Day Ten / Sekond Strand
Dere. I fixed my commint fing so dat now enny commints will show up rite away. Fanks, Mr Bean. I didn know how it werked till you told me I shuld habba wook attit. Hope you're feelin bedder tiday.

Dat's da fing, you godda always be wearnin. If a day goes by dat you don wearn sumfing, guess whut? Den you cant's wearn to spot a dissaster inna makin.

Ennyways, Maman sed I hab to take a bay-kay-shun frumma blog till Monday. Not cos I am goin ennywheres, I am not. Bud she an Dadda are goin away for da week-end an dat means dat she won't be heer to help me post my blog.

Our Warren's gonna be hangin oud. Yeah. 'Scuse my enthusyasim.

Sistah's comin ober to stay an bwingin her friends. So dere is gonna be moobies an chips an dip an veggies an dip an more moobies an sweepin wate an mac an cheese for dinner. We will hab wots ob run-time anna WOT ob smooshie time cos ebberybunny is gonna fink we're cute. Dey allus do.

Dat's da fing. Sistah an her friends habba tend-dancy to go all stoopid when dey see us. Not dat dey ARE stoopid, dey just GO dat way when dey see us. When dey aren't aroun bunnies, wun ob sistah's friends issa biznizz manager for a hotel anna nudder wun issa hex-ray teknishin fora hospiddle. Sistah, herself, issa offis manager fora hoomin V-E-T office. Dey are not stoopid gurls, bud wet dem see a bunny an dey go all stoopid.

Dey all come to da Bun Room door. Now, bemember, dey hab been here wots ob times... bud dey ged toda door an alla sudden, wun obbem screams, "AWWW, WOOK ATTA BUNNIES!"

Well, whut da heck did you fink you was gonna see in here...ollyfants?

An den da udder wun yells: "WOOK HOW MENNY OB DEM!"

Wookit, wady, dis issa Warren. Dere are eight ob us. Dere was nine wast time you was heer, bud SnoBall has gone to da Bridge so dere is axtchually wess ob us. Can't'chu count?

An den da big wun, "OH WOOKIT! HUNNY'S STILL HERE!"

Yeah, wike he had sum pwace to go. At his age.

An dey scream so woud, dat ebben Hunny who is as deaf assa post can heer dem, an since he's not used to hearin ennyfing, he panicks an scoots innu da witterbox, fallin ober Poet an scatterin pooties all ober.

So whut issit aboud us bunnies dat turns reasonable wimmins innu stoopid gurls?

An Sistah wonners why I gib'em da RBB. An ebben dat don werk too gud, cos I gib dem da RBB (da Royal Bunny Butt, you'll bemember) an inbaryably, Sistah skoops me up an holds me wif my butt inna air (yeah, dis is RILLY diggyfied!) an says, "Oh don't mind Belinda. She's such a bitch!"

An she wonners why I pee on'em.

Whut I wanna know is why dey giggle, squeel an run when I do.

An den why, if I'm sucha bitch, do I ged alla kissy-faces frumm'em? Most hoominz reelize dat geddin peed on dat way is NODDA complymint (id is iffa bunny sprays you, bud I'm NOT sprayin dis shower for ownership, NO WAY!) bud you'd fink dey'd be bwight enfu to figger dat oud, bud no. Dey fink I wanna pud my nose up dere wips fora "kiss"! An den dey wonner why dey god furs stuck to dere wipsticks.

I'm tellin you, dere is wun brain-cell in dis gwoup an its on time-share.

So it's gonna be a wong week-end, now I god Sistah anna pootie-war wif Mouse goin on. Pwobabwy won be time forda blog ennyways. Maman sed it is Balentines Day which is why she is takin Dadda away. I dunno, bud I'm nod gonna do my hed in ober it.

Assit is, I bedder go woad up on hay an tank up on wadder, cos I'm goin to need to be full. I kin see dis comin an it's god "dissaster" typed all ober it.

Day Nine / Sekond Strand
YO!

BEEBE BUNNY HEER!

CloverBun: Beebe?

Beebe: Over here, SweetWips.

CloverBun: Don't "SweetWips" me. Whut'cha doin?

Beebe: Belinda is nappin. So I thot I'd see whut dis blog fing was alla'bout.

YO!

CloverBun: It's not tawkin bak.

Beebe: Yeah. You'd fink it wuld do sumfin, bud id dossin.

CloverBun: Iss'er ennybunny oud'dere?

Beebe: Don smeer da winder. Belinda sed dere alla dees peeple oud onna WerldWideWeb. If dere oud'dere, dey ain't tawkin. Mebbe dey don know it's me.

YO! WAKE UP! ENNYBUN GOD'DERE EARS ON?

CloverBun: Mebbe dey don care it's you. Whut'ssat 'sposed t'mean?

Beebe: Means is ennybunny wistenin. Howkin sumbun nod care its me?

CloverBun: Well, I mean, who is you?

Beebe: I am me.

CloverBun: An dat's nice. I am gwad you is you bud... whut are you typin now?

WE GOT US A CONBOY!!! YO!

CloverBun: Whut-da-hek does 'dat' meen?

Beebe: I herd dat on wunna dose fings cawed a 'moobie' dat Dadda caws a 'flim'. Ebber nodice dat he twaks funny?

CloverBun: You tawk funny. Always hollerin' oud "YO".

Beebe: It'sa guy fing. Saw dat inna film, too.

CloverBun: So whut'ssa 'film', ennyway? Dat's when you go wif Sistah downnastairs...

Beebe: Yeah, an sid onna wong soft fing an eet stuff an wook atta wightbox inna wibbin woom. Dere are pikchurs an sounds an sumtimes da floor shakes, all inna wightbox. Mostwy I eet an sid on Sistah's wap. She sez I'mma 'gud boy' an her fav'rit bunny.

YO! CAN ENNYBUNNY TELL ME IF YOU KIN HEER DIS!

CloverBun: So where dossa "YO" come innu it?

Beebe: Just sumfing guys keet sayin. I told ya, id's a guy fing.

CloverBun: I don fink dere's ennybunner indere.

Beebe: Wunder why Belinda finks dis fing is so gweat?

CloverBun: Cos mebbe dis issa gurl fing. Belinda is berry pwogwessib. She finks we needa 'innerackt'. I fink I needa eet. Did Maman bwing inna hay?

Beebe: Maman hassa bad hed. Dadda bwinged inna hay. I bited him.

YO! ALLA YOUSE BUNS OUDDERE! YO!

CloverBun: You godda stop doin dat.

Beebe: Nah. It'ssa guy fing.

CloverBun: Wass'atta door onna BigWhiteBoxInnaKitchin?

Beebe: Yeah. Cummon, wet's go see if she's geddin sumfing oud. Den we kin come bak an see if ennybunny typed bak.

CloverBun: Know whut I fink?

Beebe: Whut? I'm gonna gibbit wun wast twy. Whuddaya fink, SugerWips?

CloverBun: I fink dis whole WerldWideWeb fing is bastwy obber-rated. An don caw me "SugarWips".

Beebe: Whutebber. Ennyway, id pays t'be persistant.

CloverBun: Whut's 'persistint'? An whut's it pay?

Beebe: Dunno. Anudder guy fing.

CloverBun: Yeah, well, you go on bein a guy. I'm gonna go be da furst gurl onna wettuce-wine inna kitchin. At weast I know whut I'm gonna ged outta it.

YO! IF YOU IS OUD DERE, WISSEN UP! DIS IS BEEBE BUNNY! HABBA NICE DAY!

Posted by Our Warren at 11:26 AM EST

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Day Eight / Sekond Strand
Maman wikes musik so she hassa fing cawed a "radio" on inna houz while she issa wake. Most obba time, dis fing pways musik, bud ebbery now an den, dis hoomin comes on an tawks aboudda "noos".

So I'm geddin to hear aboud dis "Marfa Stewart" hoomin who seems to be sayin a wotta stuff to a wotta guys inna fing cawed a "trial".

So I didn know who dis Marfa Stewart wuz, bud I figgered I'd find out ebenchually, cos iffits onna "noos" sumbun aroun here will tawk aboud an all I godda do is keep my ears opin. When your ears areda same size as mine, dat's preddy easy. An sure enuf, Sistah comes in an stawts talkin aboudda Marfa Stewart perzon an dis is whut I finded oud.

'Parentwy, dis Marfa Stewart issa Houz Perzon. She is 'sposed to be a Perzon ob Taste, aldoh, she don seem to know aboud oats, or Craisins or ennyfing dat's gud. How can sumbun be a perzon ob taste an not know whut's gud?

