The Hay Diaries
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10 Mar, 08 > 16 Mar, 08
3 Mar, 08 > 9 Mar, 08
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18 Feb, 08 > 24 Feb, 08
11 Feb, 08 > 17 Feb, 08
4 Feb, 08 > 10 Feb, 08
28 Jan, 08 > 3 Feb, 08
21 Jan, 08 > 27 Jan, 08
14 Jan, 08 > 20 Jan, 08
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10 Dec, 07 > 16 Dec, 07
12 Nov, 07 > 18 Nov, 07
5 Nov, 07 > 11 Nov, 07
22 Oct, 07 > 28 Oct, 07
1 Oct, 07 > 7 Oct, 07
27 Aug, 07 > 2 Sep, 07
20 Aug, 07 > 26 Aug, 07
13 Aug, 07 > 19 Aug, 07
6 Aug, 07 > 12 Aug, 07
30 Jul, 07 > 5 Aug, 07
23 Jul, 07 > 29 Jul, 07
9 Jul, 07 > 15 Jul, 07
18 Jun, 07 > 24 Jun, 07
11 Jun, 07 > 17 Jun, 07
28 May, 07 > 3 Jun, 07
21 May, 07 > 27 May, 07
14 May, 07 > 20 May, 07
7 May, 07 > 13 May, 07
30 Apr, 07 > 6 May, 07
16 Apr, 07 > 22 Apr, 07
2 Apr, 07 > 8 Apr, 07
26 Mar, 07 > 1 Apr, 07
19 Mar, 07 > 25 Mar, 07
12 Mar, 07 > 18 Mar, 07
5 Mar, 07 > 11 Mar, 07
26 Feb, 07 > 4 Mar, 07
19 Feb, 07 > 25 Feb, 07
12 Feb, 07 > 18 Feb, 07
15 Jan, 07 > 21 Jan, 07
1 Jan, 07 > 7 Jan, 07
25 Dec, 06 > 31 Dec, 06
18 Dec, 06 > 24 Dec, 06
11 Dec, 06 > 17 Dec, 06
4 Dec, 06 > 10 Dec, 06
20 Nov, 06 > 26 Nov, 06
30 Oct, 06 > 5 Nov, 06
25 Sep, 06 > 1 Oct, 06
18 Sep, 06 > 24 Sep, 06
4 Sep, 06 > 10 Sep, 06
28 Aug, 06 > 3 Sep, 06
21 Aug, 06 > 27 Aug, 06
14 Aug, 06 > 20 Aug, 06
7 Aug, 06 > 13 Aug, 06
31 Jul, 06 > 6 Aug, 06
10 Jul, 06 > 16 Jul, 06
3 Jul, 06 > 9 Jul, 06
26 Jun, 06 > 2 Jul, 06
19 Jun, 06 > 25 Jun, 06
12 Jun, 06 > 18 Jun, 06
5 Jun, 06 > 11 Jun, 06
29 May, 06 > 4 Jun, 06
22 May, 06 > 28 May, 06
15 May, 06 > 21 May, 06
8 May, 06 > 14 May, 06
1 May, 06 > 7 May, 06
24 Apr, 06 > 30 Apr, 06
17 Apr, 06 > 23 Apr, 06
10 Apr, 06 > 16 Apr, 06
6 Mar, 06 > 12 Mar, 06
27 Feb, 06 > 5 Mar, 06
20 Feb, 06 > 26 Feb, 06
13 Feb, 06 > 19 Feb, 06
6 Feb, 06 > 12 Feb, 06
23 Jan, 06 > 29 Jan, 06
9 Jan, 06 > 15 Jan, 06
2 Jan, 06 > 8 Jan, 06
26 Dec, 05 > 1 Jan, 06
12 Dec, 05 > 18 Dec, 05
5 Dec, 05 > 11 Dec, 05
28 Nov, 05 > 4 Dec, 05
14 Nov, 05 > 20 Nov, 05
7 Nov, 05 > 13 Nov, 05
31 Oct, 05 > 6 Nov, 05
24 Oct, 05 > 30 Oct, 05
17 Oct, 05 > 23 Oct, 05
10 Oct, 05 > 16 Oct, 05
3 Oct, 05 > 9 Oct, 05
27 Jun, 05 > 3 Jul, 05
20 Jun, 05 > 26 Jun, 05
13 Jun, 05 > 19 Jun, 05
6 Jun, 05 > 12 Jun, 05
23 May, 05 > 29 May, 05
16 May, 05 > 22 May, 05
11 Apr, 05 > 17 Apr, 05
4 Apr, 05 > 10 Apr, 05
28 Mar, 05 > 3 Apr, 05
21 Mar, 05 > 27 Mar, 05
14 Mar, 05 > 20 Mar, 05
21 Feb, 05 > 27 Feb, 05
14 Feb, 05 > 20 Feb, 05
7 Feb, 05 > 13 Feb, 05
24 Jan, 05 > 30 Jan, 05
17 Jan, 05 > 23 Jan, 05
10 Jan, 05 > 16 Jan, 05
29 Nov, 04 > 5 Dec, 04
22 Nov, 04 > 28 Nov, 04
15 Nov, 04 > 21 Nov, 04
11 Oct, 04 > 17 Oct, 04
20 Sep, 04 > 26 Sep, 04
13 Sep, 04 > 19 Sep, 04
30 Aug, 04 > 5 Sep, 04
23 Aug, 04 > 29 Aug, 04
16 Aug, 04 > 22 Aug, 04
9 Aug, 04 > 15 Aug, 04
2 Aug, 04 > 8 Aug, 04
26 Jul, 04 > 1 Aug, 04
19 Jul, 04 > 25 Jul, 04
5 Jul, 04 > 11 Jul, 04
28 Jun, 04 > 4 Jul, 04
21 Jun, 04 > 27 Jun, 04
14 Jun, 04 > 20 Jun, 04
7 Jun, 04 > 13 Jun, 04
31 May, 04 > 6 Jun, 04
24 May, 04 > 30 May, 04
17 May, 04 > 23 May, 04
10 May, 04 > 16 May, 04
3 May, 04 > 9 May, 04
26 Apr, 04 > 2 May, 04
19 Apr, 04 > 25 Apr, 04
12 Apr, 04 > 18 Apr, 04
29 Mar, 04 > 4 Apr, 04
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23 Feb, 04 > 29 Feb, 04
16 Feb, 04 > 22 Feb, 04
9 Feb, 04 > 15 Feb, 04
2 Feb, 04 > 8 Feb, 04
26 Jan, 04 > 1 Feb, 04
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Friday, 20 May 2005
May Showers
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: I Love A Rainey Day
Topic: The Next Generation

Oh yeah!

It's rainin' heer!

Afta 16 fresh-scrubbed days filled wif sunbeams anna bright bloo sky, it's comin' down in buckets.

An' you know whut?

It's wunnerful! Some mite ebben say luxurious. Udders wuld say it's just perfekt. An' it is. I knew it was gonna happin, too - knew wast night bifore I went to sleep.

Yeah. Wanna know how I knowed? It's pawt ob bein' 'Tellygint an' learnin' to use your nose to pwan ahead an' stuff. Hunny teached me. He sed, "When you smell dis smell at nite, it means rain bifore mornin'." So now, I allus smell da nite breeze, an' becos dere issa Roo-Teen, da nite-breeze is allus dere for me to sniff.

A Roo-Teen issa good fing to hab. It's a fing dat happins alla time, atta same time, ebbery nite, in preddy much da same way. Maman says we don't had Roo-Teens an' need to ged sum, but Dadda says we habba a Roo-Teen alreddy goin' for us, but it just don't werk so well.

Well, I dunno if da Roo-Teen we gots is enny bedder or worse den ennybunny else's Roo-Teen; each time we do it, it's a widdle bit dif'frunt fromma time we did it bifore, but it all ends up da same way - wif me geddin' to sniff da Night-breeze so I can smell whut da weather will be onna nextest mornin'.

Wike wast nite...

You see, firstest whut happined is dis: Phil called up Maman onna phone an' tawked.

An' tawked.

Which is notta bad fing. It's good dat he anna'Lanna call an' tawk wif Maman so she don't ged lonely fordem. I didn't heer much obba conbersayshun cos Maman was inna Sittin' Room an' Missy an' me was inna Bun Room, but I did heer sumfing aboudda p'rade, an' Memorial Day, an' dem dribin' up frum Mary-Land inna noo car, which was hokay wif me.

So dat's whut was goin' on inna Sittin' Room - Maman tawkin wif Phil.

An' den Dadda comed downnastairs frumma Office, an' you tawk aboudda P'rade! Dere was one rite behind ob Dadda as he comed downnastairs - an whut we're tawkin' heer is two Catz anna Dawg followin' on. Anna whole time dere comin' downnastairs, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat is compwainin' dat he is hongree.

So Dadda calls into da Sittin' Room dat he is stawtin' da Roo-Teen.

An' Maman gets offa phone-fing frum Phil an' she comes out innu da Kitchin.

So she's atta sink, washin' Kitty Dishes, anna Dawg Bowls, anna Bunny Crocks.

Anna Catz is p'radin' back an forf, tawkin.

An' Dadda says, "Wookit, you buggers, ged out frum unner my feets!"

He says dat alla time toda Catz, but da Stoopit Cat nebber listens. She just winds aroun' and aroun' Dadda's feets, tawkin'.

So Dadda falls ober her an' says a Bad Werd in Anglo-Saxon. He says I'm not 'lowed to type it, so I won't.

Den Cokie-da-Fat-Cat stawts tryin' to ged a wook innu da Dawg's bowl, butta Dawg don't wike dat, so da Dawg tries to shub Cokie outta da way. But shubbin Cokie is hard, onna'count obba fakt dat Cokie is pawt brick wall.

So Cokie shubs da Dawg back anna Dawg barks, an' Cokie says a Bad Werd in Cat an' pats da Dawg onna hed. Anna Dawg backs innu Maman who has Keepin' On Her Feets Ishoos.

So Maman yells atta Dawg, anna Dawg tries to appologise, an' hitta Cat wif his butt atta same time. So Cokie pats dat Dwag inna butt wif his claws out, an' Dadda yells at Cokie an' Cokie says he didn't mean enny harm, he was just combin' da Dawg's fur for him.

Anna Dawg barks, "No way!"

Anna Cat says, "Warowl", which is "Way!" in Cat.

So Dadda begins to opin cans ob food anna akshun heats up.

Dadda tells da Dawg to "Sit". Now dis is sumfing da Dawg lerned howta do in Skool. So da Dawg sits for aboud two sekonds an den stands upp'agin. So Dadda tells him to "Sit" an' "Stay".

Da Dawg "Sits". Which is preddy good, cos den da Stoopit Cat comes along an' rubs along unnerneaf da Dawg-head an' flicks her tail unnerneaf ob his nose. Soda Dawg whines an' sneeezes onna Stoopit Cat, anna Stoopit Cat goes ober to Cokie-da-Fat-Cat so she can rub da Dawg Snot off on him. But Cokie don't want enny Dawg Snot, so he sits up an' takes a swipe wif his big-ol'-paw atta Stoopit Cat.

Anna Stoopit Cat smacks him one upside ob Cokie's hed.

An' Dadda hollars an' tells dem dat dey are all "buggers" again.

Soda Stoopit Cat goes along an' comes innu da Bun Room. Well, da Dawg doesn't wike Catz inna Bun Room. It's wunna his "Roolz" dat dere will be No Catz Inna Bun Room. I agree: we don' wanna hab stinky catz inna Bun Room. So as soon assa Stoopit Cat sneaks innu Da Bun Room, da Dawg pops up an' starts to "stalk" da Stoopit Cat.

Now dis "stalkin'" is a fing dat Border Collies do. Dey hold dere heds down low an off toda side, an' walk quiet-footed, wif dere shoulders hunched up, ready to cut-and-run da minit da cat maks a moob. Anna catz know dis, so dey get as far unnerneaf obba bunny habbytats as dey can possibly get, where da Dawg can't fit to chase them.

So ob course, da Stoopit Cat goes unnerneaf ob Beebe an' Clover's habbytat, an' Beebe hollars out, "YO!" an' lets go wiffa 'normus *thump*. For a widdle guy, he's gotta powerful back feets, an' when he lets fly, poor ol' Clover bounces straight up-inna-air wike she's onna tramp-o-leen.

An' Dadda hollars forda Dawg to "Siddown", which da Dawg does, but he's still watchin' da Stoopit Cat wif his head down an' onna side. An' his eyebrows is goin' back an' forf an' upindown, werkin' obertime, wike mad. Den he just shifts his weight, sodat his paw is offa-ground, an' you just know whut's on his mind.

An' sure enuf, da Stoopit Cat makes a break forda Kitchin, an' wike a rockit, da Dawg is afta her. Da Stoopit Cat whips by between Dadda's legs an' skoots aroun' Maman an' ploughs bang into Cokie who is sittin' hed furst inna grocery bag an' didn't see her comin'.

Two fings I learned:
Number 1.:
Two catz cannot fit innu one grocery bag.
Number 2.:
When Dawgs don't know whut to do, they bark.

So now there issa whole lotta screemin' goin' on inna bag, anna Dawg slides to a stop an' stands ober da grocery bag, barkin' his hed off.

So Dadda hollars, "Dat's IT, damnit!" an slams downna can ob dog-food dat he was unloadin' unnu da Dawg Bowl, an' comes poundin' fru da Bun Room. An' he yanks opin da door toda back gardin an' hollars forda Dawg.

An' wookin' preddy sheepish, da Dawg comes an' paddles outta door.

Den Dadda goes back innu da Kitchin, anna grocery bag is suddenly empty anna catz are patrollin' da Kitchin wike nuffin' happined.

So Dadda gwabs dere bowls an' him anna catz all go uppa stairs togedder.

Den da door slams uppastairs an' Dadda comes back by himself.

An' dat's dat, cossa Catz are shut up inna Office where dey habba Guest Room, Office anna'nudder bafroom all to themselbes forda nite.

Den Dadda opins da door an' back in comes da Dawg, an' dis is when I discobbered dat it was gonna rain!

Becos onna night-breeze dat comes inna door wiffa Dawg, dere comes da smell ob rain!


Yeah! Real rain an' I could smeel dat it was headed our way!

So now, dis mornin', the rain is heer, an' we habba soft, gentle kinda day wif no sun, just pearl-grey skys and silver rain drops.

Kind ob makes you wanna just stretch out an' habba nice, quiet nap.

You know?

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:51 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 18 May 2005
Big Trubble!
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Da Catz Did It!
Topic: The Next Generation

Lemme tell you, DIS WAS BAD!

Lastest nite, Maman an' Mouse was inna Sittin' Room watchin' Law-n-Order (which is Mouse's favourite program), an' Dadda was uppystairs inna Office werkin' on his 'puter, an' me an' Missy was sittin' iin our habbytat inna Bun Room ober da cool air vent - yeah.


Do you bemember dat we hadda Heat Vent inna Bun Room, an how Clover an' Beebe an' Mouse all got mad at us cos dey sed Missy an' me were hoggin' alla warm air dat was comin' up outta da speshul Hole-Inna-Floor? Well, I axt Maman abouddit, an' she sed dat Hole-Inna-Floor was sumfing called a "HOT AIR VENT".


Seems dat unner'neaf obba floors in dis Noo Houz dere are dees pafways made outta metal boxes an' dey go innu da "Bazemint" where we bunnies are notta'lowed to go.

Well, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat goed down dere, innu da "Bazemint" (ebbin doh he is tek-nik-lee not 'lowed to go dere eidder, he snuck downnastairs to habba wook, cos Catz is susposed to be sneeky, he sed.). So he wint downnastairs innu da Bazemint an' came back to tell us Bunnies dat dere issa whole other bunch ob rooms (wike 3) down dere, unner'neaf obba whole houz.


An da furst room inna Bazemint hassa big cabinet innit where Maman hassa wotta stuff dat she buys atta mawkit. Cokie says dat dis issa "Pantree" she's allus tawkin' aboud gettin' stuff outta just bifore dinner. He sed it issa rilly big closet an' dere issa wotta stuff innit wike bog roll an' kitchin roll', an stuff in cans, an' stuff in boxes, an' dog food an' cat food, an justa'boud ennyfing else dat Maman needs to run da houz. An also in dis room are alla dek-or-a-shuns for alla HollyDays, all packed in boxes, wif tag onn'em, so Maman won't gedd'em mixt up. An' dere also issa wotta stuff dat Cokie finks pwob'ly goes onna Screened-In-Room dat we habbin't seed yet cos Maman sed it's still a widdle too chilly.

An' dat's dat room.

Den next dere issa'nudder room dat is fulla tools, all lined up onna walls, an in cabinets, an stuff. Cokie sed dis room wooks wike it belongs to Dadda, cos dere are alla tools an' metal boxes ob tools, an assortmints ob nails, an' wires, an screws an' wood, an stuff to make udder stuff. An' inna corner ob dis room dere issa rilly big box dat seems to habba fire inside obbit, anna rilly big, tall round fing wiffa shiney thick blankey around it, dat hassa wotta wadder innit. Anna metal boxes dat Maman sed were "HOT AIR VENTS" come outta da box wiffa fire innit an' dees go innu alla rooms inna houz, an' bring in alla da hot air to Missy an me. Cokie sed dis big box wiffa fire inside is called da "Fur-nace".

An den dere issa Fird Room, which issa biggest room ob alla da rooms inna Bazemint. An' in dis room dere issa speshul drawin' tabul, wif berry fancy tools hung ober it, anna wotta shelbs wif a wotta buks, anna wotta speshul papers wif pikchurs ob berry complykated-wookin' ships, an' trains an' hareplanes. An' dere are bunches ob cabinets wif hareplanes innn'em all lined up, all aroundda room. An' inna'nudder speshul cabinet wif glass doors an' lights inside, dere are dees ships wif tiny ropes wike spider's webs, an' widdle tiny cannons, an' widdle brass plates dat say fings wike "Fair American", an' "Providence" an' "HMS Victory".

