The Hay Diaries
14 Dec, 15 > 20 Dec, 15
7 Dec, 15 > 13 Dec, 15
17 Sep, 12 > 23 Sep, 12
10 Sep, 12 > 16 Sep, 12
14 Jun, 10 > 20 Jun, 10
31 May, 10 > 6 Jun, 10
15 Mar, 10 > 21 Mar, 10
1 Feb, 10 > 7 Feb, 10
25 Jan, 10 > 31 Jan, 10
18 Jan, 10 > 24 Jan, 10
11 Jan, 10 > 17 Jan, 10
25 May, 09 > 31 May, 09
4 May, 09 > 10 May, 09
20 Apr, 09 > 26 Apr, 09
13 Apr, 09 > 19 Apr, 09
6 Apr, 09 > 12 Apr, 09
30 Mar, 09 > 5 Apr, 09
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16 Mar, 09 > 22 Mar, 09
9 Mar, 09 > 15 Mar, 09
2 Mar, 09 > 8 Mar, 09
5 Jan, 09 > 11 Jan, 09
29 Dec, 08 > 4 Jan, 09
1 Dec, 08 > 7 Dec, 08
7 Jul, 08 > 13 Jul, 08
23 Jun, 08 > 29 Jun, 08
9 Jun, 08 > 15 Jun, 08
19 May, 08 > 25 May, 08
12 May, 08 > 18 May, 08
5 May, 08 > 11 May, 08
24 Mar, 08 > 30 Mar, 08
17 Mar, 08 > 23 Mar, 08
10 Mar, 08 > 16 Mar, 08
3 Mar, 08 > 9 Mar, 08
25 Feb, 08 > 2 Mar, 08
18 Feb, 08 > 24 Feb, 08
11 Feb, 08 > 17 Feb, 08
4 Feb, 08 > 10 Feb, 08
28 Jan, 08 > 3 Feb, 08
21 Jan, 08 > 27 Jan, 08
14 Jan, 08 > 20 Jan, 08
17 Dec, 07 > 23 Dec, 07
10 Dec, 07 > 16 Dec, 07
12 Nov, 07 > 18 Nov, 07
5 Nov, 07 > 11 Nov, 07
22 Oct, 07 > 28 Oct, 07
1 Oct, 07 > 7 Oct, 07
27 Aug, 07 > 2 Sep, 07
20 Aug, 07 > 26 Aug, 07
13 Aug, 07 > 19 Aug, 07
6 Aug, 07 > 12 Aug, 07
30 Jul, 07 > 5 Aug, 07
23 Jul, 07 > 29 Jul, 07
9 Jul, 07 > 15 Jul, 07
18 Jun, 07 > 24 Jun, 07
11 Jun, 07 > 17 Jun, 07
28 May, 07 > 3 Jun, 07
21 May, 07 > 27 May, 07
14 May, 07 > 20 May, 07
7 May, 07 > 13 May, 07
30 Apr, 07 > 6 May, 07
16 Apr, 07 > 22 Apr, 07
2 Apr, 07 > 8 Apr, 07
26 Mar, 07 > 1 Apr, 07
19 Mar, 07 > 25 Mar, 07
12 Mar, 07 > 18 Mar, 07
5 Mar, 07 > 11 Mar, 07
26 Feb, 07 > 4 Mar, 07
19 Feb, 07 > 25 Feb, 07
12 Feb, 07 > 18 Feb, 07
15 Jan, 07 > 21 Jan, 07
1 Jan, 07 > 7 Jan, 07
25 Dec, 06 > 31 Dec, 06
18 Dec, 06 > 24 Dec, 06
11 Dec, 06 > 17 Dec, 06
4 Dec, 06 > 10 Dec, 06
20 Nov, 06 > 26 Nov, 06
30 Oct, 06 > 5 Nov, 06
25 Sep, 06 > 1 Oct, 06
18 Sep, 06 > 24 Sep, 06
4 Sep, 06 > 10 Sep, 06
28 Aug, 06 > 3 Sep, 06
21 Aug, 06 > 27 Aug, 06
14 Aug, 06 > 20 Aug, 06
7 Aug, 06 > 13 Aug, 06
31 Jul, 06 > 6 Aug, 06
10 Jul, 06 > 16 Jul, 06
3 Jul, 06 > 9 Jul, 06
26 Jun, 06 > 2 Jul, 06
19 Jun, 06 > 25 Jun, 06
12 Jun, 06 > 18 Jun, 06
5 Jun, 06 > 11 Jun, 06
29 May, 06 > 4 Jun, 06
22 May, 06 > 28 May, 06
15 May, 06 > 21 May, 06
8 May, 06 > 14 May, 06
1 May, 06 > 7 May, 06
24 Apr, 06 > 30 Apr, 06
17 Apr, 06 > 23 Apr, 06
10 Apr, 06 > 16 Apr, 06
6 Mar, 06 > 12 Mar, 06
27 Feb, 06 > 5 Mar, 06
20 Feb, 06 > 26 Feb, 06
13 Feb, 06 > 19 Feb, 06
6 Feb, 06 > 12 Feb, 06
23 Jan, 06 > 29 Jan, 06
9 Jan, 06 > 15 Jan, 06
2 Jan, 06 > 8 Jan, 06
26 Dec, 05 > 1 Jan, 06
12 Dec, 05 > 18 Dec, 05
5 Dec, 05 > 11 Dec, 05
28 Nov, 05 > 4 Dec, 05
14 Nov, 05 > 20 Nov, 05
7 Nov, 05 > 13 Nov, 05
31 Oct, 05 > 6 Nov, 05
24 Oct, 05 > 30 Oct, 05
17 Oct, 05 > 23 Oct, 05
10 Oct, 05 > 16 Oct, 05
3 Oct, 05 > 9 Oct, 05
27 Jun, 05 > 3 Jul, 05
20 Jun, 05 > 26 Jun, 05
13 Jun, 05 > 19 Jun, 05
6 Jun, 05 > 12 Jun, 05
23 May, 05 > 29 May, 05
16 May, 05 > 22 May, 05
11 Apr, 05 > 17 Apr, 05
4 Apr, 05 > 10 Apr, 05
28 Mar, 05 > 3 Apr, 05
21 Mar, 05 > 27 Mar, 05
14 Mar, 05 > 20 Mar, 05
21 Feb, 05 > 27 Feb, 05
14 Feb, 05 > 20 Feb, 05
7 Feb, 05 > 13 Feb, 05
24 Jan, 05 > 30 Jan, 05
17 Jan, 05 > 23 Jan, 05
10 Jan, 05 > 16 Jan, 05
29 Nov, 04 > 5 Dec, 04
22 Nov, 04 > 28 Nov, 04
15 Nov, 04 > 21 Nov, 04
11 Oct, 04 > 17 Oct, 04
20 Sep, 04 > 26 Sep, 04
13 Sep, 04 > 19 Sep, 04
30 Aug, 04 > 5 Sep, 04
23 Aug, 04 > 29 Aug, 04
16 Aug, 04 > 22 Aug, 04
9 Aug, 04 > 15 Aug, 04
2 Aug, 04 > 8 Aug, 04
26 Jul, 04 > 1 Aug, 04
19 Jul, 04 > 25 Jul, 04
5 Jul, 04 > 11 Jul, 04
28 Jun, 04 > 4 Jul, 04
21 Jun, 04 > 27 Jun, 04
14 Jun, 04 > 20 Jun, 04
7 Jun, 04 > 13 Jun, 04
31 May, 04 > 6 Jun, 04
24 May, 04 > 30 May, 04
17 May, 04 > 23 May, 04
10 May, 04 > 16 May, 04
3 May, 04 > 9 May, 04
26 Apr, 04 > 2 May, 04
19 Apr, 04 > 25 Apr, 04
12 Apr, 04 > 18 Apr, 04
29 Mar, 04 > 4 Apr, 04
22 Mar, 04 > 28 Mar, 04
15 Mar, 04 > 21 Mar, 04
8 Mar, 04 > 14 Mar, 04
1 Mar, 04 > 7 Mar, 04
23 Feb, 04 > 29 Feb, 04
16 Feb, 04 > 22 Feb, 04
9 Feb, 04 > 15 Feb, 04
2 Feb, 04 > 8 Feb, 04
26 Jan, 04 > 1 Feb, 04
19 Jan, 04 > 25 Jan, 04
12 Jan, 04 > 18 Jan, 04
5 Jan, 04 > 11 Jan, 04
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Wednesday, 13 October 2004
Clover Reads the Philadelphia Inquirer
Mood:  down
Now Playing: A Nice Man Writes A Sad Story
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Hullo. It's me, Ms. Clover.

I don't type too menny blogs. Dis is cos I am more obba housebun kinda bunny. I take care of Beebe, an I push hay; I clean up da pootie-box, an tidy da toys, an look for tweats an nap an tawk to Hunny cos sumbun should. Let's face it, I'm just not wike Missy an do pwotests an Rabbit Rites, or wike George an reada Noospaper wif Maman an do "soshul commentary". It's just not me...

ExCept, I did reada noospaper dis mawnin wif Maman. We were sittin atta computer together.

She told me da Noospaper was called The Philadelphia Inquirer an dat it wassa berry old noospaper an berry respected. I guess by udder hoomins, cos I don't know too many bunnies who read it.

Ennyways, I readed a story by sum guy named Stu. Not to be confoozled wif dat werd we don't tawk about that sum hoomins think is funny to mention to Maman dat makes her mad when it is mentioned in connection wif bunnies. Not dat kinda Stu.

His second name is Bykofsky and he has typed a story inna noospaper aboud a poor dawg.

Da dog's name was Sheea.

Now, Sheea runned off frum her family (dawgs is stoopit wike dis). Den sum nice lady found her, an taked her to da municiple shelter in Philadelphia so dat her family could find her and come an get her.

Inna meantime, Sheea's family was lookin for her, an puttin up signs an callin da municiple shelter, axtin da hoomins dere to look for their lost dawg, Sheea, who had already been found an was in the municiple shelter, if they did but know it.

Well, Sheea was there in the municipal shelter for alla nine minutes whenna hoomins dere sent her toda Rainbow Bridge!


Nobun tried to find Sheea's family. Nobun picked uppa phone. Nobun looked atta signs Sheea's family had put up onna walls inna shelter. Nobun cared.

They just killed nine minutes...


Whut is wrong wif these hoomins? Can't they read? Are they stoopit? Don't they place enny value at all on a creature's life? Sure, they tawk about "rehoming" pets - but who can find a home in nine minutes? Don't they wantus animals to find homes?

Whut kind of chance do we hab to find forever homes in nine minutes?

I was Bundergrounded frum Bis-Con-Sin to Noo Joisey. It took days for me to get frum there to here. What if I only had nine minutes?

Bebee-Bunny!! wassa class-room bunny who was abandoned in his class-room in Maryland. Maman an Dadda hadda drive to Maryland, stay obernite at a motel an den go to pik him up. It took a week-end. Whut if he had only had nine minutes?

Missy-Bun's furst mawmie died ob cancer an her family was moovin to Floryda, so she got to stay with Unky Michael and Auntie Kari an Cousin Kramer in Noo Yawk. Den Maman an Unky Michael tawked onna phone an decided onna time to meet an once again, Maman an Dadda got inna car an drived to sumplace dat took all day to bring Missy home. Whut if Missy had only had nine minutes?

An George - gettin left atta V-E-Ts pwace inna box? Even though Maman raced ober dere, it took longer den nine minutes for her to get dere and to scoop up George an bring him home.

An Hunny - poor old Hunny who is Thirteen Years Old - he spent da day dyin in his cage atta Yard Sale before Maman rescued him. He almost died because no one cared about him, yet he got longer den nine minutes to find a forever home.

The thing is this: A Shelter is supposed to be a safe place for animals to be.

So how safe can you feel for only nine minutes?

Poor Sheea.

I hope Belinda Bunny met Sheea atta Rainbow Bridge an 'splained to her dat not alla hoomins are stoopit an mean, dat some care, an some werk rilly hard to keep us all safe.

An if I know Belinda, she did that. Belinda had no patience wif stoopit hoomins. Nedder does Maman. And nedder does dat Bykofsky guy who writes stories inna Philadelphia Inquirer.

I hope you'll read dis Stu guy's story about Sheea's Nine Minutes. It's berry sad, I know, but it is impawtant for hoomins to know about Sheea , cos sumbunny hasta stop stoopit hoomins, an only da smart ones can.

Posted by Our Warren at 11:20 AM EDT
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Saturday, 25 September 2004
Missy Impawts Wizdom
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Geddin Along Or Rabbits Furst
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit

Good mawnin, fellow Houzbunnies. Missy-Bun heer.

Inna Fird Pawt ob my serries, "Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit", I wuld wike to addwess whut seems to be a berry impawtant ishoo: Geddin Along Wid Udder Critters Inna Houz or, as I wike to say, Bunnies Come Furst.

I know dat sum ob you buns out dere habba share your houzes wif udder annymals. Ob course, sum ob you are wucky an ebberyfing in your houz is just set up for hoomins an bunnies. Den dere are a berry forchunate few who habba sitcheeyashun where da whole libbin space is deboted to just house-bunnies, but dat don happin oftin enuf. Sad, bud troo.

So whut happins to most ob us issat we find ourselbs libbin inna houz wif udder critters.

In Our Warren, we bunnies hab our own room. Dis issa Bun Room. Inside obbit, we habba habbytats, which are wike our own rooms. We all hab our own litter-boxes, our own wadder crocks, food crocks, hay sup'lies, toys, hideys an whutebber else we want. Our Bun Room hassa air-condishywasher to keep it cool inna Summer an dere are free windoze.

Dere is also a wattice-werk slidey-door.