It seems, frum whut Sistah said, datta Marfa Stewart perzon "sets da tabul". Well, dat's nice. Bud whut'ssa good ob settin a tabul? Ebberybunny knows datta tabul is justa wandin pad, for wun fing, an ennyfing dat you set onna tabul is wikely to ged knocked off when a bunny wands onnit.

Besides, da onwy gud fing to set onna tabul wuld be food, an since da bunny is gonna gedda food ennyways, why not just pudda food wun foot offa floor whereda bunny can ged attit easily insted ob makin a bunny hab to climb up onna tabul? Why set it onna tabul inna furst pwace?

See, datsa pwoblem rite inna beginnin. Dere is no point in "settin a tabul", unwess you're settin it inna pwace where id is conbenient fora bunny to ged to it.

An den dere issa "taste" fing. As I sed, dis Marfa Stewart perzon is 'sposed to hab it, bud none obba fings Sistah menshuned she sed is gud, sounded gud at all. In fack, most obb'em sounded preddy bad.

Food shuld be abailable when you wan it. Wike in your bowl. When you is hungree, you go ober toda bowl an dere id is. You eat id. Whutsa point ob makin an issue out obbit? Eat an ged on wif fings.

Dere issa wot to do inna day. Dere are a wotta fings goin on. Wots ob fings need finkin aboud - an here's dis Marfa Stewart perzon werryin aboud howda tabul is settin an how sumbun slammed da carwots onna bowl. Are dey preddy? Wike, who cares? Whut I wanna know is if dere is wots. If dere is wots, den we're gud to go. If dere are not wots, den whut's da pwoblem sif Maman?

I kin see da point ob habin ebberybun eatin atta same time so you kin tawk togedder, bud itsa tawkin togedder dat is impawtant, not da eatin or where da tabul is set or iffa food is preddy. You're gonna eat cos you hab to. Werryin too much aboud how whut you're eatin wooks can't be gud. Werrin aboud whut udderbunnies fink ob you when dey see where da tabul is settin seems just pwain odd.

Wand onna tabul, eatta food dat's dere an ged on wiffa 'pawtant stuff. Wike Maman sed datta hoominz inna country cawed "Hatee" are killin each udder cossa Top Bun dere issn doin his job. Killin is always wrong. A Top Bun hassa dooty to see da ebbery bun inna Warren is hokay, ebberyday. You don do dat, you ged chased oud. Most ob us Top Buns are smawt enuf to know dat if ebberybun issn't at weast sorta happy, we aren't gonna be happy. Atta berry weast, if we don do our job, sumbun is gonna stawt a pootie war an its gonna stink uppa pwace.

Wife issn't all take. A wot obbit is gib. I gib to dis bun, dis bun gibs to dat bun, dat bun gibs to anudder bun an anudder bun gibs to me. It issa cirkul. Maman sed dat you'll notice dat inna beginnin ob fings dere wassa wotta gibbin goin on cawed "Creatshun". I fink we hab to keep dat goin.

Which beminds me, Maman gibbed us hay a widdle while ago, an it tastes preddy gud. Missy is alweddy habbin hers an so is Wuckie-bun an I godda bulk up forda pootie wall I godda build tonite to conbince Mouse dat I am da Top Bun here atta Our Warren. Now if I kin just do it bifore Maman geds outta pootie-sucker...

Day Sebben / Sekond Strand
Well, Maman is still writin Fank You notes for alla sympathy cawds an notes dat is here for SnoBall. Don seem da same not habbin him heer. I wook up, 'spektin to see him wookin at me an he's not dere wookin, budda fing is, I kin feel him wookin frum sumpwace else.

So dat's hokay den.

Cos rite now, I gotta pootie war on my hands an belieb me, dis issn' easy.

I amma Top Bun in Our Warren. Dere is no arglumint obber dis, its just how id is. Dere is allus a Top Bun inna Warren an I'm It.

So when Maman taked in Mouse an Wuckie-Bun, I was all welcomin an interryested in dem an all, cos dat's how I am. So don'cha know dat Mouse wassa Top Bun in his houz. So, I'm wike, "Well, dat's nice. Welcome to Our Warren, I'm Belinda, Top Bun heer."

An all heck breks loos.

He peed on me.

Den when Hunny comed obber to take a wook, Mouse peed on Hunny an on Poet cos she was standin behind Hunny. Den Missy comed toda frunt ob her habbytat an Mouse wooked at her an sed he wassa Top Bun an peed on Missy an all ober her pooty-box, which made it Unfit for her to step in. An den he peed all ober poor Wuckie-Bunny just to proob dat she was his bunny frum bifore.

Now dat's just NOT powite.

So I told Beebe whut happened, cos he was ober dere in his habbytat wif Clober, an he heered whut was happinin, bud he's short an culdn't see. So while Missy was sputterin away, I told Beeb 'zactly whut was goin on.

So when Beeb got his run-time, he raced ober to Mouse's pwace, an peed on Mouse.

So Maman hadda wotta rinsin ob bunnies to do cos we was all kinda stinky frum dis widdle opinin salvo. An dere wassa wotta damp bunnies an Maman hadda turn uppa heet so we didn ged cowd an Dadda was compwainin dat it was hot inna houz an taked off his shirt. I didn wook cos hoominz don god no fur an are all pink...

Howebber, da nextest time I hadda run-time, I went ober to Mouse's an weft a warge puddle. I'mma wady an I don spray nobunny, bud ged cwose enuf an I'll soak you a gud wun. Mouse stayed onna udder side obba habbytat an gwared at me, so I weft him a pile ob pooties, too, rite inna middle obba puddle. Den I gots my feet wet an gibbed him gud few footflicks to show him dat I ment biznizz.

Well, Maman wooked in an she went ballistic.

Well I didn know dere was pee onna wall, did I? An I didn know she was gonna wash Mouse, eidder. AN she godda paper kitchen roll an wiped uppa puddle anna pooties, so dere went alla my werk, innu da rubbish bin, which is kind obba wet-down becos half obba pooty war is weabin it dere so it gets stinkier wif age. Wif Maman cweanin it up, it don hab time to age ad all.

So Maman sed she wassn habbin no pooty war. Jus wike dat - wike she had sumfing to say aboud it. So she godda sheet an cobbered Mouse's habbytat on free sides so he couldn't see us an we couldn't see him. Bud id issn site dat 'fecks a bunny. Mebbe I culdn't see him, bud I culd smell him, an he was busy smellin wike he was still finkin he wassa Top Bun.

So in order to make him fink udderwise, when I god my run-time, while Maman was inna bafroom fillin uppa wadder crocks, I stawted Da Wall. Now dis issa Basik Stwadegdy: you godda stawt a wall ob pooties an encirkle da udder guy bifore he encirkles you. First wall done, wins.

Dis is NOT for da faint ob heart. Oncet you stwat a Pooty Wall, you gots to finish it. An it's godda be a gud wun, cos your reppytashun is restin on dis. Dis is oud in pubwik for ebberybun to see. Ids a race against time, an it's a test ob your indurance, your pwanin, your skill - ebberyfing. An neatness kounts.

So I stawted on wun side where da sheet wuz. You godda werk fast, bud you godda be akurate, too. I waid downna furst wine ob pooties, den pud sekond wine behind dem. You godda bekareful, cos dey roll when da floor is unebben wike dis wun.

Inna meantime, I kin hear Maman hummin to herself inna bafrum. Insidea habbytat, Mouse kin heer whut I'm doin an more impawtantwy, he kin smell it, so he's racin back an forth, goin nuts. Dat's da furst mistake obba ammychur - dey don ged rite to werk counter-actin you, bud go racin back an forth, shoutin how dere gonna beat your butt. Id's much more worrysum if dey stawt layin pooties when you is.

Bud Mouse issn' a total idiot. Where sum obba woudmouf buns is all tackshun an no ackshun, he stopped runnin back an forth an got down to biznizz an stawted buildin pooty-piles ob his own. I culd smell dem.

So I kept atta wall. Now Missy was watchin. She's a youngbun an hassn't seen a reel pootywar, so I wanted her to pay close 'tenshun. Sumday, she'll maybe habba Warren ob her own an she needs to know how to do dis. When I god aroun to Hunny's side ob fings, he was alweady watchin. Ob course, at his age, he's been inna wotta pooty-wars an he's wun most obb'em. Mostwy cos Maggie, his Rexy Bond-mate who weft forda Rainbow Bridge bifore Poet, hadda teach him, bud Hunny's a good wearner. He beminded me aboud turnin a gud corner wiffa nice pile dere onna points.

