The Hay Diaries
14 Dec, 15 > 20 Dec, 15
7 Dec, 15 > 13 Dec, 15
17 Sep, 12 > 23 Sep, 12
10 Sep, 12 > 16 Sep, 12
14 Jun, 10 > 20 Jun, 10
31 May, 10 > 6 Jun, 10
15 Mar, 10 > 21 Mar, 10
1 Feb, 10 > 7 Feb, 10
25 Jan, 10 > 31 Jan, 10
18 Jan, 10 > 24 Jan, 10
11 Jan, 10 > 17 Jan, 10
25 May, 09 > 31 May, 09
4 May, 09 > 10 May, 09
20 Apr, 09 > 26 Apr, 09
13 Apr, 09 > 19 Apr, 09
6 Apr, 09 > 12 Apr, 09
30 Mar, 09 > 5 Apr, 09
23 Mar, 09 > 29 Mar, 09
16 Mar, 09 > 22 Mar, 09
9 Mar, 09 > 15 Mar, 09
2 Mar, 09 > 8 Mar, 09
5 Jan, 09 > 11 Jan, 09
29 Dec, 08 > 4 Jan, 09
1 Dec, 08 > 7 Dec, 08
7 Jul, 08 > 13 Jul, 08
23 Jun, 08 > 29 Jun, 08
9 Jun, 08 > 15 Jun, 08
19 May, 08 > 25 May, 08
12 May, 08 > 18 May, 08
5 May, 08 > 11 May, 08
24 Mar, 08 > 30 Mar, 08
17 Mar, 08 > 23 Mar, 08
10 Mar, 08 > 16 Mar, 08
3 Mar, 08 > 9 Mar, 08
25 Feb, 08 > 2 Mar, 08
18 Feb, 08 > 24 Feb, 08
11 Feb, 08 > 17 Feb, 08
4 Feb, 08 > 10 Feb, 08
28 Jan, 08 > 3 Feb, 08
21 Jan, 08 > 27 Jan, 08
14 Jan, 08 > 20 Jan, 08
17 Dec, 07 > 23 Dec, 07
10 Dec, 07 > 16 Dec, 07
12 Nov, 07 > 18 Nov, 07
5 Nov, 07 > 11 Nov, 07
22 Oct, 07 > 28 Oct, 07
1 Oct, 07 > 7 Oct, 07
27 Aug, 07 > 2 Sep, 07
20 Aug, 07 > 26 Aug, 07
13 Aug, 07 > 19 Aug, 07
6 Aug, 07 > 12 Aug, 07
30 Jul, 07 > 5 Aug, 07
23 Jul, 07 > 29 Jul, 07
9 Jul, 07 > 15 Jul, 07
18 Jun, 07 > 24 Jun, 07
11 Jun, 07 > 17 Jun, 07
28 May, 07 > 3 Jun, 07
21 May, 07 > 27 May, 07
14 May, 07 > 20 May, 07
7 May, 07 > 13 May, 07
30 Apr, 07 > 6 May, 07
16 Apr, 07 > 22 Apr, 07
2 Apr, 07 > 8 Apr, 07
26 Mar, 07 > 1 Apr, 07
19 Mar, 07 > 25 Mar, 07
12 Mar, 07 > 18 Mar, 07
5 Mar, 07 > 11 Mar, 07
26 Feb, 07 > 4 Mar, 07
19 Feb, 07 > 25 Feb, 07
12 Feb, 07 > 18 Feb, 07
15 Jan, 07 > 21 Jan, 07
1 Jan, 07 > 7 Jan, 07
25 Dec, 06 > 31 Dec, 06
18 Dec, 06 > 24 Dec, 06
11 Dec, 06 > 17 Dec, 06
4 Dec, 06 > 10 Dec, 06
20 Nov, 06 > 26 Nov, 06
30 Oct, 06 > 5 Nov, 06
25 Sep, 06 > 1 Oct, 06
18 Sep, 06 > 24 Sep, 06
4 Sep, 06 > 10 Sep, 06
28 Aug, 06 > 3 Sep, 06
21 Aug, 06 > 27 Aug, 06
14 Aug, 06 > 20 Aug, 06
7 Aug, 06 > 13 Aug, 06
31 Jul, 06 > 6 Aug, 06
10 Jul, 06 > 16 Jul, 06
3 Jul, 06 > 9 Jul, 06
26 Jun, 06 > 2 Jul, 06
19 Jun, 06 > 25 Jun, 06
12 Jun, 06 > 18 Jun, 06
5 Jun, 06 > 11 Jun, 06
29 May, 06 > 4 Jun, 06
22 May, 06 > 28 May, 06
15 May, 06 > 21 May, 06
8 May, 06 > 14 May, 06
1 May, 06 > 7 May, 06
24 Apr, 06 > 30 Apr, 06
17 Apr, 06 > 23 Apr, 06
10 Apr, 06 > 16 Apr, 06
6 Mar, 06 > 12 Mar, 06
27 Feb, 06 > 5 Mar, 06
20 Feb, 06 > 26 Feb, 06
13 Feb, 06 > 19 Feb, 06
6 Feb, 06 > 12 Feb, 06
23 Jan, 06 > 29 Jan, 06
9 Jan, 06 > 15 Jan, 06
2 Jan, 06 > 8 Jan, 06
26 Dec, 05 > 1 Jan, 06
12 Dec, 05 > 18 Dec, 05
5 Dec, 05 > 11 Dec, 05
28 Nov, 05 > 4 Dec, 05
14 Nov, 05 > 20 Nov, 05
7 Nov, 05 > 13 Nov, 05
31 Oct, 05 > 6 Nov, 05
24 Oct, 05 > 30 Oct, 05
17 Oct, 05 > 23 Oct, 05
10 Oct, 05 > 16 Oct, 05
3 Oct, 05 > 9 Oct, 05
27 Jun, 05 > 3 Jul, 05
20 Jun, 05 > 26 Jun, 05
13 Jun, 05 > 19 Jun, 05
6 Jun, 05 > 12 Jun, 05
23 May, 05 > 29 May, 05
16 May, 05 > 22 May, 05
11 Apr, 05 > 17 Apr, 05
4 Apr, 05 > 10 Apr, 05
28 Mar, 05 > 3 Apr, 05
21 Mar, 05 > 27 Mar, 05
14 Mar, 05 > 20 Mar, 05
21 Feb, 05 > 27 Feb, 05
14 Feb, 05 > 20 Feb, 05
7 Feb, 05 > 13 Feb, 05
24 Jan, 05 > 30 Jan, 05
17 Jan, 05 > 23 Jan, 05
10 Jan, 05 > 16 Jan, 05
29 Nov, 04 > 5 Dec, 04
22 Nov, 04 > 28 Nov, 04
15 Nov, 04 > 21 Nov, 04
11 Oct, 04 > 17 Oct, 04
20 Sep, 04 > 26 Sep, 04
13 Sep, 04 > 19 Sep, 04
30 Aug, 04 > 5 Sep, 04
23 Aug, 04 > 29 Aug, 04
16 Aug, 04 > 22 Aug, 04
9 Aug, 04 > 15 Aug, 04
2 Aug, 04 > 8 Aug, 04
26 Jul, 04 > 1 Aug, 04
19 Jul, 04 > 25 Jul, 04
5 Jul, 04 > 11 Jul, 04
28 Jun, 04 > 4 Jul, 04
21 Jun, 04 > 27 Jun, 04
14 Jun, 04 > 20 Jun, 04
7 Jun, 04 > 13 Jun, 04
31 May, 04 > 6 Jun, 04
24 May, 04 > 30 May, 04
17 May, 04 > 23 May, 04
10 May, 04 > 16 May, 04
3 May, 04 > 9 May, 04
26 Apr, 04 > 2 May, 04
19 Apr, 04 > 25 Apr, 04
12 Apr, 04 > 18 Apr, 04
29 Mar, 04 > 4 Apr, 04
22 Mar, 04 > 28 Mar, 04
15 Mar, 04 > 21 Mar, 04
8 Mar, 04 > 14 Mar, 04
1 Mar, 04 > 7 Mar, 04
23 Feb, 04 > 29 Feb, 04
16 Feb, 04 > 22 Feb, 04
9 Feb, 04 > 15 Feb, 04
2 Feb, 04 > 8 Feb, 04
26 Jan, 04 > 1 Feb, 04
19 Jan, 04 > 25 Jan, 04
12 Jan, 04 > 18 Jan, 04
5 Jan, 04 > 11 Jan, 04
29 Dec, 03 > 4 Jan, 04
You are not logged in. Log in
Entries by Topic
All topics  «
Da Lore
Lagomorphin Enterprises
Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Me 'n' Mouse
Movin' On!
Our Warren, 2006
The Next Generation
The Third Gennyrayshun
Blog Tools
Edit your Blog
Build a Blog
View Profile
Friday, 7 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 7
Now Playing: EbberyBunny's Nutz
Topic: The Next Generation

Well, Clover's Lotterry Numburs were aboud as far away frumma Numburs onna TeeBee as you can ged wiffoud goin' to unudder country. Mebbe tinite's da nite wike Dadda sed, or mebbe it rilly is all a wotta "ah-doh aboud nuffin" as Maman suspeks.

Auntie Irene an' Dadda are preddy shure Maman's atty'tude is gonna mess dis "Lotterry" fing all up.

Well, Auntie Irene is preddy shure it is. Onna udder paw,Dadda nebber feels dere culd be ennyfing wrong wif Maman onna'count ob she is perfeck.

Auntie Irene says she suspeks Dadda is de-loo-ded. But I gotta bemind you dat Auntie Irene is sympafetik to catz, too, which kinda makes her a widdle suspeck inna wong run.

So dere you are.

Well, yestidday, Maman gotted a noo cattylog frum wunna dose stores where she orders stuff to wear. She seems to wike dis store cos it has nice coats an' NONE OB DERE COATS EBBER HAS ANNYMUL FUR ON'EM! If dere is "fur" dekkyrayshuns onna coats, dey is faux fur which Maman says issa onwy kinda "fur" ennybunny shuld be wearin' cos it is not sumbunny else's fur, but fur dat is made outta "syn-thet-tick matt-terry-als" which means dat it issn' reel fur, but made outta cloth, which is hokay.

Maman an' Dadda bof beelieeb dat fur bewongs on it's original owner an' not on ennybunny else!

So Maman seed dis coat in dat she wants in dis cattylog. An' she showed it to Dadda. An' Dadda sed it was nice, so Maman shuld ged it.

An' Maman sed, "No."

Now I can't figger dis out. She hassint buyed a coat inna wong time, an' she don't got much fur ob her own, 'cept on her head where it is onwy long, not 'speshully fick an' she is allus compwainin' aboud how she is cold.

So why does she show Dadda a coat she wantsta buy, dat she told me she wikes, an' den, afta Dadda says to buy it, she says, "No."?

I meen, wook attit dis way. MissyBun wikes raisins. You offer her sum raisins an' she don't say, "No" - she bounces all ober me, twyin' to ged her hed innu da bowl bifore I can ged a look-in. Ebben doh we ged raisins ebbery nite, she still wants alla dem. She don't say, "Oh, yeah, I want raisins!" an' den she baks away whin dey is gibben to her. Notta chance! Nope, she is rite in dere, shubbin' me outta da way so she can eat dem all by herself.

Now dis is troo wobunly beehabyour.

I find Maman berry perplexin'. Not to menshun not-too-brite, but Belinda allus sed dat dere was sumfing wrong wif Maman. Nuffin' sewious, just "sumfing", you know?

Ennyways, heer we are dis mawnin' wif Maman geddin' up early again wif Dadda, anna man is comin' to fix da tall clock inna Libbin' Room.

Now nobun is 'lowed innu da Libbin' Room, or "Lounge" as Dadda calls it. Catz, da Dawg an hoomins kin walk fru on dere way to sumwheres else, but unwess dey is "compiny" dey cann't sit on enny obba chairs, or wook at enny obba nice fings in dere. If Phil-da-lad is bein' good, he is 'lowed to pway wunna da pie-an-os an' make musicks, but dat's aboud it so far assa Libbin' Room goes.

So Maman is habbin sum guy come to fix da tall clock in dere, cos it doesn't werk.

Well, my qwetshun is dis: if nobun is 'lowed innu da Libbin' Room, den why does dere habba be a clock werkin' in dere?

Maman says datta clock is susposed to pway musicks an' "chime". But we gots Phil to do da musicks fing whin he comes heer, so whut's da point? We're gonna habba clock dat pways musicks inna room dat nobunny visits.

Whutta noos-flash.

Dadda sed iffa bloody fing ticks too loud, he's gonna hab to turn it off.

Well, dat's useful, too.

So Maman will ged da tall clock fixt, an' Dadda will turn it off.

An' Dadda is stoppin' by da Pet Store to ged us some more "Yesterdays News" litter for our litter-boxes. Mouse says it's aboud time. But Mouse is all cheesed off cos Dadda made him ged back in his habbytat yestidday afta Auntie Irene came.

Mouse wantsta be "Free Range Mouse", ebben doh he weighs 4 pounds.

I meen, wet's face it: Mouse weighs 4 pounds, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat weighs 39 pounds; Beep-da-Cat weighs 14 pounds anna Dawg weighs 55 pounds. Inna You-Sit-Onnit Contest, who is gonna loose here?

Maman keeps tellin' Mouse dat alla Dawg hasta do is ged PO'ed onct, an' it will be all ober for Mouse - an' DIS is why he is NOT "Free Range Mouse".

But Mouse is cheesed off ennyways an' gruntin'.

So dis is wunna dem "Contrary Days" at Our Warren when ebberyfing is goin' on an' nuffin' makes enny sense.

Mebbe it's cos it's gonna rain heer soon.

Furst time inna wong time, it's gonna rain. I know, cos I kin smell it whin Maman opined da door to wet da Dawg go out innu da Gardin dis mawnin.

An' don'cha know, she's dere yellin' at him not to pee onna minnyatchur rose bushes? You know, wike dere not gonna ged good an' soaked waiter on, what wif alla wadder I kin smell inna air dat's gonna come down soon as rain.

But dat's hoomins for you. Dey habbin't godda cloo.

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:41 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, 6 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 6
Now Playing: Why I Am Wate
Topic: The Next Generation

Whoa, I am wate gettin' to my blog tiday!

It was just wun fing afta anudder, but mostwy, it was onna'count ob Auntie Irene comin' to visit us wif pieces ob paper.

Well, furst Maman hadda cwean uppa house cos Auntie Irene was comin' to ged her Hareware Hurrican Relief Pin.

You do know 'boud Hareware rite? Dat's a compiny in Callyfornia dat pwoduces da most bee-yoo-tiy-full pottery inna werld, an' tee-shirts an' pins dat were made speshul forda Relief effort forda Animal Victims ob Hurrycane Katrina. Alla munny collected wint to Noah's Wish which issa speshul gwoup ob hoomins who rescue pets who ged caught in disasters. Good hoomins who care!

You kin go toda Hareware web-site by goin' to:Hareware and also pwease see: for udder gweat fings from da same wunnerful hoomins & bunnies!

So ennyways, Auntie Irene commed ober, an' she stayed for awhile, but you know whut happined? An' I'm tellin' you, you won't believe dis whin I tell you whut happined, but I'm gonna tell you ennyways, cos it's preddy amazin'.

Auntie Irene is wookin' aroun' da Bun Room, an' she says to Maman,

"Wookit whut I gots!"

An' she shows Maman sum pieces ob paper.

An' Maman goes, "Ooooooh!"

An' Auntie Irene axts, "Which wunna your bunnies issa wucky bunny dats gots wucky feets?"

An' I'm wike all ears, cos I'm da bunny who wint to Church an' got blessed an' ebberyfing. So you'd fink I'm preddy wucky, you know?

But Maman says, "Well, I dunno, dere is Mouse. He watches 'Law & Order'."

An' Auntie Irene wooks at Mouse an' Mouse grunts, so you know dat's pretty much obba Not-Gonna-Happin-Kinda-Fing, cos Auntie issa Cat-Perzon an' is allus afraid dat she is gonna smoosh a bunny if she twies to pik wun up or sumfing. An' Mouse issn' da most "user-fwiendly" bunny in Our Warren.

So Maman goes on, "An' dere's Missy an' George."

An' Auntie Irene wooks at us an' (you won't beleeb it!) Shakes...Her...Hed!

Well, you know, at furst I sorta felt a widdle bad, bud Maman was pattin' me, so it wasn't wike I was bein' rejeckted or ennyfing, so I didn't mind so much as I fought I wuld. Not whin I seed whut happined nextest, ennyways.

Cos den Auntie Irene hassa wook at Clover anna Beeb. An' her eyes god big an' she s'claims,

"Dat's it! Dat's da wucky bunny!"

An' she's pointin' at Clover!

Clover! Who hardly nebber says ennyfing, an' cweans up afta Beebe-bunny - she's da WUCKY bunny in Our Warren?

You godda be kiddin' me.

But, nope, it's Clover.