Dis is cos we also hab catz.

I know, it's a total embarrassmint, but I hab to step up an admit it: We Hab Catz.

An okayshunally, we ebben hab Dawgs .

Now dere are ways ob handlin dees indiggities.

Furst ob all, dere is nuffin to be a-shamed ob. It's notta bunny's fault whin a houz is infested wif udder critters. We aren't da wuns dat bringed dem in, an we're notta wuns keepin dem heer.

Da pwoblem is oberly kind hoomins dat Can't Say NO.

Dere is nuffin a bunny can do aboudda hoomins. Mind-contwoll only will go so far. Howebber, dere are ways ob libbin wif dees fings.

If a bunny finds dey is libbin inna houz infested by udder critters, da Furst Fing to bemember issat: Da Bunny Is Allus Rite. Oncest dis Rool is firmwy in-bedded inna bunny's mind, ebberyfing else will follow awong smoofwy.

Heer issa short wist ob udder critters a bunny mite find in dere homez:

Catz: Catz are selfish, wazy an nutz. Dey hab nuffin you want. Dey, howebber, want to know whut you're doin an dey want your hay. Dey are ushually skert ob you, doh, an are cowards. Show dem you meen biznezz an dey will leeb you awone. Wun inna hunnert culd bekom friends, bud don bettonnit.
Dawgs: Dawgs are dangerous an assa Rool cannot be trusted. ABOID AT ALL COSTS! Allus be wiffa hoomin. Nebber confrunt a dawg on your own! Ebben if you hab bited it's nose, or udderwise made your point, bunnies an dawgs are NEBBER SAFE TOGEDDER.
Fish: Don't madder.
Gimmie-Pigs: As dere name implies, dees noisey widdle guys want ebberyfing you hab, bud you kind ushually come to an agreemint wiff'em aboud most stuff. Dey are nod aggressivb, bud dey ushually can't getta hang obba pootie-box. Dey are berry communykatib an tawk alla time an are bizzy. Howebber, if you need peace an quiet, ged up high sumpwace cos dey can't jump or climb.
Birds: Birds can be a pwoblem cos dere is all kinds. Sum come inn'er down houzes an don bodder bunnies. Dees are hokay an will dwop seeds dat are gud to eat. Den dere are da udder kinda birds dat are BIG. Dees can be a pwoblem in dat sum obb'em can tawk an yell at you. Sum obb'em walk onna floor an ged innu your stuff. Takin a run at'tem mite not werk cos dey hab beeks dat poke. Axt for hoomin assistance wif birds!.

Bud bemember, no madder whut happins, where ebber a bunny libs issa bunny's houz. Anna Furst Rool ob bein a Houz Bunny is:

~*~*~*~DA BUNNY IS ALLUS RITE~*~*~*~

Posted by Our Warren at 10:47 AM EDT
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Friday, 24 September 2004
Missy Impawts Wizdom
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: S*L*O*B: It's the Litterbox, Stoopit.
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Good mawnin, Houzbunnies! It's Missy-Bun, back wiffa'nudder installmint ob adbice on Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit.

Wunna da gud fings aboud libbin wif George issat he issa youngbun. Now I'm finally geddin to see whut it was like for Belinda when I arribed heer at Our Warren assa youngbun an she hadda take time oudda her bizzy schedule assa Top Bunny to teach me to become 'Tellygint.

Atta time, I didn't realise whutta big task dat was, but I'm seein it now, lemme tell you!

Bud Belinda had it easy, and dis is cos I amma GURL. Howebber, George issa BOY. An nod onwy dat, he issa S*L*O*B.

S*L*O*B stand for

Now dis is whut I hab obserbed:

Young males ob whutebber species are a mess. Eidder dat, or dey are a mess just waitin for a pwace to okur.

I will cite three hextamples:
Hextample Number Wun: Cat
Name: Cokie-da-Fat-Cat

Cokie issa walkin, talkin mess. Until Maman taked him toda Cat Spa, he was also a stinkin mess, but luck'ly, dey gibbed himma baf. Cuttin off most ob his fur was also a big improobmint, cos at weast he don come in heer ennymore an drag out halffa hay bale stuck to his tail. We're tawkin walkin dustball. An hoomins call whut dey find unnerneaf obba beds "dustBUNNIES"? Who are dey kiddin? Dis issa rovin' dustCAT dat picks up fuzz bedder den most Swiffermops. An alla time, I heer Dadda compwain aboud how fulla cat-litter-box is geddin, an dat is cossa Cokie. Dadda says dat NUFFIN "can convert food innu crap wike dat cat", which is no s'prise to me, cos I knowed alla'long dat catz are fulla crap inna furst pwace.

An nod onwy dat, but dis cat is stoopit. Whut udder creetchur wuld get up onna bed ebbery nite, pry opin Dadda's eyelid wiffa claw just so he kin get airborn? Cos I'm tellin you, dis is whut happins. I heer da bed creek, den I heer da cat purrr, den I heer Dadda say some rilly bad werds an den I heer dis *FUMP* - an dat's Cokie, flyin fru da air an hittin da floor. Now you'd fink datta cat wuld wearn sumfing heer, wouldn'cha? But ebbery nite, dis happins. An den I heer Maman say, "Whut'ssamatter, Darwing?" to Dadda, an Dadda says, "(bad-werd)-Cat's got 'is (bad-werd)-great paw in me eye again, now doesn't 'e?" An dat's how I know datta Cokie-cat don wearn an is derefore, stoopit.

Now dere is also a mean widdle female cat heer an her name is KayCee. I can't stand her. Mind you, I can't stand enny catz, but dis widdle bundul ob spite just aboud takes da carrotcake. She's sneeky, mean, an she's nutz. But she's cleen. She duzzin't gadder fuzz, she duzzin't carry away da hay. She duzzin't smell (much). She spends a wotta time makin shure her coat wooks nice. She's a GURL. An dat'ssa onwy good fing aboud her.

Hextample Number Two: Hoomin
Name: Phil anna Rent-A-Teens

Hokay, we're talkin big-time, werld-cwass S*L*O*Bs heer. Inna way, dey are a wot wike Cokie, onwy wiffoud alla dust. An dey do tend not to smell as bad unwess dey hab bin out inna garden or inna cars doin sumfing dey call "werkin". Den dey can rilly smell, right on up to stink. An sumtimes, when dey are goin sumwheres, dey put on special stinks dat you just can't imagine ennybun wuld wanna smell wike. Sumtimes dere's a combinashun ob stinks, wike wun dat comes frum dere faces, wun frum dere hair, anna nudder wun frum unner dere arms (which is rilly weird).

Dey also leeb whut Maman calls "debris" all ober, an dis mostwy hasta do wif food. Sumtimes dey will share dis food. Dey drink outta cans which dey leeb onna floor or onna tabul or onna winnosill. Sumtimes dees can hab stinks, too. Smells wike sugar an fake froot, mostwy oranges an wimes. Maman is allus yellin at'tem to "cwean up dis pwace" an den dey gets big bags an make a wotta noise wif DEE-BEE-DEEs. Dey habba wotta noisy "VIDEO" games dat Mouse wikes to watch dat skare me cos dey also make a wotta noise. An dey hab big feets dat CLOMP up an downnastairs. Dey are also allus ringing cos dey hab dees "phones" 'tached to dere hands.

So boyz are berry LOUD. Just when I'm lyin down fora nap, Phil goes byda Bun Room, sticks his hed inna door an yells out, "OOO-RAH, bunnies, OOO-RAH!" Skeers me half to def, cos I'm nod 'spectin it. He lernt dis inna pwace called "Da Naby" where I fink dere are a wotta messy, woud boyz who pwobabwy also stink.

Now Maman, an Sistah Beffy are GURLS an dey are hoomins, too, an dey aren't half as noisey, or stinky. In fact, a wotta times, you don ebben know Maman's aroun, cos she spends a wotta time doin whut she calls "reedin" or "werkin onna buk" an dat kinda werk don make her smell wike a train-wrek. Onwy when she's goin out wif Dadda - den she gots funny flower smells, but nuffin dat's gonna make your hair frizzle.

Hextample Number Three: Rabbit
Name: George

George can't finda litterbox wiffa map an bof paws. I don't know whut'ssamatta wif dis kid. I mean, dere issa BIG, RED litterbox heer inna habbytat. You culd get fibe bunnies innit, no pwoblem, all sittin nice, back to back an nobunny wuld be outta room, if you know whut I mean. No tail-touch, which is impawtant.

But will George use it? No.

So Maman gibbed him his own litterbox, a nice speshul square wun wiffa cut-down frunt. She put it in his habbytat, just inna right spot (scientifikly determined).

He 'norred it.

So she put hay innit to make it more innerestin.

He used it assa diner an pootied in frunt obbit.

So George commed ober heer to lib wif me, and dat was hokay, until he decided dat he was gonna use da hay dat I was sabin for brekfast for his personal potty.

Well I stopped dat right off wiffa good clip 'roundda ear.

Den he decided dat he was gonna habba pootie-war wif Beebe.

An Clover an I stopped DAT right away, too, wif simotaneous clips 'roundda ears to bof George an Beebe.

As Belinda sed, can't be habbin wiffat.

So George goes paddlin on big feets, an compwains to Maman dat he don gotta pootiebox. An heer's dis BIG, RED pottiebox, wif room enuf innit for fibe rabbits, sittin heer inna habbytat, warger den life, dat he's 'norrin. So Maman moobs his nice, speshul widdle square pootiebox wiffa cut-down-frunt-for-easy-akcess innu da habbytat for him.

An he pooties onna floor BETWEEN da two pootieboxes!

An all onna'count obba fact dat he issa S*L*O*B.

I rest my case.

Posted by Our Warren at 11:41 AM EDT
Updated: Friday, 24 September 2004 11:49 AM EDT
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Thursday, 23 September 2004
Missy Impawts Wizdom
Mood:  sharp
Now Playing: A Dawg's Pwace & Howta Put Him/Her Dere
Topic: Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit
Good mornin, HouzBuns. Dis is Missy-Bun.

Since George has bin slackin off typin dis Blog fing, I thought it wuld be good if I hopped up heer an stawted typin sum'obba stuff dat I hab lerned ober da yeers bein a houz-bunny. Impawtin Wizdom to Youngbuns issa 'portant pawt ob bein a 'Tellygint Rabbit. Belinda teached me dat, an I intend to carry on wiffit.

Now wet's ged wun fing straight: I'm frum Noo Yawk. We're tawkin fast-track, bwight-wights, big-citty. Dis issn't gonna be a primmer for noobs an slow-pokes. You godda be tough, you godda be smawt, an you godda be quick.

We're Urban Houzbunnies, savvy buns moobin innu da Footchur. We are on-wine, connekted an in-touch. We are soshully responsible an we are environmentally aware. We ain't'chur grandbuns' "pockit pet" an we don cower out-ob-doors in hutches, waidin for some kinda Hell - we hab moobed innadoors an we WIKE it!

Da furst pawt ob my series on Libbin Assa Urban Rabbit is deboted to A Dawg's Pwace an Howta Put Him/Her Dere.

Dawgs are by far da most numerous houz-pet. I dunno why. Dey are smelly, noisy an dey allus want sumfing you hab. Dey are also allus in your biznezz.

Frum yeers an yeers ob bein inna Houz, dawgs tend to fink dat dey own it all. Dis incloods you. Dis is cos dawgs fink globally. Dey tend to wook around demselbs an fink: It's all mine.

Id issa popular misconception dey harbour. Cos we are bunnies we know, wiffoud rezzyvashuns or hezzytashuns, dat we belong toda Warren, wiffa same rites an pribbeliges as ebberybun else. We do nod bewong to sum stoopit dawg.

I reesentwy herd frumma'nudder bunny datta dawg had stolen his tweat - a pear (or pair, or pare. Spellin is wunna dose fluid fings. Pwease twy to keep up.)

Now we heer at Our Warren we are berry sowwy to heer dat our friend wost a perfektly good pare (or pear, or pair) toda stoopit dawg.

Yes, sadwy, whenna hoomins do not watch, sumtimes, dis will happen whin dawgs ged uppity. Howebber, dawgs an catz must wearn dere pwace inna Warren higher-archy, an dere pwace happins to be atta bottom.

Belinda Bunny, our belubbed Top Bunny an Inkwish Spot who weft us forda Raibow Bridge, taught me alla stuff I needed to know aboud protektin whut's ours, an now I will pass it on to alla you. So wisten up.

We heer at Our Warren gots a stoopit Border Collie dawg named Marc (or Mark, dunno which). He is bwack an white wike me. Belinda god him part-twained bifore she weft forda Rainbow Bridge, so he knows dat snufflin bunnies is nod allowed. An bein bwighter den most dawgs, dis Border Collie also hassa emmagynashun. Dis is cos he has 'sperienced Belinda.

Now Belinda allus sed twainin dawgs is alla aboud Timmy-Dayshun. It's not whut dey know you kin do, bud more wike whut dey fink you mite do to dem dat keeps dem in wine. Dis is cos most dawgs hab an emmagynashun in dat ebben if dey don see or feel you doin sumfing to dem, dey can still gedda preddy good idea ob whut it's gonna be wike if you do do it to dem.

So whutta dawg werries aboud most is his nose. Dat's rite - da nose. Dis is mainly becus a dawg nose is wike a Dawg Guidance System. Take outta Guidence System anna dawg has no idea whut's goin on or whut's comin up next. Anna perfect fing is, datta whole Dawg Guidence System is hanging rite oud dere inna frunt obba whole dawg - an dawgs is basikly not god enny protekshun onna frunt end, but dat frunt end is whut guides da rest obba whole dawg.

