Day Five / 4th Strand
I dunno whut to say. It is warm oudside ob my window an I see dat dere are yellow spots onna lawn inna garden. I fink I wuld wike to go out dere bud I know Maman wuld make me wear my weash an my harness, cos she says dat is "dang'rus" oud'dere for bunnies on dere own.

An dis is troo, cos dere issa stwange cat oud'dere now. It wooks tiny frum up heer, but I know dat if I wuz down dere, it wuld wook a wot bigger.

Maman has our winder opin an dere issa bweeze. If I snuffle da bweeze, I kin read da nooz inna air.

Furst ob all, it smells stinky. Mostwy ob car-stink, bud dis is cos we lib too cwose to where dere are a wotta cars. Maman says dere is no where in Noo Joisey dat is not cwose to a wotta carz an twucks. Dey smell berry bad.

Sumbun not too far away is mowin da gwass. Maybe a couple ob sumbunnies.

Da yellow inna gwass is dandylions - berry tasty fwowers dat bunnies lub to eat. Maman will pwob'ly go oud an bwing sum in afta Church. I am nod goin to Church tiday. Maman said she hadda nuf ob dat wast week so tiday I can stay at home an fank God for dat.

So I will.

Hunny godda cwean witter box wast nite. I god mine axtidentally dumped on my hed. Maman had trubble wif my gate and her high-heeled shoes. She twipped anna witter box spilled an alla pooties rained down. Pooties bouncin wike hails all ober. So she hadda gedda Mr Broom an sweep an stuff. Dere was pooties all in my wadder bowl an in my food crock an ebberywhere. Ebberyfing hadda be cweaned, so while she was doin dat, I taked adbantage obba sitsheyashun an hadda walk downna hall where I found Cokie-da-Fat-Cat asleep onna cushion inna hallway. So I snuffled him an he jumped up inna air an ran away.

Stoopid cat.

Den I went to bisit Dadda inna bafroom. He was sittin down, bud he sed I wasn't sposed to be dere. Den he hollered for Maman when I stawted to rescue a perfeckwy good toilet paper roll frumma rubbish bin unner da zink. Not my fault datta rubbish bin tippyed ober an he didn' reach for it. I don hab hands to catch fings, do I?

So I gotta toob an was onna way back toda Bun Room wifit, an dere's Maman, cloggin uppa doorway, so I went 'round her, more wike between her ankuls an she dwopped da pootie box she was holdin and more pooties went ebberywhere, but I wasn't wookin, cos she had cwosed my gate.

So I made a turn an sent by Missy an down by Hunny an Poet's an den ober to Clover an Beebe's. Den I turned aroun an came back.

By dis time, Maman had sorted herself oud an Dadda was still inna bafroom, yellin, so I jus went inna habbytat an pud down my toob to figger out whut alla fuss was aboud.

An it was alla big, dumb catz fault. He had runned innu da bafroom afta me cos he was skert an twied to sit on Dadda's wap. Well, da cat has claws an Dadda didn' hab no pants an dat wassa pwoblem, but nod MY pwoblem cos it's nod my fault.

But I keeped hearin my name! "Belinda done dis!" an "Belinda done dat" and "Whut's Belinda doin inna hall?" an "Oi! Belinda!"

I dunno whuttsamatta wif dem. I'm heer inna habbytat an I godda noo toob to pway wif. I rescued it by myself frumma rubbish. Dat's recyckling. Dat's bein preddy darn green.

As forda spilled pooties, da claw-marks, da tipped ober rubbish, da skerty-cat anna rest ob it, dat's not MY fault...

Day Four / 4th Strand
WHOA! Wook oud. Maman is onna rampage.

She commed in dis mornin, pwanted her hands on her hips an wooked at me an sed,

"Know whut? I'm sick ob dis."

An I'm finkin, "Yeah, well, know whut? Me, too! Whut's you sik aboud an den I'll tell you whut I'm sik aboud."

So Maman sed, "I'm sick ob it not bein Spring. I'm sick ob laundry. I'm sick ob dishes inna sink. An I'm sick ob ebberyfing dat's inna re'frigerrater for dinner."

An I'm finkin, "Gee, an I'm onwy sik ob habbin to pud up wif Mouse finkin he's hed ob ebberyfing when I know I amma Top Bun in dis Warren."

So she gibbed us some hay an went downnastairs to ged coffe an stuff.

An Missey, who libs nextest door to me wooked ober an sed, "Wunder whut dat was alla'boud."

So we had our hay (an Missey eated alla her's cos she don wike weftobers) an alla us seddled down forda Big Nap (Hunny, nach'urally godda hed stawt on dis as he does).

Den I hear Maman poundin uppa stairs again. An Our Door swides opin an in she comes an announces (wike she nebber weft da furst time),

"An you know whut else makes me sick?"

So I wook up wike I care an she goes on wiffoud missin a beat,

"Donald Trump an his stoopid show dat I habbin't watched an don intendda watch, noospapers dat make you sign in onna kompooter, da Media dat don repawt da facks, liars an pollytiks in general, an I don't fink much ob taxes, nidder!"

Den out she goes an swams Our Door behin' her - which causes Hunny to sort ob bounce in his pooty-box.

An Poet axted me, "Whut's a 'DonaldTrump'?" an I sed I hab no idea. An we is allaus in preddy much gen'ral agreemint dat we won't be geddin wun enny time soon, eidder since Maman seems to feel rather stwongly aboud it (whutebber it is).

An Hunny sed, "You know, wunce she geds stawted wike dis, she don stop. She's comin back."

An Beebe says, "Well, den, nappin's oud."

An I'm finkin ob sumfing dat Dadda says, dat goes, "Sod dis fora game ob soldiers.", which aldough id issn't helpful, sort ob does express my gen'ral feelins onna sitcheyashun.

An shure enuf, preddy soon da door swides back again an in she comes an tells alla us (wike she hadn't weft at all),

"Anna tellyphone, anna stoopid dryer sheets dat I fortygod to put inna stoopid dryer!"

An "WHAM!" She's off again, wettin go wiffa door on her way oud.

So we're all siddin dere, habbin hay an finkin pribate thoughts. Den Missy pipes up an says,

"Know whut? I'm sik ob dis!"

An "Thonk!" she frows her toss-toy. Den "Thonk!" she does it again. An again. An again. An Beebe geds his toss-toy and frows it. Den he frows it again. An Mouse stawts frowin his toilet paper toob aroun da inside ob his habbytat. So I god innu da spirit obba fing an frew my keys. Den Poet or Hunny began flingin dere cup aroun. An ebberybun is shoutin (siwentwy, ob korse), "Dis makes me sik!" an "Yeah! I'm sik ob dis!" an makin as much obba rackit as id is possyble fora bunch ob eight bunnies to make, an enjoyin id to pieces.

An jus as we're inna middle ob habbin a high old time, Maman appears atta Our Door. An She's jus standin dere, watchin us wiffa dis smile on her face.

An den she shakes her hed at us an says,

"You know whut I lub aboud you bunnies? You always wisten to ebbery werd I say!"

Day Free / 4th Strand - Confeshons Obba Easter Bunny - Pawt II
...Pawt II frum where I left off yestidday...

So we bumps innu da car park an Dadda disides dat I needa ride innu Church inna baskit. Well, wike I sed, it's rainin an my carrier has godda roof anna baskit don't, so can ennybun bwame me for nod wantin to come outta da carrier to get innu da baskit? I mean, Dadda is holdin da carrier pwacktikly perpendikular an I'm inside wif all feets out, holdin on, bwaced wike ennyfing an Dadda's callin,

"Comeon, Belle, dere's a good gurl."

Good gurl, my butt! I'm holdin on for deer-wife in dere an he's shakin da carrier uppin'down.

So, grabbity wins an I fall oud.

So now I'm geddin showered on, an Maman's carryin me innu da Church which is St. Luke's.

Well, dis is hokay, cos I bemembered dat I hab bin heer bifore. I see Agnes, who wikes me, an Edif who wooks at me kindly bud who won't touch me, an da nice wady inna choir who pets me, an Fader Dirk who wikes me anna whole wotta kids. An I bemeber dat dere are tweats heer called "cookies", but you onwy ged dem afta a wotta udder stuff has gone on.

