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Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Belinda Bunny used her Blog to commint on Current Events. Axtually, she used it to tawk aboud whutebber came innu her hed furst, an a wotta whut came innu her hed had to do wif whut was goin' on inna werld in gen'ral.
Now, cos I am still a youngbun an' not quite as 'Tellygint as Belinda, I hab consintrated more on lernin' an sharin' infortymayshun, an not so much on sharin' my 'pinions on werld affairs. But just cos I don't share my 'pinions doesn't mean dat I don't hab 'pinions - just dat I don't share'em.
Know whut I mean?
Well, now I'm gonna share one ob my 'pinions.
Stoopit hoomins go ebberywheres.
Dat's rite. Dey do.
No madder where you go, you will run innu stoopit hoomins.
Now, you will notis dat bunnies sort of worry aboud becoming 'Tellygint - for us, bein' 'Tellygint issa Goal In Life. Dis is becos when you are a Prey Annymul, bein' stoopit is not a choice dat will grant you a long an' satisfaktory life. In fackt, bein' stoopit will just aboud allus gar-ran-tee dat you will habba short, nasty exsistance, followed by a terryfyin' end. So bein' stoopit is not whut you wuld call a good Life Choice for ennybunny.
Which is why 99.99999% obba bunnies opt for growin' 'Tellygint.
But hoomins don't. An ebberywheres you go inna werld you will find Stoopit Hoomins.
Now heer is why I fink dis:
1.) Dis mornin', while I was readin' da noospaper wif Maman, I finded dis HedLine: "No Hop For Older Rabbits". So I finked, "Whutdaheck is dis?" an heer wassa artykul sayin' aboud how hoomins were dumpin' dere older bunnies outside so dat dey culd "replace" dem wif cuter, young bunnies dey are findin' at Easter-time. Anna RSPCA, which issa Annymul Welfare Police in Inkwand, which issa YouNited Kingdom, was pickin' up alla bunnies dat dey culd and gettin' dem innu shelters where dey wuld be safe.
Now whut culd be stoopiter den dis? Hoomins wif perfektly good companion bunnies are dumpin' dem so dey can get udder, widdle bunnies? WHY? Dis is unbelieveably sad! To ged rid obba friend just to ged anudder one? It makes no sense. And it is cruel. Dees stoopit hoomins Do Not Deserb To Hab Companion Bunnies Nebber Again!. *THUMP* Dey deserb to hab sumfing painted on dere heds dat will stay dere forebber dat says, "Dis Issa Stoopit Person! Not Allowed to Hab Pets!"
So dere apparently are a wotta stoopit hoomins in Inkwand.
Da good noos is dat Dadda got outta dere bifore he got stoopit wike dem, cos I habba feelin' dat stoopitity is kinda wike a disease: it spreads.
But den, dere are a wotta stoopit hoomins inna pwace called Australia, an inna YouNited States, too, who dump bunnies at Easter Time.
I know. I wassa Dumped Easter Bunny. An I can tell you - bein' shut up inna box an bein' left OnAlone inna V-E-Ts' office is terryfyin'. You try it. It sucks.
2.) A nudder rezon why I fink dat hoomins allow too much stoopitity in dere species is dis: You know dat berry brave, berry kind Pope dat just crossed ober Da Rainbow Bridge? Yeah, him. John Paul (only he hadda nudder name bifore he was 'dopted assa Pope - sumtimes dis happins when you are 'dopted, dat you gedda noo name) crossed da Rainbow Bridge anna wotta hoomins gaddered togedder inna pwace called It'ly to lite candles for him an ebberyfing, to help lite his Pafway Toda Bridge. An den dere's dis Bishop, who has wike NO SENSITIBITY to ennyfing, an he hasta go an ged his name inna noospapers by speakin' ill obba Depawted.
Now whut's up wiff'at?
I mean, dere is plenty ob time for a hoomin to stand up an say, "Hey you. I don't wike whut you are doin'." when da person is alibe an can tawk aboud da rezons why dey are doin' whut dey're doin'. But to wait until dey are crossin da Rainbow Bridge an den shoutin' out, "Hey you!" - I mean dat's just poor manners, you know? So howcome dis Bishop of Litchfield is only bein' critical now? Mebbe cos da weight ob his Bishop's hat is, wike, compressin' his good sense? Or issit more impawtant for him to ged his face inna noospapers den to respeck sumbunny who he don't agree wif, but who at least was honest an forthright all his life?
