Sekond Post Obba Day - Important!
Mood:  smelly
Now Playing: Gas - I Need A Widdle Help Heer!
Topic: The Next Generation
Hokay, dis is sumfing I gotta know aboud, cos I don' unnerstand.

I was watchin' da Noos dis mornin' wif Maman. Well, axtchually, it was onna tellybishon an' it was called "Tiday", or "Good Day" or sumfing wif "day" innit, an' da hoomins onna show was talkin' aboud GAS an' how it costses so much munny.

An' Maman is sittin' dere inna Sittin' Room wif me, an' I'm sittin' onna settee wif her, anna Fat-Cat is sittin' in Dadda's Big Readin' Chair anna Dawg is spread out onna floor onna rug.

An' onna Tellybishon, dey are tawlkin' aboud GAS.

Well, as dey are talkin', alla suddin, da Dawg gets up frum sleepin' an' hassa wook at his tail. Den he, wike, sneeks a wook at me frum unnerneaf of his eyebrows, an' den he sneaks a wook atta Fat-Cat.

Anna Fat-Cat opins one eye an' stretches outta paw wif all ob his hooks pokin' out obbit.

An' den alla suddin', while I'm wigglin' my nose, I begin to smell sumfing.

An' it is nasty!

So I wook atta Dawg, an' I axt him, "Hey, Dawg, whuttaheckissat?"

Anna Dawg says, "I had sum cat-food."

An' alla suddin', da Fat-Cat sits up an' shakes an' wooks at Maman an' says, "She betta let you outside, Dawg, cos you STINK!

An' preddy soon Maman wooks at me wookin' atta Dawg an' she says, "George, dat can't be you!"

An' I wook at her an' say, "Nope, it sure isn't me cos I dunno whuttaheck dat was!"

Anna Dawg wooks at his tail again, an' says, "I fink I'm gonna moob. It's da chikin."

So I wook atta Dawg an' axt him, "Whutsamatta wif your back end dat you keep wookin' attit?"

"I got GAS." says da Dawg.

So I'm, wike, finkin' dis issa good fing, cos dey just was sayin' onna tellybishon dat GAS is so s'pensive, an' here we gots our berry own Dawg an' he's fulla GAS an' seems to be makin' more!

But Maman gets up frumma settee an' piks me up an' says toda Dawg, "You're goin' outside, Zachary-Marcus."

Anna Dawg says, "Yes, Ma'am." an' gets up an' follows behind Maman an' me as we go downnahall an' fru da Dinin' Room anna Kitchin an' innu da Bun Room. An' while we were passin' fru da Bun Room, Maman drops me off inna habbytat wif Missy.

So den Maman opins da door an' out goes da Dawg innu da Gardin'.

Anna Fat-Cat bumbles up an' Maman says to him, "Dere. Da Dawg's outside. Wet's hope he gets alla GAS outta his system out dere."

Anna Fat-cat is purrin' wike a big mixin' machine. An just afta he goes unnerneaf ob mine an' Missy's habbytat, he lifts up his tail an' says,

"Yruul"

Which is cat-tawk for, "Wook at me! I gots GAS, too!"

An' den da Fat-Cat says, "Burrruck." which is cat-speak for: "I hadda chikin wast nite, too."

An Maman suddenly sniffs atta air, an she wooks down atta Fat-Cat an' hollers at'him, "Good Lord, Cokie! Go on, get upstairs to your pootie-box! You're going to suffocate the bunnies!"

Anna Fat-Cat wooks at her, and says, "Airrrr!" which is his way ob sayin' bad werds aboudda Dawg, an decids frum da wook on her face dat Maman issn't kiddin' 'bout goin' uppastairs. So he beats feets outta da Bun Room an heads forda stairs an' shambles on up.

An' Maman leebs da Bun Room mutterin' aboudda "... tell Brian - No more ob dat darned canned chikin cat-food!"

Which leebs me sittin' inna habbytat wif Missy. An Missy is sittin' wif her butt wedged inna pooty-box.

So I axted her, "You got enny ob dat GAS stuff innu?"

An' Missy wooks at me an wifts up wun ear all superior-wike, an' says,

"No. I'm a wady an' wadies don't ebber hab GAS. Not ebber. It's just a nasty boy-fing!"

Hmmm.

So now I'm puzzled.

Cos iffa Fat-Cat has GAS, anna Dawg has GAS, an' GAS is such a s'pensib an' valuable commodity wike dey say it is onna tellybishon, den why is Maman wettin' alla GAS inna Fat-Cat anna Dawg an ebberybunny go outta da dem for free?

I mean, doesn't she wanna sell it? Or could we sell it an' ged rich?

Dadda sed dat if we culd sell Missy's pooties, we culd be rich. Dat's cos she has nice, round, big pooties. Dadda says dat Missy issa most 'ficient converter ob hay innu pooties dat he has ebber seed. An' he's seen a wotta pootie-converters, he says.

But for sum rezon, when Dadda says dis, Missy gets all mad an stuff.

But enneyways, I don' unnerstand enny ob dis stuff aboudda GAS!

Why do only Boyz habbit?

An' why issit so valuable?

An' why are dey tawkin' aboud GAS onna tellybishon? Don't dey hab enuf? Maybe we shuld send dem summa dat chikin cat-food?

An' why are our best sources ob GAS (an I know dis is troo cos Maman sed so!) - Why are our best sources ob GAS: Dadda, Phil, da Dawg an Cokie-da-Fat-Cat - just wettin' all obbit it woos innu da air for free? An'WHY is Maman wettin' dem!?

An' whuttaheck has chikin gotta do wiffit ennyways?

Enny help wuld be apprishyated, cos I am wun bewildered bunny!

-------- By George

Good Mornin'!
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Catz, Dawgs an' Werk
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, we gots Cat-Pwoblems again.

Yeah.

I'm Uppystairs again inna Office an' just-as-soon-as I gotted heer, dere wassa Cat onna desk.

An' don't'cha know it wassa Stoopit Cat, da wun dat Maman calls "Beep".

So I'm hangin' on to Maman's shoulder (da wun dat werks), an' Maman says toda Stoopit Cat, "Moob, Beep."

Anna Stoopit Cat just wooks at her.

An' I'm finkin' to myself,

"You know, George, whut's goin' on heer, issa wot wike whut was happin' wast nite."

Cos, wast nite, I was goin' innu da Sittin' Room wif Maman, anna Fat-Cat was sittin' inna Dadda's Big Readin' Chair. An' Dadda comes in an says toda Fat-Cat, "Moob Cokie", an' stawts ta siddown inna Big Readin' Chair.

Anna Fat-Cat wooks up an he sees Dadda's bottom comin down anna Fat-Cat goes, "Yrulp", which is kinda da sound he makes to show he's not moobin'.

But da Dadda-butt keeps on comin' down. So den whenna Dadda-butt comes down onna Cokie-tail, da Fat-Cat wet's outta 'Yhawl' an' den 'Whah!' an' den flips ober an' sinks his claws innu Dadda's weg.

An den Dadda goes -

Well, I'm not 'lowed to say whut Dadda sed, cos he says it's Anglo-Saxon which is notta language dat bunny-boys are susposed to type.

Butta Fat-Cat got outta da Big Readin' Chair inna hurry an' Dadda got innu it, so you can kinda fill inna bwanks for yourself.

An' dat's whut I was finkin' 'bout when Maman putted me down onna tabul dat is her desk.

Cos just when she putted me down, da Stoopit Cat goes, "Eeep", just wike dat an hops down offa tabul, onto Maman's chair.

So Maman tips da chair butta Stoopit Cat hangs on. So Maman tips da chair again, anna Stoopit Cat still hangs on - onna count obba fakt datta Dawg is sittin' rite unnerneaf obba chair wif his grin on.

So Maman tips da chair again, an' just as she does, da Stoopit Cat puts outta paw, puts da paw onna Dawg's hed, an' usin' da Dawg assa steppin' stone, walks ober da Dawg's hed, down his nek an' ober his bak to ged toda floor.

Which causes da Dawg to turn hisself innu a tight cirkul, step on his own tail an' stumble, an hit his hed onna tabul leg, while da Stoopit Cat just walks away frumma Dawg wif her tail inna air, wike she don't care.

An' I'm finkin' dat it must be hard bein' a Dawg when nobunny takes you seriously, cept assa steppin' stool to ged frumma chair toda floor or uses you assa auxtillyairy amblatory rubbish bin to putta left-obers in, as happined wast nite wiffa remains obba pizza an' dat strand ob hay.

You see, yestidday da Dawg founded a strand ob hay onna floor inna Bun Room an' he eated it an' got sik.

Well, not rite away, it was more wike dis:

He ate da strand ob hay inna Bun Room, den trabbelled alla way uppastairs toda Office bifore he started making heebin-tummy noises, which alerted Maman toda fakt datta Dawg was just about gonna become sik. Dawgs are good dat way; dey gib you warnin' dat dey are gonna be sik.

So, wiffa Dawg's sides goin' in an' oud wike anna'cordion, da Dawg an' Maman came poundin' downastairs rilly fast, made da turn atta bottom obba stairs an' charged fru da Libbin Room, made anudder turn, an' hedded on fru da Dinin' Room, wiffa Dawg's sides still heebin', an' runned fru da Kitchin, an on fru toda Bun Room, wif Maman hollerin', "Come on! Wet's go outside!" (Wike da Dawg hadda'nudder pwace to go to, you know?) while she's tryin' wike mad to gedda bak-door unwocked. So she geds da door unwocked, an' pushes him out obbit, anna Dawg bounds out innu da Gardin an' geds sik.

An bifore you know it, he's back sittin' onna steps an barkin', wantin' to come inside, cos geddin' sik is wun-obba-fings dat Dawgs wike to do!

You know, you can fink you know a Dawg an' nebber ged to da end ob dere minds. Dis is mainly cos dey don't hab minds, but dat's anudder story.

Yeah.

An' so ennyways, here comes da sun, an Dadda has gone off to werk. It's not his reg'lar werk. His reg'lar werk is wif 'puters for da place he usta werk where dey habba machines that cuts steel. It's da same pwace where dat good hoomin named Kutee werks who knowed Our Hunny an' called him "A respected elder ob his peeble." Which I fink wassa berry nice fing to say aboud Hunny, cos it was troo.

So Dadda's noo werk is atta same pwace, but it's runnin' da big machines werkin' along wif Kutee, helpin' out cossa Kutee's an' Dadda's friend, Peter, has re-tired an' goed home to visit his warren somewhere far away. I don't know where Peter's warren is, but I hope dat Peter hassa happy time bein' dere, cos he's a good hoomin, too.

