The Hay Diaries
21 Dec, 15 > 27 Dec, 15
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7 Dec, 15 > 13 Dec, 15
17 Sep, 12 > 23 Sep, 12
14 Jun, 10 > 20 Jun, 10
7 Jun, 10 > 13 Jun, 10
31 May, 10 > 6 Jun, 10
22 Mar, 10 > 28 Mar, 10
8 Feb, 10 > 14 Feb, 10
25 Jan, 10 > 31 Jan, 10
18 Jan, 10 > 24 Jan, 10
11 Jan, 10 > 17 Jan, 10
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11 May, 09 > 17 May, 09
20 Apr, 09 > 26 Apr, 09
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30 Mar, 09 > 5 Apr, 09
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9 Mar, 09 > 15 Mar, 09
5 Jan, 09 > 11 Jan, 09
29 Dec, 08 > 4 Jan, 09
1 Dec, 08 > 7 Dec, 08
7 Jul, 08 > 13 Jul, 08
23 Jun, 08 > 29 Jun, 08
16 Jun, 08 > 22 Jun, 08
26 May, 08 > 1 Jun, 08
12 May, 08 > 18 May, 08
5 May, 08 > 11 May, 08
31 Mar, 08 > 6 Apr, 08
24 Mar, 08 > 30 Mar, 08
17 Mar, 08 > 23 Mar, 08
10 Mar, 08 > 16 Mar, 08
3 Mar, 08 > 9 Mar, 08
25 Feb, 08 > 2 Mar, 08
18 Feb, 08 > 24 Feb, 08
11 Feb, 08 > 17 Feb, 08
4 Feb, 08 > 10 Feb, 08
28 Jan, 08 > 3 Feb, 08
21 Jan, 08 > 27 Jan, 08
14 Jan, 08 > 20 Jan, 08
17 Dec, 07 > 23 Dec, 07
19 Nov, 07 > 25 Nov, 07
12 Nov, 07 > 18 Nov, 07
5 Nov, 07 > 11 Nov, 07
29 Oct, 07 > 4 Nov, 07
22 Oct, 07 > 28 Oct, 07
8 Oct, 07 > 14 Oct, 07
1 Oct, 07 > 7 Oct, 07
27 Aug, 07 > 2 Sep, 07
20 Aug, 07 > 26 Aug, 07
13 Aug, 07 > 19 Aug, 07
6 Aug, 07 > 12 Aug, 07
23 Jul, 07 > 29 Jul, 07
16 Jul, 07 > 22 Jul, 07
18 Jun, 07 > 24 Jun, 07
11 Jun, 07 > 17 Jun, 07
4 Jun, 07 > 10 Jun, 07
28 May, 07 > 3 Jun, 07
21 May, 07 > 27 May, 07
14 May, 07 > 20 May, 07
30 Apr, 07 > 6 May, 07
23 Apr, 07 > 29 Apr, 07
16 Apr, 07 > 22 Apr, 07
2 Apr, 07 > 8 Apr, 07
26 Mar, 07 > 1 Apr, 07
19 Mar, 07 > 25 Mar, 07
12 Mar, 07 > 18 Mar, 07
5 Mar, 07 > 11 Mar, 07
26 Feb, 07 > 4 Mar, 07
19 Feb, 07 > 25 Feb, 07
12 Feb, 07 > 18 Feb, 07
22 Jan, 07 > 28 Jan, 07
15 Jan, 07 > 21 Jan, 07
8 Jan, 07 > 14 Jan, 07
1 Jan, 07 > 7 Jan, 07
25 Dec, 06 > 31 Dec, 06
18 Dec, 06 > 24 Dec, 06
11 Dec, 06 > 17 Dec, 06
4 Dec, 06 > 10 Dec, 06
27 Nov, 06 > 3 Dec, 06
6 Nov, 06 > 12 Nov, 06
30 Oct, 06 > 5 Nov, 06
2 Oct, 06 > 8 Oct, 06
25 Sep, 06 > 1 Oct, 06
11 Sep, 06 > 17 Sep, 06
28 Aug, 06 > 3 Sep, 06
21 Aug, 06 > 27 Aug, 06
14 Aug, 06 > 20 Aug, 06
7 Aug, 06 > 13 Aug, 06
17 Jul, 06 > 23 Jul, 06
10 Jul, 06 > 16 Jul, 06
3 Jul, 06 > 9 Jul, 06
26 Jun, 06 > 2 Jul, 06
19 Jun, 06 > 25 Jun, 06
12 Jun, 06 > 18 Jun, 06
5 Jun, 06 > 11 Jun, 06
29 May, 06 > 4 Jun, 06
22 May, 06 > 28 May, 06
15 May, 06 > 21 May, 06
8 May, 06 > 14 May, 06
1 May, 06 > 7 May, 06
24 Apr, 06 > 30 Apr, 06
17 Apr, 06 > 23 Apr, 06
6 Mar, 06 > 12 Mar, 06
27 Feb, 06 > 5 Mar, 06
13 Feb, 06 > 19 Feb, 06
6 Feb, 06 > 12 Feb, 06
30 Jan, 06 > 5 Feb, 06
9 Jan, 06 > 15 Jan, 06
2 Jan, 06 > 8 Jan, 06
19 Dec, 05 > 25 Dec, 05
12 Dec, 05 > 18 Dec, 05
5 Dec, 05 > 11 Dec, 05
28 Nov, 05 > 4 Dec, 05
21 Nov, 05 > 27 Nov, 05
14 Nov, 05 > 20 Nov, 05
31 Oct, 05 > 6 Nov, 05
17 Oct, 05 > 23 Oct, 05
10 Oct, 05 > 16 Oct, 05
3 Oct, 05 > 9 Oct, 05
27 Jun, 05 > 3 Jul, 05
20 Jun, 05 > 26 Jun, 05
6 Jun, 05 > 12 Jun, 05
23 May, 05 > 29 May, 05
16 May, 05 > 22 May, 05
11 Apr, 05 > 17 Apr, 05
4 Apr, 05 > 10 Apr, 05
28 Mar, 05 > 3 Apr, 05
21 Mar, 05 > 27 Mar, 05
21 Feb, 05 > 27 Feb, 05
7 Feb, 05 > 13 Feb, 05
31 Jan, 05 > 6 Feb, 05
24 Jan, 05 > 30 Jan, 05
17 Jan, 05 > 23 Jan, 05
10 Jan, 05 > 16 Jan, 05
6 Dec, 04 > 12 Dec, 04
29 Nov, 04 > 5 Dec, 04
22 Nov, 04 > 28 Nov, 04
15 Nov, 04 > 21 Nov, 04
18 Oct, 04 > 24 Oct, 04
27 Sep, 04 > 3 Oct, 04
20 Sep, 04 > 26 Sep, 04
6 Sep, 04 > 12 Sep, 04
30 Aug, 04 > 5 Sep, 04
23 Aug, 04 > 29 Aug, 04
16 Aug, 04 > 22 Aug, 04
9 Aug, 04 > 15 Aug, 04
2 Aug, 04 > 8 Aug, 04
26 Jul, 04 > 1 Aug, 04
19 Jul, 04 > 25 Jul, 04
5 Jul, 04 > 11 Jul, 04
28 Jun, 04 > 4 Jul, 04
21 Jun, 04 > 27 Jun, 04
14 Jun, 04 > 20 Jun, 04
7 Jun, 04 > 13 Jun, 04
31 May, 04 > 6 Jun, 04
24 May, 04 > 30 May, 04
17 May, 04 > 23 May, 04
10 May, 04 > 16 May, 04
3 May, 04 > 9 May, 04
26 Apr, 04 > 2 May, 04
19 Apr, 04 > 25 Apr, 04
12 Apr, 04 > 18 Apr, 04
5 Apr, 04 > 11 Apr, 04
29 Mar, 04 > 4 Apr, 04
22 Mar, 04 > 28 Mar, 04
15 Mar, 04 > 21 Mar, 04
8 Mar, 04 > 14 Mar, 04
1 Mar, 04 > 7 Mar, 04
23 Feb, 04 > 29 Feb, 04
16 Feb, 04 > 22 Feb, 04
9 Feb, 04 > 15 Feb, 04
2 Feb, 04 > 8 Feb, 04
26 Jan, 04 > 1 Feb, 04
19 Jan, 04 > 25 Jan, 04
12 Jan, 04 > 18 Jan, 04
5 Jan, 04 > 11 Jan, 04
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Saturday, 28 February 2004
Day Nine'teen / Sekond Strand
Well, Mouse is geddin all kinds ob speshul stuff cos he god his berries snatched yestidday. Maman's god him inna carrier an Dadda jus taked him downnastairs so he kin be wiffa "fambly" an dey kin "watch" him.

Wast nite, Mouse godded a big salad, more wadder, a nanner an sum more hay.

I godded salad, nanner, more wadder, more hay an pellets.

Ebberybunny else gotted da same fing as me, 'cept Hunny an he didn ged salad cos it gibs him poopy-butt. He god oat-groats instead cos Maman sed he needs dem to pud on weight. An he god a small spinach weaf cos Maman didn wan him to feel weft outta da salad depawtmint.

Hunny geds ebberyfing cos he is twelbe yeers owd. Dr Skolkin sed she hassin seed a bunny dat owd bifore. Den again, ob course, she sed she hassn seed a bunny as bossy as me. Dat V-E-T hassa wot to wearn.

House bunnies ushually lib a wot wonger den bunnies dat you see inna wild. Da aberage wife-span ob poor outdoor bunnies inna wild issa'boud free yeers an dat's if dey are wucky. Bemember we're tawkin aboud cottontail bunnies here, which issa distinkt species ob bunny.

Domestic bunnies dat are released innu da wild, dat are NOT cottontails, don wib ebben free yeers. Sum ob dem mite, but dees are da berry wuky wuns. Most domestic bunnies can't adapt to wibbin inna wild. Domestic bunnies don habba subibal skills dat wild bunnies hab an need. Dey don't know how to find wadder to dwink, an dey don know whut pwants to eet. Dey don know how to find beds to sweep in an dey don know how to stay outta da way ob danger. Domestic bunnies are borned to wife in DOMESTIC sitsheyashuns, where dey is used to bein probided for. When sum stoopid perzon wets dem go outside cos dey is tired ob takin care obb'em, den dey die.

Hunny has libbed a wong time cos he has wibbed inna DOMESTIC sitsheyashun alla his wife. He had a few bad hourz when his furst hoominz wuz sellin him atta yard sale an he didn hab no wadder or shade an it wuz hot oudside, bud den Maman seed him an rescued him. An he's bin heer ebber since.

He's hadda twips toda V-E-T ebbery yeer anna habbytat ob his own, an he's bin bonded to his own bunwife, an had good food an wadder an hay ebberyday ob his wife. He's nebber bin hungree, an he's nebber bin firsty. Nobun has chased him intended in harm him an gen'rally he's been 'lowed to do whut a bunny does - run da houz.

You see, I'm tellin you alla dis cos it's geddin to be near to Easter time. Anna wotta stoopid hoominz are gonna see bunnies "For Sale" inna pet shops an garden stores. An dis is wrong. Cos a wotta dose bunnies dat is sold at Easter is gonna end up bein nod wanted after dey is outta da cute baby stage. Dey is gonna be negwckted, or gibbin to shelters, or worse, dey will be wet go, or fed to snakes or used to twain pit-bull dawgs to kill.

Yeah. Dat's da horrible troof. An you godda know it, cos onwy good hoominz kin stop dis stuff frum happinin.

