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Sunday, 4 July 2004
Day One / Seventh Strand
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: YO! HOPPY BIRFDAY TO US!
YO!
Hoppy Birfday to Us!

Beebe-Bunny heer. Is dis ting on? Yeah, well Whooo-Hooooo! It's Birfday Day at Our Warren!

Now heer's Mouse to tell ya aboudda Birfday Day:

Mouse: *ahem* Thank you, Beeb for that...errrr... amazing introduction.

It is, indeed, Birfday Day at Our Warren. Perhaps you are wondering how this can be, that eight bunnies, two cats and one dawg can share the same Birthday. Is it co-incidence? Actually, it is not.

Everybun in Our Warren is a rescue. We all come from different backgrounds and situations. Each of us came to Our Warren at a different time in our lives. Babby George here has arrived as a youngbun; I came as a six-year-old adult. None of us really knows our actual date of birth.

So I've asked Hunny, the oldest bunny in the Warren, to explain how Our Warren's dating system works.

Hunny: Fank yoo, Mouse.
When I furst arribed atta Warren, dere was onwy Heatherington heer, anna berry wong dawg, named Tristan. Tristan wassa Basset Hound obba Gen'rous Nat'chur, whom Maman hadda 'dopted frumma shelter when he was One Year Old. Da papers frumma shelter sed dat he had been borned on 4 Jooly.

So when it wassa 4 Jooly da furst year Heatherington an I were inna Warren, Maman made Tristan a doggie cake outta 'Milk Bone' brand dawg biscuits. An Tristan sed to us, "Wanna hab sum?" An we sed, "Id's nod our birfday." an we was sad, cos we didn't know whutta birfday wus, bud it wooked wike fun.

An Tris sed, "So when is id your Birfday?" an Heatherington, who wassa Black-an-white Dutch wooked downatta floor an sed, "We dunno. We don't habba birfday."

An Tristan flopped down onna floor wif us, wif his big ol' nose on his big paws an wooked at'tus wif his Basset eyes an sed, "Dat's nod rite, not to habba birfday. Maman allus tweats me 'peshul onna birfday." Den he put his hed up an kinda snuffled an sed, "Wook, I know, I'mma big dawg, so id preddy much stands to rezon dat I habba big birfday. Must be pwenty ob room innit for widdle bunnies. So I kin share. You kin habba birfday onna same day wif me. Howzzat?"

An so Heatherington and I sed dat was gweat and fanked him for bein' such a gen'rous dawg anna good friend. An Tristan sneezed an sed it's whut "Fambly" does.

So Tristan told Maman aboud sharin da birfday, an Maman made 'peshul salads for us an handed oud extry tweats to ebberybun in honour obba day. An Tristan god extry pats for bein sucha 'peshully good and gen'rous dawg.

So ebenchually, Tristan had more an more birfdays, an god older an older. Finally, when he was eighteen yeers old, he weft us forda Rainbow Bridge.

So now alla us togedder hab our birfdays onna 4th ob Jooly cos Tristan shared his 'peshul day wif us.

So now, I'm gonna wet Babby George announce alla birfdays.

Babby George:
Tidday, we are sellybratin da birfdays ob:
Hunny who is 13 yeers old tidday
Poet who is 12 yeers old tidday
Belinda who is 10 yeers old tidday
Mouse who is 7 yeers old tidday
Beebe-Bunny who is 7 yeers old tidday
Clover who is 4 yeers old tidday
Missy-Bun who is 3 yeers old tidday
Babby George who is 1 year old tidday (dis is me!)
Anna Catz:
KayCee-Kitty who is 7 yeers old tidday
Cokie-da-Fat-Cat who is 6 yeers old tidday
An Zachary-Marcus, Border Collie dawg, who is 9 yeers old tidday.
An dat is Our Warren.

Belinda: Dat was berry gud, Babby. You hab done berry well fora widdle bunny-boy. Maman will be bwingin up my salad soon, so I'll share a weaf wif you for bein such a gud bunny-childer.

Da fing is, dat wife issa Cirkul. You kin see da Cirkul ebberywhere, inna cirkul obba yeer, where da monfs follow each udder wike beads onna stwing, anna Seasons follow each udder wun afta anudder. Da yeers spin past, sum bedder, sum worse, bud all-in-all, each wun preddy much wike da wuns bifore an wike da wuns afta. Bunnies are borned an udder bunnies go toda Rainbow Bridge. Dis is how id is, how id is 'posed to be.

We wearn frum each odder, teach each udder an share wif each udder, allus growin, allus geddin bedder an doin id togedder. Dis issa Warren, alla us Togedder, Nobunny OnAlone.

HOPPY BIRFDAY TO ALLA US TOGEDDER !

An Fanks, Tristan...

Posted by Our Warren at 9:41 AM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 4 July 2004 9:44 AM EDT
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Monday, 28 June 2004
Day Twelbe / Sixth Strand
You know whut? Hoomins are weird.

I am nod typin dis to be specieist, I'm jus typin id cos id is troo.

Frumma Bunny Perspektib, Hoomins don mak a whole lotta sense.

Wet me run dis hextample past you an see whut you fink.

Wet's say dat you are Nod Intellygent, wike Babby George heer, an you need to wearn sumfing.

Now dere is nuffink wronk wif bein Nod Intellygent. Ebberybun stawts oud dis way. Nobun is borned knowin ebberyfing dat I know, or dat Hunny knows. We hab libbed a wong time an wearned a wotta fings. Our job is to pass downna stuff dat we hab wearned.

You wif me so far?

Gud.

Now, dere is nuffin wronk wif bein Nod Intellygint, as I typed. Id happins. Id is pawtta Wife.

If you are a bunny, you godda wisten to bunnies wike Hunny an me.

If you are Hoomin, you kin go toa Skool where you kin wearn to become Intellygint. Dey tell you fings dere, an you ged Home-Werk where you kin praktis da stuff dey told you aboud.

So dis seems to me wike a gud deal. For bunnies, we don ged Home-Werk. We hab to 'sperience stuff da Hard Way a wotta times, speshully if a bun don wisten to me.

An if you are nod careful, 'speriencin stuff da Hard Way kin ged you killed.

I habbin't herd ob ennybun geddin killed by Home-Werk.

So.

Dere issa guy where my Dadda werks, an he doesn't know alla stuff my Dadda knows. He is Nod Intellygint, bud dat's hokay. Intellygince can be wearned. You are 'spected to wearn.

Bud dis guy god upsed an angree abouddit.

Well, dat's stoopid, becos nobun kin know ebberyfing.

An so dis guy was berry nasty to Dadda cos Dadda knew fings dat dis guy didn't. Dadda called it "envy".

Bunnies don god dat "Envy" fing, whutebber id is. If we dunno sumfing, we axt.

So ennyways, dis guy geds himself sent toda Skool to wearn sumfing dat Dadda alreddy knows aboud. Fair enuf. Id will help dis guy to become Intellygint.

Budda guy geds Home-Werk.

An he wantsta mak Dadda DO IT FOR HIM.

Whut? Whut's da point ob dis guy goin toda Skool to wearn sumfing if da onwy way he kin wearn id ista doda HomeWerk, bud he's gonna ged sumbun else to doda Home-Werk FOR him? Dadda don nedda doda Home-Werk, cos he's alreddy done it. Dis guy NEEDS to do id, bud he wants sumbun else to doit FOR him.

He is nebber gonna ged Intellygint. Pwobably cos he don wanna. Which is Stoopid.

So now Dadda is angree. He an Maman hadda wong tawk boud "ethiks" an "honour" an "troof" an "honestee". An Dadda sed he hadda wook at his own face inna mirror when he shabbed. I guess so, cos he issn't shabbin ennybunny else's face. An he sed dat he can't pud up wif alla personal insults, lies, harrassmint, threats an disrespeck no more. Cobberin up an back-stabbin is nod his way.

An Dadda sed: You eidder say you can do sumfing or you say why you can't. You don cheat da man what hired you, or pway him fora fool. An you don tell stowies an be rood, an you can't be habbin wif dem as does.

An Dadda also sed he's tired ob dwessin up wike a rag-bag ebbery mawnin jus cos da rest obb'em inna office do. He was raised to wear a collar an tie wike da profwesshunal he is, dammnitall. Golf-shirts be-dammed! Dey bewong onna golf-course, nod inna office!

We was almost singin "Rool Britannya", wemmie tell you.

So heer we go agin aroun heer. I can't ebben be sik in peace. At weast I'm geddin my salad.

Bud hoomins are berry weird.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:44 AM EDT
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Thursday, 24 June 2004
Day Elebben / Sixth Strand
Nobunny OnAlone.

Bemember dis. I can't say it enuf so I'm gonna deboat a whole blog to it today. Nobunny OnAlone.

If dere is wum message dat I hab twied to hammer home heer wif dis blog, id is datta bunny's biggest fear is to be OnAlone.

Bein OnAlone means dat you hab no Warren. You are outside da protekshun obba Warren, on your own, wif nobunny to care for you an no bunny for you to care aboud. Id is unnatchural an id is frightenin. Bein OnAlone issa most terrible fing dat dere is. Nobunny shuld EBBER hab to be OnAlone!

