Tiday is May Twenty-FURST, 2004.
Bemember dis cos dis is da day dat our sistah, Beffy, was borned. So tiday is her Hoppy Birfday day.
So I'm gonna tell you boud Beffy.
Furst ob all, Beffy issa hoomin. She don lib heer, bud she mite as well lib heer cos she comes heer a wot. Maman is her muver an Beffy is Maman's kit. Now Our Dadda is not Beffy's dadda cos Beffy's dadda went toda Bridge an I nebber knowed him. Bud Our Dadda is berry wike a reg'lar Dadda in dat he cares berry much aboud Beffy. Dis is normal at Our Warren; you arribe at Our Warren wiffoud much fambly an den you suddenwy habba wotta fambly.
Sumtimes Beffy bwings her dawg, Codi, when she comes to bisit. I don wike dawgs assa gen'ral rool an Codi is no hextceptshun. Id's not Codi's fault, ob course, it's just dat she issa dawg an she issa Shebu Innu kinda dawg an she has far too menny teef dat she is too fond ob usin. An she's nod gonna use dem on me. So she's not atta top ob my wist ob "fabourite critters to bisit" if you know whut I meen.
Bud Beffy is anudder stowy.
Maman says dat Beffy an I ara wotta'wike. Beffy says dat I amma bitch. *footflicks* I am notta dawg. I amma bunny. I am also da Top Bun inna Warren an she issn. I amma 'sertib, bud dat's my job. So dat is preddy much, dat.
Howebber, Beffy does bwing tweets an she gibs pets. Sumtimes she an I tawk an Beffy tells me 'boud "goin oud" wif her friends an "pwayin pool" (whutebber dat is) an habbin fun. She also has told me aboud her "werk" atta hoomin V-E-Ts office. I fink if she is gonna werk atta V-E-Ts office, it shuld be atta reg'lar V-E-T where she culd help us feel bedder aboud habbin to be goin dere an nod be so skeert, you know? She geds a wong gud wif dawgs an ebben wif catz, which is nodda easy fing for ENNYWUN todo (cos catz is nutz).
An Beffy an I are preddy. I amma bwack an white bunny wif uppy ears. Beffy hassa wong, berry blonde hairs on her hed an gween eyes. Beffy wafs a wot. She also tawks a wot. She makes "jokes" dat makes peebles waf. She makes jokes aboud my ears dat are nod funny. Sumtimes she goes toda "be-yoo-tee-shop" an gits sum fancy nails on her hands. I hab to hab my nails cwipped an Maman an Dadda does it. I don gedda go to enny shops.
Beffy can pway dat 'cello fing Maman pways. I dunno why. She also pways a "gittar" fing an sings. Sumtimes she pways da pianer inna dinin-room downnastairs. I dunno why she does dat, eidder.
To be honest, I dunno why hoomins do a wot obba fings dat dey do. Whut's wiffa fancy nails anna goin to werk an alla dis "goin oud" an gibbin house-space to dawgs? I fink dat Beffy wuld do bedder to habba bunny, wike me, to sort ob okkypye her time an help her to gedda'wong in wife.
Maman is all-rite assa Maman, bud she's nod good at teachin "wife". Now I culd organyize Beffy's wife for her, an show her whut's 'portant - you know, wike habbin good salads, an habbin good tweets, an reskewin udder bunnies who need homes, an how to cwean a pootie-box da rite way.
When it comes to libbin well, you can't beat da bunny-way-ob-wife.
Dere is nuffin bedder den habbin sum tweets, habbin sum hay an habbin a nap.
An den geddin up todo it all ober agin!
Hoppy Birfday, Beffy! An menny more! Frum Alla Us Togedder!!!