Day Elebben / 4th Strand
Today's Blog will feature a panel of bunnies.
Today's Topic will be: TRUTH (Troof)
Today's Recording Journalist: Mouse

CLOVER: Whutsamatta wif Dadda?
BELINDA: He telled da troof.
HUNNY: Dis issa good fing.
CLOVER: He is upset.
BELINDA: Wookit. Ebberbunny shaddup an I'll tell you whut I heered. Dadda gotted his shoulder hurted at werk an Maman taked him toda hoomin V-E-T - dat wuld be Dokter B - an Dokter B wanted Dadda to be able to go to werk, bud not to do a wotta hebby werk at werk. So ebberybun is up-set. An Dadda is mad cossa sumbun finks he's not tellin Da Troof.
BEEBE: Whut?
BELINDA: Not to do a wotta hebby werk. Wif his shoulder. Da Troof. Which pawt aren't you geddin heer?
BEEBE: Whut?
BELINDA: Not do ennyfing bud werk onna 'puter, hokay? Stay inna office. Not go down an fix enny machines dat don werk. Just stay inna chair. No hebby werk. Why am I ebben 'splainin stuff to you? You don werk ebben onna good day, so how kin you unnerstan da consept ob werk?
BEEBE: I werk at enlargin holes in my habbytat. I gotta good one goin just now, which is more'n I kin say for you, Ms Busy-Body.
BELINDA: I'm goin to go to werk on your butt, Beebe-Smart-Mouf-Bunny! Now stop changin da subjek heer. Ennyways, soda peebles atta werk got mad at Dadda cos he gotted hurted an den he telled dem zactly whut happined an now dey are mad. Anna reason he gotted hurted is cossa dem. Cos he tolda troof.
CLOVER: How's that werk, Belinda?
BELINDA: Wike dis: Dis guy's machine didn werk cossa puter wassn't tawkin wiffit. So Dadda went down to see whuttsamatta wiffit. Well, dere was sum steel inna way so he couldn't see whutwassamatta. So Dadda wooked around forda crane to pik uppa steel an moob it, but sumbun else was usin da crane. So he was waidin for da crane, anna'nudder boss comed by an wanted to know whut he's waidin for. He says he's waidin forda crane. Soda udder boss says gedda job done NOW, don be standin aroun, wastin time. So Dadda piked uppa steel an moobed it, an hurted his shoulder. Bud he didn fink ennyfing ob it, cos he's not so young as he usta be. So he went home anna nextest day, his shoulder hurted bad, so he went toda dokter, which is Doktor B who he allus goes to. So Dokter B wooks atta shoulder an says, "You spwained da shoulder an pinched a nerb." So he writes dat inna note dat he sends to Dadda's werk. Now ebberybun atta werk is mad at Dadda.
CLOVER: Why?
HUNNY: Who is mad?
BELINDA: Well, da guy who told him to moob da steel is mad cos he said dat Dadda wooked fine onna day he moobed da steel. Anna'nudder guy is mad cos he sed Dadda shuldn't hab gone to Dokter B, bud to sum odder dokter atta Clinic sumplace. Anna'udder guy is mad cos Dokter B sed Dadda shuldn't do enny hebby werk. An dey all sed Dadda is not tellin da Troof, bud dey can't figger oud where. Budda fing is dis: Dadda went toda Clinic pwace wike dey wanted anna docter atta Clinic pwace sed da same fing was wrong as Dokter B sed is wrong. So peebles are ebben madder now.
HUNNY: Why didn't Dadda go toda clinic pwace furst?
BELINDA: Cos he wasn' gonna cost da compiny enny munnies. He was jus gonna pay Dokter B an dat wuld be dat. Cos wunna da guys dat is mad is mad cos he sed dat too menny peebles is goin toda Clinic, an now he is mad cos Dadda didn go toda Clinic.
CLOVER: Stupid.
BELINDA: Whut I don unnerstan is why suddenwy ebberybunny wants to hear Dadda tell da "troof" an den when dey heer it, dey say da troof issa wie. He has nebber wied to dem bifore, so why wuld he now?
BEEBE: Do dey want him to wie?
HUNNY: Hoomins say dey hate wies, bud dey all run aroun sayin dat ebberyone tells dem wies alla time. So how do dey know a wie frumma troof?
CLOVER: Whut's it ged Dadda to wie?
BELINDA: Nuffin.
CLOVER: Whut's it ged Dadda to tell da troof?
BELINDA: Nuffin more.
CLOVER: Den whutsamatta wif dees peebles?
MOUSE: Do you know what I think, most esteemed friends?
BELINDA: No, bud I expect you're gonna tell us.
MOUSE: I think that these people have lied all of their lives and expect that everyone else will lie to them. They simply cannot imagine anyone who tells the truth because they, themselves, are incapable of telling the truth. Is it not the thief who always expects to be robbed? Thus then is the liar always suspicious that whomever he meets is deceitful as well. These people aren't angry because Dadda is telling the Truth, they are angry because he has pointed out that they are without honour or intelligence. The man who complains that too many people go to the Clinic over trivial injuries has only himself to blame that Dadda did not go because he did not believe the injury was serious enough to warrant treatment. The man who insisted that he "get on" with moving the steel without waiting for the crane is angry because it points out that he is unintelligent for issuing a possibly dangerous direct order and wishes to conceal his stupidity. The Truth of what happened to Dadda is not of itself of any importance, what is important is that these people care more for their self-image than they do about others. And chances are that they will lie when they report this to anyone higher up than themselves - because at all costs, they must make themselves look good in other peeble's eyes.
BELINDA: So ebben if Dadda is tellin da troof, no wun will belieb him.
MOUSE: No. Because The Truth for those people is always subjective. They believe no one anyway - not their wives, not their children, not their friends, not their employers, not themselves. Truth doesn't matter; Image is everything.
BELINDA: It must suck to be dem!
MOUSE: "A lie can circle the globe before The Truth" can even get it's boots on."
CLOVER: Terry Pratchett.
BEEBE: Who?
HUNNY: He writes good buks to digest. Cept don tell Maman. She gets excited when you digest her best buks. Stick to hay. I hab sum here if ennybun would like to snack...
BELINDA: All I got was stems wast nite an dis mornin.
BEEBE: The bin is gettin empty.
CLOVER: Truth is facts; image is illusions.
MOUSE: It's a shame about peeble and The Truth.
BELINDA: In most ways, it's a shame aboud peeble. An dey fink dey're atta top obba Annymal Kingdom, too. Dat's a waf.
MOUSE: Another lie they tell to themselves...
HUNNY:...and den habba nap. Fings always wook bedder afta a nap, I allus say...

Posted by Our Warren at 10:41 AM EDT

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Day Ten / 4th Strand
Most Welcomed Guests. I am Mouse, still here, keeping up the honourable Elder, Miss Belinda's, Blog.

The Honourable Miss Belinda is consuming salad just now. In fact, she is consuming all the salad she can get and has asked out dear Maman for more. And more. And more. She is asking for so much salad that dear Maman is going to ask the wonderful and much esteemed Healer, Dr Doolen, if she should give into the Honourable Miss Belinda's demands for constant, never-ending handouts of salad. It is a wonder to me that there is so much salad in the world!

The most honourable Elder Miss Belinda is, not to put too fine a point on it, very insistent with her demands. To not hand it over is in her beautiful eyes, a crime punishable by the giving of the Royal Bunny Butt on every possibly occasion. Consequently, she has her face turned into the corner more or less ALL OF THE TIME! A permanent state of *SNIT*.

Last night brought about two interesting events.

First, I was visited by the Honourable Miss Clover Bun.

Miss Clover is quiet. She does not speak a great deal. This is a consequence of being bonded to the ever-speaking Beebe-Bunny. Sliding in a word in the company of Beebe-Bunny is possible only when he pauses to draw breath. And then one must be very quick. Miss Clover has become adept at sliding in words into pauses. With one word, she can express more than most rabbits can in whole pre-written speeches.

I met her when her head appeared at my door.

"You are?"

"Mouse."

"You are?"

"Happy on the whole. Might I invite you to be snuffled that we might,"

And thereupon, her head vanished, only to reappear again, ears turned sidewise.

"Papaya treats comin. Hab as menny as y'want. Don bite Dadda. His shulder hurts. Maman's gibbin hay. Don shout ad Hunny. He don feel gud. 'Nite."

And she was gone. And then she was back.

"Nice t'meet'cha."

And she was gone again.

Which was remarkable when one considers that previously I have only ever met Clover in the company of Beebe and then she was a most silent, dignified rabbit of a calm, matronly persuasion. Indeed, were I a youngbun without friend or family, I should find myself willingly cuddled up to her warm and motherly side.

From which, were I a small youngbun, I would be chased by Beebe who is a Tiny Terror, or wishes to be known as such. He is, as he never tires of telling us, in some alternate reality known only to himself, "A Very Big Rabbit".

The other unique occurrence of the night was the appearance of Missy-Bun, a large and most attractive youngbun of the California type. Missy is Bunderful! She is quite breathtaking in her ample softness. And yet, with perfect innocence she does not seem to realise how lovely she is. Big feets, little loppy ears, large eyes, a luxurious loppy crown, and generous dewlap, all perfectly coloured in neat California black-and-white, she is a most fetching bunny. Her sweet nature accentuates her beauty.

