issa Inspirryashun to bunnies wike me who are still growin' to be 'Tellygint!

An' you know whut? You can visit his web-site, too! An' you can habba Chef Wally shirt, an' see alla wunnerful pottery dat his Mawmie creates!

So click onna noo HareWare! link onna left-hand side obba dis page, unner da heading "Bunny Blogs", or cut-and-paste dis URL to your browser window and click "go":
An' come an see dis berry speshul bunny site!

Cos Belinda wuld want you to. An' you know whut she does when she doesn't ged her own way...

--------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:21 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 17 June 2005 12:37 PM EDT
Thursday, 16 June 2005
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Foolin' Natchur
Topic: Movin' On!
Maman waked up dis mornin' aboud five-AM, comed out innu da Bun Room an' told me dat dis was wunna dose mornin's when she felt wike she wished her hed wuld fall off an roll unnerneaf obba sofa where we wuld hab to go pokin' around, wookin' for it wif sticks.

An' I wooked at Missy an' sed,


An' it was all cloudy out, wiffoud sunshine for once, which issa good fing, cos it has bin rilly HOT heer.

Not *heer* inna Bun Room, cos we hab sumfing called "central air" which seems to be datta heat-vent blows cold air for me an' Missy to sit-upon.

But when Maman opins da Back Door to wet outta Dawg...

Lemme tell you, whut comes in fru dat door is wike whut comes outta dat udder white box inna kitchin where Maman puts Dadda's dinner - da Obin.

An whenna Dawg comes inna'gin, he says dat it is HOT out dere an' dat da onliest fing you can do is to sit inna grass unner a tree an' keepa Eye Out Fur Squirrells. Cos ennyfing else is just more den wun Dawg can cope wif.

Maman sed we can't go out onna Screen-Porch onna'count ob it bein' too hot out dere, too, an' so we are stayin' inna Bun Room, sittin' ober dat "Cental Air" fing, singin' songs an' habbin' hay. Cos dat's whut bunnies do when dere is too much sun - just take it easy.

But not Maman or Dadda. Nope. Hoomins are stoopit wike dis. Dey go out inna sun, or else dey keep doin' fings wike it is not hot out.

But ebbin' if it is not hot inna houz, your insides know dat it is hot outside. Dey know dat whut is inside is not rite compared to whut is outside an' dat sumfing is wrong wiffa entyre pikchur ob Whut Rilly Is Goin' On.


Cos your insides know dat dere is too much sun outside, an' dat it is too hot to be doin' so menny fings, but dat you are inna (big werds comin' up heer) "arty-fish-ul en-vy-ron-mint" dat is not reel.

Dat's whut "arty-fish-ul" means: NOT REEL. Fake.

An' "en-vy-ron-mint" means: whut's around you, whut you are libbin' in.

So, basikly, it means dat you are libbin' in whut's not reel, an' you insides know dat dey are bein' fooled an' dey don't wike it.

An' so, your insides are wettin' you know dat dey know dat you are tryin' to PRE-TEND fings aren't as dey rilly are!


An', you know, you shuld not try to fool your insides innu finkin' dey are sumwhere's dey are not, cos dey still know dat outside dis cool, nice, arty-fish-ul en-vy-ron-mint inside obba houz, it is still majorly HOT outside obba houz inn reel werld.

Bunnies know dis wiffoud bein' told, cos we listen to our insides.

It's wike dis:

How do you fink datta bunny inna burrow knows da wedder outside obba burrow? How do you fink we know how deep to dig da burrow, or where to dig it, or how to place it so it will be outta da wind an' rain?

Our insides knows.

An' we listen to our insides.

Dis is why, ebben wiffa "Central Air" coolin' our butts, we still lie aroun inna Bun Room an' act wike we is outside inna burrow, an' sing songs all day an' eat hay - cos our insides aren't fooled by da "Central Air" blowin' up our fur.