So Dadda issa onliest person datta pwace knew to call who culd run dose machines, as well as run da 'puters, an' an alla dat udder stuff dey need him tado, cos Our Dadda issa Engine-Wif-Ears, an berry 'Tellyginet.

An' you know whut else? Our Phil-da-Lad gotted a noo car! An' dis means dat he can come an' visit at Our Warren (cos Maman an' Dadda are geddin' too owd to go an' visit him an' 'Lanna onna'count ob Maman not bein' able to sit inna car dat wong.). So now dey can come to us inna Noo Car! Maman sed dere wassa wotta "buggerin' about" geddin' dis noo car, but you know whut I fink?

I fink dat dere is nuffin' dat geds done dat doesn't take a whole lotta buggerin' about onna pawt obba hoomins.

Some day, I will hab to write a blog aboud dis "Bugger Faktor" as Dadda calls it, but for now, dere issa sunbeam comin' in heer, so I fink I will just follow Hunny's adbice an' hab dis wisp ob hay an' habba nap.

--------By George

A Noo Day
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Outta Winders
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, dis mornin' Maman piked me up outta my habbytat inna Bun Room an' wif her hand unner my frunt paws an' her udder hand unner'neaf my butt, she wooked me inna eye an' axt me,

"Babby George, do you hab ennyfings you wanna say inna blog tiday?"

An' I wooked at her wif my butt kinda rounded up inna air, an my nose wigglin', an my hextpression kinda dead-pan an' said,

"You gotta be kiddin' me. I habbin't hadda Blog to type in for weeks an' weeks, or habbin't you noticed?"

An' Maman sed, "I guess I habbin't bin listenin' to you, have I?"

An I ansured back, "No, you habbin't. Cos just aboudda onliest fing you bin listenin' to is when Missy an me pushed da pootie-box out inna middle obba habbytat yestidday, cos dat wun was so disgustin' we hadda hab it cleaned or else. You did hear dat, but dat's aboud all."

An don'chu'know dat just while I was sayin' dat, she was tryin' to lower me back innu da habbytat!

So I wiggled an kicked out wif my back feets, an hollarded out, "HEY! YOU AREN'T LISTENIN'!"

But she putted me down ennyways an' den turned toda Dawg dat was standin' dere, waggin' his tail an grinnin' an sed,

"You wanna go outside?"

Anna Dawg wagged his tail harder an' grinned more, an' shot a quick glance at me an sed, "Sorry, but I gotta habba morinin' bark. It'ssa Top Dawg fing. Gotta go out again, read'da Noos onna breeze, an' den bark my Noos to alla udder dawgs alla'round an den I'll be rite back in. It's Whut Dwags Do."

An I'm wike, "Yeah, whutebber.", an sat down to habba scratch at my ear.

So Maman opins da Back Door an' wets outta Dawg while I'm habbin' my scratch, an' shure enuf, da Dawg goes out onna back steps, an' stands dere fora few sekonds an' den shoots off wike a bwack-an'-white furry rokit, barkin' his stoopit hed off.

Anna breeze comes in fru da Back Door an' brings inna Smells Obba Neighbourhood to our Habbytats. I culdn't smell ennyfing speshul, just trees an' grass, anna squirr'ls dat lib inna trees an' was preddy much it. Dere is nuffin' to see outta'Back Door cos it is too high for us to see outta - we just catch a glimpse obba BlooSky an' mebbe a Cwoud now an' den, wike out our own Our Warren Memorial Winder wiff'its' Sun-Catchers-By-Shawn.

An' Maman shuts da door an' turns bak to me.

An' she says, "You wanna Blog, widdle Georgie?"

An' I'm wike, "Well, yeah. I only bin axtin' you ebbery day for wike, weeks, but you habbin't bin listenin'." while she's pikin' me uppa'gin.

So I put my paws on her shoulder (her good one, cossa udder one is no good to hang on to onna'count ob it gibs out on me when I put my paws ober it) an hang on, an' we walk fru da Dinin' Room, anna Libbin' Room, an' go Uppastairs innu da Office, which is where da 'puters are.

An' she sets me down onna green carpet an' I'm wike, "Whoa." Cossa wast time I was uphere inna Office, dere was boxes ob buks all ober da pwace, an now dere issn't. Whut dere is issa wong sofa fing dat hassa Cokie-da-Fat-Cat onnit, anna Big Desk dat smells wike Dadda, anna Tabul dat hassa'wotta Dadda's stuff onnit, anna metal tray-wike fing wif wegs Maman calls a "coffee tabul" dat has papers onnit, an' dere is Maman's big tabul wif buks an papers an anudder tabul wif her 'puter onnit. An bukshelbs! Whoa, I mean we're talkin' bukshelbes dat go alla waya'rounda room wif alla buks all lined up in rows afta rows!

An' on top ob alla dis stuff, dere issa'nudder door anna'nudder room, so I went hext'plorin' innu dere an' dere was justa'wotta furnitchur anna'nudder bafroom anna cat-pootie-box.

So I stopped an' ob course, weft a contribushun rite onna top. Belinda sed dat is only polite to leeb a contribushun rite onna top obba cat-pootie-box, an' I amma polite bunny-boy.

So I comed back innu da Office an hopped up onna chair wiffa arms dat is at Maman's 'puter tabul, an dere was her 'puter, hummin' away, an' her yucky coffee gettin' cold innit's cup, anna boddle ob wadder, anna stoopit-wookin' clay figgere'en holdin pencils anna box ob tisshoos dat hasn't bin chewed yet.

So I hopped up dere an' hadda wook, an' you know whut? Dere wassa winder! Yup. Rite dere - an it was OPIN! Justa widdle, but it was OPIN an' dere were Da Smells Obba Neighbourhood comin' in dat winder onna breeze!

So I sat down an' wooked, an' I culd see so far! I culd see da tops obba tree inna Frunt Gardin, anna mail-box atta kerb, an I culd see da dribeway where Dadda parks da Car, an I culd see da Houz Acrosst da Street! I culd see Ebberyfing frum dis winder! It was 'mazin'. Much nicer denna Back Door where da Dawg goes out ob, an' much more to see eben, den outta Our Warren Memorial Winder!

I culd ebben see da Bird Houzez inna trees inna Frunt Garden!

An' you know whut? Dere are birdies inna Bird Houzez! I seed'em flyin' in an' out! Widdle birdies flyin' in an' out wif widdle bits ob dis'n'dat inna widdle birdie-beeks. I fink datta birdies are buildin' homes inside obba widdle houzez.

Now issn't dat nice?

An' alla birdies is talkin' an chirpin' an' I culd ebben hear da Dawg barkin' inna Back Gardin, an' hear da Owd Dawg, Beau, who libs nextest door whufflin' to Our Marcus Dawg.

Anna smells comin' inna winder! I smelled da trees, anna flowers, anna street, anna garbage truck dat was crashin' arounn'a neighbourhood, anna Mail Truck wint by, stoppin' just wong enuf to put som stuff inna Mail Box atta kerb.

An' I culd see alla dis frumma winder inna Office, high inna sky.

So whutebber I was gonna blog aboud, I fink I fortygod aboud'dit onna'count ob wookin' outta winder an' seein' alla stuff dere is to see.

An' while I was watchin' alla dis goin' on, da mornin' cwouds moobed away frum each udder, anna sunbeem came out an' sailed rite fru da winder an' on to me!

So I axt you, does it ged enny bedder denna Spring Mornin, wookin outta opin winder?

I don't fink so!

Hey, Auntie Patwicia Na! Fank you for geddin' Maman to moob her butt!

---------By George

ComunnyKayShun
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Anudder Pause
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Belinda Bunny used her Blog to commint on Current Events. Axtually, she used it to tawk aboud whutebber came innu her hed furst, an a wotta whut came innu her hed had to do wif whut was goin' on inna werld in gen'ral.

Now, cos I am still a youngbun an' not quite as 'Tellygint as Belinda, I hab consintrated more on lernin' an sharin' infortymayshun, an not so much on sharin' my 'pinions on werld affairs. But just cos I don't share my 'pinions doesn't mean dat I don't hab 'pinions - just dat I don't share'em.

Know whut I mean?

Well, now I'm gonna share one ob my 'pinions.

Ready?

Here goes:

Stoopit hoomins go ebberywheres.

Dat's rite. Dey do.

No madder where you go, you will run innu stoopit hoomins.

Now, you will notis dat bunnies sort of worry aboud becoming 'Tellygint - for us, bein' 'Tellygint issa Goal In Life. Dis is becos when you are a Prey Annymul, bein' stoopit is not a choice dat will grant you a long an' satisfaktory life. In fackt, bein' stoopit will just aboud allus gar-ran-tee dat you will habba short, nasty exsistance, followed by a terryfyin' end. So bein' stoopit is not whut you wuld call a good Life Choice for ennybunny.

Which is why 99.99999% obba bunnies opt for growin' 'Tellygint.

But hoomins don't. An ebberywheres you go inna werld you will find Stoopit Hoomins.

Now heer is why I fink dis:
1.) Dis mornin', while I was readin' da noospaper wif Maman, I finded dis HedLine: "No Hop For Older Rabbits". So I finked, "Whutdaheck is dis?" an heer wassa artykul sayin' aboud how hoomins were dumpin' dere older bunnies outside so dat dey culd "replace" dem wif cuter, young bunnies dey are findin' at Easter-time. Anna RSPCA, which issa Annymul Welfare Police in Inkwand, which issa YouNited Kingdom, was pickin' up alla bunnies dat dey culd and gettin' dem innu shelters where dey wuld be safe.

Now whut culd be stoopiter den dis? Hoomins wif perfektly good companion bunnies are dumpin' dem so dey can get udder, widdle bunnies? WHY? Dis is unbelieveably sad! To ged rid obba friend just to ged anudder one? It makes no sense. And it is cruel. Dees stoopit hoomins Do Not Deserb To Hab Companion Bunnies Nebber Again!. *THUMP* Dey deserb to hab sumfing painted on dere heds dat will stay dere forebber dat says, "Dis Issa Stoopit Person! Not Allowed to Hab Pets!"

So dere apparently are a wotta stoopit hoomins in Inkwand.

Da good noos is dat Dadda got outta dere bifore he got stoopit wike dem, cos I habba feelin' dat stoopitity is kinda wike a disease: it spreads.

But den, dere are a wotta stoopit hoomins inna pwace called Australia, an inna YouNited States, too, who dump bunnies at Easter Time.

I know. I wassa Dumped Easter Bunny. An I can tell you - bein' shut up inna box an bein' left OnAlone inna V-E-Ts' office is terryfyin'. You try it. It sucks.