So if you wanna gib sumbun a bunny for Easter, gib dem a chockwate wun. Buy dem a plush, stuffie bunny. Gib dem a china figgereen. Bud don buy a libe, baby bunny an gib it a short, brutal wife.

Bemember dat Hunny is twelbe yeers owd.

Bemember datta bunny is for wife. YOUR wife anna bunny's.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:41 AM EST
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Friday, 27 February 2004
Day Eight'teen / Sekond Strand
You know you are in trubble when you godda compeet for 'puter time wif Maman. Cos you don win.

She gots her buk an I got dis blog an we bof wanna puter. She keeps sayin, "Inna minit". Lemme tell you - her "minit" is more wike an hour. A bunny kin gwow old waidin. I know I am.

Ennyway, now I goddit an I god news.

Yeah, an its good news if you're me, an not da best news if you are Mouse.

Cos, Mouse don know it, bud he's goin to Dr Sharin to hab his berries cowleked tidday. Which means I won da pooty war. Dis is gonna come assa big surpwise to him.

Heh.

I am still Top Bun an its gonna stay dat way. Cos he's comin back frumma V-E-Ts wiffout berries an I'm still gonna hab alla my pawts. So I'm Hed Bunny an ebberybunny's godda wisten to me.

Wiffoud berries, boy-buns' ownership issues is jus so much snake-snot. In two weeks' time, Mouse won't ebben be able to pee inna stwaight wine, wet awone haf-way akrost da room.

So I win. Dere.

He goes at elebben o'klock dis mornin. I herd Maman an Dadda tawkin wast nite afta dey gods home wiff him. He hadda well-bunny check-up an den Da 'Pointmint. So he's goin. He sed he don care, he nebber herd ob V-E-Ts colwektin berries, bud I'mma older bun den he is an I know wots ob stuff he don know.

I twied to ged Hunny to tell him, bud Hunny don bemember dat he ebber had berries it's bin so wong ago dat he had dem colwekted. So dat wuz usewess, as ushual.

So den I twied to ged Beebe to tell him, bud Beebe hadda "Unforchunate Hextperience" - he didn't hab just berries, he had bof fings in dere - berries and gurl stuff. So he wasn't much use in helpin out in tellin Mouse ennyfing. Beebe is preddy screwed up asit is. Maman says dis is cos he has "gender issues". I fink dat meens dat Beebe kin ged away wif bitin an all sorts ob bad behabior jus cos Maman feels sowwy for him cos he had da "Unforchunate Hextperience". He don hab "issues" he's jus Beebe an he's a furshark an dat's all dere is toit.

So ob course dat weft it all down to me to splain berry cowlektin to Mouse. An I'mma gurl. Oh well, sumtimes you godda do fings dat you wuldn't do onna reg'lar okayshun - dat's bein a Top Bun - so I twied ta 'splain it to him. An as wif most guys when you stawt tawkin 'boud berry colwektin, Mouse jus lowered his ears, gwared at me an sed, "I don wanna heer aboud dis!"

So, wike I sed, he's gonna gedda surpwise when he geds to Dr Sharin's dis mornin. He's gonna hab his berries colwekted.

An find oud dat he wost da Pooty War.

An dat I won.

Heh.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:12 AM EST
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Monday, 23 February 2004
Day Sebben'teen / Sekond Strand
Maman sed dat ebberywun shuld habba Cokie-da-Fat-Cat. I dunno. When you fink abouddit, who else wuld want 40 lbs ob dark-chocowat fur, razor talons an bug-eyes? Did I menshun it don come wiffa bwain? Well, it don. It has been known to rent wun on okkayshun, bud it don hab wun perminentwy installed.

Cokie was resqued by Sistah Beffy. Dis issa same Sistah dat fortygedded aboud us while Maman an Dadda were onna Bay-Kay-Shun on Balentine's Weekend. Jus so you know da kind ob peebles we're deelin wif, heer.

So da Sistah resqued Cokie, who wassa small kitten den, an she named him Coco-Bean, cos he wooked wika teensy-tiny widdle bean wif wegs. I unnerstan dat he wuz cute den.

Yeah, well, dere is no 'kountin fur folks, as Maman is always sayin, which means dat no madder how cwazy da 'pinion, sumbun is wikwy to hold it.

So wun day, Sistah comes heer wiff dis cat an tells Maman datta kitty wants to come to bisit his "Gwanmom". An Cokie comes uppystairs to see me an tells me dat his wife sucks. He's godda share da food bowl anna wadder bowl an he needs more room, an alla das stuff. So, I pwetend dat I'm sympafetik, cos he'sa guest an I'm powite.

Den I heer Sistah say, "Oh, well, I didn't meen dat he's comin for a bisit. I meen dat he needs to lib heer."

Whut?

An jus wike dat, we hab dis cat!

Well, we alweddy got KayCee Kitty which bewongs toda Lad. An she issa almighty noosince, bud at weast she stays outta da Bun Room. An ennyways, she is small. I kin deel wif small. Bud dis Cokie is wike a hulkin Goodyeer Blimp loomin on my horizon. An he is loomin.

In fack, dat's mostwy whut he does. He looms. He comes uppystairs an looms outsidda Bun Room, lookin in. He looms inna hallway. He looms atta toppobbastairs. He looms all ober da pwace. Just looms wif dos big yellow eyes wookin all puzzled, axtin, "How come you bunnies godda food an I don?"

Well, dat's a no-bwainer. We godda food cos we don eet id all at onct. We eet a widdle now, den a widdle waider, an den we eet sum hay. Bud Cokie eets alla food at wun go an den wunners where its all gone. Da idea ob "cause an effeck" is wost on dis cat.

So wun day, Maman weft da door opin toda Bun Room, anna door opin to my habbytat. I haddn't boddered goin oud yet, cos I wuz bizzy fixin my bwankie (an you know dat takes time), so da door was jus dere, opin. Dis is ushually no big deel.

Den heer comes Cokie. An he don fink (cos he don habba bwain), he jus comes walkin rite innu my habbytat wike he owns it!

So I rush at'tim wif my ears down. An he stops, an his eyes ged big an he wooks at me wike, "Whaaad?"

An I'm wike, "You, Stoopid Cat, ged oud. Dis is mine."

An he's wike, "Whaaad?"

So I grunt.

An he's standin dere, wif eyes da size ob saucers, starin ad me. So I stare him back. Afta all, dis is my habbytat he's jus walkin innu.

So afta a minute, he bwinks an sees my food cwock. Now I am no pellet-pig. I onwy eet when I am hongree, so ob course my cwock has pellets innit. An dis cat does no more den go ober to my cwock an stick his big fuzzy hed innu my cwock!

DA NERB!

So I backed up, lowered my hed, got my feets goin and WHAM! Smacked dat sucker amidships.

Well.

I dissypeered rite up to my shoulders. I'm tellin you, it wuz DARK in dere! Dere issa wotta fat aroun da middle obba fat-cat an I fink I went rite fru to da udder side bifore da whole fink bounced back wike a big ol rubber ball.

I shot bak wun way anna Cokie-cat shot da udder. I slammed innu da back obba habbytat, an as I untangled myself, I wuz just in time to see him bounce ober da side obba habbytat an roll past da Bun Gate innu da hallway. He fetched uppygainst da side obba wandry hamper inna furry heep.

An he hassn bin bak to bisit in my habbytat since. He comes toda doorway an wooks in an looms wiff his big, round eyes peerin, an stuff, bud he don come in.

Cos sum fings aroun heer are jus "mine", you know? An I DON needa 40 lb. fat cat, fank you!

Posted by Our Warren at 10:29 AM EST
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Sunday, 22 February 2004
Day Six'teen / Sekond Strand
My friend, Mr Bean, has weft forda Bridge. He weft wast nite while I was sweepin.

Tiday we is wightin a candle for him, to help wight his way.

See, I knew Mr Bean. When I was sik, I went to his houz. Well, acktualwy, I went to see Dr Doolan, bud Mr Bean's houz is near to da hospiddle an his mawmie knows Maman frum PB. It's a wong way frum Our Warren an Maman an Mr Bean's Mawmie fought dat I needed a brek frumma wong car ride. So we wented to Mr Bean's pwace for sumfing cawled "coffee".

So while da mawmies hadda coffee (stuff in cups dat dey dwink) I meeted Freckles, Ms. Bunns an Mr Bean.

Dey habba rilly nice pwace dere. Dey got a habbytat inna rilly beautyful sunny room, wots ob toys, rilly gud hay, a nice selekshun ob buks rite a bunny-lebbel, an dis BIG cardboard castle.

I don gotta castle.

Ennyway dey wetted me sit inna castle an I rilly wiked it! Cos I didn feel good, anna castle was nice an dark an privit an almos wike bein unnergwoun.

An Mr Bean hadda whole bafroom ob his own wiffa cool tile floor anna hidy-holes inna libbin room, anna whole bunch ob room jus for him if he wanned it.

Budda biggest fing, an Mr Bean haddit, an Toolip haddit an I hab it - issat we hab alla dis.

Becos we is lubbed. Becos we are houz rabbits.

An you know whut we do in hextchange? We lub hoominz.

Dat's it. We cuddle up wiff'em, an snuffle'em, an hab 'pinions an mak dem waf, an ged innu fings, bud mostwy we jus wub dem.

Wub issa onwy fing dat no madder how much you gib, you allus ged back more. Tawk aboudda renewable resources!

Bud you godda gib it in order to ged it. If you don gib, you don ged.

Bunnies is hextpert at gibbin wub. We just do it natchur'wy. It's Whut We Do. It's pawt ob Warren Wife. You godda wub ebberybunny so you kin take care obb'em, bud you ged back so much more den you gib.

Dat's how nobunny is ebber OnAlone inna Warren. You care for ebberybunny an ebberybunny cares for you. Bud you godda care furst.

An dat wuz Mr Bean an Toolip - dey cared furst an den dere mawmies cared. Dere mawmies came innu da shelters, an dey saw da bunnies, anna da speshul bunnies dat wuz meant for dem wooked up, anna mawmies culd see da wub dere, shinin in dere eyes. Anna mawmies taked dem home, an sure enuf, da bunnies lubbed dem, anna mawmies lubbed dem back annit jus wen on frum dere, inna big, fast-runnin cirkul.

Until tidday, whenna bunnies has gone Home toda Rainbow Bridge.

Budda Rainbow Bridge is pawt obba cirkul. Bunnies know dis; hoominz will figger it oud.

Gudbye, Mr Bean. Say "hullo" to ebberybunny, an tell dem we miss dem (speshulwy Hawthorn) an dat we will nebber fortyged dem.

Cos bememberin is pawt of wub, too.

Posted by Our Warren at 8:24 AM EST
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Saturday, 21 February 2004
Day Sixteen / Sekond Strand
Rabbits are bein 'Dopted. Yeah. Dis is gud noos. Bunnies moobin oudda Shelters an geddin dere own houzes; becomin houz rabbits, wike Alla Us Togedder at Our Warren.

Dis means dat fewer bunnies is OnAlone in shelters an more are becomin Companion Rabbits.

I wuz wucky when I wuz inna Shelter, cossa Shelter dat I wuz in wuzza all-bunny-alla-time shelter. It wuz just bunnies, kind obba berry big warren 'ecpt we wuz all waidin for noo forebber homz.

I wuz dere fora wong time bifore Maman anna Lad comed to find me. I wuz dere assa youngbun, when I wuzzn Top Bun, an jus lernin whut it meant to be safe, an dry an hab food alla time. Dat's cos my furst 'spirience wif hoominz wassn a good wun. I don bemember it too well, cos it wassa wong time ago, bud it wassn good, which is how I wound up wif Auntie Laura atta Souf Jerzy Rabbit ResQ.