An' you know whut else Cokie sed was down inna Bazemint? A whole railroad dat takes up half obba whole room!. Yeah! Anna railroad has tracks an' trains, an' widdle houzes, stores, an' farms, an' ebberyfing!

Budda trains an' all is berry widdle. Cokie says nobunny can ride on'em, not ebben Beebe or Mr Mouse, or ebben a gimmie-pig, or ebben a reel mousey or rattie, onna'count ob dees trains is rilly dat small, but dat dere issa whole widdle werld dat goes wiff'em, wif widdle shops an' widdle stores, an' widdle houzes, an' widdle cowz an' horzes, anna preddy big stashun (which is wike a big houze, only not big enuf to lib in) anna tuggin' boat dat is stuck in sum kinda stuff dat wooks a wot wike wadder, bud it's not.

An' Cokie sed dere are ebben mountains down dere datta train can go fru! Alla stuff is small, wike ebberyfing is for some rilly widdle hoomins. He says it's weird, wike dere issa whole werld down dere, a whole werld almost, wif nobunny libbin' innit, just trains, trains an' more trains!

An Cokie says datta whole room smells ob Maman's Dadda who we called "Bim". It's da same Bim dat singed us da "Spring Song" dat Belinda teached me, dat we sunged as soon as Winter was ober. Da same Bim who went toda Bridge bifore Belinda or Poet or Hunny. Cokie sed datta whole big room an alla stuff innit smells ob Bim an' ob Phil-da-Lad!

Isn't dat strange?

An whut is also strange is dat our Heat Vent inna Bun Room issn't blowin' warm air frumma Fur-ness inna Bazemint ennymore, eidder!

Now it's blowin COLD air! Can you beleeb it? It's blowin' cold air just wike da Air Condishywasher inna Old Bun Room inna Old Houz where we usta lib.

An' Zachary-Marcus, da Dawg, sed dat dere issa Big Round Fing just ober da fence in his Gardin dat goes off an' on, dat makes a hummin' noise on warm days. He says dat when dat Big Round Fing is hummin', dat's whin dere is cold air blowin' fru dees vents dat usta hab hot air blowin' fru dem.

I'm tellin' you, dere issa WOT to learn aboudda Noo Houz!

But as to whut happined wast nite an' howda Catz got inna whole lotta trubble...


Wike I sed, Maman an' Mouse was inna Sittin' Room, sittin' an' watchin' "Law-N-Order", an' Dadda was werkin' uppastairs on his 'puter in his Just-in-CAD Office, an' Missy an' I were inna Bun Room sittin' ober da vent dat was blowin' COLD air...

When alla'suddin, dere wassa TERRIBUL CRASH!

An' Dadda stawted yellin', an' Maman comed scurryin' outta da Sittin' Room, an dere's Mouse, holdin onta her good shoulder for deer life, wif his widdle ears bobbin' up-an-down ober her shoulder as she's climbin' uppastairs.

Well, Mouse sed dat whin dey got uppastairs, it was RILLY BAD!

Da Dawg was grovlin' at Dadda's feets, tryin' to squirm his way up Dadda's pantsweg wiffoud usin' enny paws. (Mouse sed you hadda see dis to beleeb it.) Anna Catz were bof tryin' to fit unneaf obba settee, only Cokie's butt was too big, so dere wassa wotta him still hangin' out, while his claws were all in four-wheel ober-dribe.

An' dere onna floor, nextest to Maman's desk was wunna dose ships wike was inna speshul cabinet wiffa lights in, inna Bazemint dat smelled wike Bim an' Phil-da-Lad. An' just wike does ships inna speshul cabinet inna Bazemint, dis ship had slender sticks for masts an' widdle skinny threads wike spider webs for ropes, an' widdle cannons all tied down onna planked deck wif widdle knots tied inn'em, an' ebbery detail just perfekt - only dis poor ship was in bits!

Mouse sed dat Maman just stared atta ship, while Dadda was 'splainin' datta Dawg had chased da Stoopit Cat up onta da shelb, an' she had tried to jump ober to Maman's desk an' missed, an' dat she had knocked ober da ship an' it had falled onna floor an' braked bifore Dadda could ebben ged outta his chair to catch it or hollar atta catz an' Dawg to "Stoppit".

An' Dadda was berry sad.

He sed he culd fix mostest fings, but dat fixin' dis poor ship was "Beyond him." An' he said dat mebbe they shuld waid for Phil to come frum Mary-wand, becos mebbe Bim had teached him aboudda ships, just wike he had teached him aboudda trains anna hareplanes...

But Maman didn't say ennyfing, Mouse sed. He sed she handed him ober to Dadda an' got down on her knees an' piked uppa brokin' ship an' set it in her lap. An' den she sat dere, holdin' da ship inn'er lap, sorta pokin' atta brokin' bits.

An' she said datta ship was named "Kersage", an' she listed alla ropes wike spider's webs dat was damaged, an named alla masts an' stuff, cos she issa 'storian an' it's pawt ob her business to know alla dat stuff.

An' she told Dadda how her Dadda, Bim, wiked to build da ships, but her pwace inna werld wasta know alla'bout'em, an' dat's how she an' Bim were: he did stuff an' she knowed alla background to whut he did. He stood in frunt ob pebble an' teached an' she stayed inna background, geddin' alla infortymashin for him. He presented stuff, an' she did alla lookin' stuff up for him. He published an' she wooked up alla fakts.

Maman sed it wassa good system.

But she sed dat mebbe dey wuldn't hafta wait for Phil to come to fix da ship afta all.

Becos ob alla years dat she spent inna background, she'd learned a wotta stuff dat nobun wuld hab thought, an' mebbe it was time for her to stawt doin' fings on her own, fora change.

So Maman putta "Kersage" on her desk, wif it's brokin masts an all, an she told da Dawg it was hokay, an' got Mouse back frum Dadda so Dadda culd see whut he culd do aboud gettin' Cokie's butt unstuck frum unner'neaf obba settee - an' don't'cha know Cokie was so upset by alla comoshun dat he hadda fit obba *horks* an' Dadda hadda spend some time pettin' him, so he wuld calm down an stop *horkin'*, but Cokie wuldn't stop *horkin'*, ob course, until Dadda went an' godda kitty tweat-box, an' den Cokie quit *horkin'*.

An' dat's da Big Trubble dat happined heer wast nite.

----------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 9:10 AM EDT
Tuesday, 17 May 2005
Sekond Post Obba Day - Important!
Mood:  smelly
Now Playing: Gas - I Need A Widdle Help Heer!
Topic: The Next Generation
Hokay, dis is sumfing I gotta know aboud, cos I don' unnerstand.

I was watchin' da Noos dis mornin' wif Maman. Well, axtchually, it was onna tellybishon an' it was called "Tiday", or "Good Day" or sumfing wif "day" innit, an' da hoomins onna show was talkin' aboud GAS an' how it costses so much munny.

An' Maman is sittin' dere inna Sittin' Room wif me, an' I'm sittin' onna settee wif her, anna Fat-Cat is sittin' in Dadda's Big Readin' Chair anna Dawg is spread out onna floor onna rug.

An' onna Tellybishon, dey are tawlkin' aboud GAS.

Well, as dey are talkin', alla suddin, da Dawg gets up frum sleepin' an' hassa wook at his tail. Den he, wike, sneeks a wook at me frum unnerneaf of his eyebrows, an' den he sneaks a wook atta Fat-Cat.

Anna Fat-Cat opins one eye an' stretches outta paw wif all ob his hooks pokin' out obbit.

An' den alla suddin', while I'm wigglin' my nose, I begin to smell sumfing.

An' it is nasty!

So I wook atta Dawg, an' I axt him, "Hey, Dawg, whuttaheckissat?"

Anna Dawg says, "I had sum cat-food."

An' alla suddin', da Fat-Cat sits up an' shakes an' wooks at Maman an' says, "She betta let you outside, Dawg, cos you STINK!

An' preddy soon Maman wooks at me wookin' atta Dawg an' she says, "George, dat can't be you!"

An' I wook at her an' say, "Nope, it sure isn't me cos I dunno whuttaheck dat was!"

Anna Dawg wooks at his tail again, an' says, "I fink I'm gonna moob. It's da chikin."

So I wook atta Dawg an' axt him, "Whutsamatta wif your back end dat you keep wookin' attit?"

"I got GAS." says da Dawg.

So I'm, wike, finkin' dis issa good fing, cos dey just was sayin' onna tellybishon dat GAS is so s'pensive, an' here we gots our berry own Dawg an' he's fulla GAS an' seems to be makin' more!

But Maman gets up frumma settee an' piks me up an' says toda Dawg, "You're goin' outside, Zachary-Marcus."

Anna Dawg says, "Yes, Ma'am." an' gets up an' follows behind Maman an' me as we go downnahall an' fru da Dinin' Room anna Kitchin an' innu da Bun Room. An' while we were passin' fru da Bun Room, Maman drops me off inna habbytat wif Missy.

So den Maman opins da door an' out goes da Dawg innu da Gardin'.

Anna Fat-Cat bumbles up an' Maman says to him, "Dere. Da Dawg's outside. Wet's hope he gets alla GAS outta his system out dere."

Anna Fat-cat is purrin' wike a big mixin' machine. An just afta he goes unnerneaf ob mine an' Missy's habbytat, he lifts up his tail an' says,


Which is cat-tawk for, "Wook at me! I gots GAS, too!"

An' den da Fat-Cat says, "Burrruck." which is cat-speak for: "I hadda chikin wast nite, too."

An Maman suddenly sniffs atta air, an she wooks down atta Fat-Cat an' hollers at'him, "Good Lord, Cokie! Go on, get upstairs to your pootie-box! You're going to suffocate the bunnies!"

Anna Fat-Cat wooks at her, and says, "Airrrr!" which is his way ob sayin' bad werds aboudda Dawg, an decids frum da wook on her face dat Maman issn't kiddin' 'bout goin' uppastairs. So he beats feets outta da Bun Room an heads forda stairs an' shambles on up.

An' Maman leebs da Bun Room mutterin' aboudda "... tell Brian - No more ob dat darned canned chikin cat-food!"

Which leebs me sittin' inna habbytat wif Missy. An Missy is sittin' wif her butt wedged inna pooty-box.

So I axted her, "You got enny ob dat GAS stuff innu?"

An' Missy wooks at me an wifts up wun ear all superior-wike, an' says,

"No. I'm a wady an' wadies don't ebber hab GAS. Not ebber. It's just a nasty boy-fing!"


So now I'm puzzled.

Cos iffa Fat-Cat has GAS, anna Dawg has GAS, an' GAS is such a s'pensib an' valuable commodity wike dey say it is onna tellybishon, den why is Maman wettin' alla GAS inna Fat-Cat anna Dawg an ebberybunny go outta da dem for free?

I mean, doesn't she wanna sell it? Or could we sell it an' ged rich?

Dadda sed dat if we culd sell Missy's pooties, we culd be rich. Dat's cos she has nice, round, big pooties. Dadda says dat Missy issa most 'ficient converter ob hay innu pooties dat he has ebber seed. An' he's seen a wotta pootie-converters, he says.

But for sum rezon, when Dadda says dis, Missy gets all mad an stuff.

But enneyways, I don' unnerstand enny ob dis stuff aboudda GAS!

Why do only Boyz habbit?

An' why issit so valuable?

An' why are dey tawkin' aboud GAS onna tellybishon? Don't dey hab enuf? Maybe we shuld send dem summa dat chikin cat-food?

An' why are our best sources ob GAS (an I know dis is troo cos Maman sed so!) - Why are our best sources ob GAS: Dadda, Phil, da Dawg an Cokie-da-Fat-Cat - just wettin' all obbit it woos innu da air for free? An'WHY is Maman wettin' dem!?

An' whuttaheck has chikin gotta do wiffit ennyways?

Enny help wuld be apprishyated, cos I am wun bewildered bunny!

-------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:38 PM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 17 May 2005 1:02 PM EDT
Good Mornin'!
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Catz, Dawgs an' Werk
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, we gots Cat-Pwoblems again.


I'm Uppystairs again inna Office an' just-as-soon-as I gotted heer, dere wassa Cat onna desk.

An' don't'cha know it wassa Stoopit Cat, da wun dat Maman calls "Beep".

So I'm hangin' on to Maman's shoulder (da wun dat werks), an' Maman says toda Stoopit Cat, "Moob, Beep."

Anna Stoopit Cat just wooks at her.

An' I'm finkin' to myself,

"You know, George, whut's goin' on heer, issa wot wike whut was happin' wast nite."

Cos, wast nite, I was goin' innu da Sittin' Room wif Maman, anna Fat-Cat was sittin' inna Dadda's Big Readin' Chair. An' Dadda comes in an says toda Fat-Cat, "Moob Cokie", an' stawts ta siddown inna Big Readin' Chair.

Anna Fat-Cat wooks up an he sees Dadda's bottom comin down anna Fat-Cat goes, "Yrulp", which is kinda da sound he makes to show he's not moobin'.

But da Dadda-butt keeps on comin' down. So den whenna Dadda-butt comes down onna Cokie-tail, da Fat-Cat wet's outta 'Yhawl' an' den 'Whah!' an' den flips ober an' sinks his claws innu Dadda's weg.

An den Dadda goes -

Well, I'm not 'lowed to say whut Dadda sed, cos he says it's Anglo-Saxon which is notta language dat bunny-boys are susposed to type.

Butta Fat-Cat got outta da Big Readin' Chair inna hurry an' Dadda got innu it, so you can kinda fill inna bwanks for yourself.

An' dat's whut I was finkin' 'bout when Maman putted me down onna tabul dat is her desk.

Cos just when she putted me down, da Stoopit Cat goes, "Eeep", just wike dat an hops down offa tabul, onto Maman's chair.

So Maman tips da chair butta Stoopit Cat hangs on. So Maman tips da chair again, anna Stoopit Cat still hangs on - onna count obba fakt datta Dawg is sittin' rite unnerneaf obba chair wif his grin on.

So Maman tips da chair again, an' just as she does, da Stoopit Cat puts outta paw, puts da paw onna Dawg's hed, an' usin' da Dawg assa steppin' stone, walks ober da Dawg's hed, down his nek an' ober his bak to ged toda floor.

Which causes da Dawg to turn hisself innu a tight cirkul, step on his own tail an' stumble, an hit his hed onna tabul leg, while da Stoopit Cat just walks away frumma Dawg wif her tail inna air, wike she don't care.

An' I'm finkin' dat it must be hard bein' a Dawg when nobunny takes you seriously, cept assa steppin' stool to ged frumma chair toda floor or uses you assa auxtillyairy amblatory rubbish bin to putta left-obers in, as happined wast nite wiffa remains obba pizza an' dat strand ob hay.

You see, yestidday da Dawg founded a strand ob hay onna floor inna Bun Room an' he eated it an' got sik.

Well, not rite away, it was more wike dis:

He ate da strand ob hay inna Bun Room, den trabbelled alla way uppastairs toda Office bifore he started making heebin-tummy noises, which alerted Maman toda fakt datta Dawg was just about gonna become sik. Dawgs are good dat way; dey gib you warnin' dat dey are gonna be sik.

So, wiffa Dawg's sides goin' in an' oud wike anna'cordion, da Dawg an' Maman came poundin' downastairs rilly fast, made da turn atta bottom obba stairs an' charged fru da Libbin Room, made anudder turn, an' hedded on fru da Dinin' Room, wiffa Dawg's sides still heebin', an' runned fru da Kitchin, an on fru toda Bun Room, wif Maman hollerin', "Come on! Wet's go outside!" (Wike da Dawg hadda'nudder pwace to go to, you know?) while she's tryin' wike mad to gedda bak-door unwocked. So she geds da door unwocked, an' pushes him out obbit, anna Dawg bounds out innu da Gardin an' geds sik.

An bifore you know it, he's back sittin' onna steps an barkin', wantin' to come inside, cos geddin' sik is wun-obba-fings dat Dawgs wike to do!

You know, you can fink you know a Dawg an' nebber ged to da end ob dere minds. Dis is mainly cos dey don't hab minds, but dat's anudder story.


An' so ennyways, here comes da sun, an Dadda has gone off to werk. It's not his reg'lar werk. His reg'lar werk is wif 'puters for da place he usta werk where dey habba machines that cuts steel. It's da same pwace where dat good hoomin named Kutee werks who knowed Our Hunny an' called him "A respected elder ob his peeble." Which I fink wassa berry nice fing to say aboud Hunny, cos it was troo.

So Dadda's noo werk is atta same pwace, but it's runnin' da big machines werkin' along wif Kutee, helpin' out cossa Kutee's an' Dadda's friend, Peter, has re-tired an' goed home to visit his warren somewhere far away. I don't know where Peter's warren is, but I hope dat Peter hassa happy time bein' dere, cos he's a good hoomin, too.

So Dadda issa onliest person datta pwace knew to call who culd run dose machines, as well as run da 'puters, an' an alla dat udder stuff dey need him tado, cos Our Dadda issa Engine-Wif-Ears, an berry 'Tellyginet.

An' you know whut else? Our Phil-da-Lad gotted a noo car! An' dis means dat he can come an' visit at Our Warren (cos Maman an' Dadda are geddin' too owd to go an' visit him an' 'Lanna onna'count ob Maman not bein' able to sit inna car dat wong.). So now dey can come to us inna Noo Car! Maman sed dere wassa wotta "buggerin' about" geddin' dis noo car, but you know whut I fink?

I fink dat dere is nuffin' dat geds done dat doesn't take a whole lotta buggerin' about onna pawt obba hoomins.

Some day, I will hab to write a blog aboud dis "Bugger Faktor" as Dadda calls it, but for now, dere issa sunbeam comin' in heer, so I fink I will just follow Hunny's adbice an' hab dis wisp ob hay an' habba nap.

--------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 7:16 AM EDT
Monday, 16 May 2005
A Noo Day
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Outta Winders
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, dis mornin' Maman piked me up outta my habbytat inna Bun Room an' wif her hand unner my frunt paws an' her udder hand unner'neaf my butt, she wooked me inna eye an' axt me,

"Babby George, do you hab ennyfings you wanna say inna blog tiday?"