You godda wonder, you know? So rite away, den, we gots Stoopit Hoomins in Inkwand, Australia, da YouNited Kingdom, anna YouNited States an den in It'ly.
3.) An heer's da Third Fing dat has me convinced dat hoomins are choosin stoopitity assa Life Goal: Dis Prince Charles an his bondmate, Camilla geddin married. Well, you know, when I found Missy, an made dat hole so I culd go see her alla time, I wassa Happy Bunny. An ebben doh I made a mess ob my habbytat en ebberyfing, an kept Maman an Dadda awake by singin' my Makin' A Hole song fru da nite, nobunny sed ennyfing nasty to me aboudd'it. Dey were happy dat I was happy.
So whuttsamatta wif dis Prince guy bein happy? An why does marryin' his bondmate make him unfit to beda King? An why issit ebberybunnies' biznezz ennyway? Udder Hares toda Thrown hab married "commoners" bifore (I wooked dis up in Maman's buks), an ebben had kids wiff'em dat dey gabe royalty names to (which seems to be how royalty geds made - by bein' aroun'na Kings an soforth) so maybe da ones dat is hollerin' da loudest are da ones who didn't gedda invite to share da Weddin' Nanner wiffa Happy Couple?
I just hate it when I see sumbun who is happy an ebberybunny goes to a lotta trubble to pour a lotta ants on dere picknick (as Maman says). Cos atta end obba story, all you find issa whole lotta envy goin' on - green-eyed monsters inna Noos repawters, tryin' to create trubble where dere is none just so dat ebberybun will buy dere story an make dem munnies. Mebbe when dat Charles guy gets to be King, dere will be sum changes made at dat BBC pwace an den da winders will be opined, an alla doors, anna Troof will be 'lowed to come outside for ebberybun to see.
Now wuldn't dat be sumfing? Just da Troof, wiffoud a dwessup in coloured clothes. Whoa. Now dere's a concept! Insted obba wotta "reality" stuff onna tellybishon, whut if we got to see "da Troof"?
Nahhh. We won't. Nobunny will, not ebber. Cos dere is no munny in axtin stoopit hoomins to form dere own 'pinions. Maman says it takes werk to fink up 'pinions, an sumtimes habbin' 'pinions can make a hoomin unpopular wif udder hoomins.
4.) Wike in Eye-Rak. More stoopit hoomins. Heer are a bunch ob hoomins tryin' to make a noo countree an 'lect a noo Top Bun. Hokay, dis is hard werk - belieb me, I know, cos when Hunny went to da Rainbow Bridge, we hab had trubble findin' OneBun to take ober bein' Top Bun heer. But in Eye-Rak, don't dees Stoopit Hoomins hab to go an habba Neggytib p'rade, complainin aboud how dey don't wike dis an dat? So, wike, if dey culd just ged togedder an 'lect a gobbermint ob sum kind, den alla udder hoomins dey don't wike wuld leeb ennyways.
So da ansur toda pwoblem is not to hold a p'rade wif critical floats an' re-enactmints an stuff, but to say whut dere guy can do dat is good forda countree an ged him 'lected so dey can help in buildin' da pwace back up.
Da ansur to enny pwoblem is not to compwain, but to do sumfing to help. If you don't godda idea aboud how to fix whut is wrong, den siddown an' shaddup an' wet sumbun else habba chance.
Issat so hard? Ushally ebberybun alreddy knows whut da pwoblems are. It's how to fix stuff dat has 'em confoozled. Cos you hab to grow 'Tellygint in order to fix stuff - stoopitity nebber fixed ennyfing.
So, by my count, we seem to hab stoopit hoomins in a wotta pwaces all ober da werld. In fackt, if you wook carefully atta noospapers, it seems wike stoopit hoomins are just aboud da onliest subjekt dat's bein' written aboud.
An' dis is disturbin, cos as ebbery rabbit knows - as ebbery prey annymul knows - bein' stoopid preddy much equals bein' dead inna neer footchur.
So, you know whut? I'd radder be 'Tellygint an werk at habbin 'pinions den be stoopit an den dead. Shure, it's easier to be stoopit; it's easier to be dead, too, but not much fun, an shure not berry useful.
So I'm gonna keep up werkin' on becomin' 'Tellygint, like Belinda told me. Cos choosin Life seems a whole lot bedder den choosin' to be dead.