The Hay Diaries
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Friday, 14 May 2004
Day Sebbenteen / 4th Strand
Well, I was readin da noospapers wif Maman dis mornin an akordin to Da Guardian Noospaper, id is now berry fashunable to habba gardener anna garden.

We gots a nice garden area outside obba houz. I can see it frumma winder. Da Lad mowed it yestidday wiffa wanmower an den he cutted da hedge. An den he comed inside da houz an sed dat it wassa wotta werk fur nuffin.

So I got to finkin abouddit.

Here's alla dis garden area dat is nodda garden bud culd be wun. An den I bemembered wast yeer.

Hooboy! Dis "Garden" fing came up wast yeer, too.

Id was inna Spwing, an Dadda was tawkin to Maman an he sed dat whut we rilly needed inna side garden wassa fountin-inna-fwower garden.

An Maman sed dat whut we rilly needed was roses wike she had inna garden back in Inkland.

Anna Lad sed whut dey rilly needed wassa Reality Check cossa wun dose two had, bounced.

Sistah Beffy just 'spressed da idea dat we had way too menny pooties an nod enuf pwaces for'dem, so a garden sounded wike a good idea she wanted no pawts ob.

In sum ways, Da Lad an Sistah are a widdle bedder off mentally den Maman an Dadda, bud don say I told you.

So Maman an Dadda went off toda Guy Store to see abouda garden.

An I'm up heer finkin, "Dill".

So dey go toda Guy Store, bud dere is nuffin dere dat Dadda wants (he knows whut he's wookin for. Maman sed dat he hassa "British Genetic Imperative to dig inna dirt".). So dey go toda Feed Store where dere is also a wan an garden store.

An dey come home wiffa bunny.

Dis bunny is, furst ob all, gween. Sekond ob all, it hassa hole in its back anna nozzle on its butt. It has no smell an it don run or nuffin. Maman sed it issa "fountin" forda birdbaf an set it onna floor inna Bun Room assa Dekkyrashun for us.

So. I'm still up here finkin, "Dill". Cos dat is my fabrit herb.

Well, Dadda gets a shubble an goes outside an stawts to dig. Den he moobs da big concreet bird baf frum unner da climbin rose bush dat refuses to climb. He comes in to see Maman an ged Band-Aids. Den he goes oud again an digs sum more. Den Maman goes oud wif ice-tea (Dis is sumfing she makes dat we don ged.). Den she comes in wookin thoughtful. Dadda comes in an says Bad Werds.

Da Lad stays in his room an is rilly quiet. No music, no woud puter noises. On his way past us he tells me dat dere is no way he's gonna ged inbolbed in dis mess.

Dadda goes oud again an comes in again. Maman issn't sayin much aside frum "You poor darling" which is whut she says to Dadda when fings don go his way.

Den she comes an geds da green bunny dat don't hab no smell anna nozzle init's butt. She gibs dat to Dadda an he goes oud innu da yard. So I wook oud my winder.

Well, da yard is all humps ob dirt wif stacks ob lawn cut innu chunks an Dadda's bootpwints inna dirt trackin heer an dere. An dere'ssa big concreet birdbaf inna middle obba yard, sorta weanin to wun side, an siddin inna middle ob it on top, issa green bunny. Now it's godda hose connected to it's butt.

An Dadda shouts, "Hokay?"

An Maman says, "Hokay."

An I heer da hosepipe squeek. An dis widdle squirt ob wadder shoots oudda da bunny's back an sorta widens innu a widdle cone, aboud a inch high. An it piddles down, wettin alla 'round da green bunny dat has no smell.

An Maman an Dadda are standin dere togedder wif dere heds on one side, wookin atta green bunny, piddlin inna middle obba birdbaf, an I'm yellin in my hed, finkin as woud as I kin, "Wook you two, DILL! Pwant DILL! Ebben you kin gwow DILL, itsa WEED!"

So now da green bunny is siddin onna bukshelf, holdin up a bunch ob books. Da birdbaf is back by da straggly climbin rose bush dat don climb an Dadda sed he'll be blasted if he's gonna ged inbolbed in twendy fings an whut he RILLY wants ista pwant tatties.

An Maman found an owd pot an pud sum dill innit cos she herd dat it issa weed an easy to gwow.

An I'm still up heer waidin for it.

Posted by Our Warren at 8:43 AM EDT
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Thursday, 13 May 2004
Day Sixteen / 4th Strand
I fink I god my strands messed up. Oh well. Kountin was nebber my strongest point.

Maman's mawmie is sik. She don wike Our Warren. In fact, she doesn't fink to highly ob Maman, eidder, which makes it hard for Maman to deel wif her. She is berry owd. Older den Hunny, ennyways, an she won't go toda hoomin vet when she needs to, an Maman is ushually onna losin end ob dat argumint an den Dadda hasta step in an say sumfing. She wistens to Dadda cos he issa man. I dunno how Maman's mawmie finks, cos its nod da way I do - seems berry odd to me. Bud dat's why Maman issn't feelin too good, I fink, cos she is "swessed oud" as Dadda calls it. All I know is dat da salads are wate.

Ennyways, wike I was tellin you aboud Mouse anna air condishywasher anna lektrick sokit an all... I'm going to go back to tellin you boud'dat cos dat's sumfing I unnerstand.

So da Lad had alla stuff to fixa sokit cos Maman had gone to da "Guy's Store" (which is whut she calls "Home Depot" cos it is fulla guys in pick-em-ip-trucks). So he comes innu da Bun Room an hassa wook atta job. Bud to do dis, he hasta moob a few fings.

Wike us.

Now cos dere is eight ob us, dere issn a whole lod ob extry room inna Bun Room. We god a wotta habbytats an widdle hallways b'tween dem so dat we can walk up and down an all. So in order for da Lad to moob Mouse outta da way, he hasta moob Luckie-Bun outta da way, bud to do dat, he hasta moob Missy an she panicks ebberytime she hasta be moobed. So da idea is to moob Luckie wiffoud habbin to moob Missy.

An don, whutebber you do, bump innu da Owd Folks, Hunny an Poet, cos Poet will just lose her mind an Hunny will ged all disoryented cos he has trubble seein an heerin. Maman says his eqwell-librium isnn' too good, eidder.


Da Lad decides dat he shuld moob Luckie UP an den OBER an den innu da hallway outside obba Bun Room. But do do dat, he hasta make it so dat she won't be 'vestigated by da cats, who hab a cushon to wie on inna hallway. So he heebed da cushon ober da bannyster an pudda gate up accrosst da stairs. Dat stopped da cats.

Den he went to pick up Luckie-Bun's habbytat wif her innit.

Well, Luckie-Bun finks dat enny hand comin innu her habbytat hassa tweat innit an she furst snuffles da hand an alla da fingers to see where da tweat is. She wikes to gedda fingers apart so she can snuffle between-a-fingers, too, cos you nebber can be sure datta hand is totally emptee until you habba rilly good wook. At weast, dat's her theory.

So wile da Lad has her up inna air, Luckie is snufflin his fingers dat he has poked fru da habbytat. When he didn't pull his fingers up to wet her snuffled unner dem, she decided to moob his fingers up herself: she bited him.

Well, hokay, he yelled, bud he didn't dwop her or ennyfing, cos Maman was standin rite dere, wachin.

So Luckie is determined. She bites his finger again to see if she kin pry it up to hab a wook unnerneaf. So he yells again. Bud he don dwop her.

By dis time, he has her almost outta da door.

So Luckie finks dis sucks. She can't seem to ged him to moob his fingers. But dis issa determined rabbit.

She gwabs hold ob his fingers an stawts tuggin.

Da Lad pud her down inna hall, pulled his fingers oud obba habbytat an sed a wotta rilly bad werds.

Den he's godda moob Mouse.

Mouse's Habbytat is onna Hope Chest, as I told you bifore. So da idea here wasta moob da Hope Chest wif Mouse onnit to where Luckie's habbytat had bin. So dat was easy.

Anna Lad sed to Mouse, "Don't you dare pee on me."

So Mouse finked dis ober.

Anna Lad went to werk, remoobin da old sokit.

So Mouse is finkin.

Anna Lad is werkin onna sokit.

He geds da sokit fixed, an pwugs inna hextenshunion cord for da air condishywasher. He pushed da 'Mote button an ebberyfink werked.

An Mouse is finkin.

So da Lad puds away alla his tools, an bushes up da mess an geds it inna bag an shows Maman 'zactwy whut he did. An Maman gibbed him sum munny for doin such a good job an ebberyfing.

Den berry carefully, da Lad moobed da Hope Chest wif Mouse on it back to where it was. Den he carefully moobed Luckie-Bun (who was sulkin cos he had yelled at'ter) back to her pwace. An den he bent down to tawk to Mouse...

An Mouse finished finkin aboud it... turned his butt toward da Lad... an peed.

Weel, I fought it wuz funny!

Posted by Our Warren at 3:29 PM EDT
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Wednesday, 12 May 2004
Day Fifteen / 4th Strand
I wanna extend da most sincere BEST WISHES frum alla us togedder at Our Warren to our bestest friend, DON SA an his wady, SPOOKY, onna okashun ob dere BONDIN! We're wishin dem a wong an hoppy wife togedder down dere in Birginya. HOORAY for SA an SPOOKY!!!! Cilantro marguritas alla 'round!!

An dat's da happy noos dis mawnin.

Udder happy noos is dat we gots our air considhywasher back. Good fing, cos it's gonna be hot again tidday.

Of course, it wassa nudder interestin time inna Bun Room.

Furst, Maman went toda Guy Store. Dis is called "Home Depot" an it is neer heer. She went alone, which she hardly ebber does cos she says datta store confoozles her. It's nodda store dat confoozles her, its dat she confoozles ebbery person inna store cos she has no cloo whut she's doin, an she hassa hard time communykatin whut she's twyin to do to udder peebles. Dis is cos da inside ob Maman's hed issa "obscure pwace" an onwy Dadda can see inside. If dere wassa map ob Maman's hed, it wuld say "Terra Incognita" onit an Dadda wuld hab his name in Nahunal Geografik assa hextplorer.