2.) A nudder rezon why I fink dat hoomins allow too much stoopitity in dere species is dis: You know dat berry brave, berry kind Pope dat just crossed ober Da Rainbow Bridge? Yeah, him. John Paul (only he hadda nudder name bifore he was 'dopted assa Pope - sumtimes dis happins when you are 'dopted, dat you gedda noo name) crossed da Rainbow Bridge anna wotta hoomins gaddered togedder inna pwace called It'ly to lite candles for him an ebberyfing, to help lite his Pafway Toda Bridge. An den dere's dis Bishop, who has wike NO SENSITIBITY to ennyfing, an he hasta go an ged his name inna noospapers by speakin' ill obba Depawted.

Now whut's up wiff'at?

I mean, dere is plenty ob time for a hoomin to stand up an say, "Hey you. I don't wike whut you are doin'." when da person is alibe an can tawk aboud da rezons why dey are doin' whut dey're doin'. But to wait until dey are crossin da Rainbow Bridge an den shoutin' out, "Hey you!" - I mean dat's just poor manners, you know? So howcome dis Bishop of Litchfield is only bein' critical now? Mebbe cos da weight ob his Bishop's hat is, wike, compressin' his good sense? Or issit more impawtant for him to ged his face inna noospapers den to respeck sumbunny who he don't agree wif, but who at least was honest an forthright all his life?

You godda wonder, you know? So rite away, den, we gots Stoopit Hoomins in Inkwand, Australia, da YouNited Kingdom, anna YouNited States an den in It'ly.

3.) An heer's da Third Fing dat has me convinced dat hoomins are choosin stoopitity assa Life Goal: Dis Prince Charles an his bondmate, Camilla geddin married. Well, you know, when I found Missy, an made dat hole so I culd go see her alla time, I wassa Happy Bunny. An ebben doh I made a mess ob my habbytat en ebberyfing, an kept Maman an Dadda awake by singin' my Makin' A Hole song fru da nite, nobunny sed ennyfing nasty to me aboudd'it. Dey were happy dat I was happy.

So whuttsamatta wif dis Prince guy bein happy? An why does marryin' his bondmate make him unfit to beda King? An why issit ebberybunnies' biznezz ennyway? Udder Hares toda Thrown hab married "commoners" bifore (I wooked dis up in Maman's buks), an ebben had kids wiff'em dat dey gabe royalty names to (which seems to be how royalty geds made - by bein' aroun'na Kings an soforth) so maybe da ones dat is hollerin' da loudest are da ones who didn't gedda invite to share da Weddin' Nanner wiffa Happy Couple?

I just hate it when I see sumbun who is happy an ebberybunny goes to a lotta trubble to pour a lotta ants on dere picknick (as Maman says). Cos atta end obba story, all you find issa whole lotta envy goin' on - green-eyed monsters inna Noos repawters, tryin' to create trubble where dere is none just so dat ebberybun will buy dere story an make dem munnies. Mebbe when dat Charles guy gets to be King, dere will be sum changes made at dat BBC pwace an den da winders will be opined, an alla doors, anna Troof will be 'lowed to come outside for ebberybun to see.

Now wuldn't dat be sumfing? Just da Troof, wiffoud a dwessup in coloured clothes. Whoa. Now dere's a concept! Insted obba wotta "reality" stuff onna tellybishon, whut if we got to see "da Troof"?

Nahhh. We won't. Nobunny will, not ebber. Cos dere is no munny in axtin stoopit hoomins to form dere own 'pinions. Maman says it takes werk to fink up 'pinions, an sumtimes habbin' 'pinions can make a hoomin unpopular wif udder hoomins.

4.) Wike in Eye-Rak. More stoopit hoomins. Heer are a bunch ob hoomins tryin' to make a noo countree an 'lect a noo Top Bun. Hokay, dis is hard werk - belieb me, I know, cos when Hunny went to da Rainbow Bridge, we hab had trubble findin' OneBun to take ober bein' Top Bun heer. But in Eye-Rak, don't dees Stoopit Hoomins hab to go an habba Neggytib p'rade, complainin aboud how dey don't wike dis an dat? So, wike, if dey culd just ged togedder an 'lect a gobbermint ob sum kind, den alla udder hoomins dey don't wike wuld leeb ennyways.

So da ansur toda pwoblem is not to hold a p'rade wif critical floats an' re-enactmints an stuff, but to say whut dere guy can do dat is good forda countree an ged him 'lected so dey can help in buildin' da pwace back up.

Da ansur to enny pwoblem is not to compwain, but to do sumfing to help. If you don't godda idea aboud how to fix whut is wrong, den siddown an' shaddup an' wet sumbun else habba chance.

Issat so hard? Ushally ebberybun alreddy knows whut da pwoblems are. It's how to fix stuff dat has 'em confoozled. Cos you hab to grow 'Tellygint in order to fix stuff - stoopitity nebber fixed ennyfing.

So, by my count, we seem to hab stoopit hoomins in a wotta pwaces all ober da werld. In fackt, if you wook carefully atta noospapers, it seems wike stoopit hoomins are just aboud da onliest subjekt dat's bein' written aboud.

An' dis is disturbin, cos as ebbery rabbit knows - as ebbery prey annymul knows - bein' stoopid preddy much equals bein' dead inna neer footchur.

So, you know whut? I'd radder be 'Tellygint an werk at habbin 'pinions den be stoopit an den dead. Shure, it's easier to be stoopit; it's easier to be dead, too, but not much fun, an shure not berry useful.

So I'm gonna keep up werkin' on becomin' 'Tellygint, like Belinda told me. Cos choosin Life seems a whole lot bedder den choosin' to be dead.

------------By George

CommunnyKayShun
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: We Innerrupt Dis DikShunAiry...
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

We innerupt dis DikShunAiry to bring you da followin rant...

Yeah.

Well, you know, yesterday aftanoon we was preddy much mindin our own biznezz inna Bun Room - habbin' sum hay an habbin' naps an' all wike reg'lar bunnies - when Maman comes in an says to Dadda,

"I smell pooties."

Well, as we saw it, dat's No Big Deal. Smellin' is whut you're susposed to do wif pooties, which is why we do them - to let udders know where our individual bounderies happin to be located. Leebin' pooties is like printin' your address onna atmospheric noospaper - ebberybun knows where you lib an dat's preddy much dat.

So Dadda comes innu da Bun Room an hassa sniff an he wooks at Maman an says,

"Yeah."

An Maman goes to da hallway an brings out Mr Broom.

Well dis is No Big Deal eidder, cos she is allus geddin out Mr Broom an sweepin uppa Bun Room. It's Whut She Does. She sweeps up alla loose hay onna floor bifore da Stoopit Cat, Beep, can pik it up an carry it away to Udder Pawts Obba Houz (which is Whut She Does). An' Maman makes a pile ob un-eaten hay, stray pooties, lost pellets an kicked-out litter an den holds opin da Back Door an sweeps ebberyfing outta door - ushually on-toppa da Collie Dawg who happins to be comin' inna door when she is sweepin' stuff out, but dat's His Pwoblem an not Our Warren's.

So Mr Broom comin' out is No Big Deal.

Den Dadda gets da trash bin an Beebe-Bunny sees it furst an he calls out,

"YO!"

But since he's allus callin' out "YO!" nobunny pays him enny attenshun. Yellin' "YO!" is Whut He Does an' da rest ob us are used to it by now.

An den Mouse says,

"Uh oh..."

An we look up, cos Mouse don't ushally say dat.

An dere is Dadda wiffa trash bin.

An he says to Maman, "If we wheel Mouse out innu da middle obba floor, we can pull da bottom out..."

An wike he's sum kinda grocery cart, Dadda gwabs hold ob Mouse's apawtmint an pulls it out frumma wall innu da middle obba floor. An Dadda fiddles aroun' wiffa few clips, and gibs a tug, an da whole bottom ob Mouse's apawtmint pulls out frum unner him!

An dere is Mouse standin onna grate ob his cage, wookin down atta nekkid floor unnerneaf him!

Well, Mouse takes a BIG leap an lands in his pootie-box. At least he has solid ground unner his paws! He laid down dos pooties himself, so he knows dey are safe, but for how long? I mean, we all know dat pooties can pile high, but how long will dey last assa foundayshun fora radder well-built Nedderlands Dwarf Bunny-boy?

So Mouse is inna pootie-box, hangin' on for grim death wif big eyes.

An Maman an Dadda take da bottom ob his apawtmint downna hallway toda bafroom an dere issa sound ob lotsa wadder runnin.

An Missy lifts up her ears an says, "Oh no... hear dat?" an she back up inna hurry innu her pootie-box.

Da sound ob wadder runnin' can do dat to a bunny.

So den Maman an Dadda come back wiffa bottom ob Mouse's apawtmint an afta a wotta buggerin' about (as Hunny wuld say) dey getta bottom shoved back innu pwace.

So Mouse takes a step out ob his pootie-box an heer comes Maman wif Mr Broom!

So Mouse reverses gears an gets his butt back innu da pootie-box while Maman sweeps.

Den dat's done an Dadda wheels Mouse back innu his place.

An Mouse wooks down atta bottom ob his apawtmint an says,

"Dey taked my pooties!"

Well now. Dis is NOT cool. Speshully not when Mouse had gone to so much trubble to assemble such a good collectshun obb'em! I mean, dere was, wike, several days worf ob effort in dere and it was just gone, wike dat! Totally gone! Da whole bottom was bwight, shiney an completely cleen again. Just like noo.

An - ged dis - it didn't smell at all. Not one bit. Not ebbin faintly.

An Missy has her butt plugged firmly innu her pooti-box says to me,

"Tell me he issn't comin ober heer."

An I stood up an hadda wook, an shure enuf, heer comes Dadda toward me wif Maman behind him.

An Maman says, "You know, if we put summa dis stuff out onna garden, it will be good forda flowers if I rake it in."

An Dadda says, "Trubble is, dere is too much obbit. We put out alla dis stuff anna neighbours are gonna complain."

An Maman says, "You fink? We culd waid until Dark."

An Dadda says, "Well, I don't fink ebben Dark is gonna hide alla dis, ebben if we dump it all inna pond atta end obba garden."

And dere standin ober Missy an Me an wookin down. So I'm standin up wike I wanna pet, cos wookin cute ushally works to ged Maman to fortyged whutebber stupitidee she's currently workin on.

Bud not dis time.

Cos Dadda takes hold ob our apawtmint an rolls us out inna middle obba floor obba Bun Room an stawts tryin to pull outta bottom ob OUR apawtmint.