Agnes hadda interestin fing on her hed wif fake fwowers onnit. I climbed up Dadda's shoulder an hadda wook innit. Den a pwate wif munny innit came by. I hadda wook innu dat, but Maman pulled me oud. Den I went uppa isle an I fought I was gonna gedda wook atta frunt obba pwace, bud Maman gotted hold obba harness an wuldn't wet me outta da baskit. Onna way, Maman stopped so sum kidlets culd pet me. Den back we came to our seet an I hadda'nudder wook innu Agnes's fing on her hed. Nice wady, Agnes. Shuld hab reel fwowers onn'er hed fing, doh.

So den comes da good pawt. I gets innu anudder room an I gets to ged down. Maman hassa stwing on me dat she calls a "leesh". I don pay too much 'tenshun to it.

Ebberwhere I wook, dere are eggs onna floor.

Fader Dirk axts me if ebberyfing is reddy. How da heck do I know? I'm wookin forda cookies. Dees are round an sweet an are wushally onna table where Maman geds coffee frum, bud I hab ot hab help frumma kidwets to ged to dem cos dey are high up. Butta kidwets are all inna hallway wif bags bein told to waidaminit by Fader Dirk.

An he's now tellin a story boud bein a tulip bulb. I normally wuldn't be payin 'tenshun, bud he said "Tulip" an I bemembered my friend "Tulip" who went toda Bridge. So I sitted an bemembered him an alla udder bunnies who hab gone ober da Rainbow Bridge watewy. It seems dat dere hab bin so menny!

An Fader Dirk sed dat we are wike tulip bulbs dat wook round an brown, an den we get pwanted and bwoom innu glorious fwowers. An dat dis is whut happins to hoomins when dey weab da Earth. Bunnies pass ober da Rainbow Bridge an hoomins ged pwanted. Bud it werks oud, you know?

So den, wike wadder pourin oudda Hunny's boddle when he broke it, Fader Dirk wet da kidwets outta da hallway. Maman piked me up an I watched dem run fru da rooms obba church, pikin up eggs to pud in pwastic bags.

An DEN, FINALLY, dey bwought outta cookies!

It takes hoomins forebber to ged toda good pawts.

Anna kidwets came to me wif cookies an I hadda sit dere inna baskit an hab pikchurs taked, bud I hadda cookies, so it wassn' too bad. Den I got tired obba cookies an hadda couplea Craisins, bud I got tired ob dem, too, so Maman wet me ged back innu my carrier an we bumped back innu da stinky car to go home.

An I god home an Hunny was dere and he axted me how it went, I sed it was hokay an told him aboudda cookies anna Tulip an stuff, an he sed dat hoomins are a reel puzzle an don make much sense ebben onna best ob days.

Hunny said, "I dunno whutta fuss is alla'boud. Da reel message ob Easter as far as I can unnerstanit is whut we rabbits alreddy know: 'Don be afraid. Nobun is OnAlone.'."

An I said, yes I know dis, bud mebbe dey hab to be beminded.

An Hunny fluffed up his fur an climbed innu his pooty-box an stawted eatin his hay. An I seddled down an had sum hay, too, an den hadda nap, cos dat's whut bunnies do onna rainy Sunday aftanoons: seddle down, hab sum hay, habba nap; nobun OnAlone.

Day Two / 4th Strand - Confeshons Obba Easter Bunny - Pawt I
HooBoy, SA! Are you ebber rite when you say dat dis Easter Bunny fing issa weird gig!

I knew it wassn gonna be a good day when Maman comed innu da Bun Room an calls oud, "Cooee! Dere's my widdle hare-bomb!"

An she's godda bunny-brush an she's heddin my way.

Now ushually, it's "Alla Us Togedder" inna Warren, but when Maman shows up wiffa bunny-brush during da Spring Shed, it's ebbery bun for demselbes. So far as we're concerned, da fur bewongs onna bunny until it comes off, when it is sposed to fall out nach'rally an ged recycled as bird-nest insoolashun. If Maman wants to colwect it an hand it oud to da birdies, den she can sweep it up offa floor, bud she's nod sposed to go "harvestin" it fresh offa bunny-butts wiffa brush.

Howebber, here she comed wiffa brush.

An she cornered me, an started in on my hed.

I culd tell frumma determined way she wuz goin aboud it dat I was in for a good, all-ober cleen, so I god as flat as I culd an Endured. An shur enuf, she god alla woose fur off my back, an went to werk on my butt.

An Hunny shouts out frum his habbytat, "Bedder you den me!"

Which is why, when I finally made my move to bolt, I went directly ober to his habbytat an peed. Ob course, it wuz onwy on his doorstep onna'count ob his door bein shut an cos he is too old a hand at dis stuff to wet himself ged caught near da frunt ob his habbytat when he knows I'm comin - but you godda go wif whut you can, 'speshully when Maman is chasin you an you onwy has time for a fast insult before she gwabs you.

So I wound up back in my own habbytat which was where Dadda found me when he arribed wiffa harness.

So I got flat again. "Harness" ushally means bad noos cos it means dat you is aboud to hab to meet hoomins who hab no cloo aboud rabbits. Da harness is dere for Maman to habba handle on you, which means you can't do whut you wanna do which is in direck contravenshun obba bunny's rite to allus do what she wants.

So geddin flat is da way to make it berry hard to gedda harness on. Now Dadda has big hands. Good for geddin wots ob tweats, bad for fastenin widdle cwips onna harness.

An Dadda hollas: "Sweedhard, I can't ged unner Belinda to ged dis fing on her!"

An I'm finkin, "Good, cos I'm not wearin dat."

So Maman comes in wif her face wookin half-formed (make-up by Crayola) an piks me up! Now dis is an indiggity! I do NOT wanna wear da "harness" fingie! Why is nobunny lissenin to me?

"Don't you wanna be da Easter Bunny?" asks Maman.

An I'm flingin my feets an finkin, "NO! I don wanna be da Easter Bunny! I wanna be Belinda Bunny an stay in my habbytat!"

Geez! I mean, can't dey unnerstand dat it is rainin oud, it is cwoudy an it's Sunday mornin. Dey is sposed to run aroun on Sunday mornin an den go away sumpwace an leeb me awone to ged on wif eatin hay an runnin dis Warren. What's wif alla brushin? Whut's dis harness? What's a "Easter Bunny" an why do I wanna be IT?

An as I'm geddin swept up inna air, I can see Hunny bouncin up an down, chucklin, in his pootybox.

An I'm finkin, "Holdonaminit. Dis bugger knows more aboud dis den he's tellin me."

So Maman an Dadda cwip dis "harness" fing unner my tummy an unner my chin an set me down in my habbytat. Den dey go away.

An Hunny says, "Bemember dat Hawthorn usta go bisitin?"

An I says, "Yeah. An he god tucked unner Maman's arm an hadda widdle speshul coat, god tweats an sumtimes he rided inna baskit. He said it wassn't too bad."

An Hunny grunted an says, "Well, he also wassa Easter Bunny atta Church. So was I until I god old an Maman sed I was 'retired'. So Hawthorn went toda Bridge, an I'm 'retired'. So guess who issa noo Easter Bunny."

An dat's whenna wight dawned.

An I says to Hunny, "Oh bugger."

An he says, "Yup. You ged to ride inna baskit dis time."

So den Dadda comed in wiffa carrier anna blankies an I god in anna door god shut an I can feel us goin downnastairs an out fru da libbin room. An we're goin downna Outside steps, anna whift ob damp come fru da carrier an I can smell da air an it's cold an rainy, anna car stinks an we're bumpin alwong an I'm finkin,

"Oh joy, I'mma Easter Bunny. Bugger, bugger, bugger..."

Pawt II tomorry...

Day One / 4th Strand
Well, Maman hadda go to werk an I screwed up so da Blog went on "hold-it" for a widdle while.

But I am back.

Amazin how life aroun heer can go frum "Hokay" to "Panick" in aboud 30 sekonds. Maman hassa genius forit. You start oud good to go inna mornin, an by da end obba day, ebberyfing is inna well-known tank... an den some idiot yanks da chain. As Hunny says, "Da pooty-tray obber-floweth."

Bud, dat's how it goes sumtimes.

"Nebber rejoice to see da wight atta end obba tunnel, cos it's onwy anudder on-comin twain."

Wun ob Maman's perfessers made dat innu a song.

Hunny's still eatin hay an insistin dat ebberyfing will come oud all rite as wong as ebberybun takes it easy an doesn't wose dere hed, werryin. I'm still siddin here watchin da wheels go round an round an twyin to make sense obbit all. Da udders are wonderin when it's goin to be ten o'clock so da tweats come in.