Bud Mouse hadda shorter distance to wall in cos he was inside da habbytat an I was outside. I mean, I godda put down a wall ob pooties dat is free feet wong, den two foots wong, den free feets, den two more foots. Dat's a total ob a ten foot wall ob pooties. An it can't be a single wine obb'em eidder, or sumfing wid gaps innit: we're tawkin *wall* here. Kin you squeeze dat oud on command?

Didn't fink so. Maks your eyes wadder, just finkin aboud it, don it?

Yeah, well, dat's whut it takes to be Top Bun.

So I wuz just roundin da corner to da opin side ob Mouse's habbytat when Maman comed in wiffa wadder crocks.

Geez.

Dat woman issa nut. She stwats screemin her hed off for Dadda.

"Wook at Belinda! Wook at dis!"

So I wook up atter wike, Yeah, well, I'm nod done. Ged'outta'daway. An den she scoops me up an puds me back inside my own habbytat an shuts da door! An DEN she getsa pooty-sucker oud, pwugs id in, an turns id on - an puts da hose down onna floor an dere goes my wall! Rite uppa hose!

Da onwy gud fing she dun was to poke da hose innu Mouse's habbytat an suk up his wall, too. Yeah, an Mouse was wike, "HEY, WADY!?!" Bud it was too wate. His wall was gone, too.

We just culdn't belieb it. Bof walls. Alla dat werk. Just wike dat. Suk - Zap - Gone. Id wassa'nuf to bwing tears to da eyes obba goat. Mouse sed waider on dat he just doesn't ged it. An I told him, nidder do I. It's just Maman. She's a nice wady, an she has gweat tweats, bud she don unnerstand pooty wars. An we agreed dat wassa shame, cos we was rilly doin well. Ebbin Hunny fought we wuz.

So dis mornin, we're back to da beginnin.

Bud I'm eatin a WOT ob hay. I godda lotta werk to do waider on.

Day Six Add-On / Sekond Strand
Pwease say a prayer an wite a candle to help SnoBall ExFoster find his way acrosst da Rainbow Bridge.

Da Black Rabbit came for him just afta Dadda weft for werk. Me an Hunny, an Missy an Beebe, we seen da Black Rabbit come, an we seen SnoBall go wif him bud it wassn skerry. Bunnies know da Black Rabbit an why he comes an where he goes. We are not afraid.

We tried to call Maman, bud she didn heer us, or if she did heer us, she didn unnerstand why we wuz callin.

So SnoBall ExFoster went wiffa Black Rabbit. It's nodda werst fing inna werld.

Da Rainbow Bridge issa pwace dat winks dis werld to da Meadow inna next. You know how its said "Death is butta doorway"? Well, its a Bridge. An we're at dis end, an SnoBall is goin ober to da udder side ob it now.

An he's gonna waid dere forda rest ob us to catch up.

Bud he wuld wike a candle to shed a widdle wight, cos ids a widdle bit dark inna middle obba Bridge, where da dark frum dis werld issn't quite reached by da Wight from da Meadow. So if we wight a candle for him Here, it will shine on his road to Dere an wet him know dat we is all holdin him in our hearts as he cwosses ober frum wun pwace to anudder.

An I'm sure he'll stop inna middle obba Bridge, between Here an Dere, an he'll wean ober da side where he kin see Da Meadow waidin ober Dere anna Our Warren ober Here, an he'll see Maman an Dadda cwyin, an I'm preddy sure dat he'll wean ober an wabe to dem cos SnoBall knows wike we all do dat Maman an Dadda lub us berry much an dat it is hard for dem to wet us go when it is Time. Maman an Dadda are cwyin now an nobunny wants dem to cwy. Yes, SnoBall will miss us, bud we will miss him more. Maman an Dadda cwy cos dey is here; SnoBall is onwy sad becos dey are sad.

So if you wook up tonite innu da sky an you see a star dat is winkin 'speshually bwight, dat will be SnoBall ExFoster wabin, tellin us dat he's on his way to da Meadow an dat he is not sad. He's tellin Maman an Dadda not to cwy, dat he lubs dem an dat he will see dem soon an dat ebberyfing's hokay now cos he kin see Hawthorn an Maggie an alla udder bunnies an dawgs an kitties an hoomins dat are alreddy Dere, an he kin see Maman an Dadda an us, an he knows dat ebberybun is gonna be allrite.

So wite a candle an wook up toda stars an bemember SnoBall ExFoster on his way acrosst da Bridge.

An be ob good cheer, becos dere issa a Lub Beyond All Lubs, anna Light Dat Shines Fru Da Darkness dat has obercome da Werld.

Day Six / Sekond Strand
Hey Spooky! Yeah, I know, geddin gud buks is hard. Maman pudda fence arounda buk-shelbs an it wooks nice (kinda gibs da libbin room a gardenish wook) bud it keeps me frum selectin my choice ob buks to ged innu. An cos Dadda is buildin noo buk-shelbes, dere aren't so menny buks lyin aroun in piles enny more, eidder. Check da coffee tabul anna end tabuls - buks ushally ged weft dere dat nobunny is actibwy reedin. Wif Maman nod moobin so gud, I'm findin dem unner da settee where dey ged kicked sumtimes, too.

Dadda went to werk dis mornin, berry earwy when it wuz still nite. He sed it wuz so he could ged home before da day was ober. He issa mornin person, Maman sed. I wet dem know dat I didn wike it. I an Missy an den Mouse an Hunny felt us an so he , too. So Maman came innu da Bun Room to see whut wassa madder an I jus turned aroun an showed her my butt. After all, I don wike alla wights bein turned on reel early wike dis an alla catz goin by an nobun comin in to bwing us food or ennyfing. Maman bwinged us hay waider, bud still, you know, when you hab your rooteen an den sumbun goes an screws it up, you don need dat onna Satdidday mornin.

An Dadda was unhappy boud it, too. Seems dere are hoominz at his werk dat just don ged it. I dunno if dey are stoopid or whut, bud Dadda issa Engineer. He gods a big paper frumma big Unnybirsidy in Inkwand an ebberyfing dat sez so, budda hoominz at dis compiny don know da balue ob habbin REEL engineers. Dey don seem to gedda idea dat Dadda's eddykashun means dat he rilly knows stuff datta rest obbem onwy guess at. Dey seem to fink dat dey know MORE stuff din him ebben doh most obbem hab trubble readin cereal boxes wifoud moobin dere wips. Dadda knows 'puters, an a wotta dem fink dey know 'puters cos dey habba kount atta AO-hell an know how to type wif wun finger. I don gotta posable thumbs, bud I kin type, too. Dey type wif wun finger an fink datta Help Desk means sum guys is gonna come ober dere houz an plug ebberyfing in for dem.

Dey also fink I am stoopid. Or not reel. Or not worf habbin.

Kin you belieb dat?

Not worf habbin. Maks me mad enuf dat I culd jus pee on dem.

Cos I amma bunny, I am not worf habbin. Dey don ebben know me, bud dey "know" I am not worf habbin cos I amma bunny. How stoopid issat?

I didn fink badwy ob dem bifore. In fack, I didn fink ob dem at all. Bud now dat I herd dat, I don wike dem.

So you know whut? Maman resqued a collie dawg awhile ago anna collie dawg is named Zachary-Marcus. He issa preddy big dawg fora Border Collie - kinda tall an leggy. He's whut's called a "Bloo Merle", whutebber dat is, an he's god Ice Bloo Eyes. Dr. Batt's, his V-E-T, calls dem "White Eyes". Zachary-Marcus is berry intellygint fora dawg, an he's been to school, just wike Dadda, so he's berry well eddykated. One werd frum Maman, an he does 'zactly whut she tells him. Dey wook berry 'pressib, him an Maman togedder - dis tall, weggy dawg wiffa ice bloo stare anna widdle wimmin wiffa green mac an boots.

So wun day, Maman taked Zachary-Marcus wif her to pick up Dadda frum werk. An Zachary-Marcus sat inna back seat obba car, sittin up reel straight on his side, wike he does (cos he is twained), an when dey god toda pwace where Dadda werks, Maman snapped da weash on Zachary-Marcus an god him oudda car an stood wif him, waitin for Dadda.

An Maman told Zachary-Marcus to "Sit" an he did, reel tall, just by her knee. An Maman sed, "Watch Dadda" an Zachary-Marcus stawted watchin ebberybunny who was dere wif his ice-cowd bloo eyes, not moobin, just his eyes glancin round reel quick unner his thick, black eyebrows. An Zachary-Marcus has dat collie-dawg stare dat kin pin sumbun toda gwound lika bug, an he was usin dat for all he was worf, his bloo eyes dartin an his body stayin reel still an tense beside Maman.