And last night, she appeared at my habitat door.

"Um, Mouse?"

"Yes, My Beauty?"

"Um, hi."

"Hello."

"Er, Hiya. Got Craisins?"

"Will you come in, dear lady?"

"Got papaya tablets?"

"I have beautiful hay, which pales by comparison to your luminous eyes."

"Yeah, well, thanks. Um. Hi."

"Hello, Gorgeous."

"Um. Gotta go! Bye!"

A uniquely disappointing turn of events. Perhaps our dearest Maman will permit Missy-Bun to return to visit with your most humble Mouse this evening. Even better should I be permitted out to visit with her!

I have not understood this "Bonding" of which our Maman speaks so highly. Seeing as how Hunny and Beebe live so contentedly full time with their sweet-natured does, perhaps I shall consider also sharing my habitat full-time with a doe. Missy-Bun would grace the life of any single bun who finds himself adrift in life without a warm snuggle. I have not given this much previous thought.

Perhaps I should.

As always, most esteemed Guest, I remain, most thoughtfully,
Your most humble
Mouse

Day Nine / 4th Strand
It is Mouse here yet again.

This is much harder than I thought it would be. To have something of note to say every day is not easy. One speaks and thinks throughout the day, but most of it is nothing worthy of being written down.

I said I would tell you how I learned to speak and why it is so much different to the way the others here speak.

This is a strange place to me. All of the hoomins here have very white skin, that is unusual. I live in a room with all other bunnies and not just in the house, free. I cannot eat sweet things from a big box while I sit on the settee watching tellyvision with my Person as I did before. This house has no smells I am used to.

I am not complaining. It is not in my nature to complain about what is given to me. I am very glad to be here. Before I was here, I had not met other bunnies and did not know what it was like to have others of my own kind to be part of my Group. But life here is different from the life that I knew before.

Before I knew about a place called "Liberia". My person came from there. We listened to music that came from Liberia, and I smelled cooking food and species that came from that place. The people, his friends, who came from there had dark skin and talked in another language. I learned to hear their words before I learned these words.

I liked Liberia-in-America. Now I am in England-in-America, according to our Elder, Miss Belinda Bunny. Things are very different. The way that they speak is different, as is the way that they do everything. It is sometimes hard for me to accept that my life has changed.

I didn't want it to change. My person didn't want my life to change either, but his woman made it change. She was going to have something called a "baby" and she said that she couldn't have "rabbits" around the "baby". I do not understand why that is so, but she made it so. I was taken away sadly with Luckie. Then suddenly, we were brought here. And we were left here. And here we remain.

I cannot forget Liberia-in-America. It was my place for six years. It was how I lived with sweet treats out of a box and a tellyvision and the whole house. Now it is treats that are different and other bunnies who are funny and kind and a silly Maman and the Bun Room with toys.

Sometimes I do not understand everything. Sometimes I want my old life back. And then sometimes, I am very happy with my new life but do not know how I am to fit into it. How does one fit into a new world with an Elder like Miss Belinda Bunny in it? How does one get to know a wise, old bunny like the Ancient Hunny? I know my own Lore, but I have a lot of Lore that I must learn here, to become a part of this place. How can I learn everything there is to know and still be Mouse?

But I am Mouse. I will stay Mouse. I am the little Mouse who wishes to have the house and who wishes to know, to see, to learn. All of the things that I find will not change Mouse, they will add to Mouse and Mouse will grow into a very wise and respected Elder Bunny. But I have to keep reminding Mouse that this will not happen overnight, that Mouse must be like a forest creature and be patient and learn. Sometimes this is hard.

So that is the story of me, Mouse.

Therefore, I remain
Most Humbly
Mouse

Day Eight / 4th Strand
I offer to you my deepest apologies for not typing yesterday's entry in this, Miss Belinda's most wonderful, Blog. It was my intention to honour her by keeping it up during her ab-since, but being new to what she has called "The Blogging Experience", I made a mistake in Time - not taking what was offered to me by Our Maman and sleeping when, perhaps, I should have been typing to honour Miss Belinda who is Our most respected Top Bun.

I shall today try to Make Up for my not getting it right.

I am most pleased to report that Miss Belinda, most gracious and wonderful Elder of Our Warren, returned last night from the care and keeping of the most excellent Dr Doolen, the Healer.

She has come back in her carrier, with her Special Blankie, as is indeed correct for one of her high status. I will try to report what she has related of her journey thus far:

"Wemme tell you, it rained on us. Furst dere was wun dwop an Maman sed 'Uh oh', an den dere wassa big fwash an den I dunno whut happined on account obbit bein nite outsidda car an bein dark inside. Bud alla sudden it's wike sumbun is pourin a whole tankfulla wadder onna car. So Maman shrieked, an I feeled us slow rite down an den da rain was poundin onna car so hard dat I felt wike I was sittin inside obba drum or sumfing. I culd hardly hear myself fink!

"So ob course, I stands up to habba wook outta da carrier, an Maman's holdin ontoda steerin fingie wif bof hands wike grim deaf, an Dadda's dere peerin outta da winder wike he can see fru a solid sheet ob wadder. An den an Maman's wike, 'Hey! Where's sa road!?' An I'm finkin, 'Wady, if you don know where'da road is, we are in BIG Trubble!'

"So were goin slower an slower an Maman's geddin more an more skeert, an da rain is geddin louder an louder anna car-wheels sound wike we is ploughin fru a ribber. Den she squeaks to Dadda, 'Where's da fwashers?' an she an Dadda are fumblin aroun, pattin da steerin fingy all ober an Dadda sed sumfing boud 'Murrican cars shuld be 'standard-dized' an Maman's jus sqeekin wike she's got her hed stuck in sumfing. Anna rain is pourin down wike funder. It's wike habbin a 'Water World' 'Musement Ride wiffoud ennyfing 'musin goin on.

"An den, if you can `magin it, da rain geds wouder. An Maman pulls ober toda side obba road, an by now da rain is so woud dat she's screamin at Dadda so he kin hear her, 'No! I kin still dribe, it's just too much rain!' an he's wike, 'Will you gib ober, gurl! I'm not goin to dribe. I'd drown geddin toda driber's seat!' So dere shoutin at each udder and I'm finkin, 'Dis sucks.'

"An den da rain wets uppa widdle an Maman hassa wook inna mirror-fing an pulls back onna highway again. Anna winder-wipers are goin ninty-six toda duzzin an da car is wightin up ebbery now an den frum somefing oudside an Maman's tawkin toda car, tellin it to 'Come on, Car', which is preddy stoopid, cos she's inna car an it issn going ennywhere's wiffoud her.

"So we keeps on goin an Maman yells back to me, 'Hold on, Belinda!' an I'm finkin, 'Yeah, wike I gots sumfing else I kin do back here.' an den Dadda yells back an axts me, 'How you doin, Belle?' an I'm wike, 'Whuddaya mean, how am I doin? Whut'chu 'spect? I'm preddy choice-wess back here wiffouda a steerin fingy anna pedals. Jus keep Maman goin until we is home. Ya fink you kin dodat?' I mean, geez!

"So we keeps on dribin an afta awhile anna wotta turns dat almost tips me ober, cos I can't wie down wif alla dat noise goin on, we pulls innu a dribeway. An I know its a dribeway cos I kin feel da bounce, bud I also know it's nod OUR dribeway cos itsa wrong bounce, an guess whut happins den? We're nod home - we're pikin up Sistah anna stoopid puppy, Cody! Noboddy axted me abouddit, bud here we are. Well, dat was all I needed! So I just peed rite dere, cos I was rilly 'noyed - furst I'm inna hospiddle habbin salad an raspyberries, an den when I am just settled down to go to sweep I gots to go home inna almost-nite, den I'm almost drownded onna way, an now here'sa stoopid dawg twyin to snuffle me in my carrier! I'm twellin you, it's just bin wun indiggity afta anuudder.

"Don ged me wrong, I'm gwad I is home an ebberyfing, bud you kin go on an keep doin da Blog, cos fwankly, I needa west. I hab had it wif *ebberyfing* for awhile. An oh geez, here comes Maman wif meddycin! Dis is all I need!"

So Our Warren is now back together as it should be. Our Elder Miss Belinda is in her rightful place in her habbytat and for her esteemed honour, I will continue to keep her Blog. This is my duty to her for permitting me to become part of her Group. Ancient Hunny, most wise and experienced among us, has also given me permission to continue to express the observations and opinions of the bunnies living here. I feel honoured by their trust as is reposed in me.

Tomorrow Miss Clover has suggested that I explain the difference in my manner of talking as opposed to Miss Belinda's. It is odd to me to hear that all rabbits do not speak alike, however, there is good reason for it, as was explained to me by Ancient Hunny, from whom all wisdom seems to arise. How much we owe to the wonderful Elder rabbits among us!

Until tomorrow, then, I remain,
most humbly
Mouse

Day Sebben / 4th Strand - Mouse
Hello to everybunny.

My name is Mouse.

Before I contribute to this most important and accomplished of Blogs, I should like to take this moment to bid your prayers and best of thoughts for the good health and continued long life of the most wise and generous Elder of Our Group, Miss Belinda Bunny.