We know dat da "Central Air" issa fake air, anna "Arty-fish-ul En-vy-ron-mint".

Da reel deal is out dere where da Dawg is, onna grass, unner'neaf obba trees. An' just wike da Dawg says (which we alreddy know) it is HOT out dere!

An' we're smawt enuf to sit still, cos we listen to our insides.

But Maman an' Dadda go on wike da outside don't happin - which is why whin Maman gotted up dis mornin', her hed felt wike a punkin', an' her joints won't werk, an' she can't find enny balance, an' she's needin alla da coffee-inna-pot just to stay upright on her feets.

Cos listenin' is notta hoomin fing.

Yeah. I hab noticed dis bifore: hoomins do not listen to much besides whut dey wanna heer.

An' I fink I know why...

It's cos dey gots small ears.

Yup. Small ears, close to dere heds, dat don't moob well.

It's gennyetricks. Or sumfing. But dat's whut's happined to dem - dey hab small ears, so dey can't listin to whut's goin' on alla round, unless it's comin' frum inside ob dere heds.

It's worse den dags or catz, I'm tellin' you.

Hoomins are EAR-er-ly challenged (which means dat dey can't help it).

All I can say, issat it issa good fing dat Maman an' Dadda hab Companion Bunnies!

------- by George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:19 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 16 June 2005 8:36 AM EDT
Monday, 6 June 2005
Memorial Day
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Bememberin'
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, Memorial Day wassa innerestin' week-end, lemme tell you!

Furst ob all, Memorial Day is notta Day, it issa coupla days all strung togedder innu one big mess ob days an' nites when stuff is goin' on. But Hoomins tend to call it all "Memorial Day" wike it was all onwy wun day when it's not.

Sekond fing to know issa Memorial Day issa time to bemember ebberybunny who has ebber bin inna Millyterry Serbices. In Our Warren, it seems dat dis icloods a wotta hoomins...
Maman's Dadda, who is Our Bim, who was inna Naby Medical Corps at Bainbridge Naval Hospiddle.
Maman's Unkul Eck who was inna Army in Europe an' was on Gen'ral Patton's Staff.
Dadda's Dadda, Jack, who serbed inna Royal Engineers, an' was in Burma an' den stayed wiffa Regiment.
Dadda's Unkul who was Jack's brudder who was inna Royal Naby an' serbed onna famos ship.
Phil who was inna Naby in Pepsicola.
An' ebben Maman's greatest great-great-great-sumfing grandest-fadder who wassa gen'ral inna Rebbelooshunary War an' sum stuff, an' dees udder great guys who was inna Cibble War all ober da pwace.

So we had sum Quiet Time to bemember alla des hoomins, as well as alla mules, horses, dawgs an' pigeons who serbed inna Millyterry. An' Phil sed dere are dolphins, too, cos he met sum ob dem.

An' Maman sed it was 'portant for us to bemember dat dere were annymals who serbed inna millyterry, an dat dere were wimmins an' men, an' sumtimes ebben childrens who ran away to be inna Serbices onna'count ob dey beliebed in whut was bein' fought for. She sed dat Our Bim runned away frum College an' so did his friends, an' sed dey was older den dey rilly were, just so dey culd get to be pilots.

But only wun ob dem became pilots, an' his name was Dave Sweet, an' he wassa onwy wun who didn't come back.

Our Bim told Maman dat his airplane went up frumma hareplane carrier wun day inna Pasifik, an' dere wassa fight wif udder hareplanes, an' when alla hareplanes wooked aroun', nobun culd find Dave Sweet's hareplane. It was just gone, an' nobun knew where it went. Maman sed dat mebbe da angels reached down an' taked it, so dat's whut I'm finkin'. You know, dat Bim's friend Dave Sweet flied so high datta angels just reached outta hand an' taked him off to show him da Rainbow Bridge, an' so he an' Our Bim could meet up dere, you know? Afta alla dees yeers.