So Dadda opins uppa habbytat an' hauls out big, ol' MsClover, an' Auntie Irene opins up da bits ob paper an' stawts rubbin' da papers on Clover's feets.

An' I'm ober heer finkin', Whutdaheck?

An' Clover's wookin' at MissyBun wike, "Ack! Whuttaheck?"

An' Missy's wookin' back at Clover wike, "Howdaheck do I know?"

An' Beeb is inna habbytat bouncin' up-an-down an' gruntin' cos he hates it whin Dadda piks up Clover, or ebben touches Clover, cos Clover is his wommin, an' nobun is sus'posed to ebben wook att'er wiffoud his permisshun.

An' ob course, Mouse is gruntin', cos dat's whut he does.

An' den Auntie Irene folds uppa bits ob paper an' scritches Clover's ears an' makes a big fuss ob her. An' den she says to Maman,

"Well, you bemember whin Palmer usta always lie onna Lotterry Tikits, an' dey allus won? Well, Jeremiah Winslow is world's laziest cat an' he won't lie on dem, an' da tikits allus lose. So I've decided that bunnies' feets are wucky. An' I thought, Charlotte has bunnies, so I wuld come ober heer an' see which wassa wuckiest bunny she had. An' heer you hab a very wucky bunny!"

An' Maman says, "Well, bunnies' feet are only wucky whin dey are still attached toda rabbit, you know."

An' Auntie Irene, who volunteers wif sumfing called Alley-Cat Allies an' issa annymul lubber wike Maman an' Dadda (ebben if she does wike catz) says to Maman,

"Well, of course! Dat's da onliest kind ob bunny feets as far as I'm concerned!"

So tinite, we habba tune innu sum pwogwam onna TeeBee dat issn' "Law & Order" to see if Auntie Irene's tikits dat was rubbed on Clover's feets is rilly wucky afta all.

Mouse is gonna hate dis.

An' if not tinite, den tomorry nite.

Mouse is gonna hate dat ebben more, speshully ifits whin "Law & Order" is sus'posed to be on.

Maman says it wuld be rilly cool if dis "Lotterry" fing werks, but she don't belieb in dat stuff. Dadda says dat much stwanger fings hab happined, an' he beminded her ob whut her Granddaddy usta say:

"Dere are more fings in Hebben an' on Earth den we hab ebber dreampt or prayed for."

Which, whin you fink aboud it, leebs a whole wotta stuff to happin, Clover's feets bein' preddy much da weast ob fings.

So dat was preddy much whut happined tiday, an' why I am so wate in postin' my entry inna Blog.

I guess we shuld all be rubbin' our feets heer, so I'll get down to it an' see if dis "lotterry" fing werks out.

Whutebber a "lotterry" is.

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 6:37 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 5 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day Numbur 5
Now Playing: Bunny Eekonomiks
Topic: The Next Generation

Stay wif me, I'll ged dis Numburin' Systim werked out the way I wantit preddy soon. It's gonna take a few hext'perimints, but I'll get dere. It wike Belinda sed, "Ebberyfings a learnin' hext'perience. Ifit don' werk wun way, shub it harder."

I'm not shure aboudda sekond pawt ob dat adbice, but you nebber know - Belinda libbed to be a berry old bunny an' she wassa Top Bun in Our Warren, so she knowed a wotta stuff an' wassa Berry 'Tellygint Bunny, so she mite turn out to be rite.

Den again, although she wuld nebber say it, Hunny sed dat dere had been times whin she was not quite rite aboud ebberyfing, which didn' meen dat she was hext'actly wrong, but she wasn' hext'actly rite eidder.

An' Hunny wassa Berry 'Tellygint Bunny, too, an' he libbed to be ebben much older den Belinda, which is rilly sumfing sheshul. Dey writed Hunny up inna medikul buks, he was dat old.

So I hab growed up wif two berry 'pressib bunnies an' hab sum big foots to fill, you know?

Ennyways, Maman an' I was wookin' atta adverts (dats whut Maman calls 'em) onna fing onna 'puter called "E-Bay". Maman is wookin' to buy anudder 'cello, which issa big fing dat libs inna corner obba Study wiffa Musik Buks an' stuff inna big, grey box wif lox on. She told me datta 'cello pways musik, but I habbin't heered it, so I don' know. Ennyways, she wants a noo "praktis" wun cos I don' know why. Mebbe da wun dat libs heer allreddy don' praktis ennymore or sumfing. I dunno.

So we were wookin', an' Maman finded sumfing else an' dis is it:

You can go to se it too. It issa "Buuny Fart Inna Bottle."

Dat's whut Maman readed out to me.


Sum guy in Wolverhampton, Inkwand, is sellin' a bunny fart inna bottle an' 3 hoomins (I guess dey are hoomins, cos bunnies aren't gonna buy farts whin dey can do their own, you know?) hab bid on dat itim allreddy! Anna guy sed he'll ebben add inna pikchur ob his bunny to proob dat da fart-inna-bottle is reel. And he'll ship da bottle wiffa fart innit toda States, too. (What, we don't gotta'nuf ob our own or sumfing?)

Ennyways, dat's whut Maman an' I founded dis mawnin' on E-Bay.

So I'm finkin', you know, dat bunny poo is rilly good for gwowin' roses. Dis is troo cos Dadda sed so, an' ebbin Maman, who can't gwow a gardin to sabe her wife an' can kill pwants just by wookin' att'em, says it is troo dat bunny pooties are good forda Gardin.

Now if bunny pooties are so good for roses, howcome nobun is sellin' pooties on E-Bay? I meen, wookit, here's sum guy in Wolverhampton sellin' bunny farts inna bottle. An' ebben ifit issa'tracktib bottle (he says dat it is, but to be honest, it wooks preddy much wike enny udder bottle to me frumma pikchur he pwobides) still, what's da use obba fart?

Whut'cha need are pooties!


Putt'em inna'tracktib bottles, an' sell'em on E-Bay as good for roses.

Dis is how bunnies can make munny an' become financhally innypendant ob hoomins!

You see, Hawthorn Bunny was rite whin he sed dat we habba corner da mawkit on pooties. Cos onwy bunnies can pwoduce dem, so onwy bunnies shuld exploit dem.

An' we'd bedder hurry, cos sum wisebutt ober in Woverhampton is allreaddy exploitin' his bunny's farts. It won't be wong 'til he geds aroun' to exploitin' da bottom obba bun's own, personal pootie box!

---- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 1:52 PM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 5 October 2005 3:05 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, 4 October 2005
George's 10th Strand, Day 4
Now Playing: Geddin' A Sekond Chance
Topic: The Next Generation

Belinda hadda systim for keepin' her Blog an' I discobbered dat I gots enny Systim.

Dat is, I didn't hab wun 'til I tawked to MsClover 'boud'it.

MsCloverBun, who issa wife-bun to Beebe-Bunny!!, pointed alla dis out to me wast nite. Ms Clover is wun berry organnyized bunny.

Maman calls her da "Hausfrau" bunny cos she is allus cleanin up her an' Beebe's habbytat. Ebbery mawnin', she hassa pile ob picked-fru hay for Maman to fro out, an' she has pushed da wadder anna food crocks to be filled uppa'gin. She is mostwy a tidy bunny, bud dis is cos she hasta be, cos she is bun-wife to Beebe, who issa mostwy disorgannyized bunny who mostwy onwy runs aroun' shoutin' "YO!" an' bitin' ebbery hand dat comes innu da habbytat.

An' Beebe runs aroun' a wot, shoutin' "YO!" an' bitin' cossa poor old guy spint da beginnin' ob his life assa "Skool Bunny" inna fish tank inna classroom fulla kids who didn' care aboud him much, inna skool in Phillydelphia inna pwace called Pencilvaneya.

3 yeers spint libbin' inna fish tank wif widdle hoomins tappin' onna gwass, an' shubbin' stuff atcha fru da wire on top, an' pokin' you, an' gibbin you all kinds ob rubbish to eat, wif nowhere's to hide, an' nuffin' to see an' nobun to rilly lub you is no way to stawt your life, lemme tell you.

So finally a teecher gotted him outta dat pwace an' taked him to sum hoomins who were kind, but who didn' habba cloo aboud' takin' care obba bunny. So Maman an' Dadda hadda dribe alla way to sumpwace called "Marywand" (which is where Phil-da-lad libs now) to rescue Beeb frum dat sitcheeayshun, too, but dat wassa wong time ago bifore I was 'dopted innu Our Warren.

But ebben so, Beeb has nebber gotted ober his horrybul stawt in life an' is still nuts.

Dis issa sad fakt for menny bunnies: dey get a bad stawt in Life cos ob hoomin stoopidity an' neglect - wike Beebe - an' dey nebber, ebber are able to ged ober it. It stays wif dem, an' dey are da biters, da fearful ones, da bunnies dat end up libbin' in shelters, who nebber ged 'dopted cos dere 'spirences wif hoomins hab been SO berry bad dat dey can't fortyged it.

So dees bunnies areda ones who don't come forward atta shelters whin hoomins are wookin' fora bunny to 'dopt, an' dey cower inna backs ob der cages atta shelters, an' dey are nebber 'dopted innu lubbin' homes! Dees areda bunnies who Nebber Gedda Sekond Chance at habbin' a good life wiffa GOOD hoomin.

An' all too oftin, at sum shelters dat hab no room cos ob MORE STOOPIT HOOMINS, a tag gets put on der cage dat says "Un-adoptable" an' dees poor bunnies are killed.

All because hoomins were mean to dem inna beginnin' an dey were nebbber able to ged ober it.

It's not da bunny's fault dat dey are afraid an' skeert an "un-adoptable"! But dey is kilt ennyways, cos dey are not "friendly" an' "'doptable".

An' hoomins who meet him wonder whuttsamatta wif Beebe. Well. We know whuttsamatta wif Beebe, but it don' matta to us at Our Warren. We just take care ob him an' tweat him kindwy, Maman says, cos sumwheres in his widdle hed, he knows he is lubbed, an' lubs us bak.

Bud MsClover hasta be berry organnyized wif him. She wets him hab raisins, an' den she pushes him outta da crock so she kin hab sum an' he don' ged sik frum eatin' too much sugar. An' she makes sure dat he gwooms her an' she holds him down so she can keep him tidy, too.

All in all, she has him in good shape, cos his whites are nice an' white an' ebben if his widdle uppy ears which usta be bwack are fadin' to grey, dey are a cwean grey, you know? Just wike da rings aroun' his widdle eyes. Da rings usta be bwack, too, but now dey are grey, an' dat's why Maman an' Dr. Sharin, da V-E-T, fink dat Beebe is older den dey fought at furst. Beebe is pwobably wike nine or ten years old, an' his wong wife can "pwob'ly be 'tributed", Dr. Sharin an' Maman sed, to alla good care he gots frum his bun-wife, MsClover.

So ennyways, MsClover telled me 'bout how Belinda had dis Blog-fing all organnyized, dat ebbery 30 days or so, Belinda would add a "strand" ob "hay" to her "diary". Cos Belinda sed datta diary is wike a bale ob hay, dat it is untidy wike a bale ob hay, an' it has menny strands wike a bale ob hay, an' it seems to wander all ober da pwace, wike hay outta a bale wanders all ober da house by itself (If you hab ebber hadda bale ob hay yourself, you know whut I'm tawkin' aboud!) an' dat it takes about 30 days fora strand ob hay to werk its way frumma Bun Room alla 'round da houz, back toda Bun Room agin.

Belinda wassa berry clebber bunny, but dis is onna'count obba fakt dat she wassa Inkwish Spot Bunny an' Maman says dat Inkwish Spots are berry "Project Oriented Bunnies" (whutebber dat meens).

So afta MsClover told me alla dis, I fought to myself dat Belinda hadda preddy good idee goin' an' dat I wuld try keepin' it up. So I wooked ober Belinda's Entries in dis The Hay Diaries an' I decided dat I wuld begin my own systim ob numberin' da strands.

In udder werds, I was gonna Gedda Sekond Chance at dis "Systim Fing".

So here goes. Yeah.

Now 'cordin' to Maman's 'puter calander, dis monf ob "October" issa 10th monf obba hoomin yeer. Rabbits don't hab months, we hab Seasons an' dey hab names, not numbers, but I'm not gonna bother you wif alla dat heer. Lagomorphin Cultchur is just dif'frunt, an' I don' 'spect ebberybun to ged it rite off, much wess 'spect me to 'splain it all an' ged it rite. So I'm just gonna go wiffa hoomin monfs, an' gib dem numbers, since numbers seem to make fings easier for hoomins ennyways.

So does dis make sense? Dis is my 10th Strand ob Belinda's Blog, which is called The Hay Diaries, an' dis is da Number Four Day ob dis 10th Strand.

If you don't geddit, don' werry. Just keep readin' an' I'll keep postin' an' we'll ged fru dis, sumhow.

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:28 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 3 October 2005
The Blessing of the Animals (II) 3 Oct 05
Now Playing: What I Seed at St. Luke's
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, I gotta tell you 'bout bein' a Church Bunny at St. Luke's cos yestidday, atta Blessing Obba Annymuls, I was one forda Furst Time! An' lemme tell you, it was sumfing amazin'!

I meen, I hab nebber been da Church Bunny, but I hab heered aboudd'it, mostwy frum Hunny, who was Our Warren's Berry Furst Church Bunny.

So da Furst Church Bunny in Our Warren was Hunny an' he sed he got to be it by akkydint. He told me dat he didn' set out to beda Church Bunny or ennyfing, dat he was just dere in his habbytat, mindin' his own biznez bein' Top Bun, habbin' tweats, amblin aroun' an' checkin' his butt (dis is whut he sed) an' suddinly, Maman had dis wady ober for whutta hoomins call "tea".

Now frum whut I kin unnerstan, "tea" issa komplykated biznez inbolbing food an' tawkin'. Dere issa whole wotta tawkin', speshully if da wady-hoomins is good friends. An' Hunny sed dis wady who comed ober toda house wassa friend ob Maman's an' she hadda Pwoblem.

She hadda go visit sum sik childrens who didn't tawk in Inkwish, an dey were berry, berry sik in sum hoomin hospiddle far away. Anna wady (whose name wassa ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay, just so you know) didn't know whuttaheck she was gonna say toda childrens whin she gotted toda hospiddle dat culd make dem feel bedda cos she didn' know how to speak in dere wanguage.

So Maman seggested takin' dem a plush toy bunny to each childer, anna wetter typed by a bunny - cos bunnies don't speak in Inkwish assa Furst Wanguage, eidder. Da ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay wiked dat idee, an' so Maman buyed a coupula big plush bunnies, an' she an' Hunny togedder typed uppa wetter frum him, anna ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay gotted sum bunny colourin' buks an' crayons (dees are sticks ob wax dat hab colours. Dey are not gud to eet.) An' in his wetter, Hunny typed aboud bein' inna Warren, an' how bunnies nebber leeb each udder OnAlone, but allus do ebberyfing alla us togedder inna Warren. He told me dat he sed dat St. Luke's Church was kinda wika warren in dat way, too - allus doin' fings alla us togedder, an' not leebin' each udder OnAlone. He sed dat he was hopin' atta time dat hoomin childer wuld be wike rabbit childer an' just wanta know dat ebberybunny was finkin' obb'em.


An so (Hunny telled me) ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay wint uppa dat hospiddle an' seed da childrens an' dey got bedder.

Den comed Easter, an' ReveranDoktorV'GinnySheay axt Hunny to come to St.Luke's to sooperbise da Easter Egg Hunt. So Hunny was wike, "Well, whuttaheck, why not?" So Maman putted on his harness, an he sat in his baskit, an wint to St. Luke's. An' while he was dere, he got Blessed.

For no rezon. He sed he just was there, sittin' in his baskit an' he was Blessed an' it wasn't ebben Da Blessin' Obba Annymuls or nothin', just dat he was dere an' ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay gibbed him a Blessin'. An' it was for ALL ob Our Warren (which in dose days was onwy Hunny, Maggie, Heatherington, Willow an' Belinda).

So dat was how Hunny got innu da habit ob goin' to St. Luke's for Easter.

An' den, Hunny sed, Maman rescued a bunny named "Smokey" an' he wassa BIG bunny, an' he usta go to St. Luke's onna Sunday named "Penntycost" an' he got to wear a big red bow on his baskit. Anna wotta hoomins usta wook forwards to pettin' him, cos he was berry kind, an slow, an' patient. Maman says she is sowwy dat she don't hab piccies ob him, cos she sed he wassa beyoutifull bunny.

An' den, Smokey got berry sik, an ebben doh he wint toda V-E-T's an' all, he weft us forda Rainbow Bridge.

But Hunny kept on goin' to Church at St. Luke's.

An' den, Maman 'dopted Hawthorn. Den Belinda 'dopted Hawthorn for her husbun.