Ennyways, Maman gets toda Home Depot pwace, an rite off, she's in trubble. She sed datta car-park was fulla pick-'em-up-trucks. Dis issa bad sign, she sed, cos it means dat da store is gonna be full ob peebles dat know whut dey want, an she hassa onwy "fambly isshoo" car obba rank ammychur. Bud Maman is brabe - so she went in ennyway an parked da Buick inna middle ob alla pick-'em-up-trucks. She sed da Buick wooked "short".

So she went inside an finds da 'Lektrick Sekshun an stawts wookin for wall sokits to replace da wun Mouse had peed on. An don'cha know, she sed, dere wasn't jus WUN sokit, dere was wike a hunnert, all wined up. Dere was "kommershural" ones, an "rezzydenshul" ones, an "all-purpose" ones, an "lite" ones an "hebby-dooty" ones an ones for "in-dust-re-al uses" an udder uses dat she don ebben rekonize. An all she knows issat she hasta ged wun wif free holes innit. Well, most obbem on display has free holes.

So sum guy sees her standin dere dyin ob indecision, an axts her "Whut amperage you want?" inna friendly fashun.

An she looks attem an bwinks an she's wike, "I'm sorry?" (Maman appolygyzes for ebberyfing.)

Anna guy smiles an says again, "Whut amerage you want?"

So Maman, being Maman sed, "It's fora Bun Room."

Well, dat perplexes da guy rite dere, cos now he's got no cloo what she's tawkin aboud. So he says he's sorry. So she says dat Mouse peed onna sokit an she hasta repwace it.

So now da guy is geddin a flicker - Maman sed you culd see it in his face, dat atta werd "peed" an "repwace" sumfing was stawtin to click in his hed. An you can say datta guy culd unnerstan datta mouse culd pee onna wight sokit - dat he's geddin da basik outwines obba story here, ebben doh it'ssa wrong story.

So he wooks atta sokits an says, "Well, it can't hurt to habba higher amps. Issa mouse comin back?"

He prob'wy woulda bin hokay if he'd not axted nuffin aboudda mouse, bud he did, an Maman says bwightly,

"Oh Mouse lives there. He's a rabbit."

So she fanks da guy berry much an moobs on toda display obba hextenshun cords, leebin da guy standin dere sorta watchin her leeb wif his hed onna side.

You see, Maman has dis disconnected kind ob intellygence - disconnected frum most peebles reality. She tawks usin real werds in proper sentances, it's just dat her werds leeb udder peebles repeatin da sentances wookin forda hidden meanings.

So a store guy wanders past an she axts him which hextenshun cord will werk wiffa air condishywasher. An da store guy axts her, "How menny BTU's?" an Maman don't know, so she says, "We hadda hextenshun cord bifore, bud Mouse hadda akkydent an now it won't werk."

Anna guy sed, "Oh, well, if you have mice, you needa traps inna exterminating sekshun in isle twenty-free."

An Maman wooks horryfied an says, "Good God, no! Mouse issa Bunny."

Anna store guy wooks confoozled an says, "I fought you sed you hadda mouse."

An Maman says, "I do. He'sa rabbit."

An dere issa momint ob siwence while dey each twy to werk oud whut da udder wun is tawkin aboud.

An Maman says (twyin to be helpful), "Itsa small air condishywasher."

Anna store guy rallies an wooks atta display ob hextenshun cords an axts her (prob'ly bifore finkin dis fru,) "How long do you needit?"

An Maman finks an says, "Da Bun Room is twelbe-by-four'teen."

Which tells him precisely nuffin. But Maman is precise wif her nuffin. Axt her a qwestshun an she'll gib you exact informashun aboud sumfing else. Dis is cos she is imaginin da room in her hed, an seein da winder, an measurin frumma winder toda sokit an knowin da dimenshuns obba room. Den makin da quantum leep in assumin dat da person tawkin to her is seein in dere hed da same fing dat she is seein, she gibs dem infortymashun dey can't use.

Bud she don't realize dis.

Now Dadda knows dis aboud her an he kin keep up wif her, if nod getta jump ahead ob her (which is why most ob dere conbersashuns sound disjointed.). Most peebles can't which is why he married her an udder men didn't.

Anna Home Depot Store Guy was wost. An he knew it. So he gwabs a hextenshun cord an shobes it innu her hands an says, "I fink dis is whut you want, Ma'am."

An she says, "I need two, please."

An he says, "You shouldn't string two ob'em togedder, Ma'am. Fire hazard."

An she says, "Two air condishywashers."

So da guy gibs up, cos he's nod inside ob her hed an seein da air condishywasher dat's in her an Dadda's bedroom along wiffa air condishywasher dat's inna Bun Room da she's seein.

So now she has two wight sokits an two hextenshun cords an she heds toda chek-oud an manages to ged fru dat wiffoud messin wif ennywun's mind. An she finds da Buick nested in wiffa pick-'em-up-trucks an heds home.

I'll tell you boud how ebberyfing geds installed tomorry. Wike ebberyfing else, it wassa nudder 'benchur.

Posted by Our Warren at 8:45 AM EDT
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Tuesday, 11 May 2004
Day Fourteen / 4th Strand
Maman sed I hab falled down onna job as Top Bun cos I didn see "it" comin.

I dunno whut she hexpecks ob me, da stoopid womin.

Ebbery nite, I come outta my habbytat an wook innu ebberybunny else's habbytat an make shure dat dey are all-rite an if ebberyfing wooks hokay, den, dat's it, I figger it's all-rite an I kin go to bed.

I am nod to bwame for whut I can't see.

An I culdn't see dat Mouse was peein ober da side ob his pootie-box.

Mouse didn see it eidder. He's nod an "aim-bifore-peein" kind ob guy. He's more a "pee-an-den-wook-if-I-feel-wike-it" kinda guy.

An ennyway, nun ob us reelized dere wassa 'lektrikal plug down dere onna wall, an ebben if we did, I shure as heck know dat nun ob us knew da darn air condishywasher wuz plugged innu it.

An who knew dat bunny pee wuld cause a big fwash anna bang?

It's not wike we hab funder-storms inna Bun Room ebbery day. *sulk* An nod onwy dat, ebben if we DID hab funder-storms inna Bun Room, dey don happin cos ob Mouse peein, you know?

I jus don see how dis was my fault.

I don ebben see how id was enny ob Mouse's fault.

Whut I DO see issat Dadda shuldn't hab put Mouse's habbytat so cwose toda wall. An I also see dat Mouse's habbytat shuldn't hab been put onna Hope Chest, eidder. I mean, whut were dey hopin for? - dat he wuld miss da 'lektrik plug dat wus rite dere onna wall nextest to him when he peed? *geez*

Mouse has always had good pooty-box habits. He hassa corner pooty-box an he wikes it ober in dat corner, nearest da wall. Dat's kind obba natchural pwace fora bunny to habba pooty-box, near toa wall. Now just how he manages to pee ober da side wiffoud it showin, I don know. Nobunny seed it bifore wast nite, dat's fur shure. Not wike he wuz sprayin all ober da pink paint Maman is so fond ob or ennyfing. When Dadda moobed Mouse's habbytat, da paint onna wall wuz just fine.

Ob course, Mouse wuz a widdle shook up. I mean, it wuz hot inna Bun Room yestidday, so when Dadda comed home frum werk, he told Maman he wuz gonna turn onna Bun Room Air Condishywasher for us, an we fought, "Good". We've hadda air condishywasher now fora whole yeer an it helps keep our room nice ann cool inna Summertime. Bunnies need it to be cool where dey lib cos we wear fur coats no madder whut da season.

So Dadda turned onna Bun Room Wight an gotta Remote Contwol fingie, an pwessed da button to turn onna air condishywasher. Well, dere wassa sizzlin noise, an denna "Whop" sound, anna bwight fwash ob wight, an denna woud "BANG!".

Da wight went oud.

Well, Missy-Bun fumped an ran forit an skittered innu a heap atta back ob her habbytat. Luckie went straight up inna air an came down wif all four paws alreddy engaged, runnin inna cirkle. Beebe fumped and grunted an Dadda yelled, so I comed runnin toda frunt ob my habbytat an fell ober my wader bowl. Poet fell ober Hunny (who was nappin), twyin to ged away to her pooty-box, an Hunny rolled ober a couple ob times, twyin to find all four ob his feets an onwy rememberin where a couple obb'em was.

So dere was sum smoke, an Dadda stawted yellin for Maman, an Maman comes poundin uppa stairs, screamin, "Whut's happinin?" (Wike dis helps. She's a good wun inna 'mergency, she is.) An Dadda shuts offa switch onna wall, gwabs hold obba Hope Chest wif Mouse's habbytat onnit an flings it away frumma wall. Dis upsets Mouse, who suddenwy finds himself moobin sideways atta same time he's twyin to go forwards an he falls ober inna shower ob hay.

Inna meantime, Hunny's discobbered four-paw dribe an is careenin aroun his habbytat, wookin for Poet an fallin ober his tin cup.

An my feets are soaked cos my wadder bowl is uppyside down an I'm standin inna wadder twyin to see whut's goin on.

So, hokay, da smoke is driftin, just wun widdle curl obbit. Mouse jumps back on his paws, hassa lunge at Dadda an bites his hand. Dadda says a Bad Werd.

So Dadda unpwugs da air condishywasher, an Maman's goin aroun to alla habbytats, wookin at alla us. She sets Hunny up on his paws, an geds anudder fluffy towel for me, cos I'm all wet, an sorts Missy outta her tangle wif her toys an hay an stuff. Beebe an Clover are furthest away frum alla commoshun, an dere hokay. Poet is still inna pooty-box, hangin on wif her eyes cwosed, which is whut she does when she's skert. She figgers if she can't see it, den whutebber it is can't ged her. She's a nice bunny, jus not a Deep Finker.

So Dadda shows Maman da Plug frumma air condishywasher, an it's all bwack where it pwugs innu da wall. 'Parently, Mouse has been peein ober da side ob his pootybox all Winter an peein rite onna Plug. He didn pee onna wall or ennyfing else, jus onna Plug. All Winter. An now it's jus wun corroded mess ob pwastic, metal an bunny-pee, so dat when Dadda turned onna 'lektricity toda plug, it just hextploded.