So Maman bringed us alla us togedder wif her innu da Sittin' Room at Monday Nite an' we listened an' watched sum orchestra anna band an' stuff, playin' music for Memorial Day. Mouse sed it wassn't "Law-n'Order", but sumfing speshul, an' I guess it was, cos we was all dere.

An' Maman sed it was good to bemember, an' good to be sad aboud alla hoomins who had been inna millyterry, an' dat it was good to know how ebberybunny was brave, an' sad to know how young ebberybunny was habbin' to be brave. She sed dat mebbe sumday, ebberybunny wuld know whut bunnies know - dat dere issn't a need to fight ober ennyfing, 'cept against does hoomins who want to make you slabes to dem.

An' whin da tellybishon program was ober, she played a song for us called "Rool Brittanya" (I fink dat wassa name obbit) an' it sed aboud nebber, nebber, nebber will be slabes.

An' she sed dat was for Dadda's Jack.

An' yeah, dat's hokay wif us.

An' we got parsley, sum dill, an' widdle cherry tomatoes for tweats.

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:23 AM EDT
Monday, 23 May 2005
Top Bunning
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Whuttaheck Am I Doin' Heer?
Topic: The Next Generation

I am bememberin' sumfing Hunny told me.

"Da key to bein' a Top Bun is to allus okkypie da high ground. Ebben if your highest ground issa pootie-box, okkypie it."

So, I been spendin' da mornin', okkypyin' da pootie-box, which (afta Missy's last visit) issa highest point inna habbytat.

Sumhow, I don't see whut alla fuss issa'bout.

I can't see more frum up heer.

I can't 'zacktly do ennyfing speshul while I'm heer, 'cept sit.

Dere's nuffin' in par-tick-you-lar goin' on, but here I am sat, onna pootie-box, okkypyin da highest ground around, wike Hunny sed.

Now he allus managed to wook diggyfied doin' dis, but I habba sneeky feelin' dat I wook preddy silly.

Maman just came by wiffa Dawg, an' she said, "Whoa George! Back inna 'High Life' are you?" an she *waffed*.

Ebben da Dawg grinned, an' he was headed outta door for his Mornin' Bark (which issa berry serious fing for dawgs, lemme tell you.). It issa way dat dawgs communykate wif each udder. As pawt ob my learnin' to grow 'Tellygint, I axt da Dawg aboud dis, an' so I learned:

1.) Dawgs hab two times ob day when dey go outside just to bark.
2.) Dis kind ob barkin' is not meant to be annoyin' to ennywun. It is barkin' to hextchange infortymashun wif udder dawgs inna area.
3.) Furst dawgs trot around dere terrytorry an' mark it.
4.) Den dey okkypie da Highest Ground an' announce dat dey are where dey are 'sposed to be an' dat dere terrytorry is sekure.
5.) Den dey listen to udder dawgs say da same fing.
6.) Dawgs also announce if dere terrytorry has bin Invaded, or ebben just bisited by Sum Outsider. Dey also warn each udder if sumfing is New or Strange.

Dis is all becos Dawgs are Pack Annymuls. Zachary-Marcus says we are in his Pack an' he issa Beta Male who is on dooty when Dadda (who issa Alpha Male) is not. Zachary-Marcus is also da Hed Barker onna'count obba Factk dat he issa only troo dawg in his Pack. He told me dat dere are menny Packs wike dis Pack, wif Beta Males or Females taking uppa job as Hed Barkers libbin' heer. He knows becos he barks wif dem inna mornin' an' also inna late aftanoon.

So, you see, oncet again, okkypyin' da High Ground is impawtant. It is where da Hed Barker sits to announce his Noos.