Miss Belinda is now in "Hospiddle". I am new to this Group and do not completely have understanding of this "hospiddle" place, but according to our Ancient Elder, Hunny, a very wise and Old Rabbit of many seasons, it is a place of great healing.

Miss Belinda is very ill. Her body has been attacked by a great Ememy that is called "Stasis" and Our Maman, who is our wonderful lady, has driven her in the "car" to this place of healing that is very far away so that Miss Belinda may come under the influence of the very great and powerful Dr Doolen, whom only Ancient Hunny and Elder Belinda have met. Dr Doolen has the "meddysins" to defeat this enemy, Stasis, and to make Miss Belinda well and happy again.

But while Miss Belinda is not here, I am taking over for her this Blog. Ancient Hunny says that he is too old to type every day. Mistress Poet agrees with him. Miss Missy says that she has no desire to type every day. Miss Clover and Mr Beebe ask for me to please say "YO" on their behalf, but really have nothing they care to add, except that Miss Clover sends her love to a very special hoomin whose name is, I believe, "Auntie Gwace". Luckie and I would like to send our love to our former Dadda who was so kind as to allow us to come here when our place with him became impossible. We are liking having computers, playtime, habitats, treats and friends.

As I said, my name is Mouse. I am a small, uppy-eared bunny. Until I came here, I did not realise that I was small. That I am not as large as I had thought has been a revelation to me. I had previously thought of myself as rather typical in size. This was, of course, because I had not seen other bunnies with the exception of Luckie who is about the same size as myself. Now I see that I am not physically as big as some bunnies, but I have a great heart.

How big you appear in this world is nothing compared to how big your spirit is within you. This is where your true size is measured.

I have learned many things since I have come here, both about humans and about bunnies. I hope to share some of these new enlightenments with you while I tend to Miss Belinda's Blog during her awayness.

It is my duty to tend to this, her Blog, for her. She has taken great pleasure in being the proud owner of this thing, so for her honour, I will tend it for her. She and I do not always see things in the same way, this is true, and we did contend mightily for certain things when I was first come to be a part of this Group. Mostly this was because I Did Not Know, but I have learned much since then. I am not sorry that I disputed with her, for without struggle, one cannot grow.

A plant does not easily push aside the soil to reach the sun. The greater the struggle, the stronger the stem.

So it has been with me. I have struggled with Miss Belinda and grown strong because of her. To thank her for giving me this strength, I will tend her cherished Blog while she is off with this Dr Doolen hoomin, engaged in her struggle with her Enemy, Stasis.

I am going to send her the strength of my thoughts now, so that she will have this strength to assist her in her struggle to be well. I hope that you will join me.

I am, most humbly,
Mouse

Day Six / 4th Strand
Well, dis sucks.

Wast nite, I onwy ate wun Craisin an did wun pootie, so Maman sed I habba go toda V-E-T tiday.

So dis issa Pubwick Serbice Announcemint: Bunnies don't oftin show dat dey are sick, so if you habba bunny an da bunny issn actin wike it normally does, DON WAIT - GO TO DA V-E-T RITE AWAY!

Bunnies allus hide dere not feelin well. Dis is cos we are prey annymals, used to bein preyed upon by udders, an showin weakness - enny weakness - is fatal. So we hab debeloped a "instinctib response" to hide ennyfing dat's wrong wif us. Dat's why it sumtimes wooks wike dere's nuffin wrong wif us when rilly, dere is. Nod eatin, or nod doin pooties is berry serious an bunnies shuld be seen by a professhunal wifin 24 hours ob notisin enny change ob eatin or poopin habits.

Bemember, we can't ged to da V-E-Ts on our Own! We is dependin on our bunny-parents to take us. We is dependin on you, who gibs us a home to take responsibility to care for us. We gib you lub an accept you as you is. We is libbin in YOUR world - dat weast you can do for us is to take care ob our health.

Sumtimes Maman hears aboud dis or dat "Signifigant Odder" or a husband or wife dat says, "No takin da bunny toda vet."

Dis is cruel.

If da person were sick, dey would go to da doctor or da hospiddle.

So whut issit aboudda bunny's life dat makes it worf wess den da hoomin life?

Who assigns dollar values to a life?

Hoomins don' gib life. Dey don know how. Bud I hear obba wotta hoomins who take life away, or who descide who libs or who dies, or who assigns how much munny one life is worth ober anudder.

Who gibs one person or anudder dis power?

Issit right for one person to hab dat kinda power ober anudder?

Maman finks not. When sumone once told her dat she culdn't take a bunny toda V-E-T, she telled dem where to go. It was her first AckT ob Rebellion.

Dis is cos she can't see da diff'rence in Life. She says dat Life is Life, dat it is alla same Gift, da same Spark dat libs in alla fings dat are alibe. She says dat until hoomins can gib Life, dey hab no business in takin it away.

She also sed dat dis geds complykated a number ob ways dat she sed I don unnerstan, bud dat when it comes to annymals, wike bunnies, an dogs an ebben catz dat lib as companion annymals becos hoomins hab acksepted responsibility for dem, den dere is no way dat hoomins kin claim dat da annymal life is in enny way diff'runt frumma hoomin life in kind or value.

She says if you don wanna V-E-T bill, don habba pet. She sed it's a wot wike habbin skin-kids - if you don wanna habba responsibil'ty, den don habba kidwets.

So here I am, waidin to go toda V-E-T. No doubt I'm gonna habba my temp'rachur takin, an my insides felt. I won't wike it. I'll prob'ly habba hab medycin, wike Hunny, but I'm nod gonna be good aboud takin it wike he is. Since I know dis V-E-T an I wike her, I prob'ly won't pee on her.

Bud I'm gonna hab to go. Maman sed so.

Wike I sed inna beginnin, dis sucks.

Day Five / 4th Strand
I dunno whut to say. It is warm oudside ob my window an I see dat dere are yellow spots onna lawn inna garden. I fink I wuld wike to go out dere bud I know Maman wuld make me wear my weash an my harness, cos she says dat is "dang'rus" oud'dere for bunnies on dere own.

An dis is troo, cos dere issa stwange cat oud'dere now. It wooks tiny frum up heer, but I know dat if I wuz down dere, it wuld wook a wot bigger.

Maman has our winder opin an dere issa bweeze. If I snuffle da bweeze, I kin read da nooz inna air.

Furst ob all, it smells stinky. Mostwy ob car-stink, bud dis is cos we lib too cwose to where dere are a wotta cars. Maman says dere is no where in Noo Joisey dat is not cwose to a wotta carz an twucks. Dey smell berry bad.

Sumbun not too far away is mowin da gwass. Maybe a couple ob sumbunnies.

Da yellow inna gwass is dandylions - berry tasty fwowers dat bunnies lub to eat. Maman will pwob'ly go oud an bwing sum in afta Church. I am nod goin to Church tiday. Maman said she hadda nuf ob dat wast week so tiday I can stay at home an fank God for dat.

So I will.

Hunny godda cwean witter box wast nite. I god mine axtidentally dumped on my hed. Maman had trubble wif my gate and her high-heeled shoes. She twipped anna witter box spilled an alla pooties rained down. Pooties bouncin wike hails all ober. So she hadda gedda Mr Broom an sweep an stuff. Dere was pooties all in my wadder bowl an in my food crock an ebberywhere. Ebberyfing hadda be cweaned, so while she was doin dat, I taked adbantage obba sitsheyashun an hadda walk downna hall where I found Cokie-da-Fat-Cat asleep onna cushion inna hallway. So I snuffled him an he jumped up inna air an ran away.

Stoopid cat.

Den I went to bisit Dadda inna bafroom. He was sittin down, bud he sed I wasn't sposed to be dere. Den he hollered for Maman when I stawted to rescue a perfeckwy good toilet paper roll frumma rubbish bin unner da zink. Not my fault datta rubbish bin tippyed ober an he didn' reach for it. I don hab hands to catch fings, do I?

So I gotta toob an was onna way back toda Bun Room wifit, an dere's Maman, cloggin uppa doorway, so I went 'round her, more wike between her ankuls an she dwopped da pootie box she was holdin and more pooties went ebberywhere, but I wasn't wookin, cos she had cwosed my gate.

So I made a turn an sent by Missy an down by Hunny an Poet's an den ober to Clover an Beebe's. Den I turned aroun an came back.

By dis time, Maman had sorted herself oud an Dadda was still inna bafroom, yellin, so I jus went inna habbytat an pud down my toob to figger out whut alla fuss was aboud.

An it was alla big, dumb catz fault. He had runned innu da bafroom afta me cos he was skert an twied to sit on Dadda's wap. Well, da cat has claws an Dadda didn' hab no pants an dat wassa pwoblem, but nod MY pwoblem cos it's nod my fault.

But I keeped hearin my name! "Belinda done dis!" an "Belinda done dat" and "Whut's Belinda doin inna hall?" an "Oi! Belinda!"

I dunno whuttsamatta wif dem. I'm heer inna habbytat an I godda noo toob to pway wif. I rescued it by myself frumma rubbish. Dat's recyckling. Dat's bein preddy darn green.

As forda spilled pooties, da claw-marks, da tipped ober rubbish, da skerty-cat anna rest ob it, dat's not MY fault...

Day Four / 4th Strand
WHOA! Wook oud. Maman is onna rampage.