You kin bisit Aunty Laura's Shelter onna WerldWideWeb at www.southjerseyrabbitrescue.org Just cut an paste dat address to your bwoswer an habba wook. Den send dem a contrybushun forda bunnies who is dere. Dat issa a reggystered, non-profit charitee and you kin take a tax deduckshun as well as help dees rabbits to hab food an witter an ebberfing dey need while dey are waidin for forebber homz.

Or else wook fora rabbit shelter in your area an help dem oud wif sum bolunteer time sum munny. Dey allus needs food an witter.

If you're a gardener, mebbe you kin getta deel on bunny pooties by da bag. Nuffin is bedder for gwowin beggytables or roses den bunny pooties!

Ennyways, I was dere atta rescue when Maman anna Lad comed in. Dey bwought dis udder rabbit wif dem. His name wuz "Heatherington" an he wassa Bwack an White Dutch. He telled me dat dey were wookin fora bondmate for him an dat dey had seed my pikchur onna WerldWideWeb. He sed he wassn't too innerrested in habbin a bondmate cos his friend, Hunny (yeah, da same Hunny dat is still heer) hadda bondmate inna bossy Rex babe named Maggie, bud if I wanned to come home wif him, it wuz hokay wif him, he wuldn't stand in my way or mak a fuss.

So I whiffed ebberybun oud. For wun fing, dey tawked funny. Waider on, I found oud dat dis wuz cos dey had comed frum Inkwand back to Noo Jerzey. I also smelled Hunny an Maggie an dey smelled happy. Heatherington smelled happy, too, an he wuz berry neat an hansum in his formal "tuxeedo" wook. Berry well-gwoomed. He sed Maman anna Lad handed out a wotta reg'lar food an good hay an wadder. He also sed dere wuz run-time an toys, an dat I wuld hab my own habbytat an ennyfing else dat I wanted cos Maman wuz soft inna hed an wuld do jus aboud ennyfing forda bunnies.

An so Maman an da Lad an Aunty Laura all sad onna floor wif me and I god cuddled. I also god Craisins. I had sum pwaytime wif Heatherington. I dida wotta binkies an footflicks an hedtosses, jus to act cute. After all, its nice to be rescued bud to habba houz ob your own, ebben if you hab a cuppula houzmates, means a bigger share obba tweats an tweats is wunna da major concerns in my wife.

An den, don'cha know Maman anna Lad stuck me inna carrier an den inna car an we drove aroun inna dark fora wong time an den I ended up heer.

Well, Maggie went toda Bridge in 2000, an so did Heatherington. Dey were preddy old for bunnies. Maman an Dadda (he had arribed by den an married Maman) anna Lad cwied cos dey left us. Poet came an axteedentally moobed in wif Hunny. Willow moobed in wif me for a widdle while an den she went toda Bridge, too, an den Hawthorn became my bondmate for yeers bifore godda horribul "cansur" an weft forda Bridge in August. I still miss him. He wassa bestest bondmate ennybunny culd hab.

Alla dees bunnies comed frum rescues. Most ob dem comed frum shelters cos dere furst homes didn wan dem ennymore. Dis is cos a wotta hoominz fink dat geddin a bunny for "Easter" issa gud idea.

Fink again.

Bunnies are not pwesents. You gib away "fings", nod libes. If you wanna 'dopt a bunny cos you wanna companion, dat's good. If you wanna 'dopt a bunny cos you habba bunny who wants a companion, dat's good, too - bud be prepared for dem nod to ged awong, too. Heatherington an I nebber made it assa pair, you'll nodice, bud it didn madder. I'm still heer at Our Warren, an I'm Top Bun, now. Bunnies are Companions for Wife, nod pwesents inna Easter baskit.

You wanna gibba bunny for Easter, gibba chocowate wun. Bedder still, you wanna do sumfing on Easter, den buy a bunny a widdle time - donate, eidder time or munny, to your nearest bunny-shelter.

Fanks. Frum Alla Us Togedder.

Posted by Our Warren at 8:54 AM EST
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Friday, 20 February 2004
Day Fifteen / Sekond Strand
An impawtant British engineering pwofessor atta weadin unnybercity has posduwated dat bunnies mite be smawter den hoominz.

Well it's aboud time wunna you caught a glimpse.

I mean wook attit: reeda noospapers! Ebbery udder day inna "The Sun" dere issa stowy aboud sum gurl named "Jordan", an whut's her claim to bein famoos? She's godda big fake teets. Dat's it. She don sing, she don dance, she don type buks, she don do ennyfing 'cept bobble her sillykone impwants. Whoa! Now dere is sumfing to be famoos aboud!

An wet's see, whut's inna "Daily Mirror"? Ohmigoodness, itsa stowy aboudda Armee guy anna Armee gurl dat hab bin habbin sex an blamin each udder for it. Ob course, she says he inbited her innu a closet an she went so he wuld stop axtin her. Yeah, dat maks sense. She sed she fought habbin sex wiff him wuld be a wife changin hextperience for her, an she wuz dissypointed. Well, hey, it habbins. He says he's nodda sextual peddytor. Dis is troo - he'ssa jerk. An hoominz wine da boddums ob innysint birdies' cages wif dis stuff!

Da "big stowy" inna "Washington Post" da wast few weeks was wedder dis "John Kerry" guy god innu bed wiffa unnamed chick. A wotta hoominz spent a wotta time an trubble twyin to find oud who dis chick wuz, where she is now an whut she finks. So, ummm, wet me axt sumfing: was she hextpectin a wife-alterin hextperience an wuz she dissypointed? Do we care?

Da "Philadelphia Inquirer" wants to know aboud "potholes". Dis is nice. Dadda wants to know aboud dem, too - wike when is sumbun gonna stop readin da noospaper at werk an go oud inna twucks an fix da stoopid fings. Maman issa 'fraid to dribe da widdle car cos she finks it's gonna fall inna pothole an nod be able to ged oud.

Da "Philadelphia Daily News" wants to know if sum big mouf baskit ball player shuld be twaded an if he is, will dere team ebber win anudder game. Gee, I dunno. Den again, da werld culd end tomorrow an den whut? Dey gonna pway baskit ball?

Sum on-wine noos sinykit axted me to click on who I fought was gonna win da 'Lekshun for Pressydent. Yeah, wike it's gonna be held tomorrow an I know who is runnin an what dey're promisin to do - an whut kinda sweater dey is wikewy to be wearin on enny gibbin okayshun.

The hard fack here is dat bunnies don werry. We eat. We sweep. We poop. We pway. We ged on wiffit. We don destwoy da pwanet. We don build wepuns ob mass destruckshun. We do fings "Alla Us Togedder" an take care ob our warrens. Yeah, we sqabble an hab pootie-wars, bud we ged ober it, an while we're habbin dem, it keeps us okkypied. We are not bored. Ebbery day, innits infinite variety, is innerrestin.

So, whut are you doin tidday?

Posted by Our Warren at 9:26 AM EST
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Thursday, 19 February 2004
Say Fourteen / Sekond Strand
Maman sed tidday issa "soft" day. Whut she means is datta sun is hidin behinda cwouds, anna wight oudside issn hard an bwilliant.

I am wearnin dat werds in Inkwish habba wotta meanings forda same werd. Dis is'speshully troo aroun heer.

Wet's take "soft" fora hextampul.

Dere is "soft" wike when da sun don shine an it is misty an rainey.

Den dere is "soft" as in when sumbun pets me an says dat my fur feels "soft an furry". Well, dat's a no-bwainer, issn't it? I'm a bunny. Troo, I'm not "pwush" wike Hunny's Maggie wuz, bud she wassa Rex Bunny an dey is known for not habbin guard hairs in dere coats, so dey is extry "soft" toda touch. Bud I am berry furry an nice to pet, speshully arounna ears.

Den dere is "soft" wike bog roll. I'm nod sure why dissis such a big fing wif hoominz, bud it must be cossits onna TeeBee alla time. "Squeezably Soft" bafroom tissue. Oh well. I guess you godda mak da stuff wook good sumhow.

Den dere is "soft" assin "soft inna hed" which is whut Hunny is. Means he's owd an nod too bwight an geds easily confoozled. Nice way to say he's daft bud nod onrey aboud it.

An wast ob all dere is "soft" wike when Dadda cawls me a "soft auld cow". I'm nod sure whut dis means. Furst ob all, I amma bunny, nodda moo-cow (aldoh I am bwack an white, I'm no Friesian! An contwawy toda popular belib, I don god no horns, eidder! Dees are ears, hokay?) Bud Dadda says I am "soft" an he don mean my fur, and I know he doessn mean my hed, an he sure don mean my tempermint.

He twied to 'splain it to Maman when dey was downnastairs da udder nite. "Soft" inna Zommerset dialect, which is whut Dadda speaks (Maman speaks Lancastrian which is inna Norf ob Inkwand; Dadda is frumma West Countree inna South.), means dat I am sort ob "silly, soppy, sentymental, an sweet."

Den I herd:

Maman: Smawt?

Dadda: We're tawkin aboud Belinda heer.

Maman: Oh.

Me: Whut?

Now I'm axtin you, does dat sound wike me? Just cos I wanna hab my ears petted an my butt scratched, do I sound attall "soft"?

I don fink so.

Which jus goes to show you datta Inkwish wanguage issn much gud. Dere are too menny werds dat sound da same bud dat mean too menny dif'frunt fings, most ob dem contradiktory to each udder.

No wonder you hoominz is fweequintly missunnerstandin each udder!

Annits no wunner dat I hab trubble spellin alla dees werds!

Posted by Our Warren at 9:31 AM EST
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Wednesday, 18 February 2004
Day Firteen / Sekond Strand
Sumbunny axt on PetBunny aboud "How Rabbits Smell Things". Dey wanted to know how bunnies reacted toda smell ob tweats, so dey are cunducktin a "mini-poll". Maman was gonna type in aboud us, bud I stopped her.

Dere is no rezon for her to go tellin aboud us onna WerldWideWeb. She'll mak us sound all cute an all, bud lemme tell you, whut happins in dis Warren issn "cute". It's pa-fetik.

We ged tweats ebbery nite. It usta be dat we goddem onwy wunct a week cos it was 'sposed to be "bedder for health". Whutebber. I soon stopped dat by da simpul expeedient ob pullin down ebberybunny's socks.

Now "socks" issa fings dat hoomins wear onna feets. Dey is toobs ob fabrick dat go ober da feets an pawt way uppa wegs. Dere is no point inn'em, cept to gib a bunny a handle for easy pullin. 'Parentwy, id is berry 'nnoyin to habba socks pulled downna weg toda ankul (pawt obba weg). So if you wanna gedda 'tenshun obba hoomin an you are wun foot offa gwound, gwab a mouf full obba TOP pawt obba sock an pull downward.

Id also maks hoomins berry werried whenna bunny seems to be goin uppa weg obba pants, too, ebben when you are jus goin fora sock. Must be sum kinda ebbolooshunary defensib response or sumfing, bud I hab found dat stickin my hed uppa inside ob Dadda's pantsweg makes him BERRY nerbous.

Dis is useful infortymashun, as you will see.

Oh, an sumtimes dere will be toes stickin oudda end ob socks. Nebber bodder aboud dem. In fack, don bodder aboudda udder end ob socks at all. Da feets ends ob socks are ushually nasty; ebben smellin dem kin gib you a hed-ake. Leeb dis end obba socks berry much awone.