So here I am onna High Ground, but bunnies don't bark to hextchange noos. I mean, iffa bunny wants to know whut's goin' on inna warren, he or she just wooks atta'nuther bunny an' whut dat bunny is doin' gibs da furst bunny alla infortymashun he or she needs to know. If one bunny is eatin', we all eat. If one bunny is sleepin', we all know it's hokay to sleep. If a bunny is starin' up innu da sky an' *thumps*, den we high-tail it outta there an' hed for da Warren, cos sumpthin' bad is comin'. Bunnies communykate mostly by seein' each udder.

So whut does seein' me on toppa da pootie-box say?

Well, Beebe is standin' on his pootie-box, an' Mr Mouse is standin' on his pootie-box, too. So dat makes free (3) ob us standin' onna pootie-boxes while da girls are eidder habbin' a wash or munchin' on hay.

So, whuttaheck am I doin' heer?

I dunno. I'm still werkin' on dis becomin' 'Tellygint fing. Hunny sed to okkypie da High Ground. Well, I've done it an' don't see dat I'm gettin' anyfing in par-tik-you-lar becos obbit.

Mebbe I'll go follow sum udder advice of Hunny's - "Hab sum hay an' habba nap."

Yeah, sounds good rite aboud now.

"Hab sum hay an' habba nap. Fings will wook much bedder when you wake up."

Now dat's advice to follow!

----------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 9:28 AM EDT
Friday, 20 May 2005
May Showers
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: I Love A Rainey Day
Topic: The Next Generation

Oh yeah!

It's rainin' heer!

Afta 16 fresh-scrubbed days filled wif sunbeams anna bright bloo sky, it's comin' down in buckets.

An' you know whut?

It's wunnerful! Some mite ebben say luxurious. Udders wuld say it's just perfekt. An' it is. I knew it was gonna happin, too - knew wast night bifore I went to sleep.

Yeah. Wanna know how I knowed? It's pawt ob bein' 'Tellygint an' learnin' to use your nose to pwan ahead an' stuff. Hunny teached me. He sed, "When you smell dis smell at nite, it means rain bifore mornin'." So now, I allus smell da nite breeze, an' becos dere issa Roo-Teen, da nite-breeze is allus dere for me to sniff.

A Roo-Teen issa good fing to hab. It's a fing dat happins alla time, atta same time, ebbery nite, in preddy much da same way. Maman says we don't had Roo-Teens an' need to ged sum, but Dadda says we habba a Roo-Teen alreddy goin' for us, but it just don't werk so well.

Well, I dunno if da Roo-Teen we gots is enny bedder or worse den ennybunny else's Roo-Teen; each time we do it, it's a widdle bit dif'frunt fromma time we did it bifore, but it all ends up da same way - wif me geddin' to sniff da Night-breeze so I can smell whut da weather will be onna nextest mornin'.

Wike wast nite...

You see, firstest whut happined is dis: Phil called up Maman onna phone an' tawked.

An' tawked.

Which is notta bad fing. It's good dat he anna'Lanna call an' tawk wif Maman so she don't ged lonely fordem. I didn't heer much obba conbersayshun cos Maman was inna Sittin' Room an' Missy an' me was inna Bun Room, but I did heer sumfing aboudda p'rade, an' Memorial Day, an' dem dribin' up frum Mary-Land inna noo car, which was hokay wif me.

So dat's whut was goin' on inna Sittin' Room - Maman tawkin wif Phil.

An' den Dadda comed downnastairs frumma Office, an' you tawk aboudda P'rade! Dere was one rite behind ob Dadda as he comed downnastairs - an whut we're tawkin' heer is two Catz anna Dawg followin' on. Anna whole time dere comin' downnastairs, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is compwainin' dat he is hongree.

So Dadda calls into da Sittin' Room dat he is stawtin' da Roo-Teen.

An' Maman gets offa phone-fing frum Phil an' she comes out innu da Kitchin.

So she's atta sink, washin' Kitty Dishes, anna Dawg Bowls, anna Bunny Crocks.

Anna Catz is p'radin' back an forf, tawkin.

An' Dadda says, "Wookit, you buggers, ged out frum unner my feets!"