She commed in dis mornin, pwanted her hands on her hips an wooked at me an sed,

"Know whut? I'm sick ob dis."

An I'm finkin, "Yeah, well, know whut? Me, too! Whut's you sik aboud an den I'll tell you whut I'm sik aboud."

So Maman sed, "I'm sick ob it not bein Spring. I'm sick ob laundry. I'm sick ob dishes inna sink. An I'm sick ob ebberyfing dat's inna re'frigerrater for dinner."

An I'm finkin, "Gee, an I'm onwy sik ob habbin to pud up wif Mouse finkin he's hed ob ebberyfing when I know I amma Top Bun in dis Warren."

So she gibbed us some hay an went downnastairs to ged coffe an stuff.

An Missey, who libs nextest door to me wooked ober an sed, "Wunder whut dat was alla'boud."

So we had our hay (an Missey eated alla her's cos she don wike weftobers) an alla us seddled down forda Big Nap (Hunny, nach'urally godda hed stawt on dis as he does).

Den I hear Maman poundin uppa stairs again. An Our Door swides opin an in she comes an announces (wike she nebber weft da furst time),

"An you know whut else makes me sick?"

So I wook up wike I care an she goes on wiffoud missin a beat,

"Donald Trump an his stoopid show dat I habbin't watched an don intendda watch, noospapers dat make you sign in onna kompooter, da Media dat don repawt da facks, liars an pollytiks in general, an I don't fink much ob taxes, nidder!"

Den out she goes an swams Our Door behin' her - which causes Hunny to sort ob bounce in his pooty-box.

An Poet axted me, "Whut's a 'DonaldTrump'?" an I sed I hab no idea. An we is allaus in preddy much gen'ral agreemint dat we won't be geddin wun enny time soon, eidder since Maman seems to feel rather stwongly aboud it (whutebber it is).

An Hunny sed, "You know, wunce she geds stawted wike dis, she don stop. She's comin back."

An Beebe says, "Well, den, nappin's oud."

An I'm finkin ob sumfing dat Dadda says, dat goes, "Sod dis fora game ob soldiers.", which aldough id issn't helpful, sort ob does express my gen'ral feelins onna sitcheyashun.

An shure enuf, preddy soon da door swides back again an in she comes an tells alla us (wike she hadn't weft at all),

"Anna tellyphone, anna stoopid dryer sheets dat I fortygod to put inna stoopid dryer!"

An "WHAM!" She's off again, wettin go wiffa door on her way oud.

So we're all siddin dere, habbin hay an finkin pribate thoughts. Den Missy pipes up an says,

"Know whut? I'm sik ob dis!"

An "Thonk!" she frows her toss-toy. Den "Thonk!" she does it again. An again. An again. An Beebe geds his toss-toy and frows it. Den he frows it again. An Mouse stawts frowin his toilet paper toob aroun da inside ob his habbytat. So I god innu da spirit obba fing an frew my keys. Den Poet or Hunny began flingin dere cup aroun. An ebberybun is shoutin (siwentwy, ob korse), "Dis makes me sik!" an "Yeah! I'm sik ob dis!" an makin as much obba rackit as id is possyble fora bunch ob eight bunnies to make, an enjoyin id to pieces.

An jus as we're inna middle ob habbin a high old time, Maman appears atta Our Door. An She's jus standin dere, watchin us wiffa dis smile on her face.

An den she shakes her hed at us an says,

"You know whut I lub aboud you bunnies? You always wisten to ebbery werd I say!"

Day Free / 4th Strand - Confeshons Obba Easter Bunny - Pawt II
...Pawt II frum where I left off yestidday...

So we bumps innu da car park an Dadda disides dat I needa ride innu Church inna baskit. Well, wike I sed, it's rainin an my carrier has godda roof anna baskit don't, so can ennybun bwame me for nod wantin to come outta da carrier to get innu da baskit? I mean, Dadda is holdin da carrier pwacktikly perpendikular an I'm inside wif all feets out, holdin on, bwaced wike ennyfing an Dadda's callin,

"Comeon, Belle, dere's a good gurl."

Good gurl, my butt! I'm holdin on for deer-wife in dere an he's shakin da carrier uppin'down.

So, grabbity wins an I fall oud.

So now I'm geddin showered on, an Maman's carryin me innu da Church which is St. Luke's.

Well, dis is hokay, cos I bemembered dat I hab bin heer bifore. I see Agnes, who wikes me, an Edif who wooks at me kindly bud who won't touch me, an da nice wady inna choir who pets me, an Fader Dirk who wikes me anna whole wotta kids. An I bemeber dat dere are tweats heer called "cookies", but you onwy ged dem afta a wotta udder stuff has gone on.

Agnes hadda interestin fing on her hed wif fake fwowers onnit. I climbed up Dadda's shoulder an hadda wook innit. Den a pwate wif munny innit came by. I hadda wook innu dat, but Maman pulled me oud. Den I went uppa isle an I fought I was gonna gedda wook atta frunt obba pwace, bud Maman gotted hold obba harness an wuldn't wet me outta da baskit. Onna way, Maman stopped so sum kidlets culd pet me. Den back we came to our seet an I hadda'nudder wook innu Agnes's fing on her hed. Nice wady, Agnes. Shuld hab reel fwowers onn'er hed fing, doh.

So den comes da good pawt. I gets innu anudder room an I gets to ged down. Maman hassa stwing on me dat she calls a "leesh". I don pay too much 'tenshun to it.

Ebberwhere I wook, dere are eggs onna floor.

Fader Dirk axts me if ebberyfing is reddy. How da heck do I know? I'm wookin forda cookies. Dees are round an sweet an are wushally onna table where Maman geds coffee frum, bud I hab ot hab help frumma kidwets to ged to dem cos dey are high up. Butta kidwets are all inna hallway wif bags bein told to waidaminit by Fader Dirk.

An he's now tellin a story boud bein a tulip bulb. I normally wuldn't be payin 'tenshun, bud he said "Tulip" an I bemembered my friend "Tulip" who went toda Bridge. So I sitted an bemembered him an alla udder bunnies who hab gone ober da Rainbow Bridge watewy. It seems dat dere hab bin so menny!

An Fader Dirk sed dat we are wike tulip bulbs dat wook round an brown, an den we get pwanted and bwoom innu glorious fwowers. An dat dis is whut happins to hoomins when dey weab da Earth. Bunnies pass ober da Rainbow Bridge an hoomins ged pwanted. Bud it werks oud, you know?

So den, wike wadder pourin oudda Hunny's boddle when he broke it, Fader Dirk wet da kidwets outta da hallway. Maman piked me up an I watched dem run fru da rooms obba church, pikin up eggs to pud in pwastic bags.

An DEN, FINALLY, dey bwought outta cookies!

It takes hoomins forebber to ged toda good pawts.

Anna kidwets came to me wif cookies an I hadda sit dere inna baskit an hab pikchurs taked, bud I hadda cookies, so it wassn' too bad. Den I got tired obba cookies an hadda couplea Craisins, bud I got tired ob dem, too, so Maman wet me ged back innu my carrier an we bumped back innu da stinky car to go home.

An I god home an Hunny was dere and he axted me how it went, I sed it was hokay an told him aboudda cookies anna Tulip an stuff, an he sed dat hoomins are a reel puzzle an don make much sense ebben onna best ob days.

Hunny said, "I dunno whutta fuss is alla'boud. Da reel message ob Easter as far as I can unnerstanit is whut we rabbits alreddy know: 'Don be afraid. Nobun is OnAlone.'."

An I said, yes I know dis, bud mebbe dey hab to be beminded.

An Hunny fluffed up his fur an climbed innu his pooty-box an stawted eatin his hay. An I seddled down an had sum hay, too, an den hadda nap, cos dat's whut bunnies do onna rainy Sunday aftanoons: seddle down, hab sum hay, habba nap; nobun OnAlone.

Day Two / 4th Strand - Confeshons Obba Easter Bunny - Pawt I
HooBoy, SA! Are you ebber rite when you say dat dis Easter Bunny fing issa weird gig!

I knew it wassn gonna be a good day when Maman comed innu da Bun Room an calls oud, "Cooee! Dere's my widdle hare-bomb!"

An she's godda bunny-brush an she's heddin my way.

Now ushually, it's "Alla Us Togedder" inna Warren, but when Maman shows up wiffa bunny-brush during da Spring Shed, it's ebbery bun for demselbes. So far as we're concerned, da fur bewongs onna bunny until it comes off, when it is sposed to fall out nach'rally an ged recycled as bird-nest insoolashun. If Maman wants to colwect it an hand it oud to da birdies, den she can sweep it up offa floor, bud she's nod sposed to go "harvestin" it fresh offa bunny-butts wiffa brush.

Howebber, here she comed wiffa brush.

An she cornered me, an started in on my hed.

I culd tell frumma determined way she wuz goin aboud it dat I was in for a good, all-ober cleen, so I god as flat as I culd an Endured. An shur enuf, she god alla woose fur off my back, an went to werk on my butt.

An Hunny shouts out frum his habbytat, "Bedder you den me!"