Only he can't.

Cos Missy is plugged innu her pootie-box, an I'm standin up down here by my pootie-box, so dere are two big bunnies atta end obba apawtmint, holdin ebberyfing down.

An Dadda says, "Wookit you two buggers..." An he pokes Missy's tail, but she don't moob. So he reaches in an puts his hand unnerneaf ob me an I kinda hop up an bounce down, which gibs me some spring offa da floor obba apawtmint, so I hop again, which gibs Missy a bounce an she comes unplugged frum her pootie-box an goes bouncin down da apawtmint, which gibs da floor some more spring...an preddy soon, we're bouncin UpAnDown cos we can't help ourselbs, onna'count obba floor bouncin wif us wike beans bouncin onna griddle.

An dere's Dadda, tryin to gwab hold obba bottom ob our apawtmint while we're bouncin wike beans an can't help ourselbes.

An rite aboud dat time, da whole bottom comes unstuck frum it's rails an sorta dwops all-at-once.

Well, Dadda catches it as it's goin' down, as Maman tries to gedda'hold obba'udder end, howebber, her shoulder don't werk too good, so ob course, she dwops her end ob fings an dere is hay an most ob our Winter coats all ober.

But Dadda managed to gwab hold obba main pawt which had most obba pooties.

So he said some werds inna speshul language he knows called "Anglo-Saxon" dat we Bunnies aren't susposed to know. Hunny knowed it, bud he sed I was too young to learn it. Da onliest werd I unnerstand innit issa werd, "bugger", which seems to appear quite a lot, so it must be an impawtant werd to be used so much.

So ennyways, I habba wook down an you know whut? All I saw unnerneaf ob my paws was FLOOR!

Dat was it! Da onliest fing between Missy an me fallin twoo foots to our deaths was dis bouncy floor ob our apawtmint. Who knew? I mean, dat all dat stood between us an disaster wassa bouncy sheet ob screen cobbered wif seagrass mats anna plastic slidy bottom!? No wonder Mouse had jumped innu his pootie-box when dey pulled his bottom out frum unner him!

Well, I tried gettin innu da pootie-box, too, but da ones dat we hab only accommie-date half-a-bunny ob my gen'ral size an shape. Missy an me aren't widdle Nedderland Dwarfs. Nope! We're wike large, ekonomy-sized rabbits ob gen'rous proporshuns! So when I got innu da pootie-box, I discobbered dat only da frunt pawt ob George fit - da whole back-end was hanging out. So I turned aroun an fit da back end in, but den da frunt end was hangin' out - so no madder how close togedder I put my feets, it didn't werk - dere was too much George an nod enuf pootie-box.

So I wooked ober at Missy an she was habbin da same trubble as me, only more obbit, cos she issa bigger bunny-gurl den me.

So.

Den Maman an Dadda comed back wif our bottom an Dadda stawts to slide it back in...

An it won't go.

An Dadda says to Maman, "It won't fit."

An Maman wooks unnerneaf an axts, "Howcome?"

An Dadda says fru his teefs, "Cos we hab two lard-butt rabbits warping the whole bottom of the habitat. Look at that! See if you can get Missy up to your end and I'll keep George down here."

So Dadda pokes Missy inna butt an she stawts bouncin again. Well, don'cha know dat when Missy stawts bouncin again, dat bounces me, too. So she's bouncin UpAnDown, headin towards Maman, an here I go, rite along wif her!

An Dadda's yellin, "George! George! Dis Way!"

An I'm yellin bak at him, "Lookit, Stoopit, I'm doin' my best heer..." while I'm bouncin UpAnDown nextest to Missy.

An Missy lets outta wail ob, "I don't wike dis!" an WHAM she wets go wiffa extry hard *thump* that sends me aboud sebben inches up inna air.

So while I'm airborne, Dadda gibs da bottom a good, hard shove, anna fing slams innu pwace unner'neaf ob us - so dat when I come down, I can see da floor disappearin' anna bottom come back.

So dat was reassurin'.

An' now our apawtmint don't smell ob nuthin ennymore, just wike Mouse's.

Home Sweet Generic Home.

An den it's Clover an Beeb's turn.

Well, Beeb issa slob an Clover issa Ms Marfa Stewart obba Bunny Werld. Only Clover is honest and don't do enny Insider Trading an she's notta Fashunnazi or ennyfing wike dat. Hokay, so she's not Marfa Stewart, but she issa berry clean an organised bunny. In fact, Maman has nebber seed a bunny who keeps a houz wike Clover does.

Clover carries alla uneaten hay toda frunt obba apawtmint so Maman can sweep it out ebbery mornin. An Clover will push a dirty pooty-box toda frunt obba'pawtimint for Maman to clean, too. An Clover don't wike to hab toys in her wadder crock an will pike dem out if Beeb frows dem in. An Clover is berry, berry neat about allus usin' her litter-box. She nebber hassa akydent, whereas Beebe is just one mobile akydent dat keeps on happinin ober an ober.

So, it's wike Beeb will pootie an pee ebberywheres except inna pootie-box.

He calls dis "freedon frum tyranny" but Clover says it's just laziness an whumps his butt ebbery now an'den.

But he's deboted to her, an keeps her nicely groomed and lubly, so dat's good.

So Maman an Dadda wheeled dem out innu da middle obba floor an pulled dere bottom out frum unner dem.

Well, by dis time, as Clover sed, she had time to see whut eggakly was goin' on, so she wasn't too boddered aboud'it. But she is anudder BIG bunny gurl an she was parked atta end obba apawtmint, so Dadda poked her inna butt, too, just wike he poked Missy.

An Clover took a big hop anna floor bounced.

Well, Beebe issa WOT smaller den I am. He's whut you call a Hot-tot, which issa speshul kind ob sort ob Nedderlands Dwarfie-shaped bunny wif black ear-tips an black eye-liner onna primarily white bunny. In udder werds, he don't weigh more den four pounds soakin wet - which is aboud half ob whut Clover weighs. So, ob course, when she bounced down onna floor, he bounced up aboud twice as high. I mean, he rilly got some altytood goin'. Like, if he'd put his ears up, he culdda touched da top ob his apawtmint an Clover can only do dat if she stretches up on her hind-wegs on tippy-toe.

So when Clover gave dat hop, Beebe was off wike a rockit.

An "YO!" was wike aboud half ob whut he yelled onna way up. Da rest don't translate outta Lagomorphin. Anna good fing, too.

So afta awhile, dere bottom comed back an it had no smell at all.

So heer's my rant:

Bunnies go to a wotta trubble markin out dere terrytorry an makin it dere own. So howcome issit dat we are not 'loud to keep fings in our homes da way dat we want dem?

I mean, heer we are inna Noo Bun Room. We gots noo apawtmints, clean bottoms, clean pootie pans, clean crocks, clean wadder - clean ebberyfing - an we hab to stawt ALL OBER AGAIN, geddin fings back to da way we want'em. An whut happins nextest? Maman, Dadda an Mr Broom will be back. It's happined bifore an it will happin again.

How on Earf can you tell dat sumfing is yours if it don't smell wike you? I mean, dis has gotta stop. Clean is a good fing, I realise, but dis is goin' ober da top.

Rilly.

------- by George

CommunnyKayShun
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: DikShunAiry (Continued)
Topic: Da Lore
Well, I hadda take a widdle break so I culd habba tawk wiffa udder bunnies inna Warren. I wanted to collect more werds an to make shure dat I habben't missed out on enny werds frumma beginin. Dis makin a DikShunAiry issa LOT harder den I thought it wuld be! Who knew dat we bunnies had so menny werds dat are unique toda Inkwish Language?

So ennyways, heer we go wif more werds...

I
identeefykayshun = recognizin who you are
impawtant = speshul, signiffygant, notable
inbenchon = a great idea sumbun thought up an made real.
indiggity = Belinda Bunny coined dis werd a long time ago. It means wiffoud dignity, not dignified.
Inkwish = comin frum Inkwand, which is pawt obba United Kingdom.
Inkwish Spot = a beyootiful kind of bunny, white wif black spots (or sumtimes, all black!) dat hassa LOT ob personality! Belinda Bunny wassa Inkwish Spot bunny an she hadda lotta 'pinions an commints to make aboud life an libbin assa Urban Rabbit.
inna = dis issa hard werd to describe, so I will use it inna sentance. Hey! Wook at dat! I just did!
innerestin = holds your 'tenshun
innu = opposit ob "out frum"
innypendant -ce = freedom
ishoo = topics ob discusshion.
issa = dis issa'nudder werd wike "inna". Try readin' da sentance out loud an you'll prob'ly geddit.
J
JUST-IN-CAD = Our Dadda's consultancy biznezz
justyfikayshun = habbin rite on your side
K
kitchin = berry impawtant room inna houz cos it's where da Big White Box wiffa food in is kept.
L
Lagomorph = correct genus for rabbits. We are NOT rodents! We are Lagomorphs!
leckted = when ebberybunny votes for you, you get 'leckted to a position.
lecktrick = power inna wall
lektrickal = sumfing dat werks by lektricks
liddle = small
lop = ears dat hang down
loppy = habbin lop or hangy-downy ears
lub -bly -bable/ -ing = care for da most inna whole werld an beyond.
luminiuminuminum = tin foil onna roll
M
Mawmie = sumbun who takes care ob you and teaches you to grow up an be 'Tellygint. I nebber hadda mawmie. I culdn't find her, ebben though I tried an tried. But I had Belinda Bunny who teached me, an Maman takes care ob me, an Missy-Bun is my lubly wife-bun.
mebbe = well, it could happin
menny = lots
mergency = urgent, inna hurry
miniLop = medium-size bunny wif short hangy-downy ears. "mini" doesn't mean datta bunny is small, just dat dey hab smaller ears.
missul = somefing you can fire off
mite = den again, it culd not happin, eidder
moor = not less
munny = papers dat hoomins exchange wif each udder to get fings we need. Hoomins fink it is berry impawtant. We don't.
N
nanners = long, yellow froot, berry tasty insides, wiffa nasty peel outsides.
nebber = not in dis lifetime.
nebbermind = don't werry abouddit.
nodis = seen sumfing forda furst time
nudder = not dis one but one ober dere
nummy = good to eat
O
ob = a partysipple meaning "frum" or "related to"
obba = ushually found wiffa werd "onna" (see below)
ober = go on top of, point in anudder direkshun; not heer, but ober dere.
odder = used in place ob udder
onna = ushually goes in frunt ob odder werds wike "account" so we can hab werds wike "onna'count obba fackt dat..."
OnAlone = Dis issa werd made up by Hunny. Bein' OnAlone issa werst fing dat can happin to a bunny. It means dat you are not pawt obba warren. Dere is nobunny whom you love, an nobunny to lub you; nobunny to care for you, an you don't care about ennybunny. Nobunny ebber wants to be OnAlone, not ebber. Dis is why ebberybunny who comes to Our Warren is nebber again OnAlone, but becomes pawt ob Our Warren.
onliest = all by itself, OnAlone; can also mean "unique" and/or special, too.
P
paw = your foot
pawtee = a sellybrashun wif good food, dancin', games an more good food
pinions = your own ideas
possytib = absolutly 100% shure
pra'ps = mebbe
pubwick = in society, not private
puter = machine that runs on lecktricks that we type on to communnykate wif each udder. Dis inbenchon has rebelooshunized rabbit society by gibbin us, who prebiously had no voice, a means ob beng heard around da werld.
pwoud = takin pride in sumfing, not ashamed
Q
questshun = sumfing you axt (can also be spelled "qwestshun", dependin onna bunny).
questriann = hoomins ridin on horses
questin = searchin' journey

And dat's alla werds I can type for tiday. I will add da rest obb'em tomorry.