So wet's say da Dawg has showed up jus whin your mawmie has gibbin you a tweat, wike whin our friend god his pear (or pair, or pare). An ob course, seein datta bunny has godda tweat, da Dawg 'sooms datta tweat is his/hers (cos dats whut dawgs do.)

Soda Dawg comes for your pear (or pare, or pair). You growl to show Intent. Dat's da Furst Step in Dealin Wif Dawgs: Show Intent. Don' be shy abouddit, cos dawgs don unnerstand or respek "shy", an afterall, dis is your tweat! Id was gibbin to you.

Now whut dawgs respek is strength. So you just shout it out: "Wookit, stoopit! *fump* Dis is my pare!" (don't add da udder bits aboudda "pair or pear" cos wif dawgs, you godda keep it simple.).

If da dawg don't gedda message (an chances are, da dawg won't cos dey rilly *are* stoopit), lunge. Anna dawg will pwobably keep on comin. I know Mark (or Marc) did when Belinda did dis to him. Nod getting da message issa dawg specialty.

So now you're down toda crunch time, an I'm nod kiddin. You godda get your timin rite heer an only hextperience is gonna teach you, but take your time, zero in onna nose - you'll find it's a preddy big target when it's comin at'choo - an stand your gwound. An den, just whenna dawg is aboud to gwab your snak - bang - you bite-release onna nose!

Now, bemember - bite-release. Don't just bite. If you jus bite and hold on, wike our Beebe-Bunny!! you can wind up upinnair wif all four paws offa gwound. Dis will put you atta auty-o-matic tactikle disadbantage. You gotta bite-release an keep alla paws onna gwound!

Now bemember dis, cos you're gonna need all four paws onna gwound if you needa go to Stage Two. An Stage Two issa a 180-Bink-Wif-Back-Kick-Toda-Nose, preferrably landed wif two back feets onna target, which is wunce agin, da Nose. Bud dis issa berry adbanced maneuber dat you habba be reel shure you kin land before you tries it. Pracktice it durin Bunny 500 games by habbin runs arounna walls an bouncin offa furnitchur. Your mawmies an daddas will fink you're bein cute bud onwy you enny obserbant Dawg will know dat you're practissin a high-speed martial-arts drill wif him assa intended target. If he'ssa relatibly switched on dawg, he'll gedda message.

Ushually, da Bite-Release Toda Nose will gib da dawg de idea dat whutebber you got is yours. Most dawgs will go away an compwain to Maman 'boudda nose hurtin. Den dey will aboid bunnies for awhile, but you kin bet dey will be back sayin dey wanna be friends. Now in Marc's (or Mark's) case, dis has preddy much werked, cos all he rilly wants to do is herd us, bud as Belinda told me, "Keep an eye on dis, cos we can't be habbin wif dis."

Oh, an wun obber fing - Maman is allus soopervizin da dawg. She sed dis is nessessarry cos dawgs shuld NEBBER be weft awone wif rabbits, NOT EBBER. In udder werds, I hab compweat permission to beet (or beat) da pooties outta da dawg, but he can't beet (or beat) on me. An Maman sed dat dissis fair, cossa whut Belinda told Marc (or Mark) inna beginnin: "Whut's your's is mine an whut's mine's me own." (She wearned dat frum hearin Dadda tawk in British Inkwish).

I hope dis helps alla you houzbunnies wearn to cope wif Stoopit Dawgs. Just bemember - an it'ssa Furst Admendmint inna Bunny Bill ob Rites - DA BUNNY IS ALLUS RITE!

Posted by Our Warren at 8:45 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 23 September 2004 8:47 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 15 September 2004
I Begin Agin/Lub Winns! - By George
Mood:  caffeinated
Well, Maman sed dat I have to stawt typin inna Blog ebbery day frum now on. She sed Belinda wuld 'spect it ob me, an I know she's rite aboud'dat, cos Belinda told me she 'spected sumbun to keep uppa Hay Diaries for hur when she left forda Rainbow Bridge. She sed dat wun ob us wuld feel da urge to type, an I guess dat sumbun is me, cos I amma wun dat is feelin fings an typin dem down.

Cos dis mornin, well, I am feelin preddy good. An I hab lerned sumfing 'portant, too, an Belinda sed dat dis issa kind ob fing dat I shuld type inna Hay Diaries - 'portant stuff.

So heer issa 'portant fing: Lub conkors all.

Keep dis in mind while I tell you how I commed to wearn it.

Hokay, dis is how my day stawted:

I god up, cos I amma Bonded Bunny now, an I hadda dwink ob wadder, an I had sum hay, wike Hunny sed I shuld, an den I hadda toss wiffa toy, an den I did a widdle gwoom on Missy's hed (cos dis is whutta good husbun does, she sed) just to show hur dat I care (cos I do. She's a wunnerful Missy!).

An den I wint ober nextest to da lattice an sed "Mornin" to Clover (cos I'mma gud neighbour), an I was jus'aboud to gib a neighbourly "Yo" to Beebe-Bunny!! (who is bonded to Clover), whin he sticks his nose fru da lattice an says to me,

"YO! Ged your paws offa my wommin."

An I'm wike, "Yo, Beeb."

Now you godda unnerstand dat Beeb don meen annyfing by dis "my wommin" stuff. He'ssa small bunny, bud he's older den me an he's got whut Maman calls "ishoos". Wun ob his ishoos is dat he finks alla gurl-buns inna Warren are his. Dis is nod troo, bud as Maman says, id's his fantasy, an normally, id don't hurt nobun, so wet him habbit.

You see, Maman says dees ishoos are nod Beebe's fault. Id has sumfing to do wiffa fakt dat (an dis is hard for me to unnerstand, so hang in dere wif me fora minit) whinna V-E-T wint to snatch da Beeb's berries, dere were udder bits in'im, so he's not 'zacktly a male or a female, he's confoozled frum his insides out. He's male sorta by agreemint, cos ackchually, da V-E-T just gibbed up an snatched not onwy da poor widdle guy's berries, bud ebberting else in dere, too. Maman sed Beeb'ssa "Troo Her-maf-fro-dite" which is berry rare an speshul, bud which also makes him wun big Pain Inna Rear Sekshuns, cos he finks he'ssa Super Boy-Bun an alla gurl-bunnies are bonded to him.

Ennyways, Maman sed I hab to be nice to him onna'kount ob dis stoopit idea ob his issn't rilly his idea so much as it issa "ishoo" which issn't his fault. Or sumfing.

Hunny says, "Bugger dat fora game ob soldjers." an calls him "Yoboy." bud poor old Hunny has bin kinda onna grumpy side since Belinda wint toda Bridge. Maman sed Hunny needs to be more "Chair-it-table" an Hunny says, "Bugger dat, too."

Mouse sed dat, no madder whut Maman says, I hab to uphold my manhood, whutebber dat meens.

So heer we are dis mornin. An I'm nod doin ennyfing in partikular, an suddenwy, Beebe comes innu Missy an my habbytat!

An I'm wike, "Yo Beeb. Whut'ssup?"

An heer he is, wookin up at me sayin, "I'mma berry BIG rabbit an I'm gonna beet your butt for touchin MY wommin!"

An Missy is wike, "Oh Pleeeeeeeezh!"

An I'm finkin, "Uh oh."

An den Missy hollars out, "Hey Clober! He's ober heer agin!"

An Clover *fumps* wif her big back foot (an she's gots nice wuns, wike Missy, but Clover hassa Sexy Rexy toes), an she yells, "Beebe-Bunny, get your widdle round white butt back inn'ere!"

An it's wike Beebe can't heer hur, cos he standin dere facin me, all puffed out, twyin to wook twice his normal small size.

An he growls ad me, "George, dis issa wast straw! I'm gonna show you who issa Top Bun in dis Warren."

Well, I'm wike, surprised, wike. Cos ebberybunny inna Warren knows datta onwy Top Bun in Our Warren ebber was Belinda, an when she left to go toda Bridge to be wif Hawthorn, Hunny taked ober, bud he's berry old an tired an he don' much wike Top Bunnin enny more. He's onwy doin it cos he says dere is nowun else t'do it. Bud some nights he fortygeds to doda rounds, an udder nights, he says he don feel wike it, an he doesn't sort out enny pwoblems so much as he tells us not to hab dem. Inna way, you can't blame him. He's thirteen yeers old an he's bin Top Bun an retired, an now he hasta go back to doin it. It's not fair on him, rilly.

But Mouse says he's nod reddy to be Top Bun onna'count ob he's too noo toda Warren, an I'm too young an not 'Tellygint enuf to beda Top Bun, an none obba gurls wanna be Top Bun, an Beebe, well, Beebe issa few strands short obba full bale ob hay onna'count ob his "ishoos". So we kinda do an don't habba Top Bun, bud it shur as heck issn't Beebe.

So I was kinda 'sprised whin Beebe sed he was gonna show me he was takin ober assa Top Bun.

Bud I didn habba whole wotta time to be susprised, cos while I was still doin it, Beebe sorta popped uppina air an wanded on my hed!

So I shook my hed an he falled off.

An I wooked at him an sed, "Maman sed I can't hurt you."

An Clover calls out fru da lattice, "Yeah don hurt him. Dat's my job."

Now I know Clover didn' meen dat jus dat way, but she's Beebe's wife-bun, an she does gen'rally manage to keep him frum doin any rilly, seriouswy stoopid fings, wike bitin Dadda. Howebber, she can't keep him frum doin alla stoopit fings he takes innu his hed to do. An jus at dis momint, he was inna middul ob habbin a rilly stoopit idea an she culdn't stop it.

So Beeb takes anudder rush ad me, an Clover *fumps* an so does Missy. An Mouse, hearin da commoshun, he stawts wif a *fump*, too, onwy, he's god widdle feets, so it's nod much obba *fump*, bud preddy serious for alla dat. Hunny, bein deaf assa doorstop, is still 'sleep wif Poet.

An Beebe pops up inna air, jumps ober me an wands onna top ob Missy.

Well, Missy's a Big Gurl. An she's da panicky type. So don't she jus panick an go runnin aroun in cirkuls, shoutin,


Wif Beebe clingin on to hur butt tighter denna tick.

At which point, she runs innu me, anna free ob us go down inna pile ob paws, fur, wegs, toys, ears, hay, butts an hebbin knows whut else.

An den dere issa mad scramble.

An whin I ged up, I'm wearin Beebe on my hed agin.

An I'm finkin to myself: "Dis has godda stop."

Bud Maman won't wet us bite. She has god "ROOLZ" abouddit an you don go bweakin Maman's Roolz or she says you won' ebber see anudder tweat forda "restob your widdle wife" (which is preddy serious). Now Hunny says dis is nod troo, dat he's bwokin ebbery Rool Maman's ebber made an den sum, an he still geds alla tweats he wants, bud I'm nod takin chances.

So whut's a peace-lubbin bunny todo? An it's troo, I amma lubber, nodda fighter. Maman sed so. She allus sayin dat I'mma lubber. An Maman is also allus sayin dat lub conkors all.

Luckily, I bemembered dat while I was wearin Beebe wike a hat.

So I shook Beebe off my hed, an gwabbed hold obb'em - an bememberin whut Maman had sed, I hugged him.

Yes, I hugged Beebe wike he was my dearest fwiend. Wike he was my dawling widdle brudder. Wike be was my sweetie-pie angel bunny. I hugged him, an hugged him, an hugged him sum more...

An den Dadda comed innu da Bun Room.

An Beebe calls out, "YO! I GODDIT,Dad! I'm WINNIN'."

So I hugged him sum'more, jus to be onna safe side.



An Beeb is now goin step by step wif me huggin him, towards his own habbytat.

An Mouse is shoutin, "Bite his butt! Bite his butt!"

An den Hunny calls out, "Will you guys shut up? I'm twyin to sleep ober heer! Hab sum hay an knock dis stuff off!"

An den I heer sum skufflin aroun in his habbytat, an den he shouts agin, "Whut? George is gonna bite sumbun's butt? Bugger! I godda see dis."

An now Mouse is jumpin up an down in his habbytat, yellin, "Bit his butt! Bite his butt!"

An I'm huggin Beebe, alla time bememberin whut Maman sed: "Lub conkors all."

An den I seed Dadda's hand reach down an Beebe goes up, an I falls offa Beeb an lands *spwaat* onna floor.

An Dadda says, "Dat's enuf, George."

An he wooks at Beebe, who's siddin on his hand, nod ebben twyin to struggle, an he says, "You hadda'nuff, Beebe?"

An Beebe wooks up at Dadda an mudders, "Yo."

So Dadda puds Beebe back innu his own habbytat an Clover stawts wickin his ears an I kin heer hur say, "Who's mawmie's stpopit widdle man?"

An Dadda says to'im, "Well, dat'll wearn ya, ya daft widdle sod."

An Hunny finally *fumps* wif his furry back foots an calls oud, "Bugger!I MISSED IT!"

An as I'm wyin dere, I finks to myself, "You know, George, Maman is rite: Lub does conkor all. Ebben Ishoos."

Posted by Our Warren at 9:54 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 1 September 2004
Small Bunnies - By George
Mood:  quizzical

I am sorry dat I hab bin away fur awhile. Dis is Maman's fault (issn't ebberyfing?). She has bin rilly, rilly sik an twyin to hide it, wikea good bunny shuld. As she sed to me da udder day,

"Nebber, ebber wet dem see a weaknis."

Yeah, well, she is rite aboud dat. Cos when you is prey, anna whole werld is fulla preddytors, showin a weaknis is jus pwain stoopit.