An so Dadda turns to me an says, "Belinda, why didn't you tell me Mouse was pissing on this plug?"

An I'm wike, "Whut?"

An Maman says, "She's fallin down onna job, silly gurl."

An I'm wike, "Hay, waid a minit..."

An den dey WAFFED! At ME!

So I gabe dem da RBB. I mean, HONESTWY!!!

So now we gots no air condishywasher tidday, until Maman anna Lad can go to da Home Depot store an buy a noo plug. An it's gonna be eighty outside! Mite as well be Summer an us wif fur coats on!

An sumhow, I'm sposed to keep an eye on Mouse an where he pees, so dat I kin warn Dadda when dis is likely to happin again.

Yeah. Oh sure. Dat will happin. As if!

Stoopid hoomins!

Posted by Our Warren at 8:40 AM EDT
Updated: Tuesday, 11 May 2004 8:54 AM EDT
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Monday, 10 May 2004
Day Firteen / 4th Strand
You know, SA, you are rite aboud bunnies geddin oud an innu your space. Dis happins heer, too, an it shuldn't.

I mean, as Top Bun, I shuld be allowed oud. Dat's my job, to wook innu ebberyfing an see dat ebberybun is hokay an has god ebberyfing dat dey need alla time, bud nobun is sposed to be in my Habbytat, checkin oud my stuff.

Bud'da udderday, don'cha know, Missy-Bun was in heer. She was jus bisitin, bud dat'issn da point, she was heer an I was a widdle, well, you know, s'sprised to see her sittin in my pooty-box. She didn' stay wong, she jus kinda hopped in, hadda wook at my stuff an hopped on oud, but itssa princypul obba fing: as Top Bun, I do dat to udders, dey don do dat to me.

Well, at weast now I know whutta "Home Inbashun" is, ennyway.

I keep seein dis pop-up ad onna Werld Wide Web dat says to "Hit Da Evil Kangaroo". Whut is wrong wif dees hoomins what makes up dees ads? Don dey know dat dere ARE NO EVIL ANNYMALS? Evil is sumfing dat onwy hoomins hab. Annymals don hab it. Ebben annymals I don wike, dat prey on rabbits aren't evil - dey are jus predytors, doin whut dey were designed to do - namely eat. Dat dey happin to eat rabbits is sumfing obba design flaw dat I don fink was intenshunal. I fink it was sumfing dat happined when da Hoomins god us all frown outta Da Original Garden.

See, I fink dat Originally, alla annymals were designed to ged awong wiffoud eating each udder. Den Hoomins screwed up onna'count ob lissening to Evil an wantin to be wike God. So when dat happined, Evil god innu da werld an screwed up ebberyfing, incloodin relashunships among alla annymals. Berry soon, dere were predytors an prey. We rabbits ended up as Prey.

Not good.

Bud dis doesn' mean datta predytors are evil. It jus means dat dis is how dey turned oud. It's not a choice dat dey made. Not wike sum owl waked up wun mornin an sed: "Hmmmm, I fink tiday I will bekom a carnyvor." Id issn' wike dat.

I don wake up inna mornin an fink, "Hey, I fink tiday I will be a prey annymal."

We don gedda choose.

But hoomins choose to be good or evil alla time. Ebbery choice dat dey make can be wun dat hurts or helps.

By choosin to type in a banner sayin to "Defeet da Evil Kangaroo" onna 'puter, no hoomin is helpin ennywun. Stoopid choice, hello evil.

Most evil fings stawt oud as stoopid ideas, you'll notice, an pwogwess frum dere.

By da way, ditch da diet pills an habba salad. I hab finally figgered it oud - fordyged alla addytibs anna supplymints inna diet. Fordyged alla "fordyfied foods" wif alla chemikals. Nebber mind eatin alla pills dat are sposed to promote dis or dat, wike annyoxydints an stuff, just buy more salad.

Dis is whut I'm twyin to tell Maman - BUY MORE SALAD! We don needa Green Bag an alla dat stuff. Dat way to stay away frumma V-E-T is to eat whut bunnies is sposed to eat - salad an hay. An tweats. Godda hab tweats, but den, bunnies hab tweats ennyway - carrots, appuls, an I'm sure dere issa papaya tablet tree sumwheres, just wike dere are Craisin bogs an Raisin vines inna wild. Udderwise, dey couldn't ged innu da boxes inna stores.

Ennyway, da fing is, EAT MORE SALAD. 'Speshully Spring Mix. Berry good stuff. Hab sum. You'll wike it.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:45 AM EDT
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Saturday, 8 May 2004
Day Twelbe / 4th Strand - New Beginning
Hokay. I fink we're finally straightened oud heer. Dis has been a rough couple ob weeks an no blog.

I wanna fank Mouse for twyin to hold fings togedder while I was gone. He did rilly well an I godda'mire dat, steppin innu da breech wike dat an takin ober wif no preppyrashun time or ennyfing, an nod rilly knowin whut he'd god himself innu. Dat takes a wotta courage, you know?

Bunnies aren't cowards.

So I bedder re-cap whut's been happinin at Our Warren, just so you kin be up-to-date.

1. I got REEL sik. My tummy didn feel good an I wassn eatin or drinkin, so Maman taked me to Dr Sharin an she sent me rite ober to Dr Doolen. Well, Dr Doolen couldn't see me cos he was bizzy wif udder patients, so he hassa noo doktor helpin him named Dr Fanders. So I seed her.
2. Dr Fanders pud me inna hospiddle! Well, dis hospiddle issa same wun I was in when Dr Doolen taked out my bladder stone an id is faraway frum where we libs. Maman an Dadda hasta dribe inna car fora long time to ged dere an Maman comed ebbery day to see me. Auntie Laura Hardy comed to see me, too, an Cricket an Boomer was dere wif me. Maman bringed us salad an Dill an we ate it.
3. I was inna hospiddle for fibe days!!! Dis was cos my tummy wouldn't moob. Den dey put me to sweep an oppyrated on my teef. Nextest day I discobbered dat I could chew bedder. So I stawted eatin alla salad I could cos I was rilly hungree. Onct I stawted eatin, den my stomach stawted to werk again an den da pooties stawted comin oud an I could go home.
4. Dadda god his shoulder hurted at werk. Wunna da machines dat werks by compooter broke an Dadda, who unnerstans dees fings cos he issa Engine-Wif-Ears, went to fix it. Dere wassa big pwate ob steel inna way. He wanted da crane machine to moob da steel, bud sumbun was in too big obba hurry an wanted him anna nudder guy jus to moob da pwate an ged werkin on fixin da machine. So Dadda piked uppa steel an moobed it. Dat hurted his shoulder. At furst, he didn fink ennyfing ob it, budda nextest mornin, it hurted more, so he went toda doktor anna doktor yelled at him an sed Dadda wasn't twenty-fibe enny more. Dadda felt preddy stoopid aboud'dat.
5. Denna Mean Man atta Dadda's werk is still twyin to p'tend dat he is smawt when he is berry stoopid (dis issa same man who finked I shuld be inna pot ~footflicks~) an has been harassin Dadda alla'long twied to make it wook wike Dadda had dun sumfing wrongk when he didn. Dis Mean Man tells bad lies. Dis is stoopid.
6. A berry awful fing happened. A nice man atta werk was killed. Dadda was rite dere, fixin da bwokin machine when Pedro (I wike him. He don know whut to fink ob me!) comed runnin ober to ged Dadda to help. Bud it was too wate for ennybun to help. Da Black Rabbit was alreddy dere.
7. Sistah Beffy hadda go back toda Traffik Cort cos she hadda akkydent wast Winter while she was still sik, an she didn know it, bud she didn' hab no in-shur-ance. So she hadda gedda kind ob 'Turney an now she hasta go back toda Cort inna monf. It wassa stoopid Cort, cos da paper dey sent told Maman dey hadda be dere at 5:00 pm. an Maman rushed an god Beffy dere rite onna sekond, bud dere was nobun dere! In fack, nobun showed up till 5:30, an nuffin happined till 6:15! Maman was BERRY 'nnoyed. She sed it shows disrespect for dem to be wate wike dat wiffoud 'pology, bud dat dey do it cossa pwace is arrygant. It usta be justa widdle village wif normal pebbles innit, bud now dat rich pebbles libs dere an id is berry "trendy", dey hab become snotty, Maman sed.
8. Hunny is slowin down. Maman is berry werried aboud him. He didn ebben take ober assa Top Bun when I was inna hospiddle. Clover taked over an wassa Top Bun, which wassa widdle bid obba 'prise to Maman an Dadda, bud not to me. Missy is too young, an Mouse an Luckie habbin't bin heer wong enuf, an Poet just issn't Top Bun Material. Beebe is all mouf an trousers an dis Warren is usta a gurl bun runnin fings now, so Clover handled it well. She jus comed oud an dida rounds wike I do, wookin innu ebberybun's habbytat an seein dat ebberybun was hokay. She told me, doh, dat Hunny is jus geddin slower an slower. He's nod unhappy or hurtin, he's just slow cept when it comes to treats - den he's onna munny an fast as ennyfing, bud odderwise, he's preddy slow. Maman an Dadda are werried a wot.

So dat's preddy much whut has bin goin on an why dere has bin no blog.

Bud, here I am again an I'm geddin fings back to where dey shuld be. I'm off my meddycins now an hab desided dat I shuld onwy be eatin salad alla time. No more pellets. Afta all, if Dr Doolen sed I shuld hab alla salad I want, den I shuld, so I told Maman an Dadda dat I'm not habbin pellets no more. Just salad, twice a day. Dey are 'justin toda idea. Kourse dis means dat Maman hasta go toda sooper mawkit two times inna week to ged enuf Spring Mix to keep my bowl full, bud she'll gedda hang ob it. Now ebberybun wants to go off pellets, an Maman is werried cos she says Dadda don make DAT much munny dat she can 'ford to feed us all Spring Mix alla time, bud I'mma Top Bun.