Which is why, when I finally made my move to bolt, I went directly ober to his habbytat an peed. Ob course, it wuz onwy on his doorstep onna'count ob his door bein shut an cos he is too old a hand at dis stuff to wet himself ged caught near da frunt ob his habbytat when he knows I'm comin - but you godda go wif whut you can, 'speshully when Maman is chasin you an you onwy has time for a fast insult before she gwabs you.

So I wound up back in my own habbytat which was where Dadda found me when he arribed wiffa harness.

So I got flat again. "Harness" ushally means bad noos cos it means dat you is aboud to hab to meet hoomins who hab no cloo aboud rabbits. Da harness is dere for Maman to habba handle on you, which means you can't do whut you wanna do which is in direck contravenshun obba bunny's rite to allus do what she wants.

So geddin flat is da way to make it berry hard to gedda harness on. Now Dadda has big hands. Good for geddin wots ob tweats, bad for fastenin widdle cwips onna harness.

An Dadda hollas: "Sweedhard, I can't ged unner Belinda to ged dis fing on her!"

An I'm finkin, "Good, cos I'm not wearin dat."

So Maman comes in wif her face wookin half-formed (make-up by Crayola) an piks me up! Now dis is an indiggity! I do NOT wanna wear da "harness" fingie! Why is nobunny lissenin to me?

"Don't you wanna be da Easter Bunny?" asks Maman.

An I'm flingin my feets an finkin, "NO! I don wanna be da Easter Bunny! I wanna be Belinda Bunny an stay in my habbytat!"

Geez! I mean, can't dey unnerstand dat it is rainin oud, it is cwoudy an it's Sunday mornin. Dey is sposed to run aroun on Sunday mornin an den go away sumpwace an leeb me awone to ged on wif eatin hay an runnin dis Warren. What's wif alla brushin? Whut's dis harness? What's a "Easter Bunny" an why do I wanna be IT?

An as I'm geddin swept up inna air, I can see Hunny bouncin up an down, chucklin, in his pootybox.

An I'm finkin, "Holdonaminit. Dis bugger knows more aboud dis den he's tellin me."

So Maman an Dadda cwip dis "harness" fing unner my tummy an unner my chin an set me down in my habbytat. Den dey go away.

An Hunny says, "Bemember dat Hawthorn usta go bisitin?"

An I says, "Yeah. An he god tucked unner Maman's arm an hadda widdle speshul coat, god tweats an sumtimes he rided inna baskit. He said it wassn't too bad."

An Hunny grunted an says, "Well, he also wassa Easter Bunny atta Church. So was I until I god old an Maman sed I was 'retired'. So Hawthorn went toda Bridge, an I'm 'retired'. So guess who issa noo Easter Bunny."

An dat's whenna wight dawned.

An I says to Hunny, "Oh bugger."

An he says, "Yup. You ged to ride inna baskit dis time."

So den Dadda comed in wiffa carrier anna blankies an I god in anna door god shut an I can feel us goin downnastairs an out fru da libbin room. An we're goin downna Outside steps, anna whift ob damp come fru da carrier an I can smell da air an it's cold an rainy, anna car stinks an we're bumpin alwong an I'm finkin,

"Oh joy, I'mma Easter Bunny. Bugger, bugger, bugger..."

Pawt II tomorry...

Day One / 4th Strand
Well, Maman hadda go to werk an I screwed up so da Blog went on "hold-it" for a widdle while.

But I am back.

Amazin how life aroun heer can go frum "Hokay" to "Panick" in aboud 30 sekonds. Maman hassa genius forit. You start oud good to go inna mornin, an by da end obba day, ebberyfing is inna well-known tank... an den some idiot yanks da chain. As Hunny says, "Da pooty-tray obber-floweth."

Bud, dat's how it goes sumtimes.

"Nebber rejoice to see da wight atta end obba tunnel, cos it's onwy anudder on-comin twain."

Wun ob Maman's perfessers made dat innu a song.

Hunny's still eatin hay an insistin dat ebberyfing will come oud all rite as wong as ebberybun takes it easy an doesn't wose dere hed, werryin. I'm still siddin here watchin da wheels go round an round an twyin to make sense obbit all. Da udders are wonderin when it's goin to be ten o'clock so da tweats come in.

Da catz are still fine, an dey are still heer, which has got to be aboud normal. Missy went for KayCee's tail an missed yestidday, bud KayCee is geddin faster watewy an knows nod to go wabbin her tail *too* near to Missy's habbytat. Wast nite, Missy axted to be piked up, bud onwy so she culd geddown an go afta da cat, an Dadda sussed dat, so her pwan didn werk too well. She god piked up, but she also god cuddled an den pud down in her habbytat again, which annoyed her no end. It's wun fing to endure a cuddle, bud you need to ged sumfing oudda it, wike a warger swice ob nanner ora cat-tail.

I went to St. Luke's yestidday. I'm not ober it yet, so I will tell you aboud it tomorry. To be honest, I don' fink I wanna go again. I know Hawthorn made a career oudda it, bud I don fink dat it's *me*. Top Buns need to stay inna Warren an howebber honoursome it maybe to be da Churchbunny, I fink it's an honour dat I can do wiffoud. Bein Top Bun in dis Warren is enuf for me, an I rilly can't be habbin wif takin time off to be da Churchbunny when fings wif Mouse is still nod seddled. I dunno whut it is wif dat boy, bud he is still weabin callin-cawds for me dat refoose to acknollege me as Top Bun ob dis pwace.

So dis is where we are inna 4th Strand. Sorry dat I hab bin away. I hope dat fings heer will seddle down now an I kin go back to bloggin reg'larly again.

Bud for rite now, I'm gonna go habba snack. Anna nap.

Hunny's rite - bud don' tell him I sed so.

Day Nineteen / Third Strand (See Below)
I typed today's blog yestidday cos I was so upset dat I couldn't wait for tiday. So read it down dere, unner dis wun where it says "Day Nineteen / Third Strand - Definitions for Stoopid Hoomins".

Fanks.

Day Nineteen / Third Strand - Definitions for Stoopid Hoomins
*EUTHANASIA* fr. Gk eu - easy + thanatos - death: 1. Easy, painless death 2. A painless killing

NOT BEING BEATEN AND DISMEMBERED, THEN BURIED ALIVE WITH A SHOVEL.

See, I have to type dat in big letters becos dere issa so-called "teacher" down in Plant City Florida named Jane Bender, who thinks dat it's not only hokay to kill baby rabbits dis way, but has her Hillsborough County School District standin behind her saying dat it's okay for kids to stand by and witness dis as pawt ob dere "eddykayshun".

Oh, anna district offishuals in Plant City Florida fink dat kids who find dis "teacher's" actions objectionable are "ober-sensitive".

Dey also stoopidly define whut dis monster offa "eddykator" did as "EUTHANASIA" - which goes to show you how very stoopid dese hoomins really are. Dey can't ebben wook a werd up inna Dictionary as I did and find a definition. If they did, they could hardly call whut dis dispicable woman did to da baby rabbits "euthanasia".

I'm a rabbit an I wooked uppa werd wiffoud habbin opposable thumbs. Mebbe I could teach an agrifultural class inna State ob Florida? I could sure do better den dis shower!

If you don't believe me here issa URL obba article: frum CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/South/03/30/rabbits.killed.ap/index.html

Just cut and paste it innu your browser an you kin read whut passes for "eddykayshun" inna State ob Florida.

Dis woman, who is supposed to teach kids agriculture, killed baby rabbits wiffa shovel. Well, almost killed dem, den tried to bury dem alibe. She knows nuffin aboud rabbits - how bunny mothers feed their young only once a day, how kits will often get out of an improperly constructed nest box, how easy it is for them to "appear" pushed out or abandoned when they aren't.

But, ohmy, ohmy, dis woman issa teacher ob agriculture and she KNOWS alla'bout her subject! She unnerstands da definition of "euthanasia" so well! She unnerstands how to teach childrens the quaities of mercy towards an ill animal. She's really up on the latest veterinary care - so she has to hit a baby bunny with a shovel, cut it to bloody pieces and then not even have the decency to call a vet to send it over the Rainbow Bridge with some dignity.

Is this the kind of woman you want to teach your children?

Think about it long and hard.

What lessons in life do you want your children to know?

I hab tawked before aboud da Face ob Evil. Well, here you go, Hoomins - one obba barest faces ob Evil is in Florida, in Plant City, and she is teaching young peeble in high school that dismembering baby rabbits with a shovel and burying them alive is "euthanasia".

This woman and those who support her are Evil. They are Liars - hoomins who say a word is something that it isn't. They are Murderers who kill because they can, because a baby rabbit can't fight back.

Yeah.

So.

Dis is your world as you you hab let it become. Whut are you gonna do aboud dis? Shake your hed and walk away? Dat will help.

How aboud find Plant City onna map an send dem a letter? Now that *might* help.

Or how about dis - tell ebbery person you know aboudda "teacher" who tells lies and who spills blood and calls on her students to watch. Tell ebbery person you know how disgusted you are. Write to udder hoomins you know who hab da care an responsibility for eddykating young peeble an say to dem: "Because of dis Monster inna Classroom in Florida, I am going to change my attytude toward rabbits. No buying fur. No buying bunnies for Easter. No more cruelty toward bunnies."

You see - dere is wun troof: Evil can only triumph when those of goodwill stay silent. Evil is only strong inna silent darkness ob ignorance.