An' I wooked at her wif my butt kinda rounded up inna air, an my nose wigglin', an my hextpression kinda dead-pan an' said,

"You gotta be kiddin' me. I habbin't hadda Blog to type in for weeks an' weeks, or habbin't you noticed?"

An' Maman sed, "I guess I habbin't bin listenin' to you, have I?"

An I ansured back, "No, you habbin't. Cos just aboudda onliest fing you bin listenin' to is when Missy an me pushed da pootie-box out inna middle obba habbytat yestidday, cos dat wun was so disgustin' we hadda hab it cleaned or else. You did hear dat, but dat's aboud all."

An don'chu'know dat just while I was sayin' dat, she was tryin' to lower me back innu da habbytat!

So I wiggled an kicked out wif my back feets, an hollarded out, "HEY! YOU AREN'T LISTENIN'!"

But she putted me down ennyways an' den turned toda Dawg dat was standin' dere, waggin' his tail an grinnin' an sed,

"You wanna go outside?"

Anna Dawg wagged his tail harder an' grinned more, an' shot a quick glance at me an sed, "Sorry, but I gotta habba morinin' bark. It'ssa Top Dawg fing. Gotta go out again, read'da Noos onna breeze, an' den bark my Noos to alla udder dawgs alla'round an den I'll be rite back in. It's Whut Dwags Do."

An I'm wike, "Yeah, whutebber.", an sat down to habba scratch at my ear.

So Maman opins da Back Door an' wets outta Dawg while I'm habbin' my scratch, an' shure enuf, da Dawg goes out onna back steps, an' stands dere fora few sekonds an' den shoots off wike a bwack-an'-white furry rokit, barkin' his stoopit hed off.

Anna breeze comes in fru da Back Door an' brings inna Smells Obba Neighbourhood to our Habbytats. I culdn't smell ennyfing speshul, just trees an' grass, anna squirr'ls dat lib inna trees an' was preddy much it. Dere is nuffin' to see outta'Back Door cos it is too high for us to see outta - we just catch a glimpse obba BlooSky an' mebbe a Cwoud now an' den, wike out our own Our Warren Memorial Winder wiff'its' Sun-Catchers-By-Shawn.

An' Maman shuts da door an' turns bak to me.

An' she says, "You wanna Blog, widdle Georgie?"

An' I'm wike, "Well, yeah. I only bin axtin' you ebbery day for wike, weeks, but you habbin't bin listenin'." while she's pikin' me uppa'gin.

So I put my paws on her shoulder (her good one, cossa udder one is no good to hang on to onna'count ob it gibs out on me when I put my paws ober it) an hang on, an' we walk fru da Dinin' Room, anna Libbin' Room, an' go Uppastairs innu da Office, which is where da 'puters are.

An' she sets me down onna green carpet an' I'm wike, "Whoa." Cossa wast time I was uphere inna Office, dere was boxes ob buks all ober da pwace, an now dere issn't. Whut dere is issa wong sofa fing dat hassa Cokie-da-Fat-Cat onnit, anna Big Desk dat smells wike Dadda, anna Tabul dat hassa'wotta Dadda's stuff onnit, anna metal tray-wike fing wif wegs Maman calls a "coffee tabul" dat has papers onnit, an' dere is Maman's big tabul wif buks an papers an anudder tabul wif her 'puter onnit. An bukshelbs! Whoa, I mean we're talkin' bukshelbes dat go alla waya'rounda room wif alla buks all lined up in rows afta rows!

An' on top ob alla dis stuff, dere issa'nudder door anna'nudder room, so I went hext'plorin' innu dere an' dere was justa'wotta furnitchur anna'nudder bafroom anna cat-pootie-box.

So I stopped an' ob course, weft a contribushun rite onna top. Belinda sed dat is only polite to leeb a contribushun rite onna top obba cat-pootie-box, an' I amma polite bunny-boy.

So I comed back innu da Office an hopped up onna chair wiffa arms dat is at Maman's 'puter tabul, an dere was her 'puter, hummin' away, an' her yucky coffee gettin' cold innit's cup, anna boddle ob wadder, anna stoopit-wookin' clay figgere'en holdin pencils anna box ob tisshoos dat hasn't bin chewed yet.

So I hopped up dere an' hadda wook, an' you know whut? Dere wassa winder! Yup. Rite dere - an it was OPIN! Justa widdle, but it was OPIN an' dere were Da Smells Obba Neighbourhood comin' in dat winder onna breeze!

So I sat down an' wooked, an' I culd see so far! I culd see da tops obba tree inna Frunt Gardin, anna mail-box atta kerb, an I culd see da dribeway where Dadda parks da Car, an I culd see da Houz Acrosst da Street! I culd see Ebberyfing frum dis winder! It was 'mazin'. Much nicer denna Back Door where da Dawg goes out ob, an' much more to see eben, den outta Our Warren Memorial Winder!

I culd ebben see da Bird Houzez inna trees inna Frunt Garden!

An' you know whut? Dere are birdies inna Bird Houzez! I seed'em flyin' in an' out! Widdle birdies flyin' in an' out wif widdle bits ob dis'n'dat inna widdle birdie-beeks. I fink datta birdies are buildin' homes inside obba widdle houzez.

Now issn't dat nice?

An' alla birdies is talkin' an chirpin' an' I culd ebben hear da Dawg barkin' inna Back Gardin, an' hear da Owd Dawg, Beau, who libs nextest door whufflin' to Our Marcus Dawg.

Anna smells comin' inna winder! I smelled da trees, anna flowers, anna street, anna garbage truck dat was crashin' arounn'a neighbourhood, anna Mail Truck wint by, stoppin' just wong enuf to put som stuff inna Mail Box atta kerb.

An' I culd see alla dis frumma winder inna Office, high inna sky.

So whutebber I was gonna blog aboud, I fink I fortygod aboud'dit onna'count ob wookin' outta winder an' seein' alla stuff dere is to see.

An' while I was watchin' alla dis goin' on, da mornin' cwouds moobed away frum each udder, anna sunbeem came out an' sailed rite fru da winder an' on to me!

So I axt you, does it ged enny bedder denna Spring Mornin, wookin outta opin winder?

I don't fink so!

Hey, Auntie Patwicia Na! Fank you for geddin' Maman to moob her butt!

---------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 8:06 AM EDT
Sunday, 10 April 2005
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Anudder Pause
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Belinda Bunny used her Blog to commint on Current Events. Axtually, she used it to tawk aboud whutebber came innu her hed furst, an a wotta whut came innu her hed had to do wif whut was goin' on inna werld in gen'ral.

Now, cos I am still a youngbun an' not quite as 'Tellygint as Belinda, I hab consintrated more on lernin' an sharin' infortymayshun, an not so much on sharin' my 'pinions on werld affairs. But just cos I don't share my 'pinions doesn't mean dat I don't hab 'pinions - just dat I don't share'em.

Know whut I mean?

Well, now I'm gonna share one ob my 'pinions.


Here goes:

Stoopit hoomins go ebberywheres.

Dat's rite. Dey do.

No madder where you go, you will run innu stoopit hoomins.

Now, you will notis dat bunnies sort of worry aboud becoming 'Tellygint - for us, bein' 'Tellygint issa Goal In Life. Dis is becos when you are a Prey Annymul, bein' stoopit is not a choice dat will grant you a long an' satisfaktory life. In fackt, bein' stoopit will just aboud allus gar-ran-tee dat you will habba short, nasty exsistance, followed by a terryfyin' end. So bein' stoopit is not whut you wuld call a good Life Choice for ennybunny.

Which is why 99.99999% obba bunnies opt for growin' 'Tellygint.

But hoomins don't. An ebberywheres you go inna werld you will find Stoopit Hoomins.

Now heer is why I fink dis:
1.) Dis mornin', while I was readin' da noospaper wif Maman, I finded dis HedLine: "No Hop For Older Rabbits". So I finked, "Whutdaheck is dis?" an heer wassa artykul sayin' aboud how hoomins were dumpin' dere older bunnies outside so dat dey culd "replace" dem wif cuter, young bunnies dey are findin' at Easter-time. Anna RSPCA, which issa Annymul Welfare Police in Inkwand, which issa YouNited Kingdom, was pickin' up alla bunnies dat dey culd and gettin' dem innu shelters where dey wuld be safe.

Now whut culd be stoopiter den dis? Hoomins wif perfektly good companion bunnies are dumpin' dem so dey can get udder, widdle bunnies? WHY? Dis is unbelieveably sad! To ged rid obba friend just to ged anudder one? It makes no sense. And it is cruel. Dees stoopit hoomins Do Not Deserb To Hab Companion Bunnies Nebber Again!. *THUMP* Dey deserb to hab sumfing painted on dere heds dat will stay dere forebber dat says, "Dis Issa Stoopit Person! Not Allowed to Hab Pets!"

So dere apparently are a wotta stoopit hoomins in Inkwand.

Da good noos is dat Dadda got outta dere bifore he got stoopit wike dem, cos I habba feelin' dat stoopitity is kinda wike a disease: it spreads.

But den, dere are a wotta stoopit hoomins inna pwace called Australia, an inna YouNited States, too, who dump bunnies at Easter Time.

I know. I wassa Dumped Easter Bunny. An I can tell you - bein' shut up inna box an bein' left OnAlone inna V-E-Ts' office is terryfyin'. You try it. It sucks.

2.) A nudder rezon why I fink dat hoomins allow too much stoopitity in dere species is dis: You know dat berry brave, berry kind Pope dat just crossed ober Da Rainbow Bridge? Yeah, him. John Paul (only he hadda nudder name bifore he was 'dopted assa Pope - sumtimes dis happins when you are 'dopted, dat you gedda noo name) crossed da Rainbow Bridge anna wotta hoomins gaddered togedder inna pwace called It'ly to lite candles for him an ebberyfing, to help lite his Pafway Toda Bridge. An den dere's dis Bishop, who has wike NO SENSITIBITY to ennyfing, an he hasta go an ged his name inna noospapers by speakin' ill obba Depawted.

Now whut's up wiff'at?

I mean, dere is plenty ob time for a hoomin to stand up an say, "Hey you. I don't wike whut you are doin'." when da person is alibe an can tawk aboud da rezons why dey are doin' whut dey're doin'. But to wait until dey are crossin da Rainbow Bridge an den shoutin' out, "Hey you!" - I mean dat's just poor manners, you know? So howcome dis Bishop of Litchfield is only bein' critical now? Mebbe cos da weight ob his Bishop's hat is, wike, compressin' his good sense? Or issit more impawtant for him to ged his face inna noospapers den to respeck sumbunny who he don't agree wif, but who at least was honest an forthright all his life?

You godda wonder, you know? So rite away, den, we gots Stoopit Hoomins in Inkwand, Australia, da YouNited Kingdom, anna YouNited States an den in It'ly.

3.) An heer's da Third Fing dat has me convinced dat hoomins are choosin stoopitity assa Life Goal: Dis Prince Charles an his bondmate, Camilla geddin married. Well, you know, when I found Missy, an made dat hole so I culd go see her alla time, I wassa Happy Bunny. An ebben doh I made a mess ob my habbytat en ebberyfing, an kept Maman an Dadda awake by singin' my Makin' A Hole song fru da nite, nobunny sed ennyfing nasty to me aboudd'it. Dey were happy dat I was happy.

So whuttsamatta wif dis Prince guy bein happy? An why does marryin' his bondmate make him unfit to beda King? An why issit ebberybunnies' biznezz ennyway? Udder Hares toda Thrown hab married "commoners" bifore (I wooked dis up in Maman's buks), an ebben had kids wiff'em dat dey gabe royalty names to (which seems to be how royalty geds made - by bein' aroun'na Kings an soforth) so maybe da ones dat is hollerin' da loudest are da ones who didn't gedda invite to share da Weddin' Nanner wiffa Happy Couple?

I just hate it when I see sumbun who is happy an ebberybunny goes to a lotta trubble to pour a lotta ants on dere picknick (as Maman says). Cos atta end obba story, all you find issa whole lotta envy goin' on - green-eyed monsters inna Noos repawters, tryin' to create trubble where dere is none just so dat ebberybun will buy dere story an make dem munnies. Mebbe when dat Charles guy gets to be King, dere will be sum changes made at dat BBC pwace an den da winders will be opined, an alla doors, anna Troof will be 'lowed to come outside for ebberybun to see.

Now wuldn't dat be sumfing? Just da Troof, wiffoud a dwessup in coloured clothes. Whoa. Now dere's a concept! Insted obba wotta "reality" stuff onna tellybishon, whut if we got to see "da Troof"?

Nahhh. We won't. Nobunny will, not ebber. Cos dere is no munny in axtin stoopit hoomins to form dere own 'pinions. Maman says it takes werk to fink up 'pinions, an sumtimes habbin' 'pinions can make a hoomin unpopular wif udder hoomins.

4.) Wike in Eye-Rak. More stoopit hoomins. Heer are a bunch ob hoomins tryin' to make a noo countree an 'lect a noo Top Bun. Hokay, dis is hard werk - belieb me, I know, cos when Hunny went to da Rainbow Bridge, we hab had trubble findin' OneBun to take ober bein' Top Bun heer. But in Eye-Rak, don't dees Stoopit Hoomins hab to go an habba Neggytib p'rade, complainin aboud how dey don't wike dis an dat? So, wike, if dey culd just ged togedder an 'lect a gobbermint ob sum kind, den alla udder hoomins dey don't wike wuld leeb ennyways.

So da ansur toda pwoblem is not to hold a p'rade wif critical floats an' re-enactmints an stuff, but to say whut dere guy can do dat is good forda countree an ged him 'lected so dey can help in buildin' da pwace back up.

Da ansur to enny pwoblem is not to compwain, but to do sumfing to help. If you don't godda idea aboud how to fix whut is wrong, den siddown an' shaddup an' wet sumbun else habba chance.

Issat so hard? Ushally ebberybun alreddy knows whut da pwoblems are. It's how to fix stuff dat has 'em confoozled. Cos you hab to grow 'Tellygint in order to fix stuff - stoopitity nebber fixed ennyfing.

So, by my count, we seem to hab stoopit hoomins in a wotta pwaces all ober da werld. In fackt, if you wook carefully atta noospapers, it seems wike stoopit hoomins are just aboud da onliest subjekt dat's bein' written aboud.

An' dis is disturbin, cos as ebbery rabbit knows - as ebbery prey annymul knows - bein' stoopid preddy much equals bein' dead inna neer footchur.

So, you know whut? I'd radder be 'Tellygint an werk at habbin 'pinions den be stoopit an den dead. Shure, it's easier to be stoopit; it's easier to be dead, too, but not much fun, an shure not berry useful.

So I'm gonna keep up werkin' on becomin' 'Tellygint, like Belinda told me. Cos choosin Life seems a whole lot bedder den choosin' to be dead.

------------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:56 AM EDT
Wednesday, 6 April 2005
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: We Innerrupt Dis DikShunAiry...
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

We innerupt dis DikShunAiry to bring you da followin rant...


Well, you know, yesterday aftanoon we was preddy much mindin our own biznezz inna Bun Room - habbin' sum hay an habbin' naps an' all wike reg'lar bunnies - when Maman comes in an says to Dadda,

"I smell pooties."

Well, as we saw it, dat's No Big Deal. Smellin' is whut you're susposed to do wif pooties, which is why we do them - to let udders know where our individual bounderies happin to be located. Leebin' pooties is like printin' your address onna atmospheric noospaper - ebberybun knows where you lib an dat's preddy much dat.

So Dadda comes innu da Bun Room an hassa sniff an he wooks at Maman an says,


An Maman goes to da hallway an brings out Mr Broom.

Well dis is No Big Deal eidder, cos she is allus geddin out Mr Broom an sweepin uppa Bun Room. It's Whut She Does. She sweeps up alla loose hay onna floor bifore da Stoopit Cat, Beep, can pik it up an carry it away to Udder Pawts Obba Houz (which is Whut She Does). An' Maman makes a pile ob un-eaten hay, stray pooties, lost pellets an kicked-out litter an den holds opin da Back Door an sweeps ebberyfing outta door - ushually on-toppa da Collie Dawg who happins to be comin' inna door when she is sweepin' stuff out, but dat's His Pwoblem an not Our Warren's.

So Mr Broom comin' out is No Big Deal.

Den Dadda gets da trash bin an Beebe-Bunny sees it furst an he calls out,


But since he's allus callin' out "YO!" nobunny pays him enny attenshun. Yellin' "YO!" is Whut He Does an' da rest ob us are used to it by now.

An den Mouse says,

"Uh oh..."

An we look up, cos Mouse don't ushally say dat.

An dere is Dadda wiffa trash bin.

An he says to Maman, "If we wheel Mouse out innu da middle obba floor, we can pull da bottom out..."

An wike he's sum kinda grocery cart, Dadda gwabs hold ob Mouse's apawtmint an pulls it out frumma wall innu da middle obba floor. An Dadda fiddles aroun' wiffa few clips, and gibs a tug, an da whole bottom ob Mouse's apawtmint pulls out frum unner him!

An dere is Mouse standin onna grate ob his cage, wookin down atta nekkid floor unnerneaf him!

Well, Mouse takes a BIG leap an lands in his pootie-box. At least he has solid ground unner his paws! He laid down dos pooties himself, so he knows dey are safe, but for how long? I mean, we all know dat pooties can pile high, but how long will dey last assa foundayshun fora radder well-built Nedderlands Dwarf Bunny-boy?

So Mouse is inna pootie-box, hangin' on for grim death wif big eyes.

An Maman an Dadda take da bottom ob his apawtmint downna hallway toda bafroom an dere issa sound ob lotsa wadder runnin.

An Missy lifts up her ears an says, "Oh no... hear dat?" an she back up inna hurry innu her pootie-box.

Da sound ob wadder runnin' can do dat to a bunny.

