Now Playing: Self-Improobmint
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, afta messin' up wif my spellin' an' (I meen, AND) doin' a few udder, totally stoopit fings (dat are preddy embarrassin'), I hab decided that I need to improob my grasp onna ENGLISH LANGUAGE. It's not that I don't know how to type bedda, it's just dat, afta awhile, I tend to gedda'widdle lazy, you know, an', (I mean,AND) let myself slip more AND more innu sloppy slang tawk.
Now Clover says dat dis is normal wif most youngbuns, but den I am getting on towards TWO YEARS OLD, and I can reasonably be hextpected to know howta spell preddy good, and howta use bigger and bedder werds. If I'm gonna grow 'Tellygint, I hab gotta start to show it.
And that begins wif the propa use ob Language.
"How a bunny speaks is how he is known." Hunny sed.
So it is impawtant for me, who is typing dis Blog for Hoomins to read, to put my best paw forward. Because the last fing I want hoomins to fink issat bunnies are stoopit.
Bunnies are not stoopit!
Most ob us can speak at least two languages, and sum ob us can speak and type in more'n dat.
Now, I gotta tell you, dis is not easy.
I speak Lagomorphin as do most udder bunnies, so you gotta bemember that ENGLISH issa sekond language for almost ebberybunny. Whin we type in ENGLISH we tend to type werds the way dat they sound to us whin we hear dem.
Sumtimes we can use a hoomin Spell-Checker to help us spell werds da same way dat ENGLISH-Speaking hoomins do, but sumtimes not. Da hoomin Spell-Checker feetchur doesn't werk berry well whin it hasta werk with Lagomorphin assa base language. (Are you reading dis, Bill Gates?
Belinda Bunny wassa'ware ob dis diffyculty and tried to correct it by creeating a Lagomorphin-based Spell-checker, but she ran outta innerest before she ran outta werds, so dat projeck didn't get too far.
But we bunnies hab bin trying berry hard to 'stablish some regur'lized form ob typing in ENGLISH and I hab to return to using it. No more being lazy and using bunny-slang.
So whut I hab learned so far is dat dere not just one kind ob ENGLISH Language, but several.
Inna beginnin, I thought dere was only wun kinda ENGLISH. Dat was before I was dumped atta V-E-Ts office all OnAlone inna box dat was empty ob ebberyfing except me.
Then, Maman came and picked me up and brought me home to Our Warren where I met Dadda and Maman in their nat'chural habbytats.
And to my sus'prise, Maman and Dadda speaked TWO DIF'FRUNT kinds ob ENGLISH frum the furst one I had learned!
Now, dis was confoozling. So I axted da Top Bun, who was Belinda Bunny, abouddit. She didn't feel berry well that day, so she sed for me to axt Hunny, who wassa Senior Bun inna Our Warren.
Now Hunny wassa berry OLD rabbit. He was wike, 12 yeers old, and fortygetful, and sort ob "not all there", if you know whut I mean. But nice. You culdn't want for a nicer bunny. And you culdn't want for a wiser bunny, eidder.
And Hunny told me datta mawmie inna Our Warren was called "Maman", and that it wassa French werd for "Mother" and he gave our mawmie dat name because he was part French Lop, and dat was how he was taught to call his mawmie, when he wassa kit, menny, menny years ago before he was also dumped and ended up at Our Warren. Anna name has stuck, so our mawmie is named Maman.
And Our Dad is named "Dadda" because Phil-the-Lad named him that more or less by axceedint. You see, Our Dad is Phil-the-Lad's "Stepfadder" and Phil didn't want to call him "Dad" because he said that name had "bad connotations for me." So we wuld heer Phil-da-Lad tawlking to his friends and say, "My StepDad-uh, he, ", so we just dropped da "Step" pawt and kept da "Dad-uh" which became, ober time, Dadda.
Now Dadda comes frumma place dat sounds like it is called INKLAND but is spelled, ENGLAND. Sespifick'ly he comes frumma place dat sounds like it is called Summerset which sounds wike a wunnerful werd for a place to be frum. It beminds me ob birdies singing in trees, anna bloo sky so close dat I culd stand up on my back feets and touch it wiffa paw. Sounds like long, green grass waving inna wind, too, and hills wif lotsa burrows and bright widdle streams winking fru da grass.
And Dadda says a lotta werds dif'frunt frum Maman, and he has werds dat only he uses, dat rilly don't hab meenings to hoomins who don't lib in dis house. He calls whut he speaks "The Queen's ENGLISH", or "Da Countree Di'lect" and dey are two dif'frunt kinds ob ENGLISH language. But bof ob them are dif'frunt frum what Maman sumtimes speaks.
Now Maman issa 'Murrican, but she libbed for awhile inna same ENGLAND as Dadda, but inna dif'frunt place called "Lancashire. This also sounds like a preddy place to be frum. She has told us aboudda stone walls, and sheeps onna hills, and waking up inna cold mornings to hear lambs calling inna fields. She says the wind blows hard through the long grasses on fings called da moors only she says "moors" like "moo-rahs" while Dadda says "mores".
This shuld gib you an idea ob how there are TWO or even THREE KINDS ob ENGLISH going on in our house, inna'dishun toda reg'lar kind of ENGLISH datta normal, A'murrican houserabbit wuld hear.
And den, just whin I thought I hadda handle on alla these kinds ob ENGLISH LANGUAGES, along comes Auntie Paige and Joshua to visit wif us. They live in Australia, which also sounds like anudder beautiful place to be frum, wif Winter onna oppysit side ob our Summer, and annymuls dat you can only dream aboud, like kangaroos and dey habba ocean onna doorstep, and udder fantastik stuff.
And, well, wuldn't'chu know it? Auntie Paige and Joshua speak ENGLISH, too, but it's a whole udder kind ob ENGLISH! And they had werds I had nebber herd before, too, and sum ob them sounded funny to me, and made me laff. She called Beebe a "nutbag", and kept telling him, "Don't try it out!" whin he wuld try to lunge at her. And you know whut? Beebe unnerstood her and didn't try to bite her!
So that's FOUR or FIVE kinds ob ENGLISH I hab lerned. And that doesn't add in whut Phil-the-Lad lerned inna Navy which I am mainly notta'lowed to type because Maman says most ob it is "rude" and not p'lite for youngbuns to lern. (But I wint ahead and lerned it anyhows!)
So that's FIVE or ebben SIX kinds of ENGLISH I'm trying to werk wif heer at Our Warren.
And Language does change, ob course. It never stays the same, but changes as it gets used a lot. I fink da korreckt term is, "Evolves". Mind you, I can't speek dat werd rite onna'kount ob how my toofs are arranged, but I can type it.
But there will be no more "lazy tawking" frum George. I'm gonna do my best to show dat I am becoming a matchur, 'Tellygint housebunny. Ob course, I will still spell werds as I heer them. I'm shure there will be the okayshunal slip-ups whin I slip innu slang, but onna whole, I am gonna try berry hard to write inna unnyform manner so it is easier for hoomins to unnerstan' me.
Becuase that issa whole point of communnykayshun - so that we can unnerstand each udder, and learn to see out thru each udders eyes.
---- By George