I am worf it.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:56 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 28 April 2004
Day Elebben / 4th Strand
Today's Blog will feature a panel of bunnies.
Today's Topic will be: TRUTH (Troof)
Today's Recording Journalist: Mouse

CLOVER: Whutsamatta wif Dadda?
BELINDA: He telled da troof.
HUNNY: Dis issa good fing.
CLOVER: He is upset.
BELINDA: Wookit. Ebberbunny shaddup an I'll tell you whut I heered. Dadda gotted his shoulder hurted at werk an Maman taked him toda hoomin V-E-T - dat wuld be Dokter B - an Dokter B wanted Dadda to be able to go to werk, bud not to do a wotta hebby werk at werk. So ebberybun is up-set. An Dadda is mad cossa sumbun finks he's not tellin Da Troof.
BEEBE: Whut?
BELINDA: Not to do a wotta hebby werk. Wif his shoulder. Da Troof. Which pawt aren't you geddin heer?
BEEBE: Whut?
BELINDA: Not do ennyfing bud werk onna 'puter, hokay? Stay inna office. Not go down an fix enny machines dat don werk. Just stay inna chair. No hebby werk. Why am I ebben 'splainin stuff to you? You don werk ebben onna good day, so how kin you unnerstan da consept ob werk?
BEEBE: I werk at enlargin holes in my habbytat. I gotta good one goin just now, which is more'n I kin say for you, Ms Busy-Body.
BELINDA: I'm goin to go to werk on your butt, Beebe-Smart-Mouf-Bunny! Now stop changin da subjek heer. Ennyways, soda peebles atta werk got mad at Dadda cos he gotted hurted an den he telled dem zactly whut happined an now dey are mad. Anna reason he gotted hurted is cossa dem. Cos he tolda troof.
CLOVER: How's that werk, Belinda?
BELINDA: Wike dis: Dis guy's machine didn werk cossa puter wassn't tawkin wiffit. So Dadda went down to see whuttsamatta wiffit. Well, dere was sum steel inna way so he couldn't see whutwassamatta. So Dadda wooked around forda crane to pik uppa steel an moob it, but sumbun else was usin da crane. So he was waidin for da crane, anna'nudder boss comed by an wanted to know whut he's waidin for. He says he's waidin forda crane. Soda udder boss says gedda job done NOW, don be standin aroun, wastin time. So Dadda piked uppa steel an moobed it, an hurted his shoulder. Bud he didn fink ennyfing ob it, cos he's not so young as he usta be. So he went home anna nextest day, his shoulder hurted bad, so he went toda dokter, which is Doktor B who he allus goes to. So Dokter B wooks atta shoulder an says, "You spwained da shoulder an pinched a nerb." So he writes dat inna note dat he sends to Dadda's werk. Now ebberybun atta werk is mad at Dadda.
HUNNY: Who is mad?
BELINDA: Well, da guy who told him to moob da steel is mad cos he said dat Dadda wooked fine onna day he moobed da steel. Anna'nudder guy is mad cos he sed Dadda shuldn't hab gone to Dokter B, bud to sum odder dokter atta Clinic sumplace. Anna'udder guy is mad cos Dokter B sed Dadda shuldn't do enny hebby werk. An dey all sed Dadda is not tellin da Troof, bud dey can't figger oud where. Budda fing is dis: Dadda went toda Clinic pwace wike dey wanted anna docter atta Clinic pwace sed da same fing was wrong as Dokter B sed is wrong. So peebles are ebben madder now.
HUNNY: Why didn't Dadda go toda clinic pwace furst?
BELINDA: Cos he wasn' gonna cost da compiny enny munnies. He was jus gonna pay Dokter B an dat wuld be dat. Cos wunna da guys dat is mad is mad cos he sed dat too menny peebles is goin toda Clinic, an now he is mad cos Dadda didn go toda Clinic.
CLOVER: Stupid.
BELINDA: Whut I don unnerstan is why suddenwy ebberybunny wants to hear Dadda tell da "troof" an den when dey heer it, dey say da troof issa wie. He has nebber wied to dem bifore, so why wuld he now?
BEEBE: Do dey want him to wie?
HUNNY: Hoomins say dey hate wies, bud dey all run aroun sayin dat ebberyone tells dem wies alla time. So how do dey know a wie frumma troof?
CLOVER: Whut's it ged Dadda to wie?
BELINDA: Nuffin.
CLOVER: Whut's it ged Dadda to tell da troof?
BELINDA: Nuffin more.
CLOVER: Den whutsamatta wif dees peebles?
MOUSE: Do you know what I think, most esteemed friends?
BELINDA: No, bud I expect you're gonna tell us.
MOUSE: I think that these people have lied all of their lives and expect that everyone else will lie to them. They simply cannot imagine anyone who tells the truth because they, themselves, are incapable of telling the truth. Is it not the thief who always expects to be robbed? Thus then is the liar always suspicious that whomever he meets is deceitful as well. These people aren't angry because Dadda is telling the Truth, they are angry because he has pointed out that they are without honour or intelligence. The man who complains that too many people go to the Clinic over trivial injuries has only himself to blame that Dadda did not go because he did not believe the injury was serious enough to warrant treatment. The man who insisted that he "get on" with moving the steel without waiting for the crane is angry because it points out that he is unintelligent for issuing a possibly dangerous direct order and wishes to conceal his stupidity. The Truth of what happened to Dadda is not of itself of any importance, what is important is that these people care more for their self-image than they do about others. And chances are that they will lie when they report this to anyone higher up than themselves - because at all costs, they must make themselves look good in other peeble's eyes.
BELINDA: So ebben if Dadda is tellin da troof, no wun will belieb him.
MOUSE: No. Because The Truth for those people is always subjective. They believe no one anyway - not their wives, not their children, not their friends, not their employers, not themselves. Truth doesn't matter; Image is everything.
BELINDA: It must suck to be dem!
MOUSE: "A lie can circle the globe before The Truth" can even get it's boots on."
CLOVER: Terry Pratchett.
HUNNY: He writes good buks to digest. Cept don tell Maman. She gets excited when you digest her best buks. Stick to hay. I hab sum here if ennybun would like to snack...
BELINDA: All I got was stems wast nite an dis mornin.
BEEBE: The bin is gettin empty.
CLOVER: Truth is facts; image is illusions.
MOUSE: It's a shame about peeble and The Truth.
BELINDA: In most ways, it's a shame aboud peeble. An dey fink dey're atta top obba Annymal Kingdom, too. Dat's a waf.
MOUSE: Another lie they tell to themselves...
HUNNY:...and den habba nap. Fings always wook bedder afta a nap, I allus say...

Posted by Our Warren at 10:41 AM EDT
Tuesday, 27 April 2004
Day Ten / 4th Strand
Most Welcomed Guests. I am Mouse, still here, keeping up the honourable Elder, Miss Belinda's, Blog.

The Honourable Miss Belinda is consuming salad just now. In fact, she is consuming all the salad she can get and has asked out dear Maman for more. And more. And more. She is asking for so much salad that dear Maman is going to ask the wonderful and much esteemed Healer, Dr Doolen, if she should give into the Honourable Miss Belinda's demands for constant, never-ending handouts of salad. It is a wonder to me that there is so much salad in the world!

The most honourable Elder Miss Belinda is, not to put too fine a point on it, very insistent with her demands. To not hand it over is in her beautiful eyes, a crime punishable by the giving of the Royal Bunny Butt on every possibly occasion. Consequently, she has her face turned into the corner more or less ALL OF THE TIME! A permanent state of *SNIT*.

Last night brought about two interesting events.

First, I was visited by the Honourable Miss Clover Bun.

Miss Clover is quiet. She does not speak a great deal. This is a consequence of being bonded to the ever-speaking Beebe-Bunny. Sliding in a word in the company of Beebe-Bunny is possible only when he pauses to draw breath. And then one must be very quick. Miss Clover has become adept at sliding in words into pauses. With one word, she can express more than most rabbits can in whole pre-written speeches.

I met her when her head appeared at my door.

"You are?"


"You are?"

"Happy on the whole. Might I invite you to be snuffled that we might,"

And thereupon, her head vanished, only to reappear again, ears turned sidewise.

"Papaya treats comin. Hab as menny as y'want. Don bite Dadda. His shulder hurts. Maman's gibbin hay. Don shout ad Hunny. He don feel gud. 'Nite."

And she was gone. And then she was back.

"Nice t'meet'cha."

And she was gone again.

Which was remarkable when one considers that previously I have only ever met Clover in the company of Beebe and then she was a most silent, dignified rabbit of a calm, matronly persuasion. Indeed, were I a youngbun without friend or family, I should find myself willingly cuddled up to her warm and motherly side.

From which, were I a small youngbun, I would be chased by Beebe who is a Tiny Terror, or wishes to be known as such. He is, as he never tires of telling us, in some alternate reality known only to himself, "A Very Big Rabbit".

The other unique occurrence of the night was the appearance of Missy-Bun, a large and most attractive youngbun of the California type. Missy is Bunderful! She is quite breathtaking in her ample softness. And yet, with perfect innocence she does not seem to realise how lovely she is. Big feets, little loppy ears, large eyes, a luxurious loppy crown, and generous dewlap, all perfectly coloured in neat California black-and-white, she is a most fetching bunny. Her sweet nature accentuates her beauty.

And last night, she appeared at my habitat door.

"Um, Mouse?"

"Yes, My Beauty?"

"Um, hi."


"Er, Hiya. Got Craisins?"

"Will you come in, dear lady?"

"Got papaya tablets?"

"I have beautiful hay, which pales by comparison to your luminous eyes."

"Yeah, well, thanks. Um. Hi."

"Hello, Gorgeous."

"Um. Gotta go! Bye!"

A uniquely disappointing turn of events. Perhaps our dearest Maman will permit Missy-Bun to return to visit with your most humble Mouse this evening. Even better should I be permitted out to visit with her!

I have not understood this "Bonding" of which our Maman speaks so highly. Seeing as how Hunny and Beebe live so contentedly full time with their sweet-natured does, perhaps I shall consider also sharing my habitat full-time with a doe. Missy-Bun would grace the life of any single bun who finds himself adrift in life without a warm snuggle. I have not given this much previous thought.

Perhaps I should.

As always, most esteemed Guest, I remain, most thoughtfully,
Your most humble

Posted by Our Warren at 9:39 AM EDT
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Monday, 26 April 2004
Day Nine / 4th Strand
It is Mouse here yet again.