Maman sumtimes wears socks, too, bud she wears wong skirts. Id is easy to stick a hed uppa skirt, more easy den uppa pants weg, bud she knows bunnies an don ged too boddered by me. She also don care much abbouda socks. So I hab found datta sock-pullin werks best onna male hoomins.

Ennyways, wike I sed, we was onwy geddin tweats wunct a week, cos Maman sed dat too menny tweats was not gud for us. I disagreed an as you know, its my 'pinion as Top Bun dat counts.

Besides, Hunny was on my side. Course, he's no gud at sock-pullin. Dis is becaws Hunny smells a tweat an geds all hextsited an stawts standin up on his back feets. Dis was hokay when he wassa youngbun cos he had Balance, bud now dat he's owd, he don hab dat enny more. So when he is standin on his back feets, he's swayin wike a twee inna high wind.

An Poet who is his bondmate, when she smells tweats, she just goes nuts, careenin aroun in widdle cirkuls. Dis is cos she is also owd an don got enny Sense. Bud awong wiffa udder Senses she has wost, she has also wost her Sense ob Direkshun, an so whenna tweats arrib an she wooses her mind, she stawts cirkulin aroun an bangs into Hunny wike a oudda-contwol bumper-car.

An wif him begin on his back wegs and swayin, well, dere's jus dis twain-weck ob bunnies tangled up in a furry, stwugglin heap onna floor.

Which skers Maman cos she finks Hunny's "fragile". Yeah, he's "fragile" allwite, inna bwain, da daft owd bugger.

So Maman an Dadda (who are totally takin in by dis pafetic act ob Rampant Senility) stand outsidda Bun Room Door wiffa tweats in dere hands, an dey count. "Wun...Too...Free!" An den dey fling aside da barrier an rush in an pound ober toda Seniors' Habbytat an feed dem furst!

An I kin see Hunny's in dere waffin at me as he's stuffin his cheeks full ob nanners, cos I godda wiad while he's habbin nanners bifore I do.

Which maks me mad. I mean, da NERB! Here I go pullin down socks, stickin my hed uppa pants' wegs, wookin atta ankuls an dey gedda tweats bifore me? An I'mma Top Bun aroun heer?

WIADAMINIT!!

Pafetik. Jus pafetik. Maks me sik jus finkin abouddit. Nebber mind. I godda go sulk.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:01 AM EST
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Tuesday, 17 February 2004
Day Twelbe / Sekond Strand
Toolip!! You weft forda Bridge an I didn gedda chance to say good-bye!! Toolip!!

Oh dis is berry sad!

Wun ob my friends, Pwince Toolip, weft forda Rainbow Bridge an I didn know aboud it till now. Dat makes fibe bunnies dis week alreddy dat has weft forda Bridge. An I didn ged to say good-bye.

At weast I god to say good-bye to SnoBall. So you see, dat was hokay. We, alla us, sed good-bye to SnoBall when we seed da Black Rabbit, so when he weft us he wassn't afraid. I'm hopin dat da Empwess Iby who libbed wiffa Pwince seed da Black Rabbit an hadda chance to say good-bye to Toolip, bud I didn, an I wuld hab wiked to. Toolip was my friend, an dat's whut friends do: we is dere to say "Good-bye" an "Don werry, I'll be along aftaward." Dat's whut we do. Itsa rabbit way.

Bud I wassn' dere. I was heer.

Da udder four bunnies dat went toda Bridge is bunnies dat I didn know. Not dat it madders. We are all Wun Big Warren, Alla Us Togedder.

Bud dey went wiffa Black Rabbit inna shelter.

For NO REASON.

At weast Toolip knew sumbunny lubbed him. Auntie Patricia lubbed Toolip. Da Empwess Iby lubbed Toolip. He hadda habbytat, an toys an pway-time an his own food crock an hay an wadder. Dees bunnies inna publik shelter was libbin on Hope an nuffin else in Santa Monica, Callyfornia. On 9th Stweet. Dey was waidin for sumbun to 'dopt dem, wike Maman 'dopted me. Dey was waidin to finda HOME.

Dere was two pairs ob dem, bonded for wife. Wun obb'em was named "Vanilla" an was bonded to "Chocolate". Well, some mean person broke uppa bond an "Vanilla" godda oberdose ob drugs an was killed. Don say "pud to sweep" cos dat makes it sound hokay an it's nod. Vanilla was killed. No reason. Just killed. Cos sum hoomin wanted to.

Dere was plenty ob room atta shelter. Dere was plenty ob food an wadder an hoominz to care for dem. Dey was forced to lib outside inna "hutch", nod inside where it was safe and dry alla time, bud at weast dey weren't totally homewess. Dey wuz waidin for HOMES. I know whut dat's wike. I waided free yeers fora HOME. Den I gotted wun. Dis wun. I habba HOME. Dey nebber hadda chance to ged to HOME. Dey was killed while dey waided.

So Vanilla an free udder bunnies atta Santa Monica Shelter won't habba chance fora HOME now. Dey is gone wiffa Black Rabbit toda Rainbow Bridge wif my friend, Toolip.

An you know whut? I hope dat Toolip will show dem a plwace atta Rainbow Bridge where dere issa HOME for ebberybunny. Toolip issa smawt bunny. He knows whutta HOME is. He knows whutta HOME wooks wike an smells wike cos he had wun wif Auntie Patricia. He'll be able to guide poor Vanilla anna free udder bunnies frumma Santa Monica Shelter onna way, an show dem a pwace dat's HOME where dere are toys, an habbytats, an your own food crock, hay bins an wadder; sumpwace where you kin sit inna sun an sweep an nobun bodders you, an where you kin come oud to pway an dere are safe pwaces to hextplore an binky aroun.

Toolip will know alla boud dis an he'll share ebberyfing he knows wiffa poor shelter buns who nebber hadda chance to know whut it wuz wike to habba hoomin ob dere own. Maman sed datta Santa Monica Shelter Bunnies issa bictims obba selfish hoomin bur-ack-ra-cee, where wun mean hoomin can kill bunnies an nobun else cares. He don hab to justify murder; he kin jus do it.

Jus cos you is born hoomin don mak you God. You can't gib life, so howcome you is so casual aboud takin it away frum udders?

Maman says dat hoomins are Stewards obba Earth, nodda rulers ob id. Dere is onwy wun King an id issn you. Maman issa Anglican, an dis is whut is teached inna Anglicans. Anglicans also belieb inna Bridge, Maman telled me, an dat she don fink dat dis werld is alla werld dat dere is. An dis is why I know dat Toolip is atta Bridge wif SnoBall an Hunny's Maggie an Smokey an my Hawthorn an Vanilla anna udder bunnies frum Santa Monica who didn ged to know whut habbin a HOME is alla boud.

Mebbe dose bunnies didn find a HOME here on dis pwanet. I'm beliebin dat Toolip will show dem da way to HOME ober da Rainbow Bridge.

An Toolip won let ennybunny down. Toolip is my friend. I will miss you, Toolip...

Posted by Our Warren at 9:10 AM EST
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Monday, 16 February 2004
Day Elebben / Sekond Strand
Hooboy. I am bak an whuttamess.

Maman an Dadda are bak an notta minit too soon. Dis wuz notta gud weekend!

I fink Maman an Dadda made oud hokay, cos I herd dem tawkin - lemme tell you, dere wassa wotta tawkin goin on yestidday when dey gots bak! - an dey are hokay an frum whut I kin gadder, dey hadda gud time onna bay-kay-shun. I fink Dadda eeted too much fud, bud I don see how dat is possy'ble... ennyways, dey were hokay wif each udder as dey allus are. Id wus when dey comed home datta pooties hit da fan.

See, Sistah was heer to watch us buns. Dat wassa pwan. She was gonna stay here wiffus an gib us our tweats an hay an fud an wadder an wet us oud for pwaytime. Since she gwowed up wiff'us, dis shuldn't hab bin too hard. Maman weft a wotta food an tweats for her, an her friends, too.

So hokay, dis wooked reasonable.

Bud Sistah bwoughtted her puppy wif her to stay. Maman had fortygetted aboudda puppy. Anna puppy issn't twained berry gud cos Sistah hasn't takin it toda Puppy School. 'Parentwy, puppies hasta go to school cos dere mawmies don't stay aroun to teach dem ennyfing or sumfing, or dey habba wot to wearn or dey is born stoopid (an I pewsonaly fink dis wast wun issa case).

So on Friday, ebberyfing was hokay. Den Satidday comed an Sistah went oud wiff'er friends toa "klub". Bud she forgetted us. Well, she jus forgetted ebberyfing. She walked outtada houz an dat wuz it, till Sunday when Maman an Dadda walked in an she waked up.

Bud while she'd bin oud, an den bin asweep, da puppy, bein inna noo houz, had went hextplorin an geddin innu fings an takin fings an, well, da puppy wrecked da houz. It emptied alla twash cans onna floor, an went pooties outsidea witter-pan, beat up onna catz anna catz beat up onit, an dere wassa ril mess.

An den Sistah told Maman dat she had taked care ob us.

Bud Missy had putted her toys inn'er food crock to twy an mak noise to bemind Sistah dat we wuz hongree, an I shubbed my wadder crock aroun an pud fibe pooties innit. Da poor Oldsters, Hunny an Poet jus was miserable an huddled inna corner an Mouse was bitin ebberyfing. Beebe was fumpin uppa storm an had pudda whole load ob hay inna widdle bid ob wadder in dere crock, an Luckie waz jus skeert.

An den Maman comed home.

We herdda frunt door, feetsteps an den...nuffin. Just siwence. Dat wuz Maman an Dadda's eyes takin inna room filled wif twash an dog poo. Den we herd Maman go fru toda kitchin an dere wuz more siwence an I figgered Maman wuz wookin at alla dishes inna sink an onna tabul. As Maman sed, after alla stuff she weft for eatin, ebben doh she weft dishes inna sink cos she was inna hurry when she weft, da weast sumbun culda dun wassa dishes.

Bud ennyways, den we heered Dadda onna stairs wif Maman behind him an for old pipple, dey can run preddy gud. An we gotted alla our stuff rite away - no waidin.

Bud Sistah swore up'in'down dat she'd gibbin us wadder an fud ebbery nite, incloodin Satidday. Dat we eated ebberyfing an dranked ebberyting. Bud Maman an Dadda know our habits an dey know dat we don leeb dry crocks an boddles an Missy eets a wot, bud she don leeb an emtee crock an no strands ob hay. She's not dat neet. No bunny issat neet. Onwy a hongree bunny is dat neet dat ebbery stwand ob hay is gone outta da habbytat an ebbery dwop ob wadder. An onwy a berry firsty bunny dwinks non-stop when dere crock is filled until an inch is gone.

So Maman is berry upset. Her babies (dat wuld be us) was negweckted. Her udder babies (dat wuld be da catz) is terrorized. She has bin wied to. Her houz is trashed. She spint wast nite sweepin an cweanin. Dadda is furious cossa alla'bove an cos he sed Maman's been dissa'speckted in her own home when all she did was be thoughtful.

Maman an Dadda aren't goin on enny more bay-kay-shuns dey sed. Not nebber. Dadda sed dere are gonna be sum changes heer aboud a wotta fings anna furst change is gonna be datta puppy issn't awowwed heer enny more till it goes to school. Bud dat's onwy da beginnin. He sed a wot aboud takin sponsibility, usin udder hoominz, blamin udder hoominz, gwowin up an jus bein po-wite. Da fing is, he sed, Maman teached bedder, dat she is no gud atta dissplin fing an too kind. I dunno aboud alla dat, bud she's our Maman an I fink she is kind an siwwy, bud she nebber fortygeds us, dat's for sure. I fink id's dat dat skin-kids fortyget whut dey knew when dey was widdle.