--------By George

ComunnyKayShun
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Lagomorphin to Inkwish an Back Again
Topic: Da Lore
Yeah.

I hab noticed that ebberyfing seems to come down to sumfing I learned frum Belinda Bunny: ComunnyKayShun.

Alla problems in Our Warren are problems in ComunnyKayShun:
1. The Collie-Dawg don't speak Cat.
2. The Catz don't speak Dawg.
3. The Catz don't speak Lagomorphin.
4. The Collie-Dawg don't speak Lagomorphin.
5. Niedder Maman or Dadda speaks Dawg, Cat or Lagomorphin, but they're tryin'.
6. The bunnies sorta speaks ebberyfing, incloodin Lagomorphin but we're not perfeckt yet.

Conseequently, nobun hassa cloo whut's bein' sed by ennybunny else around heer.

Now, Belinda stawted us all onna road to InnerSpecies ComunnyKayShun when she furst began dis Blog. It wassa Pioneerin' Effort on her pawt, because, as far as I know, she wass furst rabbit ennywheres to hab a Blog Ob Her Berry Own.

Axtchally, I fink it was Hunny who began dis effort to ComunnyKate wif udder species, an' he began it wif Our Warren, Alla Us Togedder.

Yeah, cos when Hunny wassa Young Bun, he was dribben byda need to help udders.

When Maman anna Reverend Doktor V'Ginny Sheay wanted to send a plush bunny to some sik children, Hunny hopped up onna 'puter, an figgered out howta press da keys an howta moob da mouse, an wif Maggie an Belinda, howta use da letters onna keyboard to make Inkwish werds dat sounded wike da werds hoomins use.

These bunnies developed da furst Translations frum Lagomorphin to Inkwish. An inna process, dey made a whole noo Language wif its own werds.

So I bin finkin dat dere shuld be a DikShunAiry ob Terms frum Lagomorphin to Inkwish an Back Again so dat we can all bedder unnerstand each udder.

Dis inbolbed sum research, cos I don't fink ennybunny has ebber created an OnWine DikShunAry ob Terms, aldoh I known ob anudder DikShunAry dat Exists (it issa Memebers Onwy kinda fing, an you hab to be pawta da Rebolooshunary Rabbit-friendly Gwoop, PetBunny, to hab akcess to it.), dis mite be da furst freely available DikShunAiry ob It's Kind.

So if we mess dis up, you're gonna hab to hab patience while we get it fixed up.

So Heer Goes:

Lagomorphin ... Inkwish ...
A
aboud = around, sort ob atta same time.
adbice = good werds frum old bunnies dat young buns need to hear.
afta = behind da furst one
aircondishywasher = fing dat goes inna winders to cool da air dat is comin' in inna hot Summertime.
Akrobatical = berry athletic an skillful
aktib = a bunny takin akshun
akshun = doin' stuff
Aktybist = an Aktib or outspoken bunny; most Inkwish Spot bunnies like Belinda.
alla = ebberybun
alotta = whole bunches ob/many
anudder = not dis one but one ober dere.
appuls = large, round, sweet, juicy treats. The dried twigs are good to chew on, too!
artykul = a partikular fing
atta = right den, dat time.
axt/-ed -ing = ask -ed -ing/as in "questshun"
B
becos = because
bedda = used wif "den" to compare fings.
bedded = used wif "em" to put innu bed wif sumfing else, wike a "bedded repawter" inna war.
behabe = not bein' bad; bein' good.
Bemember /-ing /-ed = callin' to mind.
berry = 1. Round, tasty froots. 2. dis exact one. 3. used as an intensyfyer to make anudder werd stronger.
bifore = not afta
binky = specialized akrobatik leap dat bunnies do.
birf = gettin' borned, comin' alibe.
buk = papers put togedder between cobbers wif typin in. You can learn frum'em or digest dem.
BUNNY = Lagomorphs (US!)
butta = slimy good stuff spread on bread.
C
Catz = furry four-foots obba Feline species. Can be danger'rus!, but mostly dey are stoopit an selfish. Dey come in Chowdas.
confoozled = not at all shure whut's goin' on.
cos = onna'kount ob
culd = past tense ob "can" (nodda tin type).
cubbers = fings to put ober yourself
( In Lagnomorphin, da ledder "c" makes a sound wike da ledder "k" in Inkwish. Just so you know why dere aren't more werds beginnin' wif "c".)
D
da = Definnytib Artykul meaning dis berry wun.
Dadda Our Hoomin buck, sorta. Finks he'ssa Top Bun, but he's rilly a fooder.
dat = not dis fing, but da udder one.
Dawg = furry four-foots obba Kaynine species dat tawk in "woofs" an "snuffles". Can be danger'rus to bunnies. Do Not Ebber be OnAlone wif dem!
deddykayshun = stayin da course wif courage.
dem = not us.
den = not now; whut happins nextest.
dere = dat way/not heer.
DikShunAiry = buk wiffa list ob werds an whut dey mean innit.
dis = da fing dat is in frunt ob you/not dat wun.
discrimmynashun = favourin' one ober anudder. You shuldn't do dis. It's not nice.
dissypline = doin fings ober an ober till you ged it rite.
dopted = happiest day ob your life, when you are no longer OnAlone, but taken innu a Warren.
downnastairs = floor below da one you are libbin' on.
E
enuf = whut you need ob stuff.
eny = not a specifik bunny, just enybunny.
ennyways = linking werd inna sentence.
ebbry = alla us togedder.
ebberybun = alla bunnies togedder.
F
feets = whut you hop on.
fing = one ob sum udders
fink /-ed /-ing = whut you do in your hed.
firteen = whut comes afta twelbe.
foots = more den one feets.
fortyget/-got/-getted = not bememberin'
free = whut comes afta two.
froot = tasty fings wif seeds; good pawt obba good diet; can be treats wike appuls, raisins or gwapes; mite hab too much shuga, but good for you ennyways.
frum = udder side ob "to"
frunt = not da back
fud = dis issa Feline werd for "food"; stuff dat catz eat. Bunnies don't use dis werd normally.
furst = at da hed obba line
G
gardin = 1. Where fings to eat grow 2. Makin shure nobun inbades da Warren; keepin' watch. 3. Protecktin.
ged/-got /-gotted = to hab it an hang on to it.
gonna = whut's comin'
Got'cha Day = da day when you was 'dopted.
gwapes = small, round, juicy tweats. When dees are dried, dey become raisins an still are berry good.
H
hab /-bin /bent = 1. holdin on to sumfing. 2. When Belinda used it in "Can't be habbin wif dis" she meant, "You bedder stop dis or you're gonna be in trubble."
haddit = can't take no more.
Hagonnasekund = waid-a-minit
happinin' = goin' on
Hay = 1. An impawtant pawt obba good diet. Bunnies shuld eat alotta hay alla time.
hed = da fing dat is holdin' up your ears.
Hey! = Oftin confoozled wif "hay"; werd yelled to ged 'tenshun.
Hokay = all rite.
Holdit! = Stop-dat-rite-now!
Howcome? = means da same as "Why?"

An dat's preddy much alla werds dat I can put inna dikshunary today.

Dis is much harder werk den I thought it wuld be. A wot longer, too.
Hokay. So. Ennyways...

I fink I'm gonna take Hunny's adbice: "Hab sum hay, an habba nap." Yeah. Good adbice cos I am one tiredly bunny!

-------- By George

The Easter Bunny NoBunny Wanted
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Da Hist'ry ob Our Warren - Willow, Part II
Topic: Da Lore

So heer issa rest obba story ob Willow, Da Easter Bunny NoBunny Wanted...

Wike I telled you yestidday, nobunny buyed Willow cos she was inna pet store, an she was sik, an she was kinda "strange" in dat she had dis, wike, blank wook aboud her, wike da lights were on, bud nobun was at home.

An she didn't know howta use da pootie-box, eidder.

It wasn't wike she wasn't cute. She was berry cute an' she was sweet-natchured an cuddly, wif her liddle grey face wiffa liddle white blaze onna nose, an her wide, sort ob vacant eyes. She ebben swayed a liddle when she sat still.

But none ob dat mattered to Maman or Phil-da-Lad, cos they just wanted to make sure dat she didn't become dinner for some snake or lizzerd atta Pet Shop.

Dat was rilly whut bothered Maman, datta Pet Shops who don't sell alla baby bunnies at Easter, feed da ones dat are left ober to snakes.

Ob course, if pet shops were to find out dat hoomins wouldn't gib dem munny for baby bunnies at Easter, den da stores wouldn't sell dem, an breeders wouldn't breed dem, an no baby bunnies would hab to die as snake food.

Imagine whut it is wike - your baby given away for snake food... put inna glass tank for a snake to notice, to chase, to kill and to eat.

Yeah. An dat is whut happens to baby bunnies dat are left ober afta Easter.

Nebber fortyged dat.

So Willow got taken home to Our Warren.

An Maman noticed dat her nose was stuffy. So she taked liddle Willow toda V-E-T's.

It is hard to find a good bunny V-E-T. Most v-e-t's know alla 'boud dogs an cats, bud know berry liddle aboud bunnies. Maman went to one v-e-t who said, "Whoo boy, I'm gonna habba ged out my textbuks for dis one! I habbin't seed a rabbit since Vet School!"

Well, Maman was outta dere wiffa bunny in one big hurry.

So she had found whut she called a "Reasonable" v-e-t who wasn't werld's greatest, but he was hokay, an dat's where she taked Willow.

