The Hay Diaries
21 Dec, 15 > 27 Dec, 15
14 Dec, 15 > 20 Dec, 15
7 Dec, 15 > 13 Dec, 15
17 Sep, 12 > 23 Sep, 12
10 Sep, 12 > 16 Sep, 12
14 Jun, 10 > 20 Jun, 10
7 Jun, 10 > 13 Jun, 10
31 May, 10 > 6 Jun, 10
22 Mar, 10 > 28 Mar, 10
1 Feb, 10 > 7 Feb, 10
25 Jan, 10 > 31 Jan, 10
18 Jan, 10 > 24 Jan, 10
11 Jan, 10 > 17 Jan, 10
1 Jun, 09 > 7 Jun, 09
25 May, 09 > 31 May, 09
11 May, 09 > 17 May, 09
20 Apr, 09 > 26 Apr, 09
13 Apr, 09 > 19 Apr, 09
6 Apr, 09 > 12 Apr, 09
30 Mar, 09 > 5 Apr, 09
23 Mar, 09 > 29 Mar, 09
16 Mar, 09 > 22 Mar, 09
9 Mar, 09 > 15 Mar, 09
5 Jan, 09 > 11 Jan, 09
29 Dec, 08 > 4 Jan, 09
1 Dec, 08 > 7 Dec, 08
7 Jul, 08 > 13 Jul, 08
23 Jun, 08 > 29 Jun, 08
16 Jun, 08 > 22 Jun, 08
26 May, 08 > 1 Jun, 08
12 May, 08 > 18 May, 08
5 May, 08 > 11 May, 08
31 Mar, 08 > 6 Apr, 08
24 Mar, 08 > 30 Mar, 08
17 Mar, 08 > 23 Mar, 08
10 Mar, 08 > 16 Mar, 08
3 Mar, 08 > 9 Mar, 08
25 Feb, 08 > 2 Mar, 08
18 Feb, 08 > 24 Feb, 08
11 Feb, 08 > 17 Feb, 08
4 Feb, 08 > 10 Feb, 08
28 Jan, 08 > 3 Feb, 08
21 Jan, 08 > 27 Jan, 08
14 Jan, 08 > 20 Jan, 08
17 Dec, 07 > 23 Dec, 07
19 Nov, 07 > 25 Nov, 07
5 Nov, 07 > 11 Nov, 07
29 Oct, 07 > 4 Nov, 07
22 Oct, 07 > 28 Oct, 07
8 Oct, 07 > 14 Oct, 07
1 Oct, 07 > 7 Oct, 07
27 Aug, 07 > 2 Sep, 07
20 Aug, 07 > 26 Aug, 07
13 Aug, 07 > 19 Aug, 07
6 Aug, 07 > 12 Aug, 07
30 Jul, 07 > 5 Aug, 07
23 Jul, 07 > 29 Jul, 07
16 Jul, 07 > 22 Jul, 07
18 Jun, 07 > 24 Jun, 07
11 Jun, 07 > 17 Jun, 07
4 Jun, 07 > 10 Jun, 07
28 May, 07 > 3 Jun, 07
21 May, 07 > 27 May, 07
14 May, 07 > 20 May, 07
30 Apr, 07 > 6 May, 07
23 Apr, 07 > 29 Apr, 07
16 Apr, 07 > 22 Apr, 07
2 Apr, 07 > 8 Apr, 07
26 Mar, 07 > 1 Apr, 07
19 Mar, 07 > 25 Mar, 07
12 Mar, 07 > 18 Mar, 07
5 Mar, 07 > 11 Mar, 07
26 Feb, 07 > 4 Mar, 07
19 Feb, 07 > 25 Feb, 07
12 Feb, 07 > 18 Feb, 07
22 Jan, 07 > 28 Jan, 07
15 Jan, 07 > 21 Jan, 07
1 Jan, 07 > 7 Jan, 07
25 Dec, 06 > 31 Dec, 06
18 Dec, 06 > 24 Dec, 06
11 Dec, 06 > 17 Dec, 06
4 Dec, 06 > 10 Dec, 06
27 Nov, 06 > 3 Dec, 06
20 Nov, 06 > 26 Nov, 06
30 Oct, 06 > 5 Nov, 06
2 Oct, 06 > 8 Oct, 06
18 Sep, 06 > 24 Sep, 06
11 Sep, 06 > 17 Sep, 06
28 Aug, 06 > 3 Sep, 06
21 Aug, 06 > 27 Aug, 06
14 Aug, 06 > 20 Aug, 06
7 Aug, 06 > 13 Aug, 06
17 Jul, 06 > 23 Jul, 06
10 Jul, 06 > 16 Jul, 06
3 Jul, 06 > 9 Jul, 06
26 Jun, 06 > 2 Jul, 06
19 Jun, 06 > 25 Jun, 06
12 Jun, 06 > 18 Jun, 06
5 Jun, 06 > 11 Jun, 06
29 May, 06 > 4 Jun, 06
22 May, 06 > 28 May, 06
15 May, 06 > 21 May, 06
8 May, 06 > 14 May, 06
1 May, 06 > 7 May, 06
24 Apr, 06 > 30 Apr, 06
17 Apr, 06 > 23 Apr, 06
6 Mar, 06 > 12 Mar, 06
27 Feb, 06 > 5 Mar, 06
13 Feb, 06 > 19 Feb, 06
6 Feb, 06 > 12 Feb, 06
30 Jan, 06 > 5 Feb, 06
9 Jan, 06 > 15 Jan, 06
2 Jan, 06 > 8 Jan, 06
19 Dec, 05 > 25 Dec, 05
12 Dec, 05 > 18 Dec, 05
5 Dec, 05 > 11 Dec, 05
28 Nov, 05 > 4 Dec, 05
21 Nov, 05 > 27 Nov, 05
14 Nov, 05 > 20 Nov, 05
31 Oct, 05 > 6 Nov, 05
24 Oct, 05 > 30 Oct, 05
17 Oct, 05 > 23 Oct, 05
10 Oct, 05 > 16 Oct, 05
3 Oct, 05 > 9 Oct, 05
27 Jun, 05 > 3 Jul, 05
20 Jun, 05 > 26 Jun, 05
6 Jun, 05 > 12 Jun, 05
23 May, 05 > 29 May, 05
16 May, 05 > 22 May, 05
11 Apr, 05 > 17 Apr, 05
4 Apr, 05 > 10 Apr, 05
28 Mar, 05 > 3 Apr, 05
21 Mar, 05 > 27 Mar, 05
21 Feb, 05 > 27 Feb, 05
7 Feb, 05 > 13 Feb, 05
31 Jan, 05 > 6 Feb, 05
24 Jan, 05 > 30 Jan, 05
17 Jan, 05 > 23 Jan, 05
10 Jan, 05 > 16 Jan, 05
6 Dec, 04 > 12 Dec, 04
29 Nov, 04 > 5 Dec, 04
22 Nov, 04 > 28 Nov, 04
15 Nov, 04 > 21 Nov, 04
11 Oct, 04 > 17 Oct, 04
27 Sep, 04 > 3 Oct, 04
13 Sep, 04 > 19 Sep, 04
30 Aug, 04 > 5 Sep, 04
23 Aug, 04 > 29 Aug, 04
16 Aug, 04 > 22 Aug, 04
9 Aug, 04 > 15 Aug, 04
2 Aug, 04 > 8 Aug, 04
26 Jul, 04 > 1 Aug, 04
19 Jul, 04 > 25 Jul, 04
5 Jul, 04 > 11 Jul, 04
28 Jun, 04 > 4 Jul, 04
21 Jun, 04 > 27 Jun, 04
14 Jun, 04 > 20 Jun, 04
7 Jun, 04 > 13 Jun, 04
31 May, 04 > 6 Jun, 04
24 May, 04 > 30 May, 04
17 May, 04 > 23 May, 04
10 May, 04 > 16 May, 04
26 Apr, 04 > 2 May, 04
19 Apr, 04 > 25 Apr, 04
12 Apr, 04 > 18 Apr, 04
29 Mar, 04 > 4 Apr, 04
22 Mar, 04 > 28 Mar, 04
15 Mar, 04 > 21 Mar, 04
8 Mar, 04 > 14 Mar, 04
1 Mar, 04 > 7 Mar, 04
23 Feb, 04 > 29 Feb, 04
16 Feb, 04 > 22 Feb, 04
9 Feb, 04 > 15 Feb, 04
2 Feb, 04 > 8 Feb, 04
26 Jan, 04 > 1 Feb, 04
19 Jan, 04 > 25 Jan, 04
12 Jan, 04 > 18 Jan, 04
5 Jan, 04 > 11 Jan, 04
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Thursday, 18 March 2004
Day Elebben / Third Strand - Hunny Blogs!
Hab some hay. Sit down. It's all cwoudy out and it's going to snow again, so there's no use is getting all excited about stuff. Just 'cept it: if it snows, you're gonna be late fer werk. Don't bodder rushing around, cos it won't help. You're still gonna be late.

See, dat issa natchur ob fings: it snows - you are late. It rains - you are gonna ged wet.

I know it's not pweasant, bud its a fackt. No use twying to squirm outta it, it's gonna happen an it's gonna happen to you. No sense in geddin grumpy aboud it, eidder, cos dere is nuffin you can do to make it NOT happen. Rain falls ebberywhere, on ebbery field, on ebbery head, equally.