Harmin us, lyein, goin out toa "klub" an alla dat, makin udders wiad up for you, sweepin all day, not takin care ob responsibilities an takin adbantage ob udders has made Maman berry angwee an sad.

Da not habbin bay-kay-shuns ebber agin pawt is good. I jus wish Maman wassn't siddin downnastairs cwyin her heart out now cos she finks she's a horribul mawmie. She finks cos Dadda went to werk dat nowun knows she is cwyin, bud I know.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:02 AM EST
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Friday, 13 February 2004
Day Ten / Sekond Strand
Dere. I fixed my commint fing so dat now enny commints will show up rite away. Fanks, Mr Bean. I didn know how it werked till you told me I shuld habba wook attit. Hope you're feelin bedder tiday.

Dat's da fing, you godda always be wearnin. If a day goes by dat you don wearn sumfing, guess whut? Den you cant's wearn to spot a dissaster inna makin.

Ennyways, Maman sed I hab to take a bay-kay-shun frumma blog till Monday. Not cos I am goin ennywheres, I am not. Bud she an Dadda are goin away for da week-end an dat means dat she won't be heer to help me post my blog.

Our Warren's gonna be hangin oud. Yeah. 'Scuse my enthusyasim.

Sistah's comin ober to stay an bwingin her friends. So dere is gonna be moobies an chips an dip an veggies an dip an more moobies an sweepin wate an mac an cheese for dinner. We will hab wots ob run-time anna WOT ob smooshie time cos ebberybunny is gonna fink we're cute. Dey allus do.

Dat's da fing. Sistah an her friends habba tend-dancy to go all stoopid when dey see us. Not dat dey ARE stoopid, dey just GO dat way when dey see us. When dey aren't aroun bunnies, wun ob sistah's friends issa biznizz manager for a hotel anna nudder wun issa hex-ray teknishin fora hospiddle. Sistah, herself, issa offis manager fora hoomin V-E-T office. Dey are not stoopid gurls, bud wet dem see a bunny an dey go all stoopid.

Dey all come to da Bun Room door. Now, bemember, dey hab been here wots ob times... bud dey ged toda door an alla sudden, wun obbem screams, "AWWW, WOOK ATTA BUNNIES!"

Well, whut da heck did you fink you was gonna see in here...ollyfants?

An den da udder wun yells: "WOOK HOW MENNY OB DEM!"

Wookit, wady, dis issa Warren. Dere are eight ob us. Dere was nine wast time you was heer, bud SnoBall has gone to da Bridge so dere is axtchually wess ob us. Can't'chu count?

An den da big wun, "OH WOOKIT! HUNNY'S STILL HERE!"

Yeah, wike he had sum pwace to go. At his age.

An dey scream so woud, dat ebben Hunny who is as deaf assa post can heer dem, an since he's not used to hearin ennyfing, he panicks an scoots innu da witterbox, fallin ober Poet an scatterin pooties all ober.

So whut issit aboud us bunnies dat turns reasonable wimmins innu stoopid gurls?

An Sistah wonners why I gib'em da RBB. An ebben dat don werk too gud, cos I gib dem da RBB (da Royal Bunny Butt, you'll bemember) an inbaryably, Sistah skoops me up an holds me wif my butt inna air (yeah, dis is RILLY diggyfied!) an says, "Oh don't mind Belinda. She's such a bitch!"

An she wonners why I pee on'em.

Whut I wanna know is why dey giggle, squeel an run when I do.

An den why, if I'm sucha bitch, do I ged alla kissy-faces frumm'em? Most hoominz reelize dat geddin peed on dat way is NODDA complymint (id is iffa bunny sprays you, bud I'm NOT sprayin dis shower for ownership, NO WAY!) bud you'd fink dey'd be bwight enfu to figger dat oud, bud no. Dey fink I wanna pud my nose up dere wips fora "kiss"! An den dey wonner why dey god furs stuck to dere wipsticks.

I'm tellin you, dere is wun brain-cell in dis gwoup an its on time-share.

So it's gonna be a wong week-end, now I god Sistah anna pootie-war wif Mouse goin on. Pwobabwy won be time forda blog ennyways. Maman sed it is Balentines Day which is why she is takin Dadda away. I dunno, bud I'm nod gonna do my hed in ober it.

Assit is, I bedder go woad up on hay an tank up on wadder, cos I'm goin to need to be full. I kin see dis comin an it's god "dissaster" typed all ober it.

Posted by Our Warren at 7:10 AM EST
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Thursday, 12 February 2004
Day Nine / Sekond Strand
YO!

BEEBE BUNNY HEER!

CloverBun: Beebe?

Beebe: Over here, SweetWips.

CloverBun: Don't "SweetWips" me. Whut'cha doin?

Beebe: Belinda is nappin. So I thot I'd see whut dis blog fing was alla'bout.

YO!

CloverBun: It's not tawkin bak.

Beebe: Yeah. You'd fink it wuld do sumfin, bud id dossin.

CloverBun: Iss'er ennybunny oud'dere?

Beebe: Don smeer da winder. Belinda sed dere alla dees peeple oud onna WerldWideWeb. If dere oud'dere, dey ain't tawkin. Mebbe dey don know it's me.

YO! WAKE UP! ENNYBUN GOD'DERE EARS ON?

CloverBun: Mebbe dey don care it's you. Whut'ssat 'sposed t'mean?

Beebe: Means is ennybunny wistenin. Howkin sumbun nod care its me?

CloverBun: Well, I mean, who is you?

Beebe: I am me.

CloverBun: An dat's nice. I am gwad you is you bud... whut are you typin now?

WE GOT US A CONBOY!!! YO!

CloverBun: Whut-da-hek does 'dat' meen?

Beebe: I herd dat on wunna dose fings cawed a 'moobie' dat Dadda caws a 'flim'. Ebber nodice dat he twaks funny?

CloverBun: You tawk funny. Always hollerin' oud "YO".

Beebe: It'sa guy fing. Saw dat inna film, too.

CloverBun: So whut'ssa 'film', ennyway? Dat's when you go wif Sistah downnastairs...

Beebe: Yeah, an sid onna wong soft fing an eet stuff an wook atta wightbox inna wibbin woom. Dere are pikchurs an sounds an sumtimes da floor shakes, all inna wightbox. Mostwy I eet an sid on Sistah's wap. She sez I'mma 'gud boy' an her fav'rit bunny.

YO! CAN ENNYBUNNY TELL ME IF YOU KIN HEER DIS!

CloverBun: So where dossa "YO" come innu it?

Beebe: Just sumfing guys keet sayin. I told ya, id's a guy fing.

CloverBun: I don fink dere's ennybunner indere.

Beebe: Wunder why Belinda finks dis fing is so gweat?

CloverBun: Cos mebbe dis issa gurl fing. Belinda is berry pwogwessib. She finks we needa 'innerackt'. I fink I needa eet. Did Maman bwing inna hay?

Beebe: Maman hassa bad hed. Dadda bwinged inna hay. I bited him.

YO! ALLA YOUSE BUNS OUDDERE! YO!

CloverBun: You godda stop doin dat.

Beebe: Nah. It'ssa guy fing.

CloverBun: Wass'atta door onna BigWhiteBoxInnaKitchin?

Beebe: Yeah. Cummon, wet's go see if she's geddin sumfing oud. Den we kin come bak an see if ennybunny typed bak.

CloverBun: Know whut I fink?

Beebe: Whut? I'm gonna gibbit wun wast twy. Whuddaya fink, SugerWips?

CloverBun: I fink dis whole WerldWideWeb fing is bastwy obber-rated. An don caw me "SugarWips".

Beebe: Whutebber. Ennyway, id pays t'be persistant.

CloverBun: Whut's 'persistint'? An whut's it pay?

Beebe: Dunno. Anudder guy fing.

CloverBun: Yeah, well, you go on bein a guy. I'm gonna go be da furst gurl onna wettuce-wine inna kitchin. At weast I know whut I'm gonna ged outta it.

YO! IF YOU IS OUD DERE, WISSEN UP! DIS IS BEEBE BUNNY! HABBA NICE DAY!

Posted by Our Warren at 11:26 AM EST
Wednesday, 11 February 2004
Day Eight / Sekond Strand
Maman wikes musik so she hassa fing cawed a "radio" on inna houz while she issa wake. Most obba time, dis fing pways musik, bud ebbery now an den, dis hoomin comes on an tawks aboudda "noos".

So I'm geddin to hear aboud dis "Marfa Stewart" hoomin who seems to be sayin a wotta stuff to a wotta guys inna fing cawed a "trial".

So I didn know who dis Marfa Stewart wuz, bud I figgered I'd find out ebenchually, cos iffits onna "noos" sumbun aroun here will tawk aboud an all I godda do is keep my ears opin. When your ears areda same size as mine, dat's preddy easy. An sure enuf, Sistah comes in an stawts talkin aboudda Marfa Stewart perzon an dis is whut I finded oud.

'Parentwy, dis Marfa Stewart issa Houz Perzon. She is 'sposed to be a Perzon ob Taste, aldoh, she don seem to know aboud oats, or Craisins or ennyfing dat's gud. How can sumbun be a perzon ob taste an not know whut's gud?

It seems, frum whut Sistah said, datta Marfa Stewart perzon "sets da tabul". Well, dat's nice. Bud whut'ssa good ob settin a tabul? Ebberybunny knows datta tabul is justa wandin pad, for wun fing, an ennyfing dat you set onna tabul is wikely to ged knocked off when a bunny wands onnit.

Besides, da onwy gud fing to set onna tabul wuld be food, an since da bunny is gonna gedda food ennyways, why not just pudda food wun foot offa floor whereda bunny can ged attit easily insted ob makin a bunny hab to climb up onna tabul? Why set it onna tabul inna furst pwace?

See, datsa pwoblem rite inna beginnin. Dere is no point in "settin a tabul", unwess you're settin it inna pwace where id is conbenient fora bunny to ged to it.

An den dere issa "taste" fing. As I sed, dis Marfa Stewart perzon is 'sposed to hab it, bud none obba fings Sistah menshuned she sed is gud, sounded gud at all. In fack, most obb'em sounded preddy bad.

Food shuld be abailable when you wan it. Wike in your bowl. When you is hungree, you go ober toda bowl an dere id is. You eat id. Whutsa point ob makin an issue out obbit? Eat an ged on wif fings.

Dere issa wot to do inna day. Dere are a wotta fings goin on. Wots ob fings need finkin aboud - an here's dis Marfa Stewart perzon werryin aboud howda tabul is settin an how sumbun slammed da carwots onna bowl. Are dey preddy? Wike, who cares? Whut I wanna know is if dere is wots. If dere is wots, den we're gud to go. If dere are not wots, den whut's da pwoblem sif Maman?

I kin see da point ob habin ebberybun eatin atta same time so you kin tawk togedder, bud itsa tawkin togedder dat is impawtant, not da eatin or where da tabul is set or iffa food is preddy. You're gonna eat cos you hab to. Werryin too much aboud how whut you're eatin wooks can't be gud. Werrin aboud whut udderbunnies fink ob you when dey see where da tabul is settin seems just pwain odd.