Da catz are still fine, an dey are still heer, which has got to be aboud normal. Missy went for KayCee's tail an missed yestidday, bud KayCee is geddin faster watewy an knows nod to go wabbin her tail *too* near to Missy's habbytat. Wast nite, Missy axted to be piked up, bud onwy so she culd geddown an go afta da cat, an Dadda sussed dat, so her pwan didn werk too well. She god piked up, but she also god cuddled an den pud down in her habbytat again, which annoyed her no end. It's wun fing to endure a cuddle, bud you need to ged sumfing oudda it, wike a warger swice ob nanner ora cat-tail.

I went to St. Luke's yestidday. I'm not ober it yet, so I will tell you aboud it tomorry. To be honest, I don' fink I wanna go again. I know Hawthorn made a career oudda it, bud I don fink dat it's *me*. Top Buns need to stay inna Warren an howebber honoursome it maybe to be da Churchbunny, I fink it's an honour dat I can do wiffoud. Bein Top Bun in dis Warren is enuf for me, an I rilly can't be habbin wif takin time off to be da Churchbunny when fings wif Mouse is still nod seddled. I dunno whut it is wif dat boy, bud he is still weabin callin-cawds for me dat refoose to acknollege me as Top Bun ob dis pwace.

So dis is where we are inna 4th Strand. Sorry dat I hab bin away. I hope dat fings heer will seddle down now an I kin go back to bloggin reg'larly again.

Bud for rite now, I'm gonna go habba snack. Anna nap.

Hunny's rite - bud don' tell him I sed so.

Day Nineteen / Third Strand (See Below)
I typed today's blog yestidday cos I was so upset dat I couldn't wait for tiday. So read it down dere, unner dis wun where it says "Day Nineteen / Third Strand - Definitions for Stoopid Hoomins".

Fanks.

Day Nineteen / Third Strand - Definitions for Stoopid Hoomins
*EUTHANASIA* fr. Gk eu - easy + thanatos - death: 1. Easy, painless death 2. A painless killing

NOT BEING BEATEN AND DISMEMBERED, THEN BURIED ALIVE WITH A SHOVEL.

See, I have to type dat in big letters becos dere issa so-called "teacher" down in Plant City Florida named Jane Bender, who thinks dat it's not only hokay to kill baby rabbits dis way, but has her Hillsborough County School District standin behind her saying dat it's okay for kids to stand by and witness dis as pawt ob dere "eddykayshun".

Oh, anna district offishuals in Plant City Florida fink dat kids who find dis "teacher's" actions objectionable are "ober-sensitive".

Dey also stoopidly define whut dis monster offa "eddykator" did as "EUTHANASIA" - which goes to show you how very stoopid dese hoomins really are. Dey can't ebben wook a werd up inna Dictionary as I did and find a definition. If they did, they could hardly call whut dis dispicable woman did to da baby rabbits "euthanasia".

I'm a rabbit an I wooked uppa werd wiffoud habbin opposable thumbs. Mebbe I could teach an agrifultural class inna State ob Florida? I could sure do better den dis shower!

If you don't believe me here issa URL obba article: frum CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/South/03/30/rabbits.killed.ap/index.html

Just cut and paste it innu your browser an you kin read whut passes for "eddykayshun" inna State ob Florida.

Dis woman, who is supposed to teach kids agriculture, killed baby rabbits wiffa shovel. Well, almost killed dem, den tried to bury dem alibe. She knows nuffin aboud rabbits - how bunny mothers feed their young only once a day, how kits will often get out of an improperly constructed nest box, how easy it is for them to "appear" pushed out or abandoned when they aren't.

But, ohmy, ohmy, dis woman issa teacher ob agriculture and she KNOWS alla'bout her subject! She unnerstands da definition of "euthanasia" so well! She unnerstands how to teach childrens the quaities of mercy towards an ill animal. She's really up on the latest veterinary care - so she has to hit a baby bunny with a shovel, cut it to bloody pieces and then not even have the decency to call a vet to send it over the Rainbow Bridge with some dignity.

Is this the kind of woman you want to teach your children?

Think about it long and hard.

What lessons in life do you want your children to know?

I hab tawked before aboud da Face ob Evil. Well, here you go, Hoomins - one obba barest faces ob Evil is in Florida, in Plant City, and she is teaching young peeble in high school that dismembering baby rabbits with a shovel and burying them alive is "euthanasia".

This woman and those who support her are Evil. They are Liars - hoomins who say a word is something that it isn't. They are Murderers who kill because they can, because a baby rabbit can't fight back.

Yeah.

So.

Dis is your world as you you hab let it become. Whut are you gonna do aboud dis? Shake your hed and walk away? Dat will help.

How aboud find Plant City onna map an send dem a letter? Now that *might* help.

Or how about dis - tell ebbery person you know aboudda "teacher" who tells lies and who spills blood and calls on her students to watch. Tell ebbery person you know how disgusted you are. Write to udder hoomins you know who hab da care an responsibility for eddykating young peeble an say to dem: "Because of dis Monster inna Classroom in Florida, I am going to change my attytude toward rabbits. No buying fur. No buying bunnies for Easter. No more cruelty toward bunnies."

You see - dere is wun troof: Evil can only triumph when those of goodwill stay silent. Evil is only strong inna silent darkness ob ignorance.

Euthanasia is not done wiffa shovel. Dis woman is so ignorant dat she doesn't ebben know da meaning ob werds, let alone actions. She doesn't belong around children or animals.
So teach her werds: Call her whut she is.
Teach her actions: Remove her license to teach.
Remove her evil: Let inspire you to be a bedder person.

Day Eight'teen / Third Strand - Missy-Bun's Personal
Hiya...

Belinda?

Hmmm... no one is here. The 'puter is humming to itself. It is ... ahHA! .... *mine*!

"Single, generously proporshuned, Callyfornia-styled miniLop female of innypendant means wookin fora woommate. Has own habbytat. Fixed..." Dat would be me, although the Habbytat is very nice, too.

Please note that I was NOT broken in any way, shape or form prior to being what hoomins call "being fixed". It was a moral decision on my part. Belinda helped me to achieve Social Conscious in this matter of personal liberation. I do not need to bear a litter in order to be a fully-functionin female ob my species. I need only to exist as I am. My legacy to the future will be to maintain the courage of my decision and to further my desire to eddykate future gennyrations to reject society's role for them, and to play their own role in life as they see it.

I am Missy-Bun.

I come frum Noo Yawk.

When I was berry small, I was Gotcha'ed by a family fora wunnerful wady who was berry sick. I libbed mostly inna cage an didn't know her very well but she was wunnerful because she wanted me. I didn't know very much about anything at that time, being very young, inna noisey pwace wif dawgs and skin-kids an very serious hoomin things going on alla'round me, but I was much better off there than inna shelter or inna pet shop. I hadda home and this is a wunnerful thing fora bunny.

Then, the wady passed ober da Rainbow Bridge.

I was taken to a berry pleasant pwace by a nice man named Michael an his wady, Kari. Their home smelled nicely of Bunny. The only problem was that their Bunny wassn obba sharing disposition. Kramer was a Netherlands Dwarf, which speaks volumes to other rabbits when it comes to habbin Attytudes, Belinda says. Kramer hadda Big Attytude an a large pawt obbit had to do wif me getting the heck outta Dodge, so to speak. Well, it *was* HIS Dodge, so getting out offit was da polite fing to do.

So these noo peeble came to see me. I have since learned to call them Maman an Dadda. They are decidedly odd. They took me onna long trip inna car an now I am here, inna Bun Room in Our Warren, living nextest door to Belinda, anna acrosst da "hall", so to speak, frum Hunny and Poet. Here is where I hab my berry own Habbytat, as much attenshun as I want, an alla rest obba fings dat bunnies need for comfort an relaxashun, incloodin lub. Ebberybunny lubs ebberybun, except dat Mouse an Belinda don get along anna'kayshunally, the catz show up here.

I hate catz. We have two who lib here. I will not go into why I hate them just now. What is impawtant to know is that I do. I admit to being specie-ist. I discrimmynate against catz. It's cultural. Rabbits form the highest pinnacle ob social achiebemint; catz can't organise annyfing bedder than your average dust-up inna car-park before turning on each udder. They have no sense ob order, no sense ob social responsibility, no sense ob ennyfing except ob themselves and their personal pleasures.

I habba social conscious. I am a single bun of means. Belinda says that I don't hab to say "boo toa goose". I guess not. I don't hab to say ennyfing to ennybunny unless I want to. I want to sumtimes, but on my terms. Habbin terms is also part of being a bunny, Belinda says.