This is much harder than I thought it would be. To have something of note to say every day is not easy. One speaks and thinks throughout the day, but most of it is nothing worthy of being written down.

I said I would tell you how I learned to speak and why it is so much different to the way the others here speak.

This is a strange place to me. All of the hoomins here have very white skin, that is unusual. I live in a room with all other bunnies and not just in the house, free. I cannot eat sweet things from a big box while I sit on the settee watching tellyvision with my Person as I did before. This house has no smells I am used to.

I am not complaining. It is not in my nature to complain about what is given to me. I am very glad to be here. Before I was here, I had not met other bunnies and did not know what it was like to have others of my own kind to be part of my Group. But life here is different from the life that I knew before.

Before I knew about a place called "Liberia". My person came from there. We listened to music that came from Liberia, and I smelled cooking food and species that came from that place. The people, his friends, who came from there had dark skin and talked in another language. I learned to hear their words before I learned these words.

I liked Liberia-in-America. Now I am in England-in-America, according to our Elder, Miss Belinda Bunny. Things are very different. The way that they speak is different, as is the way that they do everything. It is sometimes hard for me to accept that my life has changed.

I didn't want it to change. My person didn't want my life to change either, but his woman made it change. She was going to have something called a "baby" and she said that she couldn't have "rabbits" around the "baby". I do not understand why that is so, but she made it so. I was taken away sadly with Luckie. Then suddenly, we were brought here. And we were left here. And here we remain.

I cannot forget Liberia-in-America. It was my place for six years. It was how I lived with sweet treats out of a box and a tellyvision and the whole house. Now it is treats that are different and other bunnies who are funny and kind and a silly Maman and the Bun Room with toys.

Sometimes I do not understand everything. Sometimes I want my old life back. And then sometimes, I am very happy with my new life but do not know how I am to fit into it. How does one fit into a new world with an Elder like Miss Belinda Bunny in it? How does one get to know a wise, old bunny like the Ancient Hunny? I know my own Lore, but I have a lot of Lore that I must learn here, to become a part of this place. How can I learn everything there is to know and still be Mouse?

But I am Mouse. I will stay Mouse. I am the little Mouse who wishes to have the house and who wishes to know, to see, to learn. All of the things that I find will not change Mouse, they will add to Mouse and Mouse will grow into a very wise and respected Elder Bunny. But I have to keep reminding Mouse that this will not happen overnight, that Mouse must be like a forest creature and be patient and learn. Sometimes this is hard.

So that is the story of me, Mouse.

Therefore, I remain
Most Humbly

Posted by Our Warren at 8:10 AM EDT
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Saturday, 24 April 2004
Day Eight / 4th Strand
I offer to you my deepest apologies for not typing yesterday's entry in this, Miss Belinda's most wonderful, Blog. It was my intention to honour her by keeping it up during her ab-since, but being new to what she has called "The Blogging Experience", I made a mistake in Time - not taking what was offered to me by Our Maman and sleeping when, perhaps, I should have been typing to honour Miss Belinda who is Our most respected Top Bun.

I shall today try to Make Up for my not getting it right.

I am most pleased to report that Miss Belinda, most gracious and wonderful Elder of Our Warren, returned last night from the care and keeping of the most excellent Dr Doolen, the Healer.

She has come back in her carrier, with her Special Blankie, as is indeed correct for one of her high status. I will try to report what she has related of her journey thus far:

"Wemme tell you, it rained on us. Furst dere was wun dwop an Maman sed 'Uh oh', an den dere wassa big fwash an den I dunno whut happined on account obbit bein nite outsidda car an bein dark inside. Bud alla sudden it's wike sumbun is pourin a whole tankfulla wadder onna car. So Maman shrieked, an I feeled us slow rite down an den da rain was poundin onna car so hard dat I felt wike I was sittin inside obba drum or sumfing. I culd hardly hear myself fink!

"So ob course, I stands up to habba wook outta da carrier, an Maman's holdin ontoda steerin fingie wif bof hands wike grim deaf, an Dadda's dere peerin outta da winder wike he can see fru a solid sheet ob wadder. An den an Maman's wike, 'Hey! Where's sa road!?' An I'm finkin, 'Wady, if you don know where'da road is, we are in BIG Trubble!'

"So were goin slower an slower an Maman's geddin more an more skeert, an da rain is geddin louder an louder anna car-wheels sound wike we is ploughin fru a ribber. Den she squeaks to Dadda, 'Where's da fwashers?' an she an Dadda are fumblin aroun, pattin da steerin fingy all ober an Dadda sed sumfing boud 'Murrican cars shuld be 'standard-dized' an Maman's jus sqeekin wike she's got her hed stuck in sumfing. Anna rain is pourin down wike funder. It's wike habbin a 'Water World' 'Musement Ride wiffoud ennyfing 'musin goin on.

"An den, if you can `magin it, da rain geds wouder. An Maman pulls ober toda side obba road, an by now da rain is so woud dat she's screamin at Dadda so he kin hear her, 'No! I kin still dribe, it's just too much rain!' an he's wike, 'Will you gib ober, gurl! I'm not goin to dribe. I'd drown geddin toda driber's seat!' So dere shoutin at each udder and I'm finkin, 'Dis sucks.'

"An den da rain wets uppa widdle an Maman hassa wook inna mirror-fing an pulls back onna highway again. Anna winder-wipers are goin ninty-six toda duzzin an da car is wightin up ebbery now an den frum somefing oudside an Maman's tawkin toda car, tellin it to 'Come on, Car', which is preddy stoopid, cos she's inna car an it issn going ennywhere's wiffoud her.

"So we keeps on goin an Maman yells back to me, 'Hold on, Belinda!' an I'm finkin, 'Yeah, wike I gots sumfing else I kin do back here.' an den Dadda yells back an axts me, 'How you doin, Belle?' an I'm wike, 'Whuddaya mean, how am I doin? Whut'chu 'spect? I'm preddy choice-wess back here wiffouda a steerin fingy anna pedals. Jus keep Maman goin until we is home. Ya fink you kin dodat?' I mean, geez!

"So we keeps on dribin an afta awhile anna wotta turns dat almost tips me ober, cos I can't wie down wif alla dat noise goin on, we pulls innu a dribeway. An I know its a dribeway cos I kin feel da bounce, bud I also know it's nod OUR dribeway cos itsa wrong bounce, an guess whut happins den? We're nod home - we're pikin up Sistah anna stoopid puppy, Cody! Noboddy axted me abouddit, bud here we are. Well, dat was all I needed! So I just peed rite dere, cos I was rilly 'noyed - furst I'm inna hospiddle habbin salad an raspyberries, an den when I am just settled down to go to sweep I gots to go home inna almost-nite, den I'm almost drownded onna way, an now here'sa stoopid dawg twyin to snuffle me in my carrier! I'm twellin you, it's just bin wun indiggity afta anuudder.

"Don ged me wrong, I'm gwad I is home an ebberyfing, bud you kin go on an keep doin da Blog, cos fwankly, I needa west. I hab had it wif *ebberyfing* for awhile. An oh geez, here comes Maman wif meddycin! Dis is all I need!"

So Our Warren is now back together as it should be. Our Elder Miss Belinda is in her rightful place in her habbytat and for her esteemed honour, I will continue to keep her Blog. This is my duty to her for permitting me to become part of her Group. Ancient Hunny, most wise and experienced among us, has also given me permission to continue to express the observations and opinions of the bunnies living here. I feel honoured by their trust as is reposed in me.

Tomorrow Miss Clover has suggested that I explain the difference in my manner of talking as opposed to Miss Belinda's. It is odd to me to hear that all rabbits do not speak alike, however, there is good reason for it, as was explained to me by Ancient Hunny, from whom all wisdom seems to arise. How much we owe to the wonderful Elder rabbits among us!

Until tomorrow, then, I remain,
most humbly

Posted by Our Warren at 11:56 AM EDT
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Thursday, 22 April 2004
Day Sebben / 4th Strand - Mouse
Hello to everybunny.

My name is Mouse.

Before I contribute to this most important and accomplished of Blogs, I should like to take this moment to bid your prayers and best of thoughts for the good health and continued long life of the most wise and generous Elder of Our Group, Miss Belinda Bunny.

Miss Belinda is now in "Hospiddle". I am new to this Group and do not completely have understanding of this "hospiddle" place, but according to our Ancient Elder, Hunny, a very wise and Old Rabbit of many seasons, it is a place of great healing.

Miss Belinda is very ill. Her body has been attacked by a great Ememy that is called "Stasis" and Our Maman, who is our wonderful lady, has driven her in the "car" to this place of healing that is very far away so that Miss Belinda may come under the influence of the very great and powerful Dr Doolen, whom only Ancient Hunny and Elder Belinda have met. Dr Doolen has the "meddysins" to defeat this enemy, Stasis, and to make Miss Belinda well and happy again.

But while Miss Belinda is not here, I am taking over for her this Blog. Ancient Hunny says that he is too old to type every day. Mistress Poet agrees with him. Miss Missy says that she has no desire to type every day. Miss Clover and Mr Beebe ask for me to please say "YO" on their behalf, but really have nothing they care to add, except that Miss Clover sends her love to a very special hoomin whose name is, I believe, "Auntie Gwace". Luckie and I would like to send our love to our former Dadda who was so kind as to allow us to come here when our place with him became impossible. We are liking having computers, playtime, habitats, treats and friends.

As I said, my name is Mouse. I am a small, uppy-eared bunny. Until I came here, I did not realise that I was small. That I am not as large as I had thought has been a revelation to me. I had previously thought of myself as rather typical in size. This was, of course, because I had not seen other bunnies with the exception of Luckie who is about the same size as myself. Now I see that I am not physically as big as some bunnies, but I have a great heart.

How big you appear in this world is nothing compared to how big your spirit is within you. This is where your true size is measured.

I have learned many things since I have come here, both about humans and about bunnies. I hope to share some of these new enlightenments with you while I tend to Miss Belinda's Blog during her awayness.

It is my duty to tend to this, her Blog, for her. She has taken great pleasure in being the proud owner of this thing, so for her honour, I will tend it for her. She and I do not always see things in the same way, this is true, and we did contend mightily for certain things when I was first come to be a part of this Group. Mostly this was because I Did Not Know, but I have learned much since then. I am not sorry that I disputed with her, for without struggle, one cannot grow.