Ebbery bunny, wike ebbery person, hassa speshul personality, speshul fings, gifts, dat make dat bunny who he/she is. Sum bunnies are Top Bunnies. Sum Bunnies are nach'ral nurse bunnies who welcome udder bunnies innu da Warren, an watch oud alla time to make shure dat ebberybun is all-rite. Sum bunnies are defender bunnies who proteck da Warren frum ennymees. Sum bunnies are comforter bunnies who snuggle up to a skeert or hurt bunny an bwing it a sense of companionship. Sum bunnies are alarm bunnies who wisten an watch an den *thump* like mad to warn da udders when dere is dangers. Sum bunnies are fooders who allus are onna wook-oud for good fings forda warren to eat. Sum bunnies are nat'chural diggers who know how to make a shelter outta nuffin at all.

Da point is dat nun ob us are awike. Dere are allus bunnies wif dif'frint talwents gaddered innu a Warren. Alla talwents, den, ensure dat alla bunnies inna Warren habba comfortyable wife togedder an datta kits dat come innu da Warren are well-cared-for an safe.

We all NEED each udder.

A bunny OnAlone mite habba speshul talwent, bud dat talwent will onwy go so far by itself. It can't gib dat bunny ebberyfing dat bunny needs.

Caring FOR sumbunny is as impawtant as habbin sumbunny care aboud you.

Usin your talwent to help udders is as impawtant as bein helped.

Feelin useful is sumfing ebberybunny needs to do. Ebben if da onwy useful fing you kin do is sid around watchin kits or dispensin adbice, it's all still useful. Dat's why, inna Warren, ebben da berry owd bunnies is still impawtant an cherished.

Maman sed dat Our Warren heer is a mettyfor for society. I dunno aboud dat. I jus know dat we hab eight bunnies libbin heer an dat Maman won't wet nobunny be OnAlone. She unnerstans dat Warrens exist inna wild cos dey NEED to exist. She hassa Warren heer cos we NEED wun as well as want one.

My time heer is wimited. I know dis. An I'm nod afraid to leeb. Dere is da Rainbow Bridge, an Hawthorn is waitin. I wish Maman wuldn't cry when I go, bud I know she is gonna. It's inna natchur ob Maman an Dadda to cry, just as it's inna natchur ob me not to. Where I'm goin, dey can't follow just now, just wike I couldn't follow Hawthorn when he weft. Bud he an I tawked it ober an he knew dat I wuld come awong when da time was rite. He knew he wuldn't be OnAlone where he was goin, an he knew I wuldn't be weft OnAlone heer. So it's hokay.

Nobunny OnAlone. Just bemember dat, if you nebber bemember ennyfing else dat I've told you.

An go tell udder peebles: Nobunny OnAlone.

When you smile at udder peebles, tell dem dat you're doin it cos Nobunny shuld ebber be OnAlone.

When you reskew a bunny in distwess, or a kitty or a doggie, tell dem dat id is bekaws Nobunny shuld ebber be OnAlone.

When you gibe sumfing to sumwun who needs it, do it bekaws you are makin sure dat dey are not OnAlone.

Do nice fings for udders becaws Nobunny shuld be OnAlone.

Be whatebber you are, an be da best dat you kin be so dat you're allus reddy to help sumwun not be OnAlone. Da bedder you are, da more you can help sumone nod be OnAlone.

I hab told ebberybun datta blog hasta keep runnin, ebben if I am sik, so dey know dis. Hunny has bin helpin oud wif da udders, too.

Cos we're not gonna leeb ennybunny OnAlone.

I can't be habbin wif dat.

Posted by Our Warren at 11:54 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 22 June 2004
Day Ten / Sixth Strand
Yeah, well, I'm heer. As dat guy Mark Twain sed, "Da repowts ob my def..." sumfing, sumfing. Nebber mind. I'll wook it up waiter in wun ob Maman's buks. Not wike dere aren't enuf obb'em aroun heer.

I'm fankful to Hunny for takin ober da Blog while I was bein sik. He ebben figgered oud howta do da pikchur fing, which I haddn' figgered oud howta do. He always tawks aboud how he can't unnerstan da "noo teknology" bud gib him a few minits an don distract him, an he geds dere ebenchually.

Ebbery warren needs to keep its older citizens as pawt ob its kultchur. Hunny may nod be da Top Bun heer, bud his contra-boo-shuns are still baluable. I still fink datta hoomins need to hextamin lagomorphic society interactions. We hab a co-operativb society from whose model your competitib, tribal-based society could benefit. Dere has bin berry widdle study dun in dis area, too, so I'm preddy sure dat you graduate students oud dere culd ged study-gwants, too. It's all in how you werd dat gwant applykashun...

So ennyways, I'm geddin two kinds ob meddysin an alla salad I kin eat. An I'm still woosin weight.

I can't be habbin wif dis.

Geddin old issa outwight indiggity. Nobun axted me if I wanted to ged old. I didn't axt for fings to go wrong wif me.

Poet sed I shuld gwow old "gwacefully".

An I sed, "Pooties to dat!"

I habbin't nebber bin gwaceful an I don intend to stwawt now. Why shuld I bodder?

I'm leebin da "eccentriks" to Maman, cos she does dem rilly good, an leebin bein "gwaceful" to Poet, cos she don know wut else to do, bud I god werk to do.

Furst ob all, dere is dis darned Babby. He's tawkin to me alla time. He don wanna be weft awone. He's skert. He's widdle. He's not 'Tellygint yet. An he don know appils frum his butt. Bud he finks he's cute assa button an has alla conbersayshunal skills obba half-baked housebrick.

Sekund ob all, dere is Mouse, who is habbin a Crisis ob Faith-In-Hisself. How he can pootie uppa wall almost his own height in wun aftanoon an nod belieb in hisself enuf to be Top Bun, beats me, bud heer we are. So he onwy comes up to my shoulder - dynamite comes in small packages, too. Bud I'm habbin trubble conbincin him ob dis cos he's nebber seed dynamite dat he can bemember. Needer hab I, but Maman says dis a wot, so it must be troo. Mebbe it is also inna buk sumwheres (which is where she geds 99% ob her ideas inna furst pwace).

Obviouswy, I need to go digest a buk. Mebbe it will help my tummy wif dis dia-ree-ha fing.

Hebbin knows I need sumfing to bung uppa werks, cos I can't be habbin wif dis, eidder.


Posted by Our Warren at 9:49 AM EDT
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Thursday, 17 June 2004
Day Nine / Sixth Strand


Hullo... me, Hunny heer...

Since Belinda had her picture heer, I thought I would hab mine heer, too. Afterall, I amma Senior Bun atta Warren an I wassa Top Bun before Belinda, so I will habba picture of me heer, too. It was taken inna yeer 2000 so I look a liddle bid older now, cos I amma liddle bid older.

Belinda is suddenly geddin bedder. Nobun can splain it, it is just happening by herself. Maman an Dadda are 'mazed. They keep commin to look at her an den to look at eachudder an hug each udder.

They keep saying "I can't beliebit."

Yes, buttit is rite there in her habbytat - Belinda.

She is eating a lot of salad. She told me she issn't reddy to leeb just yet. Most bunnies don habba presance ob mind to tell da Black Rabbit to come back later, bud Belinda does.

Last nite, she hadda talk wif me. We talked aboudda Top Bun. Nobun is reddy to be Top Bun. She asked me an I told her, straight up, I'm too old. I'll be firteen soon. Dat's too old. I wanna eat hay an nap, not run things an hab to be responsible. Dat's why I turned da whole mess ober to her inna furst place.

An Clover alreddy told her dat she would do it temp'rary, bud that there's too much involved for her to look after Beebe an run the place. And Clover has never been about details, ennyway. She's a very laid-back bunny. You hab to like details to be Top Bun. My Maggie liked details, so she made me go out ebbery nite an gett'em, an I did, but as soon as Belinda wanted to do it an Maggie went ober da Rainbow Bridge, I let Belinda habba job.

An Beebe doesn't wanna job unless he can habba hare-im, an in ennycase, Clover sed he can't habba job because she won't hab him habbin da job, an Missy won't eidder. An Missy sed she's too young to be Top Bun yet, and dat's dat.

Poet just wants to re-arrange our hay mound. She issa bun traumatised by the way she was raised for sebben years before she came heer, so it's okay. She's dellycate an I just like her bein able to become herself an hab her freedom to walk around wiffout being skeert alla time. It's nice she hassa hay-pile, you know?

So Belinda asked Mouse, an Mouse, well, he said he was too new atta Our Warren. He wassa Top Bun at his warren before he got heer, but it wassa smaller warren wif only him an Luckie-bun an one hoomin. Not like this one with eight bunnies an at least two hoomins, an two hoomins dat are allus habbin stoopid ideas at dat, on toppa two catz (one who is uppity an one who is just about as stoopit assa hole inna ground) dat think they hab rites an all.

So Belinda sed to me, "Well, sod dat fora game ob soljers. I can't go, can I? Da Bwack Rabbit jus hasta wate his turn cos I can't be habbin wif dis no-way, no-how. Dis is my warren an I'm nod gonna leeb it inna mess jus cossa sumfing dats decided to gwow inside ob me. I'll pud off seein Hawthorn for a widdle. He'll be dere, waidin for me, bud he knows I godda stay heer an ged dis pwace sorted oud furst. Beisdes, sumbuns godda take care obba Maman an bwing up Babby an goodness knows whut else! Hebbin kin wate."