So da V-E-T looked Willow ober and gabe her sum Baytril an Willow's snuffly nose cleared up.

Just long enuf for Maman to inny'duce her to Belinda.

An afta that, the sniffles came back.

So Willow was sort obba weird rabbit, berry calm an complaysint (means "gentle") but berry hungree (she eated ebberyfing dere wasta eat) an she did rilly big pooties all ober ebberywheres, axtcept inna pootie-box.

An Belinda didn't care.

But Maman did.

So Maman buyed a Pootie-sucker.

Now a Pootie-Sucker issa "masheen". It's big, has wheels, anna hose-nose (kinda wike a collie-dawg nose, but longer an more mobile) dat can suck up pooties faster den ennybunny can fire dem out. It also makes a wotta noise!

So Maman an Phil-da-Lad buyed one ob des Fings an bringed it home to Our Warren.

Hunny sed it was just aboud da werst fing he'd ebber seed. It was terribly, terriby noisy! Anna hose wuld chase you around, trying to suck pooties right outta your butt! You no sooner did one, den heer comed dat Pootie-Sucker in behind you an gobbled dem up. It was an awful fing to hab inna Warren, an ebberybun was skert obbit.

'Cept Willow.

As Belinda sed, Willow was too dumb to be skert ob ennyfing.

So one day, Phil-da-Lad was onna udder end obba Pootie-Sucker, an he was cleanin outta habbytats.

Well, Hunny, egged on by Maggie (as was ushually da case), lunged atta hose-nose onna Pootie-Sucker, an Heatherington, who wassa Dutch (an dey don't take no crap frum ennywun), boxed it an growled.

But Phil-da-Lad was preddy determined, speshully cos Maman had sed dat he was not goin ennywhere's until alla pooties was sucked, an dat wassa bottom-line.

So he moobed up to Belinda an Willow's habbytat an stawted to run da Pootie-Sucker aroun' in dere.

Well, Belinda was smawt enuf to moob right to da back ob her habbytat as soon as she seed it comin', but Willow just stood dere, watchin'.

An Belinda shouted out, "MOOB WILLOW!"

But Willow just blinked an sorta swayed back an forth on her feets.

So Belinda hollared again, "WILLOW! MOOB!"

An Willow just sat dere.

An Phil-da-Lad, who was oppyratin da Pootie-Sucker, said, "Willow, moob it!"

So Willow sat down, blinked an stretched out her neck towards Phil-da-Lad, wif her widdle nose goin' wike she wanted a pet, an bifore he knew whut was happinin, Willow....sniffed....da.....end....obbba... Pootie-Sucker!

Well...

You hab nebber seen ennyfing wike it!

Phil rite away starts screamin for Maman, cossa Pootie-Sucker is makin a whole new noise now that it's nose is clogged up wif Willow's nose stuck inside it. An Willow's eyes are buggin' out, an Phil's hollarin for Maman cos he can't get Willow unstuck an she's startin to deflate wike a shaggy balloon inna high-pressure chamber.

An doesn't Belinda just come boundin' up, all hextcited, cos dis is her bondmate that's doin da hextplodin, just as Maman comes flyin innu da kitchin where da buns had dere habbytats. An den it was preddy much a freeway struggle, wif Maman yellin an Phil yellin an Willow's eye gettin buggier and buggier an her geddin thinner an thinner while da Pootie-Sucker is whinin high.

So Maman finally hits da "Off" switch, anna Pootie-Sucker winds down.

An dere is silence.

Willow's nose falls outta da end obba Pootie-Sucker's hose an her eyes go back innu dere sockets.

An she takes a deep breath.

Suddenly her eyes get wide again.

It's a miracle! Forda furst time in her widdle life, Willow can breathe!

Belinda comes ober to Willow to see if she's allrite, an Willow snuffles her. An Belinda is, like, "Whutssamatta wif you?"

An Willow is wike, "I can smell you."

An Belinda is wike, "No joke. I been smellin you."

Den Willow lifts her nose innu da air an says, "I can smell Maman, an I can smell Phil-da-Lad! I can smell Maggie! An Hunny!"

An Belinda says, "Dat's nuffin, we can ALL smell Hunny. Frumma'boutta mile off."

An Hunny checks his butt an says, "Can not!"

But Willow goes on wike nobunny sed ennyfing, an s'claims, "An I can smell Heatherington, too!"

An Belinda snorts an says, "Anudder no-brainer."

Well, by dis time, Phil-da-Lad has taken da Pootie-Sucker apart, an sure enuf, rite inside da bag dere issa great, big, long string ob snot. An he shows it to Maman (it's a berry Phil-thing to do).

An Maman wooks at da snot-ball, an den wooks at Willow an shudders.

"No wonder she's snuffling ebberyfing," Says Maman. "Probably smelling things for the first time in her life!"

An so Willow wandered around forda rest obba day, snufflin ebberyfing an hextclaimin' ober all obbit, cos she had nebber smelled smells, an nebber realised datta werld hadda whole udder dimenshion.

An Maman stopped usin' da Pootie-Sucker so much afta dat, an went back to Mr Broom an Ms Mop. Cos sumtimes "Progress" issn't all it's cracked up to be, she says.

An Willow, who wassa Easter Bunny NoBunny Wanted, turned out to be very wanted at Our Warren, an libbed inna Warren for wong time, wif Belinda.

Which, as Hunny says, is rilly sumfing, when you consider to whom she was bonded.

An dat's summa da story ob Willow of Our Warren.

---------By George

The Easter Bunny NoBunny Wanted
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Da His'try ob Our Warren
Topic: Da Lore

When I furst came to Our Warren, I was small. I didn't know berry much (mainly onna'count ob arrivin' inna box frumma v-e-t's). An I hadda lotta energy, so I didn't wanna sleep much.

An Hunny was old, an he didn't sleep much, eidder.

So he wuld talk to me, an tell me whut he called "Da Lore".

"Da Lore" issa story aboud the Beginnings ob Our Warren. It issa His'try.

So I'm gonna tell summa it to you.

Back inna Beginnin', at Easter-time, dere was just Hunny an his bondmate Maggie, Heather an Belinda inna Warren. In fackt, Belinda had just come to Our Warren frum Ms Laura Warner's South Jersey Rabbit Rescue. Maman an Phil-da-Lad had gone down to ged Belinda to be a bondmate for Heather, 'cept dat when dey got back to da house, Heather decided dat he didn't need to be bossed around by an Inkwish Spot, an so Belinda was libbin by herself.

So dere was Hunny, a miniLop, who was bonded to Maggie who wassa Standard Rex. An den dere was Heatherington Rabbitm who wassa Dutchie boy, an Belinda who wassa Inkwish Spot who was each in dere own habbytat. An dere was Maman an Phil-da-Lad

An dat was Our Warren.

So.

Maman an Phil hadda Pellet 'Mergency (which means they were outta pellets). So they stopped by a pet store where they didn't ushally go, anna store had baby bunnies for sale.

There were four widdle bunnies, alla dem liddle loppy bunnies. But dere was one, dat wassa widdle bigger den da udders, one sittin' a liddle ways off by itself.

So Maman knew right off dat it was dif'frunt. An Maman allus is sort ob drawn to dose bunnies dat are dif'frunt.

So da liddle grey an white loppy-eared bunny was dere inna cage by herelf. An she sat berry quiet an still.

Bud Maman an Phil-the-Lad alreddy had four bunnies an didn't know how dey culd afford to feed an extry mouf.

But wike Maman says, "If God sends us an extry mouf, He will send us a way to feed it."

An Maman sed to the owner obba store, "Let me know if dat grey an' white bunny gets sold." An she gibbed him some brooshures frumma House Rabbit Society to gib to ennyone who buyed a bunny, so at least dey would know a widdle bit aboud habbin' an Indoor Urban Rabbit.

So Easter came an went, an da udder bunnies found homes wif udder hoomins, an alla brooshures were handed out, but no hoomins wanted to take da widdle grey and white loppy bunny home wif dem.

Maman an Phil-da-Lad camed innu da pet store ebbery week, an still da grey an' white loppy bunny was dere. So Maman went innu where da bunny was an piked da bunny up an cuddled her. Anna widdle bunny was so sad, dat she cuddled up to Maman an sighed.

So da store manager came up to Maman an sed,

"No one seems to want this rabbit. There's something the matter with her. I don't think she's quite all right."

An Maman looked at him, an arched one eyebrow at him wike she does when she's aboud to get 'noyed, an sed,

"I beg your pardon?"

Anna Manager sed, "Well, I think she's dumb or something. She won't use a litterbox, she won't even pick one corner of her cage to go in. She just goes anywhere."

An Maman sed, "It because she's not in a home setting."

Den da Manager sed, "I can't keep her."

An Maman anna Manager stared at each udder. An finally Maman sed,

"How much?"

Anna Manager began wif whut Maman calls "A Story". He started at some figger Maman wassn't gonna accept an went down till he arrived atta figger dey bof could "Lib Wif".

So Maman an Phil-da-Lad brought da liddle grey an shite loppy girl home to Our Warren.

An dey named her "Willow", onna'count ob she was so gentle an sweet.

An Maman taked da widdle bunny toda V-E-T for a well-bunny check-up, anna widdle bunny was sik. She hadda pneumonia an hadda take two weeks ob Baytril.

So when dat was ober, Maman decided dat mebber Willow would like to lib wif Belinda.

So Maman, who didn't know a fing aboud bonding bunnies, (cos Maggie an Hunny had bonded demselbes) just decided she wuld leeb da doors to their habbytats opin an she an Phil-da-Lad wuld stand by in case ob 'Mergencies.

So Maman opined da doors. Phil-da-Lad hadda dust-pan anna wisk-broom an oven mitts. Maman piked uppa towel.

Belinda came snufflin' forward an den stopped just bifore she crossed innu Willow's habbytat. She wooked at Willow an Willow wooked at her. Den Belinda came innu Willow's habbytat an wooked at alla Willow's stuff, an ate summa Willow's food. An Willow just wooked. So Belinda walked up to Willow an licked her nose.

Willow blinked, an shifted back an forth on her feets, an then sat down.

Den Belinda wooked at Maman standin' dere wiffa towel, an at Phil-da-Lad wif his oven-mits an dust-pan an wisk-broom, an she shook her hed.

An she moobed innu Willow's habbytat an dat was preddy much dat.

Willow was a member ob Our Warren.

An den came Phil-da-Lad anna pootie-sucker, an Willow got her nose caught an all da drama - but dat's for tomorrow...

-------By George

Whoa! I'm Late!
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Not right....
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

You know we hadda moob house an how we're all heer, tryin to gedda noo warren goin' inna noo houz?