Bud Hunny was geddin' older an' older an' he didn' wike bein' in his baskit, an' bein' in Church at St. Luke's too much. He wiked sittin' in ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay's arms an' crawlin' up her sleebs, an' gettin' pets, but he gots bored durin' da tawky pawts, an' wanted down durin' da singin', an' he was just all ober da pwace (Belinda told me dis pawt obba Church Bunny Stowy).

At Maman an' Dadda's weddin, doh, he stood up to get pets frumma ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay, an' tried to crawl up her sleebs, an' he nipped Phil an' sat onna weddin' rings an' wuldn't gib dem to Phil to gib toda ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay, an' wike I sed, he nipped Phil a good'un whin he went diggin unnerneaf ob Hunny's butt to ged da rings, so dat was pretty much da end ob Hunny bein' Church Bunny cos wike Maman told him, "You can't be nippin' at peebles, Hunny."

An' Hunny sed, "Bugger dat. Dat wassn' 'peebles', it was Phil an' dat was my butt!"

But Belinda sed ebberybunny culd preddy much see dat Maman had Made Up Her Mind an' ebberybunny knows dere is no changin' dat.

So Hawthorn stawted goin' to Church at St. Luke's.

Now da fing aboud Hawthorn (an' dis is whut Hunny sed) was dat he was berry small, berry white, berry portable an' he didn' mind nothin'(not ebben Belinda, which was pretty much wike bein' able to ignore a 'ruptin' volcan whin you is sittin' onit, Hunny sed.). Whut none obba hoomins reelized was dat Hawthorn, bein' a blue-eyed white bunny, was dat he was deef. He culdn't hear. His ears didn' werk, which is why he culd ged away wif not mindin' Belinda. He axtchually didn't heer her tawkin' most obba time she wassa'wake.

Hunny sed Hawthorn deserbed da Order Obba Crossed Carrots Wif Parsley Wreath for puddin' up wif dat gurl-bun, but Belinda sed Hawthorn wassa bestest husbun inna Whole Werld. I fink em tells you sumfing aboud Hawthorn.

So, ennyways, Maman an' Dadda began takin' Hawthorn to St. Luke's. An' he wassa Hextellant Church Bunny, Maman says. He slept fru da tawkin' anna singin' an' wassa wake forda blessin's, an' he wassa'wake forda Coffee Hour afta, so he gotta wotta cookie bits an' cake crumbs. He told Hunny it wassa Hextallent Job fora bun.

An' den, just afta ReveranDoktorV'ginnySheay retired to lib in Maine, an Father Dirk came to St. Luke's, well, dat was Hawthorn's Wast Easter. He weft forda Rainbow Bridge afta habbin' his pikchur taken wif Father Dirk wearin' his Brand Noo Vestmints, an' dat wassa wast pickchur taken ob gentle widdle Hawthorn.

Maman sed she tried to take Belinda to St. Luke's, but Belinda thought it was to Worship Da Bunny an' was preddy much obba disaster. Dadda sed takin' Belinda ennywheres needed six arms an' two heds (which he don't hab). An' dat alla whut dey sed aboudd'it, but Hunny filled inna gaps. He sed dat Maman came home frum Church an' told Phil dat Belinda not onwy wanted to get down durin' da tawkin', but she got bord inna middul obba singin' an' tried to sit on Dadda's hed, an' she almost eated sumbunny's hat, an' twied to sit in the Alms Basin whin it was bein passed downna row, an' den she tried to habba run fru da Choir, AND she nipped apawt da shoe-laces obba supply priest who was stoopit enough to ignore her, an' pwob'ly wuld hab peed on him, cos she was dat mad cos he was still ignorin' her, 'cept Maman gotted her back innu her carrier just in time - so dat was preddy much alla stuff dat Maman didn't want her tido.

An' ob course, as you know, bof Hunny an' Belinda hab gone along toda Rainbow Bridge. Dey were berry old, wunnerful bunnies an' I miss dem.

So yestidday it was my turn to go to St. Luke's to beda Church Bunny.

An' dere were a wotta dawgs dere! Big wuns, widdle wuns, reel furry an' not-so-furry. Two obb'em had on bandanas so I know dat dey had bin toda gwoomers, poor guys. An' dere wassa gwumpy owd Pug, sorta wike anudder Pug I know, onwy she issn't ebben pawtwy dat gwumpy, ebben onna bad day. An' dere were stoopit puppies, too, all pullin' dis way an' dat way on dere leeds.

An' dere were catz. Dere wassa berry speshul show cat behind me who had No Tail. She sed she was skert, cos dere was dawgs aroun' an' she wassa 'fraid ob dawgs, but I told her it was Hokay, dat I wuld show her howta handul dawgs, an' I almost peed onna rilly old widdle Chewowwa dat comed ober an wooked in my carrier, 'cept she didn't ged cwose enuf, butta Cat gotta idea, but den she got all snooty aboud it an' she sed she culdn't do dat. Cats are weird. You show dem howta handul dawgs an' den dey get all fussy aboud it.

An' ennyways, a wotta childrens petted me, anna nice wady who bemembered Hunny, Smokey, Hawthorn and Belinda (cos it was dat wady's hat Belinda twied to eat) sed she was thrilled to see me! Isn't dat nice? An' Father Dirk sprinkled wadder on me, an' gabe me a blessin' to carry bak toda Warren (which I did) an' Maman an' Dadda sed dat dey were berry pwoud ob me.

So dat's preddy much it. I gotted extry raisins for bein' good, an' Maman sed I kin beda Church Bunny again. So mebbe I kin do as good as Hunny, Smokey an' Hawthorn. Big feets to follow in, but I'm geddin' more 'Tellygint alla time, so dere is wotsa hope!

---By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:37 AM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Sunday, 2 October 2005
The Blessing of the Animals (2 Oct. 05)
Now Playing: We Are Blessed
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, tiday mawks the biginin' obba Noo Chapta Inna Life Ob Our Warren.

Afta a wong time off, I am bak. Me, George, da widdle Noo Zeeland mixt wif Callyfornian bunny who libs heer at Our Warren wif MissyBun Hawpa, MsClover an' Beebe-Bunny!! an' Mister Mouse (anna Collie Dawg, Marc, anna Stoopit Catz, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat an' Beep-da-Goofy-Cat).

Dis is da Blog ob Ms. Belinda Bunny, nebber-to-be-fortygotted. She stawted it a wong time ago, bifore I was 'dopted, bifore I was ebben borned! An' den, just afta I was weft atta V-E-Ts assa weft-ober Easter-bunny dat nobunny wanted, an' 'dopted by Maman an' Dadda, den, Belinda, who was berry sik, she wefted me anna rest obba Warren forda Rainbow Bridge - which issa pwace where bunnies go to wait for dere friends an' rewayshuns to come to meet dem to begin dere Great Jurney to God's Great Warren.

An' Belinda wefted her Blog to me, George.

At furst, when I gotted it, I didn't know whuttaheck to do wiffit.

I meen, wookit, I'm a bunny-rabbit. Anna berry young bunny-rabbit, so I habba wot to lern bifore I become 'Tellygint. An' BOF Belinda an' Hunny (who wassa berry old an' honourable rabbit) told me dat I hadda not gwow meerly "old", but dat I hadda gwow 'Tellygint!

But gwowing 'Tellygint is hard! An' it takes a wong time. So whin I gotted dis Blog, I didn't quite know whut to do wiffit. I sorta made entries an' had idees an' writed down stuff dat I fought was impawtant, an' I tried to 'splain bunnies toda hoomins I meeted heer an' stuff, but it wassn' easy, you know?

An' sumtimes I didn' feel wike typin', an' sumtimes udder stuff gotted inna way ob typin', an' den sumtimes I didn't habba organnyzayshun rite, or I didn't hab ennyfing in my hed to type aboud. An' sumtimes it was just too much werk for wun widdle bunny to do all by his widdle self.

But tiday, well, tiday is Sunday, an' it issa Pawtant Day, cos it issa day dat we bunnies sellybrate da Speshul Day obba Paytron Saint ob Alla Annymuls, Saint Francis ob Assisi. He wassa guy who culdn't ged hoomins to wisten to him in Rome, so he wint outside an alla birds came to hear whut he hadda say.

An whut he sed was dat alla God's Creeashun is impawtant, incloodin us, dat we is alla us togedder, pawt obba genius ob God. Maman sed datta werd genius is badly unnerstood now, cos it issn' used rite ennymore. She sed whut Mister Saint Francis ment was more wike dat ebberyfing in Heaven an' on Earth contains a pawt ob da Creatib Principle obba Architect Obba Universe. She sed dat as Anglican Bunnies (which we are) we call dis Architect Obba Universe, God, dat dis is Our name for Him. Which is hokay, cos it was also da same name dat Mister Saint Francis used.

But whut Mister Saint Francis ment was dat none ob us is unimpawtant, none ob us is useless - dat whin you look atta two-foots or a four-foots nextest to you, you are seein' pawt obba genius ob God. Cos whutebber it is, iffit is in Heaven or on Earth, den it was Creeated. An' ebben if you fink dat fings "ebolbed", it don't madder, cos God culd hab made dat happin, too, you see. It don't madder, eidder way. No madder how far back you wanna go, dere wassa Beginnin an' rite dere, atta Beginnin dere was dat Architect, creeatin' fings alla'round.

So cos it is da Speshul Day for Mister Saint Francis, I'm stawtin' up Belinda's Blog agin, an' I'm gonna twy to keep attit. Mebbe ebberyfing I type won' be impawtant, or fulla 'pinions, wike her stuff was, but I'm gonna do my bestest.

Cos Maman sed I godda widdle bit ob Heaven in me, too. Issn't dat nice to fink aboud? Dat dere issa widdle bit ob Heaven in ebberybunny? In you. An' me. An' ebben inna catz. An' alla'round, an' in Our Warren, too!

By George

Posted by Our Warren at 2:50 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Sunday, 26 June 2005
Gardin vs. Maman
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Whutta Dawg Sed
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Well, heer we go agin: da continuin' story ob Maman, Dadda anna Our Warren Memorial Gardin.

As you know, we godda Our Warren Memorial Window dat wooks out ober what Maman an' Dadda are hopin' will one day be da Our Warren Memorial Gardin.

Maman made a start on dis by creatin' da Our Warren HerbGardin. Which is berry nice, if somewhat onna small side. But dis is Hokay, because as Belinda Bunny pointed out oncet, "Big twees gwow frum widdle nuts, an' if dat's troo, den we godda whole forest rite heer in dis houz, just waitin' to gwow."


Maman an' Dadda went toda "Home-De-Pot" store yestidday, where I guess dey sell pots to take home (considerin' da name) an' udder fings (considerin' whut came home wiff Maman an' Dadda inna Buick).

Now bemember, it has bin hot outside, wif no rain for awhile.


Here commed Dadda wiffa widdle gardin fork anna equal-sized small shubble. Why he didn gedda full-sized stuff, I'll nebber know. Mebbe dey will grow bigger ober time. Whutebber.

Den Maman staggars fru da Bun Room wiffa prong fing wif a handle on top for turnin' uppa ground (she says). An' den Dadda comes fru wiffa'nudder bag wiffa hose innit an' sum rose snippers he calls, secateurs which is French for "rose snippers".

Anna Cokie-da-Fat-Cat wanders up,wooks at alla stuff, den wooks at me an' says, "Dis don' wook good. I'm goin' uppastairs, outta da way bifor ennyfing bad happins." An' he an' Beep beats feets forda Office which is onna sekond floor an' dat's da end ob dem.

Hoomins are wrong aboud ratz. It's Catz dat will allus be da furst ones offa sinkin' ship.

Soda Dawg comes up an' sniffs all stuff onna floor, wooks at me an' says, "Oh goody! We be's going outside!"

So I says to him, "You go an' watch 'em an' tell me whut happins."

Anna Dawg says, "Fine wif me."

Cos he's stoopit wike dat.

An heer comes Maman an' she's wearing glubs on hur hands wif fwowers on'em, anna long skirt (ob course) an she hassa square fing tied around her middle. An' she puts dat sekkytoors fings inna widdle pockit an' says toda Dawg,

"Hokay, Hose-nose. Wet's go."

Now I havta depend onna Dawg to tell whut happined nextest, cos he was out dere inna yard an' I wassn't.

So heer is Whutta Dawg Sed:

"Anna Maman an' me is walkin', me onna left-side-by-da-knee which is right, anna Maman comes toda roses an' she says,

"Ohmygoodness, wook-at-dat! Black-spots!"

"So I wook, but whuttaheck? Dere's a squirell inna tree wot's throwd a twig at me, so I run toda tree an bark cos dat's a threat! So Maman hollars,

'Shaddap, Dawg!'

"So I haveta shut up an go sit by da left-side-ob-her-kneee, which is rite. You'd fink she knowed a threat when she seed one, cos squirells issa menace to p'lite compiny, but she dont see dat - she finks dey are 'kyoot. So she's not payin' 'tension to where her feets are cos she's wookin' up forda squirell dat's alreddy gone, an' so she falls ober me.

"Toes inna side! Dat hurts But I don't whimper, doh, cos I amma manly dawg.

"So I know my trainin'. Number A: Sniff da Maman, Number B: Stand steady, Number C: Let her use me to ged herself back on her feets agin; Number D: Sit beside-da-left-knee-an'-wook-up-reassuringly. I am notta Serbice Dog for nuffin'.


"So she goes back to clippin' bits ob rosebush an' frowin' 'em onna ground. I do not hand dem bak to her, cos she alreaddy sed, 'No' an' I ain't stoopit.

"So when she's finished wiffa roses, she moobs on to whut she calls 'Hedge' dat is uppagainstdafence.

"Well, dat 'Hedge' don't smell rite, so I walks ober, lifts my leg, an marks it. She don't like me markin' stuff while she's watchin', I don't fink, but it's too bad. My gardin, an' I gotta mark whut's mine. An' cos I bin out inna gardin wif her for awhile now, I'm squeezin drops, Rabbit, lemme tell ya.

"So she's cuttin' branches now an' throwin' 'em inna pile behind herself. Pile don't got markings on it, so I mark da pile, too. You nebber know. Gotta keep up wif dis markin' stuff or you can loose your terrytorry. Ebbery dawg knows dis, ebben if hoomins don't seem to ged it.

"So by now we're onna bottom pawt obba gardin an' Maman's till cuttin' an makin' piles. An' now she comes to anudder string ob stuff. She makes 'tch, tch' sounds. Says to me, "Wookout forda thorns, Hose-nose."

"Wall, dat's whut I gots hair down'dere for. Keep it cleen, keep it fuzzy, keep fleas outta it an' it werks as it shuld to p'tectk your markin' 'quipmint frum thorns, nettles an all sorts. I ain't stoopit.

"So she's cuttin' an' bendin', an' bendin' an' pullin' wiffa cutters, an' geddin' red inna face an' Dadda comes up an axts,

"Why you cuttin outta blackberries?"

"An Maman's wike, 'Whut?'

"An Dadda is wike, 'Da blackberries. Or raspberries. Too early to tell which, but it's wunnada two. Why's you cuttin' 'em out?'

"An' he's not markin' ennyfing. He's berry lazy aboud markin', I notice. He only marks in one room. Dat is notta way to keep his Pack's terrytory from tresspasses fruma'nudder pack. Ya gotta mark ebberywhere's. Dat's why pawt ob my name is "Marc", cos I dose alla it around heer. It's "Zackary-Marc" an' I don't ebben wait forda rest ob it, I just go ahead an start markin', cos I know Dadda hasn't dunit, ebben if he is Da Alpha Male.

"So I'm markin' da pile ob thorns.

"An' Maman says, 'You meen we wanna keep dees thorny fings? Dey aren't a weed?'

"An' Dadda wooks at'em an' shakes his hed an' says, 'No, dey are berries ob sum kind.'

"So Maman wooks atta stuff I'm markin, squeezin' drops cos I bin out heer so long, den turns around, points to a row ob sum udder plants an axts Dadda, 'Whut's dis stuff?'

"An' Dadda plucks summa da leebs onna plant she pointin' at, an' sniffs 'em an' says, 'Lemmon sage'.

"An' dey go on downna row.

"An'dey come toda lilac bush/tree dat has udder fings gwoin unner'neaf ob it.

"So I'm sniffin' an' still markin' cos now we're outsideobbagate onna side obba houz, an' dat area h'ain't been prop'ly marked inna wong time, onna'count ob me not bein' 'lowed outsideobbagate an' Dadda not doin' his job wiffa markin. So it's sniff, walk, lift-leg, squeeze (cos I bin out a wong time); walk, sniff, walk, lift-leg, squeeze. Good fing it only takes a drop or I'd be in trubble. I notice dat we gots 'possums, too, an' wooks wike a bunny wast week dat was passin' fru fromma yard nestest stoor. She don't come heer regular cossa me, but she comes sumtimes. I don't mind, but I kin smell she's afraid, so I put a widdle reassurance innu dat mark.

"Ennyways, Maman an' Dadda hab stopped an' are starin' byda lilac bush. So I goes back, cos no one is payin' 'tension to me. Gotta see whut's happinin' cos it's da Pack way to do ebberyfing togedder.

