Day Sebben / Sekond Strand
Well, Maman is still writin Fank You notes for alla sympathy cawds an notes dat is here for SnoBall. Don seem da same not habbin him heer. I wook up, 'spektin to see him wookin at me an he's not dere wookin, budda fing is, I kin feel him wookin frum sumpwace else.
So dat's hokay den.
Cos rite now, I gotta pootie war on my hands an belieb me, dis issn' easy.
I amma Top Bun in Our Warren. Dere is no arglumint obber dis, its just how id is. Dere is allus a Top Bun inna Warren an I'm It.
So when Maman taked in Mouse an Wuckie-Bun, I was all welcomin an interryested in dem an all, cos dat's how I am. So don'cha know dat Mouse wassa Top Bun in his houz. So, I'm wike, "Well, dat's nice. Welcome to Our Warren, I'm Belinda, Top Bun heer."
An all heck breks loos.
He peed on me.
Den when Hunny comed obber to take a wook, Mouse peed on Hunny an on Poet cos she was standin behind Hunny. Den Missy comed toda frunt ob her habbytat an Mouse wooked at her an sed he wassa Top Bun an peed on Missy an all ober her pooty-box, which made it Unfit for her to step in. An den he peed all ober poor Wuckie-Bunny just to proob dat she was his bunny frum bifore.
Now dat's just NOT powite.
So I told Beebe whut happened, cos he was ober dere in his habbytat wif Clober, an he heered whut was happinin, bud he's short an culdn't see. So while Missy was sputterin away, I told Beeb 'zactly whut was goin on.
So when Beeb got his run-time, he raced ober to Mouse's pwace, an peed on Mouse.
So Maman hadda wotta rinsin ob bunnies to do cos we was all kinda stinky frum dis widdle opinin salvo. An dere wassa wotta damp bunnies an Maman hadda turn uppa heet so we didn ged cowd an Dadda was compwainin dat it was hot inna houz an taked off his shirt. I didn wook cos hoominz don god no fur an are all pink...
Howebber, da nextest time I hadda run-time, I went ober to Mouse's an weft a warge puddle. I'mma wady an I don spray nobunny, bud ged cwose enuf an I'll soak you a gud wun. Mouse stayed onna udder side obba habbytat an gwared at me, so I weft him a pile ob pooties, too, rite inna middle obba puddle. Den I gots my feet wet an gibbed him gud few footflicks to show him dat I ment biznizz.
Well, Maman wooked in an she went ballistic.
Well I didn know dere was pee onna wall, did I? An I didn know she was gonna wash Mouse, eidder. AN she godda paper kitchen roll an wiped uppa puddle anna pooties, so dere went alla my werk, innu da rubbish bin, which is kind obba wet-down becos half obba pooty war is weabin it dere so it gets stinkier wif age. Wif Maman cweanin it up, it don hab time to age ad all.
So Maman sed she wassn habbin no pooty war. Jus wike dat - wike she had sumfing to say aboud it. So she godda sheet an cobbered Mouse's habbytat on free sides so he couldn't see us an we couldn't see him. Bud id issn site dat 'fecks a bunny. Mebbe I culdn't see him, bud I culd smell him, an he was busy smellin wike he was still finkin he wassa Top Bun.
So in order to make him fink udderwise, when I god my run-time, while Maman was inna bafroom fillin uppa wadder crocks, I stawted Da Wall. Now dis issa Basik Stwadegdy: you godda stawt a wall ob pooties an encirkle da udder guy bifore he encirkles you. First wall done, wins.
Dis is NOT for da faint ob heart. Oncet you stwat a Pooty Wall, you gots to finish it. An it's godda be a gud wun, cos your reppytashun is restin on dis. Dis is oud in pubwik for ebberybun to see. Ids a race against time, an it's a test ob your indurance, your pwanin, your skill - ebberyfing. An neatness kounts.
So I stawted on wun side where da sheet wuz. You godda werk fast, bud you godda be akurate, too. I waid downna furst wine ob pooties, den pud sekond wine behind dem. You godda bekareful, cos dey roll when da floor is unebben wike dis wun.
Inna meantime, I kin hear Maman hummin to herself inna bafrum. Insidea habbytat, Mouse kin heer whut I'm doin an more impawtantwy, he kin smell it, so he's racin back an forth, goin nuts. Dat's da furst mistake obba ammychur - dey don ged rite to werk counter-actin you, bud go racin back an forth, shoutin how dere gonna beat your butt. Id's much more worrysum if dey stawt layin pooties when you is.
Bud Mouse issn' a total idiot. Where sum obba woudmouf buns is all tackshun an no ackshun, he stopped runnin back an forth an got down to biznizz an stawted buildin pooty-piles ob his own. I culd smell dem.
So I kept atta wall. Now Missy was watchin. She's a youngbun an hassn't seen a reel pootywar, so I wanted her to pay close 'tenshun. Sumday, she'll maybe habba Warren ob her own an she needs to know how to do dis. When I god aroun to Hunny's side ob fings, he was alweady watchin. Ob course, at his age, he's been inna wotta pooty-wars an he's wun most obb'em. Mostwy cos Maggie, his Rexy Bond-mate who weft forda Rainbow Bridge bifore Poet, hadda teach him, bud Hunny's a good wearner. He beminded me aboud turnin a gud corner wiffa nice pile dere onna points.
Bud Mouse hadda shorter distance to wall in cos he was inside da habbytat an I was outside. I mean, I godda put down a wall ob pooties dat is free feet wong, den two foots wong, den free feets, den two more foots. Dat's a total ob a ten foot wall ob pooties. An it can't be a single wine obb'em eidder, or sumfing wid gaps innit: we're tawkin *wall* here. Kin you squeeze dat oud on command?
Didn't fink so. Maks your eyes wadder, just finkin aboud it, don it?
Yeah, well, dat's whut it takes to be Top Bun.
So I wuz just roundin da corner to da opin side ob Mouse's habbytat when Maman comed in wiffa wadder crocks.
Dat woman issa nut. She stwats screemin her hed off for Dadda.
"Wook at Belinda! Wook at dis!"
So I wook up atter wike, Yeah, well, I'm nod done. Ged'outta'daway. An den she scoops me up an puds me back inside my own habbytat an shuts da door! An DEN she getsa pooty-sucker oud, pwugs id in, an turns id on - an puts da hose down onna floor an dere goes my wall! Rite uppa hose!
Da onwy gud fing she dun was to poke da hose innu Mouse's habbytat an suk up his wall, too. Yeah, an Mouse was wike, "HEY, WADY!?!" Bud it was too wate. His wall was gone, too.
We just culdn't belieb it. Bof walls. Alla dat werk. Just wike dat. Suk - Zap - Gone. Id wassa'nuf to bwing tears to da eyes obba goat. Mouse sed waider on dat he just doesn't ged it. An I told him, nidder do I. It's just Maman. She's a nice wady, an she has gweat tweats, bud she don unnerstand pooty wars. An we agreed dat wassa shame, cos we was rilly doin well. Ebbin Hunny fought we wuz.
So dis mornin, we're back to da beginnin.
Bud I'm eatin a WOT ob hay. I godda lotta werk to do waider on.
Posted by Our Warren
at 9:52 AM EST