An alla hoominz dere just fwoze solid. Zachary-Marcus sed it wassa funniest fing. Dey froze rite toda groun, an den twied to sidle aroun behin eachudder, twyin to ged away frum his stare, cos dey were 'fraid ob him. Dey sed he wassa "Debil Dawg" wif his white eyes, anna "Ghost Dawg" cossa da way dat he stared, an dey were berry unsure ob Maman, cos she had contwol obba Zachary-Marcus wif just wun or two quiet werds.

An da stoopid perzon dat had sed dat I was nod "worf habbin" tried to act all tough, an sed datta dawg wassn't dang'rus. An Maman sed, reel quiet-wike, "No, he issn. He's 'fraid ob nuthin budda Belinda Bunny. An she's afraid ob nuthin adall." An Maman wooked sharp atta man, an Zachary-Marcus wooked at'tim an dat perzon went away inna hurry.

An Dadda sed datta perzon hasn't menshuned me agin, an he don mak remawks aboud bunnies no more, bud Maman still don wike him, an Zachary-Marcus don wike him eidder. Zachary-Marcus sed dat perzon stinks ob "insincere" an dawgs are good at knowin dat sorta stuff.

Bud dat perzon still issa trubble-maker who messed up my Dadda's job an it's cossa him dat my Dadda is inna werk dis mornin, an why we all hadda fest bifore it wuz lite. Jus cos ob dis wun perzon, who decided dat a bunny wassn worf nuthin when dey didn ebben know me.

Now how stoopid issat?

Posted by Our Warren at 8:37 AM EST

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Day Five / Sekond Strand
I godda note frum my friend, SA's, mawmie. You kin read it, too cos I posted it inna "Comments". When da "comments" fingie pops up when I go to type inna blog, I'm allus 'prised, cos I fortyged dat udderbuns is readin dis fing. I sorta fink sumtimes I'm just siddin here, tawkin to myself or finkin outwoud cos it's good to habba fink outwoud, as wong as nobunny stoopid comes awong an heers you sayin sumfing you'd radder not hab dem heer. Den again, I hab met sum berry interestin folks by sayin sum rilly stoopid fings...

Ennyways, Maman is still on aboud his'twy. Now dey hab gone an dug up sum ded Saxon king in Inkwand who issn't in his grabe bud dey found alla his stuff. Just why he ain't dere when alla his stuff is issn 'zactly pwain to me at all, bud I fink it hasta do wif his'twy. Mebbe Maman will buy a buk onnit an bwing it home for me. Den again, don bet onnit, cos if she does buy it, I pwobably won't be awoud neer it unwess I sneak. Maman sed I don 'prishiate gud buks.

Den again, Maman issn't rilly all dat innerested in Saxon kings who aren't dere, or ebben if dey are dere, bud it's da princyple obba fing, dat dey was diggin an found sumfing, I fink, dat has her readin da repawts onna 'puter. She was innerested inna "earwy Christian artyfacks" she says - "two foil crosses that mite hab adorned da buril cloths" (whutebber dat means), an she wuz spekulatin, she sed, dat in form dey will probilly be too wait inna period to be ob enny innerest to her, bud dat dey are still innerestin.

"Nod ob enny innerest, bud innerestin" - I wike dat.

Id jus goes to show you dat akademik hoominz are nutz.

Maman's Daddy wassa'nudder akademik, so I fink its wike a disease dat hoominz catch frum each udder. Her Daddy went toda Rainbow Bridge, bud he wiked me. He didn know whut to do wif me, cos he had nebber seed bunnies inna houz bifore, bud I usta walk all ober him an sniff him an he petted me. Inna pwace called a "kemistry wab" where he teached dey hadda big white bunny dat hadda 'scaped frum sumpwace esle dat he wet wib in dere anna bunny wassa "watch bunny" dat kept udder hoominz outta wab in hextchange for a nice bed an salads. Nice werk when you can ged it, I guess. Maman's Daddy sed datta hoominz frum where da big white bunny had 'scaped frum came to ged it back an he told dem to ged oud, datta bunny was stayin where id was an "dey knew whut dey culd go do wif demselbes". So da bunny stayed inna "kemistry wab" an hadda houz dere an ebberyfing. It wassa wong time bifore Maman, I fink.

Ennyway, Maman's Daddy sed dat "akademiks reason da same way datta rare "Okafadokal Bird" flies - in ebber decreasing cirkles at ebber increasing speeds, until dey disappear up dere own butt, showering dere baffled pursuers wif fedders, dust and pooties.

An dat wuld preddy much hextplain sum ob Maman's Adbenchurs in Reasoning. Id also goes a wong way to hextplainin why dere are so dang menny buks aroun dis pwace an why so menny obbem are allus bein takin away frum me.

If I heer, "Oi! Belinda! I'm readin dat!" Wun more time, I fink I'm gonna pount.

Well, I do pount ebbery time I heer dat. I run unner sumfing an peer oud, an waid for Maman or Dadda to come an wook for me. An when dey do, I quick turn my back on'em for yellin at me. An den I sulk.

Don yell atta bunny.

An don leeb outta stoopid buks if you don wan me wookin at'tem. I wike buks, too, jus not inna same way as ebberybunny else. I don fink dat dey make for "gud conbersashun" cos id issn't powite to tawk wif your mouf full. Bud I do dig buks - whenebber I gedda chance. Dey are wotsa ennertainment onna rainey, borin day. Hard-cobbers are gud for tossin oncet you hab godden da pages oud. Tellyphone buks are always innerestin cos dey shred well. 'Spensib buks are made wif reel cotton - you kin taste dat quality obba pages.

So you see, I DO 'prishyate good buks.

Just nod da same way as hoomins do. But wike Maman keeps sayin, "Id takes all kinds ta mak a werld".

Day Four / Sekond Strand
Well, Maman's all hextcited. She readed a repowt frum sumpwace called da Unnybirsity ob Bellfast dat sed tree-ring data suggests dat Inkwand unnerwent a climactic shift durin da sixth century, thus balleydatin a bunch ob entries in sum buk by a guy named Gildas dat were preebiouswy inhixplikable unwess dey wuz meta-for-ik-al, an lendin a faktual basis toa bunch ob wegends abouda bunch ob nights wanderin obera "wastewand" searchin fora "Grail". In udder werds, sumfing dat onwy might hab happened a wong time ago now wooks wike it possibwy hab happened a wong time ago, all onna'count obba tree-rings dat gib sum kinda proof dat whut sum guy wrote culd be troo.

Well, dat's nice.

I told you dat dis blog culd be aboud ennyfing.

In sum ways, Maman geds hexcited aboud stuff dat takes da rest ob us awhile to figger oud. An den once we figger it oud, it takes anudder while to figger whut's so 'citin aboud it inna furst pwace.

She comes inna Bun Room to tell us aboud it cos we bunnies manage to wook innerested while she's tawkin. Habbin not to menny facial muscles issa bwessin when you're dealin wif Maman cos it makes it easy to keep frum waffin. You jus kin sit dere an wook wise when she stawts tellin you dis stuff. Hoominz, doh, can't help demselbs. Dey wisten to her fora few minutes an suddewy burst oud waffin or else just ged dis gwazed wook onn'er faces an change da subjek. Budda bunnies kin sit dere an wisten an mebbe fall asleep wiffa eyes opin or jus day dreem, an she kin tawk all she needs to wiffoud habbin her feelins hurt.

Ob course Dadda wistens to her when she goes onna'boud dis stuff wike twee-rings an his'twy. It's wike how Poet wistens to Hunny bumblin aroun alla day wong an don go nutz. Or how Clober wistens to Beebe tellin her dat he issa gweatest anna biggest bunny inna werld when she kin see dat he's onwy a hot-tot wiffa attytude. I usta wisten to Hawthorn tawk aboud bein a CEO an ekonomikal stuff, an cornerin da pootie mawket anna Wall Stweet an I'll tell you now dat I didn unnerstan half obbit, bud id didn madder. It made him happy to tawk aboud it an I didn mind wistenin as wong as I culd sit inna loaf position wif my ears back an wook wise.

I fink dat's why Maman tawks a wot to Hunny. He's mainwy deaf cos he is owd, bud he sits on her wap an puds his hed down an doessen moob while she's tawkin aboud his'twy. An she pets him an he just stays dere an goes wimp. She takes dis fur innerest an keeps tawkin. Whut da owd bugger is rilly doin is fallin asweep, bud she don know dat cos she's all fokussed in on tellin him his'twy.