"An' Maman is sayin' to Dadda, 'Dis happined bifor. We cut it down an' bury it inna bottom obba buckit. An' now it's bak.'

"An' Dadda is wike, 'Well, you gots to diggit out. But whut I don't unnerstan is: 'Howdaheck did it ged heer inna furst pwace? Sumone pwant it?'

"An' Maman's wike, 'It's natib toda mid-'lantic states. Grows assa weed most enny pwace. An' it's in dis pwace an' it can't stay. Mygosh we'll be 'rested!'

"An' Dadda geds da clippins buckit anna gardin fork an' ebben doh it's a hunnert degrees an' he's drippin' wadder off his hed, he starts diggin' atta plants atta bottom obba lilac tree.

"An' Maman wanders off cos she hassa 'tension span obba well-developed gnat.

"An' cos nuffink seemsta be happinin, I go back to markin. An' dere is dis fing I find inna ground byda lilac tree, stikin' up. Made ob metal. Smells wike Dadda an' hassa brand noo hose atta end obbit. Well, dis hassn't bin marked! So I pick up my leg for like da hundreth time...

"An' alla sudden, da hose jumps, anna metal fing gibs a widdle choke an' HolycowSaintMichaelanallaarchangels, dere's wadder comin' outta dat fing!

"An' it's *REALLY* comin' out!

"We're talkin' sprayin' all ober wiffa *chug* *spritz* *chug* *spritz* sound as it begins tossin handfuls ob wadder around inna circle aroundonna lawn.

"Well, Border Collies are known for dere fast reactions. An' I got good reactions ebben for a Border Collie. So I'm off like a shot.

"Middle-aged Englishmen are not known for dere fast reactions. Our Dadda issa Troo Englishman.

"An' Maman ambles aroun da corner obba houz an' she's wookin' as I shoot past. So she sings out, 'Marc! Come!"

"So I circles back.

"An' she says, 'Sit! Stay!

"So I sits down by her left-knee an' wooks. An' dere issa sprinkler, shootin wadder inna orderly circle onna lawn, an alla piles ob stuff, neatly marked by m, but habbin dere markins washed off byda wadder, an' dere's Dadda wiffa gardin' fork, stuffin sum green plants innu da bottom obba clippins bin.

"An Maman is wike, 'Issn dis nice, Zachary-Marcus? We're gardinin'."

-------------- As told to George Bunny ob Our Warren

Posted by Our Warren at 3:31 PM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 26 June 2005 4:07 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Wednesday, 22 June 2005
Who Wants Tabe A Hiltun? Not Us!
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Whutsamatta Wif Bein' Me?
Topic: Me 'n' Mouse

I was tawkin' to Mouse onna'count ob him watchin' tellybishon wif Maman.


Well, he comed back innu da Bun Room wast nite afta "LawNorder" an' sed,

"Hey George. You wanna be a Hiltun?"

An' I was wike, "Whutsa 'Hiltun'?"

An' Mouse godda raisin frum his crock an wooked at me fora minit, chewin', an' den sed, "Howdaheck do I know? Bud it's onna TeeBee: 'Who Wants Tabe a Hiltun?'. An' dere are alla dees hoomins jumpin' uppandown, an' tawkin' wike dey are entirely stoopit, an' dis wady wif big bottom-pawts shakin' her hed wike Maman does whenna Dawg slops his wadder onna floor."

An' I sed, "So, whutsit alla'bout?"

An' Mouse sed, "I dunno. Dey just axt 'Who Wants Tabe a Hiltun?' So I thought I'd axt you if you wanted to be one, too. Seems da fing to do, you know?"

So Missy wooks up frum her hay an' axts, "Whut does bein' a Hiltun ged you?"

An' Mouse sat down, scratched his ear a widdle an' sed, "I dunno. Da hoomins just sed dat dey rilly, rilly wanted to be one."

Den Beebe-Bunny jumped up for no partikyoolar rezon, an' shouted, "YO!"

But he's allus doin' dat.

So, Mouse axted him if he wanted tabe a Hiltun, an' Beebe wooked at Mouse sorta cwoss-eyed an sed, "Whut for?", an den he gaddered his feets unnerneaf ob him fora popcorn binky.

An' Clover was sittin' in her pootybox, an' she says, "Wookit, I fink bein' me is fine. Who else am I gonna be? I mean, wook. Wassn't Hunny an' Maggie Weddinbunnies oncet? An' dey gotta ride inna baskits downna fing at SainLuke's wiffa ReverendDoktorGinnySheay an' Maman an' Dadda, an' Hunny sed it wassa wotta fuss an' bodder. So bein' Weddinbunnies is not sumfing dat I hab high on my list ob Fings To Be. An' den Belinda wassa Churchbunny, an' she sed she got to go to SainLuke's, too, an' she at weast got to snuffle up cookie crumbs unnerneaf obba tabul inna big room, but she also sed dat dere were a wot ob widdle kidlets runnin' around, an' sum guy dat didn't wike bunnies. So bein' a Churchbunny isn't high on my list ob Fings To Be, eidder. I fink I wike bein' me."

"So whut are you?" Asked Mouse.

"Miz CloverBun, A Gurl ob RIFRAF."

"Just dat?"


Mouse piked atta piece ob hay an' cut it innu short bits.

"You see..." He sed, as he was cuttin' da hay, "Da fing is...*snip*... Dat hoomins onna tellybishon... *bite*... is allus doin' stuff... *snip*... Dey are not happy just bein'...dem."

Den he finked fora minit an' added: "An' dere wassa 'Bride' dat runned away. Dey made a big deal ob dat. She runned away frumma weddin'. Maman an' Dadda didn't run away, did dey?"

Clover shook her head so dat her ears flapped.

"So dey wassn't onna TeeBee." Mouse continnyued.

An' Clover sed, "Nope. I wuld hab herd Belinda say sumfing aboudda fing wike dat."

"Dey was just dem."

An' I sed, "Well, whuttaheck else was dey gonna be?"

An' Mouse sed, "Dey wassn't Hiltuns, right?"

An' Missy sed, "Nope, nebber."

"So I guess we're safe."

"Frum?" Axted Beebe, as he popcorned ober Clover's back again.

"Bein' Hiltuns."

An' I sed, "Yeah. I don't fink Maman has enny pwans in dat direkshun. She sed she hadda do 'laundree' tomorry, so bein' a 'Hiltun' is preddy much outta da pikchur."

An' Mouse nosed aroun' in his pellet crock fora minit an' den wooked up an' sed, "Good. Cos dere is no way enny ob us is gonna go lib in dat tiny box called a Teebee wiffa fat wady inna green dress. I much radder habba habbytat heer, wiffa Bun Room, a screen-porch, an' alla udder stuff we got den to go off to Teebee-land tabe a Hiltun."

An' Missy stopped chewin' an' sed, "You gotta go lib inna box to be a Hiltun? Well, fregdaboud dat! Stoopit hoomins. Bedder to be me."

An' wooked at her, cos she is my wifebun an' all. An' I sed, "So why issit so gweat to be you?"

An' Missy sed, "Cos you know where you are wif yourself when you're me."

An' Mouse kind chuckled, reel quiet ober in his habbytat, an' crunched wunna da gwape toe-may-toes dat Maman put in wif our salads.

"Yeah, " he 'peted. "You know 'zactly where you are wif you. We are in our Forever Home. No more shelters, no more OnAlone. An' dat's preddy much good enuf for me."

An' we agreed, cos whodaheck wants tabe whutebber a Hiltun is, ennyways?

------------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 2:06 PM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Friday, 17 June 2005
Da Return ob Belinda Bunny
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: HareWare
Topic: Da Lore
You godda heer dis, cos it happined!


You know dat it has bin rilly hot all week. I'm tawkin so hot dat nobunny was rilly bein' outsides, 'cept forda Dawg, who hasta use da Outsides assa pootie-box, cos dat's whut Dawg do.

But wast nite, it wassa widdle bit cooler, so Maman an' Dadda wheeled alla habbytats frumma Bun Room out on toda Screen-Porch so we culd catch summa da breezes dat was suddenly stawtin' to blow.


Last evenin' on yestidday, while we was Alla Us Togedder sittin' in our habbytats onna Screen-Porch wif Maman an Dadda, it got rilly dark an' dere were a lotta cwouds inna sky anna wind got up rite afta dinnertime!

An' Maman an' Dadda an' Alla Us Togedder were sittin' dere onna Screen-porch, when Maman jumped up wif her eyes rilly big an' called to Dadda, "Come on! Da Fwag is still up!"

An' dey skurried out toda fwagpole dat is inna frunt gardin - well, Dadda did. Maman anna Dawg stayed just inside obba frunt door, watchin, cos Dadda figgers dat da two ob dem is wess trubble watchin' den if dey is helpin'.

So, Dadda is out dere wiffa ropes an' stuff, an' alla wind is blowin', anna fwag is fallin' downna fwagpole, an' he's catchin' it, an alla'sudden, it's wike sumbun opined uppa sky an' dumped out alla rain at one time!


An' Dadda's got his arms fulla Fwag, an ropes, an' he's twyin' to tie uppa ropes inna wind anna rain, an just as he geds ebberyfing tied up - sumbun turns offa fawcett inna sky - an ~Whoops~ da rain moobs on anna sun pops out.

An den Maman geds all hextcited an' stawts pointin' atta sky an' 's'klaims, "Wook! Wook ober dere! It'ssa rainbow! Da Rainbow Bridge!"

So, ob course, we all wooked, cossa Rainbow Bridge is pawt obba Lore. It is where ebberybunny goes wiffa Black Rabbit, da Gateway toda Meadows where we can wait for our Hoomins so we can begin Da Great Journey to God's One Warren, Alla Us Togedder. It's where Belinda went, an' where Poet is, anna pwace dat Hunny saw in his Ancient Rabbits Dreams. An ebbery fur, fin an feather child dat has ebber libbed is dere, waitin' for dere Person to begin da Journey toda Forebber Home. It's da Rainbow Bridge an' you only get to see it sumtimes, on speshul days whenna sun, anna wind, anna sky is just perfekt.

An' dat issa Lore, an' dat is Troo.

An' so, we Alla Us Togedder, wooked up to where Maman was pointin', an dere it was! A piece obba rainbow was inna sky, shinin' against da dark, dark cwouds!

It was justa Gateway toda Rainbow Bridge!

An' Dadda wooked up, all dwippy-wet an' hollars, "Oi! Belinda! Quit'cher buggerin' about, ya miserable camel-faced auld cow!"

An' Maman's wike, "Whuttahecksgodinnuyou?"

An' Dadda, all drippy-wet wooks at her, berry reasonable-wike, an' says,

"Well, can't you just see her? She's done it again - peed all ober ebberybun an' now she's laffin' aboud it! Rite frumma Rainbow Bridge!"

So I guess, wike Maman an' Dadda keeps sayin': Belinda nebber quite leebs us. She's allus just dere, just outta site, an' as close assa nextest thought.

Bud, you see, I alreddy knowed dis cos she told me dis is whut wuld happin.

So yeah, she wuld rilly approob ob my friend, Mr Wally LaserLips, Mr Joon, who libs in Callyfornia, an' issa Chef anna Food Reviewer an' writer, an ebberyfing, an' he has his pikchur on tee-shirts an totebags, an' hassa compiny ob his berry own! He's a berry faymus bunny, an' he ebben has his Mawmie werkin' for him! An' he issa Inspirryashun to bunnies wike me who are still growin' to be 'Tellygint!

An' you know whut? You can visit his web-site, too! An' you can habba Chef Wally shirt, an' see alla wunnerful pottery dat his Mawmie creates!

So click onna noo HareWare! link onna left-hand side obba dis page, unner da heading "Bunny Blogs", or cut-and-paste dis URL to your browser window and click "go":
An' come an see dis berry speshul bunny site!

Cos Belinda wuld want you to. An' you know whut she does when she doesn't ged her own way...

--------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:21 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 17 June 2005 12:37 PM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Thursday, 16 June 2005
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Foolin' Natchur
Topic: Movin' On!
Maman waked up dis mornin' aboud five-AM, comed out innu da Bun Room an' told me dat dis was wunna dose mornin's when she felt wike she wished her hed wuld fall off an roll unnerneaf obba sofa where we wuld hab to go pokin' around, wookin' for it wif sticks.

An' I wooked at Missy an' sed,


An' it was all cloudy out, wiffoud sunshine for once, which issa good fing, cos it has bin rilly HOT heer.

Not *heer* inna Bun Room, cos we hab sumfing called "central air" which seems to be datta heat-vent blows cold air for me an' Missy to sit-upon.

But when Maman opins da Back Door to wet outta Dawg...

Lemme tell you, whut comes in fru dat door is wike whut comes outta dat udder white box inna kitchin where Maman puts Dadda's dinner - da Obin.

An whenna Dawg comes inna'gin, he says dat it is HOT out dere an' dat da onliest fing you can do is to sit inna grass unner a tree an' keepa Eye Out Fur Squirrells. Cos ennyfing else is just more den wun Dawg can cope wif.

Maman sed we can't go out onna Screen-Porch onna'count ob it bein' too hot out dere, too, an' so we are stayin' inna Bun Room, sittin' ober dat "Cental Air" fing, singin' songs an' habbin' hay. Cos dat's whut bunnies do when dere is too much sun - just take it easy.

But not Maman or Dadda. Nope. Hoomins are stoopit wike dis. Dey go out inna sun, or else dey keep doin' fings wike it is not hot out.

But ebbin' if it is not hot inna houz, your insides know dat it is hot outside. Dey know dat whut is inside is not rite compared to whut is outside an' dat sumfing is wrong wiffa entyre pikchur ob Whut Rilly Is Goin' On.


Cos your insides know dat dere is too much sun outside, an' dat it is too hot to be doin' so menny fings, but dat you are inna (big werds comin' up heer) "arty-fish-ul en-vy-ron-mint" dat is not reel.

Dat's whut "arty-fish-ul" means: NOT REEL. Fake.

An' "en-vy-ron-mint" means: whut's around you, whut you are libbin' in.

So, basikly, it means dat you are libbin' in whut's not reel, an' you insides know dat dey are bein' fooled an' dey don't wike it.

An' so, your insides are wettin' you know dat dey know dat you are tryin' to PRE-TEND fings aren't as dey rilly are!


An', you know, you shuld not try to fool your insides innu finkin' dey are sumwhere's dey are not, cos dey still know dat outside dis cool, nice, arty-fish-ul en-vy-ron-mint inside obba houz, it is still majorly HOT outside obba houz inn reel werld.

Bunnies know dis wiffoud bein' told, cos we listen to our insides.

It's wike dis:

How do you fink datta bunny inna burrow knows da wedder outside obba burrow? How do you fink we know how deep to dig da burrow, or where to dig it, or how to place it so it will be outta da wind an' rain?

Our insides knows.

An' we listen to our insides.

Dis is why, ebben wiffa "Central Air" coolin' our butts, we still lie aroun inna Bun Room an' act wike we is outside inna burrow, an' sing songs all day an' eat hay - cos our insides aren't fooled by da "Central Air" blowin' up our fur.

We know dat da "Central Air" issa fake air, anna "Arty-fish-ul En-vy-ron-mint".

Da reel deal is out dere where da Dawg is, onna grass, unner'neaf obba trees. An' just wike da Dawg says (which we alreddy know) it is HOT out dere!

An' we're smawt enuf to sit still, cos we listen to our insides.

But Maman an' Dadda go on wike da outside don't happin - which is why whin Maman gotted up dis mornin', her hed felt wike a punkin', an' her joints won't werk, an' she can't find enny balance, an' she's needin alla da coffee-inna-pot just to stay upright on her feets.

Cos listenin' is notta hoomin fing.

Yeah. I hab noticed dis bifore: hoomins do not listen to much besides whut dey wanna heer.

An' I fink I know why...

It's cos dey gots small ears.

Yup. Small ears, close to dere heds, dat don't moob well.

It's gennyetricks. Or sumfing. But dat's whut's happined to dem - dey hab small ears, so dey can't listin to whut's goin' on alla round, unless it's comin' frum inside ob dere heds.

It's worse den dags or catz, I'm tellin' you.

Hoomins are EAR-er-ly challenged (which means dat dey can't help it).

All I can say, issat it issa good fing dat Maman an' Dadda hab Companion Bunnies!

------- by George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:19 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 16 June 2005 8:36 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 6 June 2005
Memorial Day
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Bememberin'
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, Memorial Day wassa innerestin' week-end, lemme tell you!

Furst ob all, Memorial Day is notta Day, it issa coupla days all strung togedder innu one big mess ob days an' nites when stuff is goin' on. But Hoomins tend to call it all "Memorial Day" wike it was all onwy wun day when it's not.