Belinda has taught me quite alot. She is a very innypendant Rabbit who hassa good sense ob herself. I wouldn't mind libbin wif her, 'cept she wants ALL the tweats an I'm not habbin that inna woommate. She has taught me that I am worth ALL the tweats just as she is. So we wood habba probwem libbin inna same Habbytat.

So that's why I'm doing today's Blog. I am empowered by the WorldWideWeb to seek my future woommate on MY TERMS. I habba Habbytat an hay, wadder an fresh food. I habba litterbox an wot's ob toys. Since I amma warge bun an wike to stretch out, I fink a small woommate is indykated. There is also Air Condishoning inna summer here, and Heat inna Winter. We hab 3 windows inna Bun Room and there is Sun all morning long.

So that aboud cobbers it. "Innypendant Bun-gurl ob means wif Habbytat an innypendant mind seeks woommate for companionship an intellygint conbersashun. Small size a plus. No eatin alla tweats. Good litterbox habits a must."

Actually, I think Mouse - him obber dere who is gibbin Belinda so much aggro - is kinda cute...

Day Sebbenteen / Third Strand
I dunno 'boud you, bud I am tired ob bein called a "bugger".

Wast nite, it happined again. Fird nite inna row. Twice.

Da widdle dawg ob Sistah's god uppinna middle obba nite an stawted yappin, an dat woke up Maman an Dadda anna stoopid catz. So Dadda god up wiffa dawg, an taked it downnastairs. Den dey comed back up. An Dadda stuck his hed inna Bun Room an sed,

"An no more outta you buggers."

Whut?

We haddint sedda werd.

So Mouse *fumped* an Poet frew her cup att'im. Den Missy waked up enuf to frow her rattle-toy an I frew my keys.

An dat wuz dat.

Denna dawned dawg stawted yappin again. Dis time it was yappin at Cokie-da-fat-cat who was sittin att'op obba stairs. So Cokie, who issn' bwight, but who has at weast sum mental aktibity, god up an moobed. So da dawg shut up - bud I herd Maman's boice an dat issn't ebber good - not at nite.

So den I herd KayCee growlin. Now dis is rilly not good, cos KayCee hassit in forda dawg. KayCee issa widdle cat wiffa needle-claws on tiny paws. An KayCee is hokay arounna bunnies ebber since Missy caught her by da tail an twied to reel her innu da habbytat - but KayCee hates dawgs an she kin allus argue Cokie aroun to her way ob seein fings (cos wike I sed, Cokie issn' all *dat* bwight...) an her way ob seeing fings ushually ends up wif a wotta runnin aroun an screamin.

So.

I laid down an stuck my feets oud behind me an waided cos you nebber know when fings are gonna ged good aroun heer.

So...

KayCee is growlin an talkin trash in Maman an Dadda's bedroom. I susposed she is onna bed, pwobably atta bottom on Maman's side where dere is most obba room. Cokie is atta top obba stairs. Da dawg, frum whut I can heer is nextest to Maman's side obba bed, rite inna doorway toda room. Dis means KayCee can't ged out, an Cokie can't ged in. Bein catz, KayCee wants oud, an Cokie wants in. It's a cwassik sett-up.

So dey go fer da hextchange - atta same time.

Well, da dawg is stoopid, as I told you bifore. Rule One if you issa dawg, is dat you NEBBER ged inna middle ob two catz - cos dat means dat your butt is facin one obb'em an dawgs can't kick. Now if you are a rabbit, enny cat dat geds behind you has it comin - an most cats don figger dis oud until dey're alreddy airborne. Bud wif dawgs, dey gots no armmamint inna backward areas. All dey gots issa tail an dis dawg's tail is curled high obber it's back, lebbin Impawtant Sensytib Area's highly exposed to sharp immplymintal attacks.

An doncha know dat dees two ebil-minded catz hadda dawg inna middle inna doorway.

So.

Wham! ('Elp!) And dat wuz KayCee slappin da dawg frum behind. An den it wuz *Thunk*, cossa dawg tried to whirl aroun inna doorway an ran straight innu da door-jam. An den Wham! ('Elp!) anna nudder *Thunk* as Cokie slammed it onna backside anna dawg whirld da udder way an ran innu da door-jam agin. An anudder Wham! ('Elp!) as KayCee caught it a good'un onna rebound (bud id managed to miss da doorway commin aroun dis time) an Wham! ('Elp) as Cokie caught it commin back.

An den Maman comes roarin to wife, wif a "WHUT da HELL are YOU DOIN?!?"

Ebbin Hunny herd dat, an he's deaf. He legged it forda back ob his habbytat, fell ober Poet an she took off an fell ober her tin cup. Dat didn half stawtle da rest obb'us an we all taked off jus on gen'ral princypals when Maman comed flyin outta da room wiffa dawg onna string, skatterin catz as she wint.

So downnastairs goes da dawg, an da back door slams opin an oud goes da dawg. Denna dawg comes in an back it comes uppa stairs, Maman stompin behin. An Maman ties uppa dawg toda bed an says to Dadda,

"I can't be habbin wif dis."

An Dadda says, "Da dawg goes back to Sistah tomorry nite an be att'er houz waidin for her to deel wif."

An Maman stomps off toda bafroom, bud just as she passes da Bun Room, she sticks her hed inna door an says,

"An dat'll be enuf outta you buggers, too!"

Dat dawg can't go home soon enuf for me.

Day Sixteen / Third Strand
Well, da dawg is still here an da catz habbin't killed it. Yet. Not for want ob tryin, doh, it's just dat Maman an Dadda keep geddin inna way.

Sistah called yestidday an Maman told a Lie. She sed datta dawg was hokay an doin good an wassn a "pwoblem".

Yeah, right.

Wemme tell you, dat puppy dawg issa BIG pwoblem.

Dadda sed datta puppy's biggest pwoblem issat it is too smawt an dat it is bored. Dis is why it is chewin on ebberyfing. It would wike to chew on Cokie-da-Fat-Cat, bud Cokie issn't habbin enny obbit. He sed he's notta furry chew-toy for nobunny, an datta puppy has godda wearn dat catz, in general, are not chew-toys.

I can't type whut KayCee says cos it issn't fit to type inna fambly blog dat youngbuns mite be readin. Most obbit sounds wike wadder wandin onna hot stobe.

Ennyways, not to be outdone or upstaged byda catz, wast nite, we bunnies god in onna 'cytmint.

Maman broughtted a fing home frum werk called "Da Floo" which she is keepin to herself, for onct, bud it is makin her cranky an goofy by turns. So she shows up wiffa meddycine for Hunny, alwong wif Dadda anna 'nanners.

So Dadda gwabs Hunny. So far, dis is aboud normal pwactice.

Bud I kin heer Hunny an he's gruntin, an whut's comin outta his mouf is inter'restin. He's sayin he's had enuf an he's nod gonna take id ennymore.

Now dis is whut is bein said by Maman's "Good Boy". Heh. "Good Boy" my furry butt...

So while Dadda is holdin a armload ob Hunny, Maman pokes da syringe fulla meddysin unner da bunny-lip, behind da bunny-teef an gibs it a squeeze. An insted ob wickin it up wike such a darned "Good Boy", da "Good Boy" just wet's grabbity take ober an da meddysin dat goes in comes rite out on Dadda's sweater sleeb.

An it soaks rite in. Inna nice, big, sticky spot.

So, ob course, Hunny, da "Good Boy", decides dat he now needs to kick oud his big feets an scrabble a widdle. Well, dis gets Dadda inbolbed inna sticky spot on his sweater, an da stickyness spreads onto Dadda's hands, an den onto Hunny.

Now Hunny is sheddin. We all are. It's da season for sheddin. So da Warren is fulla light, fluffy bunny fuzz. You kin ebben see it floatin aroun inna air when Maman runs da pootie-sucker. It's ebberywhere an Hunny's miniLop fur is 'specially fine an silky an hangs onna breeze. It also sticks to ebberyfing it touches dat issa weast bit sticky.

So now, Maman's wipstick, an Dadda's hands are cobbered in Hunny-hair. An Hunny, now dat his fur has been distrubed by scrabblin, wooks wike he has exploded. He has become da feared Hare-Bomb.

An it's warm inna Bun Room, cos we godda habba door shut onna'count obba stoopid puppy. So Dadda is stawtin to pis'spire. Ebben more fur sticks to'em, mainwy aroun his forehead an nek.