At weast habba snak, an you'll feel bedder. Den you kin smile a widdle an nod be such a grumpy-puss.

We godda cat heer an ebbery mornin, all he does is compwain. He geds up wif Dadda an says dat his food bowl is empty. Den he'll say dat his wadder bowl is empty. Den he wants his winder blind opened. Den he wants alla stuff onna chest-on-chest moobed so he can lie dere an make growly noises atta squirrls. Den he yeowls cos he wants a fuss, an alla time, he's under Dadda's feets, geddin trod on.

Now if dis cat wuld only learn - Dadda will fill da food bowl. Maman will gib him wadder. Da winder blind will go up an dere will be room forda cat onna chest-on-chest wike dere allus is. Da cat will gedda fuss cos we all do.

Just 'cept stuff an smile a widdle. Shake offa wadder ob life a ged on wiffit.

Alla dat noise for nothing, cos nothing dif'frunt is gonna happen an he's not gonna be left out if he doesn't make a fuss.

So sit down. Hab some hay. Dere is plenty. Whutebber you gotta do will still be dere when you finish your snak. And if you ged wet - shake - you'll dry.

Posted by Our Warren at 7:59 AM EST
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Wednesday, 17 March 2004
Day Ten / Third Strand - Hunny Blogs!
Hullo agin. It's me, Hunny.

Sorry dat I hab been off-line for a few days, bud I was going to da V-E-Ts. You have to unnerstand dat dis issa major operatshun around heer. Dadda took off frum werk. Maman an Dadda gotted up when it was still Dark. Bof ob dem taked showers. Maman lefted notes forda Lad an sum munny. Maman gotted a hospiddle baskit reddy for me wif a blankie, Craisins, carrots in bags, anna nanner. Extra blankies went into da carriers. Poet an I bof gotta mouf-ful ob meddycin to help keep us calm inna car.

An DEN we finally set off.

I went to see dat Dr Doolan guy dat's sposed to be so grate. Belinda raves aboud him. He's godda pony-tail anna earring. He has bloo eyes wike Hawthorn had an he smile a wot. He called me "Darling" which I didn wike so much, cos after all, I am an elderly gentlebun as my Auntie Patrica an Iby pointed out. I deserb to be treated wif diggity an not hab my pribate pawts wooked at. At my age, dere are sum fings dat are, well, pribate. Wike my butt.

But dis V-E-T had bunnies on his tie an he smelled okay. Berry efficient. He knows bunnies. Not a nose-rubber. He taked stoopid x-rays again, an wet me sit wif Poet, which shows you dat he has bunny-sense - a rare commodity.

An I guess dis is why Maman an Dadda taked me to see him. Dr Sharin fusses me a lot an tells me I'm beautiful, an she finks I'm a berry speshul bunny, bud dis guy is dif'frunt. I like dem both. Dey both help me an dis is good.

I didn't gedda zipper wike Belinda, but I didn't need one.

But Maman got so werked up ober ebberyfing dat she gotta bad migraine yesterday when it was all ober. She spent da day goin between da bafroom anna bedroom, bein sick an lying down. Whut if her hed blows up? I werry aboud stuff wike dat. Who will take care ob us? Dadda is at werk all day until nite. Who would we talk to? Who would come in to check on us?

Da fing is, we can count on Maman an Dadda. Dey are allus heer. We wait for dem. Ebben inna dark, we wait for dem cos we know dey will come for us. Maman is stoopid a wot, but she will allus come. Dadda allus comes, ebben when Mouse an Beebe bites him. It doesn't madder what, dey come.

Bud I have known udder hoomins who don't come.

Wait inna dark anna cold an nobun comes.

Nebber forget to tell peebles dat if dey habba bunny, dey must come. Tell ebberybun you meet. Tell ebberybun even if they think you are crazy. An keep telling them:

Nobunny OnAlone. Not ebber.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:24 AM EST
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Friday, 12 March 2004
Day Nine / Third Strand - Hunny Blogs!
Hullo. Me, Hunny back again.

I would like to fank Auntie Patricia for the comment. It is my furst one and I am proud to hab one. I know Belinda gets them, but she hassa bigger mouth than I do.

Ennyway, I am berry happy to hab a commint ob my own, esecially a nice one (which, come to fink ob it, issa only kind dat Auntie Patricia makes, but dat is okay wif me!)that I can link to my own liddle series ob blogs.

I would also like to thank Belinda for lettin me post to her blog and be a guest glogger (even though she drives me nutz.).

Hab a snak while you read dis. No sense in not habbin a snak when you hab the time. It doesn't hab to be a big one or a sweet one; you don't need Craisins alla time. Just a liddle sumfing to "fill uppa corners" assa great writer once writed. I prefer hay. Want sum? Be my guest. Dere is plenty. Maman is good about allus habbin hay heer.

One thing: Spain. I dunno where it is. I fink it is ober near where Maman and Dadda libbed bifore heer. As Belinda an Missy sed wast nite, it don madder where it is, because when bad things happen, they are just BAD, no madder where they go on.

As I sed bifore, I am twelbe yeers old. I am berry old fora bunny and I can tell you this: there is no point in killin. No point in takin whut does not belong to you. If it issn't yours - you kin only care FOR it an ABOUD it, you can't TAKE it. Dis includes life.

You can't gib life; you can't take it away frum sumbun else.

You don't like whut sumbun is doin, den nip dem inna butt. It hurts, but it won't kill them.

These peeble who putta bomb onna twains are no good. They hab no god. Dey fink dey do, but they bedder take a good look atta god they say they are followin, cos he don wook like enny real god. In fact, he wooks a wot wike a god dat will just fade away into nothing if nobunny pay him attenshun. The real God stays around just cos He is who He is. He don *need* followers who go around killin in His Name. He is powerful enuf to do His own killin in His Own Name if He wanted to. Da thing is, He doesn't want to enny killin.

And this outta be a cloo.

Like Belinda sed, hoomins seem drawed to Evil, but only, I notice, if it has no Face and no Name. If hoomins ever saw Evil's face or heard the real name, they would run for their burrows. But hoomins don't know, they only think they know.

It's like what hoomins think aboud rabbits. Hoomins don't fink about rabbits much until dey meet one. Wike me. Den suddenly, rabbits hab a face anna name. Dey are "Hunny". Dey are "old an honourable gentlemen ob dere tribe". Suddenly, rabbits go frum being rabbits to bein part obba "tribe" ob dere own.

We habba face. We are us. We hab diggity. We habba name and we hab honour.

Hoomins need names in order to care. Names hab power. You tell your name to your friend. Inna Warren, da furst thing we do is tell our name. We are nebber "da noo rabbit" or ennything like that. We hab names. Each one ob us is special wif his or her own name.

So mebbe when you go out today, tell sumbun your name. Say, "Hi. I am ______. Whut's your name?"

Cos it is hard to kill sumbun whose name you know.

Hullo. I'm me... Hunny. Whut's your name?

Posted by Our Warren at 8:58 AM EST
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Thursday, 11 March 2004
Day Eight / Third Strand - Hunny Blogs
I would wike to fank Belinda for dis chance to add my voice to dose ob Lagomorphins ebberywhere, espeshually to alla da Senior Buns who are witnessin dis teknowogikal rebbolooshun dat is gibbin us a voice obber da WerldWideWeb forda berry furst time.

Dere. I fink dat makes sense. Belinda sed I had to make sense an sound wike a Respekted Elder Bun. She sed I'm to be a "Hextample to Youngbuns Ebberywhere". She says a wot, dat gurlbun. Between her an Poet I gots good adbice frum heer to next week an beyond.

Goodfing I gabe up Top Bunnin, cos it would take a whole wotta werk to convince eidder oneob dem who issa Boss inna Warren, dat's for shoor.

Hullo. It's me, Hunny, heer. I amma twelbe year-old Senior Bun in Our Warren. I amma mini-Lop.

Bifore you ged confoozled, da "mini" in "mini-Lop" only refers to our ears, not to us as rabbits. We are not small. I am as big as Belinda who is an Inwish Snot...errr...Spot (uh oh... kin I erase dat? Buggerit. I don care. Mebbe she won't see it. Bugger. She will see it. Nebbermind, I'll pwetend I can't heer her. Dat werks.) I weigh sebben pounds (gib or take), an I hab hangy-down ears. As a gen'ral rool, mini-Lop ears are not as wong as Inkwish Lop ears, or French Lop ears, which is why we are referred to as "miniLops". God it now? Good.

I am also a troo multi-colour, in that I hab patches ob pure white fur an patches ob brown mixt wif bwack an white, bud mostwy brown. I habba spot ob toasty brown on my nose. Assa gen'ral rool, I hab a broad face an large brown eyes. I am considered somewhat handsum.

Fora wong time, I was bonded to Maggie, a Standard Sexy-Rexy bunny gurl ob generous proporshuns. She was belbit brown - wif attytude. Da onwy gurl da ebber pikted a fight wif Belinda - an won (aldoh Belinda hassa swighty dif'frunt mem'ry ob dis okayshun). I don remember da inseydence too clearly cos it nebber pays to remember stuff too well when you hab to lib wif her dat wost...

Oh bugger. Oh well, I don care. At my age, dat's nod important. Whut's important is dat I lub Maman, I ged treats an I ged ebberyting furst.

Oh, an dat Belinda shut up.