Axtually, I fink her fokussin on his'twy issa way ob geddin outta her werld, which geds preddy compwykated, innu anudder werld dat she knows alla'boud. Rite now, she is habbin pwoblems wif sum stuff aboud dealin wif her Muver, an her Kids, an stuff issn't goin good. I kin tell dat when she turns off our wight at nite. She stands atta door an says a bwessin ober us. She axts God to pwease watch ober us. She stands dere inna dawk hallway in her nitegown an whispers dees owd-soundin werds, an maks a moobment wif her hand. You kin feel dat she is afraid an sad. She doessn't do it ebbery nite, onwy when she is unsettled.

You see, Maman wooks wike wun fing onna outside an she is sumfing else onna inside. Udder hoominz see whut she is twained to be, an we know whut she is. It's wike hoominz see bunnies assa Easter Bunny or as Peder Cottintail. An we aren't. We are whut we are an until you lib wif us, you don know us as we rilly are. Dat's why you ged dees hoominz who are s'spised to heer dat we use pootie-trays an dat we don always eat carrots. It's cos dey don know us. Dey know whut dey "fink" are us, but whut dey fink is onwy ackchually dere own immagynashun. Whut we are rilly is sumfing esle again.

It's wike Maman's his'twy. 'Parentwy, hoominz habba image obba sixth century an dis Gildas guy an Inkwand assa bunch ob nights questin aroun on horzes, clankin in armor, wabin swords at each udder an writin romantik stuff aboud rescuin maidens unner red starz blazin accrost grey wastewands. An dat'ssa image inna immaggynashun. Da reel deel seems to be dat it wuz berry cowd an dere wuzza wastewand in Inkwand, an mebbe a red star dat wuzza comet dat hextploded oberhed anna climate changed, so da twees didn't grow alwong wiffa udder cwops. So hoomins hadda hard time stayin alibe. An becos it wassa bad time for dem, dey towd stories aboud it, anna stowies god changed ober da yeers, so datta his'twy god messed up an confoozled. So dat now, hoominz fink wun fing, when it wuz rilly sumfing else.

Budda rabbits know, an bemember da pawtant fings: dat ebberyfing issn whut it seems to be; Waid an be patient; Wisten an wearn. Da troof comes.

See? I told you dat dis blog culd be aboud ennyfing.

Day Three / Sekond Strand
Anudder Winter Storm; freezin rain, cowd, dwip, ice. Da cars is sling-shottin aroun our corner. I god up to watch wun obb'em, bud he made it wiffoud bouncin offa da hedge, so I god down agin. Beats me why hoomins go oud innis stuff. Stayin home wuld be da bedder opshun. As wong assa home issa quiet pwace. Which dis is nod.

Dadda is stayin home, bud id is cos he is sik. He is sneezin an blowin his noz an wrappin up inna bed cos he feels "awful". Maman brotted him stuff inna bag. She's makin him dwink stuff an take pills frumma hoomin V-E-T. Maman is berry gud when you are sik. She takes a gweat amount ob innerest in you an says nice fings to you an sits wif you. She also bwings you a lotta tweats. Dadda sed he'd radder ged on wif dyin on his own, bud I don fink he means dat. Hoomins say sum rilly stoopid fings.

Wike inna noos dis mornin. I sitted wif Maman while we wooked atta noos on-wine frum Inkwand. An dere's anudder person who pulled dere cwothes off onna TeeBee an is now twyin to say it wassa akydent. So, wike, Who Cares? If a singer sings so badwy dat da onwy way dey can ged 'tenshun is to fwop outta teat on TeeBee, dey bedder find a noo career. Wike dat Madonna perzon... she hassn't beena singer for yeers, Maman sed, so she issn't a "genius". She's a "has-been" who hasta go aroun twyin to do ebberyfing inna hope dat wun obb'em will pay off. Fishin for careers, forda creatibly challenged.

Fank goodness I onwy hab to be a bunny! I watch ober ebberybunny inna Warren an mug for tweats an pway wif my toys an comment on ebberyfing. Dat's whut I do an ober nine yeers, I hab werked hard attit. Inkwish Spots werk hard at ebberyfing. We habba wotta energy so we spenda wotta time burnin it off, doin whut we do best, which is runnin fings. An afta awhile, we ged good attit, an den we just stay good attit cos if we don, who else is gonna debote alla time to it dat we do?

Well, wast nite I told Maman dat Hunny smelled funny. I wooked ober at him an shook my hed an ran in widdle cirkuls an stood up, an wooked his way sum more, an finally she godda message to go wook at his butt. So she piked him up an sure enuf, he had poopy-butt! Dat owd fool just can't eat greens ennymore! Maman's been gibbin us dat "Spring Mix" dat is hextpensib, an don got Romaine (which we KNOW gibs Hunny poopy-butt) innit, bud he can't handle whut's inna Spring Mix, apparently, eidder.

So Maman an Dadda taked Hunny innu da Bafroom an gabe him a Butt-Baf, dried him off an gibbed him Craisins cos he's sucha "Gud Boy" (good grief bud Maman's made baby outta him!) an sed him bak down inna habbytat. So he wuz unseddled most obba nite an none ob us god much sleep. He kept trundlin arounna habbytat, mutterin, an fallin ober his toys an geddin testy an frowin enny toys he managed to ged his toofies aroun, an Poet god P.O.'ed wif him an chased him innu da Diggy-Box aboud four inna mornin cos she wassn geddin enny sweep wif him bumblin aroun. Dat made so much noise dat Maman came to see whut wassa madder an turned onna wight...

An when Maman geds outta bed, Dadda wakes up, too, (cos he can't sweep when Maman issn't inna bed wif him. In his own way, he's tied as tight to her as she is to him, which maks dem preddy much obba pair ob co-dependent idiots) an he geds up, goes to da bafroom an turns onna wight an goes downnastairs to mak a cuppa tea. Makin tea is Dadda's ansur to ebberyfing, don'cha know. Well, suddenwy, da whole houz issa'wake.

So I sed "To heck wiffit" an god up off my blankie an axted Maman for hay for ebberybun. Which we god. Ebben half-asleep, Maman is preddy predictable. Axt her for sumfing an wiffoud finkin, you'll preddy much ged it.

So heer we are. Da mornin issn't haf ober budda brekfast is alreddy heer an gone. Dis mite turn innu a wong day. I need to fink up sum fings to do...

It's my job ==:x)

Day Two / Sekond Strand
Wookit, I hope nobunny geds da idea dat I sitta'round heer, finkin up dis blog before I type it. Cos I don.

I amma berry bizzy bun wiffa wotta stuff to do an dis blog takes, wike, mebbe firty minutes outta my wife inna mornins (or whenebber) to fink, type an post. Dis issn rokit science, you know. I type it onna fly, so to speek.

Hoominz fink dat bunnies god berry widdle to do all day. Dey fink dat we sweep most obba day or just enjoy doin nuffin, bud dat's not troo. Gibbin opshuns, most ob us wuld prefer to be bizzy.

Assa Top Bun inna Warren, I hab 'Sponsibilities. I hab to mak sure dat ebberybun inna Warren is all rite. Dat's not as easy as it mite seem. Just cos we're alla us togedder in wun room, doesn't mean dat I can jus holler oud, "Hey! Ebberybun hokay in heer?" Cos dat just don werk - nod heer, ennyways.

For wun fing, you hollar dat oud, an you're gonna gedda stwing ob compwaints, cos (inna furst pwace) Beebe don wike bein kooped up in one habbytat. I don care how big da habbytat is, he just natchurally don wike boundries. Dat bun issa berry small bunny, bud in his own hed, he finks he'ssa size obba Femmish Giant. If you axt him, he'll tell you, "In real life, I'mma berry BIG rabbit." Da funny pawt is, he beliebs it.

He's ebben wooked inna mirror an finked dat his reflectshun was sumbunny else. He seed himself inna mirror, growled, "Whoda heck are you, Pipsqueek?" an god down wike he was gonna wunge, till DaddyBrian picked him up (wif wun hand) an pud him back in his habbytat wif Clover. Wuz he ebber mad! "I culda beat dat widdle bunny!" wuz all he culd say forda rest obba day.

An Beebe's bondmate, Clover, issa preddy big bunny. She weighs wike aboud eight pounds to his free, an he hasta wook up to her, bud he still don geddit dat he is SMALL. He finks he's bigger den she is. He bwings her stuff to eat an goes aroun pwotecktin her frum Hands an stuff, an she just wets him - cos whut's she gonna do? In his own mind, Beebe's a wegend. Wun day he's Beebe Da Barbarian Bun, da nextest day, he's Beebe Bun-ninja an we godda sit fru his Kung-Bun exybishuns.