And I can unnerstand whut she means, becos I wassa Top Bun, too, until she was readdy to take over alla 'sponsibilities ob being Top Bun.

So I told Belinda, "Hab som hay, hab your salad an habba nap. You can't walk da 'Lantic as Maman says. Just go one paw atta time an don keep looking atta horizon - just mind where your paws are going. You can't walk on wadder an you can't bring the horizon closer or whistle uppa wind; you just go one paw afta the udder."

An Belinda said, "Sounds gud to me. Now call Maman, will you? Fro your tin cup or sumfing. Cos my hay-pile is geddin all fwat and I can't be habbin wiffat..."

Posted by Our Warren at 12:15 PM EDT
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Wednesday, 16 June 2004
Day Eight / Sixth Strand


Hullo... me, Hunny heer...

Dis issa picture of Belinda. I want ebberybun to see her.

Sumbunnies doubted dat she issa real bunny. Well, she is.

Look atta Picture and you can see dat she issa real, lib bunny anna pretty one, too.

She is nine years old. This is old fora bunny. (I am older, though, because I am twlebe.)

She is up dis morning an she is sitting with her ears up. She is talkin to Maman. Maman only unnerstand one werd ob Lagomorph, "Whut?" She repeats it over an over. For an eddykated womin, dis is pretty pafetik, howebber, Dadda also has learned only dis same werd.

Belinda says dat we are lucky cos a wotta hoomins nebber learn enny werds in Lagomorphin. Thinking back onnit, I guess she is rite.

I don like the way Belinda sits so still. I didn like it when she was inta my business alla time, eidder, but that was bedder than dis. I guess if I hadda pick, I would radder hab her be bossy an innu alla my stuff than not to be yellin at me.

Sumtimes you need to hab udder rabbits yellin at you.

It let's you know that ebberyting is the way it issa'posed to be.

Posted by Our Warren at 1:39 PM EDT
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Tuesday, 15 June 2004
Day Sebben / Sixth Strand
Hullo, me, Hunny heer.

I hab to type this:

BELINDA IS VERY SICK.

I dunno whut else to say. We are watching her. Maman an Dadda are watching. Dr Sharin an Dr Doolen hab seed her.

Whut else can we do?

We are prayin, an rubbin our lucky rabbits' feet an waitin.

It will be a long nite for alla us togedder at Our Warren. NoBunny OnAlone.

Bud dis issa Cirkil. I hab seed it bifore. I don like it, but I hab seed it.

Posted by Our Warren at 7:25 PM EDT
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Friday, 11 June 2004
Day Six /Sixth Strand
You know, habbin Babby aroun is geddin to be wun ob "Dose" fings. I'd fortygotted whut it was wike, waitin fora babby to ged Intellygint. Bud dis is wike a chronic twain wreck dat just keeps on happinin - da engins hab alweddy met an da cars just keep on collwidin inna nebber-endin wine, wun rite afta anudder.

Babby isn't stoopid, it's just dat he issn Intellygint yet. It's cos he'ssa babby. We just habba wait it oud.

Furst fing Maman an Dadda noticed aboud dis kid was dat he didn't know whutta "tweat" was. Dey offered him carrots, appuls, papaya tablets, Craisins, nanners, an ebberyfing else dat Maman calls "junk food" which da rest ob us lub, an he jus wooked all perplexed an suspishus addid. An weft it wyin onna floor - which issa waste obba perfectwy good tweat dat ennywun obba rest ob us wuld lub to hab, bud wasn't offered, you know? (An don gedda idea datta bunny is ebber "too full" to scarf down dat wun extry mouf-ful, cos we aren't.)

So rite away, cos da Babby doesn't know whutta tweat is, he's god Maman feelin sowwy for him.

Poor depribed widdle bunny, hasn't nebber seed a tweat! Poor widdle bunny-boy! Wet's offer him wots!

An she does.

Well, hokay, I'm all for sharin an it's nod wike we don't hab it to share. Bud dis gibbin is nod goin to make Babby Intellygint. Dis is jus gonna make him spoilt.

Den Maman finks datta Babby wooks bored.

Well, I gots dis wun werked oud. Dis Babby issa babby an babbys don know much, so ob course dey are bored. Until dey become Intellygint an kin habba blog an all, dey is bound to be bored.

Bud Maman is big innu keepin ebberybun amused. So she goes toda store an now da Babby hassa habbytat fulla toys.

New toys.

We still god our reg'lar toys, an onwy Missy geds her rotated onna weekwy basis, cos Maman is 'fraid ob Missy geddin bored.

Newsflash to Maman: Missy is now Intellygint. She's god alla toys memorized, so dey are nodda surprize ebbery week when you switch dem off.

Geez.

So wast nite, we god our salads an our witter-boxes changed an Maman was inna bafroom pwace habbin fun wif wadder an Beebe stawts to thump. Den Missy thumps.

Bud Maman can't hear ennyfing cos she's innu da wadder.

Den dere issa crash anna WOTTA thumpin goin on. Inkloodin me. An when I thump, Maman AN Dadda wistins.

So Dadda comes chargin frumma bedroom in his unnerwear, an heer comes Maman smellin wike a hextploshun inna herb faktory - all honey, almonds, mints an aloe. (Stuff on her face, her hands, teef an Hebbin knows where else...)

An da wight snaps on...

An when our eyes adjust toda hunnert-watt artyfishul daywight obba wight, an we aren't all bwind ennymore, dere's Babby, twyin his best to fit six pounds ob bunny fru a free-inch hole innu Missy's habbytat.

An dere's Missy, wif her butt inna corner, wookin fora way oud da udder end.

An Maman squeeks, "George!" (Cos she finks dat's Babby's name.)

An Babby is wike, "Oh good Lord, where am I?"

An Missy is wike, "Oh good Lord, let me out!"

An I'm wike, "Sumbunny gedda idiots sorted oud cos I wanna go to sleep!"

An Hunny is ober on his hay-pile wike, "Huh?"

An Beebe an Mouse are struttin, cos dere wike dat an Clover has da same 'pinion dat I do.

Whut had happined was datta Babby jumped outta his habbytat an falled onna floor. Which issn all dat easy, cossa sides obba habbytat are preddy high - 24 inches, Dadda says. Preddy good for a standin leap, bud Missy's dun it bifore.

So onct Babby had gotted oud, an Maman an Dadda comed poundin forda door, an turned onna wight an blinded ebberywun, Babby panicked, god himself turned aroun an twied to ged inna habbytat wif Missy outta sheer desparatshun.

So Maman piked him up an set him down in his own habbytat an Dadda godda piece ob wattice an pud id onna toppa Babby's habbytat so he wuld "Stay Pud" durin da nite.

An he did.

Cos you onwy do fings wike dat wunce an den you wearn, and dat's how you become Intellygint.

Bud dis waidin for Babby to gwow Intellygint is geddin on my nerbs.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:57 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 8 June 2004
Day Fibe / Sixth Strand
Hullo Bailey. It's Belinda.

Yeah, I'm still heer, takin meddysin an eatin salads. In fak, I spend a wotta my time wookin for more salad an tellin off dat pesty Babby, George, who is libbin nextest door now. I want Missy to moob back ober heer! Dis kid has gotta go! He's still god dose darn berries an all he does alla day wong is tawk, tawk, tawk an twy to 'press me wif how cute he is. Maman bedder make dat V-E-T 'pointmint to ged him fixt, cos dis Babby keeps on goin wike wun bwokin rekord! "Wook at me, I'm kyoot! Wook at me, I'm kyoot!" Whew!

I know I'm fallin down onna job ob keepin uppa web site an I'm sorry. I wosted free pounds frum bein sik an I'm twyin to pudd'em back on. I'm eatin wots ob salad - two cups ebbery day wif hay anna oat groats. Dr Doolen sed dat shuld be enuf for me to gain back alla weight I wosted, bud I'd wike more. I hab pellets, too, bud I've decided I don wike dem.

An I ged WUN stinkin Craisin a day when I take my meddysin at noon. Wun! I usta ged wike sebben or ate. At weast a mouf-full. An I run an jump an buzz an ebberyfing an wun wousey Craisin. I ged a slice ob appul at nite, doh bud I habbin't seed a nanner in ages. Dis "No Sugar" V-E-T Dr Fanders has gotta go! I do hab blooberries, doh an dose rasberries fings. Hey Guinness, is you starbed for tweats, too? Cricket? Boomer? Ms Bunns? Freckles? We all mite be biktims ob dis anti-nanner woomin, you know.

My pharmacist guy gotted a noo flabour for my meddysin called "Berry-berries" an I wike it. Gots rose oil innit. An my Auntie Irene stopped by wiffa bag ob gwape-weaves she gwowed organikwy herself. She didn't ged no gwapes, so she's gibbin me da weabes. Raised a bumper cwop ob leabes, doh, ebben if she didn ged no gwapes, so it wassn wike she wasted her time.