Wand onna tabul, eatta food dat's dere an ged on wiffa 'pawtant stuff. Wike Maman sed datta hoominz inna country cawed "Hatee" are killin each udder cossa Top Bun dere issn doin his job. Killin is always wrong. A Top Bun hassa dooty to see da ebbery bun inna Warren is hokay, ebberyday. You don do dat, you ged chased oud. Most ob us Top Buns are smawt enuf to know dat if ebberybun issn't at weast sorta happy, we aren't gonna be happy. Atta berry weast, if we don do our job, sumbun is gonna stawt a pootie war an its gonna stink uppa pwace.

Wife issn't all take. A wot obbit is gib. I gib to dis bun, dis bun gibs to dat bun, dat bun gibs to anudder bun an anudder bun gibs to me. It issa cirkul. Maman sed dat you'll notice dat inna beginnin ob fings dere wassa wotta gibbin goin on cawed "Creatshun". I fink we hab to keep dat goin.

Which beminds me, Maman gibbed us hay a widdle while ago, an it tastes preddy gud. Missy is alweddy habbin hers an so is Wuckie-bun an I godda bulk up forda pootie wall I godda build tonite to conbince Mouse dat I am da Top Bun here atta Our Warren. Now if I kin just do it bifore Maman geds outta pootie-sucker...

Posted by Our Warren at 10:03 AM EST
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Tuesday, 10 February 2004
Day Sebben / Sekond Strand
Well, Maman is still writin Fank You notes for alla sympathy cawds an notes dat is here for SnoBall. Don seem da same not habbin him heer. I wook up, 'spektin to see him wookin at me an he's not dere wookin, budda fing is, I kin feel him wookin frum sumpwace else.

So dat's hokay den.

Cos rite now, I gotta pootie war on my hands an belieb me, dis issn' easy.

I amma Top Bun in Our Warren. Dere is no arglumint obber dis, its just how id is. Dere is allus a Top Bun inna Warren an I'm It.

So when Maman taked in Mouse an Wuckie-Bun, I was all welcomin an interryested in dem an all, cos dat's how I am. So don'cha know dat Mouse wassa Top Bun in his houz. So, I'm wike, "Well, dat's nice. Welcome to Our Warren, I'm Belinda, Top Bun heer."

An all heck breks loos.

He peed on me.

Den when Hunny comed obber to take a wook, Mouse peed on Hunny an on Poet cos she was standin behind Hunny. Den Missy comed toda frunt ob her habbytat an Mouse wooked at her an sed he wassa Top Bun an peed on Missy an all ober her pooty-box, which made it Unfit for her to step in. An den he peed all ober poor Wuckie-Bunny just to proob dat she was his bunny frum bifore.

Now dat's just NOT powite.

So I told Beebe whut happened, cos he was ober dere in his habbytat wif Clober, an he heered whut was happinin, bud he's short an culdn't see. So while Missy was sputterin away, I told Beeb 'zactly whut was goin on.

So when Beeb got his run-time, he raced ober to Mouse's pwace, an peed on Mouse.

So Maman hadda wotta rinsin ob bunnies to do cos we was all kinda stinky frum dis widdle opinin salvo. An dere wassa wotta damp bunnies an Maman hadda turn uppa heet so we didn ged cowd an Dadda was compwainin dat it was hot inna houz an taked off his shirt. I didn wook cos hoominz don god no fur an are all pink...

Howebber, da nextest time I hadda run-time, I went ober to Mouse's an weft a warge puddle. I'mma wady an I don spray nobunny, bud ged cwose enuf an I'll soak you a gud wun. Mouse stayed onna udder side obba habbytat an gwared at me, so I weft him a pile ob pooties, too, rite inna middle obba puddle. Den I gots my feet wet an gibbed him gud few footflicks to show him dat I ment biznizz.

Well, Maman wooked in an she went ballistic.

Well I didn know dere was pee onna wall, did I? An I didn know she was gonna wash Mouse, eidder. AN she godda paper kitchen roll an wiped uppa puddle anna pooties, so dere went alla my werk, innu da rubbish bin, which is kind obba wet-down becos half obba pooty war is weabin it dere so it gets stinkier wif age. Wif Maman cweanin it up, it don hab time to age ad all.

So Maman sed she wassn habbin no pooty war. Jus wike dat - wike she had sumfing to say aboud it. So she godda sheet an cobbered Mouse's habbytat on free sides so he couldn't see us an we couldn't see him. Bud id issn site dat 'fecks a bunny. Mebbe I culdn't see him, bud I culd smell him, an he was busy smellin wike he was still finkin he wassa Top Bun.

So in order to make him fink udderwise, when I god my run-time, while Maman was inna bafroom fillin uppa wadder crocks, I stawted Da Wall. Now dis issa Basik Stwadegdy: you godda stawt a wall ob pooties an encirkle da udder guy bifore he encirkles you. First wall done, wins.

Dis is NOT for da faint ob heart. Oncet you stwat a Pooty Wall, you gots to finish it. An it's godda be a gud wun, cos your reppytashun is restin on dis. Dis is oud in pubwik for ebberybun to see. Ids a race against time, an it's a test ob your indurance, your pwanin, your skill - ebberyfing. An neatness kounts.

So I stawted on wun side where da sheet wuz. You godda werk fast, bud you godda be akurate, too. I waid downna furst wine ob pooties, den pud sekond wine behind dem. You godda bekareful, cos dey roll when da floor is unebben wike dis wun.

Inna meantime, I kin hear Maman hummin to herself inna bafrum. Insidea habbytat, Mouse kin heer whut I'm doin an more impawtantwy, he kin smell it, so he's racin back an forth, goin nuts. Dat's da furst mistake obba ammychur - dey don ged rite to werk counter-actin you, bud go racin back an forth, shoutin how dere gonna beat your butt. Id's much more worrysum if dey stawt layin pooties when you is.

Bud Mouse issn' a total idiot. Where sum obba woudmouf buns is all tackshun an no ackshun, he stopped runnin back an forth an got down to biznizz an stawted buildin pooty-piles ob his own. I culd smell dem.

So I kept atta wall. Now Missy was watchin. She's a youngbun an hassn't seen a reel pootywar, so I wanted her to pay close 'tenshun. Sumday, she'll maybe habba Warren ob her own an she needs to know how to do dis. When I god aroun to Hunny's side ob fings, he was alweady watchin. Ob course, at his age, he's been inna wotta pooty-wars an he's wun most obb'em. Mostwy cos Maggie, his Rexy Bond-mate who weft forda Rainbow Bridge bifore Poet, hadda teach him, bud Hunny's a good wearner. He beminded me aboud turnin a gud corner wiffa nice pile dere onna points.

Bud Mouse hadda shorter distance to wall in cos he was inside da habbytat an I was outside. I mean, I godda put down a wall ob pooties dat is free feet wong, den two foots wong, den free feets, den two more foots. Dat's a total ob a ten foot wall ob pooties. An it can't be a single wine obb'em eidder, or sumfing wid gaps innit: we're tawkin *wall* here. Kin you squeeze dat oud on command?

Didn't fink so. Maks your eyes wadder, just finkin aboud it, don it?

Yeah, well, dat's whut it takes to be Top Bun.

So I wuz just roundin da corner to da opin side ob Mouse's habbytat when Maman comed in wiffa wadder crocks.

Geez.

Dat woman issa nut. She stwats screemin her hed off for Dadda.

"Wook at Belinda! Wook at dis!"

So I wook up atter wike, Yeah, well, I'm nod done. Ged'outta'daway. An den she scoops me up an puds me back inside my own habbytat an shuts da door! An DEN she getsa pooty-sucker oud, pwugs id in, an turns id on - an puts da hose down onna floor an dere goes my wall! Rite uppa hose!

Da onwy gud fing she dun was to poke da hose innu Mouse's habbytat an suk up his wall, too. Yeah, an Mouse was wike, "HEY, WADY!?!" Bud it was too wate. His wall was gone, too.

We just culdn't belieb it. Bof walls. Alla dat werk. Just wike dat. Suk - Zap - Gone. Id wassa'nuf to bwing tears to da eyes obba goat. Mouse sed waider on dat he just doesn't ged it. An I told him, nidder do I. It's just Maman. She's a nice wady, an she has gweat tweats, bud she don unnerstand pooty wars. An we agreed dat wassa shame, cos we was rilly doin well. Ebbin Hunny fought we wuz.

So dis mornin, we're back to da beginnin.

Bud I'm eatin a WOT ob hay. I godda lotta werk to do waider on.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:52 AM EST
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Saturday, 7 February 2004
Day Six Add-On / Sekond Strand
Pwease say a prayer an wite a candle to help SnoBall ExFoster find his way acrosst da Rainbow Bridge.

Da Black Rabbit came for him just afta Dadda weft for werk. Me an Hunny, an Missy an Beebe, we seen da Black Rabbit come, an we seen SnoBall go wif him bud it wassn skerry. Bunnies know da Black Rabbit an why he comes an where he goes. We are not afraid.

We tried to call Maman, bud she didn heer us, or if she did heer us, she didn unnerstand why we wuz callin.

So SnoBall ExFoster went wiffa Black Rabbit. It's nodda werst fing inna werld.

Da Rainbow Bridge issa pwace dat winks dis werld to da Meadow inna next. You know how its said "Death is butta doorway"? Well, its a Bridge. An we're at dis end, an SnoBall is goin ober to da udder side ob it now.

An he's gonna waid dere forda rest ob us to catch up.

Bud he wuld wike a candle to shed a widdle wight, cos ids a widdle bit dark inna middle obba Bridge, where da dark frum dis werld issn't quite reached by da Wight from da Meadow. So if we wight a candle for him Here, it will shine on his road to Dere an wet him know dat we is all holdin him in our hearts as he cwosses ober frum wun pwace to anudder.

An I'm sure he'll stop inna middle obba Bridge, between Here an Dere, an he'll wean ober da side where he kin see Da Meadow waidin ober Dere anna Our Warren ober Here, an he'll see Maman an Dadda cwyin, an I'm preddy sure dat he'll wean ober an wabe to dem cos SnoBall knows wike we all do dat Maman an Dadda lub us berry much an dat it is hard for dem to wet us go when it is Time. Maman an Dadda are cwyin now an nobunny wants dem to cwy. Yes, SnoBall will miss us, bud we will miss him more. Maman an Dadda cwy cos dey is here; SnoBall is onwy sad becos dey are sad.

So if you wook up tonite innu da sky an you see a star dat is winkin 'speshually bwight, dat will be SnoBall ExFoster wabin, tellin us dat he's on his way to da Meadow an dat he is not sad. He's tellin Maman an Dadda not to cwy, dat he lubs dem an dat he will see dem soon an dat ebberyfing's hokay now cos he kin see Hawthorn an Maggie an alla udder bunnies an dawgs an kitties an hoomins dat are alreddy Dere, an he kin see Maman an Dadda an us, an he knows dat ebberybun is gonna be allrite.

So wite a candle an wook up toda stars an bemember SnoBall ExFoster on his way acrosst da Bridge.

An be ob good cheer, becos dere issa a Lub Beyond All Lubs, anna Light Dat Shines Fru Da Darkness dat has obercome da Werld.

Posted by Our Warren at 11:46 AM EST
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Day Six / Sekond Strand
Hey Spooky! Yeah, I know, geddin gud buks is hard. Maman pudda fence arounda buk-shelbs an it wooks nice (kinda gibs da libbin room a gardenish wook) bud it keeps me frum selectin my choice ob buks to ged innu. An cos Dadda is buildin noo buk-shelbes, dere aren't so menny buks lyin aroun in piles enny more, eidder. Check da coffee tabul anna end tabuls - buks ushally ged weft dere dat nobunny is actibwy reedin. Wif Maman nod moobin so gud, I'm findin dem unner da settee where dey ged kicked sumtimes, too.