He's six yeers owd an he still finks he's huge. At his age, dere's no use in tellin him dat he's not, cos he's conbinced dat he is an no amount ob tellin is gonna change his widdle mind. I figger da pwoblem is his skull. It's aboud da size obba peanut, which means dat he hassa bwain aboud da size obba pea. Dere issn't much room in it for thots, so when he geds a good-sized thot goin' inna bwain dat sized, well, dere's just notta wotta rum for udder thots to be in dere awong wiffit. An dat thot dat he'ssa rilly big, tough-bun has been in his hed so wong dat it's god comfortyable an it's not aboud to leeb, so he's more or wess stuck wiffit.

So are da rest obbus.

So I god outta da habit ob axtin him if ebberyfing is hokay, cos I know he's gonna compwain dat he needs more "terrytorry" to rool ober.

Inna gimmie-pig's butt ('scuse my Franch).

So I godda ged uppinna mornin an go aroun sniffin an questin to mak sure dat ebberybun is doin hokay. An dat don inclood axtin if ebberybun is hokay. I godda habba feets onna gwound an know, furst paw, datta Warren is funkshunin well.

I'm still werried aboud SnoBall. Dat boy issn't eatin wike he shuld, an he issn't doin pooties. Maman is gibbin him medycin, bud I herd her tawkin to DaddyBrian dis mornin an if SnoBall don ged hisself togedder, he's gonna be goin back to Dr. Horn anna Hospiddle tomorry mornin. So I hab to hab a tawk wif SnoBall an see 'zactwy whutta pwoblem is. I dunno ifits his toofies, or ifits all in his tummy, or whut, bud I don wike dis attall. Pootie productshun inna Warren shuld be high at all times for healthy buns an SnoBall needs to be pwoducin more obb'em.

Bud I do gots sum Good Noos. My friend, da Don SA, (He writes da "Rabbit Journal" blog dat is winked to dis wun) dat yestidday I axted ebberybun to pray for... He is home now an firin his Pootyhawk Missul wike he is 'sposed to be doin. So fank you for alla prayers anna bibes anna good thots for him. We saidda prayer ob Fanksgibbin dat he is home where he bewongs, wif his Wimmins.

Now if we kin jus ged SnoBall todo da same...

Day One / Sekond Strand
Dis issa furst day obba sekond strand.

I need sum help here for wunna my bestest friends, SA, Da Don, who is inna Hospiddle.

SA's blog is winked to mine, an I'm sure dat alla you reed his "Rabbit Journal" boud him an his wimmins, Spooky an Hermionee. Well, yestidday, SA stopped eatin, which fora bunny issa berry bad fing, an aldoh he was still pootyin, he wassn doin his normal, famous pooties dat comprise da feared Pootyhawk Missul, bud nasty poops dat meen his tummy is not well. So his mawmie taked him toda V-E-T anna reg'lar V-E-T sent him toda 'Peshulist Hospiddle, where he is habbin medysin, an ebberyfing to ged his gut moobin again.

Bunnies habba berry dellykat digestib system. We hab two tummies, ackchually, anna wong wine ob intestins so dat we can pwocess hay. Dis whole fing hasta be kept moobin alla time. If it geds bwocked up, den we kin die. We can't frow up, so we can't choke uppa hairball wike catz, but we gwoom wike catz, an sumtimes alla hair anna hay ged mixtup an form a blockage. An dat's when we need help frumma V-E-T to ged fings down dere moobin again. Dis is whut was wrong wif SnoBall ExFoster a coupla weeks ago an whut is wrong wif SA now.

So SA needs prayers an good thoughts and healin energy - which is all preddy much da same fing - to be sent his way. So if alla hoomins an buns ob goodwill culd direkt dere good foughts, for just wun moment, toward wun pwace, to just wun bunny... fink how much good dat wuld do! Alla dat possytib energy flowin in wun direktshun, toward wun specifik pwace. It wuld be wika 'lektrick current hedin straight to wun pwace. Wike lightin.

So, I'm axtin ebberybun who is reedin dis Blog to siddown an fink sumfing gud aboudda Bunny. Fink ob SA's widdle gut moobin awong nicely, pushin fru hay innu pooties an widdle pooties poppin outta back end ob SA wif gweat reggylarity.

Could you do dat? Pwease? Id'll onwy take you a few sekonds. Not much. Just fink obba nice bunny who don't feel too gud, an no-madder whut you belieb or don't belieb, just fink sumfing possytib. Cos I fink datta Creator wikes to heer possytib fings, an I fink datta Creator wikes us to werk alla us togedder.

Alla Us Togedder issa way obba Warren. An we are alla Warren, alla us togedder. Wun Big Warren, made up obba wotta widdle warrens spwead all obber da pwace, bud togedder makin up Wun Big Warren. I fink dat's whut da werld rilly is - Wun Big Warren. Dat's how we was Created. Dat is how we are 'sposed to be. A Warren issa possytib fing. Id is Alla Us Togedder werkin to take care ob ebberybun, so nobun is ebber OnAlone. OnAlone issa terrible fing - id means dat you hab nobunny an nobunny has you - bud bein pawt obba Warren means dat you are safe wiffa udder bunnies, ebberybunny carin for ebbery udder bunny, werkin togedder, addin alla our strengths togedder to minnymize our weeknesses.

Dis is how we wuz created. Dat's da 'tellygence behinda Creatshun. Da 'tellygence dat made us small an week as indybiduals has made us gweat an stwong assa gwoup. Dat Creator knew a wot more den we do, an gabe us dis 'cobery to figger oud. Rabbits figgered it oud awong time ago: Wife issa Warren. Wun Big Warren

So pwease be pawt obba Warren. Take sum time tidday to send sum possytib energy to SA.

I'll wet you know how he is as soon as I kin.

An fank you. Dis is berry impawtant to me an to Our Warren. Actchually, dis is berry impawtant to ebberybun: whut affekts wun ob us affekts us all. We are Wun Big Warren.

Day Twenty Free / First Strand
Hey Ebberybunny! Wook at dis! Ebberybunny point your browser to http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004042519,00.html and reed dis noos story! If dat don come up assa wink, jus copy it frum heer an paste it innu your browser winno an click "enter" an you'll go rite toda stowy. Or go to http://www.thesun.co.uk, and find da stowy frum dere. Search for it unner da name "Dory". Id is frum today's The Sun, a rilly big noospaper in Inkwand. Da stowy is aboud how a big houz bun named Dory sabed her Dadda's life! Id issa gweat stowy aboud a hero bunny! Dere issa pikchur ob Dory an her Dadda, too. Datsa fing, you know. Sabin hoomins libes is sumfing dat hoomins associate wif dawgs an sumtimes wif catz, but almost nebber wif bunnies, bud bunnies are smawter den most hoomins reelise. Dory knowed dat sumfing wuz wrong an she god help. It wuzzat simple. So dis is gonna be a short entry, cos I'm hopin dat you will go an reeda story boud Dory da Hero Bunny, an mebbe rebise your finkin aboud jus how smawt, an how 'pawtant houzrabbits can be! Here issa wink again: http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004042519,00.html

Day Twenty Two / First Strand
Maman reads a wotta buks. I digest a wotta buks. We gedda wong onna subjekt ob buks, den, cos dere are so menny ob dem inna houz.

So when dere wassa series ob buks called "His Dark Materials" dat comed oud, Maman taked a wook.

Den she fought aboud whut dis perzon typed inna buks. An she red whut da writer-perzon sed inna interbiews inna noospapers. Maman hasta be fair. She sed dat dis is whut akademiks twy to do - be fair - unwess dey hab to justify dere positions or pubwish or sumfing. She says she don hab to justify nuffin to nobunny an kin say whut she wants. She geds feisty wike dis cos she is small.

Ennyway, she dumped da "His Dark Materials" buks inna recyklin bin an sed I culdn't digest dem.

"Sum fings, " She told me, "Gib bunnies a mental tummy ache."

So I putted my paws up onna habbytat an axted her howcome. She opined uppa habbytat door so I culd come oud an sit inna wap wif her an she satted down an splained to me dat sum buks is just bad cos dey are typed badly; udders are bad cossa perzon dat typed dem can't tella stowy to sabe dere wife. And den, she sed, dere are buks dat are typed dat are one fing dat pwetend to be anudder - wike history buks dat make up "facks" insted ob just wistin whut rilly happined an stuff wike dat.