An Hunny, I dunno, he runned wif froot wast nite afta skerrin Maman haf to def by almost dyin by geddin himself stuck half-way outta his diggy-box. So wike, afta he'd cooled down an stawted to breathe normal agin, Dadda gabe him his appul, an Hunny ran wiffit to his hay-pile an eeted his appul dere. He hasn't runned wif froot in wike forebber. More wike scrambled wif froot, bud you gedda idea. Den he god mad at Poet cos she parked her big round Dutchy butt inna middle obba hay-pile.

Maman hadda rebuild da hay-pile dis mawnin so id is big agin. Missy is frowin her toss-toys at Beebe cos he is sucha jerk. He keeps runnin uppindownna side obba habbytat axtin her to come lib wif him an Clover so he kin habba "hare-im". Clover told Missy to come on ober ennytime an dey kin play football wif Beebe. An I god Babby heer tellin me alla time how cute he is an Mouse is ober dere yellin dat he kin kick da Babby's butt, an I can't be habbin wif dis...

So I godda wook for more food an tell off dis kid. Da fings you godda do aroun heer when you're Top Bun! (Hmmm, I fink I jut typed my blog!)

Frum your friend at Our Warren
Belinda Bunny

Posted by Our Warren at 6:41 AM EDT
Monday, 7 June 2004
Day Three / Sixth Strand - Oudda Seekwence Entree!!
BELINDA: ***whisper, nudge*** Gowan, id won hurd you. Just pwess da keys an say whut you fink... ***skurry, nudge, ear-waggle****

***

Hullo? Dis is Babby. Belinda sed I culd type heer. She sed I culd innerdoose myself cos I am pawt obba warren.

I amma widdle bid skirt. Dis issa big hummy machine. Anna housz is berry quiet. Dadda wernt to werk. Maman is lyin down cos she issn feelin gud - too much going on, Belinda sed. Belinda sed Maman dossen handle too much goin on good.

Da Lad lef onna hairplane yestiddy. Da V-E-Ts is gonna do sumfin serious to his weg. Maman came home an cried, and cried. I hope he comes home agin toda Warren. I wike him.

I dunno whut to say aboud comin heer. I god weft inna box atta V-E-Ts. Now I am heer. I godda pen nextest door to Belinda. Maman sed I amma messy bunny. She hasta sweep up afta ma alla time. I can flop out full length heer an stand up on my back feets wif my nose hanging ober da top. I kin see Hunny an Poet. An I kin see Clover an Beebe. If I stretch I kin see Missy an Mouse. An Belinda is rite nextest store.

Maman comes inna mawnin an gibs us hay to ead. Den Hunny says we habba take a nap. Sum days Maman opins our windown so smells frum oudside ged in. I habba toy ball to push wif a bell innit an dis big box wif hay an dees noospaper pellets innit. I habba salad bowl anna pellet bowl anna wadderboddle.

Id is berry quiet heer. Justa birdies an us. Maman is berry quiet.

Belinda sed datta Black Rabbit was heer not wong ago an dats why Maman is quiet. Mouse sed da Black Rabbit taked Luckie wif him. Mouse is sad aboud dis. Mouse wants to cuddle wif sumbun, bud he don know who. Maman is hopin to help him figger it oud. Mebbe Belinda when Belinda is all bedder. Belinda issa Top Bun heer.

I fink I wuld wike sumbun to cuddle wif, too. Mebbe Missy. She is aboud my size. She is berry shy doh.

I dunno. How wong does it take to fid in heer? Ebberybunny seems to fid, but I don fid yet. Will it take wong for me to be pawt ob dis Warren? I still feel noo. Will da noo feelin wear off? I don wanna be noo forebber. I wanna fid in. I wanna bea pard obba warren, too. I just wish I knew how to do dat.

Id is wonewy being noo, ebben when wbberybunny is bein nice to you.

I guess dat's all I hab to say just now, Belinda. Issit hokay?

***

BELINDA: ***wookin*** Uhoh... alla dates is messed up. Nebber mind. I dodat alla time, too. Yestidday is tidday an tomorry takes care ob idself, sumhow.

So da peebles gots two fings to reed tidday cos obba day bifore yestidday's blog bein posted tidday on top ob tidday's blog. Id's hokay, kiddo; you dun good. Da reeders kin find dere own ways 'round.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:17 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 7 June 2004 10:26 AM EDT
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Day Four / Sixth Strand
Well, I wuz readin da noospapers wif Maman agin dis mawnin an readed dat Pwince Michael ob Kent (he libs in Inkwand where Dadda comes frum) went to a dinner gibben by da Grand Wadder Rats. Id says inna Daily Mirror dat da Pwince issa Companion Rat.

I know sum Companion Bunnies in Australia - dey bewong toda Australian Companion Rabbit Society an habba web-site you kind bisit wiffa chat feetchur an ebberyfing! So I guess dat dere can be Companion Ratties in Inkwand. Anna hoomin Pwince wantin to be a Companion Rat issa good fing. It will gib Ratties ebberywhere sum good pub'wicity which ratties allus need. Too menny hoomins fink bad fings aboud ratties as companion annymals.

Now dat Maman's Mom-mom is berry sik an nod wikewy to ebber come back to her houz agin, Maman is finkin how she kin werk it so dat Zachary Marcus, da Collie Dawg, can become a Therapy Companion Pet. Zachary Marcus has alreddy had Two Yeers ob Obedience Skool, so Maman is gonna take him an enroll him inna Delta Society Therapy Companion Pet Pwogwam so he can be certyfied to be a Therapy Pet an go visitin his Mom-mom. Maman feels he will extsell at dis as he issa friendwy dawg wif a wotta energy anna wotta personal'ty. An Maman werks good wif dawgs.

Dadda says Maman is preddy stwessed oud. I jus sit wif her an be her Companion Bunny.

Phil da Lad has bin callin frum sumpwace called "Norfok". Da Naby is werkin on his weg agin. He sed id issn too bad bud he fortygod to pack enuf boxsters agin an he's godda finda NEX inna hurry. He is eatin wots ob food so far, an dere issa gym an id issa big pwace an geddin aroun is a widdle hard when your weg don werk. So far da V-E-Ts habbin't done nuffin bud wook an tell him to repord bak ad oh-six-hunnert.

So he's been bein a Companion Peeble to udder hoomins dere who are sad or OnAlone cos he is bored. Maman says prayers wif us at nite an she allus axts her Dadda to be wif da Lad, cos her Dadda, Our Bim who singed da Spring Song, he wuz wike dat, allus goin up to peebles who wuz OnAlone an sayin, "Hi! I'm Bill Cost." He didn say he wuza Perfesser ora Doktor or ennyfing, jus "Hi! I'm Bill Cost." an den stawted tawkin to dem an findin oud whut wuz on dere minds.

He made a wotta friends dis way. An Our Bim wearned to do dis frum His Dadda, who Maman calls "Granddaddy" who wassa Presbeterian Minnyster. He used to go up to peebles who wuz OnAlone, hold oud his hand an say, "Hi! I'm Harry Cost." Nod Da Reverend or ennyfing else, jus "Harry Cost". An he made a wotta friends dis way, too.

So wast nite whenna Lad called, he sed dat when he wuz in his "rak" (whutebber dat is) he hadda funny feelin dat Bim was standin dere nextest to him, bud when he turned ober to wook, dere wuz no wun dere. Well, Bim went ober da Rainbow Bridge awhile ago. Bud Maman DID axt him to go an sid wif Phil, so mebbe he wuz standin dere wike she axted him to do.

An now da Lad is goin up to guys dat are OnAlone an sayin, "Hi! I'm Phil da Gimp." an holdin oud his hand, jus wike his Bim did.

No bunny OnAlone. You see, I bin sayin dat alla'long. Don leeb nobunny OnAlone. Da twainin to be a Companion Annymal can't be dat hard if Zachary Marcus da Collie Dawg is gonna do it. Pwobably you don ebben hab to go to Therapy Pet Twainin to do it. Jus go up to sumbun who is OnAlone, hold outta hand an say, "Hi! I'm ____(add your name here)___." an dat shuld be enuf to ged you stawted.

Whut'cha fink?

Posted by Our Warren at 8:57 AM EDT
Updated: Monday, 7 June 2004 10:12 AM EDT
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Thursday, 3 June 2004
Day Too / Sixth Strand
Hullo. Me, Hunny heer. I am takin ober Belinda's Blog just for tiday so she kin habba rest. She has bin sik an needs ta rest a widdle.

Whut happined wuzza salad. Maman boughtted salad frumma good compiny an fed it to ebberybun frumma bag. She didn't fink she needed to washe it furst cos it said onna bag dat it had all reddy bin washed an wuz reddy for da table. Well, it wassn't. It had sumfing innit. Sumfing bad.

Whutebber it wuz, it made Luckie so sik dat da Black Rabbit comed almost right away. Den he stayed, hovverin ober Belinda's habbytat. Bud Maman made him leeb. Maman is still afraid dat he is lurkin, so she's still gibbin Belinda meddysin an wookin at Belinda's pooties, but Belinda seems to be hokay. She's a fighter, dat gurl.