So Hunny seddles down an Maman geds da udder syringe. Unner da bunny-lip, behind da bunny-toofies she sticks it, an Hunny waps dis wun up cos it tastes good.

Bud Hunny is smawt. He kin count an he knows dat he onwy geds two meddysins now, not free. So now he stawts to scrabble again, cos he knows he's gonna ged down an gedda 'nanner for bein a "Good Boy". An Poet knows dat Dadda is gonna sed Hunny down inna habbytat dat dey share an dat she is gonna ged a nanner, too, cos Hunny is habbin wun.

An dat was sorta da siggynal forda rest ob us, too, to ged hextcited aboud nanners...

Well, dat's when da Hare-Bomb went off.

All eight bunnies runnin around, doin da Nanner Dance! An Dadda alreddy sticky an Maman nod much bedder off, an alla woose fur goin ebberywhere fru da air.

Yeah!

So Maman an Dadda hadda hab showers. An den da puppy anna catz had more arggymints ober who sleeps where. So Maman an Dadda were up all nite again wast nite, too.

Inter'restin times at Our Warren!

Day Fifteen / Third Strand
Hokay, I've had it!

Dere issa DAWG inna houz! An it's stoopid on top ob ebberyfing.

Happined wike dis: Sistah Beffy wented onna bay-kay-shun an axted Maman an Dadda to watch her stoopid puppy, Cody. Cody issa 6 monf old Shiba Innu (which means dat its innu ebberyfing!) or sumfing - Japanese bird dawg - aboudda size obba big rock an just aboud as dense.

Dis dawg issn wike Zachary-Marcus, da Border Collie who comes heer to stay sumtimes. Now Zach an I habba 'Greemint - he don snuzzle me wif dat huge, wet collie nose an I don bite it. An dis werks for us. We are bof bwack an white, we bof beat up onna catz, an we can snuggle, bud dis Shiba Innu fing - NO WAY!

It's young. It don't wisten. It yaps. It chews rubbish. It don god no manners. It needs to go to Good Dawg School RILLY bad!

An I'm stuck heer inna Bun Room cos Maman sed she can't twust da dawg wif me. I want it oudda heer. I habbin't had enny sweep since it camed heer an dat was wast nite.

Jus afta Maman an Dadda went to bed, Cokie-da-Fat-Cat comed toda Bun Room door an axted - AXTED - to come in! Can you belieb dat? An dat's ebbin wif Missy tearin out mouf-fulls ob cat-fuzz ebbery chance she geds! Bud Cokie sed he'd had enuf alreddy an wanted to sleep wif us where da dawg wassn.

Seems dat KayCee, da widdle kitty, was all uppindaayre cos she hates da dawg, an was in Maman an Dadda's room where Maman an Dadda had tied uppa dawg toda bed so dey could all sleep. Well, KayCee ushually don sleep in dere bed - Cokie does, bud KayCee decided she was goin ta be in dere so she culd Make A Point.

Hebben help us when catz stawt Makin Points. *geez*

Ennyway, dere was Cody onna floor an KayCee was onna bed an Maman an Dadda was inna bed. An I culd hear KayCee growlin. Nebber knew a cat who culd growl for so wong! She jus kept growlin an ebbery now an den, it sounded wike sumbun letta air outta her, wike steam escapin frumma pipe. She was talkin unbeliebable stuff to dat dawg!

Den da dawg, Cody, wuld yap. Den Maman wuld tell da dawg to be quiet. Den dere wuld be more growlin. Den more yappin. Den Dadda god innu it. Denna dawg godda smack, god offended an here comes Maman, carryin KayCee oud innu da hallway. An as soon as Maman pud her down, KayCee was rite back inna bedroom, growlin atta dawg.

Den KayCee climbed up Maman's side obba bed (still growlin) an Maman pikked her up agin an dodged da dawg an sed KayCee down inna hallway again.

Anna dawg yipped.

An Dadda told'da dawg to be quiet.

An den back KayCee went innu da bedroom.

Well, dis went on fora while, an Cokie's heer siddin by da Bun Room door, an waidin for me to wet him in. An Missy's frowin her toys aroun, an struttin, wike, "Yeah, you're comin in heer, Fat-Cat an I'm takin you out." Which sort ob god Mouse fumpin, cos he has no cloo whut's happin, which got Beebe fumpin, cos he's allus up for enny sorta fight cos he's a Wegend In His Own Mind.

So now dere are catz growlin, da dawg yippin, bunnies fumpin an frowin toys an Dadda's stawtin to growl an Maman is carryin catz back an forf toda hallway.

An I'm finkin, "Dis is gonna get good preddy soon."

An, ob course, it did.

KayCee was talkin bad fings, da dawg was unner da bed, an den I guess KayCee reached down an took a swipe atta dawg butt. Now KayCee issa sneaky cat. When Cokie goes to hit sumwun, he hits - big, ol' fat-cat paw wide opin, aboudda size obba soup-pwate comin at'tchoo. Bud KayCee is widdle an she gots widdle paws wif needle-claws an she stuck da dawg inna butt.

Da dawg musta gone aboud three feets inna air anna bed is aboud two foots high, so da udder foot musta hit Dadda inna butt - cos alla sudden, KayCee comed flyin outta dat room, all four paws inna air, screamin wike a rockit an wands, rightside up, inna laundry bin. Den nextest comes Maman, frowin on her bafrobe, an den Cokie pops up from next to our door wike, "Ooops!" an scurries off downnastairs, wif KayCee right on his tail.

Den I see whut da mass exydos is aboud... Dadda inna Bafrobe. An he is angry.

Da dawg is onna string, an da dawg is goin downnastairs, too.

Dawg goes inna kitchin. Door slams.

Catz zoom uppastairs an skatter.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

Feets onna stairs. Hunny (who is good at vibrashuns cos he can't hear a fing) says dat its Maman an Dadda an don mess wiff'em.

Bud Beebe is stoopid an he's gnawin on his habbytat cos he wants ta ged oud an see whut's goin on.

Snap.

On comes da Bun Room wight.

So I'm siddin dere, bwinkin, an Mouse fumps.

An Dadda wooks aroun an goes, "An dat will be enuf outta you buggers, too."

An you kin heer da siwence, fallin wike a widdle, fin curtain, ober da whole houz...

Den da wight snaps oud agin an Maman an Dadda ged back innu da bed, an I heer Dadda say, "I am too old for dis. We shuld stick wif rabbits."

Which is troo.

Day Four'teen / Third Strand - Belinda's Back!
Hunny is doin good dis mornin. So is ebberybunny else. Dere is hay an drinks ob wadder an dere is sunshine an Maman sed datta Wedder Serbice says it's gonna be warm.

So mebbe dis issa time forda "Bim Song"... bud bifore I sing it, I will tell you aboud Bim.

Bim was Maman's Dadda. His real name was "Bill" (well, dere wassa wot more den "Bill" axtchually, bud I don bemember alla it) bud when Sistah Beffy (who is Maman's dautter) was liddle, she couldn't say "Granddaddy" an she couldn't pronounce her "L"'s, so she would go to da stairs ob his study at dinner-time an call oud, "BIM! BIMMY! Dinner's Reddy!". An dat is how da Retired Professor ob Organic Chemistry (who hadda wong name anna title an all) gots to be called, "Bim".

Bim didn unnerstand much aboud rabbits assa gen'ral rool, bud he wiked ebbery annymal. I wiked him. I usta sit on him an snuffle his pockits to see if he hadda candies or ennyfing. He ushually hadda wotta odd stuff wike chalk an wint, an woose change, bud onct I found a stray Tic-Tak an almost ate it, bud Maman taked it away frum me. She sed it wuld make my tummy hurt. I didn't fink so, bud dere you are - anudder case ob discrimmynashun.

Ennyway, Bim usta come ober to our houz a wot. Ushually he was 'sposed to be goin sumwhere's else, bud he allus stopped off here first bekos Maman allus has fresh coffee. Maman also allus has ciggyrets an Bim wassn 'sposed to hab dem, bud he sed he spent two yeers inna medical school bifore he spent eight yeers in graduate school an dat was bifore he spended a whole dam' War inna Naby an stuff, an ennyway, he was gonna do whut he wanted just so wong as Maman didn't tell nobunny.

He an Maman were a wot awike. Dey were sarcastic an eddykated an wiked to tawk aboud buks an to fortyged aboud whut time it was onna clock. Maman's mawmie wuld call onna phone an wanna know whut Bim was doin wrong dis time an Maman wuld say stuff wike, "I habbint seed him." Maman says it's bein "non-confrontational", bud I fink she was wike her fadder anna 'fraid to hab to admit dat she was dat smawt an dat stoopid all atta same time.