So den Maman an Dadda come back wiffa bottom ob Mouse's apawtmint an afta a wotta buggerin' about (as Hunny wuld say) dey getta bottom shoved back innu pwace.

So Mouse takes a step out ob his pootie-box an heer comes Maman wif Mr Broom!

So Mouse reverses gears an gets his butt back innu da pootie-box while Maman sweeps.

Den dat's done an Dadda wheels Mouse back innu his place.

An Mouse wooks down atta bottom ob his apawtmint an says,

"Dey taked my pooties!"

Well now. Dis is NOT cool. Speshully not when Mouse had gone to so much trubble to assemble such a good collectshun obb'em! I mean, dere was, wike, several days worf ob effort in dere and it was just gone, wike dat! Totally gone! Da whole bottom was bwight, shiney an completely cleen again. Just like noo.

An - ged dis - it didn't smell at all. Not one bit. Not ebbin faintly.

An Missy has her butt plugged firmly innu her pooti-box says to me,

"Tell me he issn't comin ober heer."

An I stood up an hadda wook, an shure enuf, heer comes Dadda toward me wif Maman behind him.

An Maman says, "You know, if we put summa dis stuff out onna garden, it will be good forda flowers if I rake it in."

An Dadda says, "Trubble is, dere is too much obbit. We put out alla dis stuff anna neighbours are gonna complain."

An Maman says, "You fink? We culd waid until Dark."

An Dadda says, "Well, I don't fink ebben Dark is gonna hide alla dis, ebben if we dump it all inna pond atta end obba garden."

And dere standin ober Missy an Me an wookin down. So I'm standin up wike I wanna pet, cos wookin cute ushally works to ged Maman to fortyged whutebber stupitidee she's currently workin on.

Bud not dis time.

Cos Dadda takes hold ob our apawtmint an rolls us out inna middle obba floor obba Bun Room an stawts tryin to pull outta bottom ob OUR apawtmint.

Only he can't.

Cos Missy is plugged innu her pootie-box, an I'm standin up down here by my pootie-box, so dere are two big bunnies atta end obba apawtmint, holdin ebberyfing down.

An Dadda says, "Wookit you two buggers..." An he pokes Missy's tail, but she don't moob. So he reaches in an puts his hand unnerneaf ob me an I kinda hop up an bounce down, which gibs me some spring offa da floor obba apawtmint, so I hop again, which gibs Missy a bounce an she comes unplugged frum her pootie-box an goes bouncin down da apawtmint, which gibs da floor some more preddy soon, we're bouncin UpAnDown cos we can't help ourselbs, onna'count obba floor bouncin wif us wike beans bouncin onna griddle.

An dere's Dadda, tryin to gwab hold obba bottom ob our apawtmint while we're bouncin wike beans an can't help ourselbes.

An rite aboud dat time, da whole bottom comes unstuck frum it's rails an sorta dwops all-at-once.

Well, Dadda catches it as it's goin' down, as Maman tries to gedda'hold obba'udder end, howebber, her shoulder don't werk too good, so ob course, she dwops her end ob fings an dere is hay an most ob our Winter coats all ober.

But Dadda managed to gwab hold obba main pawt which had most obba pooties.

So he said some werds inna speshul language he knows called "Anglo-Saxon" dat we Bunnies aren't susposed to know. Hunny knowed it, bud he sed I was too young to learn it. Da onliest werd I unnerstand innit issa werd, "bugger", which seems to appear quite a lot, so it must be an impawtant werd to be used so much.

So ennyways, I habba wook down an you know whut? All I saw unnerneaf ob my paws was FLOOR!

Dat was it! Da onliest fing between Missy an me fallin twoo foots to our deaths was dis bouncy floor ob our apawtmint. Who knew? I mean, dat all dat stood between us an disaster wassa bouncy sheet ob screen cobbered wif seagrass mats anna plastic slidy bottom!? No wonder Mouse had jumped innu his pootie-box when dey pulled his bottom out frum unner him!

Well, I tried gettin innu da pootie-box, too, but da ones dat we hab only accommie-date half-a-bunny ob my gen'ral size an shape. Missy an me aren't widdle Nedderland Dwarfs. Nope! We're wike large, ekonomy-sized rabbits ob gen'rous proporshuns! So when I got innu da pootie-box, I discobbered dat only da frunt pawt ob George fit - da whole back-end was hanging out. So I turned aroun an fit da back end in, but den da frunt end was hangin' out - so no madder how close togedder I put my feets, it didn't werk - dere was too much George an nod enuf pootie-box.

So I wooked ober at Missy an she was habbin da same trubble as me, only more obbit, cos she issa bigger bunny-gurl den me.


Den Maman an Dadda comed back wif our bottom an Dadda stawts to slide it back in...

An it won't go.

An Dadda says to Maman, "It won't fit."

An Maman wooks unnerneaf an axts, "Howcome?"

An Dadda says fru his teefs, "Cos we hab two lard-butt rabbits warping the whole bottom of the habitat. Look at that! See if you can get Missy up to your end and I'll keep George down here."

So Dadda pokes Missy inna butt an she stawts bouncin again. Well, don'cha know dat when Missy stawts bouncin again, dat bounces me, too. So she's bouncin UpAnDown, headin towards Maman, an here I go, rite along wif her!

An Dadda's yellin, "George! George! Dis Way!"

An I'm yellin bak at him, "Lookit, Stoopit, I'm doin' my best heer..." while I'm bouncin UpAnDown nextest to Missy.

An Missy lets outta wail ob, "I don't wike dis!" an WHAM she wets go wiffa extry hard *thump* that sends me aboud sebben inches up inna air.

So while I'm airborne, Dadda gibs da bottom a good, hard shove, anna fing slams innu pwace unner'neaf ob us - so dat when I come down, I can see da floor disappearin' anna bottom come back.

So dat was reassurin'.

An' now our apawtmint don't smell ob nuthin ennymore, just wike Mouse's.

Home Sweet Generic Home.

An den it's Clover an Beeb's turn.

Well, Beeb issa slob an Clover issa Ms Marfa Stewart obba Bunny Werld. Only Clover is honest and don't do enny Insider Trading an she's notta Fashunnazi or ennyfing wike dat. Hokay, so she's not Marfa Stewart, but she issa berry clean an organised bunny. In fact, Maman has nebber seed a bunny who keeps a houz wike Clover does.

Clover carries alla uneaten hay toda frunt obba apawtmint so Maman can sweep it out ebbery mornin. An Clover will push a dirty pooty-box toda frunt obba'pawtimint for Maman to clean, too. An Clover don't wike to hab toys in her wadder crock an will pike dem out if Beeb frows dem in. An Clover is berry, berry neat about allus usin' her litter-box. She nebber hassa akydent, whereas Beebe is just one mobile akydent dat keeps on happinin ober an ober.

So, it's wike Beeb will pootie an pee ebberywheres except inna pootie-box.

He calls dis "freedon frum tyranny" but Clover says it's just laziness an whumps his butt ebbery now an'den.

But he's deboted to her, an keeps her nicely groomed and lubly, so dat's good.

So Maman an Dadda wheeled dem out innu da middle obba floor an pulled dere bottom out frum unner dem.

Well, by dis time, as Clover sed, she had time to see whut eggakly was goin' on, so she wasn't too boddered aboud'it. But she is anudder BIG bunny gurl an she was parked atta end obba apawtmint, so Dadda poked her inna butt, too, just wike he poked Missy.

An Clover took a big hop anna floor bounced.

Well, Beebe issa WOT smaller den I am. He's whut you call a Hot-tot, which issa speshul kind ob sort ob Nedderlands Dwarfie-shaped bunny wif black ear-tips an black eye-liner onna primarily white bunny. In udder werds, he don't weigh more den four pounds soakin wet - which is aboud half ob whut Clover weighs. So, ob course, when she bounced down onna floor, he bounced up aboud twice as high. I mean, he rilly got some altytood goin'. Like, if he'd put his ears up, he culdda touched da top ob his apawtmint an Clover can only do dat if she stretches up on her hind-wegs on tippy-toe.

So when Clover gave dat hop, Beebe was off wike a rockit.

An "YO!" was wike aboud half ob whut he yelled onna way up. Da rest don't translate outta Lagomorphin. Anna good fing, too.

So afta awhile, dere bottom comed back an it had no smell at all.

So heer's my rant:

Bunnies go to a wotta trubble markin out dere terrytorry an makin it dere own. So howcome issit dat we are not 'loud to keep fings in our homes da way dat we want dem?

I mean, heer we are inna Noo Bun Room. We gots noo apawtmints, clean bottoms, clean pootie pans, clean crocks, clean wadder - clean ebberyfing - an we hab to stawt ALL OBER AGAIN, geddin fings back to da way we want'em. An whut happins nextest? Maman, Dadda an Mr Broom will be back. It's happined bifore an it will happin again.

How on Earf can you tell dat sumfing is yours if it don't smell wike you? I mean, dis has gotta stop. Clean is a good fing, I realise, but dis is goin' ober da top.


------- by George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:41 AM EDT
Monday, 4 April 2005
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: DikShunAiry (Continued)
Topic: Da Lore
Well, I hadda take a widdle break so I culd habba tawk wiffa udder bunnies inna Warren. I wanted to collect more werds an to make shure dat I habben't missed out on enny werds frumma beginin. Dis makin a DikShunAiry issa LOT harder den I thought it wuld be! Who knew dat we bunnies had so menny werds dat are unique toda Inkwish Language?

So ennyways, heer we go wif more werds...

identeefykayshun = recognizin who you are
impawtant = speshul, signiffygant, notable
inbenchon = a great idea sumbun thought up an made real.
indiggity = Belinda Bunny coined dis werd a long time ago. It means wiffoud dignity, not dignified.
Inkwish = comin frum Inkwand, which is pawt obba United Kingdom.
Inkwish Spot = a beyootiful kind of bunny, white wif black spots (or sumtimes, all black!) dat hassa LOT ob personality! Belinda Bunny wassa Inkwish Spot bunny an she hadda lotta 'pinions an commints to make aboud life an libbin assa Urban Rabbit.
inna = dis issa hard werd to describe, so I will use it inna sentance. Hey! Wook at dat! I just did!
innerestin = holds your 'tenshun
innu = opposit ob "out frum"
innypendant -ce = freedom
ishoo = topics ob discusshion.
issa = dis issa'nudder werd wike "inna". Try readin' da sentance out loud an you'll prob'ly geddit.
JUST-IN-CAD = Our Dadda's consultancy biznezz
justyfikayshun = habbin rite on your side
kitchin = berry impawtant room inna houz cos it's where da Big White Box wiffa food in is kept.
Lagomorph = correct genus for rabbits. We are NOT rodents! We are Lagomorphs!
leckted = when ebberybunny votes for you, you get 'leckted to a position.
lecktrick = power inna wall
lektrickal = sumfing dat werks by lektricks
liddle = small
lop = ears dat hang down
loppy = habbin lop or hangy-downy ears
lub -bly -bable/ -ing = care for da most inna whole werld an beyond.
luminiuminuminum = tin foil onna roll
Mawmie = sumbun who takes care ob you and teaches you to grow up an be 'Tellygint. I nebber hadda mawmie. I culdn't find her, ebben though I tried an tried. But I had Belinda Bunny who teached me, an Maman takes care ob me, an Missy-Bun is my lubly wife-bun.
mebbe = well, it could happin
menny = lots
mergency = urgent, inna hurry
miniLop = medium-size bunny wif short hangy-downy ears. "mini" doesn't mean datta bunny is small, just dat dey hab smaller ears.
missul = somefing you can fire off
mite = den again, it culd not happin, eidder
moor = not less
munny = papers dat hoomins exchange wif each udder to get fings we need. Hoomins fink it is berry impawtant. We don't.
nanners = long, yellow froot, berry tasty insides, wiffa nasty peel outsides.
nebber = not in dis lifetime.
nebbermind = don't werry abouddit.
nodis = seen sumfing forda furst time
nudder = not dis one but one ober dere
nummy = good to eat
ob = a partysipple meaning "frum" or "related to"
obba = ushually found wiffa werd "onna" (see below)
ober = go on top of, point in anudder direkshun; not heer, but ober dere.
odder = used in place ob udder
onna = ushually goes in frunt ob odder werds wike "account" so we can hab werds wike "onna'count obba fackt dat..."
OnAlone = Dis issa werd made up by Hunny. Bein' OnAlone issa werst fing dat can happin to a bunny. It means dat you are not pawt obba warren. Dere is nobunny whom you love, an nobunny to lub you; nobunny to care for you, an you don't care about ennybunny. Nobunny ebber wants to be OnAlone, not ebber. Dis is why ebberybunny who comes to Our Warren is nebber again OnAlone, but becomes pawt ob Our Warren.
onliest = all by itself, OnAlone; can also mean "unique" and/or special, too.
paw = your foot
pawtee = a sellybrashun wif good food, dancin', games an more good food
pinions = your own ideas
possytib = absolutly 100% shure
pra'ps = mebbe
pubwick = in society, not private
puter = machine that runs on lecktricks that we type on to communnykate wif each udder. Dis inbenchon has rebelooshunized rabbit society by gibbin us, who prebiously had no voice, a means ob beng heard around da werld.
pwoud = takin pride in sumfing, not ashamed
questshun = sumfing you axt (can also be spelled "qwestshun", dependin onna bunny).
questriann = hoomins ridin on horses
questin = searchin' journey

And dat's alla werds I can type for tiday. I will add da rest obb'em tomorry.

--------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:52 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 4 April 2005 1:19 PM EDT
Tuesday, 29 March 2005
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Lagomorphin to Inkwish an Back Again
Topic: Da Lore

I hab noticed that ebberyfing seems to come down to sumfing I learned frum Belinda Bunny: ComunnyKayShun.

Alla problems in Our Warren are problems in ComunnyKayShun:
1. The Collie-Dawg don't speak Cat.
2. The Catz don't speak Dawg.
3. The Catz don't speak Lagomorphin.
4. The Collie-Dawg don't speak Lagomorphin.
5. Niedder Maman or Dadda speaks Dawg, Cat or Lagomorphin, but they're tryin'.
6. The bunnies sorta speaks ebberyfing, incloodin Lagomorphin but we're not perfeckt yet.

Conseequently, nobun hassa cloo whut's bein' sed by ennybunny else around heer.

Now, Belinda stawted us all onna road to InnerSpecies ComunnyKayShun when she furst began dis Blog. It wassa Pioneerin' Effort on her pawt, because, as far as I know, she wass furst rabbit ennywheres to hab a Blog Ob Her Berry Own.

Axtchally, I fink it was Hunny who began dis effort to ComunnyKate wif udder species, an' he began it wif Our Warren, Alla Us Togedder.

Yeah, cos when Hunny wassa Young Bun, he was dribben byda need to help udders.

When Maman anna Reverend Doktor V'Ginny Sheay wanted to send a plush bunny to some sik children, Hunny hopped up onna 'puter, an figgered out howta press da keys an howta moob da mouse, an wif Maggie an Belinda, howta use da letters onna keyboard to make Inkwish werds dat sounded wike da werds hoomins use.

These bunnies developed da furst Translations frum Lagomorphin to Inkwish. An inna process, dey made a whole noo Language wif its own werds.

So I bin finkin dat dere shuld be a DikShunAiry ob Terms frum Lagomorphin to Inkwish an Back Again so dat we can all bedder unnerstand each udder.

Dis inbolbed sum research, cos I don't fink ennybunny has ebber created an OnWine DikShunAry ob Terms, aldoh I known ob anudder DikShunAry dat Exists (it issa Memebers Onwy kinda fing, an you hab to be pawta da Rebolooshunary Rabbit-friendly Gwoop, PetBunny, to hab akcess to it.), dis mite be da furst freely available DikShunAiry ob It's Kind.

So if we mess dis up, you're gonna hab to hab patience while we get it fixed up.