Seems dat dis perzon dat typed da "His Dark Materials" buks didn't tell da troof aboud wun obba buks dat Maman reeded when he gabe a innerbiew. He sed dat inna buks called "Narnia" dis character named "Susan" gots frown outta Heaven cos she wiked lipstick. Da guy sed dat dat dere is no Rainbow Bridge, dere is nopwace to go after da Bwack Rabbit comes, an dat da guy who writed Narnia was stoopid. He scared widdle hoomins by excloodin Susan frum Heaven cos she growed up an went fru normal "adolecense" innu adulthood. Dat whutta "His Dark Materials" guy sed datta "Narnia" guy sed.

Which issn't troo.

Susan wassn't pawt obba Narnia idea obba Heaven cos she choose not to be pawt ob it, not cos she was frown oud. She choosed to fortyged dat dere ebben was or had ebber been a pwace called "Narnia". She rejected Heaven; Heaven didn' reject her.

Da perzon who writed da "His Dark Materials" buks is makin a statement bouda buk he misunnerstood an is spreadin aboud a stowy dat issn't troo. Just to mak his buk seem bedder den id is. Or to mak whut he belibs wook more "friendly" den id is.

Now da onwy way dat udder hoomins is goin to unnerstan datta "His Dark Mateerials" guy is wrong is if dey go an reed alla "Narnia" buks, an den reed alla "Dark Materials" buks an compare - bud who is goin to go to alla dat trubble? Maman don fink dat menny hoomins will. She finks dat cossa guy who typed da "Narnia" buks is ded, an gone to da Rainbow Bridge, dere is rilly nobun aroun to tell aboud whut he finked. An heers dis guy wif "His Dark Materials" buk to be sold, an he's inna alla noospapers, tawkin a wot an gibbin innerbiews. An cossa "Narnia" guy issn't heer, he can't say ennyfing.

So Maman sed itsa wot wike da perzons who type da history buks dat say dis Hitler guy dida gud fing or dat dem Nazi guys wuz framed. Dey kin all make up "facks" now, when dere are hardwy enny udder hoomins around to tell whut rilly happened. Dey can type all kinds ob buks an fill up whole liberries wif stuff. dat issn't troo cos dere is nobunny heer dat bemembers whut rilly went on.

Bud sumwhere, da troof wies quiet.

An sumwhere, da troof is still typed oud, an id is dere to be digged out an digested. Budda diggin takes werk, an sumtimes hoomins don wanna doda werk.

Finkin takes werk, too. Dis guy who typed "His Dark Materials" is hopin dat no wun will be diggin or finkin, or bememberin whut dey reeded inna Narnia guy's buks. He's hopin dat hoomins were too young to unnerstand whut dey wuz reedin an fortygetted or didn unnerstan Narnia, so dat whut he says now will sound so much more "growed up" an "'dult" an "reasonable".

Bud he is wrong. Conclusions drawn frum misstated or made-up "facks" will always be wrong. You can't ged free frum puddin wun an wun togedder. Unwess you cheat. An statin stuff dat's wrong inna furst pwace, an den sayin you habba bedder idea is cheatin. An who knows where it wuld lead frum dere?

So Maman gotted rid obba buks before I culd ged my teef innu dem.

I don need a mental tummy ache.

Day Twenty Wun / First Strand
I'm wonderin how menny days dere are inna "Strand". I fink da 'riginal idea wasta habba "Strand" ebbery munf an to keep fings organnynized dat way. I dunno now whut I was finkin, bud since we are geddin to da end obba munf, an dis blog fing is still goin, I guess I bedder figger id oud.

Den again, organnyzashun is notta fing dat really is done well at Our Warren or at weast dat's whut Dadda sed wast nite. I will type 'boud dis.

Dere is no bedder way to fink aboud fings den when you is eatin. Wast nite wuzza preddy good Tweat Time. Dey are good fooders around heer.

Ob course Hunny feeled Dadda comin uppystairs furst.

You see, cos Hunny is so owd, he can't hardly see an he doesn't heer berry well, so he mostly hasta wisten wif his feets for bibrashuns inna floor. He's gottin preddy gud at dis. He kin "heer" Maman comin, an he kin "heer" Dadda an cos he is preddy gud at knowin whut time fings happen, he knows when to 'spect dat Dadda will be aribbin wiffa tweats.

So Dadda camed in furst wiffa 'nanners. We each godda seksun ob nanner. I gwabbed mine an ran toda back ob my habbytat. Missy just pwopped down an eated hers where she was. A wot ob us "runz wif froot" budda more serious-minded buns just eat it wherebber. Hunny an Missy are serious-minded aboud dere food - once dey find it, dat is.

Ennyways, while we was habbin nanner, Maman comed uppystairs wif salad. Preddy gud salad, too - wots ob choice. Wassn't no herbs, doh, cos dis issa Winter anna Farmers' Market is cwosed.

Den Dadda an Maman togedder bringed us big pillows ob timofey hay an cwean wadder.

And den, da organnyzashun dat is supposed to be goin on aroun heer wiffa hoomins breaked down.

Dadda went inna bedroom which is nextest door toda BunRoom, bud Maman stayed in wif us. Anna next fing I know, she's sayin to me,

"Didn't my Pooty Queen gedda tweats?"

Now I'm nod stoopid. Wike I'm gonna wook up heer an say, "Yeah Wady, I hadda nanner an I'm full." Dat'll happen.

So I just wooked at her an waggled my ears, which always seems to make Maman smile. Den I twiched my nosey att'er. An I made buzzy noises an came ober toda front gate obba habbytat an pud my paws up onnit wike I do when I'm axtin her for sumfing.

So Maman goes an gedsa bag ob Craisins anna next fing I know, she's handed outta Craisins to ebberybun! So I gwab mine an run of toda back ob my habbytat, an Missy sets down an gobbles hers up outta Maman's hand, an Poet an Hunny are fallin all ober each odder cos Hunny's figgered oud whut's goin on an wike a dummy, told Poet an she's all 'cited cos she geds dat way, an nextest door to dem, Maman's feedin Craisins to Beebe an Clober. It's Pandamonium Inna Bun Room! Bud dat's aboud normal, issn't id.

So wike she does, Maman calls Dadda. Will he help her to feed da two owd fools so dey don hurt each odder fallin all ober da pwace.

An Dadda's wike, "Whut? I jus gab alla bunnies nanner..."

An Maman stops an wooks straight ahed, an you kin see her finkin - an Hunny an Poet are still goin round an round in cirkuls all frantik, bud you know she issn't seein dem at all - an den you see Maman's eye widen a widdle, an she gibs dis widdle half-sigh an you know datta widdle light-bulb obber her hed is now switched on, alluminatin da fakt dat she's dupleekatin tweats.

An da udder fakt dat's beein alluminated is dat it's too wate to stop now.

So Maman gibbed sum Craisins to Mouse an Luckie an SnoBall an den dere are da two Senior Buns, still goin nuts. So Maman geds Craisins in bof hands an bends ober dere habbytat. Well, two ob ennyfing makes Hunny crayzee cos he can't figger oud which wun he's 'sposed to go to an he can't dibide himself in half an go to bof. So he just winds himself into a tight cirkul an spins aroun an aroun. An Poet can't see da end obber nose an don know where da Crasins end an Maman's hand begins. So Hunny spinned full-tilt into Maman's hand an spilled Craisns ebberywhere an Poet bitted her...

An by da time Maman stopped Hunny spinnin, an god him pointed toward da Craisins dat wuz onna floor, Dadda had aribbed an got Poet turned aroun an god her nose-down inna Craisins, too. So dat wuz good.

An onna way oud obba Bun Room, just as dey wuz shuttin offa wite, I heered Dadda tell Maman dat whut dey needa do wasta werk on "organnyzashun".

I dunno, I fink she's hokay. For now.

Day Twenty / First Strand
As SA, my friend who types Da Rabbit Journal, has noted, Tweats issa berry 'pawtant subjek, if not *de* most pawtant subjek aroun for diskusshun.

Rite now, I seeina wotta blogs typin boud pollytiks, boud bein Deanites, an Kerryites, an Gen'ralites, an ABB's, bud atta end obba day, dos guys will come an go, bud tweats will remain. When it comes to comfort, you kin fortyged your pollytishins. Dey is notta comfortyable bunch. Stick wif tweats an you'll nebber be wet down.

Yestidday I menshuned Rice Chex assa fabourite tweat, an tidday I mean to type aboud Cherrios assa nudder fabourite tweat. Cherrios is small, round an dey come in big boxes so you kin hab wots. Dere are also no crumbs. Whut's not to wike? Dey are good for you cos dey don habba wotta sugar an cos dey is made frum Oats.