A plant does not easily push aside the soil to reach the sun. The greater the struggle, the stronger the stem.

So it has been with me. I have struggled with Miss Belinda and grown strong because of her. To thank her for giving me this strength, I will tend her cherished Blog while she is off with this Dr Doolen hoomin, engaged in her struggle with her Enemy, Stasis.

I am going to send her the strength of my thoughts now, so that she will have this strength to assist her in her struggle to be well. I hope that you will join me.

I am, most humbly,

Posted by Our Warren at 9:46 AM EDT
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Monday, 19 April 2004
Day Six / 4th Strand
Well, dis sucks.

Wast nite, I onwy ate wun Craisin an did wun pootie, so Maman sed I habba go toda V-E-T tiday.

So dis issa Pubwick Serbice Announcemint: Bunnies don't oftin show dat dey are sick, so if you habba bunny an da bunny issn actin wike it normally does, DON WAIT - GO TO DA V-E-T RITE AWAY!

Bunnies allus hide dere not feelin well. Dis is cos we are prey annymals, used to bein preyed upon by udders, an showin weakness - enny weakness - is fatal. So we hab debeloped a "instinctib response" to hide ennyfing dat's wrong wif us. Dat's why it sumtimes wooks wike dere's nuffin wrong wif us when rilly, dere is. Nod eatin, or nod doin pooties is berry serious an bunnies shuld be seen by a professhunal wifin 24 hours ob notisin enny change ob eatin or poopin habits.

Bemember, we can't ged to da V-E-Ts on our Own! We is dependin on our bunny-parents to take us. We is dependin on you, who gibs us a home to take responsibility to care for us. We gib you lub an accept you as you is. We is libbin in YOUR world - dat weast you can do for us is to take care ob our health.

Sumtimes Maman hears aboud dis or dat "Signifigant Odder" or a husband or wife dat says, "No takin da bunny toda vet."

Dis is cruel.

If da person were sick, dey would go to da doctor or da hospiddle.

So whut issit aboudda bunny's life dat makes it worf wess den da hoomin life?

Who assigns dollar values to a life?

Hoomins don' gib life. Dey don know how. Bud I hear obba wotta hoomins who take life away, or who descide who libs or who dies, or who assigns how much munny one life is worth ober anudder.

Who gibs one person or anudder dis power?

Issit right for one person to hab dat kinda power ober anudder?

Maman finks not. When sumone once told her dat she culdn't take a bunny toda V-E-T, she telled dem where to go. It was her first AckT ob Rebellion.

Dis is cos she can't see da diff'rence in Life. She says dat Life is Life, dat it is alla same Gift, da same Spark dat libs in alla fings dat are alibe. She says dat until hoomins can gib Life, dey hab no business in takin it away.

She also sed dat dis geds complykated a number ob ways dat she sed I don unnerstan, bud dat when it comes to annymals, wike bunnies, an dogs an ebben catz dat lib as companion annymals becos hoomins hab acksepted responsibility for dem, den dere is no way dat hoomins kin claim dat da annymal life is in enny way diff'runt frumma hoomin life in kind or value.

She says if you don wanna V-E-T bill, don habba pet. She sed it's a wot wike habbin skin-kids - if you don wanna habba responsibil'ty, den don habba kidwets.

So here I am, waidin to go toda V-E-T. No doubt I'm gonna habba my temp'rachur takin, an my insides felt. I won't wike it. I'll prob'ly habba hab medycin, wike Hunny, but I'm nod gonna be good aboud takin it wike he is. Since I know dis V-E-T an I wike her, I prob'ly won't pee on her.

Bud I'm gonna hab to go. Maman sed so.

Wike I sed inna beginnin, dis sucks.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:58 AM EDT
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Sunday, 18 April 2004
Day Five / 4th Strand
I dunno whut to say. It is warm oudside ob my window an I see dat dere are yellow spots onna lawn inna garden. I fink I wuld wike to go out dere bud I know Maman wuld make me wear my weash an my harness, cos she says dat is "dang'rus" oud'dere for bunnies on dere own.

An dis is troo, cos dere issa stwange cat oud'dere now. It wooks tiny frum up heer, but I know dat if I wuz down dere, it wuld wook a wot bigger.

Maman has our winder opin an dere issa bweeze. If I snuffle da bweeze, I kin read da nooz inna air.

Furst ob all, it smells stinky. Mostwy ob car-stink, bud dis is cos we lib too cwose to where dere are a wotta cars. Maman says dere is no where in Noo Joisey dat is not cwose to a wotta carz an twucks. Dey smell berry bad.

Sumbun not too far away is mowin da gwass. Maybe a couple ob sumbunnies.

Da yellow inna gwass is dandylions - berry tasty fwowers dat bunnies lub to eat. Maman will pwob'ly go oud an bwing sum in afta Church. I am nod goin to Church tiday. Maman said she hadda nuf ob dat wast week so tiday I can stay at home an fank God for dat.

So I will.

Hunny godda cwean witter box wast nite. I god mine axtidentally dumped on my hed. Maman had trubble wif my gate and her high-heeled shoes. She twipped anna witter box spilled an alla pooties rained down. Pooties bouncin wike hails all ober. So she hadda gedda Mr Broom an sweep an stuff. Dere was pooties all in my wadder bowl an in my food crock an ebberywhere. Ebberyfing hadda be cweaned, so while she was doin dat, I taked adbantage obba sitsheyashun an hadda walk downna hall where I found Cokie-da-Fat-Cat asleep onna cushion inna hallway. So I snuffled him an he jumped up inna air an ran away.

Stoopid cat.

Den I went to bisit Dadda inna bafroom. He was sittin down, bud he sed I wasn't sposed to be dere. Den he hollered for Maman when I stawted to rescue a perfeckwy good toilet paper roll frumma rubbish bin unner da zink. Not my fault datta rubbish bin tippyed ober an he didn' reach for it. I don hab hands to catch fings, do I?

So I gotta toob an was onna way back toda Bun Room wifit, an dere's Maman, cloggin uppa doorway, so I went 'round her, more wike between her ankuls an she dwopped da pootie box she was holdin and more pooties went ebberywhere, but I wasn't wookin, cos she had cwosed my gate.

So I made a turn an sent by Missy an down by Hunny an Poet's an den ober to Clover an Beebe's. Den I turned aroun an came back.

By dis time, Maman had sorted herself oud an Dadda was still inna bafroom, yellin, so I jus went inna habbytat an pud down my toob to figger out whut alla fuss was aboud.

An it was alla big, dumb catz fault. He had runned innu da bafroom afta me cos he was skert an twied to sit on Dadda's wap. Well, da cat has claws an Dadda didn' hab no pants an dat wassa pwoblem, but nod MY pwoblem cos it's nod my fault.

But I keeped hearin my name! "Belinda done dis!" an "Belinda done dat" and "Whut's Belinda doin inna hall?" an "Oi! Belinda!"

I dunno whuttsamatta wif dem. I'm heer inna habbytat an I godda noo toob to pway wif. I rescued it by myself frumma rubbish. Dat's recyckling. Dat's bein preddy darn green.

As forda spilled pooties, da claw-marks, da tipped ober rubbish, da skerty-cat anna rest ob it, dat's not MY fault...

Posted by Our Warren at 9:51 AM EDT
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Thursday, 15 April 2004
Day Four / 4th Strand
WHOA! Wook oud. Maman is onna rampage.

She commed in dis mornin, pwanted her hands on her hips an wooked at me an sed,

"Know whut? I'm sick ob dis."

An I'm finkin, "Yeah, well, know whut? Me, too! Whut's you sik aboud an den I'll tell you whut I'm sik aboud."

So Maman sed, "I'm sick ob it not bein Spring. I'm sick ob laundry. I'm sick ob dishes inna sink. An I'm sick ob ebberyfing dat's inna re'frigerrater for dinner."

An I'm finkin, "Gee, an I'm onwy sik ob habbin to pud up wif Mouse finkin he's hed ob ebberyfing when I know I amma Top Bun in dis Warren."

So she gibbed us some hay an went downnastairs to ged coffe an stuff.

An Missey, who libs nextest door to me wooked ober an sed, "Wunder whut dat was alla'boud."

So we had our hay (an Missey eated alla her's cos she don wike weftobers) an alla us seddled down forda Big Nap (Hunny, nach'urally godda hed stawt on dis as he does).

Den I hear Maman poundin uppa stairs again. An Our Door swides opin an in she comes an announces (wike she nebber weft da furst time),

"An you know whut else makes me sick?"

So I wook up wike I care an she goes on wiffoud missin a beat,

"Donald Trump an his stoopid show dat I habbin't watched an don intendda watch, noospapers dat make you sign in onna kompooter, da Media dat don repawt da facks, liars an pollytiks in general, an I don't fink much ob taxes, nidder!"

Den out she goes an swams Our Door behin' her - which causes Hunny to sort ob bounce in his pooty-box.

An Poet axted me, "Whut's a 'DonaldTrump'?" an I sed I hab no idea. An we is allaus in preddy much gen'ral agreemint dat we won't be geddin wun enny time soon, eidder since Maman seems to feel rather stwongly aboud it (whutebber it is).

An Hunny sed, "You know, wunce she geds stawted wike dis, she don stop. She's comin back."

An Beebe says, "Well, den, nappin's oud."

An I'm finkin ob sumfing dat Dadda says, dat goes, "Sod dis fora game ob soldiers.", which aldough id issn't helpful, sort ob does express my gen'ral feelins onna sitcheyashun.

An shure enuf, preddy soon da door swides back again an in she comes an tells alla us (wike she hadn't weft at all),

"Anna tellyphone, anna stoopid dryer sheets dat I fortygod to put inna stoopid dryer!"

An "WHAM!" She's off again, wettin go wiffa door on her way oud.

So we're all siddin dere, habbin hay an finkin pribate thoughts. Den Missy pipes up an says,

"Know whut? I'm sik ob dis!"