So Heer Goes:

Lagomorphin ... Inkwish ...
aboud = around, sort ob atta same time.
adbice = good werds frum old bunnies dat young buns need to hear.
afta = behind da furst one
aircondishywasher = fing dat goes inna winders to cool da air dat is comin' in inna hot Summertime.
Akrobatical = berry athletic an skillful
aktib = a bunny takin akshun
akshun = doin' stuff
Aktybist = an Aktib or outspoken bunny; most Inkwish Spot bunnies like Belinda.
alla = ebberybun
alotta = whole bunches ob/many
anudder = not dis one but one ober dere.
appuls = large, round, sweet, juicy treats. The dried twigs are good to chew on, too!
artykul = a partikular fing
atta = right den, dat time.
axt/-ed -ing = ask -ed -ing/as in "questshun"
becos = because
bedda = used wif "den" to compare fings.
bedded = used wif "em" to put innu bed wif sumfing else, wike a "bedded repawter" inna war.
behabe = not bein' bad; bein' good.
Bemember /-ing /-ed = callin' to mind.
berry = 1. Round, tasty froots. 2. dis exact one. 3. used as an intensyfyer to make anudder werd stronger.
bifore = not afta
binky = specialized akrobatik leap dat bunnies do.
birf = gettin' borned, comin' alibe.
buk = papers put togedder between cobbers wif typin in. You can learn frum'em or digest dem.
BUNNY = Lagomorphs (US!)
butta = slimy good stuff spread on bread.
Catz = furry four-foots obba Feline species. Can be danger'rus!, but mostly dey are stoopit an selfish. Dey come in Chowdas.
confoozled = not at all shure whut's goin' on.
cos = onna'kount ob
culd = past tense ob "can" (nodda tin type).
cubbers = fings to put ober yourself
( In Lagnomorphin, da ledder "c" makes a sound wike da ledder "k" in Inkwish. Just so you know why dere aren't more werds beginnin' wif "c".)
da = Definnytib Artykul meaning dis berry wun.
Dadda Our Hoomin buck, sorta. Finks he'ssa Top Bun, but he's rilly a fooder.
dat = not dis fing, but da udder one.
Dawg = furry four-foots obba Kaynine species dat tawk in "woofs" an "snuffles". Can be danger'rus to bunnies. Do Not Ebber be OnAlone wif dem!
deddykayshun = stayin da course wif courage.
dem = not us.
den = not now; whut happins nextest.
dere = dat way/not heer.
DikShunAiry = buk wiffa list ob werds an whut dey mean innit.
dis = da fing dat is in frunt ob you/not dat wun.
discrimmynashun = favourin' one ober anudder. You shuldn't do dis. It's not nice.
dissypline = doin fings ober an ober till you ged it rite.
dopted = happiest day ob your life, when you are no longer OnAlone, but taken innu a Warren.
downnastairs = floor below da one you are libbin' on.
enuf = whut you need ob stuff.
eny = not a specifik bunny, just enybunny.
ennyways = linking werd inna sentence.
ebbry = alla us togedder.
ebberybun = alla bunnies togedder.
feets = whut you hop on.
fing = one ob sum udders
fink /-ed /-ing = whut you do in your hed.
firteen = whut comes afta twelbe.
foots = more den one feets.
fortyget/-got/-getted = not bememberin'
free = whut comes afta two.
froot = tasty fings wif seeds; good pawt obba good diet; can be treats wike appuls, raisins or gwapes; mite hab too much shuga, but good for you ennyways.
frum = udder side ob "to"
frunt = not da back
fud = dis issa Feline werd for "food"; stuff dat catz eat. Bunnies don't use dis werd normally.
furst = at da hed obba line
gardin = 1. Where fings to eat grow 2. Makin shure nobun inbades da Warren; keepin' watch. 3. Protecktin.
ged/-got /-gotted = to hab it an hang on to it.
gonna = whut's comin'
Got'cha Day = da day when you was 'dopted.
gwapes = small, round, juicy tweats. When dees are dried, dey become raisins an still are berry good.
hab /-bin /bent = 1. holdin on to sumfing. 2. When Belinda used it in "Can't be habbin wif dis" she meant, "You bedder stop dis or you're gonna be in trubble."
haddit = can't take no more.
Hagonnasekund = waid-a-minit
happinin' = goin' on
Hay = 1. An impawtant pawt obba good diet. Bunnies shuld eat alotta hay alla time.
hed = da fing dat is holdin' up your ears.
Hey! = Oftin confoozled wif "hay"; werd yelled to ged 'tenshun.
Hokay = all rite.
Holdit! = Stop-dat-rite-now!
Howcome? = means da same as "Why?"

An dat's preddy much alla werds dat I can put inna dikshunary today.

Dis is much harder werk den I thought it wuld be. A wot longer, too.
Hokay. So. Ennyways...

I fink I'm gonna take Hunny's adbice: "Hab sum hay, an habba nap." Yeah. Good adbice cos I am one tiredly bunny!

-------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:50 PM EST
Updated: Monday, 4 April 2005 1:03 PM EDT
Saturday, 26 March 2005
The Easter Bunny NoBunny Wanted
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Da Hist'ry ob Our Warren - Willow, Part II
Topic: Da Lore

So heer issa rest obba story ob Willow, Da Easter Bunny NoBunny Wanted...

Wike I telled you yestidday, nobunny buyed Willow cos she was inna pet store, an she was sik, an she was kinda "strange" in dat she had dis, wike, blank wook aboud her, wike da lights were on, bud nobun was at home.

An she didn't know howta use da pootie-box, eidder.

It wasn't wike she wasn't cute. She was berry cute an' she was sweet-natchured an cuddly, wif her liddle grey face wiffa liddle white blaze onna nose, an her wide, sort ob vacant eyes. She ebben swayed a liddle when she sat still.

But none ob dat mattered to Maman or Phil-da-Lad, cos they just wanted to make sure dat she didn't become dinner for some snake or lizzerd atta Pet Shop.

Dat was rilly whut bothered Maman, datta Pet Shops who don't sell alla baby bunnies at Easter, feed da ones dat are left ober to snakes.

Ob course, if pet shops were to find out dat hoomins wouldn't gib dem munny for baby bunnies at Easter, den da stores wouldn't sell dem, an breeders wouldn't breed dem, an no baby bunnies would hab to die as snake food.

Imagine whut it is wike - your baby given away for snake food... put inna glass tank for a snake to notice, to chase, to kill and to eat.

Yeah. An dat is whut happens to baby bunnies dat are left ober afta Easter.

Nebber fortyged dat.

So Willow got taken home to Our Warren.

An Maman noticed dat her nose was stuffy. So she taked liddle Willow toda V-E-T's.

It is hard to find a good bunny V-E-T. Most v-e-t's know alla 'boud dogs an cats, bud know berry liddle aboud bunnies. Maman went to one v-e-t who said, "Whoo boy, I'm gonna habba ged out my textbuks for dis one! I habbin't seed a rabbit since Vet School!"

Well, Maman was outta dere wiffa bunny in one big hurry.

So she had found whut she called a "Reasonable" v-e-t who wasn't werld's greatest, but he was hokay, an dat's where she taked Willow.

So da V-E-T looked Willow ober and gabe her sum Baytril an Willow's snuffly nose cleared up.

Just long enuf for Maman to inny'duce her to Belinda.

An afta that, the sniffles came back.

So Willow was sort obba weird rabbit, berry calm an complaysint (means "gentle") but berry hungree (she eated ebberyfing dere wasta eat) an she did rilly big pooties all ober ebberywheres, axtcept inna pootie-box.

An Belinda didn't care.

But Maman did.

So Maman buyed a Pootie-sucker.

Now a Pootie-Sucker issa "masheen". It's big, has wheels, anna hose-nose (kinda wike a collie-dawg nose, but longer an more mobile) dat can suck up pooties faster den ennybunny can fire dem out. It also makes a wotta noise!

So Maman an Phil-da-Lad buyed one ob des Fings an bringed it home to Our Warren.

Hunny sed it was just aboud da werst fing he'd ebber seed. It was terribly, terriby noisy! Anna hose wuld chase you around, trying to suck pooties right outta your butt! You no sooner did one, den heer comed dat Pootie-Sucker in behind you an gobbled dem up. It was an awful fing to hab inna Warren, an ebberybun was skert obbit.

'Cept Willow.

As Belinda sed, Willow was too dumb to be skert ob ennyfing.

So one day, Phil-da-Lad was onna udder end obba Pootie-Sucker, an he was cleanin outta habbytats.

Well, Hunny, egged on by Maggie (as was ushually da case), lunged atta hose-nose onna Pootie-Sucker, an Heatherington, who wassa Dutch (an dey don't take no crap frum ennywun), boxed it an growled.

But Phil-da-Lad was preddy determined, speshully cos Maman had sed dat he was not goin ennywhere's until alla pooties was sucked, an dat wassa bottom-line.

So he moobed up to Belinda an Willow's habbytat an stawted to run da Pootie-Sucker aroun' in dere.

Well, Belinda was smawt enuf to moob right to da back ob her habbytat as soon as she seed it comin', but Willow just stood dere, watchin'.

An Belinda shouted out, "MOOB WILLOW!"

But Willow just blinked an sorta swayed back an forth on her feets.

So Belinda hollared again, "WILLOW! MOOB!"

An Willow just sat dere.

An Phil-da-Lad, who was oppyratin da Pootie-Sucker, said, "Willow, moob it!"

So Willow sat down, blinked an stretched out her neck towards Phil-da-Lad, wif her widdle nose goin' wike she wanted a pet, an bifore he knew whut was happinin, Willow....sniffed....da.....end....obbba... Pootie-Sucker!


You hab nebber seen ennyfing wike it!

Phil rite away starts screamin for Maman, cossa Pootie-Sucker is makin a whole new noise now that it's nose is clogged up wif Willow's nose stuck inside it. An Willow's eyes are buggin' out, an Phil's hollarin for Maman cos he can't get Willow unstuck an she's startin to deflate wike a shaggy balloon inna high-pressure chamber.

An doesn't Belinda just come boundin' up, all hextcited, cos dis is her bondmate that's doin da hextplodin, just as Maman comes flyin innu da kitchin where da buns had dere habbytats. An den it was preddy much a freeway struggle, wif Maman yellin an Phil yellin an Willow's eye gettin buggier and buggier an her geddin thinner an thinner while da Pootie-Sucker is whinin high.

So Maman finally hits da "Off" switch, anna Pootie-Sucker winds down.

An dere is silence.

Willow's nose falls outta da end obba Pootie-Sucker's hose an her eyes go back innu dere sockets.

An she takes a deep breath.

Suddenly her eyes get wide again.

It's a miracle! Forda furst time in her widdle life, Willow can breathe!

Belinda comes ober to Willow to see if she's allrite, an Willow snuffles her. An Belinda is, like, "Whutssamatta wif you?"

An Willow is wike, "I can smell you."

An Belinda is wike, "No joke. I been smellin you."

Den Willow lifts her nose innu da air an says, "I can smell Maman, an I can smell Phil-da-Lad! I can smell Maggie! An Hunny!"

An Belinda says, "Dat's nuffin, we can ALL smell Hunny. Frumma'boutta mile off."

An Hunny checks his butt an says, "Can not!"

But Willow goes on wike nobunny sed ennyfing, an s'claims, "An I can smell Heatherington, too!"

An Belinda snorts an says, "Anudder no-brainer."

Well, by dis time, Phil-da-Lad has taken da Pootie-Sucker apart, an sure enuf, rite inside da bag dere issa great, big, long string ob snot. An he shows it to Maman (it's a berry Phil-thing to do).

An Maman wooks at da snot-ball, an den wooks at Willow an shudders.

"No wonder she's snuffling ebberyfing," Says Maman. "Probably smelling things for the first time in her life!"

An so Willow wandered around forda rest obba day, snufflin ebberyfing an hextclaimin' ober all obbit, cos she had nebber smelled smells, an nebber realised datta werld hadda whole udder dimenshion.

An Maman stopped usin' da Pootie-Sucker so much afta dat, an went back to Mr Broom an Ms Mop. Cos sumtimes "Progress" issn't all it's cracked up to be, she says.

An Willow, who wassa Easter Bunny NoBunny Wanted, turned out to be very wanted at Our Warren, an libbed inna Warren for wong time, wif Belinda.

Which, as Hunny says, is rilly sumfing, when you consider to whom she was bonded.

An dat's summa da story ob Willow of Our Warren.

---------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 1:03 PM EST
Friday, 25 March 2005
The Easter Bunny NoBunny Wanted
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Da His'try ob Our Warren
Topic: Da Lore

When I furst came to Our Warren, I was small. I didn't know berry much (mainly onna'count ob arrivin' inna box frumma v-e-t's). An I hadda lotta energy, so I didn't wanna sleep much.

An Hunny was old, an he didn't sleep much, eidder.

So he wuld talk to me, an tell me whut he called "Da Lore".

"Da Lore" issa story aboud the Beginnings ob Our Warren. It issa His'try.

So I'm gonna tell summa it to you.

Back inna Beginnin', at Easter-time, dere was just Hunny an his bondmate Maggie, Heather an Belinda inna Warren. In fackt, Belinda had just come to Our Warren frum Ms Laura Warner's South Jersey Rabbit Rescue. Maman an Phil-da-Lad had gone down to ged Belinda to be a bondmate for Heather, 'cept dat when dey got back to da house, Heather decided dat he didn't need to be bossed around by an Inkwish Spot, an so Belinda was libbin by herself.

So dere was Hunny, a miniLop, who was bonded to Maggie who wassa Standard Rex. An den dere was Heatherington Rabbitm who wassa Dutchie boy, an Belinda who wassa Inkwish Spot who was each in dere own habbytat. An dere was Maman an Phil-da-Lad

An dat was Our Warren.


Maman an Phil hadda Pellet 'Mergency (which means they were outta pellets). So they stopped by a pet store where they didn't ushally go, anna store had baby bunnies for sale.

There were four widdle bunnies, alla dem liddle loppy bunnies. But dere was one, dat wassa widdle bigger den da udders, one sittin' a liddle ways off by itself.

So Maman knew right off dat it was dif'frunt. An Maman allus is sort ob drawn to dose bunnies dat are dif'frunt.

So da liddle grey an white loppy-eared bunny was dere inna cage by herelf. An she sat berry quiet an still.

Bud Maman an Phil-the-Lad alreddy had four bunnies an didn't know how dey culd afford to feed an extry mouf.

But wike Maman says, "If God sends us an extry mouf, He will send us a way to feed it."

An Maman sed to the owner obba store, "Let me know if dat grey an' white bunny gets sold." An she gibbed him some brooshures frumma House Rabbit Society to gib to ennyone who buyed a bunny, so at least dey would know a widdle bit aboud habbin' an Indoor Urban Rabbit.

So Easter came an went, an da udder bunnies found homes wif udder hoomins, an alla brooshures were handed out, but no hoomins wanted to take da widdle grey and white loppy bunny home wif dem.

Maman an Phil-da-Lad camed innu da pet store ebbery week, an still da grey an' white loppy bunny was dere. So Maman went innu where da bunny was an piked da bunny up an cuddled her. Anna widdle bunny was so sad, dat she cuddled up to Maman an sighed.

So da store manager came up to Maman an sed,

"No one seems to want this rabbit. There's something the matter with her. I don't think she's quite all right."

An Maman looked at him, an arched one eyebrow at him wike she does when she's aboud to get 'noyed, an sed,

"I beg your pardon?"

Anna Manager sed, "Well, I think she's dumb or something. She won't use a litterbox, she won't even pick one corner of her cage to go in. She just goes anywhere."

An Maman sed, "It because she's not in a home setting."

Den da Manager sed, "I can't keep her."

An Maman anna Manager stared at each udder. An finally Maman sed,

"How much?"

Anna Manager began wif whut Maman calls "A Story". He started at some figger Maman wassn't gonna accept an went down till he arrived atta figger dey bof could "Lib Wif".

So Maman an Phil-da-Lad brought da liddle grey an shite loppy girl home to Our Warren.

An dey named her "Willow", onna'count ob she was so gentle an sweet.

An Maman taked da widdle bunny toda V-E-T for a well-bunny check-up, anna widdle bunny was sik. She hadda pneumonia an hadda take two weeks ob Baytril.

So when dat was ober, Maman decided dat mebber Willow would like to lib wif Belinda.

So Maman, who didn't know a fing aboud bonding bunnies, (cos Maggie an Hunny had bonded demselbes) just decided she wuld leeb da doors to their habbytats opin an she an Phil-da-Lad wuld stand by in case ob 'Mergencies.

So Maman opined da doors. Phil-da-Lad hadda dust-pan anna wisk-broom an oven mitts. Maman piked uppa towel.

Belinda came snufflin' forward an den stopped just bifore she crossed innu Willow's habbytat. She wooked at Willow an Willow wooked at her. Den Belinda came innu Willow's habbytat an wooked at alla Willow's stuff, an ate summa Willow's food. An Willow just wooked. So Belinda walked up to Willow an licked her nose.

Willow blinked, an shifted back an forth on her feets, an then sat down.

Den Belinda wooked at Maman standin' dere wiffa towel, an at Phil-da-Lad wif his oven-mits an dust-pan an wisk-broom, an she shook her hed.

An she moobed innu Willow's habbytat an dat was preddy much dat.

Willow was a member ob Our Warren.

An den came Phil-da-Lad anna pootie-sucker, an Willow got her nose caught an all da drama - but dat's for tomorrow...

-------By George

Posted by Our Warren at 9:06 PM EST
Thursday, 24 March 2005
Whoa! I'm Late!
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Not right....
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

You know we hadda moob house an how we're all heer, tryin to gedda noo warren goin' inna noo houz?

Well, it isn't goin' so good.

Da Dawg is still herdin' catz anna Catz is still protestin to Dadda alla time an Maman still just don't ged it.

Of course, we all gots noo apawtmints, too, which has called for sertin adjustmints, too.

An on toppa alla that, there is sumfing wrong with da mechanism dat werks "Spring" cos da wedder is COLD! An DARK! An an awful lot like WINTER.

I think somefing is stuck somewheres.

Dadda says his knees are stuck.

Dadda also says that da Dawg is stuck on 'noyance, as areda Catz.

Well, da way I figger it, da Catz hab allus been stuck on 'noyance.

Dey know dey are not 'lowed inna Bun Room, but they manage to sneak in, don't they? Just as soon as Maman opins da gate acrosst our doorway, dey appears just by magic an slinks in rite behind her. Anna fing is, dey know dey aren't 'lowed in, cos as soon as Maman says dere name, dey scoot rite out, but ebben doh dey know, dey still sneaks.

Ob course, when dey are sneakin, da Dawg is sneakin' rite behind dem - only at his size, he don't sneak too good. Cos he is sneakin' cos dey are sneakin' and he's sneakin' so he can keep an eye on dem an repawt dem to Maman just in case she don't see dem. But she does, cos it's rilly hard to miss forty pounds of cat whedder it's sneakin or not.

Den Maman yells atta dawg, too - an den we hab dis log-jam inna doorway: one dawg that is tryin' to back up wiffoud taking his eyes offa cat, an one cat tryin to go forward wiffoud runnin innu da dawg and one Maman tryin to ged to her coffee fru alla mess ob cats anna dawg.


Well, you kin see how complykated life is gettin' aroun heer.

An on top ob ebberyfing else, it's cold and damp an Dadda says that the garden is squidgy. Dis means that when the dawg comes in frum outside, his paws are all muddy and he leebs tracks on Maman's clean floor. So Dadda makes him stop and den Dadda wipes da Dawg-feets with a towel, which gets all muddy an hasta go innu da washing machine, which makes laundry.

Maman wants to know which is worser - habbin to mop da floor or habbin to do alla laundry frumma dawg.

And then she moobed Missy an my pootie box. Well dat wassn't nice. I liked where it was bifore, I think, although I was sort of peeing there ober the side atta dawg oncet inna while. An' I s'spose that I did manage to hit the floor now an then. But now that she's put a pootie-box there, well, I hab bin aimin' ober the side more oftin.

An' Maman sed my aim is bad.