Den Maman, an Sistah an Dadda all comed inna Bun Room armed wif mops an brooms an duspans an bukits an dere wassa gen'ral cleen. Poet tried to hang on to her pootie box, but Sistah pushed her oud obbit wif Mr Broom and taked it to Maman inna bafroom. It god vinnygur an wader pud innit an washed reel good and wooks wike noo, now. Alla floors god washed wif vinnygur, too, an so did alla sides anna big floor an dis pwace smelled wike a pickle facktory.

Dadda opined alla winders to wet da airs bwow fru.

An den Dadda pud da Babby in next door to Clover and Beebe - bud dat didn't werk. Da Babbby stawted a pootie war rite away an Maman sed, "We'll nod be habbin dis." So oud comed da Babby an in went Missy.

So while Missy was all confoozled, dere was suddenly a wotta thumpin goin on an Maman an Dadda raced uppystairs and dere wuz Beebe - he'd forced his way into Missy's Habbytat an brought Clover wif him, so dat dere were FREE bunnies inna space ment for wun!

So Dadda hadda sort dat out.

An Maman told Beebe dat she can't be habbin wif dat.

So den waiter, Maman comed up wif appuls an my stoopit meddycin an I hadda meddycin anna appul an sum hay an sum pellets while I was sittin in my diggy box, cos Poet won't ged outta da pootie box. An Maman washed out tin cup but Poet don't want dat eidder. She just wants to sit inna pootied box in case sumbun tries to take it away again.

I just wet her ged on wiffit. Sooner or waiter, she'll ged hungree an hafta come oud.

No bun can stay cooped up forebber. It's wun fing to be afraid, an it's good to be cautious, but you can't stay so fraid dat you won't come outta da pootied box. Cos da food won't come to you. You gotta go to da food. An da wadder won't come to you. You godda go to da wader. An you mite as well be nice aboud it onna way.

Cos if you is nice to sumbun, who knows? Dey might be nice back. It werks dat way. Smiles an ear fwaps an nosebonks are contagious.

Posted by Our Warren at 7:53 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 1 June 2004
Day One / Sixth Strand
Maman says dat sumtimes when fings jus "Ged to be too much" id it good for her to tell us a stowy. An wif Luckie goin wiffa Black Rabbit so sudden, an me bein sik, anna Mom-mom being berry sik, anna Lad habbin to hab his knee fixted, an hoomins bein just pwain stoopid at Dadda's werk, anna Bun Room geddin swichted aroun, Maman figgers dat we all needa stowy. (She's feelin preddy helpwess just now.)

So she came in dis mawnin, an opined Babby's gate, an Hunny's gate, an Missy an Beebe an Clover's gates an sat wif her back to my gate so I culd snuffle her an so she was sorta facin Mouse an she tawked to alla us togedder. About Inkwand where she used to lib ab where Dadda libbed.

"There issa pwace," She sed, "Where there are mornings like this, where it rains just at night. And then the sun wakes up, lifts its eyelids and then the mists begin to roll away from the hills. And you wake up in your warm bed, and stretch, and know it's time to get up. So you bumble into the kitchen and make the coffee while you're still half asleep, and it's a little chilly, but not unkindly so, and while the coffee is dripping through, you go around and open all the windows, to let the night air out and invite the day-light in. And every window is like a surprise! You pull back the curtains, and there are bright colours, all fresh and washed by the rain.

"Open the front window and there's the street with its dark grey cobbles, and the house across the way with warm yellow stone, just steaming and soaking up the sun. And you can wave to Hilary who is pulling back her curtains, too. And you laugh because you're both wearing bathrobes.

"Then the next window is inna lounge and you pull that curtain back and there's the wide view to the end of the lane - all green with humps and vales where the beck dips down, and every inch is dotted with sheep. And when you open that window, you can hear da widdle babby voices of the little lambs coming in on the cold air, callin for their mawmies.

"And you lift your eyes over those hillocks and it looks like you can see forever over those hills, all way to where the trees appear like misty grey paint brushes scratching fint tinges of colour against the translucent sky.

"Then the next window is deep, narrow one by the fireplace that looks towards the sun just rising over Waddow's Mound. Waddow's Mound is actually an Eighth Century tomb, but it looks like a big pile of grass-covered dirt with flowers growing on it. And there are bunnies living there! Wots ob bunnies! The whole face of Waddow's Hill is just covered with holes and outside of each hole, there's at least one rabbit sitting in the sun, or hopping aournd, looking for the tastiest flower to eat. And I can open the window and call to them, and they don't care! And every day, I toss out some of Poppy's feed for them, and some carrot cuttings from the pub, and some hay, because although they're all fat and happy and undistrubed, it's always nice to have a little more.

And the bunnies watch Maman. And strong wind blows down from Waddow's Hill an on days when Farmer Dayson spreads pooties, it stinks, Maman says, but in a good country way. An Maman always leebs dat winder opin, she says.

An if da wind off Waddow's Hill is rilly cowd, she pokes atta fire wiffa pokey fing an puts black rocks onnit.

An den dere issa nudder small winder ober where her 'cellow is and she opins dat. Dere are roses unner it an sumtimes bees. An Maman allus tells da bees dat dey can stay inna roses bud nod come inside. An dat corner is sheltered by da corner obba garage so dat da wind don bwow dere.

Den she goes an opins da bafroom winder to wet da wind oud. An outside ob dat winder issa garden gate, all bwown and made ob wood, anna garden wall dat is berry high an made of yellow stone. Oud dere issa forecourt where Jack keeps da wheelbarrow anna cuttings anna liddle glass house what has gwape leebs innit, anna organe butt to catch rain wadder to pud onna geraniums dat is in stone pots out frunt.

Den she opens da winders in her office dat oberwook da garden inna back. Sumtimes she stands an wooks atta "chain tree". It's all gold wif chains ob fwowers. To da left ob it is Waddow's Hill an more sheeps. To da right dere are pine trees anna pwace where Shelia, her wandwandy says are da fairies atta end obba garden.

Den Maman geds da coffee and puts it onna tray obbered inna clof. She geds a sugar basin anna milk jug, an she wets oud her bunny, Poppy in her harness, an dey go to see Mrs. Shelia. An den Hilary comes ober an dey hab coffee inna garden, siddin on hard wooden benches inna back garden, An Poppy eats da clober. An Hilary bwings toast.

An whenna church bells rings "half-sebben" Shelia says it's time to ged up an ged moobin. Cos it's a scandle dat dey are wearin dere baf-robes.

Anna sun is high inna sky an dere is no mist, an you kin heer da rumbled obba big tractors going oud toda fields.

An ennyway, Jack an Theresa will be alwong soon to stawt doin fings. An Jack hassa widdle dog named "Jack"...

But dat's anudder stowy, Maman sed. So I will hab to wait to dear id.

Posted by Our Warren at 8:37 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 26 May 2004
Day Twenty-four / 4th Strand
I dunno whut to say. Da Black Rabbit came yestidday an took Luckie-Bun away.

Dadda typed dis, so I will add it heer:

Black Rabbit, Oh Black Rabbit
Our warren saw you today
Black Rabbit, Oh Black Rabbit
You took Lucky Bun away.
Black Rabbit, Oh Black Rabbit
Why did you pass this way?
Black Rabbit, Oh Black Rabbit
I wish you'd stay away.

Luckie, we shall miss you,
Though you were not here for long
You were such a happy Bun,
To loose you is so wrong.
Affectionate and loveable
So sweet and full of charm,
You left us for the Rainbow Bridge
The Land of Peace and Calm.
Poor Mouse is sad and lonely
He misses you, his friend
But he wishes for your happiness
In the Life that never ends.

Luckie-Bun, can you heer me? Tell Hawthorn dat I still bemember him, an dat he wassa bestest husbun ebber hokay? An say 'Hi' to Smokey, an my bestest friend, Willow, an SnoBall ExFoster, an Heatherington Rabbit, an Hunny says "Hullo, I lub you" to Maggie, an we're all berry sorry dat you had to leeb us. An I'll wook afta Mouse for you, so don werry... an, an...

I'm sorry I called you a 'Stoopd Liddle Dweamer', Luckie, cos mebbe da werld needs more dweamers, just to bemind us dat sumtimes dweams - ob safe pwaces, an wots ob hay, an tweats, an nice peebles, an toys an all - rilly can come troo. You weren't stoopid at all, cos you beleebed inna dweam, an you libbed it, furst wif your Liberian Dadda, and when he culdn't keep you, den heer. So you wassn stoopid at all.

I'm gonna miss you, Luckie.

Posted by Our Warren at 8:26 AM EDT
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Monday, 24 May 2004
Day Twenty-Free / 4th Strand
Dis shuld be da Fif Strand to corryspond toda Fif monf which is May. At weast, dat wuzza'riginal idea - dat each Strand would be da same assa monf. Well, dat didn quite werk oud, you'll notice, which is preddy much normal heer at Our Warren.

Oh well.

Ennyway tidday issa 24th day ob May. Nod dat id madders. Cos whut madders is Heer We Go Agin: Dadda has comed up wiffa "noo way" ob geddin hay for us. I herd him tawkin aboud it to Maman.