An "Thonk!" she frows her toss-toy. Den "Thonk!" she does it again. An again. An again. An Beebe geds his toss-toy and frows it. Den he frows it again. An Mouse stawts frowin his toilet paper toob aroun da inside ob his habbytat. So I god innu da spirit obba fing an frew my keys. Den Poet or Hunny began flingin dere cup aroun. An ebberybun is shoutin (siwentwy, ob korse), "Dis makes me sik!" an "Yeah! I'm sik ob dis!" an makin as much obba rackit as id is possyble fora bunch ob eight bunnies to make, an enjoyin id to pieces.

An jus as we're inna middle ob habbin a high old time, Maman appears atta Our Door. An She's jus standin dere, watchin us wiffa dis smile on her face.

An den she shakes her hed at us an says,

"You know whut I lub aboud you bunnies? You always wisten to ebbery werd I say!"

Posted by Our Warren at 1:55 PM EDT
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Wednesday, 14 April 2004
Day Free / 4th Strand - Confeshons Obba Easter Bunny - Pawt II
...Pawt II frum where I left off yestidday...

So we bumps innu da car park an Dadda disides dat I needa ride innu Church inna baskit. Well, wike I sed, it's rainin an my carrier has godda roof anna baskit don't, so can ennybun bwame me for nod wantin to come outta da carrier to get innu da baskit? I mean, Dadda is holdin da carrier pwacktikly perpendikular an I'm inside wif all feets out, holdin on, bwaced wike ennyfing an Dadda's callin,

"Comeon, Belle, dere's a good gurl."

Good gurl, my butt! I'm holdin on for deer-wife in dere an he's shakin da carrier uppin'down.

So, grabbity wins an I fall oud.

So now I'm geddin showered on, an Maman's carryin me innu da Church which is St. Luke's.

Well, dis is hokay, cos I bemembered dat I hab bin heer bifore. I see Agnes, who wikes me, an Edif who wooks at me kindly bud who won't touch me, an da nice wady inna choir who pets me, an Fader Dirk who wikes me anna whole wotta kids. An I bemeber dat dere are tweats heer called "cookies", but you onwy ged dem afta a wotta udder stuff has gone on.

Agnes hadda interestin fing on her hed wif fake fwowers onnit. I climbed up Dadda's shoulder an hadda wook innit. Den a pwate wif munny innit came by. I hadda wook innu dat, but Maman pulled me oud. Den I went uppa isle an I fought I was gonna gedda wook atta frunt obba pwace, bud Maman gotted hold obba harness an wuldn't wet me outta da baskit. Onna way, Maman stopped so sum kidlets culd pet me. Den back we came to our seet an I hadda'nudder wook innu Agnes's fing on her hed. Nice wady, Agnes. Shuld hab reel fwowers onn'er hed fing, doh.

So den comes da good pawt. I gets innu anudder room an I gets to ged down. Maman hassa stwing on me dat she calls a "leesh". I don pay too much 'tenshun to it.

Ebberwhere I wook, dere are eggs onna floor.

Fader Dirk axts me if ebberyfing is reddy. How da heck do I know? I'm wookin forda cookies. Dees are round an sweet an are wushally onna table where Maman geds coffee frum, bud I hab ot hab help frumma kidwets to ged to dem cos dey are high up. Butta kidwets are all inna hallway wif bags bein told to waidaminit by Fader Dirk.

An he's now tellin a story boud bein a tulip bulb. I normally wuldn't be payin 'tenshun, bud he said "Tulip" an I bemembered my friend "Tulip" who went toda Bridge. So I sitted an bemembered him an alla udder bunnies who hab gone ober da Rainbow Bridge watewy. It seems dat dere hab bin so menny!

An Fader Dirk sed dat we are wike tulip bulbs dat wook round an brown, an den we get pwanted and bwoom innu glorious fwowers. An dat dis is whut happins to hoomins when dey weab da Earth. Bunnies pass ober da Rainbow Bridge an hoomins ged pwanted. Bud it werks oud, you know?

So den, wike wadder pourin oudda Hunny's boddle when he broke it, Fader Dirk wet da kidwets outta da hallway. Maman piked me up an I watched dem run fru da rooms obba church, pikin up eggs to pud in pwastic bags.

An DEN, FINALLY, dey bwought outta cookies!

It takes hoomins forebber to ged toda good pawts.

Anna kidwets came to me wif cookies an I hadda sit dere inna baskit an hab pikchurs taked, bud I hadda cookies, so it wassn' too bad. Den I got tired obba cookies an hadda couplea Craisins, bud I got tired ob dem, too, so Maman wet me ged back innu my carrier an we bumped back innu da stinky car to go home.

An I god home an Hunny was dere and he axted me how it went, I sed it was hokay an told him aboudda cookies anna Tulip an stuff, an he sed dat hoomins are a reel puzzle an don make much sense ebben onna best ob days.

Hunny said, "I dunno whutta fuss is alla'boud. Da reel message ob Easter as far as I can unnerstanit is whut we rabbits alreddy know: 'Don be afraid. Nobun is OnAlone.'."

An I said, yes I know dis, bud mebbe dey hab to be beminded.

An Hunny fluffed up his fur an climbed innu his pooty-box an stawted eatin his hay. An I seddled down an had sum hay, too, an den hadda nap, cos dat's whut bunnies do onna rainy Sunday aftanoons: seddle down, hab sum hay, habba nap; nobun OnAlone.

Posted by Our Warren at 2:37 PM EDT
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Tuesday, 13 April 2004
Day Two / 4th Strand - Confeshons Obba Easter Bunny - Pawt I
HooBoy, SA! Are you ebber rite when you say dat dis Easter Bunny fing issa weird gig!

I knew it wassn gonna be a good day when Maman comed innu da Bun Room an calls oud, "Cooee! Dere's my widdle hare-bomb!"

An she's godda bunny-brush an she's heddin my way.

Now ushually, it's "Alla Us Togedder" inna Warren, but when Maman shows up wiffa bunny-brush during da Spring Shed, it's ebbery bun for demselbes. So far as we're concerned, da fur bewongs onna bunny until it comes off, when it is sposed to fall out nach'rally an ged recycled as bird-nest insoolashun. If Maman wants to colwect it an hand it oud to da birdies, den she can sweep it up offa floor, bud she's nod sposed to go "harvestin" it fresh offa bunny-butts wiffa brush.

Howebber, here she comed wiffa brush.

An she cornered me, an started in on my hed.

I culd tell frumma determined way she wuz goin aboud it dat I was in for a good, all-ober cleen, so I god as flat as I culd an Endured. An shur enuf, she god alla woose fur off my back, an went to werk on my butt.

An Hunny shouts out frum his habbytat, "Bedder you den me!"

Which is why, when I finally made my move to bolt, I went directly ober to his habbytat an peed. Ob course, it wuz onwy on his doorstep onna'count ob his door bein shut an cos he is too old a hand at dis stuff to wet himself ged caught near da frunt ob his habbytat when he knows I'm comin - but you godda go wif whut you can, 'speshully when Maman is chasin you an you onwy has time for a fast insult before she gwabs you.

So I wound up back in my own habbytat which was where Dadda found me when he arribed wiffa harness.

So I got flat again. "Harness" ushally means bad noos cos it means dat you is aboud to hab to meet hoomins who hab no cloo aboud rabbits. Da harness is dere for Maman to habba handle on you, which means you can't do whut you wanna do which is in direck contravenshun obba bunny's rite to allus do what she wants.

So geddin flat is da way to make it berry hard to gedda harness on. Now Dadda has big hands. Good for geddin wots ob tweats, bad for fastenin widdle cwips onna harness.

An Dadda hollas: "Sweedhard, I can't ged unner Belinda to ged dis fing on her!"

An I'm finkin, "Good, cos I'm not wearin dat."

So Maman comes in wif her face wookin half-formed (make-up by Crayola) an piks me up! Now dis is an indiggity! I do NOT wanna wear da "harness" fingie! Why is nobunny lissenin to me?

"Don't you wanna be da Easter Bunny?" asks Maman.

An I'm flingin my feets an finkin, "NO! I don wanna be da Easter Bunny! I wanna be Belinda Bunny an stay in my habbytat!"

Geez! I mean, can't dey unnerstand dat it is rainin oud, it is cwoudy an it's Sunday mornin. Dey is sposed to run aroun on Sunday mornin an den go away sumpwace an leeb me awone to ged on wif eatin hay an runnin dis Warren. What's wif alla brushin? Whut's dis harness? What's a "Easter Bunny" an why do I wanna be IT?

An as I'm geddin swept up inna air, I can see Hunny bouncin up an down, chucklin, in his pootybox.

An I'm finkin, "Holdonaminit. Dis bugger knows more aboud dis den he's tellin me."

So Maman an Dadda cwip dis "harness" fing unner my tummy an unner my chin an set me down in my habbytat. Den dey go away.

An Hunny says, "Bemember dat Hawthorn usta go bisitin?"

An I says, "Yeah. An he god tucked unner Maman's arm an hadda widdle speshul coat, god tweats an sumtimes he rided inna baskit. He said it wassn't too bad."

An Hunny grunted an says, "Well, he also wassa Easter Bunny atta Church. So was I until I god old an Maman sed I was 'retired'. So Hawthorn went toda Bridge, an I'm 'retired'. So guess who issa noo Easter Bunny."

An dat's whenna wight dawned.

An I says to Hunny, "Oh bugger."

An he says, "Yup. You ged to ride inna baskit dis time."

So den Dadda comed in wiffa carrier anna blankies an I god in anna door god shut an I can feel us goin downnastairs an out fru da libbin room. An we're goin downna Outside steps, anna whift ob damp come fru da carrier an I can smell da air an it's cold an rainy, anna car stinks an we're bumpin alwong an I'm finkin,

"Oh joy, I'mma Easter Bunny. Bugger, bugger, bugger..."

Pawt II tomorry...

Posted by Our Warren at 10:15 AM EDT
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Monday, 12 April 2004
Day One / 4th Strand
Well, Maman hadda go to werk an I screwed up so da Blog went on "hold-it" for a widdle while.

But I am back.

Amazin how life aroun heer can go frum "Hokay" to "Panick" in aboud 30 sekonds. Maman hassa genius forit. You start oud good to go inna mornin, an by da end obba day, ebberyfing is inna well-known tank... an den some idiot yanks da chain. As Hunny says, "Da pooty-tray obber-floweth."