Well, it's her fault cos she shouldn't be moobin pootie boxes.

Missy has added pooties to my puddle onna floor. An Maman don't like dat, eidder.

So I told her aboudda pootie-box by draggin it innu da middle obba apawtmint, but she didn't ged the idea an moobed it back innu dat corner where I don't wanna hab it.

I figger it's Missy an my apawtmint, so we can habba pootie-box where we want. Maman has two pootie-boxes in heer, so I fink we can moob at least one obb'em.

An now da grapes we was geddin are gone. Da Dawg had summa dem, an Dadda had sum and now they are gone.

We're back to raisins.

The good news issat they are the BIG raisins inna red box an not the cheap widdle ones wiffa store name on.

Mebbe we will ged appuls, cos I can see dem still inna Big White Box when Maman opins it.

So we're still all messed up heer, wif Catz anna dawg an alla stuff goin' on. It was nebber wike dis when Hunny was Top Bun. An it wassn't wike dis when Belinda was in charge, eidder. I must be doin' sumfing wrong.

Hunny sed dat when I am not sure aboud fings, I should hab sum hay an habba nap an fink. So I shall. He was rite aboud most fings... chances are, he's rite about dis.

I'll let'cha know...

-------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 7:32 PM EST
Wednesday, 23 March 2005
Confessions of an Easter Bunny
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Don't Give Bunnies For Easter
Topic: The Next Generation

Hullo. My name is George and I amma Easter Bunny.

That's right. I came innu this werld assa Easter Bunny - an ancient symbol of Spring, ob new life, of regeneration, of rebirth an' Hope Inna Future.

At least, that's whut Maman says. She knows aboud these things, about hist'ry an berry old stuff dat nobunny else seems to care aboud. She says Easter is alla'boud rebirth an Hope Inna Future, but that most hoomins hab fortygotten whut Easter rilly is an' make believe dat it is aboud candy an coloured eggs an buyin bunnies inna pet store.

An' den she gets sad an says, "George, you usta be an Easter Bunny."

But I rilly don't bemember much aboud being an Easter Bunny, 'cept dat it was no fun. Bein' an Easter Bunny had nuffin to do wif candy, an nuffin to do wif gettin' borned, an nuffin to do wif' habbin enny kind ob Hope at all.

Here is whut I bemeber aboud bein' da Easter Bunny:
I was berry small.
I got picked uppa'lot.
I was squeezed.
I got fed lettuce.
It made my tummy hurt.
I libbed in a small cage wif some food an wadder. An' ebberybunny seemed to wike me at furst, but preddy soon, dey fortygot aboud me. I guess da "Noo" wore off. Or mebbe I wasn't cute ennymore. Or mebbe I was just inna way.

Cos, you see, I dunno why nobunny wanted me. I wassa Easter Bunny, wasn't I? You know, da Peter Cottontail, Hoppin Down Da Bunny Trail!

Yeah, dere is ebben a song written aboud Easter Bunnies like me. You hear dat song played a lot rite around now.

And it's kinda hard to unnerstand how you can be all lubbed an' wanted one day an then shoved innu a small cage an' become a "chore" the next. I mean, I can't help bein' alive an havin to eat an habbin to go sit inna pootie-box now an' then an all. That's whut bunnies do. An' I can't help it if when all I have issa small cage, all I do is sit. There's not much room for ennyfing else, is there?

So howecome I got shoved innu a box an then left atta V-E-T's office?

Issat whut happins toda Easter Bunny?

Cos dat's whut happined to me.


Sumbun putted me innu a box an dribed me inna car toda V-E-T's office. Dey put me down an den left.

An' dere I was. All by myself.

An' I was three months old.


Now, OnAlone is the most Awfullest Thing that can happin to a bunny. Bunnies are susposed to lib in Warrens wiffa wotta udder bunnies. If you're a bunny, you get borned, an you habba Mawmie, an you learn frumma udder bunnies an get 'Tellygint, an grow up to be a Top Bun. An' den you hab kits ob your own dat you teach to be 'Tellygint along wif alla udder kits, so dat you love, an' are loved in return.

But bein' OnAlone means dat nobunny loves an cares for you an you don't love or care for nobunny. You have no Warren to be in. You are not part ob sumfing bigger, you don't belong and you are sad an sorrowful an skert.

I know, becos I was OnAlone. An I was sad, an sorrowful an skert all by myself inna box inna V-E-T's office while my furst people drived away.

An' whut were dey finkin', leebin me dere? Dat da V-E-T wanted me? He didn't. He didn't want an extry rabbit. He issa doctor to care for sik bunnies, dawgs an ebben catz an make dem well again. He doesn't need to hab an extry well-bunny to feed.

I guess does furst people wanted me dead. Cos dat happins a lot at V-E-T's. Cos dere is no room for extry bunnies. No Warrens to take us in, no places for us to sleep, no udder bunnies to teach us, no critters to welcome us.

An' so we are sent off toda Rainbow Bridge by ourselves, to find our way inna darkness. Mebbe you don't see it, but afta ebbery Easter, dere is a crowd of berry liddle bunnies, all skert an' alone, wiffoud Mawmies, all OnAlone, an dey are runnin, an hidin' an wide-eyed an' terryfied - poor widdle lost souls dashing through the cold an' nighttime, not knowing where they are fleeing to unable to turn back and afraid to go forward. Behind dem is Terror, ahead lies Fear an so dey run for dere lives.

An' ahead ob them issa Bridge an' it is high an white shining against the darkness obba sky, like a thin strand of moonlight stretched across black velvet. An skert as they are, the tiny bunnies run toward it, becos it is the onliest place to run.

You can't know whut it's like. You can't imagine it, but I can. It is the nightmare born in every liddle bunny's waking dream as soon as a breeder-person takes us frum our Mawmies. We are OnAlone just as the Werld comes innu focus, an OnAlone inna pet stores winders, an OnAlone in tiny cages, OnAlone as some starve to death, or are hurted to death, or who are let go inna wilderness obba city park wif predators wiffa nightmares obba silver moonlight Bridge stretched acrosst da Void anna cries ob tiny bunies ringing in our ears.

An' I had those nightmares, too, until I managed to get heer. When I finally got heer, I met Hunny, an Poet, an 'speshully Belinda, an they all told me dat da Bridge is notta nightmare, dat onna udderside ob it there issa Meadow wif alla bunnies who hab ebber libbed, all playin' inna sun. An' Hunny sed dat The Bridge issa place where old buns go to feel young, an' where sik buns go to get well.

But if I hadn't been rescued, you see, I nebber would have knowed dis. I nebber wuld hab had enny teachers, nebber wuld hab had friends an rewayshuns, an no Maman or Dadda. I wuld nebber hab learned dat da Bridge wassa good place, an dat it is pawt obba Cyrkil ob Life, an dat I don't hab to be afraid ebber again.

Becos I was rescued.

Maman came an took me away inna box an brought me to Our Warren, where I'm notta Easter Bunny enny more. I am George, George ob Our Warren.

So, you see, dere shuld be no more Easter Bunnies wike me. No bunnies shuld be sold as "presents". Dere are udder fings dat make presents at Easter Time, an' heer issa pickhure ob my friend, Clementine (he libs in Texas) wif some ob the GOODgifts to gib at Easter.

So, go ahead an gib candy for Easter, an gib sombun a plush, stuffed bunny toy for Easter, but please, please, please don't buy a living bunny as a toy.

We are not toys.
We are like you -
Living, breathing Memebers of God's Great Warren,
Alla Us Togedder, NoBunny OnAlone.

------ By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:41 AM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 23 March 2005 11:52 AM EST
Tuesday, 22 March 2005
Dawg Houz Roolz
Mood:  surprised
Now Playing: Da Fairy Wog-Dawg, Fat-Cat an Me, George
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Da Dwag has Roolz.

Does he ebber!

An' we're not tawkin' just a few gen'ral commints on behaviour heer, lemme tell you. We're tawkin' a whole, entire Buk ob Roolz that he has written all by himself, wiffoud enny help frum ennybunny.

Who knew?

An what's more, he ekpects dat ebberybunny inna whole houz is gonna lib by his Roolz, too, since we are all part ob his Pack.

So he finks.


Alla Us Togedder inna Warren were treated to an all-out demmystrashun aboudda Dawg's Roolz fing wast nite.

Dadda happened to go out toda Lodge. Now Lodge issa berry big fing in dis houz, going back for hunnerts ob years inna family. Maman says she is her Father's Daughter an if ennybunny believes Dan Brown's fikshunal stories, they are dumb - an' she can proob it - cos she is whut he issn't, which issa trained 'storian.

Mind you, da Dawg has been trained, too, bud I don't know in whut.

So ennyway, Dadda went to Lodge an Maman stayed home.

Now just as Dadda was leebin, he sed toda Border Collie Dawg, "Be a good Fairy Wog-Dawg an take care ob Maman anna houz. Guard, Marc. Guard."

(Fairy Wog-Dwag is Dadda's name forda Border Collie. No one knows why, least ob all da Border Collie who notta deep finker.)

An Dadda left.

Well, da Fairy Wog-Dawg says Dadda is da Alpha Male obba Pack, an he (Fairy Wog-Dawg) issa Sekondary Male, which makes him in charge whenna Alpha Male is absent, an this is speshully troo if da Alpha Male (which is Dadda) gibs him (which is da Fairy Wog-Dawg) da command, "Guard".

So when Dadda says "Guard" toda Fairy Wog-Dawg, it means datta Dawg is in charge ob ebberyfing.

So he finks.

So Maman was inna Sittin' Room, sittin' wif her buk.

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawn goes in an sits wif her.

An just aboud den, da Fat-Cat waddles downnastairs to see whut's happinin', cos he herd da frunt door slam an da car stawt an nobunny had told him nuffin aboud it.

An just as da Fat-Cat got fru da Libbin Room an innu da Dinin' Room, da Fairy Wog-Dawg gets up frumma Sittin Room an shoots downnahall to stop da Fat-Cat frum goin' enny furder.

Anna Dawg is wike, "Hey, Cat! Stop!"

Anna Fat-Cat is wike, "Hey, Dawg! Pak it in!" an keeps on waddlin', innu da Kitchin to habba wook atta Fairy Wog-Dawg's dinner an wadder bowls.

Anna Dawg is wike, "Hey, Cat! What'cha doin'?"

Anna Cat is wike, "Wookin to see if dere is enny food weft."

Anna Dawg says, "Wook in your own bowl. Dat's da Roolz: ebberybunny has dere own bowl. Now ged outta mine."

Anna Cat wooks atta Dawg an sits down an says, "Who died an weft you in charge?"

"I amma Sekondary Male!" says da Dawg, wike it means sumpfing.

So da Cat geds up, shakes an says, "An I'm da Top Cat. So ged outta da way."

Anna Dawg is wike, "Hey, Cat! I told you to stop!", an runs around to stand between da Fat-Cat an his bowls.

Anna Fat-Cat just shrugs an goes arounna Dawg.

Soda Fairy Wog-Dawg goes arounna Fat-Cat an bumps innu da cabinets unner da sink.

An I'm watchin frumma Bun Room which is just offa Kitchin.

So Maman heers da Fairy Wog-Dawg bump innu da cabinets unner da sink, an she calls out, "Whutsamatta, Marc?"

An Marc (who issa Fairy Wog-Dawg) says, "Stay rite dere, Cat. Dat issa Alpha Female, Maman, calling. I gotta go, but I'm comin' rite back. So don't moob. Does are da Roolz."

Anna Fat-Cat is wike, "Whutebber."

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg runned fru da Dinin' Room an downnahall to da Sittin' Room where Maman was still sittin wif her buk. An I hear Maman say to da Fairy Wog-Dawg:

"Marc, sit. Stay."

And dere issa *thump* assa Fairy Wog-Dawg sits down inna Sittin' Room. Cos Maman's da Alpha Female inna Wog-Dawg's Pack an he hasta do whut she tells him.

Soda Fat-Cat waddles acrosst da floor an climbs innu da pootie-box.

An frum da Sittin' Room, I hear da Fairy Wog-Dawg call out, "Hey, Cat! I thought I told you not to moob!"

Anna Fat-Cat don't answer, cos he is busy diggin aroun inna pootie-box, hoikin' fings out dat he finds in dere and flingin' dem on to da floor.

So I lean out an axt him, "Whut'cha doin, Cat?"

Anna Cat says, "Cleanin da pootie box. Cos it seems dat da Stoopit Cat finks she can use dis box an it's MY box. HER box is uppastairs inna udder Bafroom, an dis wun is MINE." Den he grins at me an adds, "It's da Roolz."

An I hear da Wog-Dawg yell frumma Sittin' Room, "I said 'Don't moob, Cat!'"

An da Fat-Cat turns his back on me an mumbles, "'Scuse me, but I gotta go."

An I'm wike, "Whatebber, Guy. But I know you been eatin' dat wet food stuff Dadda gabe you, so try to stay downwind ob us, hokay?" Cossa Fat-Cat can rilly stink uppa-place if da Hot-Air-Heater is blowin when he uses his litter-box.

Den alla sudden, I hear toenails, anna Fair Wog-Dawg comes shootin fru da Dinin Room an arounda corner obba Kitchin, hed down, legs crossin, eyes intent.

An alla bigger sudden, he's inna Fat-Cat's face.

"I told you not to moob!"

An da Cat is atta deli-kate pawt obba pootie-box manoovers, an he can't moob. So he's sittin' dere, in his pootie-box, hunched up, eyes crossed, an paws togedder, an he gasps atta Dawg,


Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg is bouncin up-an-down anna'long-side da Fat-Cat's pootie box, yellin', "I told you not to moob an you moobed! It's against the Roolz obba Pack for you to moob! An' you're goin' pottie inna houz! Not allowed! Against da Roolz! Against da Roolz! You're not houzbroken!"

Anna Fat-Cat is wike, "WILL you ged outta heer? *geez* Now I know how Dadda feels when he's inna bafroom wif you."

Anna Dawg is bouncin' up-an-down, an he's rilly goin' now, makin' peepin' noises.

"You're not houzbroken! You're doin' IT inna houz! Whutsamatter wif you? You're 'sposed to go Outside like a normal dawg!"

Anna Fat-Cat is wike, "I ain't no stoopit Dawg, you dumb Dawg!"

An he leans ober da side obba pootie-box an takes a swipe atta Fairy Wog-Dawg.

But he misses.

Cos he's still inna middle obba deli-kate pawt obba pootie-box manoovers, you see.

An suddenly, Mouse, who is nearer to da Fat-Cat's pootie-box place den I am, turns his back onna Fat-Cat, hunches up an says:

"Phaww. You stink, Cat."

Anna Fat-Cat, who isn't feelin too charmin atta momint, looks up at Mouse an snaps, "You ain't no rose yourself, you widdle hay-chompin' gas-bag."

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg starts peepin' louder an bouncin' more an more nextest to da Fat-Cat's pootie-box.

"You can't talk toda Rabbits! Not on my watch, Cat!"

Anna Cat glares an gibs one big effort (cos he's all full of annoyed now an preddy much outta da udder stuff) an stawts to paw atta cabinet.

An da Fairy Wog-Dawg just aboud goes nuts.

"NO TOUCHING MY COOKIE-CABINET! God knows where your paws have been!"

An just den, I hear Maman inna Sittin' Room, an she's not best pleased:

"That does it! Do I hafta come out there? Whut's goin' on?"

Anna Dawg is so upset now dat he barks.

An heer comes Maman, in her bafrobe, wif her hair all ober an her finger in her buk. An she does not wook happy.

So she wooks atta Fairy Wog-Dawg. He wags his tail.
She wooks atta Fat-Cat in his pootie-box. He stops pawin' da cabinet an wooks back at her.
An she wooks innu da Bun Room, an dere is Mouse gibbin da Cat da Royal Bunny Butt, an me hanging half-way outta my apawtmint wif my ears all forwards.

An Maman says, "Allrite, whut's goin' on out heer?"

So da Fairy Wog-Dawg starts bouncin again.

"Da Fat-Cat is breakin' alla Roolz! He moobed when I told him to sit still, an I'm the sub-alpha Male Dadda left on-Guard by Dadda! Den he didn't axt to go outside wike a good dawg, an hadda "accident" in dat box dere! An den he took a swipe at me as I am doin' my job ob Guardin! An he tawked toda Rabbits, insulted dem! Den he pawed at MY Cookie Cabinet, wike it was his! An he stinked uppa Bunny Room! All ob it, against alla Roolz!"

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg sat down on Maman's left side, an lifted his hed an tried to wook all noble.

But Maman wooked puzzled. "Does Mommy's good boy hafta go outside?"

Anna Dawg wooks up at her an says, "Whut?"

An Maman pats him onna hed an says, "Does a good puppy hafta go outside?"

An dere's dis silence dat settles ober da kitchen - like the kind of silence dat follows when alla lights go out, just bifore alla scweaming stawts.

So, I look ober at Mouse an see dat his shoulders are shakin. An den I wook atta Fat-Cat, an he's got these wide, innycent eyes on, but you can tell, he's laffin' onna inside wiffoud lettin it show too much onna outside.

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg sorta whimpers an sinks down innu a puddle ob fur onna floor nextest to Maman.

An Maman walks past Cokie-da-Fat-Cat in his pootie-box, slides opin da Gate to da Bun Room an opins uppa Back Door. Den she calls da Fairy Wog-Dawg again:

"Come on, Good Boy, let's go outside!"

Anna Fiary Wog-Dawg, who can't refuse an Order frumma Alpha Female, no madder how stoopit it is, slinks past her an stands onna Back Steps and stands wookin' back ober his shoulder at her.

An frumma doorway, Maman says, "Go on, Markie, Mamma will wait right here for you."

Anna Fairy Wog-Dawg gibs a big sigh an trots down offa steps innu da Back Garden.

Den Maman gibs us each wunna da Gwapes dat she has inna Big White Box, an gibs da Fat-Cat wunna does Cat-treat-fings cos he's wookin all hopeful. Den she wets da Fairy Wog-Dawg back innu da houz an gibs him a cookie frum his cabinet behind da Cat's litter-box.