Sekond fing to know issa Memorial Day issa time to bemember ebberybunny who has ebber bin inna Millyterry Serbices. In Our Warren, it seems dat dis icloods a wotta hoomins...
Maman's Dadda, who is Our Bim, who was inna Naby Medical Corps at Bainbridge Naval Hospiddle.
Maman's Unkul Eck who was inna Army in Europe an' was on Gen'ral Patton's Staff.
Dadda's Dadda, Jack, who serbed inna Royal Engineers, an' was in Burma an' den stayed wiffa Regiment.
Dadda's Unkul who was Jack's brudder who was inna Royal Naby an' serbed onna famos ship.
Phil who was inna Naby in Pepsicola.
An' ebben Maman's greatest great-great-great-sumfing grandest-fadder who wassa gen'ral inna Rebbelooshunary War an' sum stuff, an' dees udder great guys who was inna Cibble War all ober da pwace.

So we had sum Quiet Time to bemember alla des hoomins, as well as alla mules, horses, dawgs an' pigeons who serbed inna Millyterry. An' Phil sed dere are dolphins, too, cos he met sum ob dem.

An' Maman sed it was 'portant for us to bemember dat dere were annymals who serbed inna millyterry, an dat dere were wimmins an' men, an' sumtimes ebben childrens who ran away to be inna Serbices onna'count ob dey beliebed in whut was bein' fought for. She sed dat Our Bim runned away frum College an' so did his friends, an' sed dey was older den dey rilly were, just so dey culd get to be pilots.

But only wun ob dem became pilots, an' his name was Dave Sweet, an' he wassa onwy wun who didn't come back.

Our Bim told Maman dat his airplane went up frumma hareplane carrier wun day inna Pasifik, an' dere wassa fight wif udder hareplanes, an' when alla hareplanes wooked aroun', nobun culd find Dave Sweet's hareplane. It was just gone, an' nobun knew where it went. Maman sed dat mebbe da angels reached down an' taked it, so dat's whut I'm finkin'. You know, dat Bim's friend Dave Sweet flied so high datta angels just reached outta hand an' taked him off to show him da Rainbow Bridge, an' so he an' Our Bim could meet up dere, you know? Afta alla dees yeers.

So Maman bringed us alla us togedder wif her innu da Sittin' Room at Monday Nite an' we listened an' watched sum orchestra anna band an' stuff, playin' music for Memorial Day. Mouse sed it wassn't "Law-n'Order", but sumfing speshul, an' I guess it was, cos we was all dere.

An' Maman sed it was good to bemember, an' good to be sad aboud alla hoomins who had been inna millyterry, an' dat it was good to know how ebberybunny was brave, an' sad to know how young ebberybunny was habbin' to be brave. She sed dat mebbe sumday, ebberybunny wuld know whut bunnies know - dat dere issn't a need to fight ober ennyfing, 'cept against does hoomins who want to make you slabes to dem.

An' whin da tellybishon program was ober, she played a song for us called "Rool Brittanya" (I fink dat wassa name obbit) an' it sed aboud nebber, nebber, nebber will be slabes.

An' she sed dat was for Dadda's Jack.

An' yeah, dat's hokay wif us.

An' we got parsley, sum dill, an' widdle cherry tomatoes for tweats.

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:23 AM EDT
Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink
Monday, 23 May 2005
Top Bunning
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Whuttaheck Am I Doin' Heer?
Topic: The Next Generation

I am bememberin' sumfing Hunny told me.

"Da key to bein' a Top Bun is to allus okkypie da high ground. Ebben if your highest ground issa pootie-box, okkypie it."

So, I been spendin' da mornin', okkypyin' da pootie-box, which (afta Missy's last visit) issa highest point inna habbytat.

Sumhow, I don't see whut alla fuss issa'bout.

I can't see more frum up heer.

I can't 'zacktly do ennyfing speshul while I'm heer, 'cept sit.

Dere's nuffin' in par-tick-you-lar goin' on, but here I am sat, onna pootie-box, okkypyin da highest ground around, wike Hunny sed.

Now he allus managed to wook diggyfied doin' dis, but I habba sneeky feelin' dat I wook preddy silly.

Maman just came by wiffa Dawg, an' she said, "Whoa George! Back inna 'High Life' are you?" an she *waffed*.

Ebben da Dawg grinned, an' he was headed outta door for his Mornin' Bark (which issa berry serious fing for dawgs, lemme tell you.). It issa way dat dawgs communykate wif each udder. As pawt ob my learnin' to grow 'Tellygint, I axt da Dawg aboud dis, an' so I learned:

1.) Dawgs hab two times ob day when dey go outside just to bark.
2.) Dis kind ob barkin' is not meant to be annoyin' to ennywun. It is barkin' to hextchange infortymashun wif udder dawgs inna area.
3.) Furst dawgs trot around dere terrytorry an' mark it.
4.) Den dey okkypie da Highest Ground an' announce dat dey are where dey are 'sposed to be an' dat dere terrytorry is sekure.
5.) Den dey listen to udder dawgs say da same fing.
6.) Dawgs also announce if dere terrytorry has bin Invaded, or ebben just bisited by Sum Outsider. Dey also warn each udder if sumfing is New or Strange.

Dis is all becos Dawgs are Pack Annymuls. Zachary-Marcus says we are in his Pack an' he issa Beta Male who is on dooty when Dadda (who issa Alpha Male) is not. Zachary-Marcus is also da Hed Barker onna'count obba Factk dat he issa only troo dawg in his Pack. He told me dat dere are menny Packs wike dis Pack, wif Beta Males or Females taking uppa job as Hed Barkers libbin' heer. He knows becos he barks wif dem inna mornin' an' also inna late aftanoon.

So, you see, oncet again, okkypyin' da High Ground is impawtant. It is where da Hed Barker sits to announce his Noos.

So here I am onna High Ground, but bunnies don't bark to hextchange noos. I mean, iffa bunny wants to know whut's goin' on inna warren, he or she just wooks atta'nuther bunny an' whut dat bunny is doin' gibs da furst bunny alla infortymashun he or she needs to know. If one bunny is eatin', we all eat. If one bunny is sleepin', we all know it's hokay to sleep. If a bunny is starin' up innu da sky an' *thumps*, den we high-tail it outta there an' hed for da Warren, cos sumpthin' bad is comin'. Bunnies communykate mostly by seein' each udder.

So whut does seein' me on toppa da pootie-box say?

Well, Beebe is standin' on his pootie-box, an' Mr Mouse is standin' on his pootie-box, too. So dat makes free (3) ob us standin' onna pootie-boxes while da girls are eidder habbin' a wash or munchin' on hay.

So, whuttaheck am I doin' heer?

I dunno. I'm still werkin' on dis becomin' 'Tellygint fing. Hunny sed to okkypie da High Ground. Well, I've done it an' don't see dat I'm gettin' anyfing in par-tik-you-lar becos obbit.

Mebbe I'll go follow sum udder advice of Hunny's - "Hab sum hay an' habba nap."

Yeah, sounds good rite aboud now.

"Hab sum hay an' habba nap. Fings will wook much bedder when you wake up."

Now dat's advice to follow!

----------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 9:28 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Friday, 20 May 2005
May Showers
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: I Love A Rainey Day
Topic: The Next Generation

Oh yeah!

It's rainin' heer!

Afta 16 fresh-scrubbed days filled wif sunbeams anna bright bloo sky, it's comin' down in buckets.

An' you know whut?

It's wunnerful! Some mite ebben say luxurious. Udders wuld say it's just perfekt. An' it is. I knew it was gonna happin, too - knew wast night bifore I went to sleep.

Yeah. Wanna know how I knowed? It's pawt ob bein' 'Tellygint an' learnin' to use your nose to pwan ahead an' stuff. Hunny teached me. He sed, "When you smell dis smell at nite, it means rain bifore mornin'." So now, I allus smell da nite breeze, an' becos dere issa Roo-Teen, da nite-breeze is allus dere for me to sniff.

A Roo-Teen issa good fing to hab. It's a fing dat happins alla time, atta same time, ebbery nite, in preddy much da same way. Maman says we don't had Roo-Teens an' need to ged sum, but Dadda says we habba a Roo-Teen alreddy goin' for us, but it just don't werk so well.

Well, I dunno if da Roo-Teen we gots is enny bedder or worse den ennybunny else's Roo-Teen; each time we do it, it's a widdle bit dif'frunt fromma time we did it bifore, but it all ends up da same way - wif me geddin' to sniff da Night-breeze so I can smell whut da weather will be onna nextest mornin'.

Wike wast nite...

You see, firstest whut happined is dis: Phil called up Maman onna phone an' tawked.

An' tawked.

Which is notta bad fing. It's good dat he anna'Lanna call an' tawk wif Maman so she don't ged lonely fordem. I didn't heer much obba conbersayshun cos Maman was inna Sittin' Room an' Missy an' me was inna Bun Room, but I did heer sumfing aboudda p'rade, an' Memorial Day, an' dem dribin' up frum Mary-Land inna noo car, which was hokay wif me.

So dat's whut was goin' on inna Sittin' Room - Maman tawkin wif Phil.

An' den Dadda comed downnastairs frumma Office, an' you tawk aboudda P'rade! Dere was one rite behind ob Dadda as he comed downnastairs - an whut we're tawkin' heer is two Catz anna Dawg followin' on. Anna whole time dere comin' downnastairs, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is compwainin' dat he is hongree.

So Dadda calls into da Sittin' Room dat he is stawtin' da Roo-Teen.

An' Maman gets offa phone-fing frum Phil an' she comes out innu da Kitchin.

So she's atta sink, washin' Kitty Dishes, anna Dawg Bowls, anna Bunny Crocks.

Anna Catz is p'radin' back an forf, tawkin.

An' Dadda says, "Wookit, you buggers, ged out frum unner my feets!"

He says dat alla time toda Catz, but da Stoopit Cat nebber listens. She just winds aroun' and aroun' Dadda's feets, tawkin'.

So Dadda falls ober her an' says a Bad Werd in Anglo-Saxon. He says I'm not 'lowed to type it, so I won't.

Den Cokie-da-Fat-Cat stawts tryin' to ged a wook innu da Dawg's bowl, butta Dawg don't wike dat, so da Dawg tries to shub Cokie outta da way. But shubbin Cokie is hard, onna'count obba fakt dat Cokie is pawt brick wall.

So Cokie shubs da Dawg back anna Dawg barks, an' Cokie says a Bad Werd in Cat an' pats da Dawg onna hed. Anna Dawg backs innu Maman who has Keepin' On Her Feets Ishoos.

So Maman yells atta Dawg, anna Dawg tries to appologise, an' hitta Cat wif his butt atta same time. So Cokie pats dat Dwag inna butt wif his claws out, an' Dadda yells at Cokie an' Cokie says he didn't mean enny harm, he was just combin' da Dawg's fur for him.

Anna Dawg barks, "No way!"

Anna Cat says, "Warowl", which is "Way!" in Cat.

So Dadda begins to opin cans ob food anna akshun heats up.

Dadda tells da Dawg to "Sit". Now dis is sumfing da Dawg lerned howta do in Skool. So da Dawg sits for aboud two sekonds an den stands upp'agin. So Dadda tells him to "Sit" an' "Stay".

Da Dawg "Sits". Which is preddy good, cos den da Stoopit Cat comes along an' rubs along unnerneaf da Dawg-head an' flicks her tail unnerneaf ob his nose. Soda Dawg whines an' sneeezes onna Stoopit Cat, anna Stoopit Cat goes ober to Cokie-da-Fat-Cat so she can rub da Dawg Snot off on him. But Cokie don't want enny Dawg Snot, so he sits up an' takes a swipe wif his big-ol'-paw atta Stoopit Cat.

Anna Stoopit Cat smacks him one upside ob Cokie's hed.

An' Dadda hollars an' tells dem dat dey are all "buggers" again.

Soda Stoopit Cat goes along an' comes innu da Bun Room. Well, da Dawg doesn't wike Catz inna Bun Room. It's wunna his "Roolz" dat dere will be No Catz Inna Bun Room. I agree: we don' wanna hab stinky catz inna Bun Room. So as soon assa Stoopit Cat sneaks innu Da Bun Room, da Dawg pops up an' starts to "stalk" da Stoopit Cat.

Now dis "stalkin'" is a fing dat Border Collies do. Dey hold dere heds down low an off toda side, an' walk quiet-footed, wif dere shoulders hunched up, ready to cut-and-run da minit da cat maks a moob. Anna catz know dis, so dey get as far unnerneaf obba bunny habbytats as dey can possibly get, where da Dawg can't fit to chase them.

So ob course, da Stoopit Cat goes unnerneaf ob Beebe an' Clover's habbytat, an' Beebe hollars out, "YO!" an' lets go wiffa 'normus *thump*. For a widdle guy, he's gotta powerful back feets, an' when he lets fly, poor ol' Clover bounces straight up-inna-air wike she's onna tramp-o-leen.

An' Dadda hollars forda Dawg to "Siddown", which da Dawg does, but he's still watchin' da Stoopit Cat wif his head down an' onna side. An' his eyebrows is goin' back an' forf an' upindown, werkin' obertime, wike mad. Den he just shifts his weight, sodat his paw is offa-ground, an' you just know whut's on his mind.

An' sure enuf, da Stoopit Cat makes a break forda Kitchin, an' wike a rockit, da Dawg is afta her. Da Stoopit Cat whips by between Dadda's legs an' skoots aroun' Maman an' ploughs bang into Cokie who is sittin' hed furst inna grocery bag an' didn't see her comin'.

Two fings I learned:
Number 1.:
Two catz cannot fit innu one grocery bag.
Number 2.:
When Dawgs don't know whut to do, they bark.

So now there issa whole lotta screemin' goin' on inna bag, anna Dawg slides to a stop an' stands ober da grocery bag, barkin' his hed off.

So Dadda hollars, "Dat's IT, damnit!" an slams downna can ob dog-food dat he was unloadin' unnu da Dawg Bowl, an' comes poundin' fru da Bun Room. An' he yanks opin da door toda back gardin an' hollars forda Dawg.

An' wookin' preddy sheepish, da Dawg comes an' paddles outta door.

Den Dadda goes back innu da Kitchin, anna grocery bag is suddenly empty anna catz are patrollin' da Kitchin wike nuffin' happined.

So Dadda gwabs dere bowls an' him anna catz all go uppa stairs togedder.

Den da door slams uppastairs an' Dadda comes back by himself.

An' dat's dat, cossa Catz are shut up inna Office where dey habba Guest Room, Office anna'nudder bafroom all to themselbes forda nite.

Den Dadda opins da door an' back in comes da Dawg, an' dis is when I discobbered dat it was gonna rain!

Becos onna night-breeze dat comes inna door wiffa Dawg, dere comes da smell ob rain!


Yeah! Real rain an' I could smeel dat it was headed our way!

So now, dis mornin', the rain is heer, an' we habba soft, gentle kinda day wif no sun, just pearl-grey skys and silver rain drops.

Kind ob makes you wanna just stretch out an' habba nice, quiet nap.

You know?

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:51 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 18 May 2005
Big Trubble!
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Da Catz Did It!
Topic: The Next Generation

Lemme tell you, DIS WAS BAD!

Lastest nite, Maman an' Mouse was inna Sittin' Room watchin' Law-n-Order (which is Mouse's favourite program), an' Dadda was uppystairs inna Office werkin' on his 'puter, an' me an' Missy was sittin' iin our habbytat inna Bun Room ober da cool air vent - yeah.


Do you bemember dat we hadda Heat Vent inna Bun Room, an how Clover an' Beebe an' Mouse all got mad at us cos dey sed Missy an' me were hoggin' alla warm air dat was comin' up outta da speshul Hole-Inna-Floor? Well, I axt Maman abouddit, an' she sed dat Hole-Inna-Floor was sumfing called a "HOT AIR VENT".


Seems dat unner'neaf obba floors in dis Noo Houz dere are dees pafways made outta metal boxes an' dey go innu da "Bazemint" where we bunnies are notta'lowed to go.

Well, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat goed down dere, innu da "Bazemint" (ebbin doh he is tek-nik-lee not 'lowed to go dere eidder, he snuck downnastairs to habba wook, cos Catz is susposed to be sneeky, he sed.). So he wint downnastairs innu da Bazemint an' came back to tell us Bunnies dat dere issa whole other bunch ob rooms (wike 3) down dere, unner'neaf obba whole houz.


An da furst room inna Bazemint hassa big cabinet innit where Maman hassa wotta stuff dat she buys atta mawkit. Cokie says dat dis issa "Pantree" she's allus tawkin' aboud gettin' stuff outta just bifore dinner. He sed it issa rilly big closet an' dere issa wotta stuff innit wike bog roll an' kitchin roll', an stuff in cans, an' stuff in boxes, an' dog food an' cat food, an justa'boud ennyfing else dat Maman needs to run da houz. An also in dis room are alla dek-or-a-shuns for alla HollyDays, all packed in boxes, wif tag onn'em, so Maman won't gedd'em mixt up. An' dere also issa wotta stuff dat Cokie finks pwob'ly goes onna Screened-In-Room dat we habbin't seed yet cos Maman sed it's still a widdle too chilly.

An' dat's dat room.