Bud, den, in dis werld, you also god your "Protecktors". Maman has Dadda, who is alla'boud protecktin. Mainwy, he's godda proteckt hur frum hurself, cos as Belinda noted elsewhere inna Blog, Maman can ged hurself innu a werld ob trubble wifoud ebben finkin aboudd'it (well, whut Belinda sed wassat Maman doesn't fink wike udder hoomins fink, which is howcome she can ged innu a werld ob trubble all on hur own, wiffoud requirin enny help frumma rest ob us.).

Now, Dadda is your basik Good Protecktor. He is, furst ob all, BIG. Speshully when you are sittin onna floor, wookin up (or as Belinda wuld say, "Frum wun fut offa gwound.").

Bud nod alla Portecktors inna werld are big, wike Dadda. In fact, whut I hab noticed issat a wotta da rilly woud, rilly b'lligerant, self-'pointed Protecktors in Our Warren are kinda onna (forgib me for noticin') small side.

You take Mouse.

Now Mouse issa normal Netherlands Dwarf. Small, over-all gen'rally round shape; pointed, Tellygint ears an' neet feets.

Butta good fing aboud Mouse issat Mouse knows dat he is small. He knows dat he is small, but dat he is also one fast, tough, persistant widdle Muther-Ob-All-Battles.

Mouse's habbytat is rite by da door an he Keeps An Eye Out alla time, an he knows when to *thump* an when not to *thump*, an he knows da rite way to conduct a Pooty-War an alla dat stuff.

Belinda sed dat Mouse issa "Cwassik Adbersaryul Male" an I shuld wearn stuff frum him aboud Honnur an Bunny'tude in order to become a truly 'Tellygint Bunny.

An den you take BeeBe-Bunny!! Please!

Now Beeb issa "Cwassic Idjit", Belinda sed. Maman says dat he has "Issues". Dadda calls him "See'ere-Sunshine" an keeps sayin dey are gonna habba "fallin-oud", whutebber dat is.

Hunny says BeeBe issa'boud twelbe pounds ob pooties inna four pound bag ob fur, an Mouse sed if we wet da hot air out ob him, da Bun Room wuld float.

Ennyways, BeeBe issa Hot-Tot, a breed ob bunny dat hassa widdle white body wif widdle black ears an widdle black rings around his eyes, anna widdle black tail. Cute guy; weighs aboud four pounds, mostly teef.

Budda fing is, BeeBe finks, in fackt, he's rilly possytib dat he issa RILLY HUGE rabbit.

An he finks dat he shuld own ebbryfing inna Bun Room.

An he finks dat he shuld own alla gurl bunnies in Our Warren.

An he finks dat he issa Top Bun in Our Warren, too.

An he finks dat he is bigger, an badder, an gen'rally sus'perior to Dadda an kin beat Dadda's butt enny time he wants.

Which is sum seriously stoopit finkin, if you axt me.

So I wooked down at BeeBe da udder day, an I sed, "Hey, Beeb."

An he sed, "YO!"

An I sed, "So, wike, whut's up wif dis bein a seriously huge rabbit an all, when I'm bigger den you are, an when eidder Clover - which is your wife-bun, or my wife-bun, Missy - culd sit on you an make you dissypear? I mean, if you're so big, all free ob us are bigger den you, den howcome you fink you're such a big rabbit?"

An BeeBe wooked at me fora sekond, an den bwinked. Den he did a widdle half-binky, growled, cirkuled bak an sed, "Cos I am."

An I sed, "Am, whut?"

An he sed, "In real life, I amma berry BIG rabbit!"

An I'm wike, "Well, hokay. Dat's your story." an went off to hab sum hay, cos Hunny says dat helps you to cwear your hed obba non-sense dat normally geds innu it.

Bud I'm still wonderin abouddit. Because I hear dere are udder small bunnies who seem to habba same conbikshuns dat BeeBe has - dat dey are HUGE, TOUGH, ALPHA-RAMBO-NINJA-BUNNY rabbits, when dey are rilly small, fluffy, cute-wookin bundles ob toofs an fur wif rotten atty'tudes. An yet, dere are seriously HUGE, STRONG, GIANT RABBITS dat habba personalwity ob cuddlebuns.

So go figger. Cos it beats da heck outta me!

Posted by Our Warren at 12:41 PM EDT
Thursday, 26 August 2004
Bloggin - By George
Mood:  chatty

Well. (Dis is my werd.)

Now dat I am readin da noospapers on-wine wif Maman inna mornin, I am geddin 'Tellygint. Maman sed dat it will bea slooow process. She says ebberyfing issa "process": fwowers do nod jus opin wiffa "pop" an bunnies do nod jus wake up alla suddin 'Tellygint. It happins ober time, a widdle bit heer anna widdle bit dere, an den, bifore you know it, you turn aroun, an wow-wook-atta-dat! you're all gwowed up an 'Tellygint.

So I am gonna stop twyin to waid to become 'Tellygint an jus ged to werk onnit.

An I'm stawtin wif usin my own werd "Well" insted ob usin Belinda's werd "So". Bud Maman sed I kin still use Belinda's werd, as long as I "attwibbyboot" my source. I allus habba bemember to do dat. Whin you attwibbyboot a source, dat meens dat you say who did it bifore you did, so dat if dey screwed up, you don ged blamed for it - an if dey done good, you can't take alla credit cos you didn't doda werk.

Seems fair to me.

So. I mean, Well. ("So" is Belinda's werd. "Well" is mine.)

I thought dat tiday I wuld 'splain "Bloggin". I hadda lern 'boud it since I'm doin it.

Bloggin is short werds for "Web-log", which means typin inna on-line journal.

Yup, dat's it. Myst'ry solbed. By George.

Inna noospapers, a wotta hoomins are parentwy typin in blogs cossa 'Publican Nashunal Conbenchun is gonna be comin to Noo Yawk Near Us.

Maman helped me to finda werd "Publican" inna dickshunary. It means a "landlord" or "keeper obba pubwick houz". Oh, an "Pubwick" means hoomins ob all kinds.

Maman sed datta most publicans keep pubs. She was nod payin much 'tenshun to whut I was sayin, so I hopped down offa her lap an wint to axt Dadda boudda pubs.

Dadda is frum Inkwand an Dadda tawks boudda pubs where he commed frum. It seems dat Inkwand hassa wotta pubs, so I guess dat dey hab publicans, too. I guess dey also hab conbenchuns, since it seems a hoomin fing todo.

Now Dadda sumtimes tawks aboud when he was younger inna Unnybersity, he god innu "pub-brawls" which wuld be your basik fites. He sed dere wassa wotta dat happinin in pubs. He sed he don do dat now cos he is nod inna Unnybersity an he don dwink (which issa fib, cos he dwinks a wotta stuff called "tee".)

Bud its hokay, cos inna unnybersity guys tend to fite wike me an Beebe - call a few names, take a few bops, pull sum fur, an den it's ober.

He sed most obba landlords wuld frow you oud whin you fite, jus wike he allus pulls me an Beebe apart whin it wooks wike we is gonna stawt sumfing. Maman sed Beebe an I cannot be twusted cos Beebe an I are jus pwain Stoopit Aboud Sum Fings. Whutebber. I say dat if he is gonna sneek innu my habbytat, I don wike it, an he says he kin sneek in whenebber he feels wike it if I wike it or nod. Fing is, it's my habbytat, rite?

Well. Maman sed we godda shut uppaboud it cos she don hold wif fitin. I guess Maman issa landlord or sumfing, bud she sed she wuldn't go to enny conbenchuns cos she haddit wif Noo Yawk yeers ago, an too menny hoomins gaddered togedder in wun pwace make her skert.

Bud if dere issa conbenchun ob landlords, I wuld guess dat dey wuld ged togedder to talk aboudda ways ob frowin oudda young guys frumma Unnybersity (Note: a hoomin pwace to ged 'Tellygint - attwibbybooted to Dadda) who ged inna stoopid fites dat don meen ennyfing, wike me an Beebe.


Hokay, so Maman sed dat dere will be wotta hoomins typin blogs aboud dis stuff, jus wike a wotta hoomins typed a wotta blogs aboudda demmykatik conbenchun, which is (I guess) whenna wotta "Demmys" (gotta wook dat up) got togedder sumwheres (wook dat up, too) to do sumfing (wook dat up).

So (Attwibbybooted to Belinda who usta say it alla time, but it's hokay, I kin use it.).

Whut it wooks wike to me issat a wotta hoomins are gonna do a wotta typin aboutta fightin inna pubs by a wotta young guys.

Sumhow, I don seeda point.

I meen, mebbe I'm nod berry 'Tellygint yet, bud I wuld raffer type aboud raisins, an nanners an bondin an makin holes an stuff dat I wike radder den type aboudda wotta young hoomins habbin fites in pubs ober nuffin. Sure, guys ged innu fites. It's wunna da fings dat happins before you ged 'Tellygint an wearns stuff wike "Patience" an "Whin to Shut Up". Dadda sed dat stuff comes wif Age an da hextperience ob geddin tired ob pikkin yourself up offa floor, or da hextperience ob geddin tired ob puttin frozin veggies onna eye (I'm nod shure abouddis wun.). Ennyway, Dadda says "You gwow outta it."

So I guess you gwow outta typin abouddit, too. Or at weast I do.

I wuld radder wook outta windor an see da werld go by, or watch da cwoulds chase each udder acrosst da sky.

Publicans an Demmykats. I dunno. Mebbe I've outgwown dat stuff. Id happins when you ged 'Tellygint.

Posted by Our Warren at 7:34 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 24 August 2004
Tinkers Bubble - By George
Mood:  chatty

Belinda sed dat I needed to become 'Tellygint. Now Belinda wassa berry 'Tellygint bunny, an she usta go downnastairs wif Maman to reeda noospapers onna WerldWideWeb ebbery mornin. Den she wuld sometimes write aboud whut she lerned inna noospapers in hur Blog, which is dis fing dat I am typin in.

So. (Belinda usta type dis)

Tiday I axted Maman if I culd come downnastairs wif hur to reeda noospapers wif hur, jus wike Belinda.

An Maman sed, "Hokay." An piked me up an we wint downnastairs toda 'puter to reeda noospapers togedder.

So I sat on Maman's lap an cos I dunno howta reed, Maman reeded to me. So we was reedin inna noospaper called "Da Guardian On-Line" which comes frum Inkwand where Maman usta lib an where Dadda comes frum.

An Maman sed, "Wisten George, dere issa pwace in Somerzet in Inkwand where Dadda commed frum, and sum pipple dere hab builded a farm called 'Bubble'."

An I finked, "Sounds nice. Berry friendly, pwace called 'Bubble'. Means dat dey are bizzy wike bubbles inna pot, an I'm a bizzy bunny. Means dat da pwace just rides onna surface ob fings, an I'm all for dat. Bubbles also can burst, bud we'll see how dis werks oud."

An Maman wint on: "An 'Bubble' issa hextperimental community built to see if pipple can lib togedder wiffout using oil or fossil fuels. Cossa werld is runnin outta cheap fuel to run machines, runna cars, runna hareplanes, an to probide heat an wight." Den she wooked at me an sed, "Nuffin wasts forebber. We are runnin outta oil an rite now oil is whut permits humans to lib as dey do, Babby. Assa speeshees, we hoomins kin manipulate our environment cos we hab oil. Da rise obba Industrial Rebbelooshun is built onna back ob fossil fuel."

An I sed, "Oh." Cos I dunno whutdaheck she's tawkin aboud. Dis issa pawt ob bein 'Tellygint where Belinda had me beet. Cos Belinda knowed.

An Maman wint on: "An so sum pipple in Inkwand where Dadda commed frum made a farm dat did not use enny oil. Dey called da farm 'Bubble'. Dey had sum cows anna horse."

An I thought, "Sounds good. Horses are just big bunnies wif underpowered bwains."

An Maman sed, "An dey builded houzes dat used wood to keep da pipple warm an to cook dere food. Dis mada pollytishuns mad. Anna pollytishuns wanted da pipple to stop usin wood, which issa renewable resorce, an to use gas or oil to cook dere food. Dey cited LAWS dat sed you can't burn wood, but you kin burn udder stuff, like oil or gas, in order to cook food. Onwy Big Compinies build houzes wif oil, 'lektrik an gas burnin stobes inn'em. Bud if you build your own houz an burn wood, which is renewable, den you aren't alloud. Hmmm..."

Whin Maman says "Hmmmm..." wike dat, she is finkin.

Den Maman reeded sum more. An she said, "An den da pollytishins sed datta milk, cheese an butter frumma cows at Bubble couldn't be sold atta markit cos it was made da old-fashioned way, wiffout using oil or gas to heet it to certain tempychurs. LAWS dat effectibwy prebent enny small-holder frum makin cheese or butter an sellin it cos dey won't habba 'Quipmint datta big Dairy Compinies hab. Soda Big Dairy Companies keep alla bizniz."

An Maman sed, "Hmmm..." agin.

An den she thought sum more, an sed, "George?"

An I sed, "Whut?"

An she axted me, "Whut'cha fink?"

An I thought, "Uh oh, dis is just wike Belinda! Bud Belinda usta habba 'Pinion on Ebberyting! She wassa 'Tellygint Bunny an I am nod! Now whut?"

An den I thought, "Hang on dere, Berry Boy - THINK! You kin do it! Belinda didn't say you was stoopid, she sed you needed to ged 'Tellygint, which are two dif'frunt fings. Stoopid means you don't godda hope, but 'Tellygint means using whut'cha got."

So I finked reel hard and den I sed,

"Hokay, whut I fink is dis: Hoomins are 'mazingly stoopid, bud sumtimes dey kin be 'mazinly smawt, too. So I fink da Big Compinies needa werk outta nudder rewable resource inna hurry an nod be greedy to squeeze ebberyfing dey kin outta fossil fuels. Da Big Compinies wook wike dinosaurs to me. Dey are fat, dum an runnin in cirkuls twin to keep ebberyting da same. Da dinosaurs was fat, dum an dey runned in cirkuls twyin to pwetend nuffin was happinin dat was bad, and den dey runned outta time. Soda wesson heer seems wike 'Don bea dinosaur.' I fink dat's preddy cleer. Soda ansur is also preddy cleer: Gedda noo idea an geddit Quick. Stay ahed obba die-off an ged in onna rebirf."