It is also important dat Poet gibs me bafs. I am currently bonded to Poet who is one big brown an white Dutchy gurl. She has uppy ears an da most lubbly markins. She wuz owner-surrendered by nice peeble dat didn't know how to care for her - bud at weast dey knew enuf to bwing her heer an nod to wet her go or sell her to bad peeble. So her former peeble were kind-hearted, jus not rabbit peeble.

Dere are a wotta peebles who nebber shuld hab rabbits bekos dey don unnerstand dem. We are not supposed to be in cages. We are not supposed to be poked at. We are not jus to "habe".

We are us, libbin in your werld. We are twyin to adapt to your werld. You an us togedder - alla us togedder - One Big Warren.

Dat's enuf for one day. I wanna go gedda snak. You wanna hab one too? Good. Wet's go eat. Whut'chu got? I gotta timmy hay. You kin hab sum. Dere is wots... See, you pik outta good strand, den you jus kind ob reel it in... yeah, wike dat spisgetti stuff... but you godda chew it good or you'll hab wind... an den Poet will wanna gib you a clean... it don madder, ebben if you're sittin on your butt, she'll get you... no, no, sadwy, a bun's butt is no wonger his own...

Posted by Our Warren at 9:03 AM EST
Updated: Thursday, 11 March 2004 9:06 AM EST
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Wednesday, 10 March 2004
Day Sebben / Third Strand
I'm gonna be wettin Hunny blog when he wants to now. I kin see dat I bin hoggin dis whole noo teknowogy an dat is not rite. I hab to share, an Hunny issa Senior Bun wif yeers ob hextperience an stuff an his biews are impawtant. So he an I tawked id ober wast nite an I agreed dat frumma point ob view ob Alla Us Togedder, id wuld be a good idea if I god offa dis soap-box wuncet inna while an wet sumbun else habba cwack attit.

Ob kourse, he didn pud it dat way. Hunny sed, "Issn id aboud time you gab your butta'rest?" Bud dat's Hunny.

Oh, bifore I wet him type, I wanned to say dis: inna "Guardian" noospaper dat I reeded wif Maman, da Harchbishop ob Canterbury, Rowan Williams (who I hab nebber met, bud I fink he shuld know 'bout bunnies inna Church ennyway) has typed aboud'da buk dat I blogged aboud (an panned) cawled, "His Dark Materials".

If you bemember, I sed datta author had sed dat his buks was bedder den dat C. S. Lewis' guy's "Narnia" buks, bekos da "His Dark Materials" buks gab a more 'reelistic' biew ob God. An I sed dat datta "His Dark Materials" guy couldn't say dat, cos he wasn' makin a fair comparyson based onna ebbydence probided. It's rilly sumfing whenna bunny pans your buks.

Ennyway, Rowan Williams sed datta "His Dark Materials" issa impawtant buks cossa dis: dey raise da qwestshun aboud whut kinda "god" are we tawkin aboud heer? An as it turns out, da Harchbishop is rite - "His Dark Materials" issn tawkin aboudda same God dat is inna "Narnia" buks at all. It's wike I sed - dere is no comparyson. Bud he sed datta "His Dark Materials" buks is good in dere own way, cos dey make peebles fink aboud whut dey belieb.

Da buks inna "Narnia" set ob buks tawk abouda God dat can't be killed, dat don need hoomins or depend on hoomins or ennybunny for His xsistence. He jus *is*. Inna "His Dark Materials" fikshun, da "Authority" datta pwetend "Church" tawks aboud is sumfing dat needs to be 'pwotekted' by da hoomins. Well, it's appuls an oranges, issn it?

Da Harchbishop guy is rite. Nobun needs to ged hextcited aboud "His Dark Materials" or to 'tach too much impawtance to a minor werk ob fikshun. It will be ober time dat will tell if dey are "great werks", wike da "Narnia" buks, dat hab touched a wotta peeble, or if dey are jus more buks dat hab bin pubwished. Nobun can go aroun sayin yet if dey is "gweat" or not. So far, dey jus is out dere, onna shelbs.

An dey mite be good buks. Maman didn wike dem. She didn' fink datta characterizashuns wuz all dat wemawkable, or datta concepts wuz well reelwized. She found berry widdle troo empafy wiffa sterile natchur obba emotions - bud dat wuz her an so she tossed dem oud an sed dey wuld gib me a tummyach if I digested dem. She also sedda author hadda delooshuns if he fought fura sekond dat his immaggynashun or philwosofikal dissplyn ebben approached dat ob Professor Lewis, an dat he wuz arguin frumma false premises (more ob her akademik tawk) an fuddermore, she kin proob it by cwassikal forensik argwoomint. Maman is stwange when she's akkydemik.

Bud I kinda wike dis Harchbishop ob Canterbury. He's godda bwain an he uses it.

Ennyway, heer's Hunny.

******* Hullo. Me, Hunny heer.

Belinda has taken up most obba space. Am I surprised by this? Nod really. It takes all kinds ob bunnies to make a werld. Keep dat in mind. A Thot Forda Day... an one ob dem per day is enuf, I've found...

Ummm... Poet? Yes... I'm coming... now where did I leeb dat hay?......

Posted by Our Warren at 8:54 AM EST
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Monday, 8 March 2004
Day Six / Third Strand
Da wedder outside is confoozling. All wast week it felt wike Spring wuz Sprung: da air wuz soft an it wuz warm. I wooked outta da winder an fought I shuld be seein buds onna twees oud dere, budda twees musta known sumfing I didn cos all I was seein wuz sticks against da sky.

An now it's snowin agin.

Oh well, dees fings happin.

Hunny is gonna hab to go toda V-E-Ts. Maman an Dadda gabe him a butt-baf wast nite an den Maman cuddled him onna settee wif Dadda. Dey found a "growf" just by his eer an dey is konserned. Wast nite, Maman wuz cryin inna hallway outside ob our Bun Room an tellin me dat I had to watch an call her if ennyfing went wrong. Maman don cry loud or nuffin. Jus wadder fallin oudda her eyes, bud I know dere is sumfing fallin oudda inside ob her. I kin feel id.

You see, bifore me, bifore Dadda, way back, dere wuz just Maman, da Lad an Hunny an Heatherington an dey didn hab munny. I don unnerstand a wot ob whut happined cos Hunny don unnerstand wot happined. He herd sum werds, wike "diborce" an "waryers" an dere were sun berry crool hoominz, which is nod unushual becos hoominz can berry oftin be crool on purpose an inna off-hand kinda way. Bud frum whut I unnerstand frum Hunny, a wotta dis hoomin croolty was direkted against Maman on purpose.

So da houz where she anna Lad anna Hunny an Hetherington wuz libbin wuz sold, an she nebber knew for how much an she god no munnies frum it or nuffin. An she hadda pud Hunny an Heather inna pet store on "boarding". It wuz far away. She culdn't come to see dem alla time. Dey hadda stay in cages. She hadda werk to pay da store munny to feed dem an take care ob dem.

Hunny sed he an Heather wuz afraid a wot. Dey didn know where Maman wuz an dey didn know where da Lad wuz. Dey were awone inna store at nite. Maman comed ebbery sebben days an held dem an cried. Dey didn' know whut to do. Dey weren't bonded, bud dey didn' wanna be apart, eidder, an dey felt almost onna OnAlone.

Den sumhow, Maman anna Lad godda anudder houz. Hunny sed it wuzza houz dat dey had had bifore or sumfing, bud he didn know 'zactwy. Bud Maman anna Lad came an taked him an Heather dere an dey wuz safe agin.

Bud Maman won fortyged aboud habbin to put Hunny an Heather almost OnAlone. She is still upsed atta hoominz who hurt her an made fings so hard, bud more den dat, she is still allus afraid. She drips fear.

She wuz just up heer. She issa 'fraid da Black Rabbit will come for Hunny an she will not come in time or nod be able to hold him back. Mouse is fumping. Alla us are onna'lert. Hunny is habbin trubble wif his frunt paws holdin him up, bud he's eatin, an Poet is moobin hay to him.

Maman's eyes are drippin. Da Lad wuz in heer wast nite wif us. You kin almost see da fear in Maman.

Hunny is twelbe, Maman. Dis is pawt obba cirkul, when we know bedder den you. You can't hold back da nite.




Posted by Our Warren at 7:48 AM EST
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Sunday, 7 March 2004
Day Five / Third Strand
I hadda wet dat wast thought stand for a widdle while, Freckles (Fanks forda commint!). I dunno why, bud I fought it wuz impawtant to wet it be oud inna opin fora day or so, an not cobber it up under a noo entwy rite away.

Sumtimes, fings just seem "rite". I can't hextplain it, bud dere you are.

Hunny hassa stinky bottom an Maman is geddin berry werried cos he's so owd. She an Dadda are gonna gib him anudder butt-baf (I herd dem tawkin agin. Good fing I kin heer stuff bedder den Hunny.) an pudda cweenin stuff dat Dr Doolan gabe to me on him an see if dat will help him. Udderwise, he'll hab to go see Dr Skolkin tomorry an dat will annoy him no end.

Dis mornin Poet gabe him a rilly good wash an dat helped, bud she didn't get his butt and fwankly, I don bwame her. I wouldn't touch Hunny's butt onna bet.

Da fing is, a butt is a pwibate sort ob fing fora bunny. You godda wook afta your own. Hunny's pwobwem is dat he is owd an don bend so good to ged around back dere. So Maman has pwoposed to "help" him.