Den next dere issa'nudder room dat is fulla tools, all lined up onna walls, an in cabinets, an stuff. Cokie sed dis room wooks wike it belongs to Dadda, cos dere are alla tools an' metal boxes ob tools, an assortmints ob nails, an' wires, an screws an' wood, an stuff to make udder stuff. An' inna corner ob dis room dere issa rilly big box dat seems to habba fire inside obbit, anna rilly big, tall round fing wiffa shiney thick blankey around it, dat hassa wotta wadder innit. Anna metal boxes dat Maman sed were "HOT AIR VENTS" come outta da box wiffa fire innit an' dees go innu alla rooms inna houz, an' bring in alla da hot air to Missy an me. Cokie sed dis big box wiffa fire inside is called da "Fur-nace".

An den dere issa Fird Room, which issa biggest room ob alla da rooms inna Bazemint. An' in dis room dere issa speshul drawin' tabul, wif berry fancy tools hung ober it, anna wotta shelbs wif a wotta buks, anna wotta speshul papers wif pikchurs ob berry complykated-wookin' ships, an' trains an' hareplanes. An' dere are bunches ob cabinets wif hareplanes innn'em all lined up, all aroundda room. An' inna'nudder speshul cabinet wif glass doors an' lights inside, dere are dees ships wif tiny ropes wike spider's webs, an' widdle tiny cannons, an' widdle brass plates dat say fings wike "Fair American", an' "Providence" an' "HMS Victory".

An' you know whut else Cokie sed was down inna Bazemint? A whole railroad dat takes up half obba whole room!. Yeah! Anna railroad has tracks an' trains, an' widdle houzes, stores, an' farms, an' ebberyfing!

Budda trains an' all is berry widdle. Cokie says nobunny can ride on'em, not ebben Beebe or Mr Mouse, or ebben a gimmie-pig, or ebben a reel mousey or rattie, onna'count ob dees trains is rilly dat small, but dat dere issa whole widdle werld dat goes wiff'em, wif widdle shops an' widdle stores, an' widdle houzes, an' widdle cowz an' horzes, anna preddy big stashun (which is wike a big houze, only not big enuf to lib in) anna tuggin' boat dat is stuck in sum kinda stuff dat wooks a wot wike wadder, bud it's not.

An' Cokie sed dere are ebben mountains down dere datta train can go fru! Alla stuff is small, wike ebberyfing is for some rilly widdle hoomins. He says it's weird, wike dere issa whole werld down dere, a whole werld almost, wif nobunny libbin' innit, just trains, trains an' more trains!

An Cokie says datta whole room smells ob Maman's Dadda who we called "Bim". It's da same Bim dat singed us da "Spring Song" dat Belinda teached me, dat we sunged as soon as Winter was ober. Da same Bim who went toda Bridge bifore Belinda or Poet or Hunny. Cokie sed datta whole big room an alla stuff innit smells ob Bim an' ob Phil-da-Lad!

Isn't dat strange?

An whut is also strange is dat our Heat Vent inna Bun Room issn't blowin' warm air frumma Fur-ness inna Bazemint ennymore, eidder!

Now it's blowin COLD air! Can you beleeb it? It's blowin' cold air just wike da Air Condishywasher inna Old Bun Room inna Old Houz where we usta lib.

An' Zachary-Marcus, da Dawg, sed dat dere issa Big Round Fing just ober da fence in his Gardin dat goes off an' on, dat makes a hummin' noise on warm days. He says dat when dat Big Round Fing is hummin', dat's whin dere is cold air blowin' fru dees vents dat usta hab hot air blowin' fru dem.

I'm tellin' you, dere issa WOT to learn aboudda Noo Houz!

But as to whut happined wast nite an' howda Catz got inna whole lotta trubble...


Wike I sed, Maman an' Mouse was inna Sittin' Room, sittin' an' watchin' "Law-N-Order", an' Dadda was werkin' uppastairs on his 'puter in his Just-in-CAD Office, an' Missy an' I were inna Bun Room sittin' ober da vent dat was blowin' COLD air...

When alla'suddin, dere wassa TERRIBUL CRASH!

An' Dadda stawted yellin', an' Maman comed scurryin' outta da Sittin' Room, an dere's Mouse, holdin onta her good shoulder for deer life, wif his widdle ears bobbin' up-an-down ober her shoulder as she's climbin' uppastairs.

Well, Mouse sed dat whin dey got uppastairs, it was RILLY BAD!

Da Dawg was grovlin' at Dadda's feets, tryin' to squirm his way up Dadda's pantsweg wiffoud usin' enny paws. (Mouse sed you hadda see dis to beleeb it.) Anna Catz were bof tryin' to fit unneaf obba settee, only Cokie's butt was too big, so dere wassa wotta him still hangin' out, while his claws were all in four-wheel ober-dribe.

An' dere onna floor, nextest to Maman's desk was wunna dose ships wike was inna speshul cabinet wiffa lights in, inna Bazemint dat smelled wike Bim an' Phil-da-Lad. An' just wike does ships inna speshul cabinet inna Bazemint, dis ship had slender sticks for masts an' widdle skinny threads wike spider webs for ropes, an' widdle cannons all tied down onna planked deck wif widdle knots tied inn'em, an' ebbery detail just perfekt - only dis poor ship was in bits!

Mouse sed dat Maman just stared atta ship, while Dadda was 'splainin' datta Dawg had chased da Stoopit Cat up onta da shelb, an' she had tried to jump ober to Maman's desk an' missed, an' dat she had knocked ober da ship an' it had falled onna floor an' braked bifore Dadda could ebben ged outta his chair to catch it or hollar atta catz an' Dawg to "Stoppit".

An' Dadda was berry sad.

He sed he culd fix mostest fings, but dat fixin' dis poor ship was "Beyond him." An' he said dat mebbe they shuld waid for Phil to come frum Mary-wand, becos mebbe Bim had teached him aboudda ships, just wike he had teached him aboudda trains anna hareplanes...

But Maman didn't say ennyfing, Mouse sed. He sed she handed him ober to Dadda an' got down on her knees an' piked uppa brokin' ship an' set it in her lap. An' den she sat dere, holdin' da ship inn'er lap, sorta pokin' atta brokin' bits.

An' she said datta ship was named "Kersage", an' she listed alla ropes wike spider's webs dat was damaged, an named alla masts an' stuff, cos she issa 'storian an' it's pawt ob her business to know alla dat stuff.

An' she told Dadda how her Dadda, Bim, wiked to build da ships, but her pwace inna werld wasta know alla'bout'em, an' dat's how she an' Bim were: he did stuff an' she knowed alla background to whut he did. He stood in frunt ob pebble an' teached an' she stayed inna background, geddin' alla infortymashin for him. He presented stuff, an' she did alla lookin' stuff up for him. He published an' she wooked up alla fakts.

Maman sed it wassa good system.

But she sed dat mebbe dey wuldn't hafta wait for Phil to come to fix da ship afta all.

Becos ob alla years dat she spent inna background, she'd learned a wotta stuff dat nobun wuld hab thought, an' mebbe it was time for her to stawt doin' fings on her own, fora change.

So Maman putta "Kersage" on her desk, wif it's brokin masts an all, an she told da Dawg it was hokay, an' got Mouse back frum Dadda so Dadda culd see whut he culd do aboud gettin' Cokie's butt unstuck frum unner'neaf obba settee - an' don't'cha know Cokie was so upset by alla comoshun dat he hadda fit obba *horks* an' Dadda hadda spend some time pettin' him, so he wuld calm down an stop *horkin'*, but Cokie wuldn't stop *horkin'*, ob course, until Dadda went an' godda kitty tweat-box, an' den Cokie quit *horkin'*.

An' dat's da Big Trubble dat happined heer wast nite.

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 9:10 AM EDT
Tuesday, 17 May 2005
Sekond Post Obba Day - Important!
Mood:  smelly
Now Playing: Gas - I Need A Widdle Help Heer!
Topic: The Next Generation
Hokay, dis is sumfing I gotta know aboud, cos I don' unnerstand.

I was watchin' da Noos dis mornin' wif Maman. Well, axtchually, it was onna tellybishon an' it was called "Tiday", or "Good Day" or sumfing wif "day" innit, an' da hoomins onna show was talkin' aboud GAS an' how it costses so much munny.

An' Maman is sittin' dere inna Sittin' Room wif me, an' I'm sittin' onna settee wif her, anna Fat-Cat is sittin' in Dadda's Big Readin' Chair anna Dawg is spread out onna floor onna rug.

An' onna Tellybishon, dey are tawlkin' aboud GAS.

Well, as dey are talkin', alla suddin, da Dawg gets up frum sleepin' an' hassa wook at his tail. Den he, wike, sneeks a wook at me frum unnerneaf of his eyebrows, an' den he sneaks a wook atta Fat-Cat.

Anna Fat-Cat opins one eye an' stretches outta paw wif all ob his hooks pokin' out obbit.

An' den alla suddin', while I'm wigglin' my nose, I begin to smell sumfing.

An' it is nasty!

So I wook atta Dawg, an' I axt him, "Hey, Dawg, whuttaheckissat?"

Anna Dawg says, "I had sum cat-food."

An' alla suddin', da Fat-Cat sits up an' shakes an' wooks at Maman an' says, "She betta let you outside, Dawg, cos you STINK!

An' preddy soon Maman wooks at me wookin' atta Dawg an' she says, "George, dat can't be you!"

An' I wook at her an' say, "Nope, it sure isn't me cos I dunno whuttaheck dat was!"

Anna Dawg wooks at his tail again, an' says, "I fink I'm gonna moob. It's da chikin."

So I wook atta Dawg an' axt him, "Whutsamatta wif your back end dat you keep wookin' attit?"

"I got GAS." says da Dawg.

So I'm, wike, finkin' dis issa good fing, cos dey just was sayin' onna tellybishon dat GAS is so s'pensive, an' here we gots our berry own Dawg an' he's fulla GAS an' seems to be makin' more!

But Maman gets up frumma settee an' piks me up an' says toda Dawg, "You're goin' outside, Zachary-Marcus."

Anna Dawg says, "Yes, Ma'am." an' gets up an' follows behind Maman an' me as we go downnahall an' fru da Dinin' Room anna Kitchin an' innu da Bun Room. An' while we were passin' fru da Bun Room, Maman drops me off inna habbytat wif Missy.

So den Maman opins da door an' out goes da Dawg innu da Gardin'.

Anna Fat-Cat bumbles up an' Maman says to him, "Dere. Da Dawg's outside. Wet's hope he gets alla GAS outta his system out dere."

Anna Fat-cat is purrin' wike a big mixin' machine. An just afta he goes unnerneaf ob mine an' Missy's habbytat, he lifts up his tail an' says,


Which is cat-tawk for, "Wook at me! I gots GAS, too!"

An' den da Fat-Cat says, "Burrruck." which is cat-speak for: "I hadda chikin wast nite, too."

An Maman suddenly sniffs atta air, an she wooks down atta Fat-Cat an' hollers at'him, "Good Lord, Cokie! Go on, get upstairs to your pootie-box! You're going to suffocate the bunnies!"

Anna Fat-Cat wooks at her, and says, "Airrrr!" which is his way ob sayin' bad werds aboudda Dawg, an decids frum da wook on her face dat Maman issn't kiddin' 'bout goin' uppastairs. So he beats feets outta da Bun Room an heads forda stairs an' shambles on up.

An' Maman leebs da Bun Room mutterin' aboudda "... tell Brian - No more ob dat darned canned chikin cat-food!"

Which leebs me sittin' inna habbytat wif Missy. An Missy is sittin' wif her butt wedged inna pooty-box.

So I axted her, "You got enny ob dat GAS stuff innu?"

An' Missy wooks at me an wifts up wun ear all superior-wike, an' says,

"No. I'm a wady an' wadies don't ebber hab GAS. Not ebber. It's just a nasty boy-fing!"


So now I'm puzzled.

Cos iffa Fat-Cat has GAS, anna Dawg has GAS, an' GAS is such a s'pensib an' valuable commodity wike dey say it is onna tellybishon, den why is Maman wettin' alla GAS inna Fat-Cat anna Dawg an ebberybunny go outta da dem for free?

I mean, doesn't she wanna sell it? Or could we sell it an' ged rich?

Dadda sed dat if we culd sell Missy's pooties, we culd be rich. Dat's cos she has nice, round, big pooties. Dadda says dat Missy issa most 'ficient converter ob hay innu pooties dat he has ebber seed. An' he's seen a wotta pootie-converters, he says.

But for sum rezon, when Dadda says dis, Missy gets all mad an stuff.

But enneyways, I don' unnerstand enny ob dis stuff aboudda GAS!

Why do only Boyz habbit?

An' why issit so valuable?

An' why are dey tawkin' aboud GAS onna tellybishon? Don't dey hab enuf? Maybe we shuld send dem summa dat chikin cat-food?

An' why are our best sources ob GAS (an I know dis is troo cos Maman sed so!) - Why are our best sources ob GAS: Dadda, Phil, da Dawg an Cokie-da-Fat-Cat - just wettin' all obbit it woos innu da air for free? An'WHY is Maman wettin' dem!?

An' whuttaheck has chikin gotta do wiffit ennyways?

Enny help wuld be apprishyated, cos I am wun bewildered bunny!

-------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:38 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 17 May 2005 1:02 PM EDT
Good Mornin'!
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Catz, Dawgs an' Werk
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, we gots Cat-Pwoblems again.


I'm Uppystairs again inna Office an' just-as-soon-as I gotted heer, dere wassa Cat onna desk.

An' don't'cha know it wassa Stoopit Cat, da wun dat Maman calls "Beep".

So I'm hangin' on to Maman's shoulder (da wun dat werks), an' Maman says toda Stoopit Cat, "Moob, Beep."

Anna Stoopit Cat just wooks at her.

An' I'm finkin' to myself,

"You know, George, whut's goin' on heer, issa wot wike whut was happin' wast nite."

Cos, wast nite, I was goin' innu da Sittin' Room wif Maman, anna Fat-Cat was sittin' inna Dadda's Big Readin' Chair. An' Dadda comes in an says toda Fat-Cat, "Moob Cokie", an' stawts ta siddown inna Big Readin' Chair.

Anna Fat-Cat wooks up an he sees Dadda's bottom comin down anna Fat-Cat goes, "Yrulp", which is kinda da sound he makes to show he's not moobin'.

But da Dadda-butt keeps on comin' down. So den whenna Dadda-butt comes down onna Cokie-tail, da Fat-Cat wet's outta 'Yhawl' an' den 'Whah!' an' den flips ober an' sinks his claws innu Dadda's weg.

An den Dadda goes -

Well, I'm not 'lowed to say whut Dadda sed, cos he says it's Anglo-Saxon which is notta language dat bunny-boys are susposed to type.

Butta Fat-Cat got outta da Big Readin' Chair inna hurry an' Dadda got innu it, so you can kinda fill inna bwanks for yourself.

An' dat's whut I was finkin' 'bout when Maman putted me down onna tabul dat is her desk.

Cos just when she putted me down, da Stoopit Cat goes, "Eeep", just wike dat an hops down offa tabul, onto Maman's chair.

So Maman tips da chair butta Stoopit Cat hangs on. So Maman tips da chair again, anna Stoopit Cat still hangs on - onna count obba fakt datta Dawg is sittin' rite unnerneaf obba chair wif his grin on.

So Maman tips da chair again, an' just as she does, da Stoopit Cat puts outta paw, puts da paw onna Dawg's hed, an' usin' da Dawg assa steppin' stone, walks ober da Dawg's hed, down his nek an' ober his bak to ged toda floor.

Which causes da Dawg to turn hisself innu a tight cirkul, step on his own tail an' stumble, an hit his hed onna tabul leg, while da Stoopit Cat just walks away frumma Dawg wif her tail inna air, wike she don't care.

An' I'm finkin' dat it must be hard bein' a Dawg when nobunny takes you seriously, cept assa steppin' stool to ged frumma chair toda floor or uses you assa auxtillyairy amblatory rubbish bin to putta left-obers in, as happined wast nite wiffa remains obba pizza an' dat strand ob hay.

You see, yestidday da Dawg founded a strand ob hay onna floor inna Bun Room an' he eated it an' got sik.

Well, not rite away, it was more wike dis:

He ate da strand ob hay inna Bun Room, den trabbelled alla way uppastairs toda Office bifore he started making heebin-tummy noises, which alerted Maman toda fakt datta Dawg was just about gonna become sik. Dawgs are good dat way; dey gib you warnin' dat dey are gonna be sik.

So, wiffa Dawg's sides goin' in an' oud wike anna'cordion, da Dawg an' Maman came poundin' downastairs rilly fast, made da turn atta bottom obba stairs an' charged fru da Libbin Room, made anudder turn, an' hedded on fru da Dinin' Room, wiffa Dawg's sides still heebin', an' runned fru da Kitchin, an on fru toda Bun Room, wif Maman hollerin', "Come on! Wet's go outside!" (Wike da Dawg hadda'nudder pwace to go to, you know?) while she's tryin' wike mad to gedda bak-door unwocked. So she geds da door unwocked, an' pushes him out obbit, anna Dawg bounds out innu da Gardin an' geds sik.

