Well, I was readin da noospapers wif Maman dis mornin an akordin to Da Guardian Noospaper, id is now berry fashunable to habba gardener anna garden.
We gots a nice garden area outside obba houz. I can see it frumma winder. Da Lad mowed it yestidday wiffa wanmower an den he cutted da hedge. An den he comed inside da houz an sed dat it wassa wotta werk fur nuffin.
So I got to finkin abouddit.
Here's alla dis garden area dat is nodda garden bud culd be wun. An den I bemembered wast yeer.
Hooboy! Dis "Garden" fing came up wast yeer, too.
Id was inna Spwing, an Dadda was tawkin to Maman an he sed dat whut we rilly needed inna side garden wassa fountin-inna-fwower garden.
An Maman sed dat whut we rilly needed was roses wike she had inna garden back in Inkland.
Anna Lad sed whut dey rilly needed wassa Reality Check cossa wun dose two had, bounced.
Sistah Beffy just 'spressed da idea dat we had way too menny pooties an nod enuf pwaces for'dem, so a garden sounded wike a good idea she wanted no pawts ob.
In sum ways, Da Lad an Sistah are a widdle bedder off mentally den Maman an Dadda, bud don say I told you.
So Maman an Dadda went off toda Guy Store to see abouda garden.
An I'm up heer finkin, "Dill".
So dey go toda Guy Store, bud dere is nuffin dere dat Dadda wants (he knows whut he's wookin for. Maman sed dat he hassa "British Genetic Imperative to dig inna dirt".). So dey go toda Feed Store where dere is also a wan an garden store.
An dey come home wiffa bunny.
Dis bunny is, furst ob all, gween. Sekond ob all, it hassa hole in its back anna nozzle on its butt. It has no smell an it don run or nuffin. Maman sed it issa "fountin" forda birdbaf an set it onna floor inna Bun Room assa Dekkyrashun for us.
So. I'm still up here finkin, "Dill". Cos dat is my fabrit herb.
Well, Dadda gets a shubble an goes outside an stawts to dig. Den he moobs da big concreet bird baf frum unner da climbin rose bush dat refuses to climb. He comes in to see Maman an ged Band-Aids. Den he goes oud again an digs sum more. Den Maman goes oud wif ice-tea (Dis is sumfing she makes dat we don ged.). Den she comes in wookin thoughtful. Dadda comes in an says Bad Werds.
Da Lad stays in his room an is rilly quiet. No music, no woud puter noises. On his way past us he tells me dat dere is no way he's gonna ged inbolbed in dis mess.
Dadda goes oud again an comes in again. Maman issn't sayin much aside frum "You poor darling" which is whut she says to Dadda when fings don go his way.
Den she comes an geds da green bunny dat don't hab no smell anna nozzle init's butt. She gibs dat to Dadda an he goes oud innu da yard. So I wook oud my winder.
Well, da yard is all humps ob dirt wif stacks ob lawn cut innu chunks an Dadda's bootpwints inna dirt trackin heer an dere. An dere'ssa big concreet birdbaf inna middle obba yard, sorta weanin to wun side, an siddin inna middle ob it on top, issa green bunny. Now it's godda hose connected to it's butt.
An Dadda shouts, "Hokay?"
An Maman says, "Hokay."
An I heer da hosepipe squeek. An dis widdle squirt ob wadder shoots oudda da bunny's back an sorta widens innu a widdle cone, aboud a inch high. An it piddles down, wettin alla 'round da green bunny dat has no smell.
An Maman an Dadda are standin dere togedder wif dere heds on one side, wookin atta green bunny, piddlin inna middle obba birdbaf, an I'm yellin in my hed, finkin as woud as I kin, "Wook you two, DILL! Pwant DILL! Ebben you kin gwow DILL, itsa WEED!"
So now da green bunny is siddin onna bukshelf, holdin up a bunch ob books. Da birdbaf is back by da straggly climbin rose bush dat don climb an Dadda sed he'll be blasted if he's gonna ged inbolbed in twendy fings an whut he RILLY wants ista pwant tatties.
An Maman found an owd pot an pud sum dill innit cos she herd dat it issa weed an easy to gwow.
An I'm still up heer waidin for it.