Well. (Dis is my werd.)
Now dat I am readin da noospapers on-wine wif Maman inna mornin, I am geddin 'Tellygint. Maman sed dat it will bea slooow process. She says ebberyfing issa "process": fwowers do nod jus opin wiffa "pop" an bunnies do nod jus wake up alla suddin 'Tellygint. It happins ober time, a widdle bit heer anna widdle bit dere, an den, bifore you know it, you turn aroun, an wow-wook-atta-dat! you're all gwowed up an 'Tellygint.
So I am gonna stop twyin to waid to become 'Tellygint an jus ged to werk onnit.
An I'm stawtin wif usin my own werd "Well" insted ob usin Belinda's werd "So". Bud Maman sed I kin still use Belinda's werd, as long as I "attwibbyboot" my source. I allus habba bemember to do dat. Whin you attwibbyboot a source, dat meens dat you say who did it bifore you did, so dat if dey screwed up, you don ged blamed for it - an if dey done good, you can't take alla credit cos you didn't doda werk.
Seems fair to me.
So. I mean, Well. ("So" is Belinda's werd. "Well" is mine.)
I thought dat tiday I wuld 'splain "Bloggin". I hadda lern 'boud it since I'm doin it.
Bloggin is short werds for "Web-log", which means typin inna on-line journal.
Yup, dat's it. Myst'ry solbed. By George.
Inna noospapers, a wotta hoomins are parentwy typin in blogs cossa 'Publican Nashunal Conbenchun is gonna be comin to Noo Yawk Near Us.
Maman helped me to finda werd "Publican" inna dickshunary. It means a "landlord" or "keeper obba pubwick houz". Oh, an "Pubwick" means hoomins ob all kinds.
Maman sed datta most publicans keep pubs. She was nod payin much 'tenshun to whut I was sayin, so I hopped down offa her lap an wint to axt Dadda boudda pubs.
Dadda is frum Inkwand an Dadda tawks boudda pubs where he commed frum. It seems dat Inkwand hassa wotta pubs, so I guess dat dey hab publicans, too. I guess dey also hab conbenchuns, since it seems a hoomin fing todo.
Now Dadda sumtimes tawks aboud when he was younger inna Unnybersity, he god innu "pub-brawls" which wuld be your basik fites. He sed dere wassa wotta dat happinin in pubs. He sed he don do dat now cos he is nod inna Unnybersity an he don dwink (which issa fib, cos he dwinks a wotta stuff called "tee".)
Bud its hokay, cos inna unnybersity guys tend to fite wike me an Beebe - call a few names, take a few bops, pull sum fur, an den it's ober.
He sed most obba landlords wuld frow you oud whin you fite, jus wike he allus pulls me an Beebe apart whin it wooks wike we is gonna stawt sumfing. Maman sed Beebe an I cannot be twusted cos Beebe an I are jus pwain Stoopit Aboud Sum Fings. Whutebber. I say dat if he is gonna sneek innu my habbytat, I don wike it, an he says he kin sneek in whenebber he feels wike it if I wike it or nod. Fing is, it's my habbytat, rite?
Well. Maman sed we godda shut uppaboud it cos she don hold wif fitin. I guess Maman issa landlord or sumfing, bud she sed she wuldn't go to enny conbenchuns cos she haddit wif Noo Yawk yeers ago, an too menny hoomins gaddered togedder in wun pwace make her skert.
Bud if dere issa conbenchun ob landlords, I wuld guess dat dey wuld ged togedder to talk aboudda ways ob frowin oudda young guys frumma Unnybersity (Note: a hoomin pwace to ged 'Tellygint - attwibbybooted to Dadda) who ged inna stoopid fites dat don meen ennyfing, wike me an Beebe.
Hokay, so Maman sed dat dere will be wotta hoomins typin blogs aboud dis stuff, jus wike a wotta hoomins typed a wotta blogs aboudda demmykatik conbenchun, which is (I guess) whenna wotta "Demmys" (gotta wook dat up) got togedder sumwheres (wook dat up, too) to do sumfing (wook dat up).
So (Attwibbybooted to Belinda who usta say it alla time, but it's hokay, I kin use it.).
Whut it wooks wike to me issat a wotta hoomins are gonna do a wotta typin aboutta fightin inna pubs by a wotta young guys.
Sumhow, I don seeda point.
I meen, mebbe I'm nod berry 'Tellygint yet, bud I wuld raffer type aboud raisins, an nanners an bondin an makin holes an stuff dat I wike radder den type aboudda wotta young hoomins habbin fites in pubs ober nuffin. Sure, guys ged innu fites. It's wunna da fings dat happins before you ged 'Tellygint an wearns stuff wike "Patience" an "Whin to Shut Up". Dadda sed dat stuff comes wif Age an da hextperience ob geddin tired ob pikkin yourself up offa floor, or da hextperience ob geddin tired ob puttin frozin veggies onna eye (I'm nod shure abouddis wun.). Ennyway, Dadda says "You gwow outta it."
So I guess you gwow outta typin abouddit, too. Or at weast I do.
I wuld radder wook outta windor an see da werld go by, or watch da cwoulds chase each udder acrosst da sky.
Publicans an Demmykats. I dunno. Mebbe I've outgwown dat stuff. Id happins when you ged 'Tellygint.