I am sorry dat I hab bin away fur awhile. Dis is Maman's fault (issn't ebberyfing?). She has bin rilly, rilly sik an twyin to hide it, wikea good bunny shuld. As she sed to me da udder day,
"Nebber, ebber wet dem see a weaknis."
Yeah, well, she is rite aboud dat. Cos when you is prey, anna whole werld is fulla preddytors, showin a weaknis is jus pwain stoopit.
Bud, den, in dis werld, you also god your "Protecktors". Maman has Dadda, who is alla'boud protecktin. Mainwy, he's godda proteckt hur frum hurself, cos as Belinda noted elsewhere inna Blog, Maman can ged hurself innu a werld ob trubble wifoud ebben finkin aboudd'it (well, whut Belinda sed wassat Maman doesn't fink wike udder hoomins fink, which is howcome she can ged innu a werld ob trubble all on hur own, wiffoud requirin enny help frumma rest ob us.).
Now, Dadda is your basik Good Protecktor. He is, furst ob all, BIG. Speshully when you are sittin onna floor, wookin up (or as Belinda wuld say, "Frum wun fut offa gwound.").
Bud nod alla Portecktors inna werld are big, wike Dadda. In fact, whut I hab noticed issat a wotta da rilly woud, rilly b'lligerant, self-'pointed Protecktors in Our Warren are kinda onna (forgib me for noticin') small side.
You take Mouse.
Now Mouse issa normal Netherlands Dwarf. Small, over-all gen'rally round shape; pointed, Tellygint ears an' neet feets.
Butta good fing aboud Mouse issat Mouse knows dat he is small. He knows dat he is small, but dat he is also one fast, tough, persistant widdle Muther-Ob-All-Battles.
Mouse's habbytat is rite by da door an he Keeps An Eye Out alla time, an he knows when to *thump* an when not to *thump*, an he knows da rite way to conduct a Pooty-War an alla dat stuff.
Belinda sed dat Mouse issa "Cwassik Adbersaryul Male" an I shuld wearn stuff frum him aboud Honnur an Bunny'tude in order to become a truly 'Tellygint Bunny.
An den you take BeeBe-Bunny!! Please!
Now Beeb issa "Cwassic Idjit", Belinda sed. Maman says dat he has "Issues". Dadda calls him "See'ere-Sunshine" an keeps sayin dey are gonna habba "fallin-oud", whutebber dat is.
Hunny says BeeBe issa'boud twelbe pounds ob pooties inna four pound bag ob fur, an Mouse sed if we wet da hot air out ob him, da Bun Room wuld float.
Ennyways, BeeBe issa Hot-Tot, a breed ob bunny dat hassa widdle white body wif widdle black ears an widdle black rings around his eyes, anna widdle black tail. Cute guy; weighs aboud four pounds, mostly teef.
Budda fing is, BeeBe
An he finks dat he shuld own ebbryfing inna Bun Room.
An he finks dat he shuld own alla gurl bunnies in Our Warren.
An he finks dat he issa Top Bun in Our Warren, too.
An he finks dat he is bigger, an badder, an gen'rally sus'perior to Dadda an kin beat Dadda's butt enny time he wants.
Which is sum seriously stoopit finkin, if you axt me.
So I wooked down at BeeBe da udder day, an I sed, "Hey, Beeb."
An he sed, "YO!"
An I sed, "So, wike, whut's up wif dis bein a seriously huge rabbit an all, when I'm bigger den you are, an when eidder Clover - which is your wife-bun, or my wife-bun, Missy - culd sit on you an make you dissypear? I mean, if you're so big, all free ob us are bigger den you, den howcome you fink you're such a big rabbit?"
An BeeBe wooked at me fora sekond, an den bwinked. Den he did a widdle half-binky, growled, cirkuled bak an sed, "Cos I am."
An I sed, "Am, whut?"
An he sed, "In real life, I amma berry BIG rabbit!"
An I'm wike, "Well, hokay. Dat's your story." an went off to hab sum hay, cos Hunny says dat helps you to cwear your hed obba non-sense dat normally geds innu it.
Bud I'm still wonderin abouddit. Because I hear dere are udder small bunnies who seem to habba same conbikshuns dat BeeBe has - dat dey are HUGE, TOUGH, ALPHA-RAMBO-NINJA-BUNNY rabbits, when dey are rilly small, fluffy, cute-wookin bundles ob toofs an fur wif rotten atty'tudes. An yet, dere are seriously HUGE, STRONG, GIANT RABBITS dat habba personalwity ob cuddlebuns.
So go figger. Cos it beats da heck outta me!