Bud, dat's how it goes sumtimes.

"Nebber rejoice to see da wight atta end obba tunnel, cos it's onwy anudder on-comin twain."

Wun ob Maman's perfessers made dat innu a song.

Hunny's still eatin hay an insistin dat ebberyfing will come oud all rite as wong as ebberybun takes it easy an doesn't wose dere hed, werryin. I'm still siddin here watchin da wheels go round an round an twyin to make sense obbit all. Da udders are wonderin when it's goin to be ten o'clock so da tweats come in.

Da catz are still fine, an dey are still heer, which has got to be aboud normal. Missy went for KayCee's tail an missed yestidday, bud KayCee is geddin faster watewy an knows nod to go wabbin her tail *too* near to Missy's habbytat. Wast nite, Missy axted to be piked up, bud onwy so she culd geddown an go afta da cat, an Dadda sussed dat, so her pwan didn werk too well. She god piked up, but she also god cuddled an den pud down in her habbytat again, which annoyed her no end. It's wun fing to endure a cuddle, bud you need to ged sumfing oudda it, wike a warger swice ob nanner ora cat-tail.

I went to St. Luke's yestidday. I'm not ober it yet, so I will tell you aboud it tomorry. To be honest, I don' fink I wanna go again. I know Hawthorn made a career oudda it, bud I don fink dat it's *me*. Top Buns need to stay inna Warren an howebber honoursome it maybe to be da Churchbunny, I fink it's an honour dat I can do wiffoud. Bein Top Bun in dis Warren is enuf for me, an I rilly can't be habbin wif takin time off to be da Churchbunny when fings wif Mouse is still nod seddled. I dunno whut it is wif dat boy, bud he is still weabin callin-cawds for me dat refoose to acknollege me as Top Bun ob dis pwace.

So dis is where we are inna 4th Strand. Sorry dat I hab bin away. I hope dat fings heer will seddle down now an I kin go back to bloggin reg'larly again.

Bud for rite now, I'm gonna go habba snack. Anna nap.

Hunny's rite - bud don' tell him I sed so.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:11 AM EDT
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Wednesday, 31 March 2004
Day Nineteen / Third Strand (See Below)
I typed today's blog yestidday cos I was so upset dat I couldn't wait for tiday. So read it down dere, unner dis wun where it says "Day Nineteen / Third Strand - Definitions for Stoopid Hoomins".


Posted by Our Warren at 10:28 AM EST
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Tuesday, 30 March 2004
Day Nineteen / Third Strand - Definitions for Stoopid Hoomins
*EUTHANASIA* fr. Gk eu - easy + thanatos - death: 1. Easy, painless death 2. A painless killing


See, I have to type dat in big letters becos dere issa so-called "teacher" down in Plant City Florida named Jane Bender, who thinks dat it's not only hokay to kill baby rabbits dis way, but has her Hillsborough County School District standin behind her saying dat it's okay for kids to stand by and witness dis as pawt ob dere "eddykayshun".

Oh, anna district offishuals in Plant City Florida fink dat kids who find dis "teacher's" actions objectionable are "ober-sensitive".

Dey also stoopidly define whut dis monster offa "eddykator" did as "EUTHANASIA" - which goes to show you how very stoopid dese hoomins really are. Dey can't ebben wook a werd up inna Dictionary as I did and find a definition. If they did, they could hardly call whut dis dispicable woman did to da baby rabbits "euthanasia".

I'm a rabbit an I wooked uppa werd wiffoud habbin opposable thumbs. Mebbe I could teach an agrifultural class inna State ob Florida? I could sure do better den dis shower!

If you don't believe me here issa URL obba article: frum CNN:

Just cut and paste it innu your browser an you kin read whut passes for "eddykayshun" inna State ob Florida.

Dis woman, who is supposed to teach kids agriculture, killed baby rabbits wiffa shovel. Well, almost killed dem, den tried to bury dem alibe. She knows nuffin aboud rabbits - how bunny mothers feed their young only once a day, how kits will often get out of an improperly constructed nest box, how easy it is for them to "appear" pushed out or abandoned when they aren't.

But, ohmy, ohmy, dis woman issa teacher ob agriculture and she KNOWS alla'bout her subject! She unnerstands da definition of "euthanasia" so well! She unnerstands how to teach childrens the quaities of mercy towards an ill animal. She's really up on the latest veterinary care - so she has to hit a baby bunny with a shovel, cut it to bloody pieces and then not even have the decency to call a vet to send it over the Rainbow Bridge with some dignity.

Is this the kind of woman you want to teach your children?

Think about it long and hard.

What lessons in life do you want your children to know?

I hab tawked before aboud da Face ob Evil. Well, here you go, Hoomins - one obba barest faces ob Evil is in Florida, in Plant City, and she is teaching young peeble in high school that dismembering baby rabbits with a shovel and burying them alive is "euthanasia".

This woman and those who support her are Evil. They are Liars - hoomins who say a word is something that it isn't. They are Murderers who kill because they can, because a baby rabbit can't fight back.



Dis is your world as you you hab let it become. Whut are you gonna do aboud dis? Shake your hed and walk away? Dat will help.

How aboud find Plant City onna map an send dem a letter? Now that *might* help.

Or how about dis - tell ebbery person you know aboudda "teacher" who tells lies and who spills blood and calls on her students to watch. Tell ebbery person you know how disgusted you are. Write to udder hoomins you know who hab da care an responsibility for eddykating young peeble an say to dem: "Because of dis Monster inna Classroom in Florida, I am going to change my attytude toward rabbits. No buying fur. No buying bunnies for Easter. No more cruelty toward bunnies."

You see - dere is wun troof: Evil can only triumph when those of goodwill stay silent. Evil is only strong inna silent darkness ob ignorance.

Euthanasia is not done wiffa shovel. Dis woman is so ignorant dat she doesn't ebben know da meaning ob werds, let alone actions. She doesn't belong around children or animals.
So teach her werds: Call her whut she is.
Teach her actions: Remove her license to teach.
Remove her evil: Let inspire you to be a bedder person.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:00 PM EST
Updated: Tuesday, 30 March 2004 9:02 PM EST
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Day Eight'teen / Third Strand - Missy-Bun's Personal


Hmmm... no one is here. The 'puter is humming to itself. It is ... ahHA! .... *mine*!

"Single, generously proporshuned, Callyfornia-styled miniLop female of innypendant means wookin fora woommate. Has own habbytat. Fixed..." Dat would be me, although the Habbytat is very nice, too.

Please note that I was NOT broken in any way, shape or form prior to being what hoomins call "being fixed". It was a moral decision on my part. Belinda helped me to achieve Social Conscious in this matter of personal liberation. I do not need to bear a litter in order to be a fully-functionin female ob my species. I need only to exist as I am. My legacy to the future will be to maintain the courage of my decision and to further my desire to eddykate future gennyrations to reject society's role for them, and to play their own role in life as they see it.

I am Missy-Bun.

I come frum Noo Yawk.

When I was berry small, I was Gotcha'ed by a family fora wunnerful wady who was berry sick. I libbed mostly inna cage an didn't know her very well but she was wunnerful because she wanted me. I didn't know very much about anything at that time, being very young, inna noisey pwace wif dawgs and skin-kids an very serious hoomin things going on alla'round me, but I was much better off there than inna shelter or inna pet shop. I hadda home and this is a wunnerful thing fora bunny.

Then, the wady passed ober da Rainbow Bridge.

I was taken to a berry pleasant pwace by a nice man named Michael an his wady, Kari. Their home smelled nicely of Bunny. The only problem was that their Bunny wassn obba sharing disposition. Kramer was a Netherlands Dwarf, which speaks volumes to other rabbits when it comes to habbin Attytudes, Belinda says. Kramer hadda Big Attytude an a large pawt obbit had to do wif me getting the heck outta Dodge, so to speak. Well, it *was* HIS Dodge, so getting out offit was da polite fing to do.

So these noo peeble came to see me. I have since learned to call them Maman an Dadda. They are decidedly odd. They took me onna long trip inna car an now I am here, inna Bun Room in Our Warren, living nextest door to Belinda, anna acrosst da "hall", so to speak, frum Hunny and Poet. Here is where I hab my berry own Habbytat, as much attenshun as I want, an alla rest obba fings dat bunnies need for comfort an relaxashun, incloodin lub. Ebberybunny lubs ebberybun, except dat Mouse an Belinda don get along anna'kayshunally, the catz show up here.

I hate catz. We have two who lib here. I will not go into why I hate them just now. What is impawtant to know is that I do. I admit to being specie-ist. I discrimmynate against catz. It's cultural. Rabbits form the highest pinnacle ob social achiebemint; catz can't organise annyfing bedder than your average dust-up inna car-park before turning on each udder. They have no sense ob order, no sense ob social responsibility, no sense ob ennyfing except ob themselves and their personal pleasures.

I habba social conscious. I am a single bun of means. Belinda says that I don't hab to say "boo toa goose". I guess not. I don't hab to say ennyfing to ennybunny unless I want to. I want to sumtimes, but on my terms. Habbin terms is also part of being a bunny, Belinda says.

Belinda has taught me quite alot. She is a very innypendant Rabbit who hassa good sense ob herself. I wouldn't mind libbin wif her, 'cept she wants ALL the tweats an I'm not habbin that inna woommate. She has taught me that I am worth ALL the tweats just as she is. So we wood habba probwem libbin inna same Habbytat.

So that's why I'm doing today's Blog. I am empowered by the WorldWideWeb to seek my future woommate on MY TERMS. I habba Habbytat an hay, wadder an fresh food. I habba litterbox an wot's ob toys. Since I amma warge bun an wike to stretch out, I fink a small woommate is indykated. There is also Air Condishoning inna summer here, and Heat inna Winter. We hab 3 windows inna Bun Room and there is Sun all morning long.

So that aboud cobbers it. "Innypendant Bun-gurl ob means wif Habbytat an innypendant mind seeks woommate for companionship an intellygint conbersashun. Small size a plus. No eatin alla tweats. Good litterbox habits a must."

Actually, I think Mouse - him obber dere who is gibbin Belinda so much aggro - is kinda cute...

Posted by Our Warren at 9:49 AM EST
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