Mood: don't ask
Maman an Dadda just commed home wiffa Lad!
Well axtchually, dey gotted home wast nite, berry wate at nite, budda gud noos issatta Lad is all outta Naby.
Yup. No more yooneeforms, no more obba big jetplanes, no more obba Bloo Angels or dat stuff. He issa Vet-ran. Whutebber dat is.
To be honest wif you, whin Maman an Dadda weft, I didn know whut was goin on. Da houz god rilly, rilly quiet. Dere was no noise attall, just us uppinna Bun Room bein quiet-wike.
An den, I heereda lock downnastairs, an I finked it wuz Maman, bud it wassn'. It wuz Jeff and Sherwin! So I wuz happy to see dem, cos dey gib us tweats!
So dey comes innu da Bun Room an gibs us wadder, an turns onna air condishywasher an gibs us food, an talks to us an gibs us hay.
An Hunny sed, "Watch dis. Dey won't gib me meddysin."
An he wuz rite. Dey didn.
So dey hanged aroun, and den dey wuz gone. Den Jeff comed back an turned offa air condishywasher an id god rilly quiet inna houz agin.
An I wuz sittin dere in my habbytat by myself.
You see, I hadda hole, bud Maman an Dadda sed dat I can't lib wif Missy alla time while dey wuz gone to NOR-FOLKS to gedda Lad, cos Maman wassa 'fraid dat sumfing MITE HAPPIN while she wuz gone.
Maman is allus fraid ob MITE HAPPIN, Bewinda sed. Id's wun offa fings dat skeers her, so Maman's allus takin steps to make shure dat MITE HAPPIN, don't. So dis time, wun obba fings Maman did to make shure dat MITE HAPPIN didn't happin was to pudda piece ob lattice where I had made da hole so I culd ged innu Missy's habbytat so I culdn't ged innu dere.
So I was stuck in my habbytat by myself.
An I was wonewy.
An id takes a wong time to make a hole.
So I called ober to Missy an I sed, "You wanna make anudder hole?"
An she sed, "No."
An I sed, "Howcome?"
"An she sed, "Cos you pootied on my hay."
An I told her dat's whut you're sposed to do, dat after you eet alla hay you want, you pootie onna rest ob it, bud she sed, no, you're sposed to eet alla it an pootie inna pootie-box.
An I sed, well, if you pootie inna pootie box, den you hab no pwace to sleep.
An besides, if you onwy pootie inna pootie-box, den nobunny knows dat you is okkypyin where you are - dey will fink you are onwy okkypyin' da pooty-box if you keep alla pooties inna pooty-box.
An Missy sed dat I amma stoopit BOY . An she *fumped*.
Yeah, well, I know I amma boy. Whut's hur point? An fuddermore, whut's bein a boy godda do wif where you pudda pooties? So I *fumped* back add'er.
So da nextest nite, Jeff an Sherwin comed agin. Anna same stuff happined. An I axted Missy agin if she wanned to make a hole an she sed, "No."
So I sed I didn care, bud rilly, I did. I culd heer dat dere was funder off'inna distance an I don wike funder much. Id shakes da houz an dere is nowhere to hide.
Well, da funder marched ober da sky an id wuz marchin cwoser. An Mouse wuz geddin nerbus. An dere was wisghtnin fwashin inna windoz ebben doh alla bwinds were down.
Now, normally, Maman comes an turns on our wight so dat da wightnin issn so bwight, or Dadda comes an tawks to us or most oftin, dey bof comes innu da Bun Room an we're no By Our Selbes, bud dis time, da houz was tot'wy quiet an we wuz on Our Own.
An unwike da wast Big Funderstorm, dere wuz no Bewinda inna Bun Room.
Anna funder is marchin aroun da sky ober'hed by now.
An I'm in my habbytat geddin bounced aroun byda funder. Id goes *BANG* an I go uppinna air. Den it goes an I go upinna air agin.
An each time I go upinna air, I'm hollerin "Maman!" an my feets is goin, bud Maman's nod comin!
Den dere is ebben more wightning, comin in sheets fru da bwinds an alla'round da winders!
An Mouse hollars oud, "Sid tite!"
An dere issa'nudder fwash ob wightnin an Clober yells oud, "Hang on!"
An Beebe yells, "YO!"
Just assa funder crashes down on us.
An I'm twyin to hang on, onwy dere's nuffin to hang on to an I go bouncin uppina air, an dere's anudder fwash ob wightnin, anna'nudder crash.
So id's wike, bounce-scrabble-bounce anna nextest fing I know, I'm oud inna middle obba Bun Room!
So I don know whut to do.
So I runned ober to where Hunny wuz an squeezed byda hay-bin, bud dere was wightnin back dere. So I dashed off an runned toward Mouse. Jus as I god near him, dere wassa'nudder crash ob funder an I bounced uppina air an wanded nextest to him onna Cedar Chest.
Dat seemed to uppysed a two obba shubbel pans Maman had up dere cos dey wint onna floor wiffa crash, an dere wuz more wighnin.
I'd aboud haddit by dat point, so I pootied - jus wet go rite dere in frunt ob Mouse's pwace, all ober da pwace.
An Mouse yells, "HEY!"
So I god down offa dere rite quick an Missy yells,
So I taked anudder bounce an wanded in hur habbytat.
An preddy soon, da storm wint aways.
An den Jeff an Sherwin comed back.
An Jeff sed, "Whudda'ell happined in heer? Dis pwace is wrecked!"
An Sherwin sed, "Wook ober heer! Da widdle guy is in wiffa big gurl. Hey, way to go, widdle dude! Wookit ma man dere!"
An I'm finkin, "Maman? Where?"
An den Jeff piked me up.
An he sed, "Wookit, I don fink you're sposed to be in dere, George. You're sposed to be in heer."
An he pud me down in my habbytat!
I'll tell you da west obba stowy tomorry... cos dere is more toit den jus dis...
Yeah, fings ged worser...