Now Maman don'wike buyin our hay. She don wike "commercial" hay cos id iss 'spensib an id is not gwown wocally. She says dat if we don buy stuff frumma wocal farmers, soon dere won't be enny wocal farmers. Budda fing is, dere aren't dat menny wocal farmers an dere hay is mostwy gwown for horses an issn all dat gwate for bunnies. Da noo bale dat Maman an Dadda god yestidday, Dadda says mite as well be stwaw, dat's how bad id is.

Bud Maman boughted hay frumm pet store an she didn wike dat eidder. She sed it was too soft, an it costed as much assa bale fora weaf, an besides dat, id was gwowed sumpwace far away an ober-raked ennyways - so sod dat fora game ob soldiers.

So she won't be buyin dat agin.

Inna meantime, we're siddin heer axtin for da good stuff.

So yestidday, Dadda says to Maman dat, "We kin gwow our own hay."

An as soon as I heared dat, I said to Hunny, "Uh oh."

An Clover, who issa optymist, sed, "Nono, wet's heer dis oud."

An Luckie, who issa Stoopid Liddle Dreamer sed, "Maybe dere habbin a GOOD idea."

An Maman sed, "Howzat?" cos she is dumber den Luckie.

An Dadda sed, "Well, we kin wet pard obba garden be turned ober to good gwass. I kin use pooties for fert'lizer."

An rite dere I stawted shakin my hed: Dadda is allus wookin fora way to ged rid obba pooties. He makes piles obb'em inna garden an den waits to discobber pwaces to pudd'em. So far, he's found da pwace where sum neighbourhood guys cutted fru da hedge at nite. So he digged a hole an filled id up wif pooties anna contents obba catz-box. Den he added wadder. Den he weft it. So at nite, whenna guys twied to come fru da hedge, dey stepped inna hole, up to dere knees inna slurry ob cat-poo an yucky pooties. Id stopped dem frum comin fru da garden, doh. I culd heer dem sayin rilly bad werds aboud Dadda frum my winder.

Ennyways...

Dadda sed, "Den, whenna gwass gwows we cut id."

An Maman sed, "Bud inna Township, dere issa waw aboud aggyculchur. We can't wet it gwow too high. Ennyfing ober knee high an you'll be in twubble."

An Dadda sed, "Knee high will be enuf."

An Maman sed, "How you gonna cut it? We don godda baler."

An Dadda sed, "Scythe id. Don' need a baler."

An Maman, who usta lib inna Norf ob Inkwand sed, "Whut'cha gonna do den, stook id?"

An Dadda sed, "Yes."

Den Hunny calls ober to me, "Whut'ssa 'stook'?" An I sed dat I didn know bud id didn sound good.

You see, Maman an Dadda is 'ammychur historians' which means dey know a wot aboud whut peebles did a hunnert or so yeers ago. Now da reason dat peebles did fings da way dey did a hunnert or so yeers ago is cos dey didn't know enny bedder. Now dat dey know bedder, dey don't do fings dat way enny more.

Sum how, dis wast pawt obba wesson is wost on Maman an Dadda. Dey nod onwy know how fings was done a hunnert or more yeers ago, bud dey keep wantin to do fings dat way, ebben doh dey pwobabwy shuldin't now dat dere are bedder ways.

So.

Maman sed to Dadda, "I don know how to stook hay."

An Dadda sed, "I do. Id's easy."

Dees are dangerous werds when Dadda says dem.

Bud he went on: "You ged two bits ob stwing an lay dem onna gwound. Den you lay da dwy hay onna stwings an tie uppa hay. Den you stand uppa hay an wet it dwy sum more. Den you pud da stooks inna shed."

"An waid for spontaneous combustion." Added Maman.

She is helpful wike dat.

An Dadda sed, "Nod if you dwy it rite to begin wif."

An I'm finkin dat you nebber shuld wet two ober-eddykated hoomins woose inna field togedder.

Cos I know whut Maman is seein in her hed. She has showed me buks where dere are pikchurs ob peebles dwessed in red, gween an bloo hoods an jackits an dey hab stockins on dere wegs an dey are doin fings wike cuddin gwapes an stuff. Dey are pikchurs frumma wong time ago bifore hoomins god smawt an stopped doin fings wike dat.

Bud dis is whut Maman is seein in her hed. Whut she is NOD seein, is her, inna wong dwess an sandals, or Dadda in jeans an dwess shoes, jumpin on shubbles an diggin inna dirt, emptyin pwastic bags ob pooties inna hot sun, or bweakin a nail or geddin bugs inn'er hair or him sprainin a mussel or her twistin her ankle or sumfing else stoopid or Dadda carryin her off toda 'Mergency Room wif bee-stings or him geddin cobbered in poison iby an scratchin forebber or sumfing.

See, I know dees two.

So afta wistenin for a widdle bid, Clover shakes her ears an says, "Uh oh is rite."

An ebben Luckie, da Stoopid Widdle Dreamer, shakes her ears an says, "Dis mite nod turn oud too well."

An Hunny gwabbed uppa mouf-full ob hay, wooked ober at me an sed, "Bugger it."

An I sed, "Yup."

Cos we know bedder. Bud Maman an Dadda don.

So Here We Go Agin.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:57 AM EDT
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Friday, 21 May 2004
Day Twenty-Too / 4th Strand
Tiday is May Twenty-FURST, 2004.

Bemember dis cos dis is da day dat our sistah, Beffy, was borned. So tiday is her Hoppy Birfday day.

So I'm gonna tell you boud Beffy.

Furst ob all, Beffy issa hoomin. She don lib heer, bud she mite as well lib heer cos she comes heer a wot. Maman is her muver an Beffy is Maman's kit. Now Our Dadda is not Beffy's dadda cos Beffy's dadda went toda Bridge an I nebber knowed him. Bud Our Dadda is berry wike a reg'lar Dadda in dat he cares berry much aboud Beffy. Dis is normal at Our Warren; you arribe at Our Warren wiffoud much fambly an den you suddenwy habba wotta fambly.

Sumtimes Beffy bwings her dawg, Codi, when she comes to bisit. I don wike dawgs assa gen'ral rool an Codi is no hextceptshun. Id's not Codi's fault, ob course, it's just dat she issa dawg an she issa Shebu Innu kinda dawg an she has far too menny teef dat she is too fond ob usin. An she's nod gonna use dem on me. So she's not atta top ob my wist ob "fabourite critters to bisit" if you know whut I meen.

Bud Beffy is anudder stowy.

Maman says dat Beffy an I ara wotta'wike. Beffy says dat I amma bitch. *footflicks* I am notta dawg. I amma bunny. I am also da Top Bun inna Warren an she issn. I amma 'sertib, bud dat's my job. So dat is preddy much, dat.

Howebber, Beffy does bwing tweets an she gibs pets. Sumtimes she an I tawk an Beffy tells me 'boud "goin oud" wif her friends an "pwayin pool" (whutebber dat is) an habbin fun. She also has told me aboud her "werk" atta hoomin V-E-Ts office. I fink if she is gonna werk atta V-E-Ts office, it shuld be atta reg'lar V-E-T where she culd help us feel bedder aboud habbin to be goin dere an nod be so skeert, you know? She geds a wong gud wif dawgs an ebben wif catz, which is nodda easy fing for ENNYWUN todo (cos catz is nutz).

An Beffy an I are preddy. I amma bwack an white bunny wif uppy ears. Beffy hassa wong, berry blonde hairs on her hed an gween eyes. Beffy wafs a wot. She also tawks a wot. She makes "jokes" dat makes peebles waf. She makes jokes aboud my ears dat are nod funny. Sumtimes she goes toda "be-yoo-tee-shop" an gits sum fancy nails on her hands. I hab to hab my nails cwipped an Maman an Dadda does it. I don gedda go to enny shops.

Beffy can pway dat 'cello fing Maman pways. I dunno why. She also pways a "gittar" fing an sings. Sumtimes she pways da pianer inna dinin-room downnastairs. I dunno why she does dat, eidder.

To be honest, I dunno why hoomins do a wot obba fings dat dey do. Whut's wiffa fancy nails anna goin to werk an alla dis "goin oud" an gibbin house-space to dawgs? I fink dat Beffy wuld do bedder to habba bunny, wike me, to sort ob okkypye her time an help her to gedda'wong in wife.

Maman is all-rite assa Maman, bud she's nod good at teachin "wife". Now I culd organyize Beffy's wife for her, an show her whut's 'portant - you know, wike habbin good salads, an habbin good tweets, an reskewin udder bunnies who need homes, an how to cwean a pootie-box da rite way.

When it comes to libbin well, you can't beat da bunny-way-ob-wife.

Dere is nuffin bedder den habbin sum tweets, habbin sum hay an habbin a nap.

An den geddin up todo it all ober agin!

Hoppy Birfday, Beffy! An menny more! Frum Alla Us Togedder!!!

Posted by Our Warren at 1:05 PM EDT
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Thursday, 20 May 2004
Day Twenty-wun / 4th Strand
Guess whut?

Id is almost Sistah Beffy's Birfday!

She will be twenty-sebben yeers owd. Dis is not owd for a hoomin (Maman is fifty, an her mawmie is atey-for, which is owd!), bud I nebber herd obba rabbit who is dat owd. Hunny issa owdest bunny I know an he is twelbe. Poet issa nextest owdest an she is elebben. I am nine. I will be ten onna Forf ob Jooly, which is when ebberybunny else will also go uppa yeer.