Den I wooked up at Maman an sed, "Hozzat?"

An Mamn sed, "You're doin good, Widdle Bunny. I fink you shuld be writin forda "Guardian" noospaper."

So. (As Belinda usta say.)

Dat's where we are dis mornin. Maman's still readin da noospapers, but I godda raisin, which issa renewable resource.

Dis 'Tellygint fing might just werk out.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:28 AM EDT
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Sunday, 22 August 2004
Da Windors Is Opin - By George
Mood:  happy

Tiday wassa nice day! Da sun was out. Da breeze (which has bin missin-in-akshun forda wast few days) was bwowin...

Dadda an Maman commed innu da Bun Room early bifore church an opined ALLA WINDORS inna Bun Room! An whut windors dere was! Dere is just windors ebberwhere inna werld if you just wooks for'dem, just wike Belinda said!

She sed: "Da werld is so fulla number of fings, dat I'm shure we shuld all be as hoppy as Kings. Sum guy writed dat an id is troo, widdle bunny, George."

An she is RITE!

Da werld is fulla windors ! I know becos I hab smelled dem tiday whin Maman an Dadda opined alla our windors. Now I know why hoomins calla gwass fings inna wall "windors" - cos whin dey is opin, alla windors inna werld kin come inside!

An wemme tell you, da smells - OH DA SMELLS dat commed in! Commin in onna breezes!

Whut was commin inna windors was winderous!

Missy an I jus sat in our habbytats, noses goin "twenty-fibe toda dozzen" as Hunny said.

Bud whut smells!

Well, lemme tell you whut was goin on inna neighbourhood! Dere was so much!

Sumbun was mowin dere lawn. I know, cos I smelled it!

Sumbun else was paintin. I fink it was Maman an Dadda, cos I could heer dem tawkin togedder an dey was waffin an tawkin. An do you know whut? I heered Dadda tawkin aboud'da guy anna cellyphone onna twain, an he was tawkin to Maman, an den I heered Manan go,

"Whoops!" an she stawted waffin.

An I heered Dadda say, "So I dwopped da broosh inna paint! So whut? Tell ennywun you wan, but just don' tell Phil!"

An Maman sed, "Well, who am I gonna tell? Silly boy!" an I fink she musta wicked him onna hed, cos I heered him waff.

Hoomins is funny dat way. Dey don't wick wike we do. Dey make a *smack* sound dat I can't make, an Missy wuld *bop* me wiff'er paws if I did!

An den I heered a guitar acrosst da stweet (bud dey don pway as gud as Phil-da-Lad!) an den I heered da kidwets frum nextest store go by onna tick-tick-tick montin-bikes. An den I heered a tinkwy song inna air!

An I heered Maman say, "If dat Ice-creem man don't gedda noo song, I'm gonna stwangle him."

So I knowed it wassa ice-creem truck comin!

Anna song pwayed, and pwayed, an pwayed, and drowned oud alla udder songs...

An den it went downnastreet, an den I heered da birdies, an Jamie who libs nextest door callin her kidlets to come innu da houzez, cos id is geddin a widdle bid chilly, anna sun is goin down anna shadows is geddin wonger an wonger heer inna Bun Room. Soon it will be nite, I fink.

So Missy an I are cuddled up, an so are Hunny an Poet an Beebe an Clover... Bud I feel a widdle sad for Mouse, cos he is nod bonded wike we are. Mebbe he wuld be more friendwy if he hadda bondmate... ora mawmie... or sumfing... sumbun besides toys anna haypile. Belinda is rite, dat dere issa wot more toa bunny wife denna pile ob hay anna pwate ob salad. Dere are smells, anna sunshine, an fwiends...

So mebber Maman or Dadda will come uppastairs soon an cwose our windor for tinite, an turn onna Wight, cos id is a widdle cool now anna sounds are preddy much all gone anna smells are just obba stweet anna gwass onna wawn... inna werld fulla windors.

Posted by Our Warren at 7:04 PM EDT
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Wednesday, 18 August 2004
Whin A Bunny Gets No Sleep - By George
Mood:  crushed out

Whut issa madder wif hoomins? Dey don't seem to know 'boud sweep... er, sleep. Closin eyes an restin' inna dawk an quiet - which seems to be atta preemium aroun heer.

I mean, heer are da bunnies, all in dere habbytats. We hab our food, our hay, our wadder and we hab had tweats.

Well, nod enuf tweats, bud dere are nebber enuf tweats, you know?

Ennyways...., I meen, SO - as Belinda - yeah, you know whut Belinda usta say.


We are in our habbytats an id is dawk. So we are goin to go t'sweep.

Maman an Dadda go innu dere Room-Nextest-Door an I heer Maman ged innu da bed. Den I heer Dadda ged innu da bed.

So far, so gud.

Den da wight on Dadda's side goes oud. Id geds a widdle bit dawker inna Bun Room. Den Maman's wight goes oud. Id geds a widdle bid dawker inna Bun Room.

Den alla suddin, da wight inna hallway goes on.


"Ummm, sorry."

Wight goes oud. It was Phil an he fortygedded aboud turnin onna wight.

So he comes uppastairs an turns onna bafroom wight.

Bun Room geds bwight.

Poet stands up an falls ober hur tin cup, so Hunny says, "Shaddup, woomin! I'm twyin t'sweep!"

An Missy frows a toy. Well, doesn't dat just bonk offa side obba habbytat just above Beebe's hed.

So he shouts, "YO!"

An Mouse *Fumps*.

So den I heer da bed inna Room-Nestest-Toda-Bun-Room creak an I heer Dadda go, "OUCH! Whut wassat for?"

An Maman goes, "Whut?"

An Missy frows her toy agin an hits me onna hed. An I'm wike, "HEY! Whut wassat for?"

An Missy says, "Cos."

An Hunny *Thumps*.

So den Phil comes outta da bafroom an shuts oud dat wight. An I heer Maman say, "Will you PWEASE gota bed?"

An Phil says, "Shur. Nite, Mom." An turns onna wight inna hallway.

An Mouse *THUMPS*, bud harder dis time.

An Phil says, "Opps. Habit. Sorry." Anna wight goes off an Phil goes off downnahall.

So now it's dawk agin inna Bun Room.

Den I heer Da Fat Cat come climbin uppastairs. He goes innu Maman an Dadda's Room-Nestest-Door-To-Ours.

Da bed creaks an I heer Da Fat Cat say, "I'm hooooongry."

An I heer Maman say, "Oh no you don't."

Den I heer a *FUMP* an id issn't a rabbit. Id's da sound obba Fat-Cat hittin da floor.

So den a widdle waiter, I heer Dadda say, "Buggerit." Anna bed creaks, an Dadda shuffles oud innu da hall.

An Hunny says, "Buggerdis." an shuffles ober to a corner where he can't see da wight frumma bafroom dat is now on agin.

An Beebe shouts, "YO!" cos it seems wike da fing to do an frows a BellBall.

So I frow wunna da barrels in heer in Missy an my habbytat just tobe soshuhable-wike.

Bud Dadda sicks his hed inna Bun Room door an says, "Will you buggers keep it down in heer?"

Den I heer Phil's door opin downnahall. An he calls oud,

"Did sumwun call me?"

An Dadda calls back, "Onwy if your name is 'Bugger'."

An Phil says, "Oh."

An Maman says, "If you two don gota sweep..." Bud she doesn't finish offa sentence. She jus sorta wet's it hang inna air wike sum kinda threat...

Den Dadda goes downnastairs an I heer da tea-keddle makin noise.

Well, by dis time, dere is wight aroun alla winders inna Bun Room.

An I'm finkin, You know, I habbin't bin to bed yet.

An Missy geds up, an she stretches an den puds hur big ol' hed down for me to wick, an I jus sort ob wooks at hur, wike, "Are you nutz?" an goes off fru da Hole to my side obba habbytat.

Cos I know dat id is day outside, bud I'm tellin you - I'M TIRED!

Posted by Our Warren at 12:17 PM EDT
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Tuesday, 17 August 2004
Rewayshunships - By George
Mood:  surprised

So. (As Belinda wiked to type.)

Dis is whut habbin a wife-bun issa'boud.

I'm heer on my side obba habbytat, wookin oud atta hallway. Missy is on hur side cos she can't fit fru da Hole.

We godda wotta hay aroun deer, sum on my side obba habbytat an sum on hur side. She says datta hay on my side tastes bedder denna hay on hur side an I'm sposed to be ober heer pushin da hay fru frum heer to dere.

Yeah. Hokay. Well.

So. (As Belinda usta say.)

I'm siddin heer wookin oud onna hallway. Maman an Dadda was jus heer, bud now dey are gone downnastairs. Howebber Maman was sneezin an wookin all bedraggled in hur purple sweatshirt dat issa'boud free times too big fur hur an hangs down aroun her nees, an Dadda wooks all sharp in his soot, an collar an tie, cos he wuz goin toda "werk" fingie. An Maman was shufflin aroun inna bloo slippers an Dadda was stridin an stompin in his bwack "Oxferds" dat hassa yummy-wookin laces on'em.

An Dadda wooks atta Maman an says dat she issa "Boot'full wady."

An I'm wookin an finkin, "Buddee, you needs your gwasses on." An den I notice dat he's wearin dem.

An den I'm finkin, "Waidaminit. He's nod wookin at'ter wiff'is eyes. Or mebbe he iswookin at'ter wiff'is eyes, bud he's not wookin at hur wiff'is eyes."

If you you know whut I meen.

Wike wast nite.

Maman comed innu da Bun Room an wooked at Missy an sed, "Missy, you hairball. Wook at your backside."

An so I wooked at Missy's backside, an I finked, "Yup, preddy nice wun."

An Maman's dere shakin hur hed in dissypproval at Missy's backside. So I wooked at Missy's butt agin, an den I seed whut Maman was tawkin aboud - dere was sum woose hairs dat needs mebbe to be brooshed. But whut's a few woose hairs? Da gurl is sheddin. Big deel! So whut? We all sheds! Id's pawt ob bein a bunny. An id has nuffin tado wif how preddy or nod preddy Missy is. When I wook ad Missy I see da mostest lubly bun-inna-werld. Id's da ober-all 'feckt obba round, boot'full bunny-gurl. My bun-wife. Missy.

As Dadda says, "Id issn't da package, it's whut's inside."

Id's wookin at whut is dere by wookin fru. If you know whut I meen. Seein, bud nod wiffa eyes, mebbe - or issit seein wiffa inner eyes? Or seein wiffa eyes shutted? How aboud seein wiffoud eyes!

So I kin see wiffoud my eyes!

So. (As Belinda ustas type when she'd lerned sumfing.)

I just now wooked fru da Hole an told dis to Missy. She bwinked an pushed hur nose fru furdder an sed, "So gwoom me, hokay?"

So I did. Bud onwy a cuple ob wicks, cos I'm still finkin aboud dis noo discobbery.

I kin see wiffoud eyes!

So dis is why Maman is boot'ful in hur purple sweatshirt an bloo slippers, an why Missy hassa perfekt butt ebben wiffa sheddin fur.

An dis is why Goofy Ol' Poet is preddy when she binkies an wands on Poor Owd Hunny's hed, an why Clober is motherwy-sweet ebben doh she is 'mazinwy fat, an why Beebe is cute when he's twyin to be bun-ninja an shouts, "YO!", an why Mouse is just so 'doryable ebben doh he's rite now gibbin me da RBB an sayin,

"Watchit, Berry Boy. Cos whin I ged outta here, I'll show you 'doryable' on your fuzzy, fat hed."

Oh. Whooops.

Hmmm. So (As Belinda usta say, buyin time...)

I fink mebbe seein wif bof sorts ob eyes, da inner anna oudder eyes, is going to be a good idea...

Oh an I habba noo song:
Pushin sum hay...
I'm pushin sum hay...
Pushin sum hay fru to Miss-ee!
I'm pushin sum hay...
Pushin sum hay...
Pushin sum hay fru to Miss-ee...

Posted by Our Warren at 12:46 PM EDT
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Monday, 16 August 2004
I hab seed da HURRY-CANE - by George
Mood:  caffeinated

Id came an id went an id is gone - da HURRY-CANE. I amma sur-bi-bor houzrabbit.

Yup, I hab bin inna HURRY-CANE an discobbered it was nuffin budda wotta rain. Hunny sed it culd hab bin a wotworser, bud it wassn't. He sed dat HURRY-CANES are funny fings in dat dey are wike hoomins: You kin nebber tell whin wun obb'em is gonna turn oud to be a reel stinker jus frumma'pearances.

So. (As Belinda usta say.)

We are fine at Our Warren. Maman is still sik. I am still bonded to Missy. Beebe is still geddin usta da idea. Poet is fine, Hunny is still callin me "Berry-boy" an Mouse is predictin dat I am gonna go toda V-E-Ts berry soon. I dunno why, cos I'm feelin preddy gud, to tell you da troof.

Wast nite, Missy showed me aboud Toys.

Now, Maman is preddy big on gibbin us bunnies "toys" to pway wif. She finks we gets bored bein on our own inna Bun Room sumtimes, so she goes outta her way to find stuff to pud innu our habbytats wif us. Mostwy dis jus creates cwutter, an, inna Owd Folks case, fings dat dey kin fall ober, bud dat's our Maman - allus helpful, just nod "too switched on" as Belinda usta say.