He says dat alla time toda Catz, but da Stoopit Cat nebber listens. She just winds aroun' and aroun' Dadda's feets, tawkin'.

So Dadda falls ober her an' says a Bad Werd in Anglo-Saxon. He says I'm not 'lowed to type it, so I won't.

Den Cokie-da-Fat-Cat stawts tryin' to ged a wook innu da Dawg's bowl, butta Dawg don't wike dat, so da Dawg tries to shub Cokie outta da way. But shubbin Cokie is hard, onna'count obba fakt dat Cokie is pawt brick wall.

So Cokie shubs da Dawg back anna Dawg barks, an' Cokie says a Bad Werd in Cat an' pats da Dawg onna hed. Anna Dawg backs innu Maman who has Keepin' On Her Feets Ishoos.

So Maman yells atta Dawg, anna Dawg tries to appologise, an' hitta Cat wif his butt atta same time. So Cokie pats dat Dwag inna butt wif his claws out, an' Dadda yells at Cokie an' Cokie says he didn't mean enny harm, he was just combin' da Dawg's fur for him.

Anna Dawg barks, "No way!"

Anna Cat says, "Warowl", which is "Way!" in Cat.

So Dadda begins to opin cans ob food anna akshun heats up.

Dadda tells da Dawg to "Sit". Now dis is sumfing da Dawg lerned howta do in Skool. So da Dawg sits for aboud two sekonds an den stands upp'agin. So Dadda tells him to "Sit" an' "Stay".

Da Dawg "Sits". Which is preddy good, cos den da Stoopit Cat comes along an' rubs along unnerneaf da Dawg-head an' flicks her tail unnerneaf ob his nose. Soda Dawg whines an' sneeezes onna Stoopit Cat, anna Stoopit Cat goes ober to Cokie-da-Fat-Cat so she can rub da Dawg Snot off on him. But Cokie don't want enny Dawg Snot, so he sits up an' takes a swipe wif his big-ol'-paw atta Stoopit Cat.

Anna Stoopit Cat smacks him one upside ob Cokie's hed.

An' Dadda hollars an' tells dem dat dey are all "buggers" again.

Soda Stoopit Cat goes along an' comes innu da Bun Room. Well, da Dawg doesn't wike Catz inna Bun Room. It's wunna his "Roolz" dat dere will be No Catz Inna Bun Room. I agree: we don' wanna hab stinky catz inna Bun Room. So as soon assa Stoopit Cat sneaks innu Da Bun Room, da Dawg pops up an' starts to "stalk" da Stoopit Cat.

Now dis "stalkin'" is a fing dat Border Collies do. Dey hold dere heds down low an off toda side, an' walk quiet-footed, wif dere shoulders hunched up, ready to cut-and-run da minit da cat maks a moob. Anna catz know dis, so dey get as far unnerneaf obba bunny habbytats as dey can possibly get, where da Dawg can't fit to chase them.

So ob course, da Stoopit Cat goes unnerneaf ob Beebe an' Clover's habbytat, an' Beebe hollars out, "YO!" an' lets go wiffa 'normus *thump*. For a widdle guy, he's gotta powerful back feets, an' when he lets fly, poor ol' Clover bounces straight up-inna-air wike she's onna tramp-o-leen.

An' Dadda hollars forda Dawg to "Siddown", which da Dawg does, but he's still watchin' da Stoopit Cat wif his head down an' onna side. An' his eyebrows is goin' back an' forf an' upindown, werkin' obertime, wike mad. Den he just shifts his weight, sodat his paw is offa-ground, an' you just know whut's on his mind.

An' sure enuf, da Stoopit Cat makes a break forda Kitchin, an' wike a rockit, da Dawg is afta her. Da Stoopit Cat whips by between Dadda's legs an' skoots aroun' Maman an' ploughs bang into Cokie who is sittin' hed furst inna grocery bag an' didn't see her comin'.