So Bim went toda Rainbow Bridge a couple ob years ago. Maman was berry sad. I fink she still is sad dat he went on an weft her here, jus wike I am sad dat Hawthorn went on an weft me here. Bud we is here, so dat's preddy much dat.

Bud ebbery time dat Spwing FINALLY comes, afta da freak snows an suddin ices are ober, I bemember dat Bim wuld come to da houz an knock onna door - onna day just wike dis wun. Da sun wuld be shinin, an it wuld be warm, an Maman wuld hab just made more coffee inna pot, an den da door wuld opin an in wuld come Bim an he wuld stand inna middle obba dinin-room an he'd sing dis song:

"Sring is sprung.
"The grass is riz.
"I wonder where da birdies is?"

So dat's my song for tidday. Hoppy Spring, Ebberybunny!

Day Firteen / Third Strand - Belinda's Back!
Yeah, I am.

Hunny sed to fank you, Auntie Laura, forda nice commint. He's habbin his furst snak obba day after which he plans to habba nap an den anudder snak.

I hab just discobbered dat sum odder hoomin unnerstood snaks an naps. Forda past coupla nites, I hab bin watchin dis "Lord Obba Rings" trilogy wif Maman an Dadda. Innit dere are "Hobbits". Dey seem to be wike bunnies: dey lib in berry nice warrens, dey hab seberal meals a day, dey wike doin fings Alla Us Togedder, an dey preddy much onwy fight when cornered an den you don wanna mess wif dem.

Maman readed da buks to us a wong time ago, bud hassint readed dem to us since her kidwets god old enuf to read for demselbes. Now she reads to herself, too. Bud I seed da films an it wuz good. I say "it" bekos it's more wike wun big film an not two films strung togedder. Now I godda waid forda fird film to be onna deebeedee, but Maman sed dat dis issa gweatest story to come outta da centchury an dat it is worf waidin for. She an Dadda are still tawkin aboud it - aboudda charackters an aboudda "themes" ob Rezzyrekshun an Fall, an stuff wike dat. It innerests dem an keeps dem bizzy when dey aren't pettin us or gibbin oud tweats - which *shuld* be dere main innerest in life, bud libbin wif hoominz wike dees two mean you godda habba wotta "philosophy" frown innu da mix.

So dere's a wotta dis "philosophy" stuff goin on at Our Warren rite now. Anna wotta "werkin" at pwaces udder den heer. Nod a wotta "housekeepin" goin on, Maman sed, which is troo cos dere is sum hay in heer dat culd use sweepin oud. Hunny is geddin a wotta medycine anna wotta 'tenshun frum Maman, AND he's geddin alla tweats furst. Mouse is still *fumpin* alla time, an he issn't gonna be Top Bun cos I am and dat's dat. End ob Stowy. Beebe is still twyin to chew a noo hole in his habbytat to go bisitin, an dat's not goin down well wif Maman. Missy is huntin catz ebbery chance she geds an almost catchin dem. I dunno whut will happin if she geds anudder wun...

So nuffin's goin on heer, rilly, 'cept Maman sed dat Fader Dirk axt me to come to St. Luke's an obersee da Easter Egg Hunt. Hawthorn did it wast yeer. I went to St. Luke's oncet dis yeer an dere are good tweats on offer, so I fink I will go again. Maman sed I hab to ride inna baskit an wear a harness.

Yeah. We'll see.

Wast time, I didn ged to go alla pwaces in St Luke's Church dat I wanted to go. For hextample, I didn' ged to go wook atta "organ" an I didn ged to wook inna "choir" an I didn ged to go wook atta fing where Fader Dirk geds to stand an tawk. I wanna go to dees pwaces. I don fink enny udder bunnies hab bin dere an I fink I shuld be Furst, bein Top Bun an alla dat. Sumbun hasta do it an it mite as well be me. Can't fink why Hawthorn didn chin da pwace bedder da furst times he wuz dere, bud he didn, so I hab to. Hunny didn chin it nidder. You can't leeb guys to do ennyfing.

An den dere issa Parish Hall where dere are alla da tweats. Wots obb'em. Cookies, cakes, crumbs, ebberyfing. An dere are hoomins an widdle hoomins who will bwing you stuff when Maman issn't wookin.

Yeah. I godda keep alla dis in mind. I fink I will go an see if I kin ne-goat-she-ate aboudda harness fing. Anna hextplorin fing. Anna chinnin issue. Dere issa wotta werk to be done at dat Church an dere are onwy wun ob me to do it.

So heer we are. I fink Hunny anna Hobbit-peebles has it rite aboudda snaks - dere shuld be more obb'em inna day. Dere is hay. An den dere is more hay. Life is nod alla'boud tweats, Hunny says, an I guess he's rite.

Just don tell him I sed he's rite. Odderwise dere will be no libbin wif dat rabbit.

Day Twelbe / Third Strand - Hunny Blogs
Hullo. Me, Hunny heer.

I am geddin tired of dis habbin to blog ebbery day, so after dis one, I'm gibbin it back to Belinda.

I like habbin my nap-time inna mornings when she is busy bloggin, cos she isn't yakkin uppa storm while she's typin.

So heer are some werds of Rabbit Wisdom to leave with you:

Hab snaks often. They make the day more innerestin.

Binky every chance you get. Happiness should be sellybrated.

When the goin gets tough, the tough take a nap. No sense in staying awake while ebberyfing goes pear-shaped. If it's gonna go dat way anyhow, you might as well awake refreshed when the pooties hit the fan at the bottom obba hole.

Check your butt often. It's good to know how the other half is getting on.

Allus Hope. The bad fings inna werld can't feed offa Hope, so mebbe dey will starbe and go away.

Take the medycine. Otherwise Maman will chase you down and gib it to you ennyways. Take the baf. Otherwise Poet will chase you down and gib it to you ennyways. Take the advice. Otherwise Belinda will chase you down and gib it to you ennyways. Notice dey are are alla dem, wimmin. Dere issa lesson heer.

If there is no nanner one nite, you'll lib until da next. Don't ged hung up onnit.

Hab Faith. We aren't OnAlone. We are Alla Us Togedder. We might not allus get on Alla Us Togedder Alla Time, but when the pooties really hit the fan, we're Togedder.

Take each day assit comes. Be fankful forit no matter whut it brings. After all, it might not hab come at all. And, sumtimes, it just needs to rain.

Speaking of rain - if you get wet, you'll dry. If you're left, somebun will come. If you love, sumbun will love you back.

Dis werld issn't all dat dere is. Dere issa'nudder. Don't forget that. After all, if dere is Nothing Else, then there would be no point in This.

Rabbits know more den you. Look us in the eye and you will see that we know a great menny fings you don't know. Realise dat we are Right and let it go at that. You don't need to know ebberyting dere is, just accept dat you kin know only whut you need.

Do not be afraid. You are not OnAlone. Alla Us Togedder are One Big Warren, each ob us spcial in our own way. No madder how small you are, or how powerless you feel, or how young or how old, you matter to Da Warren.

Now go habba snak. Dere is hay. Dere are pellets. I kin hab my nap if I want. I kin leave pooties where I want cos I'm, me, Hunny. And I am twelbe yeers old, libbin on borrowed time an lubbin it.

Shaddup, Belinda! Poet, ged off my ears! Whoa! Dat's my tail? Where has it been all week-end? Now if I can just gedda good look attit... bugger... just when I finally ged sittin up, it dissypears again...

Day Elebben / Third Strand - Hunny Blogs!
Hab some hay. Sit down. It's all cwoudy out and it's going to snow again, so there's no use is getting all excited about stuff. Just 'cept it: if it snows, you're gonna be late fer werk. Don't bodder rushing around, cos it won't help. You're still gonna be late.

See, dat issa natchur ob fings: it snows - you are late. It rains - you are gonna ged wet.

I know it's not pweasant, bud its a fackt. No use twying to squirm outta it, it's gonna happen an it's gonna happen to you. No sense in geddin grumpy aboud it, eidder, cos dere is nuffin you can do to make it NOT happen. Rain falls ebberywhere, on ebbery field, on ebbery head, equally.

At weast habba snak, an you'll feel bedder. Den you kin smile a widdle an nod be such a grumpy-puss.