Bud Missy was trundlin aroun da Habbytat as onwy she kin trundle, an she found dis barrel-shaped fing dat rattles. It was wedged unn'neaf obba pooty-box where we haddn' seed it alla day. So she piked it up in hur teefs an gabe it a shake ob hur hed.

It flied ober hur shoulder an wanded nextest to me wiffa *bang*. Well, I jumped up'inna air cos id surprized me.

Whin I camd down, I wooked attit. Den I wooked at hur.

"Well, go on." She sed.

An I wooked attit sum more, den I piked it up an gabe it a shake.

It was preddy hebby, so it flew outt my mouf an wanded *bang* beside Missy.

An she sed, "Not bad." An piked it uppa'gin. She gibbed it anudder shake an it floo outta her teef an bonked me onna hed.

Well, dis was becomin anna'noyance, wemme tell you. So I waid my eers down flat an piked da fing up an hurled wun back att'er - bud while I wasn't wookin, she'd gone an found anudder toy, a widdle smaller wun, budda same kinda fing, dat was hidin unnerneaf da wadder crock - an didn't she jus pik dat wun up while I was pikin up dis wun an gib it a shake an send it flyin at me!

Well, you know, dees fings eskee-wate - an Maman has gibbin ebberybun summa dees "toys".

So while Missy an I are hextchanginn Flyin Barrells, nextest fing I kin heer issa sound ob BellBalls frumma habbytat nextest to us, which bewongs to Clober an Beebe.

An I heer Beebe shout, "YO!" anna sound obba BellBall hittin da lattice-werk wall. An den I heer, "INCOMING!" anna sound obba'nudder BellBall hittin da lattice-werk. An dere's da sound ob Clober scramblin to hur feets. Den dere's da sound ob Beeb slammin innu da corner.

Den I heer Poet or Hunny (can't tell which wun) fallin ober dere TinCup.

An den I heer Hunny say, "Bugger." Anna wotta shufflin aboud goin on in dere habbytat.

Den Missy bonks me onna hed wiffa'nudder barrel, so I pik uppa nearest wun an frow it back att'er.

Den DaddyBrian suddinwy shows up atta Bun Room door.

An he calls Maman, ob course, an dey come in an DaddyBrian says,

"Whuttaheck are you all on aboud?"

An Maman (who, as ushual, hasn' godda cloo) says, "Aww, wook, Brian, Missy's teachin George howta pway wif toys!"

Den she says, "I'll bet dey want more!"

So. (As Belinda usta type.)

Dis mawnin, Maman comes innu da Bun Room wiffa whole arms full ob short cawdboard toobs.

Which she dumps innu our habbytat. An innu Clober an Beebe's habbytat, an innu Poet an Hunny's habbytat. Den she inbaded Mouse's pwace an gibbed him a noo pellet dish, a tweat bowl, an sum obba toobs.

So now, aldoh da HURRY-CANE didn't affekt us, we are up to our keesters in toobs. Poor Mouse kin hardwy turn aroun to finda pwace to sleep for alla toobs an toys he's god ta pway wif. He says if he's bored now, it's all my fault, which I don unnerstan, bud I'll tell you dis, I'm nod wikin it.

Hunny says he has his werk cut oud for him, bud dat he's gonna hab sum hay anna nap an den he'll ged aroun to chewin onna toobs. Clober says she's leebin da toobs to Beeb, an Beeb is jus wadin fru goin, "YO!" ebbery now an den to wet me know he's still ober dere.

An Maman's gone back downnastairs, finkin she's done a wotta good for Bundom in gen'ral an for us in par-tik-u-lar. Bud dat's Maman - as ushual, she hassn godda cloo.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:41 AM EDT
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Saturday, 14 August 2004
Hurry-Canes - by George
Mood:  not sure

Well, seems wike sumfing's goin on. I will show you inna Wist, wike Belinda taught me to make. (She an Hunny BOF sed dis Makin-a-Wist stuff will help to organy-ize my finkin. So I am doin it cos sumday, I am gonna be a 'Tellygint Rabbit!)

So. (As Belinda usta say)

George's Wist ob Whut Is Goin On:

1. Maman's rilly sik wif da stuff dat Phil-da-OOH-RAH-Lad bwinged home frumma Naby. Id is calwed "Bron-ky(achoo)-tis". She is takin meddysin an smells funny. DaddyBrian hadda same fing, bud his stuff wint away, mostwy. Maman's didn't. DaddyBrian anna Hoomin V-E-T "speeked" to Maman aboud her nod geddin rid ob dis fing an Maman pwomised she wuld stay in bed more. Wike dat will happin! Keepin Maman in bed is wike tryin to keep bunnies inna baskit, Hunny says. Id don werk.

So. (As Belinda usta say)

2. Now Maman is siddin wrapped inna blankey wookin atta puter. She is tawkin aboudda "HURRY-CANE" wiffa name ob "Charley".

3. Phil-da-Lad is up early an tawkin aboud "Pencil-colon" and "Nor-Folx" anna "HURRY-CANES". An Phil sed, "Sucks to be dem." Ob course, dat was as he was onna screen-porch turnin da piknik tabul onto it's top. He is now moobin da rubbish bins around toda back obba houz, unner da stairs. He is also pikin up tree twigs. Shawn has just arribed to help. Dey are habbin a coffee-brek. Phil is sayin "OOH-RAH" a wot, which is anudder fing he learned inna Naby.

4. Hunny sed his arthyritis is makin him stiff. Da air, whin I sniff it, smells heavy, wike I am tryin to breathe wadder thru my crock.

5. Sherwin, Jeff, Shawn an Phil hab bwought inna bale ob hay, a bag ob Green Bag pellets an gallons ob wadder an set dem all inna Bun Room.

So I fink dere is sumfing goin on. I wint to axt Missy, bud she don know. She sed she has nebber seed a HURRY-CANE. Mouse an Hunny an Beebe hab heared obb'em (Poet don know if she has or nod, bud dat bunny is woosing her mind, I fink. She twied to ged bossy wif Hunny wast nite, an he chased her aroun an sitted on her butt, an she didn wike dat, bud as he sed, "I amma Top Bun, now, an id don madder how owd I am, ebberybun is gonna wisten to me, incloodin yoo, you contrary, bossy owd missus!").

Ennyway... or I mean,

So. (As Belinda usta say)

Nobunny quite unnerstans aboud HURRY-CANES 'cept Hunny an he can't quite bemember whut he knows aboudd'em onna'count ob bein preddy young an un'Tellygint (wike me) when da wast wun commed fru here. He sed he finks da wun he recalls wuz called "Floyd" or sumfing, an dat dere wassa wotta rain happinin, wif wadder inna streets an all, an dat it god dark berry early onna'count ob dere bein no 'lektris-city. He sed we mite be inna dark an I shuldn't be skeert, cos he libbed fru it an so wuld I.

I axt him if dere was gonna be lightnin, cos I hate lightnin onna'count ob it bein so suddin, an Hunny sed, "Mebbe."

So I am nod too happy wif alla dis. Da hoomins heer are all charged up, an Maman is tellin Phil he hasta go stay wif Sistah Beffy cos Maman sed, "She won't be able to cope on her own if dis geds to be a worst-case seen-ary-o." An DaddyBrian has nebber seed a 'Murrican HURRY-CANE bifore, so he hassn godda cloo.

An Phil's jus goin aroun whistlin a song an talkin allaboud whin he was in "Pencil-colon" anna "base" dere sumwheres. Dunno whut he's so happy aboud.

He jus now sticked his hed inna Bun Room door.

An he sed,

"OOH-RAH, Bunnies! OOH-RAH!"

Now whuttdaheck is dat aboud?

Posted by Our Warren at 11:45 AM EDT
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Friday, 13 August 2004
Uh Oh - by George
Mood:  accident prone

(creaking sounds)

Missy: Clover? Dat you, gurl? (clambers one fut atta time innu da pootie box) Hey Clover! Dat yoo?

(wall of habitat shakes)

Missy: Uh oh. (periscopes) Clover? Dat bedder be yoo.

(scratching noises)

Missy: Dis iss'nod gud. ( goes innu loaf position inna pootie box)

George: (Bright Look)Whut'sup Sweet'ums?

Missy: Der issa omninyous scratchin' noise comin frumma shakin wall obba habbytat.

George: (Strikin' a pose) Bwing id on! I'll defend yoo, my Sweet'ums!

Voice Frumma Udder Side Obba Wall: YO! Berry Boy! I'll bite'cher butt. Get'cher paws off my wommin!

George: Umm...

Missy: 'Zact'ly. An Clover issa'sleep.

George: Umm...

Missy: An you're gonna ged your butt bit.

George: (Strikin a smaller figger) Mawmie?

Missy: Maman is downnastairs.

(Habitat wall shakes until opening appears by door-frame. Very small, indignant white nose is thrust through.)

Missy: Dis is nod wookin gud. (calling a little louder) Clover? Kin you heer me, Clover? Your man dere seems to hab designs on comin heer.

George: ( craning to see over Missy) At weast he can't fit fru dat widdle opinin. Ebben if he is onwy four pounds, four pounds ob bunny will nod go fru a half inch ob space.

Missy: He's jus geddin' stawted.

George: (Sitting down in a picturesque kinda way) Oh. So, umm, wike, he's dun dis bifore? (scratches ear wif hind fut)

Missy: ( settling her nether regions against the crack in the door-frame) Quite a bit, ackchually. Gotten preddy gud at'tit.

George: Oh... (examins fut carefully)

Voice Frumma Udder Side Obba Wall: Jus slide rite on in heer wike dis (grunt) wiggle a widdle (gasp) gib'er a shub heer (grunt) anna shub on dis side (grunt) Twist a widdle (grunt) Dang! Dat hurted! (gasp) Persistance pays off, I allus say...

George: (abandoning fut-examination for the moment) Missy, I bin meanin to axt you...

Missy: Yes?

George: Well, as I amma smaller, younger, and (louder)as Belinda sed NOT-INTELLYGINT, MUCH YOUNGER bunny...

Voice Frumma Udder Side Obba Wall: (GRUNT)

George: Do I ged enny ad-bantanges in dis sitcheyashun?

Voice Frumma Udder Side Obba Wall: (GRUNT)

Missy: (listens attentively, then looks at George) Nope.

Mouse: Hold yer ground, Kiddo! Remember she's your womin!

George: Whut?

Hunny: Keep your tail inna corner, Berry Boy! Beebe, you do dis fair, you heer me? I don wanna habba be comin outta heer t'nite an habbin to...

Poet: Ohmigosh, ohmigosh, ohmigosh, OHMIGOSH! CLOVER! WAKE UP! IT'S YOUR MAN!

Nudder Voice Frumma Udder Side Obba Wall: ( Snuffle... slubble... sonk... snort...) Beebe? Beebe! Beebe-Bunny, you ged bak heer you stoopit, mono-tracked-brain, Marywand rednek wabbit!

(Furry streak flies through breech in the wall, straight at George. There is a *THUMP*; hay flies, fur fills the air; Clover peers through the crack in the door-post, Missy shifts some in the pootie box to improve her view.)

George: MaaawwwWWWWAAAAaaammmmeeeeeee!

(There is the sound of feets on the stairs)

Hunny: Oh bugger.

Mouse: Kid was doing preddy gud, too.

Clover: (still peering through the crack in the door post) Guess you godda do sumfing, Miss. I mean, can't hab dem seen fightin'.

Missy: Nod wike id's ebben a fite. Just a wotta cirklin' cos George had no cloo, bud you're rite, Maman will come outta hur fur. ( Heaves self off litter box. Interposes self between halves of furry ball on habitat floor.) Bweak id up, you two. Heer comes Maman an DaddyBrian.

(Hoomins burst into the room to find three bunnies lying all inna row...)

DaddyBrian: Good God. Char, look at this.

Maman: What's going on here? Beebe! George! Is anybunny hurt?

DaddyBrian: Dosen't appear so.

Maman: George, what a silly thing to do!

DaddyBrian: Come here Beebe, you little sod. There, go back to your own wife. Now let me fix this door...

Maman: You know, Brian, they were sitting there so nicely with Missy in the middle. Three pretty black and white bunnies and Clover there at the door wanting to join in. They were being so good! Maybe they want to make a fouresome...

Voice Frumma Udder Side Obba Wall: Waid till nexest time, you widdle...

George: ( Strikin' a Low Profile ) Mawmie?

Posted by Our Warren at 3:55 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 13 August 2004 4:13 PM EDT
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Friday, 6 August 2004
Free Range George - Pawt Wun - By George!
Mood:  don't ask

Maman an Dadda just commed home wiffa Lad!

Well axtchually, dey gotted home wast nite, berry wate at nite, budda gud noos issatta Lad is all outta Naby.

Yup. No more yooneeforms, no more obba big jetplanes, no more obba Bloo Angels or dat stuff. He issa Vet-ran. Whutebber dat is.

To be honest wif you, whin Maman an Dadda weft, I didn know whut was goin on. Da houz god rilly, rilly quiet. Dere was no noise attall, just us uppinna Bun Room bein quiet-wike.

An den, I heereda lock downnastairs, an I finked it wuz Maman, bud it wassn'. It wuz Jeff and Sherwin! So I wuz happy to see dem, cos dey gib us tweats!

So dey comes innu da Bun Room an gibs us wadder, an turns onna air condishywasher an gibs us food, an talks to us an gibs us hay.

An Hunny sed, "Watch dis. Dey won't gib me meddysin."

An he wuz rite. Dey didn.

So dey hanged aroun, and den dey wuz gone. Den Jeff comed back an turned offa air condishywasher an id god rilly quiet inna houz agin.

An I wuz sittin dere in my habbytat by myself.