Two fings I learned:
Number 1.:
Two catz cannot fit innu one grocery bag.
Number 2.:
When Dawgs don't know whut to do, they bark.

So now there issa whole lotta screemin' goin' on inna bag, anna Dawg slides to a stop an' stands ober da grocery bag, barkin' his hed off.

So Dadda hollars, "Dat's IT, damnit!" an slams downna can ob dog-food dat he was unloadin' unnu da Dawg Bowl, an' comes poundin' fru da Bun Room. An' he yanks opin da door toda back gardin an' hollars forda Dawg.

An' wookin' preddy sheepish, da Dawg comes an' paddles outta door.

Den Dadda goes back innu da Kitchin, anna grocery bag is suddenly empty anna catz are patrollin' da Kitchin wike nuffin' happined.

So Dadda gwabs dere bowls an' him anna catz all go uppa stairs togedder.

Den da door slams uppastairs an' Dadda comes back by himself.

An' dat's dat, cossa Catz are shut up inna Office where dey habba Guest Room, Office anna'nudder bafroom all to themselbes forda nite.

Den Dadda opins da door an' back in comes da Dawg, an' dis is when I discobbered dat it was gonna rain!

Becos onna night-breeze dat comes inna door wiffa Dawg, dere comes da smell ob rain!


Yeah! Real rain an' I could smeel dat it was headed our way!

So now, dis mornin', the rain is heer, an' we habba soft, gentle kinda day wif no sun, just pearl-grey skys and silver rain drops.

Kind ob makes you wanna just stretch out an' habba nice, quiet nap.

You know?

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:51 AM EDT
Wednesday, 18 May 2005
Big Trubble!
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Da Catz Did It!
Topic: The Next Generation

Lemme tell you, DIS WAS BAD!

Lastest nite, Maman an' Mouse was inna Sittin' Room watchin' Law-n-Order (which is Mouse's favourite program), an' Dadda was uppystairs inna Office werkin' on his 'puter, an' me an' Missy was sittin' iin our habbytat inna Bun Room ober da cool air vent - yeah.


Do you bemember dat we hadda Heat Vent inna Bun Room, an how Clover an' Beebe an' Mouse all got mad at us cos dey sed Missy an' me were hoggin' alla warm air dat was comin' up outta da speshul Hole-Inna-Floor? Well, I axt Maman abouddit, an' she sed dat Hole-Inna-Floor was sumfing called a "HOT AIR VENT".


Seems dat unner'neaf obba floors in dis Noo Houz dere are dees pafways made outta metal boxes an' dey go innu da "Bazemint" where we bunnies are notta'lowed to go.

Well, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat goed down dere, innu da "Bazemint" (ebbin doh he is tek-nik-lee not 'lowed to go dere eidder, he snuck downnastairs to habba wook, cos Catz is susposed to be sneeky, he sed.). So he wint downnastairs innu da Bazemint an' came back to tell us Bunnies dat dere issa whole other bunch ob rooms (wike 3) down dere, unner'neaf obba whole houz.


An da furst room inna Bazemint hassa big cabinet innit where Maman hassa wotta stuff dat she buys atta mawkit. Cokie says dat dis issa "Pantree" she's allus tawkin' aboud gettin' stuff outta just bifore dinner. He sed it issa rilly big closet an' dere issa wotta stuff innit wike bog roll an' kitchin roll', an stuff in cans, an' stuff in boxes, an' dog food an' cat food, an justa'boud ennyfing else dat Maman needs to run da houz. An also in dis room are alla dek-or-a-shuns for alla HollyDays, all packed in boxes, wif tag onn'em, so Maman won't gedd'em mixt up. An' dere also issa wotta stuff dat Cokie finks pwob'ly goes onna Screened-In-Room dat we habbin't seed yet cos Maman sed it's still a widdle too chilly.

An' dat's dat room.