Now bemember dat Maman's "helpin" wif stuff is ushualwy a mixt bwessin. Dis womin means well enuf, dat's fer shoor, bud when it comes rite down to it, she issa idiot. Her wine ob wogik is onna rail all ob its own, skitterin oud onna edges obba horizon onna good day. Ged her onna bad day an we're tawkin serious malfunkshuns ob reality.

Add to dat she is sewiouswy writin a buk now, so her finkin issn ALL onna same pwanet as da rest ob us is. Sum ob her bwain is still "nobellistik".

In udder werds, we bunnies are more or wess in big trubble unwess Dadda is heer, I fink. Unwess I kin keep her gwounded.

I will be da rock ob reality to which da bubble dat is Maman will be tethered.

Dis issa big order for sumbun who is biewin life frum wun foot offa gwound, bud we bunnies is tough. We hab bin doin dis kinda stuff fora considerable wength ob time. Da onwy rezon dat most hoominz didn know aboud it wuz becuz we habbin had good pubwick rewashuns wike dawgs and catz hab had. We didn hab da communykashuns faktor.

Well, we do now. Bunnies are on web sites. Bunnies are bloggin. Habba wook at da couple ob resources dat I hab wisted here on my site. We are moobin up, eddykatin an raisin conshunsays all ober.

Rabbits - we aren't jus for Easter; we're forebber!

Posted by Our Warren at 12:44 PM EST
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Friday, 5 March 2004
Day Four / Third Strand
Elena Curti typed in dis morning's Guardian "...all human beings are, to a greater or lesser extent, drawn towards evil, and once we succumb it is hard to break free."

I fink dis issa Big Dif'frence between bunnis an hoomins. Mebbe cos we didn't bodder wiffa Tree ob Knowledge inna Garden ob Eden, like God sed, or sumfing, we missed oud on learnin Rite frum Wrong. Or mebbe we jus nat'churally aboided da Snake so we didn make an acquaintance wif Ebil, an don hab no backgwound mem'wy ob him. Bud bunnies hab no 'spirience wif Ebil unwess hoominz bwing it.

Budda fack is, hoominz bwing Ebil wiff dem no madder where dey go.

Id comes when bunnies is killed for fur coats. Ebil comes when bunnies are killed for meet. We aren't efficient food at all. You wuld do bedder puddin energy innu gwoin gwain or beggytabuls.

Id comes when we is buyed as pets an den forgotted aboud or made to lib in filth. Ebil comes when we are abandoned to da wild where we cannot stay alibe.

Ebil is casual biolence an insatiable gweed, destwoyin habbytats where udders lib to build stuff dat don help nobun an pollute da pwanet. Ebil is buildin a huge concwete highway-motorway dat cuts da wand in half, dibidin da countwee-side wike a wall.

Ebil is puddin udder hoominz outta jobs an makin widdle hoominz starbe; id is makin udder hoominz feel usewess an nod pawt obba Warren. Ids fowcin peebles to lib OnAlone, unwanted, in orphanages for owd peebles.

Dere are so menny ebils! Or issit jus Wun Ebil dat has menny faces? Wun Snake an he is constantwy bein sought oud, an gibben noo oppytunities?

Inna beginnin, dere were bunnis, too, so dere must hab been a Warren, an Alla Us Togedder. An mebbe whenna hoominz wuz told to leeb da Garden, da bunnies went wiffa hoominz, to be anna 'zample ob Alla Us Togedder. 'Pawarentwy God wuz pleased, cos He sed, "Don eeta hares.", which wuld be us, cos we is desended frum hares. So mebbe He wuz pleased dat we choosed to go awong assa 'zample ob Alla Us Togedder.

Bud we didn make da Quaintance obba Snake. We didn lern to rekky'nize da face ob ebil - an so we is not drawn toward it.

An mebbe dat is whut you see in us dat you lub: da refleckshun ob whut you mite hab bin.

Posted by Our Warren at 6:52 AM EST
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Thursday, 4 March 2004
Day Free / Third Strand
I guess you figgered oud by now dat onna days Maman don go to werk, she comes an geds me an she an I reeda noos onna 'puter togedder. I sit inn'er wap, an we wook atta pckchurs togedder. I wike da "Daily Telagraph" frum Inkwand cos id hassa best pikchurs. Dis is how I am such a well-informed bunny.

Ennyway, tidday I am wookin atta noos, an dere issa pikchur obba Pwince Harry guy. He is notta bunny wike Pwince Toolip, he issa childer obba Queen ob Inkwand an he gots red fur. Tiday it seems he is bisitin a pwace called "Losotho" where wots ob hoominz habba bad sikness cawled AIDs. Wots ob widdle childer don habba mawmies ora daddas cos dey hab died frum dis diseeze an dis Harry guy is bisitin atta rescue shelter forda childer. Sorta wike where I libbed bifore Maman anna Lad comed to ged me an gib me my forebber home, onwy heer, dere are wots ob childer an dey habba hard time findin enuf to eat. Dey are OnAlone, which is a berry skerry fing.

Maman told me datta pwobwem heer comes down to dat munny fing agin.

Dere is meddysin forda hoominz dat hab da AIDs diseeze, budda peebles dat make da meddysin wanna wotta munny for it. Da peebles inna pwace cawled Losotho don gots enuf munny to pay forda meddysin. So dey aren't geddin it. Anna mawmies anna daddas are leebin forda Rainbow Bridge anna widdle childer are weft all OnAlone bifore dey can take care ob demselbes. Nobunny shuld ebber be OnAlone.

Now, if you went toda V-E-T cos you was sik, anna V-E-T sed, "Wook heer. I gots dis meddysin, bud you gotta decide, eidder you wanna eet or habba meddysin." Whut wuld you say? Or wet's make it worse - "Heers dis meddysin to make you well, bud you kin hab it, onwy your kits can't hab food if you gedda meddysin." Now whut? Pills or die? Eidder way, da childer is weft OnAlone.

Dat is no choice.

Whut I wanna know is dis: howcome dis meddysin is all so much munny? Mebbe, jus mebbe iffa compinys dat maka meddysin stopped gibbin away alla pens an stap'lers an stuff dat dey gib away to hoomin V-E-Ts offices, mebbe dere wuld be munny to gib sum ob dem AIDs pills toda hoominz who is sik in Losotho?

Insted ob spendin wots ob munny adbertizin der pills, whut iffa compinys dat mak da pills jus stopped adbertizin? Cos you don need to adbertize sumfing dat werks. If it rilly werks an is good, wike Craisins, werd geds aroun an peebles will buy dat fing. If it werks rilly well, den a wotta peebles will buy it. If your compiny issa onwy wun makin id, deen a WHOLE WOTTA peebles will buy it. You don need adbertizin, an you don needa gib away a wotta usewess stuff wif you name onnit to bemind peebles to buy it. You kin pudda munny into makin cheaper pills, speshully to gib toda peebles in Losothso.

Maman sed datta gobbermints sumtimes take da munny dat is sposed to go to buyin pills forda sik peebles. Well, dat is wrong. So gib da pills to sumbun else an hab dem take dem toda sik peebles.

Jus stop alla dees widdle childer frum habbin to be OnAlone! Good grief, how hard can dat be? Ged sum ob dose rilly cheap peebles frumma Wal-Mart to go figger id out. Dey is rilly cheap an dey kin figger oud how to ged cheap stuff frum one pwace to anudder. Insted ob rippin off peebles, figger oud how to ged 'spensib pills inhexspensibwy toda peebles who need'em. Sumbun hasta be good at dis. Dis is why dere are all kinds ob peebles inna werld, so dere is at weast wun who kin figger oud how to sabe udders frum bein OnAlone.

Denda childer in dis pwace called Losotho kin hab dere mawmies an daddas back agin.

I wunder howda peebles who own parts obba big compinys dat make dos pills feel when dey go to bed at nite? Do dey ebber fink aboud da childer inna pwace cawled Losotho who are OnAlone?

You know, sumtimes, I wish da Black Rabbit wuld go an sit atta bottom ob dere beds, say to dose peebles, "I wuldn't be half so bizzy if you didn lub munny so much."

Posted by Our Warren at 8:54 AM EST
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Wednesday, 3 March 2004
Day Two / Third Strand
Maman is off to werk to ged munny. I still don see da point ob dis munny fing.

I wooked at munny yestidday. Id was in Maman's pockybook onna fwoor, inner walwet. Id wooked wike paper, bud when I was gonna taste id, she gwabbed it outta my mouf an sed, "Oi! Belinda! NO! Dat's munny!"

So munny hassa kinda greasy feel to it, an is paper. Big deal.

So while she was puddin id away, I wooked more innu da pockybook. Dere were sum hard fings atta bottom. I pushed dem wif my nose an she sed, "Oi! Belinda! NO! Dat's munny!" Bud dey smelled funny to me, so I didn't twy to eet dem.

Dere was also a buk ob pages inner pockybook wiffa pwastick cobber dat I was gonna pik up, bud Maman taked da pockybook away frum me an sed dat bunnies shuldn't be 'lowwed near pockybooks cossa alla munny.

"Don you know I god my wife in dere?"

Well, no, I didn. I fought wife was sumfing you libbed, nod sumfing you hauled aroun inna pockybook.