Dadda went to werk dis mornin, berry earwy when it wuz still nite. He sed it wuz so he could ged home before da day was ober. He issa mornin person, Maman sed. I wet dem know dat I didn wike it. I an Missy an den Mouse an Hunny felt us an so he , too. So Maman came innu da Bun Room to see whut wassa madder an I jus turned aroun an showed her my butt. After all, I don wike alla wights bein turned on reel early wike dis an alla catz goin by an nobun comin in to bwing us food or ennyfing. Maman bwinged us hay waider, bud still, you know, when you hab your rooteen an den sumbun goes an screws it up, you don need dat onna Satdidday mornin.

An Dadda was unhappy boud it, too. Seems dere are hoominz at his werk dat just don ged it. I dunno if dey are stoopid or whut, bud Dadda issa Engineer. He gods a big paper frumma big Unnybirsidy in Inkwand an ebberyfing dat sez so, budda hoominz at dis compiny don know da balue ob habbin REEL engineers. Dey don seem to gedda idea dat Dadda's eddykashun means dat he rilly knows stuff datta rest obbem onwy guess at. Dey seem to fink dat dey know MORE stuff din him ebben doh most obbem hab trubble readin cereal boxes wifoud moobin dere wips. Dadda knows 'puters, an a wotta dem fink dey know 'puters cos dey habba kount atta AO-hell an know how to type wif wun finger. I don gotta posable thumbs, bud I kin type, too. Dey type wif wun finger an fink datta Help Desk means sum guys is gonna come ober dere houz an plug ebberyfing in for dem.

Dey also fink I am stoopid. Or not reel. Or not worf habbin.

Kin you belieb dat?

Not worf habbin. Maks me mad enuf dat I culd jus pee on dem.

Cos I amma bunny, I am not worf habbin. Dey don ebben know me, bud dey "know" I am not worf habbin cos I amma bunny. How stoopid issat?

I didn fink badwy ob dem bifore. In fack, I didn fink ob dem at all. Bud now dat I herd dat, I don wike dem.

So you know whut? Maman resqued a collie dawg awhile ago anna collie dawg is named Zachary-Marcus. He issa preddy big dawg fora Border Collie - kinda tall an leggy. He's whut's called a "Bloo Merle", whutebber dat is, an he's god Ice Bloo Eyes. Dr. Batt's, his V-E-T, calls dem "White Eyes". Zachary-Marcus is berry intellygint fora dawg, an he's been to school, just wike Dadda, so he's berry well eddykated. One werd frum Maman, an he does 'zactly whut she tells him. Dey wook berry 'pressib, him an Maman togedder - dis tall, weggy dawg wiffa ice bloo stare anna widdle wimmin wiffa green mac an boots.

So wun day, Maman taked Zachary-Marcus wif her to pick up Dadda frum werk. An Zachary-Marcus sat inna back seat obba car, sittin up reel straight on his side, wike he does (cos he is twained), an when dey god toda pwace where Dadda werks, Maman snapped da weash on Zachary-Marcus an god him oudda car an stood wif him, waitin for Dadda.

An Maman told Zachary-Marcus to "Sit" an he did, reel tall, just by her knee. An Maman sed, "Watch Dadda" an Zachary-Marcus stawted watchin ebberybunny who was dere wif his ice-cowd bloo eyes, not moobin, just his eyes glancin round reel quick unner his thick, black eyebrows. An Zachary-Marcus has dat collie-dawg stare dat kin pin sumbun toda gwound lika bug, an he was usin dat for all he was worf, his bloo eyes dartin an his body stayin reel still an tense beside Maman.

An alla hoominz dere just fwoze solid. Zachary-Marcus sed it wassa funniest fing. Dey froze rite toda groun, an den twied to sidle aroun behin eachudder, twyin to ged away frum his stare, cos dey were 'fraid ob him. Dey sed he wassa "Debil Dawg" wif his white eyes, anna "Ghost Dawg" cossa da way dat he stared, an dey were berry unsure ob Maman, cos she had contwol obba Zachary-Marcus wif just wun or two quiet werds.

An da stoopid perzon dat had sed dat I was nod "worf habbin" tried to act all tough, an sed datta dawg wassn't dang'rus. An Maman sed, reel quiet-wike, "No, he issn. He's 'fraid ob nuthin budda Belinda Bunny. An she's afraid ob nuthin adall." An Maman wooked sharp atta man, an Zachary-Marcus wooked at'tim an dat perzon went away inna hurry.

An Dadda sed datta perzon hasn't menshuned me agin, an he don mak remawks aboud bunnies no more, bud Maman still don wike him, an Zachary-Marcus don wike him eidder. Zachary-Marcus sed dat perzon stinks ob "insincere" an dawgs are good at knowin dat sorta stuff.

Bud dat perzon still issa trubble-maker who messed up my Dadda's job an it's cossa him dat my Dadda is inna werk dis mornin, an why we all hadda fest bifore it wuz lite. Jus cos ob dis wun perzon, who decided dat a bunny wassn worf nuthin when dey didn ebben know me.

Now how stoopid issat?

Posted by Our Warren at 8:37 AM EST
Friday, 6 February 2004
Day Five / Sekond Strand
I godda note frum my friend, SA's, mawmie. You kin read it, too cos I posted it inna "Comments". When da "comments" fingie pops up when I go to type inna blog, I'm allus 'prised, cos I fortyged dat udderbuns is readin dis fing. I sorta fink sumtimes I'm just siddin here, tawkin to myself or finkin outwoud cos it's good to habba fink outwoud, as wong as nobunny stoopid comes awong an heers you sayin sumfing you'd radder not hab dem heer. Den again, I hab met sum berry interestin folks by sayin sum rilly stoopid fings...

Ennyways, Maman is still on aboud his'twy. Now dey hab gone an dug up sum ded Saxon king in Inkwand who issn't in his grabe bud dey found alla his stuff. Just why he ain't dere when alla his stuff is issn 'zactly pwain to me at all, bud I fink it hasta do wif his'twy. Mebbe Maman will buy a buk onnit an bwing it home for me. Den again, don bet onnit, cos if she does buy it, I pwobably won't be awoud neer it unwess I sneak. Maman sed I don 'prishiate gud buks.

Den again, Maman issn't rilly all dat innerested in Saxon kings who aren't dere, or ebben if dey are dere, bud it's da princyple obba fing, dat dey was diggin an found sumfing, I fink, dat has her readin da repawts onna 'puter. She was innerested inna "earwy Christian artyfacks" she says - "two foil crosses that mite hab adorned da buril cloths" (whutebber dat means), an she wuz spekulatin, she sed, dat in form dey will probilly be too wait inna period to be ob enny innerest to her, bud dat dey are still innerestin.

"Nod ob enny innerest, bud innerestin" - I wike dat.

Id jus goes to show you dat akademik hoominz are nutz.

Maman's Daddy wassa'nudder akademik, so I fink its wike a disease dat hoominz catch frum each udder. Her Daddy went toda Rainbow Bridge, bud he wiked me. He didn know whut to do wif me, cos he had nebber seed bunnies inna houz bifore, bud I usta walk all ober him an sniff him an he petted me. Inna pwace called a "kemistry wab" where he teached dey hadda big white bunny dat hadda 'scaped frum sumpwace esle dat he wet wib in dere anna bunny wassa "watch bunny" dat kept udder hoominz outta wab in hextchange for a nice bed an salads. Nice werk when you can ged it, I guess. Maman's Daddy sed datta hoominz frum where da big white bunny had 'scaped frum came to ged it back an he told dem to ged oud, datta bunny was stayin where id was an "dey knew whut dey culd go do wif demselbes". So da bunny stayed inna "kemistry wab" an hadda houz dere an ebberyfing. It wassa wong time bifore Maman, I fink.

Ennyway, Maman's Daddy sed dat "akademiks reason da same way datta rare "Okafadokal Bird" flies - in ebber decreasing cirkles at ebber increasing speeds, until dey disappear up dere own butt, showering dere baffled pursuers wif fedders, dust and pooties.

An dat wuld preddy much hextplain sum ob Maman's Adbenchurs in Reasoning. Id also goes a wong way to hextplainin why dere are so dang menny buks aroun dis pwace an why so menny obbem are allus bein takin away frum me.

If I heer, "Oi! Belinda! I'm readin dat!" Wun more time, I fink I'm gonna pount.

Well, I do pount ebbery time I heer dat. I run unner sumfing an peer oud, an waid for Maman or Dadda to come an wook for me. An when dey do, I quick turn my back on'em for yellin at me. An den I sulk.

Don yell atta bunny.

An don leeb outta stoopid buks if you don wan me wookin at'tem. I wike buks, too, jus not inna same way as ebberybunny else. I don fink dat dey make for "gud conbersashun" cos id issn't powite to tawk wif your mouf full. Bud I do dig buks - whenebber I gedda chance. Dey are wotsa ennertainment onna rainey, borin day. Hard-cobbers are gud for tossin oncet you hab godden da pages oud. Tellyphone buks are always innerestin cos dey shred well. 'Spensib buks are made wif reel cotton - you kin taste dat quality obba pages.

So you see, I DO 'prishyate good buks.

Just nod da same way as hoomins do. But wike Maman keeps sayin, "Id takes all kinds ta mak a werld".

Posted by Our Warren at 8:36 AM EST
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Wednesday, 4 February 2004
Day Four / Sekond Strand
Well, Maman's all hextcited. She readed a repowt frum sumpwace called da Unnybirsity ob Bellfast dat sed tree-ring data suggests dat Inkwand unnerwent a climactic shift durin da sixth century, thus balleydatin a bunch ob entries in sum buk by a guy named Gildas dat were preebiouswy inhixplikable unwess dey wuz meta-for-ik-al, an lendin a faktual basis toa bunch ob wegends abouda bunch ob nights wanderin obera "wastewand" searchin fora "Grail". In udder werds, sumfing dat onwy might hab happened a wong time ago now wooks wike it possibwy hab happened a wong time ago, all onna'count obba tree-rings dat gib sum kinda proof dat whut sum guy wrote culd be troo.

Well, dat's nice.

I told you dat dis blog culd be aboud ennyfing.

In sum ways, Maman geds hexcited aboud stuff dat takes da rest ob us awhile to figger oud. An den once we figger it oud, it takes anudder while to figger whut's so 'citin aboud it inna furst pwace.

She comes inna Bun Room to tell us aboud it cos we bunnies manage to wook innerested while she's tawkin. Habbin not to menny facial muscles issa bwessin when you're dealin wif Maman cos it makes it easy to keep frum waffin. You jus kin sit dere an wook wise when she stawts tellin you dis stuff. Hoominz, doh, can't help demselbs. Dey wisten to her fora few minutes an suddewy burst oud waffin or else just ged dis gwazed wook onn'er faces an change da subjek. Budda bunnies kin sit dere an wisten an mebbe fall asleep wiffa eyes opin or jus day dreem, an she kin tawk all she needs to wiffoud habbin her feelins hurt.

Ob course Dadda wistens to her when she goes onna'boud dis stuff wike twee-rings an his'twy. It's wike how Poet wistens to Hunny bumblin aroun alla day wong an don go nutz. Or how Clober wistens to Beebe tellin her dat he issa gweatest anna biggest bunny inna werld when she kin see dat he's onwy a hot-tot wiffa attytude. I usta wisten to Hawthorn tawk aboud bein a CEO an ekonomikal stuff, an cornerin da pootie mawket anna Wall Stweet an I'll tell you now dat I didn unnerstan half obbit, bud id didn madder. It made him happy to tawk aboud it an I didn mind wistenin as wong as I culd sit inna loaf position wif my ears back an wook wise.