Den next dere issa'nudder room dat is fulla tools, all lined up onna walls, an in cabinets, an stuff. Cokie sed dis room wooks wike it belongs to Dadda, cos dere are alla tools an' metal boxes ob tools, an assortmints ob nails, an' wires, an screws an' wood, an stuff to make udder stuff. An' inna corner ob dis room dere issa rilly big box dat seems to habba fire inside obbit, anna rilly big, tall round fing wiffa shiney thick blankey around it, dat hassa wotta wadder innit. Anna metal boxes dat Maman sed were "HOT AIR VENTS" come outta da box wiffa fire innit an' dees go innu alla rooms inna houz, an' bring in alla da hot air to Missy an me. Cokie sed dis big box wiffa fire inside is called da "Fur-nace".

An den dere issa Fird Room, which issa biggest room ob alla da rooms inna Bazemint. An' in dis room dere issa speshul drawin' tabul, wif berry fancy tools hung ober it, anna wotta shelbs wif a wotta buks, anna wotta speshul papers wif pikchurs ob berry complykated-wookin' ships, an' trains an' hareplanes. An' dere are bunches ob cabinets wif hareplanes innn'em all lined up, all aroundda room. An' inna'nudder speshul cabinet wif glass doors an' lights inside, dere are dees ships wif tiny ropes wike spider's webs, an' widdle tiny cannons, an' widdle brass plates dat say fings wike "Fair American", an' "Providence" an' "HMS Victory".

An' you know whut else Cokie sed was down inna Bazemint? A whole railroad dat takes up half obba whole room!. Yeah! Anna railroad has tracks an' trains, an' widdle houzes, stores, an' farms, an' ebberyfing!

Budda trains an' all is berry widdle. Cokie says nobunny can ride on'em, not ebben Beebe or Mr Mouse, or ebben a gimmie-pig, or ebben a reel mousey or rattie, onna'count ob dees trains is rilly dat small, but dat dere issa whole widdle werld dat goes wiff'em, wif widdle shops an' widdle stores, an' widdle houzes, an' widdle cowz an' horzes, anna preddy big stashun (which is wike a big houze, only not big enuf to lib in) anna tuggin' boat dat is stuck in sum kinda stuff dat wooks a wot wike wadder, bud it's not.

An' Cokie sed dere are ebben mountains down dere datta train can go fru! Alla stuff is small, wike ebberyfing is for some rilly widdle hoomins. He says it's weird, wike dere issa whole werld down dere, a whole werld almost, wif nobunny libbin' innit, just trains, trains an' more trains!

An Cokie says datta whole room smells ob Maman's Dadda who we called "Bim". It's da same Bim dat singed us da "Spring Song" dat Belinda teached me, dat we sunged as soon as Winter was ober. Da same Bim who went toda Bridge bifore Belinda or Poet or Hunny. Cokie sed datta whole big room an alla stuff innit smells ob Bim an' ob Phil-da-Lad!

Isn't dat strange?

An whut is also strange is dat our Heat Vent inna Bun Room issn't blowin' warm air frumma Fur-ness inna Bazemint ennymore, eidder!

Now it's blowin COLD air! Can you beleeb it? It's blowin' cold air just wike da Air Condishywasher inna Old Bun Room inna Old Houz where we usta lib.

An' Zachary-Marcus, da Dawg, sed dat dere issa Big Round Fing just ober da fence in his Gardin dat goes off an' on, dat makes a hummin' noise on warm days. He says dat when dat Big Round Fing is hummin', dat's whin dere is cold air blowin' fru dees vents dat usta hab hot air blowin' fru dem.

I'm tellin' you, dere issa WOT to learn aboudda Noo Houz!

But as to whut happined wast nite an' howda Catz got inna whole lotta trubble...


Wike I sed, Maman an' Mouse was inna Sittin' Room, sittin' an' watchin' "Law-N-Order", an' Dadda was werkin' uppastairs on his 'puter in his Just-in-CAD Office, an' Missy an' I were inna Bun Room sittin' ober da vent dat was blowin' COLD air...