"Chekbuk, keys, notes, pwanner, driber's license, munny - ebberyfing!"

So dat's whut he wife is. A bunch ob stuff - oh, an munny.

Hoominz is allus tawkin aboud munny. Dey is sabbin id, spendin id, puddin it innu banks, takin id here an dere, habbin id in akounts an mostwy not habbin enuf obbit. I don see whut good id is. It's greasy, id don taste good. Ugly peeble onna TeeBee tawk aboud it while wearin soots. Dey werk for it, pway wiffit, wook for it, act stoopid to ged it, an steel id; dey sing songs aboud it an I guess dat, nextest to lub, it'ssa most talked about fing inna werld.

Bud why?

I hab seed munny. I tasted munny. Whuts'sa big deal heer?

Hay tastes bedder. Craisins taste MUCH bedder. Sweepin probides more fun. Sunshine is preddier. My friends are more inner'estin. Heck, chasin a cat is more inner'restin.

I just don gedda hoomin fassynashun wif munny.

Mebbe you godda be more den wun foot offa da gwound to unnerstand.

Dunno. Don care. Gonna go eet sum hay.

Posted by Our Warren at 7:12 AM EST
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Monday, 1 March 2004
Day One / Third Strand
Whut a way to begin da Third Strand! Maman is goin to werk!

She sed dat we eets too much so she hasta go to werk to sussport us! Bud she wuz laffin when she sed it, so I don fink dat wuzza troof. She wuz "havin us on" as she says. I fink she is goin toda hoomin V-E-Ts to werk for Dr B cos he needs help wif his puters an Maman kin help him. Dat's ushually whut happens when she says dat she is goin to werk.

Den she goes inna car toda hoomin V-E-Ts an werks dere for awhile an den she comes home an werks heer. Den she does dat for a couplea weeks an den stops fora couplea weeks an den goes back agin. It's an on-off kinda fing.

Bud whut happins issat I don ged as much 'puter time as I ushually do cos she issn't heer an udder peebles hog da puter or I can't turn id on by myself, or else I'm wocked up inna habbytat wifoud a way to ged downnastairs toda liberry where da 'puter is. Or I'm habbin a nap or eatin or sittin in my pootie-box an I fortyged to type or sumfing happins an nobun beminds me dat I godda blog. I am a berry bizzy bunny, you know. I don just sid aroun waidin for fings to happin.

Beebe issa'nudder bizzy bunny. He's bizzy makin an'nudder hole in his habbytat. Maman nodised it wast nite. Beebe is twyin to go bisit Luckie, wike I sed bifore, an he's chewin a hole inna habbytat so he kin ged oud. Dadda pudda barrier up, bud Beeb figgers he kin push by dat onct he geds a hole inna door. I fink he's wrong cos I kin see dat Dadda also pudda bin ob pellets uppa'ginst da barrier to hold it dere, bud you can't tell Beebe ennyfing. He's just sure dat onct he geds da hole inna habbytat door, he'll be on his way to see Luckie.

Hate to tell him, bud he wrong agin! Oh well, he'll find oud dat I am rite. You'd fink he'd wearn, doh. I am ushually rite, bein Top Bun an all.

Hunny is mostwy bwind, Maman finks. I culd hab told her dat. He can't see outta da eye wiffa cattyract anna eye don werk so gud. He can't heer, eidder, budda nose still werks gud anna feets carry him where he wants to go - which is inna direkshun ob enny tweats dat is goin - so he is stilla happy bunny. Maman issa fraid, doh, datta Black Rabbit may come for him soon. We is alla fraid ob dat, yes, bud id issa pawt ob life, issn id? You can't lib your life like you is skirt ob id.

So Maman is gonna go ta werk to mak munny to buy us stuff. Dis had bedder be good is all I gots to say. Cos I don wanna hab to be in dis habbytat for no rezon. If I ged tweats outta it, den hokay, id's all rite, bud if we're not gonna ged ennyfing, den Maman an me are gonna hab to hab a widdle tawk.

You godda pud furst fings furst in wife. Anna furst fings in wife are rabbits.

Posted by Our Warren at 7:22 AM EST
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Saturday, 28 February 2004
Day Nine'teen / Sekond Strand
Well, Mouse is geddin all kinds ob speshul stuff cos he god his berries snatched yestidday. Maman's god him inna carrier an Dadda jus taked him downnastairs so he kin be wiffa "fambly" an dey kin "watch" him.

Wast nite, Mouse godded a big salad, more wadder, a nanner an sum more hay.

I godded salad, nanner, more wadder, more hay an pellets.

Ebberybunny else gotted da same fing as me, 'cept Hunny an he didn ged salad cos it gibs him poopy-butt. He god oat-groats instead cos Maman sed he needs dem to pud on weight. An he god a small spinach weaf cos Maman didn wan him to feel weft outta da salad depawtmint.

Hunny geds ebberyfing cos he is twelbe yeers owd. Dr Skolkin sed she hassin seed a bunny dat owd bifore. Den again, ob course, she sed she hassn seed a bunny as bossy as me. Dat V-E-T hassa wot to wearn.

House bunnies ushually lib a wot wonger den bunnies dat you see inna wild. Da aberage wife-span ob poor outdoor bunnies inna wild issa'boud free yeers an dat's if dey are wucky. Bemember we're tawkin aboud cottontail bunnies here, which issa distinkt species ob bunny.

Domestic bunnies dat are released innu da wild, dat are NOT cottontails, don wib ebben free yeers. Sum ob dem mite, but dees are da berry wuky wuns. Most domestic bunnies can't adapt to wibbin inna wild. Domestic bunnies don habba subibal skills dat wild bunnies hab an need. Dey don't know how to find wadder to dwink, an dey don know whut pwants to eet. Dey don know how to find beds to sweep in an dey don know how to stay outta da way ob danger. Domestic bunnies are borned to wife in DOMESTIC sitsheyashuns, where dey is used to bein probided for. When sum stoopid perzon wets dem go outside cos dey is tired ob takin care obb'em, den dey die.

Hunny has libbed a wong time cos he has wibbed inna DOMESTIC sitsheyashun alla his wife. He had a few bad hourz when his furst hoominz wuz sellin him atta yard sale an he didn hab no wadder or shade an it wuz hot oudside, bud den Maman seed him an rescued him. An he's bin heer ebber since.

He's hadda twips toda V-E-T ebbery yeer anna habbytat ob his own, an he's bin bonded to his own bunwife, an had good food an wadder an hay ebberyday ob his wife. He's nebber bin hungree, an he's nebber bin firsty. Nobun has chased him intended in harm him an gen'rally he's been 'lowed to do whut a bunny does - run da houz.

You see, I'm tellin you alla dis cos it's geddin to be near to Easter time. Anna wotta stoopid hoominz are gonna see bunnies "For Sale" inna pet shops an garden stores. An dis is wrong. Cos a wotta dose bunnies dat is sold at Easter is gonna end up bein nod wanted after dey is outta da cute baby stage. Dey is gonna be negwckted, or gibbin to shelters, or worse, dey will be wet go, or fed to snakes or used to twain pit-bull dawgs to kill.

Yeah. Dat's da horrible troof. An you godda know it, cos onwy good hoominz kin stop dis stuff frum happinin.

So if you wanna gib sumbun a bunny for Easter, gib dem a chockwate wun. Buy dem a plush, stuffie bunny. Gib dem a china figgereen. Bud don buy a libe, baby bunny an gib it a short, brutal wife.

Bemember dat Hunny is twelbe yeers owd.

Bemember datta bunny is for wife. YOUR wife anna bunny's.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:41 AM EST
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Friday, 27 February 2004
Day Eight'teen / Sekond Strand
You know you are in trubble when you godda compeet for 'puter time wif Maman. Cos you don win.

She gots her buk an I got dis blog an we bof wanna puter. She keeps sayin, "Inna minit". Lemme tell you - her "minit" is more wike an hour. A bunny kin gwow old waidin. I know I am.

Ennyway, now I goddit an I god news.

Yeah, an its good news if you're me, an not da best news if you are Mouse.

Cos, Mouse don know it, bud he's goin to Dr Sharin to hab his berries cowleked tidday. Which means I won da pooty war. Dis is gonna come assa big surpwise to him.

Heh.

I am still Top Bun an its gonna stay dat way. Cos he's comin back frumma V-E-Ts wiffout berries an I'm still gonna hab alla my pawts. So I'm Hed Bunny an ebberybunny's godda wisten to me.

Wiffoud berries, boy-buns' ownership issues is jus so much snake-snot. In two weeks' time, Mouse won't ebben be able to pee inna stwaight wine, wet awone haf-way akrost da room.

So I win. Dere.

He goes at elebben o'klock dis mornin. I herd Maman an Dadda tawkin wast nite afta dey gods home wiff him. He hadda well-bunny check-up an den Da 'Pointmint. So he's goin. He sed he don care, he nebber herd ob V-E-Ts colwektin berries, bud I'mma older bun den he is an I know wots ob stuff he don know.

I twied to ged Hunny to tell him, bud Hunny don bemember dat he ebber had berries it's bin so wong ago dat he had dem colwekted. So dat wuz usewess, as ushual.