An bifore you know it, he's back sittin' onna steps an barkin', wantin' to come inside, cos geddin' sik is wun-obba-fings dat Dawgs wike to do!

You know, you can fink you know a Dawg an' nebber ged to da end ob dere minds. Dis is mainly cos dey don't hab minds, but dat's anudder story.


An' so ennyways, here comes da sun, an Dadda has gone off to werk. It's not his reg'lar werk. His reg'lar werk is wif 'puters for da place he usta werk where dey habba machines that cuts steel. It's da same pwace where dat good hoomin named Kutee werks who knowed Our Hunny an' called him "A respected elder ob his peeble." Which I fink wassa berry nice fing to say aboud Hunny, cos it was troo.

So Dadda's noo werk is atta same pwace, but it's runnin' da big machines werkin' along wif Kutee, helpin' out cossa Kutee's an' Dadda's friend, Peter, has re-tired an' goed home to visit his warren somewhere far away. I don't know where Peter's warren is, but I hope dat Peter hassa happy time bein' dere, cos he's a good hoomin, too.

So Dadda issa onliest person datta pwace knew to call who culd run dose machines, as well as run da 'puters, an' an alla dat udder stuff dey need him tado, cos Our Dadda issa Engine-Wif-Ears, an berry 'Tellyginet.

An' you know whut else? Our Phil-da-Lad gotted a noo car! An' dis means dat he can come an' visit at Our Warren (cos Maman an' Dadda are geddin' too owd to go an' visit him an' 'Lanna onna'count ob Maman not bein' able to sit inna car dat wong.). So now dey can come to us inna Noo Car! Maman sed dere wassa wotta "buggerin' about" geddin' dis noo car, but you know whut I fink?

I fink dat dere is nuffin' dat geds done dat doesn't take a whole lotta buggerin' about onna pawt obba hoomins.

Some day, I will hab to write a blog aboud dis "Bugger Faktor" as Dadda calls it, but for now, dere issa sunbeam comin' in heer, so I fink I will just follow Hunny's adbice an' hab dis wisp ob hay an' habba nap.

--------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 7:16 AM EDT
Monday, 16 May 2005
A Noo Day
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Outta Winders
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, dis mornin' Maman piked me up outta my habbytat inna Bun Room an' wif her hand unner my frunt paws an' her udder hand unner'neaf my butt, she wooked me inna eye an' axt me,

"Babby George, do you hab ennyfings you wanna say inna blog tiday?"

An' I wooked at her wif my butt kinda rounded up inna air, an my nose wigglin', an my hextpression kinda dead-pan an' said,

"You gotta be kiddin' me. I habbin't hadda Blog to type in for weeks an' weeks, or habbin't you noticed?"

An' Maman sed, "I guess I habbin't bin listenin' to you, have I?"

An I ansured back, "No, you habbin't. Cos just aboudda onliest fing you bin listenin' to is when Missy an me pushed da pootie-box out inna middle obba habbytat yestidday, cos dat wun was so disgustin' we hadda hab it cleaned or else. You did hear dat, but dat's aboud all."

An don'chu'know dat just while I was sayin' dat, she was tryin' to lower me back innu da habbytat!

So I wiggled an kicked out wif my back feets, an hollarded out, "HEY! YOU AREN'T LISTENIN'!"

But she putted me down ennyways an' den turned toda Dawg dat was standin' dere, waggin' his tail an grinnin' an sed,

"You wanna go outside?"

Anna Dawg wagged his tail harder an' grinned more, an' shot a quick glance at me an sed, "Sorry, but I gotta habba morinin' bark. It'ssa Top Dawg fing. Gotta go out again, read'da Noos onna breeze, an' den bark my Noos to alla udder dawgs alla'round an den I'll be rite back in. It's Whut Dwags Do."

An I'm wike, "Yeah, whutebber.", an sat down to habba scratch at my ear.

So Maman opins da Back Door an' wets outta Dawg while I'm habbin' my scratch, an' shure enuf, da Dawg goes out onna back steps, an' stands dere fora few sekonds an' den shoots off wike a bwack-an'-white furry rokit, barkin' his stoopit hed off.

Anna breeze comes in fru da Back Door an' brings inna Smells Obba Neighbourhood to our Habbytats. I culdn't smell ennyfing speshul, just trees an' grass, anna squirr'ls dat lib inna trees an' was preddy much it. Dere is nuffin' to see outta'Back Door cos it is too high for us to see outta - we just catch a glimpse obba BlooSky an' mebbe a Cwoud now an' den, wike out our own Our Warren Memorial Winder wiff'its' Sun-Catchers-By-Shawn.

An' Maman shuts da door an' turns bak to me.

An' she says, "You wanna Blog, widdle Georgie?"

An' I'm wike, "Well, yeah. I only bin axtin' you ebbery day for wike, weeks, but you habbin't bin listenin'." while she's pikin' me uppa'gin.

So I put my paws on her shoulder (her good one, cossa udder one is no good to hang on to onna'count ob it gibs out on me when I put my paws ober it) an hang on, an' we walk fru da Dinin' Room, anna Libbin' Room, an' go Uppastairs innu da Office, which is where da 'puters are.

An' she sets me down onna green carpet an' I'm wike, "Whoa." Cossa wast time I was uphere inna Office, dere was boxes ob buks all ober da pwace, an now dere issn't. Whut dere is issa wong sofa fing dat hassa Cokie-da-Fat-Cat onnit, anna Big Desk dat smells wike Dadda, anna Tabul dat hassa'wotta Dadda's stuff onnit, anna metal tray-wike fing wif wegs Maman calls a "coffee tabul" dat has papers onnit, an' dere is Maman's big tabul wif buks an papers an anudder tabul wif her 'puter onnit. An bukshelbs! Whoa, I mean we're talkin' bukshelbes dat go alla waya'rounda room wif alla buks all lined up in rows afta rows!

An' on top ob alla dis stuff, dere issa'nudder door anna'nudder room, so I went hext'plorin' innu dere an' dere was justa'wotta furnitchur anna'nudder bafroom anna cat-pootie-box.

So I stopped an' ob course, weft a contribushun rite onna top. Belinda sed dat is only polite to leeb a contribushun rite onna top obba cat-pootie-box, an' I amma polite bunny-boy.

So I comed back innu da Office an hopped up onna chair wiffa arms dat is at Maman's 'puter tabul, an dere was her 'puter, hummin' away, an' her yucky coffee gettin' cold innit's cup, anna boddle ob wadder, anna stoopit-wookin' clay figgere'en holdin pencils anna box ob tisshoos dat hasn't bin chewed yet.

So I hopped up dere an' hadda wook, an' you know whut? Dere wassa winder! Yup. Rite dere - an it was OPIN! Justa widdle, but it was OPIN an' dere were Da Smells Obba Neighbourhood comin' in dat winder onna breeze!

So I sat down an' wooked, an' I culd see so far! I culd see da tops obba tree inna Frunt Gardin, anna mail-box atta kerb, an I culd see da dribeway where Dadda parks da Car, an I culd see da Houz Acrosst da Street! I culd see Ebberyfing frum dis winder! It was 'mazin'. Much nicer denna Back Door where da Dawg goes out ob, an' much more to see eben, den outta Our Warren Memorial Winder!

I culd ebben see da Bird Houzez inna trees inna Frunt Garden!

An' you know whut? Dere are birdies inna Bird Houzez! I seed'em flyin' in an' out! Widdle birdies flyin' in an' out wif widdle bits ob dis'n'dat inna widdle birdie-beeks. I fink datta birdies are buildin' homes inside obba widdle houzez.

Now issn't dat nice?

An' alla birdies is talkin' an chirpin' an' I culd ebben hear da Dawg barkin' inna Back Gardin, an' hear da Owd Dawg, Beau, who libs nextest door whufflin' to Our Marcus Dawg.

Anna smells comin' inna winder! I smelled da trees, anna flowers, anna street, anna garbage truck dat was crashin' arounn'a neighbourhood, anna Mail Truck wint by, stoppin' just wong enuf to put som stuff inna Mail Box atta kerb.

An' I culd see alla dis frumma winder inna Office, high inna sky.

So whutebber I was gonna blog aboud, I fink I fortygod aboud'dit onna'count ob wookin' outta winder an' seein' alla stuff dere is to see.

An' while I was watchin' alla dis goin' on, da mornin' cwouds moobed away frum each udder, anna sunbeem came out an' sailed rite fru da winder an' on to me!

So I axt you, does it ged enny bedder denna Spring Mornin, wookin outta opin winder?

I don't fink so!

Hey, Auntie Patwicia Na! Fank you for geddin' Maman to moob her butt!

---------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:06 AM EDT
Sunday, 10 April 2005
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Anudder Pause
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Belinda Bunny used her Blog to commint on Current Events. Axtually, she used it to tawk aboud whutebber came innu her hed furst, an a wotta whut came innu her hed had to do wif whut was goin' on inna werld in gen'ral.

Now, cos I am still a youngbun an' not quite as 'Tellygint as Belinda, I hab consintrated more on lernin' an sharin' infortymayshun, an not so much on sharin' my 'pinions on werld affairs. But just cos I don't share my 'pinions doesn't mean dat I don't hab 'pinions - just dat I don't share'em.

Know whut I mean?

Well, now I'm gonna share one ob my 'pinions.


Here goes:

Stoopit hoomins go ebberywheres.

Dat's rite. Dey do.

No madder where you go, you will run innu stoopit hoomins.

Now, you will notis dat bunnies sort of worry aboud becoming 'Tellygint - for us, bein' 'Tellygint issa Goal In Life. Dis is becos when you are a Prey Annymul, bein' stoopit is not a choice dat will grant you a long an' satisfaktory life. In fackt, bein' stoopit will just aboud allus gar-ran-tee dat you will habba short, nasty exsistance, followed by a terryfyin' end. So bein' stoopit is not whut you wuld call a good Life Choice for ennybunny.

Which is why 99.99999% obba bunnies opt for growin' 'Tellygint.

But hoomins don't. An ebberywheres you go inna werld you will find Stoopit Hoomins.

Now heer is why I fink dis:
1.) Dis mornin', while I was readin' da noospaper wif Maman, I finded dis HedLine: "No Hop For Older Rabbits". So I finked, "Whutdaheck is dis?" an heer wassa artykul sayin' aboud how hoomins were dumpin' dere older bunnies outside so dat dey culd "replace" dem wif cuter, young bunnies dey are findin' at Easter-time. Anna RSPCA, which issa Annymul Welfare Police in Inkwand, which issa YouNited Kingdom, was pickin' up alla bunnies dat dey culd and gettin' dem innu shelters where dey wuld be safe.

Now whut culd be stoopiter den dis? Hoomins wif perfektly good companion bunnies are dumpin' dem so dey can get udder, widdle bunnies? WHY? Dis is unbelieveably sad! To ged rid obba friend just to ged anudder one? It makes no sense. And it is cruel. Dees stoopit hoomins Do Not Deserb To Hab Companion Bunnies Nebber Again!. *THUMP* Dey deserb to hab sumfing painted on dere heds dat will stay dere forebber dat says, "Dis Issa Stoopit Person! Not Allowed to Hab Pets!"

So dere apparently are a wotta stoopit hoomins in Inkwand.

Da good noos is dat Dadda got outta dere bifore he got stoopit wike dem, cos I habba feelin' dat stoopitity is kinda wike a disease: it spreads.

But den, dere are a wotta stoopit hoomins inna pwace called Australia, an inna YouNited States, too, who dump bunnies at Easter Time.

I know. I wassa Dumped Easter Bunny. An I can tell you - bein' shut up inna box an bein' left OnAlone inna V-E-Ts' office is terryfyin'. You try it. It sucks.

2.) A nudder rezon why I fink dat hoomins allow too much stoopitity in dere species is dis: You know dat berry brave, berry kind Pope dat just crossed ober Da Rainbow Bridge? Yeah, him. John Paul (only he hadda nudder name bifore he was 'dopted assa Pope - sumtimes dis happins when you are 'dopted, dat you gedda noo name) crossed da Rainbow Bridge anna wotta hoomins gaddered togedder inna pwace called It'ly to lite candles for him an ebberyfing, to help lite his Pafway Toda Bridge. An den dere's dis Bishop, who has wike NO SENSITIBITY to ennyfing, an he hasta go an ged his name inna noospapers by speakin' ill obba Depawted.

Now whut's up wiff'at?

I mean, dere is plenty ob time for a hoomin to stand up an say, "Hey you. I don't wike whut you are doin'." when da person is alibe an can tawk aboud da rezons why dey are doin' whut dey're doin'. But to wait until dey are crossin da Rainbow Bridge an den shoutin' out, "Hey you!" - I mean dat's just poor manners, you know? So howcome dis Bishop of Litchfield is only bein' critical now? Mebbe cos da weight ob his Bishop's hat is, wike, compressin' his good sense? Or issit more impawtant for him to ged his face inna noospapers den to respeck sumbunny who he don't agree wif, but who at least was honest an forthright all his life?

You godda wonder, you know? So rite away, den, we gots Stoopit Hoomins in Inkwand, Australia, da YouNited Kingdom, anna YouNited States an den in It'ly.

3.) An heer's da Third Fing dat has me convinced dat hoomins are choosin stoopitity assa Life Goal: Dis Prince Charles an his bondmate, Camilla geddin married. Well, you know, when I found Missy, an made dat hole so I culd go see her alla time, I wassa Happy Bunny. An ebben doh I made a mess ob my habbytat en ebberyfing, an kept Maman an Dadda awake by singin' my Makin' A Hole song fru da nite, nobunny sed ennyfing nasty to me aboudd'it. Dey were happy dat I was happy.

So whuttsamatta wif dis Prince guy bein happy? An why does marryin' his bondmate make him unfit to beda King? An why issit ebberybunnies' biznezz ennyway? Udder Hares toda Thrown hab married "commoners" bifore (I wooked dis up in Maman's buks), an ebben had kids wiff'em dat dey gabe royalty names to (which seems to be how royalty geds made - by bein' aroun'na Kings an soforth) so maybe da ones dat is hollerin' da loudest are da ones who didn't gedda invite to share da Weddin' Nanner wiffa Happy Couple?

I just hate it when I see sumbun who is happy an ebberybunny goes to a lotta trubble to pour a lotta ants on dere picknick (as Maman says). Cos atta end obba story, all you find issa whole lotta envy goin' on - green-eyed monsters inna Noos repawters, tryin' to create trubble where dere is none just so dat ebberybun will buy dere story an make dem munnies. Mebbe when dat Charles guy gets to be King, dere will be sum changes made at dat BBC pwace an den da winders will be opined, an alla doors, anna Troof will be 'lowed to come outside for ebberybun to see.

Now wuldn't dat be sumfing? Just da Troof, wiffoud a dwessup in coloured clothes. Whoa. Now dere's a concept! Insted obba wotta "reality" stuff onna tellybishon, whut if we got to see "da Troof"?

Nahhh. We won't. Nobunny will, not ebber. Cos dere is no munny in axtin stoopit hoomins to form dere own 'pinions. Maman says it takes werk to fink up 'pinions, an sumtimes habbin' 'pinions can make a hoomin unpopular wif udder hoomins.

4.) Wike in Eye-Rak. More stoopit hoomins. Heer are a bunch ob hoomins tryin' to make a noo countree an 'lect a noo Top Bun. Hokay, dis is hard werk - belieb me, I know, cos when Hunny went to da Rainbow Bridge, we hab had trubble findin' OneBun to take ober bein' Top Bun heer. But in Eye-Rak, don't dees Stoopit Hoomins hab to go an habba Neggytib p'rade, complainin aboud how dey don't wike dis an dat? So, wike, if dey culd just ged togedder an 'lect a gobbermint ob sum kind, den alla udder hoomins dey don't wike wuld leeb ennyways.

So da ansur toda pwoblem is not to hold a p'rade wif critical floats an' re-enactmints an stuff, but to say whut dere guy can do dat is good forda countree an ged him 'lected so dey can help in buildin' da pwace back up.

Da ansur to enny pwoblem is not to compwain, but to do sumfing to help. If you don't godda idea aboud how to fix whut is wrong, den siddown an' shaddup an' wet sumbun else habba chance.

Issat so hard? Ushally ebberybun alreddy knows whut da pwoblems are. It's how to fix stuff dat has 'em confoozled. Cos you hab to grow 'Tellygint in order to fix stuff - stoopitity nebber fixed ennyfing.

So, by my count, we seem to hab stoopit hoomins in a wotta pwaces all ober da werld. In fackt, if you wook carefully atta noospapers, it seems wike stoopit hoomins are just aboud da onliest subjekt dat's bein' written aboud.

An' dis is disturbin, cos as ebbery rabbit knows - as ebbery prey annymul knows - bein' stoopid preddy much equals bein' dead inna neer footchur.