You see, I hadda hole, bud Maman an Dadda sed dat I can't lib wif Missy alla time while dey wuz gone to NOR-FOLKS to gedda Lad, cos Maman wassa 'fraid dat sumfing MITE HAPPIN while she wuz gone.

Maman is allus fraid ob MITE HAPPIN, Bewinda sed. Id's wun offa fings dat skeers her, so Maman's allus takin steps to make shure dat MITE HAPPIN, don't. So dis time, wun obba fings Maman did to make shure dat MITE HAPPIN didn't happin was to pudda piece ob lattice where I had made da hole so I culd ged innu Missy's habbytat so I culdn't ged innu dere.

So I was stuck in my habbytat by myself.

An I was wonewy.

An id takes a wong time to make a hole.

So I called ober to Missy an I sed, "You wanna make anudder hole?"

An she sed, "No."

An I sed, "Howcome?"

"An she sed, "Cos you pootied on my hay."

An I told her dat's whut you're sposed to do, dat after you eet alla hay you want, you pootie onna rest ob it, bud she sed, no, you're sposed to eet alla it an pootie inna pootie-box.

An I sed, well, if you pootie inna pootie box, den you hab no pwace to sleep.

An besides, if you onwy pootie inna pootie-box, den nobunny knows dat you is okkypyin where you are - dey will fink you are onwy okkypyin' da pooty-box if you keep alla pooties inna pooty-box.

An Missy sed dat I amma stoopit BOY . An she *fumped*.

Yeah, well, I know I amma boy. Whut's hur point? An fuddermore, whut's bein a boy godda do wif where you pudda pooties? So I *fumped* back add'er.

So da nextest nite, Jeff an Sherwin comed agin. Anna same stuff happined. An I axted Missy agin if she wanned to make a hole an she sed, "No."

So I sed I didn care, bud rilly, I did. I culd heer dat dere was funder off'inna distance an I don wike funder much. Id shakes da houz an dere is nowhere to hide.

Well, da funder marched ober da sky an id wuz marchin cwoser. An Mouse wuz geddin nerbus. An dere was wisghtnin fwashin inna windoz ebben doh alla bwinds were down.

Now, normally, Maman comes an turns on our wight so dat da wightnin issn so bwight, or Dadda comes an tawks to us or most oftin, dey bof comes innu da Bun Room an we're no By Our Selbes, bud dis time, da houz was tot'wy quiet an we wuz on Our Own.

An unwike da wast Big Funderstorm, dere wuz no Bewinda inna Bun Room.

Anna funder is marchin aroun da sky ober'hed by now.

An I'm in my habbytat geddin bounced aroun byda funder. Id goes *BANG* an I go uppinna air. Den it goes an I go upinna air agin.

An each time I go upinna air, I'm hollerin "Maman!" an my feets is goin, bud Maman's nod comin!

Den dere is ebben more wightning, comin in sheets fru da bwinds an alla'round da winders!

An Mouse hollars oud, "Sid tite!"

An dere issa'nudder fwash ob wightnin an Clober yells oud, "Hang on!"

An Beebe yells, "YO!"

Just assa funder crashes down on us.

An I'm twyin to hang on, onwy dere's nuffin to hang on to an I go bouncin uppina air, an dere's anudder fwash ob wightnin, anna'nudder crash.

So id's wike, bounce-scrabble-bounce anna nextest fing I know, I'm oud inna middle obba Bun Room!

So I don know whut to do.

So I runned ober to where Hunny wuz an squeezed byda hay-bin, bud dere was wightnin back dere. So I dashed off an runned toward Mouse. Jus as I god near him, dere wassa'nudder crash ob funder an I bounced uppina air an wanded nextest to him onna Cedar Chest.

Dat seemed to uppysed a two obba shubbel pans Maman had up dere cos dey wint onna floor wiffa crash, an dere wuz more wighnin.

I'd aboud haddit by dat point, so I pootied - jus wet go rite dere in frunt ob Mouse's pwace, all ober da pwace.

An Mouse yells, "HEY!"

So I god down offa dere rite quick an Missy yells,

"In heer!"

So I taked anudder bounce an wanded in hur habbytat.

An preddy soon, da storm wint aways.

An den Jeff an Sherwin comed back.

An Jeff sed, "Whudda'ell happined in heer? Dis pwace is wrecked!"

An Sherwin sed, "Wook ober heer! Da widdle guy is in wiffa big gurl. Hey, way to go, widdle dude! Wookit ma man dere!"

An I'm finkin, "Maman? Where?"

An den Jeff piked me up.

An he sed, "Wookit, I don fink you're sposed to be in dere, George. You're sposed to be in heer."

An he pud me down in my habbytat!

I'll tell you da west obba stowy tomorry... cos dere is more toit den jus dis...

Yeah, fings ged worser...

Posted by Our Warren at 12:10 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 6 August 2004 12:15 PM EDT
Friday, 30 July 2004
Noo Hole - by George
Mood:  incredulous
So. (As Bewinda wuld say)

I was uppystairs werkin onna hole an singin my song, when I hear Maman onna stairs.

Now she had bin downnastairs inna kitchin doin sumfing else an den suddinwy, she was comin uppastairs, an she's yellin,


So I stopped makin da hole an comed obber to da side obba habbytat to see whut wuz up wif hur.

So she comes innu da Bun Room an she's standin ober da habbytat an she weans down an says to me, reel stern-wike,

"Whut'chu doin, Bunny?"

So I sed, "Makin a hole. Wanna heer da song?"

Bud she piked me up an stawts Forced Pettin. You know whut dat is. Ids when dey hab hold ob you an is pettin your eers, makin dem wie down flat so you can't hear berry gud da way dat you kin when your eers is up an ready to reeceeb.

So I'm sorda hearin impaiwed, an Maman stawts tawkin to me.

An I'm hearin aboud ebbery fird werd, cos she's pettin my ears, an hur hand is cwosin oud most ob whut she's sayin, so I'm hearin, wike dis:

"Doonot" "can't" "whut'chu" anna whole wotta ubber stuff dat don make much more sense den dat. An hur hand is goin And I'm hearing,"doonot", and hur hand goes An den I hear anudder werd, "ebberagin". An hur hand, anna'nudder werd,"orelse". Den back comes da hand an, anna'nudder werd, "Daddased"; and den, "whut'chugonnadoo" "Datsamamasgudboy".

An I'm finkin, "Whutdaheck?"

So I stawt singin my song to myself to pass da time.

Den I ged put down agin on my feets an Maman goes back outta Bun Room door an goes downnastairs.

So I go back to makin da hole.

Den jus as I'm singin atta top ob my boice an werkin rilly hard onna hole, suddinwy, dere's Maman atta Bun Room door agin an she's yellin,


Well, I musta jumped 'bout tin feets inna air.

An Missy snickered.

An I wooked up at Maman wike, "Howdaheck do I know? You had your hand ober my eers most obba time."

So Maman piked me up again. Dis time we goes nose-to-nose.

An Maman says, "Wookit George. I can't be habbin wif dis."

An I'm finkin, "Dat's Bewinda's werds."

An Maman says, "Missy don fink you're bein berry clebber. She doesn't want you to be chewin holes inna..." an dat's when we herd it.

Dat same sound dat I make when I'm makin da hole. Onwy, I'm up inna air, nose-to-nose wif Maman, wif alla my feets offa gwound.

So it can't be me.

An Maman wooks.

An she tucks me unner her arm an she calls Dadda.

An Dadda comes uppastairs.

An Dadda wooks.

An Dadda says, "Bluddy'ell."

An Maman puds me down on my feets inna habbytat an jus turns an stawts walkin away, sayin, "I don beleeb dis. I jus don beleebit! Don wanna beleebit, don tawk to me aboud'dit, I didn see id!"

So I watched dem goin downnastairs fora minit, an den I went ober toda hole an wooked...

An dere's Missy, wif her nose pwessed innu da hole an she's chewin onna lattice, an she's singin,

Makin a hole...
Makin a hole...
I'm makin a hole to see Georg-gee!
Makin a hole...
Makin a hole...
I'm makin a hole to see Georg-gee!

Posted by Our Warren at 4:01 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 30 July 2004 4:08 PM EDT
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Thursday, 29 July 2004
It Don't Come Easy - By George
Mood:  energetic
Maman is god dis stuf onna 'puter called "musik". Songs onna 'puter. She cliks onna widdle boxes an out comes a song!

Berry nice.

So I twied it, an oud commed a song for me!

"It Don't Come Easy" by some guy called George who is nod me. He hassa sekond name which is "Harrison" which issa berry gud name for sumbun who doesn't sound much wike a bunny onna 'puter.

Whoebber he is, he is rite, id don't come easy at all.

Cos sumtimes, whutebber *it* is, id jus don't go rite frumma get-go, bud dat don't meen dat you gib up onnit.

Or sumtimes whut you're doin bwows up in your face. Or id falls apart. Or you stawt downna wrong paf. Or you ged turned around inna dawk an eet oudda da wrong bowl. Or you ged hextcited an hug da wrong end ob sumbun. Or you ebben hug da wrong sumbun. Or sum bugger fixes uppa hole you were makin.

Stuff happins. Bud id don't meen dat you gib up.

Bewinda sed dat dis is how to ged 'Tellygint: make da mistake once, den wearn frummit. As wong as you don't wake up ded, den you're good to go.

She also sed if I make da same mistake twice, den I'm in danger ob fallin innu da Realm Obba Stoopid Frum Which Dere Is No Hextskape. She sed dat is where Da Terminally Stoopit go to die. She also sed dat, frum whut she culd figger, id is preddy full up wif a wotta hoomins, so bunnies wanna steer cwear obbit.

Bewinda sed dat I hadda wearn Da Roolz in order to become 'Tellygint, too. She sed datta Roolz aren't anywhere dat I kin read dem, or dat dey can be told to me, or dat enny single bun made dem up. Dey are Da Rools ob Nice Behabiour dat make geddin awong easy. She sed I hadda wearn dem, an wearn dem gud.

Dey are nod easy rools.

Da Furst wun seems to be: Do Nod Embarass Udders.

An I fink dat I bwoke dat wun yestidday when I twied moobin in wif Missy.

You see, I sort ob got off onna wrong end ob fings.

Bud I was so hextcited dat I fit fru da hole! Id was my hole! Da wun dat I had made while I was singin my widdle "Makin A Hole" song!

I squeezed fru da hole! I Fitted!

So da furst fing I did was gwab Missy by da hed...

Yeah. An embarassed hur.

Dadda came an pikt me up an pud me back in my own habbytat an cwosed up my hole.

So, I felt a widdle bad aboud dat. An I sulked fora widdle.

An den I finked to myself, "George, dat is preddy stoopit. You made a mistake. Dis is whut Bewinda was tawkin aboud. Makin mistakes an owinin up an geddin 'Tellygint."

So I sed to Missy dat I was sorry for habbin 'barassed hur.

An she sed, "Hope you wearned your wesson."

An I sed, "I did."

So den I herd dis song dis mawnin on Maman's 'puter, an I realise dat, yeah, fings do happin, bud it's nodda end obba werld. Missy is worf keepin on werkin for.

So I'm back to makin a noo hole.

An Maman is readin a wotta stuff onna puter, too. She's bin berry sad watewy, an quiet, bud she's godda BIG PROJEK Bewinda's gibbin hur. An you know howit is wif fings Bewinda gibs you - can't ignore dem.

An Maman issn leebin PetBunny, eidder. Bud she won't be typin much, just quietly sendin bibes, an prayers, an widdle notes now an den.

Bud I godda ged to werk onna Hole.

I know id's gonna be a wong job. Bud dis time I'm gonna do it rite when I ged it done. I will nod get ober-hextcited an fortyged Da Roolz ob Gud Behabiour. I will be a Mannerwy Bunny-Boy.

Wike dat GeorgeHarrison guy sed,

Id Don't Come Easy...
You know id just ain't easy!

(Sing id wif me now!)

Hafta pay your dues
If you wanna sing da bloos
An you know id don't come easy
You don habba shout
Or leap aboud
An you know id jus ain't easy...

Posted by Our Warren at 11:44 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 28 July 2004
mmmmMMMOOOOOooommmm!!!! - By Missy
Mood:  rushed

Missy Heer... *pant-pant-pant* Wookit, I can't pause budda minit cos.... oh drat...


You see, dis pesky Babby George frum nextest store... *pant-pant-pant* You know dat song he maked up?

Makin a hole
Makin a hole
Makin a hole to see Miss - ee...

Yeah. Dat wun. Well, *pant-pant* he done it - made a hole an he done it. He's here, seein me an I don't wike it!

Aw geez!

**Skitter - Slide - Skitter**
**Muffled yell: Gerroffa me, you stoopit bunny-boy or I'm gonna pop you innu a middle ob nextest week!

Beebe-Bunny: (Pop-thump-Pop-thump) YO! Maman! (Pop-thump-Pop-thump) YO! Dadda! Da Kid's in wif wunna my wimmins!! (Pop-Thump-Pop-Thump)


Id's nod dat I don wike da Babby. If I didn't wike him, I culd hurt him if I wanted to. I mean wookit, I'mma big bunny girl - an you shaddup, Beebe-Bunny! - by ennybunny's estymashun, bud I pwomised Belinda dat I wuld help take care obba kid an ebberyfing, so I will. Bud dis beats ebberyfing.

Now I don't blame da kid for bein skeert. We had bad Funderstorms alla wast nite. Just sheets ob wightnin twyin to ged innu da winders. Ebben Hunny nodised an dat's preddy rare, cos he don see gud ad all. Maman an Dadda wuz up-al-nite, wanderin aroun, so who wuldn't be skeert?