Euthanasia is not done wiffa shovel. Dis woman is so ignorant dat she doesn't ebben know da meaning ob werds, let alone actions. She doesn't belong around children or animals.
So teach her werds: Call her whut she is.
Teach her actions: Remove her license to teach.
Remove her evil: Let inspire you to be a bedder person.

Day Eight'teen / Third Strand - Missy-Bun's Personal
Hiya...

Belinda?

Hmmm... no one is here. The 'puter is humming to itself. It is ... ahHA! .... *mine*!

"Single, generously proporshuned, Callyfornia-styled miniLop female of innypendant means wookin fora woommate. Has own habbytat. Fixed..." Dat would be me, although the Habbytat is very nice, too.

Please note that I was NOT broken in any way, shape or form prior to being what hoomins call "being fixed". It was a moral decision on my part. Belinda helped me to achieve Social Conscious in this matter of personal liberation. I do not need to bear a litter in order to be a fully-functionin female ob my species. I need only to exist as I am. My legacy to the future will be to maintain the courage of my decision and to further my desire to eddykate future gennyrations to reject society's role for them, and to play their own role in life as they see it.

I am Missy-Bun.

I come frum Noo Yawk.

When I was berry small, I was Gotcha'ed by a family fora wunnerful wady who was berry sick. I libbed mostly inna cage an didn't know her very well but she was wunnerful because she wanted me. I didn't know very much about anything at that time, being very young, inna noisey pwace wif dawgs and skin-kids an very serious hoomin things going on alla'round me, but I was much better off there than inna shelter or inna pet shop. I hadda home and this is a wunnerful thing fora bunny.

Then, the wady passed ober da Rainbow Bridge.

I was taken to a berry pleasant pwace by a nice man named Michael an his wady, Kari. Their home smelled nicely of Bunny. The only problem was that their Bunny wassn obba sharing disposition. Kramer was a Netherlands Dwarf, which speaks volumes to other rabbits when it comes to habbin Attytudes, Belinda says. Kramer hadda Big Attytude an a large pawt obbit had to do wif me getting the heck outta Dodge, so to speak. Well, it *was* HIS Dodge, so getting out offit was da polite fing to do.

So these noo peeble came to see me. I have since learned to call them Maman an Dadda. They are decidedly odd. They took me onna long trip inna car an now I am here, inna Bun Room in Our Warren, living nextest door to Belinda, anna acrosst da "hall", so to speak, frum Hunny and Poet. Here is where I hab my berry own Habbytat, as much attenshun as I want, an alla rest obba fings dat bunnies need for comfort an relaxashun, incloodin lub. Ebberybunny lubs ebberybun, except dat Mouse an Belinda don get along anna'kayshunally, the catz show up here.

I hate catz. We have two who lib here. I will not go into why I hate them just now. What is impawtant to know is that I do. I admit to being specie-ist. I discrimmynate against catz. It's cultural. Rabbits form the highest pinnacle ob social achiebemint; catz can't organise annyfing bedder than your average dust-up inna car-park before turning on each udder. They have no sense ob order, no sense ob social responsibility, no sense ob ennyfing except ob themselves and their personal pleasures.

I habba social conscious. I am a single bun of means. Belinda says that I don't hab to say "boo toa goose". I guess not. I don't hab to say ennyfing to ennybunny unless I want to. I want to sumtimes, but on my terms. Habbin terms is also part of being a bunny, Belinda says.

Belinda has taught me quite alot. She is a very innypendant Rabbit who hassa good sense ob herself. I wouldn't mind libbin wif her, 'cept she wants ALL the tweats an I'm not habbin that inna woommate. She has taught me that I am worth ALL the tweats just as she is. So we wood habba probwem libbin inna same Habbytat.

So that's why I'm doing today's Blog. I am empowered by the WorldWideWeb to seek my future woommate on MY TERMS. I habba Habbytat an hay, wadder an fresh food. I habba litterbox an wot's ob toys. Since I amma warge bun an wike to stretch out, I fink a small woommate is indykated. There is also Air Condishoning inna summer here, and Heat inna Winter. We hab 3 windows inna Bun Room and there is Sun all morning long.

So that aboud cobbers it. "Innypendant Bun-gurl ob means wif Habbytat an innypendant mind seeks woommate for companionship an intellygint conbersashun. Small size a plus. No eatin alla tweats. Good litterbox habits a must."

Actually, I think Mouse - him obber dere who is gibbin Belinda so much aggro - is kinda cute...

Day Sebbenteen / Third Strand
I dunno 'boud you, bud I am tired ob bein called a "bugger".

Wast nite, it happined again. Fird nite inna row. Twice.

Da widdle dawg ob Sistah's god uppinna middle obba nite an stawted yappin, an dat woke up Maman an Dadda anna stoopid catz. So Dadda god up wiffa dawg, an taked it downnastairs. Den dey comed back up. An Dadda stuck his hed inna Bun Room an sed,

"An no more outta you buggers."

Whut?

We haddint sedda werd.

So Mouse *fumped* an Poet frew her cup att'im. Den Missy waked up enuf to frow her rattle-toy an I frew my keys.

An dat wuz dat.

Denna dawned dawg stawted yappin again. Dis time it was yappin at Cokie-da-fat-cat who was sittin att'op obba stairs. So Cokie, who issn' bwight, but who has at weast sum mental aktibity, god up an moobed. So da dawg shut up - bud I herd Maman's boice an dat issn't ebber good - not at nite.

So den I herd KayCee growlin. Now dis is rilly not good, cos KayCee hassit in forda dawg. KayCee issa widdle cat wiffa needle-claws on tiny paws. An KayCee is hokay arounna bunnies ebber since Missy caught her by da tail an twied to reel her innu da habbytat - but KayCee hates dawgs an she kin allus argue Cokie aroun to her way ob seein fings (cos wike I sed, Cokie issn' all *dat* bwight...) an her way ob seeing fings ushually ends up wif a wotta runnin aroun an screamin.

So.

I laid down an stuck my feets oud behind me an waided cos you nebber know when fings are gonna ged good aroun heer.

So...

KayCee is growlin an talkin trash in Maman an Dadda's bedroom. I susposed she is onna bed, pwobably atta bottom on Maman's side where dere is most obba room. Cokie is atta top obba stairs. Da dawg, frum whut I can heer is nextest to Maman's side obba bed, rite inna doorway toda room. Dis means KayCee can't ged out, an Cokie can't ged in. Bein catz, KayCee wants oud, an Cokie wants in. It's a cwassik sett-up.

So dey go fer da hextchange - atta same time.

Well, da dawg is stoopid, as I told you bifore. Rule One if you issa dawg, is dat you NEBBER ged inna middle ob two catz - cos dat means dat your butt is facin one obb'em an dawgs can't kick. Now if you are a rabbit, enny cat dat geds behind you has it comin - an most cats don figger dis oud until dey're alreddy airborne. Bud wif dawgs, dey gots no armmamint inna backward areas. All dey gots issa tail an dis dawg's tail is curled high obber it's back, lebbin Impawtant Sensytib Area's highly exposed to sharp immplymintal attacks.

An doncha know dat dees two ebil-minded catz hadda dawg inna middle inna doorway.

So.

Wham! ('Elp!) And dat wuz KayCee slappin da dawg frum behind. An den it wuz *Thunk*, cossa dawg tried to whirl aroun inna doorway an ran straight innu da door-jam. An den Wham! ('Elp!) anna nudder *Thunk* as Cokie slammed it onna backside anna dawg whirld da udder way an ran innu da door-jam agin. An anudder Wham! ('Elp!) as KayCee caught it a good'un onna rebound (bud id managed to miss da doorway commin aroun dis time) an Wham! ('Elp) as Cokie caught it commin back.

An den Maman comes roarin to wife, wif a "WHUT da HELL are YOU DOIN?!?"

Ebbin Hunny herd dat, an he's deaf. He legged it forda back ob his habbytat, fell ober Poet an she took off an fell ober her tin cup. Dat didn half stawtle da rest obb'us an we all taked off jus on gen'ral princypals when Maman comed flyin outta da room wiffa dawg onna string, skatterin catz as she wint.

So downnastairs goes da dawg, an da back door slams opin an oud goes da dawg. Denna dawg comes in an back it comes uppa stairs, Maman stompin behin. An Maman ties uppa dawg toda bed an says to Dadda,

"I can't be habbin wif dis."

An Dadda says, "Da dawg goes back to Sistah tomorry nite an be att'er houz waidin for her to deel wif."

An Maman stomps off toda bafroom, bud just as she passes da Bun Room, she sticks her hed inna door an says,

"An dat'll be enuf outta you buggers, too!"

Dat dawg can't go home soon enuf for me.

Day Sixteen / Third Strand
Well, da dawg is still here an da catz habbin't killed it. Yet. Not for want ob tryin, doh, it's just dat Maman an Dadda keep geddin inna way.

Sistah called yestidday an Maman told a Lie. She sed datta dawg was hokay an doin good an wassn a "pwoblem".

Yeah, right.

Wemme tell you, dat puppy dawg issa BIG pwoblem.