Well, it isn't goin' so good.

Da Dawg is still herdin' catz anna Catz is still protestin to Dadda alla time an Maman still just don't ged it.

Of course, we all gots noo apawtmints, too, which has called for sertin adjustmints, too.

An on toppa alla that, there is sumfing wrong with da mechanism dat werks "Spring" cos da wedder is COLD! An DARK! An an awful lot like WINTER.

I think somefing is stuck somewheres.

Dadda says his knees are stuck.

Dadda also says that da Dawg is stuck on 'noyance, as areda Catz.

Well, da way I figger it, da Catz hab allus been stuck on 'noyance.

Dey know dey are not 'lowed inna Bun Room, but they manage to sneak in, don't they? Just as soon as Maman opins da gate acrosst our doorway, dey appears just by magic an slinks in rite behind her. Anna fing is, dey know dey aren't 'lowed in, cos as soon as Maman says dere name, dey scoot rite out, but ebben doh dey know, dey still sneaks.

Ob course, when dey are sneakin, da Dawg is sneakin' rite behind dem - only at his size, he don't sneak too good. Cos he is sneakin' cos dey are sneakin' and he's sneakin' so he can keep an eye on dem an repawt dem to Maman just in case she don't see dem. But she does, cos it's rilly hard to miss forty pounds of cat whedder it's sneakin or not.

Den Maman yells atta dawg, too - an den we hab dis log-jam inna doorway: one dawg that is tryin' to back up wiffoud taking his eyes offa cat, an one cat tryin to go forward wiffoud runnin innu da dawg and one Maman tryin to ged to her coffee fru alla mess ob cats anna dawg.

Yeah.

Well, you kin see how complykated life is gettin' aroun heer.

An on top ob ebberyfing else, it's cold and damp an Dadda says that the garden is squidgy. Dis means that when the dawg comes in frum outside, his paws are all muddy and he leebs tracks on Maman's clean floor. So Dadda makes him stop and den Dadda wipes da Dawg-feets with a towel, which gets all muddy an hasta go innu da washing machine, which makes laundry.

Maman wants to know which is worser - habbin to mop da floor or habbin to do alla laundry frumma dawg.

And then she moobed Missy an my pootie box. Well dat wassn't nice. I liked where it was bifore, I think, although I was sort of peeing there ober the side atta dawg oncet inna while. An' I s'spose that I did manage to hit the floor now an then. But now that she's put a pootie-box there, well, I hab bin aimin' ober the side more oftin.

An' Maman sed my aim is bad.

Well, it's her fault cos she shouldn't be moobin pootie boxes.

Missy has added pooties to my puddle onna floor. An Maman don't like dat, eidder.

So I told her aboudda pootie-box by draggin it innu da middle obba apawtmint, but she didn't ged the idea an moobed it back innu dat corner where I don't wanna hab it.

I figger it's Missy an my apawtmint, so we can habba pootie-box where we want. Maman has two pootie-boxes in heer, so I fink we can moob at least one obb'em.

An now da grapes we was geddin are gone. Da Dawg had summa dem, an Dadda had sum and now they are gone.

We're back to raisins.

The good news issat they are the BIG raisins inna red box an not the cheap widdle ones wiffa store name on.

Mebbe we will ged appuls, cos I can see dem still inna Big White Box when Maman opins it.

So we're still all messed up heer, wif Catz anna dawg an alla stuff goin' on. It was nebber wike dis when Hunny was Top Bun. An it wassn't wike dis when Belinda was in charge, eidder. I must be doin' sumfing wrong.

Hunny sed dat when I am not sure aboud fings, I should hab sum hay an habba nap an fink. So I shall. He was rite aboud most fings... chances are, he's rite about dis.

I'll let'cha know...

-------- By George

Confessions of an Easter Bunny
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Don't Give Bunnies For Easter
Topic: The Next Generation


Hullo. My name is George and I amma Easter Bunny.

That's right. I came innu this werld assa Easter Bunny - an ancient symbol of Spring, ob new life, of regeneration, of rebirth an' Hope Inna Future.

At least, that's whut Maman says. She knows aboud these things, about hist'ry an berry old stuff dat nobunny else seems to care aboud. She says Easter is alla'boud rebirth an Hope Inna Future, but that most hoomins hab fortygotten whut Easter rilly is an' make believe dat it is aboud candy an coloured eggs an buyin bunnies inna pet store.

An' den she gets sad an says, "George, you usta be an Easter Bunny."

But I rilly don't bemember much aboud being an Easter Bunny, 'cept dat it was no fun. Bein' an Easter Bunny had nuffin to do wif candy, an nuffin to do wif gettin' borned, an nuffin to do wif' habbin enny kind ob Hope at all.

Here is whut I bemeber aboud bein' da Easter Bunny:
I was berry small.
I got picked uppa'lot.
I was squeezed.
I got fed lettuce.
It made my tummy hurt.
I libbed in a small cage wif some food an wadder. An' ebberybunny seemed to wike me at furst, but preddy soon, dey fortygot aboud me. I guess da "Noo" wore off. Or mebbe I wasn't cute ennymore. Or mebbe I was just inna way.

Cos, you see, I dunno why nobunny wanted me. I wassa Easter Bunny, wasn't I? You know, da Peter Cottontail, Hoppin Down Da Bunny Trail!

Yeah, dere is ebben a song written aboud Easter Bunnies like me. You hear dat song played a lot rite around now.

And it's kinda hard to unnerstand how you can be all lubbed an' wanted one day an then shoved innu a small cage an' become a "chore" the next. I mean, I can't help bein' alive an havin to eat an habbin to go sit inna pootie-box now an' then an all. That's whut bunnies do. An' I can't help it if when all I have issa small cage, all I do is sit. There's not much room for ennyfing else, is there?

So howecome I got shoved innu a box an then left atta V-E-T's office?

Issat whut happins toda Easter Bunny?

Cos dat's whut happined to me.

Yeah.

Sumbun putted me innu a box an dribed me inna car toda V-E-T's office. Dey put me down an den left.

An' dere I was. All by myself.

An' I was three months old.

OnAlone.

Now, OnAlone is the most Awfullest Thing that can happin to a bunny. Bunnies are susposed to lib in Warrens wiffa wotta udder bunnies. If you're a bunny, you get borned, an you habba Mawmie, an you learn frumma udder bunnies an get 'Tellygint, an grow up to be a Top Bun. An' den you hab kits ob your own dat you teach to be 'Tellygint along wif alla udder kits, so dat you love, an' are loved in return.

But bein' OnAlone means dat nobunny loves an cares for you an you don't love or care for nobunny. You have no Warren to be in. You are not part ob sumfing bigger, you don't belong and you are sad an sorrowful an skert.

I know, becos I was OnAlone. An I was sad, an sorrowful an skert all by myself inna box inna V-E-T's office while my furst people drived away.

An' whut were dey finkin', leebin me dere? Dat da V-E-T wanted me? He didn't. He didn't want an extry rabbit. He issa doctor to care for sik bunnies, dawgs an ebben catz an make dem well again. He doesn't need to hab an extry well-bunny to feed.

I guess does furst people wanted me dead. Cos dat happins a lot at V-E-T's. Cos dere is no room for extry bunnies. No Warrens to take us in, no places for us to sleep, no udder bunnies to teach us, no critters to welcome us.

An' so we are sent off toda Rainbow Bridge by ourselves, to find our way inna darkness. Mebbe you don't see it, but afta ebbery Easter, dere is a crowd of berry liddle bunnies, all skert an' alone, wiffoud Mawmies, all OnAlone, an dey are runnin, an hidin' an wide-eyed an' terryfied - poor widdle lost souls dashing through the cold an' nighttime, not knowing where they are fleeing to unable to turn back and afraid to go forward. Behind dem is Terror, ahead lies Fear an so dey run for dere lives.

An' ahead ob them issa Bridge an' it is high an white shining against the darkness obba sky, like a thin strand of moonlight stretched across black velvet. An skert as they are, the tiny bunnies run toward it, becos it is the onliest place to run.

You can't know whut it's like. You can't imagine it, but I can. It is the nightmare born in every liddle bunny's waking dream as soon as a breeder-person takes us frum our Mawmies. We are OnAlone just as the Werld comes innu focus, an OnAlone inna pet stores winders, an OnAlone in tiny cages, OnAlone as some starve to death, or are hurted to death, or who are let go inna wilderness obba city park wif predators wiffa nightmares obba silver moonlight Bridge stretched acrosst da Void anna cries ob tiny bunies ringing in our ears.

An' I had those nightmares, too, until I managed to get heer. When I finally got heer, I met Hunny, an Poet, an 'speshully Belinda, an they all told me dat da Bridge is notta nightmare, dat onna udderside ob it there issa Meadow wif alla bunnies who hab ebber libbed, all playin' inna sun. An' Hunny sed dat The Bridge issa place where old buns go to feel young, an' where sik buns go to get well.

But if I hadn't been rescued, you see, I nebber would have knowed dis. I nebber wuld hab had enny teachers, nebber wuld hab had friends an rewayshuns, an no Maman or Dadda. I wuld nebber hab learned dat da Bridge wassa good place, an dat it is pawt obba Cyrkil ob Life, an dat I don't hab to be afraid ebber again.

Becos I was rescued.

Maman came an took me away inna box an brought me to Our Warren, where I'm notta Easter Bunny enny more. I am George, George ob Our Warren.

So, you see, dere shuld be no more Easter Bunnies wike me. No bunnies shuld be sold as "presents". Dere are udder fings dat make presents at Easter Time, an' heer issa pickhure ob my friend, Clementine (he libs in Texas) wif some ob the GOODgifts to gib at Easter.

So, go ahead an gib candy for Easter, an gib sombun a plush, stuffed bunny toy for Easter, but please, please, please don't buy a living bunny as a toy.

We are not toys.
We are like you -
Living, breathing Memebers of God's Great Warren,
Alla Us Togedder, NoBunny OnAlone.

------ By George

Dawg Houz Roolz
Mood:  surprised
Now Playing: Da Fairy Wog-Dawg, Fat-Cat an Me, George
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Da Dwag has Roolz.

Does he ebber!

An' we're not tawkin' just a few gen'ral commints on behaviour heer, lemme tell you. We're tawkin' a whole, entire Buk ob Roolz that he has written all by himself, wiffoud enny help frum ennybunny.

Who knew?

An what's more, he ekpects dat ebberybunny inna whole houz is gonna lib by his Roolz, too, since we are all part ob his Pack.

So he finks.

Yeah.

Alla Us Togedder inna Warren were treated to an all-out demmystrashun aboudda Dawg's Roolz fing wast nite.