Da rezon dat alla us togedder habba same birfday is cossa da Ancient Dawg.

Nowda Ancient Dawg has gone toda Bridge, bud I bemember him. He usta be eighteen, which is berry owd fora dawg.

His name was "Tristan" an he wassa long, low dawg wif bwack an white spots. Maman sed he was mainwy a Basset Houn' - "Two Dawgs Wong an Half a Dawg High".

Dis is troo. I hextplored him, an yes, he wassa berry wong dawg when he was lyin on his bwankie (which was most obba time, when I knew him). He wuz almost fibe hops wong! An dat is fibe ob my hops, an I am nodda small bunny.

Maman's Dadda cawled Tristan, "Maxymillian Van Snort" cos Tristan usta sneeze a wot. An cos he wuz low toda ground, he usta bang his hed onna fwoor when he sneezed. Id nebber seemed to bover him dat he banged his hed. Dis is cos his hed was fulla "concreet", Maman sed, wike most bassets - cos once dey gedda idea in dere heds, she says, it geds stuck dere, wike it's set in concreet. Bud I know howta change a basset mind. Heatherington taught me. Bud you godda be brabe to doit.

Most ob Tristan's ideas settled round food. He wiked treets - enny treets, kloodin bunny treets.

I mean, whut can you do wiffa dawg dat eats carrots? An appils? An gwapes? An raisins?

Maman wuld pud downna raisins for Hunny, Heatherington, Maggie an me an we'd be siddin dere, each habbin sum, powite-wike, wike rabbits do, an den we'd heer da raddle obba chain, an heer comes Tristan. You'd know it wuz him, cos his nose comed innu da room bifore da rest obba dawg made it fru da door.

So heer comed dis nose an da nose wuld shub fru alla bunnies an suddenly, dere wuld be no tweats.

Just wike dat, dey wuz all gone. Now you see dem, now you don. An dere wassa dawg, wiffa back end waggin anna frunt end snufflin.

Well, Hunny was allus too skeert to do ennyfing. He'd hear da chain raddle an he's run forit. Maggie wuld just sit dere, but Heatherington wassa tough widdle Dutch bunny an he'd *thump* when he saw da nose comin thru da doorway.

So Heatherington wuld *thump* an Hunny wuld scatter, an I wuz new back den, so I wuld just sit dere - an heer comes da nose wike a snowplough - and **whomp** dere went alla tweets.

An good ol' Maman's standin dere, goin, "Now Tris, weab da bunnies' tweets awone..."

She's berry e-fek-tib.

So Heatherington got tired ob dis. Da Dutchy-boy lubbed his raisins an hated seein dem dissypeer downna dawg.

So da nextest time datta chain raddled, he wuz reddy. He gotted innu a bwack an white ball, an whenna nose comed barrellin in, he *THUMPED* extry woud. Budda nose kept comin. So he *THUMPED* agin. Budda nose pushed fru Maggie. Hunny scrabulled, an beat feets oudda dere an back innu his habbytat.

An dere was Heatherington, alla wone, wif Maggie wika furry doorstop an me, bouncin upindown, callin Maman, cos I knowed datta dawg is in forit.

Bud it was too wate.

Nestest fing I knowed, dere's da nose an it's godda bunny 'tached to it.

Cos Dutches bite an den dey hang on.

Well. You nebber herd sucha rakit!

Da dawg, Tistan, stawts screamin dat his nose is bit, an Heatherington is yellin fru his teef, "I told you to leeb dose tweets awone!" anna dawg is screamin for Maman an Maman is screamin, "Leeb da bunny awone!" an Maggie's siddin dere wika doorstop an Hunny's runnin in cirkles inna habbytat.

So Maman gwabs da dawg, an he's wong an has godda bunny 'tached toda nose-end, so he's wigglin, an ebberywun is screamin - an Maman pulls offa bunny.

So now da dawg-nose is bweedin an Hetherington is justa ball ob rilly angry bwack an white fur. So he bites Maman.

Now Maman is bweedin.

So in comes da Lad, 'tracted by alla screamin.

An he scoops up Heatherington an puds him back innu his habbytat, an he puds Maggie back. An aldoh I didn't do ennyfing, I godda go back innu my habbytat, too.

Anna dawg goes toda V-E-T an has his nose sowed up.

So afta dat, Tristan didn eat our tweets no more. In fack, he changed.

He didn stop comin inna door nose-furst, bud he'd come in, an den he'd stop an siddown an wook. An Heatherington wuld wook up, an sorta gib a half-hearted *thump* anna dawg wuld wook, an den swing his hed aroun an make sure dat nobun wus comin. An den his eyebrows wuld werk up-an-down, an dis big pink tongue wuld come oud an **slurp** on Heatherington.

Yuck. Dawg-slobber.

Bud he nebber eated our tweeats agin.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:12 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 19 May 2004
Day Twenty / 4th Strand
I fink I ought to point oud here dat dis issa nineteenf day obba monf ob May - Just so you know dat my datin system is skrewed up bud is at weast cwose toda mawk.

Maman sed if I ebber ged back on trak, she's gonna holda sellybrashun.

Da Cokie-Fat-Cat waked up compwainin. Dadda sed if he don shutit, he's gonna be a furry cawpet anna set ob violin stwings. We don godda violin an Maman sed datta better 'cello stwings are made oudda Purlon, so I don know whut good Dadda hopes to 'komplish.

Cokie is upsed cos id is cwoudy oud, cos his food-bowl god empty ober-nite, cos his winder wassn opin early enfu dis mawnin, an cos he issn awoud to go downna "basement", wherebber dat is. Nobunny 'cept Dadda anna Lad an Sherwin issa'woud downna "basement" ennyhows, so I don know why he is so upsed aboud it.

Bud dat's da fing aboud cats - dey ged upsed ober ebberfing.

An dey HAB ebberyfing!

Nuffin ticks me off wike sumbun who compwains alla time when dey hab ebberyfing dey culd possibwy wan.

Cats ebben hab more comiks.

Hab you notised dat? Dey hab more comiks inna funny pages obba noospapers den ebben dawgs - an dere ara'wotta dawgs, too. Berry few bunnies, doh. In fack, when Maman an I read da noospapers inna mawnin, dere is onwy ONE bunny an dat is onwy sumtimes!

An whenna bunny is featchured inna comik "For Bedder of For Worse", guess whut? Da Bunny, whose name is "Butterscotch" is allus doin sumfing naughty. A couple ob days ago, he was eatin alla fwowers his mawmie had pwanted.

Now dat stoopid cat, "Garfield" is allus naughty. He is wike Cokie, fat an wazy, bud ebberybunny finks he's funny.

He is nod funny - he is spoilt.

Wook at "Fred Basset". He issa dawg inna comiks, an he is also spoilt.

Bud BOF ob dees guys are allus habbin it "rain onna wrong field", as Maman says.

An den dere'sa bunny in "FBOFW", an da poor bunny don' ebben gedda tawk!

Dis issa outrage. Alla cats anna dawgs inna funny-pages tawk, ebben da cats an dawgs in "Mutts", bud onwy WUNCE INNA WHILE ISSA BUNNY FEACHERED!

Now I gen'rally 'proobe ob "Mutts" an "FBOFW" cos dose comiks at weast hab bunnies inn'em sumtimes, bud dees udder comik-artists, I dunno. Dey are stoopid.

Maman told me datta "Simpsons" onna TeeBee stawted oud as bunnies, bud datta artist changed dem innu peeble.

Well, hey, Matt! Dat wassa bad moob!

You culda been a hero to billions obba'pressed bunnies an gibben a message 'boud reskews, hope an forebber homes. But you blew it an seddled for millions ob peebles, insted.

Yeah, I know: you went wiffa munny.

You know, I fink I'm gonna go sulk. Id's cwoudy oud, anna winder issn opin, an nobunny is wettin me oudda my habbytat an dere is no hay till Maman goes to buy sum.

Anna stoopid cat won't shuddup.

I'm going back to bed.

So dere.


Posted by Our Warren at 8:01 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 18 May 2004
Day Nineteen / 4th Strand
Well, I guess I should tell you whut happined here a couple ob days ago - cos George is still heer an I sorta don see him moobin on inna hurry.

Furst ob all, his name isn't George. We don know whut his name is an nedder does he. "George" is whut Maman calls him, cos she says dat she has allus wanted Wun Big Rabbit Whose Name Is George. Dadda calls him "Fred" bud I don fink dat's his name eidder.

Well whutebber his name is, dis is gonna be Wun Big Rabbit as soon as he is growed up, but dat's not rite now onna'count ob George's bein whut Dadda calls a "babby". Which is whut I fink is his reel name, bud we'll ged to dat inna minit.

Furst, I'll tell you whut happined.

Now, wike I've sed bifore, Maman's mawmie is berry sik, an dis is causin Maman an Sistah Beffy to hab to be dere to wook afta her a wot. Dadda anna Lad are preddy much on dere own wif us. So Maman an Dadda don hab much time to tawk or when wun is tawkin, nobunny has much energy weft for wistenin. Dis is a pwobwem cos dey aren't makin sense to each udder.