Dadda sed datta puppy's biggest pwoblem issat it is too smawt an dat it is bored. Dis is why it is chewin on ebberyfing. It would wike to chew on Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, bud Cokie issn't habbin enny obbit. He sed he's notta furry chew-toy for nobunny, an datta puppy has godda wearn dat catz, in general, are not chew-toys.

I can't type whut KayCee says cos it issn't fit to type inna fambly blog dat youngbuns mite be readin. Most obbit sounds wike wadder wandin onna hot stobe.

Ennyways, not to be outdone or upstaged byda catz, wast nite, we bunnies god in onna 'cytmint.

Maman broughtted a fing home frum werk called "Da Floo" which she is keepin to herself, for onct, bud it is makin her cranky an goofy by turns. So she shows up wiffa meddycine for Hunny, alwong wif Dadda anna 'nanners.

So Dadda gwabs Hunny. So far, dis is aboud normal pwactice.

Bud I kin heer Hunny an he's gruntin, an whut's comin outta his mouf is inter'restin. He's sayin he's had enuf an he's nod gonna take id ennymore.

Now dis is whut is bein said by Maman's "Good Boy". Heh. "Good Boy" my furry butt...

So while Dadda is holdin a armload ob Hunny, Maman pokes da syringe fulla meddysin unner da bunny-lip, behind da bunny-teef an gibs it a squeeze. An insted ob wickin it up wike such a darned "Good Boy", da "Good Boy" just wet's grabbity take ober an da meddysin dat goes in comes rite out on Dadda's sweater sleeb.

An it soaks rite in. Inna nice, big, sticky spot.

So, ob course, Hunny, da "Good Boy", decides dat he now needs to kick oud his big feets an scrabble a widdle. Well, dis gets Dadda inbolbed inna sticky spot on his sweater, an da stickyness spreads onto Dadda's hands, an den onto Hunny.

Now Hunny is sheddin. We all are. It's da season for sheddin. So da Warren is fulla light, fluffy bunny fuzz. You kin ebben see it floatin aroun inna air when Maman runs da pootie-sucker. It's ebberywhere an Hunny's miniLop fur is 'specially fine an silky an hangs onna breeze. It also sticks to ebberyfing it touches dat issa weast bit sticky.

So now, Maman's wipstick, an Dadda's hands are cobbered in Hunny-hair. An Hunny, now dat his fur has been distrubed by scrabblin, wooks wike he has exploded. He has become da feared Hare-Bomb.

An it's warm inna Bun Room, cos we godda habba door shut onna'count obba stoopid puppy. So Dadda is stawtin to pis'spire. Ebben more fur sticks to'em, mainwy aroun his forehead an nek.

So Hunny seddles down an Maman geds da udder syringe. Unner da bunny-lip, behind da bunny-toofies she sticks it, an Hunny waps dis wun up cos it tastes good.

Bud Hunny is smawt. He kin count an he knows dat he onwy geds two meddysins now, not free. So now he stawts to scrabble again, cos he knows he's gonna ged down an gedda 'nanner for bein a "Good Boy". An Poet knows dat Dadda is gonna sed Hunny down inna habbytat dat dey share an dat she is gonna ged a nanner, too, cos Hunny is habbin wun.

An dat was sorta da siggynal forda rest ob us, too, to ged hextcited aboud nanners...

Well, dat's when da Hare-Bomb went off.

All eight bunnies runnin around, doin da Nanner Dance! An Dadda alreddy sticky an Maman nod much bedder off, an alla woose fur goin ebberywhere fru da air.

Yeah!

So Maman an Dadda hadda hab showers. An den da puppy anna catz had more arggymints ober who sleeps where. So Maman an Dadda were up all nite again wast nite, too.

Inter'restin times at Our Warren!

Day Fifteen / Third Strand
Hokay, I've had it!

Dere issa DAWG inna houz! An it's stoopid on top ob ebberyfing.

Happined wike dis: Sistah Beffy wented onna bay-kay-shun an axted Maman an Dadda to watch her stoopid puppy, Cody. Cody issa 6 monf old Shiba Innu (which means dat its innu ebberyfing!) or sumfing - Japanese bird dawg - aboudda size obba big rock an just aboud as dense.

Dis dawg issn wike Zachary-Marcus, da Border Collie who comes heer to stay sumtimes. Now Zach an I habba 'Greemint - he don snuzzle me wif dat huge, wet collie nose an I don bite it. An dis werks for us. We are bof bwack an white, we bof beat up onna catz, an we can snuggle, bud dis Shiba Innu fing - NO WAY!

It's young. It don't wisten. It yaps. It chews rubbish. It don god no manners. It needs to go to Good Dawg School RILLY bad!

An I'm stuck heer inna Bun Room cos Maman sed she can't twust da dawg wif me. I want it oudda heer. I habbin't had enny sweep since it camed heer an dat was wast nite.

Jus afta Maman an Dadda went to bed, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat comed toda Bun Room door an axted - AXTED - to come in! Can you belieb dat? An dat's ebbin wif Missy tearin out mouf-fulls ob cat-fuzz ebbery chance she geds! Bud Cokie sed he'd had enuf alreddy an wanted to sleep wif us where da dawg wassn.

Seems dat KayCee, da widdle kitty, was all uppindaayre cos she hates da dawg, an was in Maman an Dadda's room where Maman an Dadda had tied uppa dawg toda bed so dey could all sleep. Well, KayCee ushually don sleep in dere bed - Cokie does, bud KayCee decided she was goin ta be in dere so she culd Make A Point.

Hebben help us when catz stawt Makin Points. *geez*

Ennyway, dere was Cody onna floor an KayCee was onna bed an Maman an Dadda was inna bed. An I culd hear KayCee growlin. Nebber knew a cat who culd growl for so wong! She jus kept growlin an ebbery now an den, it sounded wike sumbun letta air outta her, wike steam escapin frumma pipe. She was talkin unbeliebable stuff to dat dawg!

Den da dawg, Cody, wuld yap. Den Maman wuld tell da dawg to be quiet. Den dere wuld be more growlin. Den more yappin. Den Dadda god innu it. Denna dawg godda smack, god offended an here comes Maman, carryin KayCee oud innu da hallway. An as soon as Maman pud her down, KayCee was rite back inna bedroom, growlin atta dawg.

Den KayCee climbed up Maman's side obba bed (still growlin) an Maman pikked her up agin an dodged da dawg an sed KayCee down inna hallway again.

Anna dawg yipped.

An Dadda told'da dawg to be quiet.

An den back KayCee went innu da bedroom.

Well, dis went on fora while, an Cokie's heer siddin by da Bun Room door, an waidin for me to wet him in. An Missy's frowin her toys aroun, an struttin, wike, "Yeah, you're comin in heer, Fat-Cat an I'm takin you out." Which sort ob god Mouse fumpin, cos he has no cloo whut's happin, which got Beebe fumpin, cos he's allus up for enny sorta fight cos he's a Wegend In His Own Mind.

So now dere are catz growlin, da dawg yippin, bunnies fumpin an frowin toys an Dadda's stawtin to growl an Maman is carryin catz back an forf toda hallway.

An I'm finkin, "Dis is gonna get good preddy soon."

An, ob course, it did.

KayCee was talkin bad fings, da dawg was unner da bed, an den I guess KayCee reached down an took a swipe atta dawg butt. Now KayCee issa sneaky cat. When Cokie goes to hit sumwun, he hits - big, ol' fat-cat paw wide opin, aboudda size obba soup-pwate comin at'tchoo. Bud KayCee is widdle an she gots widdle paws wif needle-claws an she stuck da dawg inna butt.

Da dawg musta gone aboud three feets inna air anna bed is aboud two foots high, so da udder foot musta hit Dadda inna butt - cos alla sudden, KayCee comed flyin outta dat room, all four paws inna air, screamin wike a rockit an wands, rightside up, inna laundry bin. Den nextest comes Maman, frowin on her bafrobe, an den Cokie pops up from next to our door wike, "Ooops!" an scurries off downnastairs, wif KayCee right on his tail.

Den I see whut da mass exydos is aboud... Dadda inna Bafrobe. An he is angry.

Da dawg is onna string, an da dawg is goin downnastairs, too.

Dawg goes inna kitchin. Door slams.

Catz zoom uppastairs an skatter.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

Feets onna stairs. Hunny (who is good at vibrashuns cos he can't hear a fing) says dat its Maman an Dadda an don mess wiff'em.

Bud Beebe is stoopid an he's gnawin on his habbytat cos he wants ta ged oud an see whut's goin on.

Snap.

On comes da Bun Room wight.

So I'm siddin dere, bwinkin, an Mouse fumps.

An Dadda wooks aroun an goes, "An dat will be enuf outta you buggers, too."

An you kin heer da siwence, fallin wike a widdle, fin curtain, ober da whole houz...

Den da wight snaps oud agin an Maman an Dadda ged back innu da bed, an I heer Dadda say, "I am too old for dis. We shuld stick wif rabbits."

Which is troo.

Day Four'teen / Third Strand - Belinda's Back!
Hunny is doin good dis mornin. So is ebberybunny else. Dere is hay an drinks ob wadder an dere is sunshine an Maman sed datta Wedder Serbice says it's gonna be warm.

So mebbe dis issa time forda "Bim Song"... bud bifore I sing it, I will tell you aboud Bim.