So den I twied to ged Beebe to tell him, bud Beebe hadda "Unforchunate Hextperience" - he didn't hab just berries, he had bof fings in dere - berries and gurl stuff. So he wasn't much use in helpin out in tellin Mouse ennyfing. Beebe is preddy screwed up asit is. Maman says dis is cos he has "gender issues". I fink dat meens dat Beebe kin ged away wif bitin an all sorts ob bad behabior jus cos Maman feels sowwy for him cos he had da "Unforchunate Hextperience". He don hab "issues" he's jus Beebe an he's a furshark an dat's all dere is toit.

So ob course dat weft it all down to me to splain berry cowlektin to Mouse. An I'mma gurl. Oh well, sumtimes you godda do fings dat you wuldn't do onna reg'lar okayshun - dat's bein a Top Bun - so I twied ta 'splain it to him. An as wif most guys when you stawt tawkin 'boud berry colwektin, Mouse jus lowered his ears, gwared at me an sed, "I don wanna heer aboud dis!"

So, wike I sed, he's gonna gedda surpwise when he geds to Dr Sharin's dis mornin. He's gonna hab his berries colwekted.

An find oud dat he wost da Pooty War.

An dat I won.

Heh.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:12 AM EST
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Monday, 23 February 2004
Day Sebben'teen / Sekond Strand
Maman sed dat ebberywun shuld habba Cokie-da-Fat-Cat. I dunno. When you fink abouddit, who else wuld want 40 lbs ob dark-chocowat fur, razor talons an bug-eyes? Did I menshun it don come wiffa bwain? Well, it don. It has been known to rent wun on okkayshun, bud it don hab wun perminentwy installed.

Cokie was resqued by Sistah Beffy. Dis issa same Sistah dat fortygedded aboud us while Maman an Dadda were onna Bay-Kay-Shun on Balentine's Weekend. Jus so you know da kind ob peebles we're deelin wif, heer.

So da Sistah resqued Cokie, who wassa small kitten den, an she named him Coco-Bean, cos he wooked wika teensy-tiny widdle bean wif wegs. I unnerstan dat he wuz cute den.

Yeah, well, dere is no 'kountin fur folks, as Maman is always sayin, which means dat no madder how cwazy da 'pinion, sumbun is wikwy to hold it.

So wun day, Sistah comes heer wiff dis cat an tells Maman datta kitty wants to come to bisit his "Gwanmom". An Cokie comes uppystairs to see me an tells me dat his wife sucks. He's godda share da food bowl anna wadder bowl an he needs more room, an alla das stuff. So, I pwetend dat I'm sympafetik, cos he'sa guest an I'm powite.

Den I heer Sistah say, "Oh, well, I didn't meen dat he's comin for a bisit. I meen dat he needs to lib heer."

Whut?

An jus wike dat, we hab dis cat!

Well, we alweddy got KayCee Kitty which bewongs toda Lad. An she issa almighty noosince, bud at weast she stays outta da Bun Room. An ennyways, she is small. I kin deel wif small. Bud dis Cokie is wike a hulkin Goodyeer Blimp loomin on my horizon. An he is loomin.

In fack, dat's mostwy whut he does. He looms. He comes uppystairs an looms outsidda Bun Room, lookin in. He looms inna hallway. He looms atta toppobbastairs. He looms all ober da pwace. Just looms wif dos big yellow eyes wookin all puzzled, axtin, "How come you bunnies godda food an I don?"

Well, dat's a no-bwainer. We godda food cos we don eet id all at onct. We eet a widdle now, den a widdle waider, an den we eet sum hay. Bud Cokie eets alla food at wun go an den wunners where its all gone. Da idea ob "cause an effeck" is wost on dis cat.

So wun day, Maman weft da door opin toda Bun Room, anna door opin to my habbytat. I haddn't boddered goin oud yet, cos I wuz bizzy fixin my bwankie (an you know dat takes time), so da door was jus dere, opin. Dis is ushually no big deel.

Den heer comes Cokie. An he don fink (cos he don habba bwain), he jus comes walkin rite innu my habbytat wike he owns it!

So I rush at'tim wif my ears down. An he stops, an his eyes ged big an he wooks at me wike, "Whaaad?"

An I'm wike, "You, Stoopid Cat, ged oud. Dis is mine."

An he's wike, "Whaaad?"

So I grunt.

An he's standin dere, wif eyes da size ob saucers, starin ad me. So I stare him back. Afta all, dis is my habbytat he's jus walkin innu.

So afta a minute, he bwinks an sees my food cwock. Now I am no pellet-pig. I onwy eet when I am hongree, so ob course my cwock has pellets innit. An dis cat does no more den go ober to my cwock an stick his big fuzzy hed innu my cwock!

DA NERB!

So I backed up, lowered my hed, got my feets goin and WHAM! Smacked dat sucker amidships.

Well.

I dissypeered rite up to my shoulders. I'm tellin you, it wuz DARK in dere! Dere issa wotta fat aroun da middle obba fat-cat an I fink I went rite fru to da udder side bifore da whole fink bounced back wike a big ol rubber ball.

I shot bak wun way anna Cokie-cat shot da udder. I slammed innu da back obba habbytat, an as I untangled myself, I wuz just in time to see him bounce ober da side obba habbytat an roll past da Bun Gate innu da hallway. He fetched uppygainst da side obba wandry hamper inna furry heep.

An he hassn bin bak to bisit in my habbytat since. He comes toda doorway an wooks in an looms wiff his big, round eyes peerin, an stuff, bud he don come in.

Cos sum fings aroun heer are jus "mine", you know? An I DON needa 40 lb. fat cat, fank you!

Posted by Our Warren at 10:29 AM EST
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Sunday, 22 February 2004
Day Six'teen / Sekond Strand
My friend, Mr Bean, has weft forda Bridge. He weft wast nite while I was sweepin.

Tiday we is wightin a candle for him, to help wight his way.

See, I knew Mr Bean. When I was sik, I went to his houz. Well, acktualwy, I went to see Dr Doolan, bud Mr Bean's houz is near to da hospiddle an his mawmie knows Maman frum PB. It's a wong way frum Our Warren an Maman an Mr Bean's Mawmie fought dat I needed a brek frumma wong car ride. So we wented to Mr Bean's pwace for sumfing cawled "coffee".

So while da mawmies hadda coffee (stuff in cups dat dey dwink) I meeted Freckles, Ms. Bunns an Mr Bean.

Dey habba rilly nice pwace dere. Dey got a habbytat inna rilly beautyful sunny room, wots ob toys, rilly gud hay, a nice selekshun ob buks rite a bunny-lebbel, an dis BIG cardboard castle.

I don gotta castle.

Ennyway dey wetted me sit inna castle an I rilly wiked it! Cos I didn feel good, anna castle was nice an dark an privit an almos wike bein unnergwoun.

An Mr Bean hadda whole bafroom ob his own wiffa cool tile floor anna hidy-holes inna libbin room, anna whole bunch ob room jus for him if he wanned it.

Budda biggest fing, an Mr Bean haddit, an Toolip haddit an I hab it - issat we hab alla dis.

Becos we is lubbed. Becos we are houz rabbits.

An you know whut we do in hextchange? We lub hoominz.

Dat's it. We cuddle up wiff'em, an snuffle'em, an hab 'pinions an mak dem waf, an ged innu fings, bud mostwy we jus wub dem.

Wub issa onwy fing dat no madder how much you gib, you allus ged back more. Tawk aboudda renewable resources!

Bud you godda gib it in order to ged it. If you don gib, you don ged.

Bunnies is hextpert at gibbin wub. We just do it natchur'wy. It's Whut We Do. It's pawt ob Warren Wife. You godda wub ebberybunny so you kin take care obb'em, bud you ged back so much more den you gib.

Dat's how nobunny is ebber OnAlone inna Warren. You care for ebberybunny an ebberybunny cares for you. Bud you godda care furst.

An dat wuz Mr Bean an Toolip - dey cared furst an den dere mawmies cared. Dere mawmies came innu da shelters, an dey saw da bunnies, anna da speshul bunnies dat wuz meant for dem wooked up, anna mawmies culd see da wub dere, shinin in dere eyes. Anna mawmies taked dem home, an sure enuf, da bunnies lubbed dem, anna mawmies lubbed dem back annit jus wen on frum dere, inna big, fast-runnin cirkul.

Until tidday, whenna bunnies has gone Home toda Rainbow Bridge.

Budda Rainbow Bridge is pawt obba cirkul. Bunnies know dis; hoominz will figger it oud.

Gudbye, Mr Bean. Say "hullo" to ebberybunny, an tell dem we miss dem (speshulwy Hawthorn) an dat we will nebber fortyged dem.

Cos bememberin is pawt of wub, too.

Posted by Our Warren at 8:24 AM EST
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Saturday, 21 February 2004
Day Sixteen / Sekond Strand
Rabbits are bein 'Dopted. Yeah. Dis is gud noos. Bunnies moobin oudda Shelters an geddin dere own houzes; becomin houz rabbits, wike Alla Us Togedder at Our Warren.

Dis means dat fewer bunnies is OnAlone in shelters an more are becomin Companion Rabbits.

I wuz wucky when I wuz inna Shelter, cossa Shelter dat I wuz in wuzza all-bunny-alla-time shelter. It wuz just bunnies, kind obba berry big warren 'ecpt we wuz all waidin for noo forebber homz.