So ennyway, da Lad tooka phone call frum a V-E-T dat we used to go to. Dey hadda 'bandoned bunny an no wun to take him. Da Lad told Dadda 'boud it. Dadda told da Lad, "NFC, mate; where wuld we pudd'im when we got eight uppystairs?" an dat was dat. I breathed a sigh ob relief, bud still felt kinda bad forda bunny wif no home.

I mean, it's terryble, bein OnAlone an how awful can it be to be atta V-E-Ts, knowin dat you is OnAlone on top ob dat?

Bud whut culd I do? We is wall-to-wall bunnies inna Bun Room in our Habbytats, an Hunny is on meddycin an I'm onwy eatin salad, an fings are nod 'speshully peaceful, whut wif Maman's mawmie an alla stuff goin on.

Well, ennyways, dees fings habba way ob werkin oud. When Maman comed home, da Lad told Maman boutta phone call. She gotted dat deer-inna-hed-lights wook aboud her, an wooked at Dadda. Bud Dadda wuz hed-down inna 'puter game an he didn' say ennyfing cept datta bunny was OnAlone atta V-E-Ts an he fortygotted to tell her aboudda phone call.

So da nextest day, Dadda goes to werk, an Maman sets off to do her stuff - mindin her mawmie, geddin food to her, callin da hoomin V-E-T an twyin to figger oud whut to do nextest, an s'sportin Sistah Beffy who is stayin wiffa Maman's Mawmie, who she calls "mom-mom".

Den wate inna day, Maman comes in wike a whirlwind, gwabs a carrier and she's gone again.

Now I been heer for seben years, an I'm nod stoopid. When Maman gwabs an empty carrier an don pud enny ob us innit, she's goin onna "Reskew".

So Dadda comes home an he an da Lad are playin on dere 'puter game, an Maman whirls back in wiffa carrier. An Dadda wooks inside an says, "I fought I told you dat we don gotta room." He didn yell or ennyfing, he just sed it.

An Maman says, "You just told me datta bunny wus dere - wike I shuld go geddit. So I did."

An dis wassa troof - cos Dadda had sed toda Lad dat dere wuz no room, he didn' say dat to Maman. Ebben doh she knowed dat dere wuz no room heer, she allus says dat she kin find room-for-wun-more inna 'mergency, dat God don send nobunny to be reskewed unwess He knows datta bunny shuld be heer.

An Dadda didn't say ennyfing. So Maman wuz skeert. She broughted da carrier uppystairs an set it in frunt ob my habbytat an rushed back downnastairs.

An dere was George inside, wookin bewildered.

So I axted him his name, an he don know. He wassn atta furst home wong enuf to bemember his name. Babby's is wike dat - you feed dem enuf an dey don bemember ennyfing 'cept where da food is.

So I axted him whut happined. An George sed dat he was inna shop, den inna nice home. Denna peebles dat had him hadda fight anna young girl dat was takin care ob him stawted to cry. Den she pud him inna big box an dey went toda V-E-T pwace. An den, he sed she pudda box onna floor, anna nextest fing he knew, sumwun else was opinin da box an he wassn' home ennymore. He wuz OnAlone!

An cos he issa babby, he stawted to cry an he wuz skeert.

So I told him he was at Our Warren an introduced him as much as I culd, seein as how he wuz still inna carrier an culdn't see much.

Den I herd downnastairs, Dadda say to Maman dat it wuz his fault, dat he had sed 'boud no room toda Lad, an Maman stawted cryin - well, she don zactly cry, she just stands dere an her eyes ged fulla wadder an she backs away, wike she is gonna bolt enny minit.

An den Dadda sed, "Well, he'll hab to be a Foster, cos we can hab enuf room, bud I can't kick da babby oud, cos he's god no home." Den Dadda comed uppa stairs an wooked in.

An I sed to da babby, "Wookit Junyor, you godda p'wess Dadda. Cos you issa babby, you godda wotta 'cute' goin for you, so use it."

An Dadda godda reskew cage frumma car an taked George oudda da carrier an dat's when I rilly godda wook at him.

Wet me tell you, dis is no "Wun Yeer, Full Growed Bunny" wike da V-E-T told Maman. Dis issa berry young, half-growed Flemish Giant babby - he gots da big hed dat's half da size ob his body, da broad face anna BIG feets ob your typikal Flemish Giant. An he's all white wif some grey on his face. His ears aren't as big as dey culd be, bud he's growin.

An den, as Dadda is holdin da Babby, da Babby reached up an snuffled his hair. Den he tasted da hair. Den he cuddled. I'm tellin you, dis babby wearns fast!

So now he's heer. I told him alreddy, fortyged da pellets, hold oud for salad an hay. An dis kid's no dummy - he's nod eatin pellets, bud he's eatin huge amounts ob salad an hay. He don know whut treats are, bud we'll ged to dat.

I'm coachin him.

I fink I mite wike dis babby. Ebben if his name IS George, which I don fink id is. I fink his name is Babby.


Posted by Our Warren at 8:41 AM EDT
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Friday, 14 May 2004
Day Sebbenteen / 4th Strand
Well, I was readin da noospapers wif Maman dis mornin an akordin to Da Guardian Noospaper, id is now berry fashunable to habba gardener anna garden.

We gots a nice garden area outside obba houz. I can see it frumma winder. Da Lad mowed it yestidday wiffa wanmower an den he cutted da hedge. An den he comed inside da houz an sed dat it wassa wotta werk fur nuffin.

So I got to finkin abouddit.

Here's alla dis garden area dat is nodda garden bud culd be wun. An den I bemembered wast yeer.

Hooboy! Dis "Garden" fing came up wast yeer, too.

Id was inna Spwing, an Dadda was tawkin to Maman an he sed dat whut we rilly needed inna side garden wassa fountin-inna-fwower garden.

An Maman sed dat whut we rilly needed was roses wike she had inna garden back in Inkland.

Anna Lad sed whut dey rilly needed wassa Reality Check cossa wun dose two had, bounced.

Sistah Beffy just 'spressed da idea dat we had way too menny pooties an nod enuf pwaces for'dem, so a garden sounded wike a good idea she wanted no pawts ob.

In sum ways, Da Lad an Sistah are a widdle bedder off mentally den Maman an Dadda, bud don say I told you.

So Maman an Dadda went off toda Guy Store to see abouda garden.

An I'm up heer finkin, "Dill".

So dey go toda Guy Store, bud dere is nuffin dere dat Dadda wants (he knows whut he's wookin for. Maman sed dat he hassa "British Genetic Imperative to dig inna dirt".). So dey go toda Feed Store where dere is also a wan an garden store.

An dey come home wiffa bunny.

Dis bunny is, furst ob all, gween. Sekond ob all, it hassa hole in its back anna nozzle on its butt. It has no smell an it don run or nuffin. Maman sed it issa "fountin" forda birdbaf an set it onna floor inna Bun Room assa Dekkyrashun for us.

So. I'm still up here finkin, "Dill". Cos dat is my fabrit herb.

Well, Dadda gets a shubble an goes outside an stawts to dig. Den he moobs da big concreet bird baf frum unner da climbin rose bush dat refuses to climb. He comes in to see Maman an ged Band-Aids. Den he goes oud again an digs sum more. Den Maman goes oud wif ice-tea (Dis is sumfing she makes dat we don ged.). Den she comes in wookin thoughtful. Dadda comes in an says Bad Werds.

Da Lad stays in his room an is rilly quiet. No music, no woud puter noises. On his way past us he tells me dat dere is no way he's gonna ged inbolbed in dis mess.

Dadda goes oud again an comes in again. Maman issn't sayin much aside frum "You poor darling" which is whut she says to Dadda when fings don go his way.

Den she comes an geds da green bunny dat don't hab no smell anna nozzle init's butt. She gibs dat to Dadda an he goes oud innu da yard. So I wook oud my winder.

Well, da yard is all humps ob dirt wif stacks ob lawn cut innu chunks an Dadda's bootpwints inna dirt trackin heer an dere. An dere'ssa big concreet birdbaf inna middle obba yard, sorta weanin to wun side, an siddin inna middle ob it on top, issa green bunny. Now it's godda hose connected to it's butt.

An Dadda shouts, "Hokay?"

An Maman says, "Hokay."

An I heer da hosepipe squeek. An dis widdle squirt ob wadder shoots oudda da bunny's back an sorta widens innu a widdle cone, aboud a inch high. An it piddles down, wettin alla 'round da green bunny dat has no smell.

An Maman an Dadda are standin dere togedder wif dere heds on one side, wookin atta green bunny, piddlin inna middle obba birdbaf, an I'm yellin in my hed, finkin as woud as I kin, "Wook you two, DILL! Pwant DILL! Ebben you kin gwow DILL, itsa WEED!"

So now da green bunny is siddin onna bukshelf, holdin up a bunch ob books. Da birdbaf is back by da straggly climbin rose bush dat don climb an Dadda sed he'll be blasted if he's gonna ged inbolbed in twendy fings an whut he RILLY wants ista pwant tatties.

An Maman found an owd pot an pud sum dill innit cos she herd dat it issa weed an easy to gwow.

An I'm still up heer waidin for it.

Posted by Our Warren at 8:43 AM EDT
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