Bim was Maman's Dadda. His real name was "Bill" (well, dere wassa wot more den "Bill" axtchually, bud I don bemember alla it) bud when Sistah Beffy (who is Maman's dautter) was liddle, she couldn't say "Granddaddy" an she couldn't pronounce her "L"'s, so she would go to da stairs ob his study at dinner-time an call oud, "BIM! BIMMY! Dinner's Reddy!". An dat is how da Retired Professor ob Organic Chemistry (who hadda wong name anna title an all) gots to be called, "Bim".

Bim didn unnerstand much aboud rabbits assa gen'ral rool, bud he wiked ebbery annymal. I wiked him. I usta sit on him an snuffle his pockits to see if he hadda candies or ennyfing. He ushually hadda wotta odd stuff wike chalk an wint, an woose change, bud onct I found a stray Tic-Tak an almost ate it, bud Maman taked it away frum me. She sed it wuld make my tummy hurt. I didn't fink so, bud dere you are - anudder case ob discrimmynashun.

Ennyway, Bim usta come ober to our houz a wot. Ushually he was 'sposed to be goin sumwhere's else, bud he allus stopped off here first bekos Maman allus has fresh coffee. Maman also allus has ciggyrets an Bim wassn 'sposed to hab dem, bud he sed he spent two yeers inna medical school bifore he spent eight yeers in graduate school an dat was bifore he spended a whole dam' War inna Naby an stuff, an ennyway, he was gonna do whut he wanted just so wong as Maman didn't tell nobunny.

He an Maman were a wot awike. Dey were sarcastic an eddykated an wiked to tawk aboud buks an to fortyged aboud whut time it was onna clock. Maman's mawmie wuld call onna phone an wanna know whut Bim was doin wrong dis time an Maman wuld say stuff wike, "I habbint seed him." Maman says it's bein "non-confrontational", bud I fink she was wike her fadder anna 'fraid to hab to admit dat she was dat smawt an dat stoopid all atta same time.

So Bim went toda Rainbow Bridge a couple ob years ago. Maman was berry sad. I fink she still is sad dat he went on an weft her here, jus wike I am sad dat Hawthorn went on an weft me here. Bud we is here, so dat's preddy much dat.

Bud ebbery time dat Spwing FINALLY comes, afta da freak snows an suddin ices are ober, I bemember dat Bim wuld come to da houz an knock onna door - onna day just wike dis wun. Da sun wuld be shinin, an it wuld be warm, an Maman wuld hab just made more coffee inna pot, an den da door wuld opin an in wuld come Bim an he wuld stand inna middle obba dinin-room an he'd sing dis song:

"Sring is sprung.
"The grass is riz.
"I wonder where da birdies is?"

So dat's my song for tidday. Hoppy Spring, Ebberybunny!

Day Firteen / Third Strand - Belinda's Back!
Yeah, I am.

Hunny sed to fank you, Auntie Laura, forda nice commint. He's habbin his furst snak obba day after which he plans to habba nap an den anudder snak.

I hab just discobbered dat sum odder hoomin unnerstood snaks an naps. Forda past coupla nites, I hab bin watchin dis "Lord Obba Rings" trilogy wif Maman an Dadda. Innit dere are "Hobbits". Dey seem to be wike bunnies: dey lib in berry nice warrens, dey hab seberal meals a day, dey wike doin fings Alla Us Togedder, an dey preddy much onwy fight when cornered an den you don wanna mess wif dem.

Maman readed da buks to us a wong time ago, bud hassint readed dem to us since her kidwets god old enuf to read for demselbes. Now she reads to herself, too. Bud I seed da films an it wuz good. I say "it" bekos it's more wike wun big film an not two films strung togedder. Now I godda waid forda fird film to be onna deebeedee, but Maman sed dat dis issa gweatest story to come outta da centchury an dat it is worf waidin for. She an Dadda are still tawkin aboud it - aboudda charackters an aboudda "themes" ob Rezzyrekshun an Fall, an stuff wike dat. It innerests dem an keeps dem bizzy when dey aren't pettin us or gibbin oud tweats - which *shuld* be dere main innerest in life, bud libbin wif hoominz wike dees two mean you godda habba wotta "philosophy" frown innu da mix.

So dere's a wotta dis "philosophy" stuff goin on at Our Warren rite now. Anna wotta "werkin" at pwaces udder den heer. Nod a wotta "housekeepin" goin on, Maman sed, which is troo cos dere is sum hay in heer dat culd use sweepin oud. Hunny is geddin a wotta medycine anna wotta 'tenshun frum Maman, AND he's geddin alla tweats furst. Mouse is still *fumpin* alla time, an he issn't gonna be Top Bun cos I am and dat's dat. End ob Stowy. Beebe is still twyin to chew a noo hole in his habbytat to go bisitin, an dat's not goin down well wif Maman. Missy is huntin catz ebbery chance she geds an almost catchin dem. I dunno whut will happin if she geds anudder wun...

So nuffin's goin on heer, rilly, 'cept Maman sed dat Fader Dirk axt me to come to St. Luke's an obersee da Easter Egg Hunt. Hawthorn did it wast yeer. I went to St. Luke's oncet dis yeer an dere are good tweats on offer, so I fink I will go again. Maman sed I hab to ride inna baskit an wear a harness.

Yeah. We'll see.

Wast time, I didn ged to go alla pwaces in St Luke's Church dat I wanted to go. For hextample, I didn' ged to go wook atta "organ" an I didn ged to wook inna "choir" an I didn ged to go wook atta fing where Fader Dirk geds to stand an tawk. I wanna go to dees pwaces. I don fink enny udder bunnies hab bin dere an I fink I shuld be Furst, bein Top Bun an alla dat. Sumbun hasta do it an it mite as well be me. Can't fink why Hawthorn didn chin da pwace bedder da furst times he wuz dere, bud he didn, so I hab to. Hunny didn chin it nidder. You can't leeb guys to do ennyfing.

An den dere issa Parish Hall where dere are alla da tweats. Wots obb'em. Cookies, cakes, crumbs, ebberyfing. An dere are hoomins an widdle hoomins who will bwing you stuff when Maman issn't wookin.

Yeah. I godda keep alla dis in mind. I fink I will go an see if I kin ne-goat-she-ate aboudda harness fing. Anna hextplorin fing. Anna chinnin issue. Dere issa wotta werk to be done at dat Church an dere are onwy wun ob me to do it.

So heer we are. I fink Hunny anna Hobbit-peebles has it rite aboudda snaks - dere shuld be more obb'em inna day. Dere is hay. An den dere is more hay. Life is nod alla'boud tweats, Hunny says, an I guess he's rite.

Just don tell him I sed he's rite. Odderwise dere will be no libbin wif dat rabbit.

Day Twelbe / Third Strand - Hunny Blogs
Hullo. Me, Hunny heer.

I am geddin tired of dis habbin to blog ebbery day, so after dis one, I'm gibbin it back to Belinda.

I like habbin my nap-time inna mornings when she is busy bloggin, cos she isn't yakkin uppa storm while she's typin.

So heer are some werds of Rabbit Wisdom to leave with you:

Hab snaks often. They make the day more innerestin.

Binky every chance you get. Happiness should be sellybrated.

When the goin gets tough, the tough take a nap. No sense in staying awake while ebberyfing goes pear-shaped. If it's gonna go dat way anyhow, you might as well awake refreshed when the pooties hit the fan at the bottom obba hole.

Check your butt often. It's good to know how the other half is getting on.

Allus Hope. The bad fings inna werld can't feed offa Hope, so mebbe dey will starbe and go away.

Take the medycine. Otherwise Maman will chase you down and gib it to you ennyways. Take the baf. Otherwise Poet will chase you down and gib it to you ennyways. Take the advice. Otherwise Belinda will chase you down and gib it to you ennyways. Notice dey are are alla dem, wimmin. Dere issa lesson heer.

If there is no nanner one nite, you'll lib until da next. Don't ged hung up onnit.

Hab Faith. We aren't OnAlone. We are Alla Us Togedder. We might not allus get on Alla Us Togedder Alla Time, but when the pooties really hit the fan, we're Togedder.

Take each day assit comes. Be fankful forit no matter whut it brings. After all, it might not hab come at all. And, sumtimes, it just needs to rain.

Speaking of rain - if you get wet, you'll dry. If you're left, somebun will come. If you love, sumbun will love you back.

Dis werld issn't all dat dere is. Dere issa'nudder. Don't forget that. After all, if dere is Nothing Else, then there would be no point in This.

Rabbits know more den you. Look us in the eye and you will see that we know a great menny fings you don't know. Realise dat we are Right and let it go at that. You don't need to know ebberyting dere is, just accept dat you kin know only whut you need.

Do not be afraid. You are not OnAlone. Alla Us Togedder are One Big Warren, each ob us spcial in our own way. No madder how small you are, or how powerless you feel, or how young or how old, you matter to Da Warren.

Now go habba snak. Dere is hay. Dere are pellets. I kin hab my nap if I want. I kin leave pooties where I want cos I'm, me, Hunny. And I am twelbe yeers old, libbin on borrowed time an lubbin it.

Shaddup, Belinda! Poet, ged off my ears! Whoa! Dat's my tail? Where has it been all week-end? Now if I can just gedda good look attit... bugger... just when I finally ged sittin up, it dissypears again...