I wuz dere fora wong time bifore Maman anna Lad comed to find me. I wuz dere assa youngbun, when I wuzzn Top Bun, an jus lernin whut it meant to be safe, an dry an hab food alla time. Dat's cos my furst 'spirience wif hoominz wassn a good wun. I don bemember it too well, cos it wassa wong time ago, bud it wassn good, which is how I wound up wif Auntie Laura atta Souf Jerzy Rabbit ResQ.

You kin bisit Aunty Laura's Shelter onna WerldWideWeb at www.southjerseyrabbitrescue.org Just cut an paste dat address to your bwoswer an habba wook. Den send dem a contrybushun forda bunnies who is dere. Dat issa a reggystered, non-profit charitee and you kin take a tax deduckshun as well as help dees rabbits to hab food an witter an ebberfing dey need while dey are waidin for forebber homz.

Or else wook fora rabbit shelter in your area an help dem oud wif sum bolunteer time sum munny. Dey allus needs food an witter.

If you're a gardener, mebbe you kin getta deel on bunny pooties by da bag. Nuffin is bedder for gwowin beggytables or roses den bunny pooties!

Ennyways, I was dere atta rescue when Maman anna Lad comed in. Dey bwought dis udder rabbit wif dem. His name wuz "Heatherington" an he wassa Bwack an White Dutch. He telled me dat dey were wookin fora bondmate for him an dat dey had seed my pikchur onna WerldWideWeb. He sed he wassn't too innerrested in habbin a bondmate cos his friend, Hunny (yeah, da same Hunny dat is still heer) hadda bondmate inna bossy Rex babe named Maggie, bud if I wanned to come home wif him, it wuz hokay wif him, he wuldn't stand in my way or mak a fuss.

So I whiffed ebberybun oud. For wun fing, dey tawked funny. Waider on, I found oud dat dis wuz cos dey had comed frum Inkwand back to Noo Jerzey. I also smelled Hunny an Maggie an dey smelled happy. Heatherington smelled happy, too, an he wuz berry neat an hansum in his formal "tuxeedo" wook. Berry well-gwoomed. He sed Maman anna Lad handed out a wotta reg'lar food an good hay an wadder. He also sed dere wuz run-time an toys, an dat I wuld hab my own habbytat an ennyfing else dat I wanted cos Maman wuz soft inna hed an wuld do jus aboud ennyfing forda bunnies.

An so Maman an da Lad an Aunty Laura all sad onna floor wif me and I god cuddled. I also god Craisins. I had sum pwaytime wif Heatherington. I dida wotta binkies an footflicks an hedtosses, jus to act cute. After all, its nice to be rescued bud to habba houz ob your own, ebben if you hab a cuppula houzmates, means a bigger share obba tweats an tweats is wunna da major concerns in my wife.

An den, don'cha know Maman anna Lad stuck me inna carrier an den inna car an we drove aroun inna dark fora wong time an den I ended up heer.

Well, Maggie went toda Bridge in 2000, an so did Heatherington. Dey were preddy old for bunnies. Maman an Dadda (he had arribed by den an married Maman) anna Lad cwied cos dey left us. Poet came an axteedentally moobed in wif Hunny. Willow moobed in wif me for a widdle while an den she went toda Bridge, too, an den Hawthorn became my bondmate for yeers bifore godda horribul "cansur" an weft forda Bridge in August. I still miss him. He wassa bestest bondmate ennybunny culd hab.

Alla dees bunnies comed frum rescues. Most ob dem comed frum shelters cos dere furst homes didn wan dem ennymore. Dis is cos a wotta hoominz fink dat geddin a bunny for "Easter" issa gud idea.

Fink again.

Bunnies are not pwesents. You gib away "fings", nod libes. If you wanna 'dopt a bunny cos you wanna companion, dat's good. If you wanna 'dopt a bunny cos you habba bunny who wants a companion, dat's good, too - bud be prepared for dem nod to ged awong, too. Heatherington an I nebber made it assa pair, you'll nodice, bud it didn madder. I'm still heer at Our Warren, an I'm Top Bun, now. Bunnies are Companions for Wife, nod pwesents inna Easter baskit.

You wanna gibba bunny for Easter, gibba chocowate wun. Bedder still, you wanna do sumfing on Easter, den buy a bunny a widdle time - donate, eidder time or munny, to your nearest bunny-shelter.

Fanks. Frum Alla Us Togedder.

Posted by Our Warren at 8:54 AM EST
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Friday, 20 February 2004
Day Fifteen / Sekond Strand
An impawtant British engineering pwofessor atta weadin unnybercity has posduwated dat bunnies mite be smawter den hoominz.

Well it's aboud time wunna you caught a glimpse.

I mean wook attit: reeda noospapers! Ebbery udder day inna "The Sun" dere issa stowy aboud sum gurl named "Jordan", an whut's her claim to bein famoos? She's godda big fake teets. Dat's it. She don sing, she don dance, she don type buks, she don do ennyfing 'cept bobble her sillykone impwants. Whoa! Now dere is sumfing to be famoos aboud!

An wet's see, whut's inna "Daily Mirror"? Ohmigoodness, itsa stowy aboudda Armee guy anna Armee gurl dat hab bin habbin sex an blamin each udder for it. Ob course, she says he inbited her innu a closet an she went so he wuld stop axtin her. Yeah, dat maks sense. She sed she fought habbin sex wiff him wuld be a wife changin hextperience for her, an she wuz dissypointed. Well, hey, it habbins. He says he's nodda sextual peddytor. Dis is troo - he'ssa jerk. An hoominz wine da boddums ob innysint birdies' cages wif dis stuff!

Da "big stowy" inna "Washington Post" da wast few weeks was wedder dis "John Kerry" guy god innu bed wiffa unnamed chick. A wotta hoominz spent a wotta time an trubble twyin to find oud who dis chick wuz, where she is now an whut she finks. So, ummm, wet me axt sumfing: was she hextpectin a wife-alterin hextperience an wuz she dissypointed? Do we care?

Da "Philadelphia Inquirer" wants to know aboud "potholes". Dis is nice. Dadda wants to know aboud dem, too - wike when is sumbun gonna stop readin da noospaper at werk an go oud inna twucks an fix da stoopid fings. Maman issa 'fraid to dribe da widdle car cos she finks it's gonna fall inna pothole an nod be able to ged oud.

Da "Philadelphia Daily News" wants to know if sum big mouf baskit ball player shuld be twaded an if he is, will dere team ebber win anudder game. Gee, I dunno. Den again, da werld culd end tomorrow an den whut? Dey gonna pway baskit ball?

Sum on-wine noos sinykit axted me to click on who I fought was gonna win da 'Lekshun for Pressydent. Yeah, wike it's gonna be held tomorrow an I know who is runnin an what dey're promisin to do - an whut kinda sweater dey is wikewy to be wearin on enny gibbin okayshun.

The hard fack here is dat bunnies don werry. We eat. We sweep. We poop. We pway. We ged on wiffit. We don destwoy da pwanet. We don build wepuns ob mass destruckshun. We do fings "Alla Us Togedder" an take care ob our warrens. Yeah, we sqabble an hab pootie-wars, bud we ged ober it, an while we're habbin dem, it keeps us okkypied. We are not bored. Ebbery day, innits infinite variety, is innerrestin.

So, whut are you doin tidday?

Posted by Our Warren at 9:26 AM EST
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Thursday, 19 February 2004
Say Fourteen / Sekond Strand
Maman sed tidday issa "soft" day. Whut she means is datta sun is hidin behinda cwouds, anna wight oudside issn hard an bwilliant.

I am wearnin dat werds in Inkwish habba wotta meanings forda same werd. Dis is'speshully troo aroun heer.

Wet's take "soft" fora hextampul.

Dere is "soft" wike when da sun don shine an it is misty an rainey.

Den dere is "soft" as in when sumbun pets me an says dat my fur feels "soft an furry". Well, dat's a no-bwainer, issn't it? I'm a bunny. Troo, I'm not "pwush" wike Hunny's Maggie wuz, bud she wassa Rex Bunny an dey is known for not habbin guard hairs in dere coats, so dey is extry "soft" toda touch. Bud I am berry furry an nice to pet, speshully arounna ears.

Den dere is "soft" wike bog roll. I'm nod sure why dissis such a big fing wif hoominz, bud it must be cossits onna TeeBee alla time. "Squeezably Soft" bafroom tissue. Oh well. I guess you godda mak da stuff wook good sumhow.

Den dere is "soft" assin "soft inna hed" which is whut Hunny is. Means he's owd an nod too bwight an geds easily confoozled. Nice way to say he's daft bud nod onrey aboud it.

An wast ob all dere is "soft" wike when Dadda cawls me a "soft auld cow". I'm nod sure whut dis means. Furst ob all, I amma bunny, nodda moo-cow (aldoh I am bwack an white, I'm no Friesian! An contwawy toda popular belib, I don god no horns, eidder! Dees are ears, hokay?) Bud Dadda says I am "soft" an he don mean my fur, and I know he doessn mean my hed, an he sure don mean my tempermint.

He twied to 'splain it to Maman when dey was downnastairs da udder nite. "Soft" inna Zommerset dialect, which is whut Dadda speaks (Maman speaks Lancastrian which is inna Norf ob Inkwand; Dadda is frumma West Countree inna South.), means dat I am sort ob "silly, soppy, sentymental, an sweet."

Den I herd:

Maman: Smawt?

Dadda: We're tawkin aboud Belinda heer.

Maman: Oh.

Me: Whut?