We godda cat heer an ebbery mornin, all he does is compwain. He geds up wif Dadda an says dat his food bowl is empty. Den he'll say dat his wadder bowl is empty. Den he wants his winder blind opened. Den he wants alla stuff onna chest-on-chest moobed so he can lie dere an make growly noises atta squirrls. Den he yeowls cos he wants a fuss, an alla time, he's under Dadda's feets, geddin trod on.

Now if dis cat wuld only learn - Dadda will fill da food bowl. Maman will gib him wadder. Da winder blind will go up an dere will be room forda cat onna chest-on-chest wike dere allus is. Da cat will gedda fuss cos we all do.

Just 'cept stuff an smile a widdle. Shake offa wadder ob life a ged on wiffit.

Alla dat noise for nothing, cos nothing dif'frunt is gonna happen an he's not gonna be left out if he doesn't make a fuss.

So sit down. Hab some hay. Dere is plenty. Whutebber you gotta do will still be dere when you finish your snak. And if you ged wet - shake - you'll dry.

Day Ten / Third Strand - Hunny Blogs!
Hullo agin. It's me, Hunny.

Sorry dat I hab been off-line for a few days, bud I was going to da V-E-Ts. You have to unnerstand dat dis issa major operatshun around heer. Dadda took off frum werk. Maman an Dadda gotted up when it was still Dark. Bof ob dem taked showers. Maman lefted notes forda Lad an sum munny. Maman gotted a hospiddle baskit reddy for me wif a blankie, Craisins, carrots in bags, anna nanner. Extra blankies went into da carriers. Poet an I bof gotta mouf-ful ob meddycin to help keep us calm inna car.

An DEN we finally set off.

I went to see dat Dr Doolan guy dat's sposed to be so grate. Belinda raves aboud him. He's godda pony-tail anna earring. He has bloo eyes wike Hawthorn had an he smile a wot. He called me "Darling" which I didn wike so much, cos after all, I am an elderly gentlebun as my Auntie Patrica an Iby pointed out. I deserb to be treated wif diggity an not hab my pribate pawts wooked at. At my age, dere are sum fings dat are, well, pribate. Wike my butt.

But dis V-E-T had bunnies on his tie an he smelled okay. Berry efficient. He knows bunnies. Not a nose-rubber. He taked stoopid x-rays again, an wet me sit wif Poet, which shows you dat he has bunny-sense - a rare commodity.

An I guess dis is why Maman an Dadda taked me to see him. Dr Sharin fusses me a lot an tells me I'm beautiful, an she finks I'm a berry speshul bunny, bud dis guy is dif'frunt. I like dem both. Dey both help me an dis is good.

I didn't gedda zipper wike Belinda, but I didn't need one.

But Maman got so werked up ober ebberyfing dat she gotta bad migraine yesterday when it was all ober. She spent da day goin between da bafroom anna bedroom, bein sick an lying down. Whut if her hed blows up? I werry aboud stuff wike dat. Who will take care ob us? Dadda is at werk all day until nite. Who would we talk to? Who would come in to check on us?

Da fing is, we can count on Maman an Dadda. Dey are allus heer. We wait for dem. Ebben inna dark, we wait for dem cos we know dey will come for us. Maman is stoopid a wot, but she will allus come. Dadda allus comes, ebben when Mouse an Beebe bites him. It doesn't madder what, dey come.

Bud I have known udder hoomins who don't come.

Wait inna dark anna cold an nobun comes.

Nebber forget to tell peebles dat if dey habba bunny, dey must come. Tell ebberybun you meet. Tell ebberybun even if they think you are crazy. An keep telling them:

Nobunny OnAlone. Not ebber.

Day Nine / Third Strand - Hunny Blogs!
Hullo. Me, Hunny back again.

I would like to fank Auntie Patricia for the comment. It is my furst one and I am proud to hab one. I know Belinda gets them, but she hassa bigger mouth than I do.

Ennyway, I am berry happy to hab a commint ob my own, esecially a nice one (which, come to fink ob it, issa only kind dat Auntie Patricia makes, but dat is okay wif me!)that I can link to my own liddle series ob blogs.

I would also like to thank Belinda for lettin me post to her blog and be a guest glogger (even though she drives me nutz.).

Hab a snak while you read dis. No sense in not habbin a snak when you hab the time. It doesn't hab to be a big one or a sweet one; you don't need Craisins alla time. Just a liddle sumfing to "fill uppa corners" assa great writer once writed. I prefer hay. Want sum? Be my guest. Dere is plenty. Maman is good about allus habbin hay heer.

One thing: Spain. I dunno where it is. I fink it is ober near where Maman and Dadda libbed bifore heer. As Belinda an Missy sed wast nite, it don madder where it is, because when bad things happen, they are just BAD, no madder where they go on.

As I sed bifore, I am twelbe yeers old. I am berry old fora bunny and I can tell you this: there is no point in killin. No point in takin whut does not belong to you. If it issn't yours - you kin only care FOR it an ABOUD it, you can't TAKE it. Dis includes life.

You can't gib life; you can't take it away frum sumbun else.

You don't like whut sumbun is doin, den nip dem inna butt. It hurts, but it won't kill them.

These peeble who putta bomb onna twains are no good. They hab no god. Dey fink dey do, but they bedder take a good look atta god they say they are followin, cos he don wook like enny real god. In fact, he wooks a wot wike a god dat will just fade away into nothing if nobunny pay him attenshun. The real God stays around just cos He is who He is. He don *need* followers who go around killin in His Name. He is powerful enuf to do His own killin in His Own Name if He wanted to. Da thing is, He doesn't want to enny killin.

And this outta be a cloo.

Like Belinda sed, hoomins seem drawed to Evil, but only, I notice, if it has no Face and no Name. If hoomins ever saw Evil's face or heard the real name, they would run for their burrows. But hoomins don't know, they only think they know.

It's like what hoomins think aboud rabbits. Hoomins don't fink about rabbits much until dey meet one. Wike me. Den suddenly, rabbits hab a face anna name. Dey are "Hunny". Dey are "old an honourable gentlemen ob dere tribe". Suddenly, rabbits go frum being rabbits to bein part obba "tribe" ob dere own.

We habba face. We are us. We hab diggity. We habba name and we hab honour.

Hoomins need names in order to care. Names hab power. You tell your name to your friend. Inna Warren, da furst thing we do is tell our name. We are nebber "da noo rabbit" or ennything like that. We hab names. Each one ob us is special wif his or her own name.

So mebbe when you go out today, tell sumbun your name. Say, "Hi. I am ______. Whut's your name?"

Cos it is hard to kill sumbun whose name you know.

Hullo. I'm me... Hunny. Whut's your name?

Day Eight / Third Strand - Hunny Blogs
I would wike to fank Belinda for dis chance to add my voice to dose ob Lagomorphins ebberywhere, espeshually to alla da Senior Buns who are witnessin dis teknowogikal rebbolooshun dat is gibbin us a voice obber da WerldWideWeb forda berry furst time.

Dere. I fink dat makes sense. Belinda sed I had to make sense an sound wike a Respekted Elder Bun. She sed I'm to be a "Hextample to Youngbuns Ebberywhere". She says a wot, dat gurlbun. Between her an Poet I gots good adbice frum heer to next week an beyond.

Goodfing I gabe up Top Bunnin, cos it would take a whole wotta werk to convince eidder oneob dem who issa Boss inna Warren, dat's for shoor.

Hullo. It's me, Hunny, heer. I amma twelbe year-old Senior Bun in Our Warren. I amma mini-Lop.

Bifore you ged confoozled, da "mini" in "mini-Lop" only refers to our ears, not to us as rabbits. We are not small. I am as big as Belinda who is an Inwish Snot...errr...Spot (uh oh... kin I erase dat? Buggerit. I don care. Mebbe she won't see it. Bugger. She will see it. Nebbermind, I'll pwetend I can't heer her. Dat werks.) I weigh sebben pounds (gib or take), an I hab hangy-down ears. As a gen'ral rool, mini-Lop ears are not as wong as Inkwish Lop ears, or French Lop ears, which is why we are referred to as "miniLops". God it now? Good.

I am also a troo multi-colour, in that I hab patches ob pure white fur an patches ob brown mixt wif bwack an white, bud mostwy brown. I habba spot ob toasty brown on my nose. Assa gen'ral rool, I hab a broad face an large brown eyes. I am considered somewhat handsum.