Anna Fat-Cat waddles off on his way fru da Dinin Room, an downnahall innu da Sittin Room where Maman has gone. Den da Dawg goes afta him, an I heer Maman again:

"No, Cokie. Cokie, ged offa buk. Cokie, down. Geddown. Get offa me, you fat lummox! No Marc, no. Leave the cat alone. Marc...Stoppit! Cokie - NO! Keep those paws to yourself! Marc, leave the cat a...Cokie, don't you dare bat at the dog...stoppit, you two...stoppit..."

An I'm finkin' how great it is to be a Rabbit...

-------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 9:28 AM EST
Monday, 21 March 2005
Mobile Homes
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Lookin' Up
Topic: The Next Generation

I fortygotted to tell aboudda new apawtmints we got.

Bemember dat we hadda Habbytats dat Dadda an Phil-da-Lad made for us bifore Phil-da-Lad signed up for da Naby?

Nedder do I.

When I came heer from da V-E-T's office where I was dumped afta Easter last year, da Habbytats was alreaddy inna Bun Room an Phil-da-Lad was just alreaddy finishin' up bein inna da Naby. I amma Noo Kid Onna Block as Belinda was allus tellin' me, an I didn't know ennyfing aboudda homes that weren't Habbytats.

Hokay, so lemme tell you aboudda Habbytats. Ready?

When Dadda comed frum Inkwand to marry Maman an lib wif Alla Us Togedder inna Warren, he an Phil-da-Lad hadda look atta Warren an decided that everybun needed noo places to lib. So Dadda, bein' an Engine-ear talked wif Hawthorn (who was bondmate to Belinda anna berry forward-thinking rabbit) aboud whut kinda place alla bunnies wuld like to live.

Furst they decided that there wuld be NO CAGES. Ebber.

Then they decided that whut bunnies rilly wanted wasta be pawt obba family, watch TeeBee, hab a room ob dere own, an to hab quarters dat was easy for Maman to clean where she didn't hab to bend ober alla time.

So, all werkin togedder, dey drawed plans for a noo type ob bunny home, called "Hawthorn's Homes", an put uppa web-site. Den Dadda an Phil-da-Lad got busy an built some ob dees homes for Our Warren.

Ob course Belinda an Hawthorn gotta biggest one. Dat's cos Belinda wassa Top Bun an a Inkwish Spot. You allus do whutta Inkwish Spot says. Belinda sed it's inna Roolz sumwhere but she wasn't sure where - not that it matters. Wif Belinda, it was better to just agree, wike Hawthorn did, an he was a berry forward-thinking rabbit.

So ennyway, Da Habbytats were like BIG-big pens for bunnies. They had hard floors we could walk on, an dey had white fences alla'round, wif nice pootie-boxes, toys, crocks dat screwed on through the fences for wadder an food an nice hay-bins. Maman culd stand up inn'em to sweep us out wif Mr Broom, an ebbery week, she culd wash our floors wif Mr Mop. So we stayed nice an clean an' had wots ob room for extersize an sleepin' an ebberyfing. An ebbery nite, Belinda came to tuck us all in.

An ebberyfing was fine.

'Til I came along.

Maman sed dat nobunny had chewed onna habbytats til me.

An I sed dat I only wanted to go see Missy an dat's why I was Makin' A Hole - which I thought was a preddy good idea atta time.

An' Missy thought so, too.

But Maman, didn't think so, specially when we moobed innu da Noo Houz an stawted Makin' A Hole just cos we culd.

So Maman an Dadda went toda Robert's Shop where dey buy us food an hay an dey saw these noo Rabbitats. So dey ordered 3 obb'em - one for Mr Mouse, an two bigger ones, one for Clover an Beebe-Bunny!! an' one for Missy 'n' me.

Well, the Rabbitats arrived an weren't dey just sumfing else?

In my whole life, I hab nebber bin as tall assa dawg. Nebber.
But you put me in da Noo Rabbitat Apawtmint an I'm on eye-lebbel wiffa bugger.

Yup, no more dealin' wif catz or dawgs frum "one fut offa ground" as Belinda usta say. I'm goin eye-to-eye, an toe-to-toe wiff'em now. Dat big, ol' nose come innu da apawtmint an I can snuffle it rite back. I ebben licked it!

Wanna see a s'sprised dawg? See one that's had it's nose licked by a bun.

Wanna see a ebben more s'sprised dawg? See one that's taken a direct pee frum Mouse.

Wanna see a cat make a run for it? Watch one hafta stand on it's back paws to gedda wook-in atta bun wiffa attytude on, like Beebe. Yup, I nebber seed a cat moob so fast!

Yeah, we're tuffer now dat we is taller.

An we're geddin more treats, too.

Cos wif bein' taller, we is more onna eye-to-eye lebbel wif Dadda when he's inna Big White Box wookin' for fings to eat. He bends ober an' dere we are - five pairs ob eyes wif one thought: "Feed us. We are cute."

Mind control is a great thing.

An these noo apwatmints are on wheels. Dis means dat Maman can wheel Mr Mouse into da Sittin' Room to sit an watch "Lawn Order" when he hears da song for it an stawts throwin' toys. An' habbin wheels means dat we can be moobed aroun' inna Bun Room, an ebben moobed out onto the Screen Porch on rilly nice days.

Missy an me can be rolled innu a sunbeam for a snooze wifoud moobin a paw!

Anna pootie-pans are spotless, cos Maman don't habba bend ober to pick dem up. Ob course, dey are onna small side, cos big ones won't fit through the opinin', so Missy hasta back innu'em to use 'em, but, well, as she sed, it's a small sackrifice when you fink aboud how nice an clean ebberyfing stays. We only use one, though, an keep the udder one to put hay in cos Maman can't find our haybins since we moobed frumma Old Houz. Ob course, she can't find a lotta fings since we moobed, but that's Maman for you, a genuine Looker-For-Fings if dere ebber was one.

So we're makin' out preddy good dees days. We gotta noo apartmints, an we're doin' preddy well on the treat front. We gots our own speshul room wif lots ob nice windows dat's decorated wif stained-glass pickchurs ob alla bunnies who hab ebber libbed in Our Warren, an wots ob sunshine. So I still gots Hunny an Belinda watchin ober me, an helpin me to grow 'Tellygint an all.

Course we still gotta Catz, but at least we're taller den dey are, an we're da same size assa Dawg, so dere are positive fings happinin', too.

And it seems Spring rilly is sprung.

Belinda usta say, "When you are one fut offa ground, allus look up." when I wassa youngbun, an I didn't quite know whut she meant. So I axted Hunny, "Whut's 'up', ennyways?"

An Hunny chewed on sum hay for a minit an sed, "UP is where you look. So look dere."

So dat's whut I'm doin' - lookin up and geddin dere!

------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:58 AM EST
Sunday, 20 March 2005
Food of Choice
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Do a Little Dance!
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Do a widdle dance...ged a widdle anudder widdle dance...gedda'nudder widdle treat...

Do you know you can rilly, seiously upsetta dawg just by doin' dat?

Oh yeah!

You can also seriously piss offa cat da same way, lemme tell you!

Do a widdle a cute widdle George...ged a widdle anudder widdle dance...gedda'nudder widdle treat...

An do you know datta Big White Box inna room heer wif us is just FULL ob treats?

Yeah. Maman an Dadda went toda Mawket.

Dey bought a bag ob appuls.
Dey bought a bag ob gwapes.
Dey bought a tub ob raisins.
Dey bought a bag ob carrots.
Dey bought a hunnert bags ob veggies...

Well, hokay, notta hunnert but it wooks wike it.

Anna catz anna Dawg got - (oh my, dis is too good) - Dey got cans!

Now issn't dat too bad?

Anna Dawg gotta box ob Dawg cookies anna catz gotta one widdle bag ob yucky-smellin' cat-treats (onna'count obba fackt dat dey are BOF too fat!).

But as ushual, da Bunnies made out wike bandits.

Oh a widdle dance...gedda widdle treat...

Now da Dawg can't dance. He can do a wotta udder stuff, wike guard da basemint steps soda catz can't follow Dadda down dere, an' he can herd da catz outta da Bun Room; an' he can fetch a ball an' pick up dropped stuff an' gib it back an' tell who is atta door whenna bell rings, an' tell Maman datta phone is ringin' (wike she don't know? geez!) An' he can moob Maman downnastreet an stop atta crossing places, an go visitin' at places, an gib you his paw, an' sit, stay, lie down, an' alla dat Doggie Stuff, but he can't dance... he don't ged alla treats wike I do.

He gets treats for goin' out inna yard at nite an for "breakfasts" inna mornin'.

But all I gotta do is dance, dance, dance!

Anna catz, bein' catz, don't do ennyfing, cept sit aroun' an wail dat dey aren't geddin' stuff.

So dey get treats mainly to shut dem up.

An all I gotta do is Dance!


An' you'll notice who gets alla good stuff - da Bunnies.

We ebben gotta whole bale ob hay out onna porch, anna Big Bag ob pellets, inn'adishon to alla that stuff dat comes frumma mawkit inna Big White Box.

Who makes Maman laff?
Da Bunnies!
Who makes Maman smile?
Da Bunnies!
Who gets alla good stuff?
Da Bunnies!
Who issa most impawtant inna houz?
Da Bunnies! (You bedder belieb it!)

An' all we godda do is dance, dance, dance!

An I am a good dancer, too! I can cirkul left an' I can cirkul rite, an' I can stand on my tippy-toes an waggle my ears atta same time! Oh yeah!

Watch me now!

Dance, dance, dance...gedda widdle a'nudder widdle dance...gedda'nudder widdle treat...

An all Missy has gotta do issa ear-lift now an den an' she gets a widdle treat, too. Den Clover will shuffle ober an do a widdle hop-stretch-hop, an' she gets a treat! An' whenna Beeb doesn't bite, he gets a treat, an Mouse gets one just so he don't feel left out!

Do we hab a racket goin' on heer or whut?

Yeah... I enjoy bein' a...*hop-binky-slide*...BUN!

Posted by Our Warren at 1:05 PM EST
Saturday, 19 March 2005
Just Another Day In Paradise
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: We Are Family
Topic: The Next Generation
Well, it's still goin' on.

We moobed, but it's still not cleer 'zactly whut dis is ennymore.

You wuld fink dat afta habbin libbed through the Furst Generation ob Our Warren, da Dawg anna Catz wuld unnerstand alla'boud libbin wif House Bunnies. But no, ebberyfing is still all confusion an consternashun.

Da collie Dawg says we're pawt ob his Pack. You wanna seeda Dawg? Heer is his pickchur.

Da catz say we are pawt ob dere Chowder.

We bunnies say dey are Alla Us Togedder pawt ob Our Warren.

Anna Dawg says he issa Top Dawg inna Pack.
An Cokie-da-Fat-Cat says he issa Top Cat inna Chowder.

An I, George, amma Top Bun inna Warren, but dat is only if Mouse an Beeb bof agree, which is not alla time (onna count ob us habbin dees pee-wars now an den dat seems to bodder Maman. She says we are "Stinky Boyz" an den she geds outta mega-stinky Swiffer thingie dat Phil-da-Lad gots for her. An' she says WE stink!).

Heer issa pickchur ob me:

Bud ennyway... dere seem to be way too menny fings to belong to an too menny "Top" dis an dats.

And just to complykate fings furder, Maman an Dadda are in the whole mix, an mostly wiffoud knowin' aboud it which is Hoomins all ober. They ushally don't realise much until it hits 'em ober da hed like a tonne ob bricks.

You see, frumma Dawg's point-ob-view, Dadda is rilly the Top Dog inna Pack, which makes him whut is called, "Da Alpha Male". So, inna Dawg's view, dat makes Maman da "Alpha Female".

Conseequently, our Collie Dawg sees himself assa "Number One Sub-dominant Male", which means (Lemme see if I hab dis rite) dat he is second only to Dadda, an don't take orders frum ennybunny 'cept Daddy or Maman, and geds to eat furst afta Dadda an Maman, which is bifore enny catz, who are lower down onna scale ob Dawg HigherArchy.

Dawgs is berry organised.

Dawgs also hab "jobs" an dis is where we bunnies come in.

We are da Dawg's Primary Job. A'course, nobunny axted us, an we shure didn't axt to be pawt ob his Job, but heer we are...and dis is mainly cossa Maman. She has somehow let da Dawg know dat we hab to be protekted at all times. Dis means dat NO ONE can come innu da Bun Room wiffout da permisshun obba Dawg - and dat means dey habba axt Maman furst, or else da Dawg will chase dem out. Dis does not inclood Dadda, who, as Alpha Male, can do ennyfing he wants, except hurt Maman. If Maman geds hugged, denna Dawg hasta ged inna middle an protekt Maman. It's pawt ob his Job, too.

So Dawg society issa whole lot dif'runt an more complykated frum Rabbit Soceity.

Den dere is Cat Society which is also diffrunt frum an more complykated ebben den Dawg society.

Cossa catz fink ebberyfing inna whole werld belongs to them. If they can see it, it's their's an they can claim it. An so dey divide uppa houz between dem wiffoud conslutin da Dawg who finks da whole werld belongs to them.

Well, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat says he issa Tom, which means dat he gets to select fings furst wiffa permission obba Queen who is da Stoopit Cat who Maman calls "Beep" cos she hasn't told us her name yet.

Now dis Queen cat has been libbin heer for a long time, an Cokie didn't ebben know aboud her when Maman and Dadda brought him heer. He knew aboudda Dawg, cossa Dawg had been to visit Cokie in Cokie's houz, but now Cokie was comin to lib wiffa Dawg inna Dawg's houz, so alla Roolz were dif'frunt. An den Cokie discubbered da Stoopit Cat libbin uppastairs.

Well, dey were muchually surprised to see each udder, anna Dawg was like to habba fit cos he knew he was out-numbered two to one. So he fitted "Catz" innu his werld-view unnerneaf ob "rabbits", an put dem innu his Pack wiffoud realisin' dat dey were puttin him innu dere Chowder somewhere unnderneaf "rabbits" assa point-ob-innerest.

An as far assa Catz are conserned, we rabbits are funny-wookin catz. Cokie hadda run-in wif Belinda oncet, so he knows dat you don't ged close to rabbits unless you wike bein' hed-butted acrosst da floor. I fink he told Da Stoopit Cat alla'boud it, cos she don't ged up to wook at us, but she does try to come innu da Bun Room to take our hay. Why she wants our hay issa mystery, but she does - and dis alarums da Dawg who is protektin' us as pawt ob his Job.

Budda Catz don't seem to fink we need protecktin', an nedder do we. I mean, rilly, Belinda told me whut to do aboudda catz:

Furst you *thump* to warn 'em, an if they don't listen, you *honk*. If that still don't werk, you lower you hed and charge full-speeds atta middle obba cat, an' plough rite innu 'em. Then they gedda message as they are rollin acrosst da floor: don't mess wiffa rabbits. Missy sed also datta bite-onna-nose will werk wonders at improvin' cat memories aboud why dey shuldn't mess wif rabbits. Now heer issa pickchur obba Cokie-da-Fat-Cat:

At enny rate, we don't need Dawgs, rilly, but if da Collie Dawg wants to be pawt obba Warren, well, we kin find a pwace for him assa cushion, or wind-break, or shade. We don't need protekshun an we aren't an employmint oppertunity, eidder, an we shure don't need to be barked at, snuffled or sneezed ober.

We are Our Warren, Alla Us Togedder, NoBunny OnAlone.

So which pawt ob dis can't enny obba three ob dem unnerstand?

Awww, geez... now da Dawg is barkin inna Sittin' Room! An dere goes Maman to sort him oud... an heer comes a cat, runnin'...anna Dawg, chasin', an Maman, scurryin...I fink I herd sumfing go "crash" - nope, dat wassa TeeBee turnin' on - Cokie-da-Fat-Cat has sat onna Remote again...

Anudder day in Paradise...

-------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 11:18 AM EST
Updated: Saturday, 19 March 2005 11:26 AM EST
Friday, 18 March 2005
Spring is Sprung
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: The Bim Song
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Well, it wooks to me like Spring is almost heer.

The sun is gettin' warmer. The trees seem to be wantin' to hab buds on'em. The grass almost smells like growin'.

A'course, if we libbed out-of-doors like wildbunnies, then we'd know alla'boud Spring an' whether or not it was onna'way, cos it would be a 'portant isshoo an' all, but we are Housebunnies, so it's not all that anna bag ob chips, as Dadda says. In udder werds, it's 'portant, but it's not important like life-or-death when you lib indoors assa Urban Rabbit.

In fact, the onliest reason that it's 'portant for us to know if it's Spring or not is cos if it rilly is Spring, then we habba sing The Bim Song.

Now, furst, bifore we sing it, I godda tell you sumfing aboudda Bim Song, which was furst told to me by Hunny who wassa Oldest Libbin Rabbit in Our Warren until he went toda Rainbow Bridge on Number Five Janyooary, Two-thousand, five, Year ob Our Lord, when he was Thirteen anna Half years old, which is berry old fora rabbit. An he wassa Elder ob His Peebles, which is Alla Us Togedder in Our Warren.

But we just called him Hunny an' he knowed a whole lotta fings, an' Belinda Bunny told him to teach me alla stuff dat he knowed. So he did.

And dis is whut I learned aboud Bim:

Bim was Maman's Dadda. An he wassa Perfesser ob Science Eddykayshun an Organic Chemistry.

His real name wasn't "Bim", it was "Bill", but when Maman's kidlets, Beffy an Phil-the-Lad were liddle, they culdn't say "L's", an dey sed "M's" insted. So when dey herd Maman's mawmie call her Dadda, she wuld call, "Bill! The children are heer!" an den da children wuld call afta her, "Bim! We's heer!" Just wike dat.

An so dey allus called him "Bim" an so did we.