So, you know whut? I'd radder be 'Tellygint an werk at habbin 'pinions den be stoopit an den dead. Shure, it's easier to be stoopit; it's easier to be dead, too, but not much fun, an shure not berry useful.

So I'm gonna keep up werkin' on becomin' 'Tellygint, like Belinda told me. Cos choosin Life seems a whole lot bedder den choosin' to be dead.

------------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:56 AM EDT
Wednesday, 6 April 2005
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: We Innerrupt Dis DikShunAiry...
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

We innerupt dis DikShunAiry to bring you da followin rant...


Well, you know, yesterday aftanoon we was preddy much mindin our own biznezz inna Bun Room - habbin' sum hay an habbin' naps an' all wike reg'lar bunnies - when Maman comes in an says to Dadda,

"I smell pooties."

Well, as we saw it, dat's No Big Deal. Smellin' is whut you're susposed to do wif pooties, which is why we do them - to let udders know where our individual bounderies happin to be located. Leebin' pooties is like printin' your address onna atmospheric noospaper - ebberybun knows where you lib an dat's preddy much dat.

So Dadda comes innu da Bun Room an hassa sniff an he wooks at Maman an says,


An Maman goes to da hallway an brings out Mr Broom.

Well dis is No Big Deal eidder, cos she is allus geddin out Mr Broom an sweepin uppa Bun Room. It's Whut She Does. She sweeps up alla loose hay onna floor bifore da Stoopit Cat, Beep, can pik it up an carry it away to Udder Pawts Obba Houz (which is Whut She Does). An' Maman makes a pile ob un-eaten hay, stray pooties, lost pellets an kicked-out litter an den holds opin da Back Door an sweeps ebberyfing outta door - ushually on-toppa da Collie Dawg who happins to be comin' inna door when she is sweepin' stuff out, but dat's His Pwoblem an not Our Warren's.

So Mr Broom comin' out is No Big Deal.

Den Dadda gets da trash bin an Beebe-Bunny sees it furst an he calls out,


But since he's allus callin' out "YO!" nobunny pays him enny attenshun. Yellin' "YO!" is Whut He Does an' da rest ob us are used to it by now.

An den Mouse says,

"Uh oh..."

An we look up, cos Mouse don't ushally say dat.

An dere is Dadda wiffa trash bin.

An he says to Maman, "If we wheel Mouse out innu da middle obba floor, we can pull da bottom out..."

An wike he's sum kinda grocery cart, Dadda gwabs hold ob Mouse's apawtmint an pulls it out frumma wall innu da middle obba floor. An Dadda fiddles aroun' wiffa few clips, and gibs a tug, an da whole bottom ob Mouse's apawtmint pulls out frum unner him!

An dere is Mouse standin onna grate ob his cage, wookin down atta nekkid floor unnerneaf him!

Well, Mouse takes a BIG leap an lands in his pootie-box. At least he has solid ground unner his paws! He laid down dos pooties himself, so he knows dey are safe, but for how long? I mean, we all know dat pooties can pile high, but how long will dey last assa foundayshun fora radder well-built Nedderlands Dwarf Bunny-boy?

So Mouse is inna pootie-box, hangin' on for grim death wif big eyes.

An Maman an Dadda take da bottom ob his apawtmint downna hallway toda bafroom an dere issa sound ob lotsa wadder runnin.

An Missy lifts up her ears an says, "Oh no... hear dat?" an she back up inna hurry innu her pootie-box.

Da sound ob wadder runnin' can do dat to a bunny.

So den Maman an Dadda come back wiffa bottom ob Mouse's apawtmint an afta a wotta buggerin' about (as Hunny wuld say) dey getta bottom shoved back innu pwace.

So Mouse takes a step out ob his pootie-box an heer comes Maman wif Mr Broom!

So Mouse reverses gears an gets his butt back innu da pootie-box while Maman sweeps.

Den dat's done an Dadda wheels Mouse back innu his place.

An Mouse wooks down atta bottom ob his apawtmint an says,

"Dey taked my pooties!"

Well now. Dis is NOT cool. Speshully not when Mouse had gone to so much trubble to assemble such a good collectshun obb'em! I mean, dere was, wike, several days worf ob effort in dere and it was just gone, wike dat! Totally gone! Da whole bottom was bwight, shiney an completely cleen again. Just like noo.

An - ged dis - it didn't smell at all. Not one bit. Not ebbin faintly.

An Missy has her butt plugged firmly innu her pooti-box says to me,

"Tell me he issn't comin ober heer."

An I stood up an hadda wook, an shure enuf, heer comes Dadda toward me wif Maman behind him.

An Maman says, "You know, if we put summa dis stuff out onna garden, it will be good forda flowers if I rake it in."

An Dadda says, "Trubble is, dere is too much obbit. We put out alla dis stuff anna neighbours are gonna complain."

An Maman says, "You fink? We culd waid until Dark."

An Dadda says, "Well, I don't fink ebben Dark is gonna hide alla dis, ebben if we dump it all inna pond atta end obba garden."

And dere standin ober Missy an Me an wookin down. So I'm standin up wike I wanna pet, cos wookin cute ushally works to ged Maman to fortyged whutebber stupitidee she's currently workin on.

Bud not dis time.

Cos Dadda takes hold ob our apawtmint an rolls us out inna middle obba floor obba Bun Room an stawts tryin to pull outta bottom ob OUR apawtmint.

Only he can't.

Cos Missy is plugged innu her pootie-box, an I'm standin up down here by my pootie-box, so dere are two big bunnies atta end obba apawtmint, holdin ebberyfing down.

An Dadda says, "Wookit you two buggers..." An he pokes Missy's tail, but she don't moob. So he reaches in an puts his hand unnerneaf ob me an I kinda hop up an bounce down, which gibs me some spring offa da floor obba apawtmint, so I hop again, which gibs Missy a bounce an she comes unplugged frum her pootie-box an goes bouncin down da apawtmint, which gibs da floor some more preddy soon, we're bouncin UpAnDown cos we can't help ourselbs, onna'count obba floor bouncin wif us wike beans bouncin onna griddle.

An dere's Dadda, tryin to gwab hold obba bottom ob our apawtmint while we're bouncin wike beans an can't help ourselbes.

An rite aboud dat time, da whole bottom comes unstuck frum it's rails an sorta dwops all-at-once.

Well, Dadda catches it as it's goin' down, as Maman tries to gedda'hold obba'udder end, howebber, her shoulder don't werk too good, so ob course, she dwops her end ob fings an dere is hay an most ob our Winter coats all ober.

But Dadda managed to gwab hold obba main pawt which had most obba pooties.

So he said some werds inna speshul language he knows called "Anglo-Saxon" dat we Bunnies aren't susposed to know. Hunny knowed it, bud he sed I was too young to learn it. Da onliest werd I unnerstand innit issa werd, "bugger", which seems to appear quite a lot, so it must be an impawtant werd to be used so much.

So ennyways, I habba wook down an you know whut? All I saw unnerneaf ob my paws was FLOOR!

Dat was it! Da onliest fing between Missy an me fallin twoo foots to our deaths was dis bouncy floor ob our apawtmint. Who knew? I mean, dat all dat stood between us an disaster wassa bouncy sheet ob screen cobbered wif seagrass mats anna plastic slidy bottom!? No wonder Mouse had jumped innu his pootie-box when dey pulled his bottom out frum unner him!

Well, I tried gettin innu da pootie-box, too, but da ones dat we hab only accommie-date half-a-bunny ob my gen'ral size an shape. Missy an me aren't widdle Nedderland Dwarfs. Nope! We're wike large, ekonomy-sized rabbits ob gen'rous proporshuns! So when I got innu da pootie-box, I discobbered dat only da frunt pawt ob George fit - da whole back-end was hanging out. So I turned aroun an fit da back end in, but den da frunt end was hangin' out - so no madder how close togedder I put my feets, it didn't werk - dere was too much George an nod enuf pootie-box.

So I wooked ober at Missy an she was habbin da same trubble as me, only more obbit, cos she issa bigger bunny-gurl den me.


Den Maman an Dadda comed back wif our bottom an Dadda stawts to slide it back in...

An it won't go.

An Dadda says to Maman, "It won't fit."

An Maman wooks unnerneaf an axts, "Howcome?"

An Dadda says fru his teefs, "Cos we hab two lard-butt rabbits warping the whole bottom of the habitat. Look at that! See if you can get Missy up to your end and I'll keep George down here."

So Dadda pokes Missy inna butt an she stawts bouncin again. Well, don'cha know dat when Missy stawts bouncin again, dat bounces me, too. So she's bouncin UpAnDown, headin towards Maman, an here I go, rite along wif her!

An Dadda's yellin, "George! George! Dis Way!"

An I'm yellin bak at him, "Lookit, Stoopit, I'm doin' my best heer..." while I'm bouncin UpAnDown nextest to Missy.

An Missy lets outta wail ob, "I don't wike dis!" an WHAM she wets go wiffa extry hard *thump* that sends me aboud sebben inches up inna air.

So while I'm airborne, Dadda gibs da bottom a good, hard shove, anna fing slams innu pwace unner'neaf ob us - so dat when I come down, I can see da floor disappearin' anna bottom come back.

So dat was reassurin'.

An' now our apawtmint don't smell ob nuthin ennymore, just wike Mouse's.

Home Sweet Generic Home.

An den it's Clover an Beeb's turn.

Well, Beeb issa slob an Clover issa Ms Marfa Stewart obba Bunny Werld. Only Clover is honest and don't do enny Insider Trading an she's notta Fashunnazi or ennyfing wike dat. Hokay, so she's not Marfa Stewart, but she issa berry clean an organised bunny. In fact, Maman has nebber seed a bunny who keeps a houz wike Clover does.

Clover carries alla uneaten hay toda frunt obba apawtmint so Maman can sweep it out ebbery mornin. An Clover will push a dirty pooty-box toda frunt obba'pawtimint for Maman to clean, too. An Clover don't wike to hab toys in her wadder crock an will pike dem out if Beeb frows dem in. An Clover is berry, berry neat about allus usin' her litter-box. She nebber hassa akydent, whereas Beebe is just one mobile akydent dat keeps on happinin ober an ober.

So, it's wike Beeb will pootie an pee ebberywheres except inna pootie-box.

He calls dis "freedon frum tyranny" but Clover says it's just laziness an whumps his butt ebbery now an'den.

But he's deboted to her, an keeps her nicely groomed and lubly, so dat's good.

So Maman an Dadda wheeled dem out innu da middle obba floor an pulled dere bottom out frum unner dem.

Well, by dis time, as Clover sed, she had time to see whut eggakly was goin' on, so she wasn't too boddered aboud'it. But she is anudder BIG bunny gurl an she was parked atta end obba apawtmint, so Dadda poked her inna butt, too, just wike he poked Missy.

An Clover took a big hop anna floor bounced.

Well, Beebe issa WOT smaller den I am. He's whut you call a Hot-tot, which issa speshul kind ob sort ob Nedderlands Dwarfie-shaped bunny wif black ear-tips an black eye-liner onna primarily white bunny. In udder werds, he don't weigh more den four pounds soakin wet - which is aboud half ob whut Clover weighs. So, ob course, when she bounced down onna floor, he bounced up aboud twice as high. I mean, he rilly got some altytood goin'. Like, if he'd put his ears up, he culdda touched da top ob his apawtmint an Clover can only do dat if she stretches up on her hind-wegs on tippy-toe.

So when Clover gave dat hop, Beebe was off wike a rockit.

An "YO!" was wike aboud half ob whut he yelled onna way up. Da rest don't translate outta Lagomorphin. Anna good fing, too.

So afta awhile, dere bottom comed back an it had no smell at all.

So heer's my rant:

Bunnies go to a wotta trubble markin out dere terrytorry an makin it dere own. So howcome issit dat we are not 'loud to keep fings in our homes da way dat we want dem?

I mean, heer we are inna Noo Bun Room. We gots noo apawtmints, clean bottoms, clean pootie pans, clean crocks, clean wadder - clean ebberyfing - an we hab to stawt ALL OBER AGAIN, geddin fings back to da way we want'em. An whut happins nextest? Maman, Dadda an Mr Broom will be back. It's happined bifore an it will happin again.

How on Earf can you tell dat sumfing is yours if it don't smell wike you? I mean, dis has gotta stop. Clean is a good fing, I realise, but dis is goin' ober da top.


------- by George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:41 AM EDT
Monday, 4 April 2005
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: DikShunAiry (Continued)
Topic: Da Lore
Well, I hadda take a widdle break so I culd habba tawk wiffa udder bunnies inna Warren. I wanted to collect more werds an to make shure dat I habben't missed out on enny werds frumma beginin. Dis makin a DikShunAiry issa LOT harder den I thought it wuld be! Who knew dat we bunnies had so menny werds dat are unique toda Inkwish Language?

So ennyways, heer we go wif more werds...

identeefykayshun = recognizin who you are
impawtant = speshul, signiffygant, notable
inbenchon = a great idea sumbun thought up an made real.
indiggity = Belinda Bunny coined dis werd a long time ago. It means wiffoud dignity, not dignified.
Inkwish = comin frum Inkwand, which is pawt obba United Kingdom.
Inkwish Spot = a beyootiful kind of bunny, white wif black spots (or sumtimes, all black!) dat hassa LOT ob personality! Belinda Bunny wassa Inkwish Spot bunny an she hadda lotta 'pinions an commints to make aboud life an libbin assa Urban Rabbit.
inna = dis issa hard werd to describe, so I will use it inna sentance. Hey! Wook at dat! I just did!
innerestin = holds your 'tenshun
innu = opposit ob "out frum"
innypendant -ce = freedom
ishoo = topics ob discusshion.
issa = dis issa'nudder werd wike "inna". Try readin' da sentance out loud an you'll prob'ly geddit.
JUST-IN-CAD = Our Dadda's consultancy biznezz
justyfikayshun = habbin rite on your side
kitchin = berry impawtant room inna houz cos it's where da Big White Box wiffa food in is kept.
Lagomorph = correct genus for rabbits. We are NOT rodents! We are Lagomorphs!
leckted = when ebberybunny votes for you, you get 'leckted to a position.
lecktrick = power inna wall
lektrickal = sumfing dat werks by lektricks
liddle = small
lop = ears dat hang down
loppy = habbin lop or hangy-downy ears
lub -bly -bable/ -ing = care for da most inna whole werld an beyond.
luminiuminuminum = tin foil onna roll
Mawmie = sumbun who takes care ob you and teaches you to grow up an be 'Tellygint. I nebber hadda mawmie. I culdn't find her, ebben though I tried an tried. But I had Belinda Bunny who teached me, an Maman takes care ob me, an Missy-Bun is my lubly wife-bun.
mebbe = well, it could happin
menny = lots
mergency = urgent, inna hurry
miniLop = medium-size bunny wif short hangy-downy ears. "mini" doesn't mean datta bunny is small, just dat dey hab smaller ears.
missul = somefing you can fire off
mite = den again, it culd not happin, eidder
moor = not less
munny = papers dat hoomins exchange wif each udder to get fings we need. Hoomins fink it is berry impawtant. We don't.
nanners = long, yellow froot, berry tasty insides, wiffa nasty peel outsides.
nebber = not in dis lifetime.
nebbermind = don't werry abouddit.
nodis = seen sumfing forda furst time
nudder = not dis one but one ober dere
nummy = good to eat
ob = a partysipple meaning "frum" or "related to"
obba = ushually found wiffa werd "onna" (see below)
ober = go on top of, point in anudder direkshun; not heer, but ober dere.
odder = used in place ob udder
onna = ushually goes in frunt ob odder werds wike "account" so we can hab werds wike "onna'count obba fackt dat..."
OnAlone = Dis issa werd made up by Hunny. Bein' OnAlone issa werst fing dat can happin to a bunny. It means dat you are not pawt obba warren. Dere is nobunny whom you love, an nobunny to lub you; nobunny to care for you, an you don't care about ennybunny. Nobunny ebber wants to be OnAlone, not ebber. Dis is why ebberybunny who comes to Our Warren is nebber again OnAlone, but becomes pawt ob Our Warren.
onliest = all by itself, OnAlone; can also mean "unique" and/or special, too.
paw = your foot
pawtee = a sellybrashun wif good food, dancin', games an more good food
pinions = your own ideas
possytib = absolutly 100% shure
pra'ps = mebbe
pubwick = in society, not private
puter = machine that runs on lecktricks that we type on to communnykate wif each udder. Dis inbenchon has rebelooshunized rabbit society by gibbin us, who prebiously had no voice, a means ob beng heard around da werld.
pwoud = takin pride in sumfing, not ashamed
questshun = sumfing you axt (can also be spelled "qwestshun", dependin onna bunny).
questriann = hoomins ridin on horses
questin = searchin' journey

And dat's alla werds I can type for tiday. I will add da rest obb'em tomorry.

--------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:52 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 4 April 2005 1:19 PM EDT

Newer | Latest | Older