Dis sekond-floor biznezz is gweat onna nise day wiffa breezes bwowin fru an all, bud id sux inna Funderstorm whenna wightnin is twin to ged inna winders, anna Funder is shakin da floors. No pwace feels safer den unnergwound, ebben doh we know dat dis issas safe as unnergwound ebben doh id's uppinda air. Sumtimes knowin is as bad as bein.

So I didn't mind lyin next toda kid inna habbytat. I lied nextest to him an poked my nose in fru da hole he made an jus gen'rally wet him know dat he wassn't OnAlone. Jus wike Belinda usta do wif me.

Bud I didn't tell him id was hokay to moob in wif me!

Whutda....oh pooties! **Skitter** Yikes!! **Skitter**


****** THUMP ******




I hab SO haddit. Dis widdle idji-it has godda noo song an I'm nod ebben gonna 'barrass myself by singin id to you. He finks he'ssa 'mazin Widdle George - He sings! He gwooms! He's god berries! Hhe'ssa Wun-an-Onwy-Orig'nal-Gurl-Bun-Candy!


Oh good - Dadda feets onna stairs... I am SABBED!!!

Now, you, George... Ged out! Ged out, gedout, gedoutgedoutgedout - an GED OUT!!!






Fanks, Dadda.


***Small voice heard from next-door***
Makin a hole...
Makin a hole...
Makin a hole to see Miss-ee!
Makin a hole...
Makin a hole...
I'm makin a hole to see Miss-ee!


Belinda, I know you allus knowed best - cos you telled me dat oftin enuf - bud I godda axt you wun fing... where onna Earf did you ged dis kid frum?!?!

Posted by Our Warren at 8:57 AM EDT
Updated: Wednesday, 28 July 2004 9:00 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 27 July 2004
A Blog Frumma Furst Spot! - Miss Nikita Bunn Kennedy!
Frum George: We gotted Anudder guest! Dis is impawtant, cos id issa guest blog frumma Furst Spot, Miss Nikita Bunn Kennedy! An she issa Inkwish Spot Rabbit, jus wike Bewinda! I am berry honoured. So heer id is, jus wike she typed id, in hur berry own werds:
When a rabbit is hurting, dey do stuff dat's not berry pretty.
Sometimes dey make messes. Sometimes dey ebben bite da people an'
rabbits dey wike, just becuz dey are upset and confoozled.

I fink dere's been some ob dat goin' round da Inner-Net recently.

Wookit, we are all well-ackwainted wif da reallity dat life iz not
fair. Dere's a whole heapin' wot about it dat izzen't fair. It
izzen't fair wot happens to rabbits in dis country, and it ain't rite
eidder. All rabbits deserb humane treatment, decent libbin'
condishuns, and a chance atta Good Life. An' dere's so many dat
don't get it.

*heavy sigh*

And da numbers are not in our fabor atta moment, neither. Rabbits
hab an uphill struggle aginst people who fink ob us as 'stuff'. What
are we useful for? How can dey use us for dere own bennyfit?!?

Sum fink dat dere God made them so great and speshul, dat dey are
better den us, and dere-fore get to 'use us'. To put it mildly,

Tankfully, dey are not da only ones out dere. Sum are good people -
dey tink dat dere God made dem smart enough to respekt us. Dey tink
dat dey hab been giben da grace to be gentle, and da power, ebben if
it is limited, to help us.

Dey are dat ones dat we all should be grateful for. If da last of
dere kind is ebber seen to depart from dis earth, we can all kiss our
tails goodbye - cause when dey have exploited all dere is to exploit
on paws and hooves an' feathers an' fins, dey'll go after all dey hab
left - da hoomins unhappy enuf to remain in dere comp'ny.

Savin' da world izzent easy and no one can do it alone. It's wike
Bewinda usta tell me, "NoBunny OnAwone."

You gotta hab some faith in odder people. Don't you fink dat dey
want to help? Don't you imagine dat dey mite feel bad about what dey
can't do? It's easy to be happy about baby bunnies, for example, and
dat news is easy to share. It's nebber easy to be happy about one's
own limitations, and it's not easy at all to share dat kinda stuff.
If you fink odder people aren't doing sumfing rite, or aren't doing
sumfing dey should, fink about dis before you decide what you wanna
say to dem - scolding dem obber sumfing dey just cannot do is wike
rubbing their nose in dere plight. Dey are aware of what dey can't
do. Perhaps dey were hoping not to pubwicize da matter 'cuz dey
don't wike to adbertise dere troubles, but den you go making a Big
Deal obber it...

I fink dere are sum people who hab no faith in anyone else. Dey fink
dat Dey Must Sabe Da World, All-OnAlone.

'Scuse me for bein' da worm inna apple here, but dat's a bit ego- tistikal.

Wookit, sum obba Bestest Minds around da PLANET spend ebbery day
trying to do dis, and dey hab been trying for years. If dey can't do
it wif wike a hundred thousand hours spent onnit already, you're not
gonna get it done obbernite, neither.

Da animal holocaust dat goes on day by day is wike a forest fire,
see - no one person is gonna stop da whole fire. Not ebben a big
strong person wif a great big helly-chopter an' a billion dollars can
do it on dere own.

It takes a team ob people. And ebben den, some trees still burn.

Da way I see it, a wotta people ain't gotta helly-chopter. Dey
*KNOW* dat if dey did dey could save a whole lot more trees, and dat
would be sucha great thing! But all dey hab is a little shovel. And
da biggest injustice ob all is, sumtimes da person wif da helly- chopter doesn't wanna help. So, sooo many trees dat oughta get
saved, don't... and da trees dat are burnt can't ebber be brought
back. ==:(

Da fing is, you can't just sit down and stare at da empty forest and
cry obber da ashes forebber. (I mean, you gotta do dat sumtimes - if
you don't do dat at weast some ob da time, you'll end up doing
sumting else in its place dat might be worse.) But you HAFTA PICK
after yoo get dat one tree saved today, you could start diggin' a
trench in front ob a second one so dat it hassa chance too. Or you
can save da one tree, an' den go out to da village an' try to find
sumbody to help ya dig ebben more trenches tomorrow.

Don't ebber, ebber throw alla shovels in da fire because dey aren't
helly-chopters. Da handles will all burn off, and den when you need
dem da most so you can save ebben one tree, dey won't be dere to help
as ebben a little shovel always can.

Ebben if a person's only got da little shovel, dey can still help.
Sometimes dey can make phone calls for dere local rescue
organizashun, or dey can show up atta rescue one day a month and
clean cages. Sometimes an hour spent wiffa diggy-tal camera can be
da thing dat gets a rabbit's life saved, because somebody might see
da picture online and realized dat is DERE bunny dat dey NEED at dere
home. Most people can give a little time to give sumbunny a wot
*more* time. When dey do stuff wike dis, it's wike replanting da
forest one seed atta time.

It would be very expensive to replant a forest wif full-grown oaks
and maples. Not a whole lotta trees would get planted. So dey plant
little trees, sometimes ebben *seeds* dat are so small no one know if
dey will ebben grow.

Issit worf it? Well, what kinda future can you expect if dey don't
ebben TRY?

Please, find a little time dis month to plant a seed and use a
shovel. Ebben if you can't do ennyfing big, its gonna hafta be a
team effort for dis.

NoBunny OnAlone. Rite? Rite.

Posted by Our Warren at 7:01 AM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 27 July 2004 7:12 AM EDT
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Monday, 26 July 2004
Nobunny Wants Anudder Bunny - By George
Mood:  quizzical
Maman an Dadda wet me bisit Missy wast nite!

Yes dey did!

An I poked my hed innu Missy's habbytat an she wooked at me an sed, "Hey, whut'chu doin in heer?"

An Beebe poked his nose innu Missy's habbytat an sed, "YeeOOOO! KID! WHUT'CHU DOIN IN DERE?!?"

An I sed, "Wookin."

An Missy sed, "I am Nod a mawmie, George." An she pud her tail rite up. "Wet's ged wun fing straight rite offa bat: I am NOD a mawmie."

An I stwetched oud my nose towards hur.

So Missy bopped my nose.

"I'm warnin you, George." She sed. "You come in dis habbytat an you is gonna gwoom me. If we is gonna do dis bondin fing, it's gonna beda twadishunal rabbit rewashunship: meanin you is gonna gwoom me. God it?"

An I sed, "Tradishunal. Rite. Shure. Hokay." Cos Missy issa big rabbit, bud a berry preddy rabbit. Berry round.

So I hopped toda back ob her habbytat to see whut my habbytat wooked wike frum dis angle an she jumped on my butt an stawted, well... you know

I was so embarassed.

So I hopped forward a widdle an she wet me go.

"I'm nod kiddin, George." Missy sed. "I'm nodda mawmie."

Den Maman sed to Dadda, "Mebbe we shuld hab wet George in wif Belinda. I fought she was too sik an too fragile. He's too widdle for Missy. She's an adult. Mebbe she doesn't wanna kid wif her. Mebbe Mouse."

An Mouse grumbled, "Nod on your wife, wady!" an stawted to munch hay rilly loud an toss id aroun.

An Dadda sed, "Wet her ged to know George." Bewinda sed Dadda issa "dippy'mattic" wun obb'em.

An Missy bopped me onna hed agin, bud nod hard an she didn grunt or ennyfing.

An I'm finkin, dis is nod goin da way I fought it wuld.

An Hunny calls oud, "Hey, kid, it nebber does! Wimmins issa pain inna butt!" an dat wuz jus as Poet falled ober him agin, wookin to see if he had enny nanner left in his mouf.

An Hunny grunted, "Gerrof me, Poet! I alreddy et it!" cos Poet issa'boud four leebs short obba bale sumtimes, 'speshully when it comes to nanner.

An den, suddinly, Maman had wadder comin outta her eyes agin an she sed to Dadda,

"Nobun ebber knows, do dey? Ebberybunny hassa potenshul Belinda ora George when dey go to 'dopt. Dey nebber know. Da bunny dey pass up culd be annudder Belinda. It culd be anudder 'heart bunny', bud becos dey say 'We don hab room' dey nebber ged to know dat bunny. It's onwy when dey getta bunny home dat ennywun can know a bunny. Wook at George - he wooked wike enny udder bunny atta V-E-Ts - Bunny-Inna-Box - justa-nudder-bunny, bud now dat he's heer, he's Goerge. Our George!

"An wook at Belinda. I'm shure when Laura god hur she was justa-nudder-bunny. An den she became Belinda - bud onwy afta she was dere an was able to become Belinda.

"We hab sebben bunnies. How many Belinda's or George's are we missin? Bud we can't afford anudder bunny jus now, nod widda noo compiny, an alla bills frum Belinda an takin care of Hunny an alla stuff going on wif Mu'ver an alla dat. I jus can't do it, bud whut if we're condemmin annudder Belinda or annudder George? Brian, whut shuld we do?"

An Dadda pud his arms aroun Maman an Maman was makin berry sad noises an I came an snuffled her feets, jus wike Bewinda told me to do when Maman is wike dis.

Anna Warren god berry, berry quiet until alla noises dat dere were was comin frum Maman.

An den Dadda sed, "Belinda knows we're doin da bestest we kin."

An she does, ob course. Bewinda knows ebberyfing. She wassa smawtest bunny I ebber knowed. She sed dat Maman had dees fits now anna'gin an dat onwy Dadda culd handle dem. She sed it is onna'count ob Maman bein Maman. Bewinda sed my job ista snuffle, so I had bedder ged good at'tit. So I twied.

Waiter on Hunny sed dat Maman is rite: nobun knows a bunny till dey libs wif dem. He says datta same fing is troo aboudda bunny pawents.

"Da fing is," Hunny sed, "Dere is nebber room inna warren until da udder bunny is alreddy heer. Nobunny ebber wants unnudder bunny until dey alreddy gots him. Den dey will nebber wet you go."

"You meen nobunny wanted me?" I axt. An I felt sad. Nobunny wanted me.

An Hunny sed, "No. Ob course nod. Dere was no room. Bewinda was sik. I am sik. Maman was sik. Dadda was habbin pwobwems holdin fings togedder. Where wass'er room fora'nudder bunny? Dere wassn! Den you god abandoned atta V-E-Ts an Maman went an god you. You were da wast fing ennybunny needed! Bud now dat you're heer, you're stayin. Cos you is yoo-neek. Jus wike alla udder bunnies heer."

An I sed, "Oh."

An Hunny turned aroun suddenwy, an wooked at me, berry serwious.

"Stop feelin sorry fur yourself, George. Dat is no way to feel. You is heer now an you is stayin. Wookit, inna beginnin, nobun wanted me, eidder. An dat's why I was OnAlone. Den Maman taked me cos I was inna horryble pwace. Dat's how id is. We are finded an we are sint. I fink sumbun called you, George, an I fink you was sint. We allus hab wun more bunny den we hab room for bifor da Bwack Rabbit comes. You was called, Babby George, an you was sint. Nebber fortyged dat: you was sint to Our Warren. An Maman nebber knowed."

"Issa nudder bunny gonna be sint?" I axted.

An Hunny god quiet. Fora wong time he didn say say ennyfing, an den he sed, "I dunno. Mebbe nod rite now. Maman mite break, or sumfing mite go wrong. Dere issa wotta changes inna air an I can't tell whut alla fings meen. Go to sweep, Babby George. Mebbe Bewinda will come an tell you fings inna nite."

So dis mawnin, I feel a widdle dif'frunt. I am still makin a hole nextest to Missy's hed, bud she's not warnin me aboud nod bein a mawmie. Dat's hokay. I'm nod makin a hole to ged to a mawmie. I'm makin a hole so I kin be bonded. Wimmins issa pain inna butt, but I fink I wanna be wif wun.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:16 AM EDT
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