So Bim wassa teacher, bud he also singed songs and telled a lotta stories toda kids dat he teached. And when he got older and stopped teachin' kids, he usta come ober to Maman's house to hab coffee an' to talk to her, an to seeda bunnies, anna dawgs, anna catz. He liked annymals a wot. He ebben hadda dawg at his houz, but nebber enny catz (smawt man!) an nebber enny bunnies (dat is sad) cos Maman's mawmie didn't wike bunnies (which is stoopit).

So ennyways, he usta come to see Maman most days an hab coffee which he didn't get much ob at his houz onna'count obba fakt dat Maman's mawmie didn't wike coffee.

An' onna furst warm day, he wuld come inna houz an sing a song 'boud "Spring", and sure enuf, afta he sang da song, it wuld be Spring an alla cold Winter wuld go away anna flowers wuld come up frumma ground, anna grass wuld grow, anna trees wuld bud. Dere mite still be some cold nites, and dere mite ebben be a frost or so, but almost alla Winter wuld be gone until da nextest year. All becos obba song dat he sang.

And den one day he went toda Rainbow Bridge. He went inna Autumn Time, when menny fings go toda Bridge. An' afta he left, an for a long time, dere was Winter inna houz.

An den one day, Belinda Bunny sed toda rest obba Warren, "Dere is too much Winter heer."

Now Belinda wassa Top Bun inna Warren an she culd see dat dere was Winter alla'round inna houz, an alla'round outside, too. An dere was too much Winter in Maman, too.

An Belinda sed datta bunnies wuld habba do sumfing aboud alla Winter dat was around.

An Hunny sed, "We need to sing Da Bim Song to make da Wnter go away."

So he an Belinda teached da song dey had herd Bim sing to ebberybunny inna Warren. An' den they got Alla Us Togedder to sing it.

Anna Winter went away frumma outdoors, an frumma houz an frum Maman. An berry soon, Phil came home frumma Naby on sumfing called "Leeb" an ebberyfing was hokay.

So da nextest year, Alla Us Togedder inna Warren sang The Bim Song as soon as Belinda sed it was Spring, anna Winter went away again.

And not too long afta that, I came into Our Warren.

An' then Belinda an Hunny went to da Rainbow Bridge.

So now it's time again. You see, dere is too much Winter in dis houz again. I kin see it in Maman just like Belinda sed, and it is time for it to go.

It's time for alla cold to go away. Time forda flowers to wake up inna garden. Time forda grass to begin growin. Time forda trees to hab buds on'em.

An here is me, George, wiffoud Belinda, an wiffoud Hunny an' wif too much Winter hangin' ober dis houz, an ober dis garden an ober our Maman.

So I fink dat mebbe it's time for The Bim Song to be sung in dis Warren.

The sun is stronger.
The snow is melted.
The outside smells softer.
It is time.

So heer it is, The Bim Song sung by Alla Us Togedder at Our Warren:

Spring is Sprung!
Da grass is riz!
I wonder where
Da birdies is?

------- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 12:14 PM EST
Thursday, 17 March 2005
New Apawtmints
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: Here Comes the Sun
Topic: Movin' On!

Well, you wouldn't believe it.

We have new homes.

We are moving UP
inna werld.

Now, Belinda Bunny told me that when you are "wun foot offa ground, you gots no pwace to go but up". So I guess she also told this to Maman an' Dadda, and these new habbytats are their idea ob movin' UP.

Cos we are def-in-et-ly now onna UP side ob fings.

I mean, I am now on nose-level wiffa Collie-dawg.

Yup. He and I now see eye-to-eye, ebbery morning.

It's like this:

We inna Warren wake up when it is still offishully Dark. That's when rabbits wake up to start the day - at the tail-end of Dark, just before Light.

We wake up the Sun.

It's an impawtant job, cos without us, the Sun wouldn't know it was time to rise and shine.

So all ober da werld, bunnies wake up and stawt habbin their breakfasts inna Dark. And as we're habbin our breakfasts, da Sun hears us munchin' and makin' all kinds ob noise, an wakes up and begins risin' which means that the stars begin to go to bed - one by one. If you look outta window, you can see the stars fadin out as they leave the sky an' cuddle unnerneaf ob their cloud-blankies to go to sleep - an then, as the stars leave, well, Here Comes The Sun.

So the stars go to sleep, an the sun is rising, an the bunnies are munchin and makin' noises, habbin' breakfast.

Now for us housebunnies, breakfast is mostly hay and sum pellets an wadder frum Our Crocks.

Now some bunnies are Sippers, like Beebe. They take liddle drinks ob wadder and then wander off, but some bunnies are like my MissyBun and they are Tankers. They only drink once or twice a day, but when they drink, lemme tell you, they drink! They get nose-down inna crock an' don't come up forebber, an alla time, their tummies is gurglin' and squeekin' an ebben poppin' almost - as they fill up wif wadder. You nebber heared nuffin' wike it!

Belinda could make more noise drinkin wadder on her own den almost ennybunny I knowed - cept Missy. An Missy issa champion noise-maker when it comes to drinkin' wadder. She slurps, she squeeks, she burbles, she pops, she laps; she makes all kinds ob noises - an just so dat she can wake uppa Sun. It's her job an' she does it well.

But Missy's tummy also wakes uppa Dawg.

That's the Thing aboudda dawg - he hears ebberyfing. It's like his ears have scoops on'em, so he can scoop up alla sounds inna house at nite.

So he hears MissyBun drinking, tanking up on wadder, an out he comes frumma bedroom where Maman an Dadda are sleepin' to see whut alla noise is aboud.

And the noise is Missy, drinkin'.

So the Sun is wakin up an spreadin out all ober da sky like melted budder, an heer comes da dawg to see whut's up wif Missy's tummy.

But he hardly geds innu the kitchin, before he realises dat he's hearin wadder - and you know whut that does to a dawg who has been asleep alla nite long... makes him bemember that he hasn't gone toda bafroom inna wong, wong time.

Now for sum reazon, dawgs don't hab pooty-boxes. Cats do, an bunnies do, but not dawgs. Dawgs hab "yards" outside obba back-door that they "patrol" and that's where they habba pooty-place. I know this cossa Dawg told me.

So the Dawg comes innu the kitchin an looks at us, an he hears Missy gurgling, an bemembers that he hasta go "Outside".

Well, there's a babygate, an he's not 'lowed ober it wiffout Maman or Dadda. Besides, he don't hab 'posable thumbs to opin the door. So he's stuck.

Now before, when we were only wun foot offa ground, he didn't pay us much 'tenshun. Now dat we are inna new apawtmints, and are on eye-level wif him, it's like he's made a discobbery an we're it.

"Bunnies, I needa go outside."

And him an' me wook at each udder, an I wook atta udder bunnies an shurg, because we don't have 'posable thumbs eidder, and that door is locked up tighter than a cat's butt.

So I tell da dawg, "Lookit, Dawg, you gotta go getta hoomin."

And Mouse *thumps* because that's his way of callin' to Maman.

But a Maman asleep issa Maman who is gonna stay dat way. Dere is no use in callin Maman when she's sleepin', cos she goes deaf when she's asleep.

Then sumfing goes "click" onna counter inna kitchin an it starts to rain coffee inna pot onna counter.

Anna Dawg wooks atta pot wiffa coffee raining down innit an wags his tail a widdle in a berry werried way. Cos now he's not only hearing Missy wiffa wadder, he's hearin' rain inna coffee-pot.

"Dadda's gonna come?" He axts hopefully.

So I shake my head an flap my ears around, an Missy goes on drinkin', wif her tummy making more squeeks an' bubbles.

Anna Dawg opins his mouf an grins an stawts to pant a widdle.

"I godda go out soon."

An' I'm finkin', Oh geez, he's gonna stawt dat high-pitched peepin' dat collies do. So I sed to him, "Don't wook at me. I can't help you, Dawg."

Anna Dawg stawts whinin', "I gotta see if my yard is okay. See iffa squirrels is innit, an if dere wassa'nudder dawg innit, an if my pooty-spot is still mine, an iffa fence is all okay, an..."

"So why don't you go get Dadda?" asks Mouse and he *thumps* again, cos he can't stand the whinin' enny more than I can.

An Missy's still tankin up on wadder...lap, lap, lap, bubble, bubble, squeek, squeek...

Anna Dawg is beginning to wook a widdle desprit.

"Can your missus, um, stop, um, wiffa wadder?" The Dawg axts me.

An I'm wike, "Er, no. She's tankin up forda day an wakin uppa sun."

Anna Dawg is crossin' his paws now an wavin' his tail all around, an' then he trots off, fru da dining room, an downnahall.

An I can hear him go innu da bedroom where Maman an Dadda are sleepin.

Den I hear Dadda.

Den I hear da Dawg sneeze.

Den I hear Dadda again, an he's not happy.

"For hebbin's sake, Dawg!"

And den out dey bof come downnahall, fru the dining room, fru da kitchin, an Dadda opins da baby-gate anna dawg comes dancin' through.

Then Dadda pushes da button that makes The Box say things (like, "The Alarm Is Off", aldoh it has sed udder fings, like "Doors and Windows On" and onct it sed, "Unauthorized Entry" when Dadda fortygot to push sum buttons an Maman started yellin' an Dadda was runnin' around, wooking for his keys an stuff. It was preddy funny. Dat box is sumfing, lemme tell you.).

And den Dadda opined da door anna Dawg shot outside wike his tail was on fire.

An Dadda watched him for a minit an den wooked at me an sed, "Buggerit." Which issa werd he learned frum Hunny. I don't know whut it means, but Hunny sed it a lot.

An Dadda pushed Our Curtains aside frum Our Window, and there wassa Sun, just peekin' fru the trees.

An I nudged Missy an she wooked up, too, wiffa drop ob wadder on her cute widdle nose.

"Did I do it?" She axt me.

And I sed she had.

An' she sed, "Good. 'Bout time the Sun waked up. Cos I'm almost oberflowin wif wadder."

Which issa troof, cos when she walked, she waddled, wif her tummy swingin' back and forf. But dat's the fing aboud Missy - she sure knows how to wake uppa Sun.

----- By George

Posted by Our Warren at 10:10 AM EST
Sunday, 20 February 2005
Biological Diversity
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Insecurity Rains!
Topic: Movin' On!

Wow. Hoomins only hab two hands. Dey are rilly challenged when it comes down to bein' annymuls.

It's too bad that they don't hab enuf 'pendanges, you know? Cos it seems like dey gots too much to do, an don't hab da 'quipmint to do it wif.

Wike dis mornin'.

Ebberyfing was preddy quiet, an I was habbin sum hay, wike Hunny teached...taught me, anna Fat Cat, whose name is Cokie, comed...came out toda gate inna Bun Room an axted:

"Why you bunnies gots fud alla time an I don't?"

So I telled...told him, "Wookit, Cokes, if you didn't eat alla your stuff anna dawg's stuff anna udder cat's stuff, too, dere wuld still be sum stuff weft in your bowl. Want sum hay?"

And he said, "I'm gonna go wake uppa Dadda an ged sum fud, budda Dawg's inna doorway an I can't get fru wiffout him jumpin up and geddin in my face an tryin to 'herd' me away frumma bed. It's MY bed an dat's MYDadda, too! I don't wike it heer! Dis noo house stinks."

And I said toda Cokie-cat: "Wookit, you godda share. It whut we do. It's bein pawt obba Warren."

Anna Cokie sat down an sed, "Cats don't gots Warrens, Rabbit. You is pawt ob My Chowder. We gots Chowders anna females, wike KayCee are in charge. Now KayCee knew howta runna Chowder, lemme tell you! But Phil-da-Lad taked her wif him an weft me wif da Stoopit Cat who don't know how to run nuffin, who issa 'fraid obba Dawg - KayCee was nebber afraid, cept forda wun time when she was wike, velcroed toda dawg's face an he couldn't see an dey bof ran into da wall, wif ebberyone screamin', incloodin Maman - but KayCee nebber letta fud bowls ged empty. She knowed howta get things dun. Da Stoopit Cat dat libs heer don't know datta Dawg issa herder an don't bite. You jus walks unner neaf ob him when he's tryin to herd you an he geds his hed tangled up in his legs tryin to follow you an falls ober. It issn't hard to mess wif dis Dawg's hed."

An I sed, "So, wike, whut's da pwoblem?"

An Cokie stawted to gwoom himself, which is sad, cos I don't hab to gwoom myself. I gwoom Missy and she gwooms me. I fink cats hab it hard cos dey do alla dere gwooming OnAlone.

An between licks, Cokie sed, "I don' wanna share. Cats don' share. We hab stuff. My chair inna sitting room, My bowl. My bed. My Dadda! Me, my, MINE."

So I wooked at Missy an Missy wooked at me an I knowed...knew 'zacktly whut she was finking, namely, dat to be pawt obba Warren, you hab to do fings Alla Us Togedder.

An I also know dat when Cokie wailed, "MINE" wike dat, datta Dawg was gonna heer it, an he did, an preddy soon, oud he comes, wif his toenails goin tappy-tap onna floor obba kitchin.

Anna Dawg is wike, "So whuttsup wif you, Cat?"

An Cokie glares atta Dawg an says, "Go wook inna bowl."

So da Dawg goes to wook inna bowls dat is lined up by da Welsh Dresser, and Cokie whispurrs to me,

"Dat Dawg is so stoopit, too. Does ennyfing you tell him. I don' ged it! Hassn't he gots enny Pride at all?"

Anna Dawg ambles back an yawns an says, "Dey is all empty wif nuffin in'em. So wassamatter? Fud will come when Dadda wakes up. Hope it's soon. I godda go, you know, OutSide, an check my yard."

Anna Cokie Cat grumbles, "Oh yeah, your yard. How could I have forgotten it's your yard an I'm not 'lowed out dere?"

An I sed, "Wookit, Cokie, I'm not 'lowed out inna yard eidder an I don wanna go. I gotta habbytat an dat's whut's rite forda Warren. So da Dawg has gotta yard. You gotta red chair inna sittin' room."

"Only when Dadda's not innit," Sed Cokie. "Cos when he's innit, he wants me outta it. Says I'm too big an datta Dawg wants pets too an dat he don't hab enuf hands an dat we is all 'insekure'."

An I sed, "I'm not insekure. I'm preddy sekure rite where I am. You ged usta fings when dey are around for a widdle while."

Anna Cokie-cat wooked at me an at Beebe in da udder habbytat an Beebe-Bunny sed, "Yo!" which is his normal comment on most fings.

Den Cokie shook his hed, an sed, "Wookit, Dawg, dere is no fud. You gets to go outside inna yard. You ged alla pets an fusses -"

"Do not." Sedda Dawg. "Maman is allus tellin' me, 'Marc, Down.' which is a Command, and I hafta Obey Commands. I lernt dat in Beedy'ence Skool. When I Obey Commands, I am part obba Pack. Not Obeying Commands puts me outside obba Pack and that is not good."

So I axted da Dawg, "Whutssa 'Pack" fing?"

Anna Dawg sed, "Like a Warren, but for dawgs, an it has dif'frunt Roolz."

Anna Cokie-cat sneezed, cossa Dawg is sheddin fluff.

And den Cokie sed, "Well, I ain't in no 'Pack'."

Anna Dawg sed, "Ebberyone heer is inna Pack. Dat's whut dis is - da Pack. Dadda issa Alpha Male, Maman issa Alpha Female. I'm Sekond Male, an you are down dere wiffa rest ob my 'sponsibilities."

Anna Cokie-Fat-Cat sed, "I ain't pawt obba Pack, you Stoopit Dawg! You are a pawt ob My Chowder,"

So I inner'rupted him an sed, "I thought we wassa One Big Warren, Alla Us Togedder."

An we all wooked at each udder.

Anna Dawg wet outta small "peep" ob anxiety an sort ob collapsed onna floor.

"I dunno whut we are, but I know I gotta go OutSide rilly soon!" He whined.

"Why can't you use a litter-box like da west ob us?" axted Cokie, gettin' up.

"Cos I amma Dawg. Hey, Cat, where you goin'?"

Cos Cokie was on his feets and thuddin outta da kitchin on his way toda dinin' room where I couldn't see him, but I could heer him anna Dawg still arguin':

Cokie: Gonna wake up Dadda. Get off my tail, you stoopit dawg!

Dawg: You can't wake uppa Dadda! It's not rite to disturb da Alpha Male! It's against da Roolz!

Cokie: An wike I told you bifore where you can stick your Roolz. (Nuffin is as sarcastik assa Cat, lemme tell you!)

Dawg: Bud you hafta Obey Commands.

Cokie: Put your "Commands" rite back there along wif your "Roolz". I amma Cat. Inna Chowder, only da Alpha Female an that would beKayCee who isn't heer can tell me whut to do.

Dawg: The Alpha Female is Maman!

By now, da Dawg was barkin, anna Cokie-Cat musta jumped onna bed cos I herd Dadda yellin, "Will you two buggers pack it in?" an he was angry.

An sure enuf, preddy soon, here comed..came da Dawg, anna Cokie-Cat, followed by a rilly meeny-faced Dadda, all poundin fru da kitchin.

So Dadda opined da door anna Dawg went OutSide, an den da Fat Cat an Dadda went back innu da Kitchin an Dadda poured Kitty-kibble inna bowls, anna Dawg began to bark greetin's toda udder dawgs inna area, an Dadda hollared, "Pack it in, Marc!" an Marc did, cos axtchually, he's preddy smart fora dawg.

An den Dadda sets da bowl ob kitty-kibble onna floor an stawts makin' tea for himself an coffee for Maman.

An he's wike, well, grumblin, to himself, sort ob rumblin wike his tea-wadder-boiler, sayin',

"Only got two hands..." an den he comes innu da Bun Room an opins Da Big White Box, takes outta milk jug, slams da door, an wooks at me an says, "An whutta you buggers want?"

An I wooked at him an sed...said, "We're fine. But da udder two... Well, dere mite be sum ishoos..."

But I don't fink he herd me, cos he was alreddy on his way back innu da Kitchin. Hoomins don't hab big ears for rilly good listenin'.

An dey only hab two hands...

Posted by Our Warren at 9:50 AM EST

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