Fora wong time, I was bonded to Maggie, a Standard Sexy-Rexy bunny gurl ob generous proporshuns. She was belbit brown - wif attytude. Da onwy gurl da ebber pikted a fight wif Belinda - an won (aldoh Belinda hassa swighty dif'frunt mem'ry ob dis okayshun). I don remember da inseydence too clearly cos it nebber pays to remember stuff too well when you hab to lib wif her dat wost...

Oh bugger. Oh well, I don care. At my age, dat's nod important. Whut's important is dat I lub Maman, I ged treats an I ged ebberyting furst.

Oh, an dat Belinda shut up.

It is also important dat Poet gibs me bafs. I am currently bonded to Poet who is one big brown an white Dutchy gurl. She has uppy ears an da most lubbly markins. She wuz owner-surrendered by nice peeble dat didn't know how to care for her - bud at weast dey knew enuf to bwing her heer an nod to wet her go or sell her to bad peeble. So her former peeble were kind-hearted, jus not rabbit peeble.

Dere are a wotta peebles who nebber shuld hab rabbits bekos dey don unnerstand dem. We are not supposed to be in cages. We are not supposed to be poked at. We are not jus to "habe".

We are us, libbin in your werld. We are twyin to adapt to your werld. You an us togedder - alla us togedder - One Big Warren.

Dat's enuf for one day. I wanna go gedda snak. You wanna hab one too? Good. Wet's go eat. Whut'chu got? I gotta timmy hay. You kin hab sum. Dere is wots... See, you pik outta good strand, den you jus kind ob reel it in... yeah, wike dat spisgetti stuff... but you godda chew it good or you'll hab wind... an den Poet will wanna gib you a clean... it don madder, ebben if you're sittin on your butt, she'll get you... no, no, sadwy, a bun's butt is no wonger his own...

Day Sebben / Third Strand
I'm gonna be wettin Hunny blog when he wants to now. I kin see dat I bin hoggin dis whole noo teknowogy an dat is not rite. I hab to share, an Hunny issa Senior Bun wif yeers ob hextperience an stuff an his biews are impawtant. So he an I tawked id ober wast nite an I agreed dat frumma point ob view ob Alla Us Togedder, id wuld be a good idea if I god offa dis soap-box wuncet inna while an wet sumbun else habba cwack attit.

Ob kourse, he didn pud it dat way. Hunny sed, "Issn id aboud time you gab your butta'rest?" Bud dat's Hunny.

Oh, bifore I wet him type, I wanned to say dis: inna "Guardian" noospaper dat I reeded wif Maman, da Harchbishop ob Canterbury, Rowan Williams (who I hab nebber met, bud I fink he shuld know 'bout bunnies inna Church ennyway) has typed aboud'da buk dat I blogged aboud (an panned) cawled, "His Dark Materials".

If you bemember, I sed datta author had sed dat his buks was bedder den dat C. S. Lewis' guy's "Narnia" buks, bekos da "His Dark Materials" buks gab a more 'reelistic' biew ob God. An I sed dat datta "His Dark Materials" guy couldn't say dat, cos he wasn' makin a fair comparyson based onna ebbydence probided. It's rilly sumfing whenna bunny pans your buks.

Ennyway, Rowan Williams sed datta "His Dark Materials" issa impawtant buks cossa dis: dey raise da qwestshun aboud whut kinda "god" are we tawkin aboud heer? An as it turns out, da Harchbishop is rite - "His Dark Materials" issn tawkin aboudda same God dat is inna "Narnia" buks at all. It's wike I sed - dere is no comparyson. Bud he sed datta "His Dark Materials" buks is good in dere own way, cos dey make peebles fink aboud whut dey belieb.

Da buks inna "Narnia" set ob buks tawk abouda God dat can't be killed, dat don need hoomins or depend on hoomins or ennybunny for His xsistence. He jus *is*. Inna "His Dark Materials" fikshun, da "Authority" datta pwetend "Church" tawks aboud is sumfing dat needs to be 'pwotekted' by da hoomins. Well, it's appuls an oranges, issn it?

Da Harchbishop guy is rite. Nobun needs to ged hextcited aboud "His Dark Materials" or to 'tach too much impawtance to a minor werk ob fikshun. It will be ober time dat will tell if dey are "great werks", wike da "Narnia" buks, dat hab touched a wotta peeble, or if dey are jus more buks dat hab bin pubwished. Nobun can go aroun sayin yet if dey is "gweat" or not. So far, dey jus is out dere, onna shelbs.

An dey mite be good buks. Maman didn wike dem. She didn' fink datta characterizashuns wuz all dat wemawkable, or datta concepts wuz well reelwized. She found berry widdle troo empafy wiffa sterile natchur obba emotions - bud dat wuz her an so she tossed dem oud an sed dey wuld gib me a tummyach if I digested dem. She also sedda author hadda delooshuns if he fought fura sekond dat his immaggynashun or philwosofikal dissplyn ebben approached dat ob Professor Lewis, an dat he wuz arguin frumma false premises (more ob her akademik tawk) an fuddermore, she kin proob it by cwassikal forensik argwoomint. Maman is stwange when she's akkydemik.

Bud I kinda wike dis Harchbishop ob Canterbury. He's godda bwain an he uses it.

Ennyway, heer's Hunny.

******* Hullo. Me, Hunny heer.

Belinda has taken up most obba space. Am I surprised by this? Nod really. It takes all kinds ob bunnies to make a werld. Keep dat in mind. A Thot Forda Day... an one ob dem per day is enuf, I've found...

Ummm... Poet? Yes... I'm coming... now where did I leeb dat hay?......

Day Six / Third Strand
Da wedder outside is confoozling. All wast week it felt wike Spring wuz Sprung: da air wuz soft an it wuz warm. I wooked outta da winder an fought I shuld be seein buds onna twees oud dere, budda twees musta known sumfing I didn cos all I was seein wuz sticks against da sky.

An now it's snowin agin.

Oh well, dees fings happin.

Hunny is gonna hab to go toda V-E-Ts. Maman an Dadda gabe him a butt-baf wast nite an den Maman cuddled him onna settee wif Dadda. Dey found a "growf" just by his eer an dey is konserned. Wast nite, Maman wuz cryin inna hallway outside ob our Bun Room an tellin me dat I had to watch an call her if ennyfing went wrong. Maman don cry loud or nuffin. Jus wadder fallin oudda her eyes, bud I know dere is sumfing fallin oudda inside ob her. I kin feel id.

You see, bifore me, bifore Dadda, way back, dere wuz just Maman, da Lad an Hunny an Heatherington an dey didn hab munny. I don unnerstand a wot ob whut happined cos Hunny don unnerstand wot happined. He herd sum werds, wike "diborce" an "waryers" an dere were sun berry crool hoominz, which is nod unushual becos hoominz can berry oftin be crool on purpose an inna off-hand kinda way. Bud frum whut I unnerstand frum Hunny, a wotta dis hoomin croolty was direkted against Maman on purpose.

So da houz where she anna Lad anna Hunny an Hetherington wuz libbin wuz sold, an she nebber knew for how much an she god no munnies frum it or nuffin. An she hadda pud Hunny an Heather inna pet store on "boarding". It wuz far away. She culdn't come to see dem alla time. Dey hadda stay in cages. She hadda werk to pay da store munny to feed dem an take care ob dem.

Hunny sed he an Heather wuz afraid a wot. Dey didn know where Maman wuz an dey didn know where da Lad wuz. Dey were awone inna store at nite. Maman comed ebbery sebben days an held dem an cried. Dey didn' know whut to do. Dey weren't bonded, bud dey didn' wanna be apart, eidder, an dey felt almost onna OnAlone.

Den sumhow, Maman anna Lad godda anudder houz. Hunny sed it wuzza houz dat dey had had bifore or sumfing, bud he didn know 'zactwy. Bud Maman anna Lad came an taked him an Heather dere an dey wuz safe agin.

Bud Maman won fortyged aboud habbin to put Hunny an Heather almost OnAlone. She is still upsed atta hoominz who hurt her an made fings so hard, bud more den dat, she is still allus afraid. She drips fear.

She wuz just up heer. She issa 'fraid da Black Rabbit will come for Hunny an she will not come in time or nod be able to hold him back. Mouse is fumping. Alla us are onna'lert. Hunny is habbin trubble wif his frunt paws holdin him up, bud he's eatin, an Poet is moobin hay to him.

Maman's eyes are drippin. Da Lad wuz in heer wast nite wif us. You kin almost see da fear in Maman.

Hunny is twelbe, Maman. Dis is pawt obba cirkul, when we know bedder den you. You can't hold back da nite.