I fink dat's why Maman tawks a wot to Hunny. He's mainwy deaf cos he is owd, bud he sits on her wap an puds his hed down an doessen moob while she's tawkin aboud his'twy. An she pets him an he just stays dere an goes wimp. She takes dis fur innerest an keeps tawkin. Whut da owd bugger is rilly doin is fallin asweep, bud she don know dat cos she's all fokussed in on tellin him his'twy.

Axtually, I fink her fokussin on his'twy issa way ob geddin outta her werld, which geds preddy compwykated, innu anudder werld dat she knows alla'boud. Rite now, she is habbin pwoblems wif sum stuff aboud dealin wif her Muver, an her Kids, an stuff issn't goin good. I kin tell dat when she turns off our wight at nite. She stands atta door an says a bwessin ober us. She axts God to pwease watch ober us. She stands dere inna dawk hallway in her nitegown an whispers dees owd-soundin werds, an maks a moobment wif her hand. You kin feel dat she is afraid an sad. She doessn't do it ebbery nite, onwy when she is unsettled.

You see, Maman wooks wike wun fing onna outside an she is sumfing else onna inside. Udder hoominz see whut she is twained to be, an we know whut she is. It's wike hoominz see bunnies assa Easter Bunny or as Peder Cottintail. An we aren't. We are whut we are an until you lib wif us, you don know us as we rilly are. Dat's why you ged dees hoominz who are s'spised to heer dat we use pootie-trays an dat we don always eat carrots. It's cos dey don know us. Dey know whut dey "fink" are us, but whut dey fink is onwy ackchually dere own immagynashun. Whut we are rilly is sumfing esle again.

It's wike Maman's his'twy. 'Parentwy, hoominz habba image obba sixth century an dis Gildas guy an Inkwand assa bunch ob nights questin aroun on horzes, clankin in armor, wabin swords at each udder an writin romantik stuff aboud rescuin maidens unner red starz blazin accrost grey wastewands. An dat'ssa image inna immaggynashun. Da reel deel seems to be dat it wuz berry cowd an dere wuzza wastewand in Inkwand, an mebbe a red star dat wuzza comet dat hextploded oberhed anna climate changed, so da twees didn't grow alwong wiffa udder cwops. So hoomins hadda hard time stayin alibe. An becos it wassa bad time for dem, dey towd stories aboud it, anna stowies god changed ober da yeers, so datta his'twy god messed up an confoozled. So dat now, hoominz fink wun fing, when it wuz rilly sumfing else.

Budda rabbits know, an bemember da pawtant fings: dat ebberyfing issn whut it seems to be; Waid an be patient; Wisten an wearn. Da troof comes.

See? I told you dat dis blog culd be aboud ennyfing.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:48 AM EST
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Tuesday, 3 February 2004
Day Three / Sekond Strand
Anudder Winter Storm; freezin rain, cowd, dwip, ice. Da cars is sling-shottin aroun our corner. I god up to watch wun obb'em, bud he made it wiffoud bouncin offa da hedge, so I god down agin. Beats me why hoomins go oud innis stuff. Stayin home wuld be da bedder opshun. As wong assa home issa quiet pwace. Which dis is nod.

Dadda is stayin home, bud id is cos he is sik. He is sneezin an blowin his noz an wrappin up inna bed cos he feels "awful". Maman brotted him stuff inna bag. She's makin him dwink stuff an take pills frumma hoomin V-E-T. Maman is berry gud when you are sik. She takes a gweat amount ob innerest in you an says nice fings to you an sits wif you. She also bwings you a lotta tweats. Dadda sed he'd radder ged on wif dyin on his own, bud I don fink he means dat. Hoomins say sum rilly stoopid fings.

Wike inna noos dis mornin. I sitted wif Maman while we wooked atta noos on-wine frum Inkwand. An dere's anudder person who pulled dere cwothes off onna TeeBee an is now twyin to say it wassa akydent. So, wike, Who Cares? If a singer sings so badwy dat da onwy way dey can ged 'tenshun is to fwop outta teat on TeeBee, dey bedder find a noo career. Wike dat Madonna perzon... she hassn't beena singer for yeers, Maman sed, so she issn't a "genius". She's a "has-been" who hasta go aroun twyin to do ebberyfing inna hope dat wun obb'em will pay off. Fishin for careers, forda creatibly challenged.

Fank goodness I onwy hab to be a bunny! I watch ober ebberybunny inna Warren an mug for tweats an pway wif my toys an comment on ebberyfing. Dat's whut I do an ober nine yeers, I hab werked hard attit. Inkwish Spots werk hard at ebberyfing. We habba wotta energy so we spenda wotta time burnin it off, doin whut we do best, which is runnin fings. An afta awhile, we ged good attit, an den we just stay good attit cos if we don, who else is gonna debote alla time to it dat we do?

Well, wast nite I told Maman dat Hunny smelled funny. I wooked ober at him an shook my hed an ran in widdle cirkuls an stood up, an wooked his way sum more, an finally she godda message to go wook at his butt. So she piked him up an sure enuf, he had poopy-butt! Dat owd fool just can't eat greens ennymore! Maman's been gibbin us dat "Spring Mix" dat is hextpensib, an don got Romaine (which we KNOW gibs Hunny poopy-butt) innit, bud he can't handle whut's inna Spring Mix, apparently, eidder.

So Maman an Dadda taked Hunny innu da Bafroom an gabe him a Butt-Baf, dried him off an gibbed him Craisins cos he's sucha "Gud Boy" (good grief bud Maman's made baby outta him!) an sed him bak down inna habbytat. So he wuz unseddled most obba nite an none ob us god much sleep. He kept trundlin arounna habbytat, mutterin, an fallin ober his toys an geddin testy an frowin enny toys he managed to ged his toofies aroun, an Poet god P.O.'ed wif him an chased him innu da Diggy-Box aboud four inna mornin cos she wassn geddin enny sweep wif him bumblin aroun. Dat made so much noise dat Maman came to see whut wassa madder an turned onna wight...

An when Maman geds outta bed, Dadda wakes up, too, (cos he can't sweep when Maman issn't inna bed wif him. In his own way, he's tied as tight to her as she is to him, which maks dem preddy much obba pair ob co-dependent idiots) an he geds up, goes to da bafroom an turns onna wight an goes downnastairs to mak a cuppa tea. Makin tea is Dadda's ansur to ebberyfing, don'cha know. Well, suddenwy, da whole houz issa'wake.

So I sed "To heck wiffit" an god up off my blankie an axted Maman for hay for ebberybun. Which we god. Ebben half-asleep, Maman is preddy predictable. Axt her for sumfing an wiffoud finkin, you'll preddy much ged it.

So heer we are. Da mornin issn't haf ober budda brekfast is alreddy heer an gone. Dis mite turn innu a wong day. I need to fink up sum fings to do...

It's my job ==:x)

Posted by Our Warren at 8:51 AM EST
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Monday, 2 February 2004
Day Two / Sekond Strand
Wookit, I hope nobunny geds da idea dat I sitta'round heer, finkin up dis blog before I type it. Cos I don.

I amma berry bizzy bun wiffa wotta stuff to do an dis blog takes, wike, mebbe firty minutes outta my wife inna mornins (or whenebber) to fink, type an post. Dis issn rokit science, you know. I type it onna fly, so to speek.

Hoominz fink dat bunnies god berry widdle to do all day. Dey fink dat we sweep most obba day or just enjoy doin nuffin, bud dat's not troo. Gibbin opshuns, most ob us wuld prefer to be bizzy.

Assa Top Bun inna Warren, I hab 'Sponsibilities. I hab to mak sure dat ebberybun inna Warren is all rite. Dat's not as easy as it mite seem. Just cos we're alla us togedder in wun room, doesn't mean dat I can jus holler oud, "Hey! Ebberybun hokay in heer?" Cos dat just don werk - nod heer, ennyways.

For wun fing, you hollar dat oud, an you're gonna gedda stwing ob compwaints, cos (inna furst pwace) Beebe don wike bein kooped up in one habbytat. I don care how big da habbytat is, he just natchurally don wike boundries. Dat bun issa berry small bunny, bud in his own hed, he finks he'ssa size obba Femmish Giant. If you axt him, he'll tell you, "In real life, I'mma berry BIG rabbit." Da funny pawt is, he beliebs it.

He's ebben wooked inna mirror an finked dat his reflectshun was sumbunny else. He seed himself inna mirror, growled, "Whoda heck are you, Pipsqueek?" an god down wike he was gonna wunge, till DaddyBrian picked him up (wif wun hand) an pud him back in his habbytat wif Clover. Wuz he ebber mad! "I culda beat dat widdle bunny!" wuz all he culd say forda rest obba day.

An Beebe's bondmate, Clover, issa preddy big bunny. She weighs wike aboud eight pounds to his free, an he hasta wook up to her, bud he still don geddit dat he is SMALL. He finks he's bigger den she is. He bwings her stuff to eat an goes aroun pwotecktin her frum Hands an stuff, an she just wets him - cos whut's she gonna do? In his own mind, Beebe's a wegend. Wun day he's Beebe Da Barbarian Bun, da nextest day, he's Beebe Bun-ninja an we godda sit fru his Kung-Bun exybishuns.

He's six yeers owd an he still finks he's huge. At his age, dere's no use in tellin him dat he's not, cos he's conbinced dat he is an no amount ob tellin is gonna change his widdle mind. I figger da pwoblem is his skull. It's aboud da size obba peanut, which means dat he hassa bwain aboud da size obba pea. Dere issn't much room in it for thots, so when he geds a good-sized thot goin' inna bwain dat sized, well, dere's just notta wotta rum for udder thots to be in dere awong wiffit. An dat thot dat he'ssa rilly big, tough-bun has been in his hed so wong dat it's god comfortyable an it's not aboud to leeb, so he's more or wess stuck wiffit.

So are da rest obbus.

So I god outta da habit ob axtin him if ebberyfing is hokay, cos I know he's gonna compwain dat he needs more "terrytorry" to rool ober.

Inna gimmie-pig's butt ('scuse my Franch).

So I godda ged uppinna mornin an go aroun sniffin an questin to mak sure dat ebberybun is doin hokay. An dat don inclood axtin if ebberybun is hokay. I godda habba feets onna gwound an know, furst paw, datta Warren is funkshunin well.

I'm still werried aboud SnoBall. Dat boy issn't eatin wike he shuld, an he issn't doin pooties. Maman is gibbin him medycin, bud I herd her tawkin to DaddyBrian dis mornin an if SnoBall don ged hisself togedder, he's gonna be goin back to Dr. Horn anna Hospiddle tomorry mornin. So I hab to hab a tawk wif SnoBall an see 'zactwy whutta pwoblem is. I dunno ifits his toofies, or ifits all in his tummy, or whut, bud I don wike dis attall. Pootie productshun inna Warren shuld be high at all times for healthy buns an SnoBall needs to be pwoducin more obb'em.

Bud I do gots sum Good Noos. My friend, da Don SA, (He writes da "Rabbit Journal" blog dat is winked to dis wun) dat yestidday I axted ebberybun to pray for... He is home now an firin his Pootyhawk Missul wike he is 'sposed to be doin. So fank you for alla prayers anna bibes anna good thots for him. We saidda prayer ob Fanksgibbin dat he is home where he bewongs, wif his Wimmins.

Now if we kin jus ged SnoBall todo da same...

Posted by Our Warren at 9:16 AM EST
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