When alla'suddin, dere wassa TERRIBUL CRASH!

An' Dadda stawted yellin', an' Maman comed scurryin' outta da Sittin' Room, an dere's Mouse, holdin onta her good shoulder for deer life, wif his widdle ears bobbin' up-an-down ober her shoulder as she's climbin' uppastairs.

Well, Mouse sed dat whin dey got uppastairs, it was RILLY BAD!

Da Dawg was grovlin' at Dadda's feets, tryin' to squirm his way up Dadda's pantsweg wiffoud usin' enny paws. (Mouse sed you hadda see dis to beleeb it.) Anna Catz were bof tryin' to fit unneaf obba settee, only Cokie's butt was too big, so dere wassa wotta him still hangin' out, while his claws were all in four-wheel ober-dribe.

An' dere onna floor, nextest to Maman's desk was wunna dose ships wike was inna speshul cabinet wiffa lights in, inna Bazemint dat smelled wike Bim an' Phil-da-Lad. An' just wike does ships inna speshul cabinet inna Bazemint, dis ship had slender sticks for masts an' widdle skinny threads wike spider webs for ropes, an' widdle cannons all tied down onna planked deck wif widdle knots tied inn'em, an' ebbery detail just perfekt - only dis poor ship was in bits!

Mouse sed dat Maman just stared atta ship, while Dadda was 'splainin' datta Dawg had chased da Stoopit Cat up onta da shelb, an' she had tried to jump ober to Maman's desk an' missed, an' dat she had knocked ober da ship an' it had falled onna floor an' braked bifore Dadda could ebben ged outta his chair to catch it or hollar atta catz an' Dawg to "Stoppit".

An' Dadda was berry sad.

He sed he culd fix mostest fings, but dat fixin' dis poor ship was "Beyond him." An' he said dat mebbe they shuld waid for Phil to come frum Mary-wand, becos mebbe Bim had teached him aboudda ships, just wike he had teached him aboudda trains anna hareplanes...

But Maman didn't say ennyfing, Mouse sed. He sed she handed him ober to Dadda an' got down on her knees an' piked uppa brokin' ship an' set it in her lap. An' den she sat dere, holdin' da ship inn'er lap, sorta pokin' atta brokin' bits.

An' she said datta ship was named "Kersage", an' she listed alla ropes wike spider's webs dat was damaged, an named alla masts an' stuff, cos she issa 'storian an' it's pawt ob her business to know alla dat stuff.

An' she told Dadda how her Dadda, Bim, wiked to build da ships, but her pwace inna werld wasta know alla'bout'em, an' dat's how she an' Bim were: he did stuff an' she knowed alla background to whut he did. He stood in frunt ob pebble an' teached an' she stayed inna background, geddin' alla infortymashin for him. He presented stuff, an' she did alla lookin' stuff up for him. He published an' she wooked up alla fakts.

Maman sed it wassa good system.

But she sed dat mebbe dey wuldn't hafta wait for Phil to come to fix da ship afta all.

Becos ob alla years dat she spent inna background, she'd learned a wotta stuff dat nobun wuld hab thought, an' mebbe it was time for her to stawt doin' fings on her own, fora change.

So Maman putta "Kersage" on her desk, wif it's brokin masts an all, an she told da Dawg it was hokay, an' got Mouse back frum Dadda so Dadda culd see whut he culd do aboud gettin' Cokie's butt unstuck frum unner'neaf obba settee - an' don't'cha know Cokie was so upset by alla comoshun dat he hadda fit obba *horks* an' Dadda hadda spend some time pettin' him, so he wuld calm down an stop *horkin'*, but Cokie wuldn't stop *horkin'*, ob course, until Dadda went an' godda kitty tweat-box, an' den Cokie quit *horkin'*.

An' dat's da Big Trubble dat happined heer wast nite.

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 9:10 AM EDT

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