Dadda happened to go out toda Lodge. Now Lodge issa berry big fing in dis houz, going back for hunnerts ob years inna family. Maman says she is her Father's Daughter an if ennybunny believes Dan Brown's fikshunal stories, they are dumb - an' she can proob it - cos she is whut he issn't, which issa trained 'storian.

Mind you, da Dawg has been trained, too, bud I don't know in whut.

So ennyway, Dadda went to Lodge an Maman stayed home.

Now just as Dadda was leebin, he sed toda Border Collie Dawg, "Be a good Fairy Wog-Dawg an take care ob Maman anna houz. Guard, Marc. Guard."

(Fairy Wog-Dwag is Dadda's name forda Border Collie. No one knows why, least ob all da Border Collie who notta deep finker.)

An Dadda left.

Well, da Fairy Wog-Dawg says Dadda is da Alpha Male obba Pack, an he (Fairy Wog-Dawg) issa Sekondary Male, which makes him in charge whenna Alpha Male is absent, an this is speshully troo if da Alpha Male (which is Dadda) gibs him (which is da Fairy Wog-Dawg) da command, "Guard".

So when Dadda says "Guard" toda Fairy Wog-Dawg, it means datta Dawg is in charge ob ebberyfing.

So he finks.

So Maman was inna Sittin' Room, sittin' wif her buk.

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawn goes in an sits wif her.

An just aboud den, da Fat-Cat waddles downnastairs to see whut's happinin', cos he herd da frunt door slam an da car stawt an nobunny had told him nuffin aboud it.

An just as da Fat-Cat got fru da Libbin Room an innu da Dinin' Room, da Fairy Wog-Dawg gets up frumma Sittin Room an shoots downnahall to stop da Fat-Cat frum goin' enny furder.

Anna Dawg is wike, "Hey, Cat! Stop!"

Anna Fat-Cat is wike, "Hey, Dawg! Pak it in!" an keeps on waddlin', innu da Kitchin to habba wook atta Fairy Wog-Dawg's dinner an wadder bowls.

Anna Dawg is wike, "Hey, Cat! What'cha doin'?"

Anna Cat is wike, "Wookin to see if dere is enny food weft."

Anna Dawg says, "Wook in your own bowl. Dat's da Roolz: ebberybunny has dere own bowl. Now ged outta mine."

Anna Cat wooks atta Dawg an sits down an says, "Who died an weft you in charge?"

"I amma Sekondary Male!" says da Dawg, wike it means sumpfing.

So da Cat geds up, shakes an says, "An I'm da Top Cat. So ged outta da way."

Anna Dawg is wike, "Hey, Cat! I told you to stop!", an runs around to stand between da Fat-Cat an his bowls.

Anna Fat-Cat just shrugs an goes arounna Dawg.

Soda Fairy Wog-Dawg goes arounna Fat-Cat an bumps innu da cabinets unner da sink.

An I'm watchin frumma Bun Room which is just offa Kitchin.

So Maman heers da Fairy Wog-Dawg bump innu da cabinets unner da sink, an she calls out, "Whutsamatta, Marc?"

An Marc (who issa Fairy Wog-Dawg) says, "Stay rite dere, Cat. Dat issa Alpha Female, Maman, calling. I gotta go, but I'm comin' rite back. So don't moob. Does are da Roolz."

Anna Fat-Cat is wike, "Whutebber."

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg runned fru da Dinin' Room an downnahall to da Sittin' Room where Maman was still sittin wif her buk. An I hear Maman say to da Fairy Wog-Dawg:

"Marc, sit. Stay."

And dere issa *thump* assa Fairy Wog-Dawg sits down inna Sittin' Room. Cos Maman's da Alpha Female inna Wog-Dawg's Pack an he hasta do whut she tells him.

Soda Fat-Cat waddles acrosst da floor an climbs innu da pootie-box.

An frum da Sittin' Room, I hear da Fairy Wog-Dawg call out, "Hey, Cat! I thought I told you not to moob!"

Anna Fat-Cat don't answer, cos he is busy diggin aroun inna pootie-box, hoikin' fings out dat he finds in dere and flingin' dem on to da floor.

So I lean out an axt him, "Whut'cha doin, Cat?"

Anna Cat says, "Cleanin da pootie box. Cos it seems dat da Stoopit Cat finks she can use dis box an it's MY box. HER box is uppastairs inna udder Bafroom, an dis wun is MINE." Den he grins at me an adds, "It's da Roolz."

An I hear da Wog-Dawg yell frumma Sittin' Room, "I said 'Don't moob, Cat!'"

An da Fat-Cat turns his back on me an mumbles, "'Scuse me, but I gotta go."

An I'm wike, "Whatebber, Guy. But I know you been eatin' dat wet food stuff Dadda gabe you, so try to stay downwind ob us, hokay?" Cossa Fat-Cat can rilly stink uppa-place if da Hot-Air-Heater is blowin when he uses his litter-box.

Den alla sudden, I hear toenails, anna Fair Wog-Dawg comes shootin fru da Dinin Room an arounda corner obba Kitchin, hed down, legs crossin, eyes intent.

An alla bigger sudden, he's inna Fat-Cat's face.

"I told you not to moob!"

An da Cat is atta deli-kate pawt obba pootie-box manoovers, an he can't moob. So he's sittin' dere, in his pootie-box, hunched up, eyes crossed, an paws togedder, an he gasps atta Dawg,

"Do...you...MIND?"

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg is bouncin up-an-down anna'long-side da Fat-Cat's pootie box, yellin', "I told you not to moob an you moobed! It's against the Roolz obba Pack for you to moob! An' you're goin' pottie inna houz! Not allowed! Against da Roolz! Against da Roolz! You're not houzbroken!"

Anna Fat-Cat is wike, "WILL you ged outta heer? *geez* Now I know how Dadda feels when he's inna bafroom wif you."

Anna Dawg is bouncin' up-an-down, an he's rilly goin' now, makin' peepin' noises.

"You're not houzbroken! You're doin' IT inna houz! Whutsamatter wif you? You're 'sposed to go Outside like a normal dawg!"

Anna Fat-Cat is wike, "I ain't no stoopit Dawg, you dumb Dawg!"

An he leans ober da side obba pootie-box an takes a swipe atta Fairy Wog-Dawg.

But he misses.

Cos he's still inna middle obba deli-kate pawt obba pootie-box manoovers, you see.

An suddenly, Mouse, who is nearer to da Fat-Cat's pootie-box place den I am, turns his back onna Fat-Cat, hunches up an says:

"Phaww. You stink, Cat."

Anna Fat-Cat, who isn't feelin too charmin atta momint, looks up at Mouse an snaps, "You ain't no rose yourself, you widdle hay-chompin' gas-bag."

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg starts peepin' louder an bouncin' more an more nextest to da Fat-Cat's pootie-box.

"You can't talk toda Rabbits! Not on my watch, Cat!"

Anna Cat glares an gibs one big effort (cos he's all full of annoyed now an preddy much outta da udder stuff) an stawts to paw atta cabinet.

An da Fairy Wog-Dawg just aboud goes nuts.

"NO TOUCHING MY COOKIE-CABINET! God knows where your paws have been!"

An just den, I hear Maman inna Sittin' Room, an she's not best pleased:

"That does it! Do I hafta come out there? Whut's goin' on?"

Anna Dawg is so upset now dat he barks.

An heer comes Maman, in her bafrobe, wif her hair all ober an her finger in her buk. An she does not wook happy.

So she wooks atta Fairy Wog-Dawg. He wags his tail.
She wooks atta Fat-Cat in his pootie-box. He stops pawin' da cabinet an wooks back at her.
An she wooks innu da Bun Room, an dere is Mouse gibbin da Cat da Royal Bunny Butt, an me hanging half-way outta my apawtmint wif my ears all forwards.

An Maman says, "Allrite, whut's goin' on out heer?"

So da Fairy Wog-Dawg starts bouncin again.

"Da Fat-Cat is breakin' alla Roolz! He moobed when I told him to sit still, an I'm the sub-alpha Male Dadda left on-Guard by Dadda! Den he didn't axt to go outside wike a good dawg, an hadda "accident" in dat box dere! An den he took a swipe at me as I am doin' my job ob Guardin! An he tawked toda Rabbits, insulted dem! Den he pawed at MY Cookie Cabinet, wike it was his! An he stinked uppa Bunny Room! All ob it, against alla Roolz!"

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg sat down on Maman's left side, an lifted his hed an tried to wook all noble.

But Maman wooked puzzled. "Does Mommy's good boy hafta go outside?"

Anna Dawg wooks up at her an says, "Whut?"

An Maman pats him onna hed an says, "Does a good puppy hafta go outside?"

An dere's dis silence dat settles ober da kitchen - like the kind of silence dat follows when alla lights go out, just bifore alla scweaming stawts.

So, I look ober at Mouse an see dat his shoulders are shakin. An den I wook atta Fat-Cat, an he's got these wide, innycent eyes on, but you can tell, he's laffin' onna inside wiffoud lettin it show too much onna outside.

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg sorta whimpers an sinks down innu a puddle ob fur onna floor nextest to Maman.

An Maman walks past Cokie-da-Fat-Cat in his pootie-box, slides opin da Gate to da Bun Room an opins uppa Back Door. Den she calls da Fairy Wog-Dawg again:

"Come on, Good Boy, let's go outside!"

Anna Fiary Wog-Dawg, who can't refuse an Order frumma Alpha Female, no madder how stoopit it is, slinks past her an stands onna Back Steps and stands wookin' back ober his shoulder at her.

An frumma doorway, Maman says, "Go on, Markie, Mamma will wait right here for you."

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg gibs a big sigh an trots down offa steps innu da Back Garden.

Den Maman gibs us each wunna da Gwapes dat she has inna Big White Box, an gibs da Fat-Cat wunna does Cat-treat-fings cos he's wookin all hopeful. Den she wets da Fairy Wog-Dawg back innu da houz an gibs him a cookie frum his cabinet behind da Cat's litter-box.

Anna Fat-Cat waddles off on his way fru da Dinin Room, an downnahall innu da Sittin Room where Maman has gone. Den da Dawg goes afta him, an I heer Maman again:

"No, Cokie. Cokie, ged offa buk. Cokie, down. Geddown. Get offa me, you fat lummox! No Marc, no. Leave the cat alone. Marc...Stoppit! Cokie - NO! Keep those paws to yourself! Marc, leave the cat a...Cokie, don't you dare bat at the dog...stoppit, you two...stoppit..."

An I'm finkin' how great it is to be a Rabbit...

-------- By George