Now I'm axtin you, does dat sound wike me? Just cos I wanna hab my ears petted an my butt scratched, do I sound attall "soft"?

I don fink so.

Which jus goes to show you datta Inkwish wanguage issn much gud. Dere are too menny werds dat sound da same bud dat mean too menny dif'frunt fings, most ob dem contradiktory to each udder.

No wonder you hoominz is fweequintly missunnerstandin each udder!

Annits no wunner dat I hab trubble spellin alla dees werds!

Posted by Our Warren at 9:31 AM EST
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Wednesday, 18 February 2004
Day Firteen / Sekond Strand
Sumbunny axt on PetBunny aboud "How Rabbits Smell Things". Dey wanted to know how bunnies reacted toda smell ob tweats, so dey are cunducktin a "mini-poll". Maman was gonna type in aboud us, bud I stopped her.

Dere is no rezon for her to go tellin aboud us onna WerldWideWeb. She'll mak us sound all cute an all, bud lemme tell you, whut happins in dis Warren issn "cute". It's pa-fetik.

We ged tweats ebbery nite. It usta be dat we goddem onwy wunct a week cos it was 'sposed to be "bedder for health". Whutebber. I soon stopped dat by da simpul expeedient ob pullin down ebberybunny's socks.

Now "socks" issa fings dat hoomins wear onna feets. Dey is toobs ob fabrick dat go ober da feets an pawt way uppa wegs. Dere is no point inn'em, cept to gib a bunny a handle for easy pullin. 'Parentwy, id is berry 'nnoyin to habba socks pulled downna weg toda ankul (pawt obba weg). So if you wanna gedda 'tenshun obba hoomin an you are wun foot offa gwound, gwab a mouf full obba TOP pawt obba sock an pull downward.

Id also maks hoomins berry werried whenna bunny seems to be goin uppa weg obba pants, too, ebben when you are jus goin fora sock. Must be sum kinda ebbolooshunary defensib response or sumfing, bud I hab found dat stickin my hed uppa inside ob Dadda's pantsweg makes him BERRY nerbous.

Dis is useful infortymashun, as you will see.

Oh, an sumtimes dere will be toes stickin oudda end ob socks. Nebber bodder aboud dem. In fack, don bodder aboudda udder end ob socks at all. Da feets ends ob socks are ushually nasty; ebben smellin dem kin gib you a hed-ake. Leeb dis end obba socks berry much awone.

Maman sumtimes wears socks, too, bud she wears wong skirts. Id is easy to stick a hed uppa skirt, more easy den uppa pants weg, bud she knows bunnies an don ged too boddered by me. She also don care much abbouda socks. So I hab found datta sock-pullin werks best onna male hoomins.

Ennyways, wike I sed, we was onwy geddin tweats wunct a week, cos Maman sed dat too menny tweats was not gud for us. I disagreed an as you know, its my 'pinion as Top Bun dat counts.

Besides, Hunny was on my side. Course, he's no gud at sock-pullin. Dis is becaws Hunny smells a tweat an geds all hextsited an stawts standin up on his back feets. Dis was hokay when he wassa youngbun cos he had Balance, bud now dat he's owd, he don hab dat enny more. So when he is standin on his back feets, he's swayin wike a twee inna high wind.

An Poet who is his bondmate, when she smells tweats, she just goes nuts, careenin aroun in widdle cirkuls. Dis is cos she is also owd an don got enny Sense. Bud awong wiffa udder Senses she has wost, she has also wost her Sense ob Direkshun, an so whenna tweats arrib an she wooses her mind, she stawts cirkulin aroun an bangs into Hunny wike a oudda-contwol bumper-car.

An wif him begin on his back wegs and swayin, well, dere's jus dis twain-weck ob bunnies tangled up in a furry, stwugglin heap onna floor.

Which skers Maman cos she finks Hunny's "fragile". Yeah, he's "fragile" allwite, inna bwain, da daft owd bugger.

So Maman an Dadda (who are totally takin in by dis pafetic act ob Rampant Senility) stand outsidda Bun Room Door wiffa tweats in dere hands, an dey count. "Wun...Too...Free!" An den dey fling aside da barrier an rush in an pound ober toda Seniors' Habbytat an feed dem furst!

An I kin see Hunny's in dere waffin at me as he's stuffin his cheeks full ob nanners, cos I godda wiad while he's habbin nanners bifore I do.

Which maks me mad. I mean, da NERB! Here I go pullin down socks, stickin my hed uppa pants' wegs, wookin atta ankuls an dey gedda tweats bifore me? An I'mma Top Bun aroun heer?

WIADAMINIT!!

Pafetik. Jus pafetik. Maks me sik jus finkin abouddit. Nebber mind. I godda go sulk.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:01 AM EST
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Tuesday, 17 February 2004
Day Twelbe / Sekond Strand
Toolip!! You weft forda Bridge an I didn gedda chance to say good-bye!! Toolip!!

Oh dis is berry sad!

Wun ob my friends, Pwince Toolip, weft forda Rainbow Bridge an I didn know aboud it till now. Dat makes fibe bunnies dis week alreddy dat has weft forda Bridge. An I didn ged to say good-bye.

At weast I god to say good-bye to SnoBall. So you see, dat was hokay. We, alla us, sed good-bye to SnoBall when we seed da Black Rabbit, so when he weft us he wassn't afraid. I'm hopin dat da Empwess Iby who libbed wiffa Pwince seed da Black Rabbit an hadda chance to say good-bye to Toolip, bud I didn, an I wuld hab wiked to. Toolip was my friend, an dat's whut friends do: we is dere to say "Good-bye" an "Don werry, I'll be along aftaward." Dat's whut we do. Itsa rabbit way.

Bud I wassn' dere. I was heer.

Da udder four bunnies dat went toda Bridge is bunnies dat I didn know. Not dat it madders. We are all Wun Big Warren, Alla Us Togedder.

Bud dey went wiffa Black Rabbit inna shelter.

For NO REASON.

At weast Toolip knew sumbunny lubbed him. Auntie Patricia lubbed Toolip. Da Empwess Iby lubbed Toolip. He hadda habbytat, an toys an pway-time an his own food crock an hay an wadder. Dees bunnies inna publik shelter was libbin on Hope an nuffin else in Santa Monica, Callyfornia. On 9th Stweet. Dey was waidin for sumbun to 'dopt dem, wike Maman 'dopted me. Dey was waidin to finda HOME.

Dere was two pairs ob dem, bonded for wife. Wun obb'em was named "Vanilla" an was bonded to "Chocolate". Well, some mean person broke uppa bond an "Vanilla" godda oberdose ob drugs an was killed. Don say "pud to sweep" cos dat makes it sound hokay an it's nod. Vanilla was killed. No reason. Just killed. Cos sum hoomin wanted to.

Dere was plenty ob room atta shelter. Dere was plenty ob food an wadder an hoominz to care for dem. Dey was forced to lib outside inna "hutch", nod inside where it was safe and dry alla time, bud at weast dey weren't totally homewess. Dey wuz waidin for HOMES. I know whut dat's wike. I waided free yeers fora HOME. Den I gotted wun. Dis wun. I habba HOME. Dey nebber hadda chance to ged to HOME. Dey was killed while dey waided.

So Vanilla an free udder bunnies atta Santa Monica Shelter won't habba chance fora HOME now. Dey is gone wiffa Black Rabbit toda Rainbow Bridge wif my friend, Toolip.

An you know whut? I hope dat Toolip will show dem a plwace atta Rainbow Bridge where dere issa HOME for ebberybunny. Toolip issa smawt bunny. He knows whutta HOME is. He knows whutta HOME wooks wike an smells wike cos he had wun wif Auntie Patricia. He'll be able to guide poor Vanilla anna free udder bunnies frumma Santa Monica Shelter onna way, an show dem a pwace dat's HOME where dere are toys, an habbytats, an your own food crock, hay bins an wadder; sumpwace where you kin sit inna sun an sweep an nobun bodders you, an where you kin come oud to pway an dere are safe pwaces to hextplore an binky aroun.

Toolip will know alla boud dis an he'll share ebberyfing he knows wiffa poor shelter buns who nebber hadda chance to know whut it wuz wike to habba hoomin ob dere own. Maman sed datta Santa Monica Shelter Bunnies issa bictims obba selfish hoomin bur-ack-ra-cee, where wun mean hoomin can kill bunnies an nobun else cares. He don hab to justify murder; he kin jus do it.

Jus cos you is born hoomin don mak you God. You can't gib life, so howcome you is so casual aboud takin it away frum udders?

Maman says dat hoomins are Stewards obba Earth, nodda rulers ob id. Dere is onwy wun King an id issn you. Maman issa Anglican, an dis is whut is teached inna Anglicans. Anglicans also belieb inna Bridge, Maman telled me, an dat she don fink dat dis werld is alla werld dat dere is. An dis is why I know dat Toolip is atta Bridge wif SnoBall an Hunny's Maggie an Smokey an my Hawthorn an Vanilla anna udder bunnies frum Santa Monica who didn ged to know whut habbin a HOME is alla boud.

Mebbe dose bunnies didn find a HOME here on dis pwanet. I'm beliebin dat Toolip will show dem da way to HOME ober da Rainbow Bridge.

An Toolip won let ennybunny down. Toolip is my friend. I will miss you, Toolip...

Posted by Our Warren at 9:10 AM EST
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