Oats is anudder tweat. Hunny geds Oat Groats cos he issa Owd Bun an hassa maintain his weight, bud Oat Groats habba wotta fat inn'em, anna rest ob us don ged to hab dem 'cept on speshul okayshuns.

We do ged Oat Hay sumtimes in addition to Timofey Hay. Oat Hay is berry tasty an I wish we culd ged more obbit, bud Maman can't allus find it inna Feed Store cos it's not common hay. Common hay issa stuff dat can be boughtted almost ennywheres dat hay is sold. Id is ushually Alfalfa Hay an it arribes inna store in bags frum menny dif'frunt pwaces, even frum sumpwace called Cannyda. Sum obba Alfalfa Hay an Timofey hay is bedder den udders: sum has seeds in, some wooks wike nuffin bud straw! We ged bales obbit frumma reel farmer an our hay smells sweet an fresh an it has no dust or ennyfing wike you kin ged in dose widdle bags obbit frumma Feed Store.

Now heer's a fing. Maman knows da farmer who grows hay. He'sa nice guy, gots kids, a bunch ob wand, a houz an sum horzez (dees are big rabbits wif short ears an hard feets. Dey pull carts an stuff). Dis guy werks hard. He hassa wotta munny tied up inna 'quipment to grow fings, wike hay, which he grows an sells. Bein a farmer is his whole wife an werk. Its whut he went to school to wearn how to do an whut he lubs doin.

He buys seeds, pwants da seeds, makes sure datta seeds grow (dere issa wotta whut's called "science ob aggyculchur" in dis dat he hadda go to school for) an den werks wong hours to harbest da hay. He sells da hay for aboud sebben dollars ob munny to Maman fora whole bale ob timmy hay. A whole bale ob timmy hay weighs more den Maman can carry an takes up almost da whole trunk obba Buick car. An dis costs Maman sebben dollars in munny. Bemember dis.

Now, if Maman goes toda Feed Store, dere are widdle bags ob hay dat Maman kin buy. Dey are small enuf dat she kin carry FOUR ob dem bags wif wun hand. An each wun obba bags costs fibe dollars in munny! Fur wun bag! Fibe dollars in munny for wun widdle bag. Bemember dis, too.

Now Maman's friend issn't rich. He doesn't hab a wotta dollars in munny. Bein a farmer an growin hay doesn't gib him a wotta dollars to buy fings. When he sells his hay bales toda Big Company, he don ebben ged sebben dollars for each bale. He geds WESS dollars. Da guy who hassa Feed Store issn't rich, eidder. He don godda wotta dollars. Budda widdle hay-bags dat he sells costs a wotta dollars dat he gibs back toda Big Company dat buyed dem offa da farmers.

So sumwhere awong da way, dere ara wotta dollars ob munny bein made dat are not goin toda hoomins who did alla werk onna Timofey hay!

Da Feed Store Guy doesn't habba wotta dollars. Da Farmer Guy doesn't habba wotta dollars. Budda widdle bag ob hay costs a wotta dollars. So where are alla dollars? Maman don gotta dollars, dat's for sure.

I don know aboudda Big Company, bud it seems to me dat dey don do much, 'cept buy da hay fora few dollars frumma Farmer Guy, an den sell it fora wotta dollars toda Feed Store Guy. So how come da Big Company is geddin alla dollars? Whut are dey doin toda hay dat is so speshul dat dey are geddin alla dollars?

I fink da farmers shuld ged more obba dollars ob munny for alla werk dat dey do. Dey seem to habba most to do wiffa hay. Da wrong hoomins are geddin too menny dollars for not doin enuf obba werk. Da hay-bags shuldn't cost menny more dollars, budda Big Company shuldn't be keepin so menny obba dollars for demselbs. Dey shuld gib more toda farmers who do alla werk, an keep a smaller share forda Big Company. Den da farmers wuld be able to grow more timofey hay an mebbe hab sum munny to put inna few acres ob Oat Hay, you know?

Den dere wuld be more Oat Hay, an dat wuld mean more tweats. I fink dere shuld be more tweats. Not cossa bein gweedy, bud cos we all need more 'peshul times durin da day. It wuld brighten fings up, knowin dat dere are more tweats comin. Kind ob make more fings to wook forward toward.

Wet's face id, tweats make your mouf happy. Tweats make YOU happy. If you culd gib yourself a tweat ebbery time you did sumfing gud, den you wuld do more gud stuff to ged more tweats. Den ebberybun wuld be doin more and more good fings to ged more an more tweats.

Dis culd werk. Fink aboud it.

Werk hard. Habba tweat fora reward. Den werk hard. Habba reward. Werk. Tweat. Werk. Tweat.

It culd get to bea habbit.

An all if we culd make tweats more plentiful by gibbin farmers more munny.

Sumbun rilly shuld wook innu dis. Whut'cha fink?

Day Nineteen / First Strand
Now heer's a subjek: Rice Chex.

You know dem, da crunchy widdle squares ob mainwy air dat come inna bloo an white box. Hoomins refer to dem unner da broad heedin ob "Cer'wal", bud in Lagomorphin, dey are classed unner da ebben broader heedin ob "Tweats".

Tweats are not Food. Food is whut is dere, alla time, dat you eat whedder you wike it or not. Mostwy, it is gud for you. Da way to find oud if sumfing is food is to twy it. If you kin eat it an it's allus dere, id is food. If id is rilly good an onwy arribes at 'peshul times, accompanied by songs, dances an udder ebents, den itsa Tweat. Tweats make your mouf happy.

Sum tweats are hard to eat, bud worf da effort. Yo-Gurt an punkin are wike dat. Dey arribe on "spoons" -sticks wif flat ends - an you gotta wick da gob ob stuff offa end obba spoon. Dis kin be twicky sumtimes. Moob your hed wrong or misjudge your distance wiffa nosey, an you kin end up wearin most obba tweat. Dis is hokay as you kin sab sum for waider an gwoom it off atchur leezure. Sum tweats kin wast fora whole day dat way.

Sum Tweats are sticky. Maman found dees Zante Currants inna store an bwinged dem home for us. Dey're a widdle wike raisins, onwy smaller an stickier, bud dere BERRY sweet. Almost as sweet as dried blooberries, an dat's berry sweet. Dried blooberries ara Cwistmass Tweat dat onwy seem to come frum dat Santa Claws guy dat I nebber seen (a figmint ob Maman's 'maginashun. Dat woman hassa wotta figmints.). Where he geds dem is ennybunny's guess. Bud he gibs dem to Maman an she gibs dem to us inna mornin afta Church. Blooberries are formal: Maman hasta be dwessed up to gib dem to us. I don know why.

We hadda Zante Currants da udder day. Maman comed in wiffa box ob dem, an ob course, I gotted mine furst. Cos Maman wuz comin in atta dif'frunt time ob day, Hunny an Poet haddn't figgered oud dat dere were enny tweats comin, so dey were still sort ob just millin aroun in dere habbytat while I was eatin. I didn' say ennyfing cos my mouf was full an its not polide to tawk wif your mouf full. So dey didn't know aboudda tweats. Dey are berry owd rabbits an can't see or smell dat gud, aldouh Hunny hassa preddy gud bocabulary an knows alla tweat werds an can rekinize most tweats when he kin gedd'um in fokus. Bud his nose doesn't werk berry well ennymore, so Maman kin sometimes ged innu da Bun Room wif tweats an gib me mine before Hunny hassa cloo, which wuz whut wuz happenin wiffa currants. I wuz eatin mine rilly quiet-wike.

Den Missy suddenwy figgered oud whut was going on cos she seed me chewin an she hollars oud, "Tweats!" an scoots into her witter pan so she can be taller when she stands up to ged her share frum Maman.

Well, as soon as she sed it, Owd Hunny pops rite up on his back wegs, axtin, "Huh?" an dopey owd Poet, who is followin on cwose behind Hunny, knocks innu him an dey bof fall ober.

So ob course, rite away Maman leebs off gibbin me currants an hasta hurry ober to make sure datta owd fools habbent hurt demselbs. An as she's goin, she twips ober Mouse's habbytat (cos its crowded inna Bun Room wike you wouldn't belieb!) anna box ob currants goes flyin outta her hand.

So I'm watchin da box fly fru da air an I'm finkin, "Its goin in dere habbytat." an it does.

Da box ob currants wands onna edge obba habbytat anna currants come flyin oud, wike beez outta a'hibe, an dey wand on Poet an on Hunny. I fought dey wuld bounce off obb'em an wand onna floor wike raisins, an den dere wuld bea mad scramble to pik dem up, bud da currants didn't bounce. Dey stuck onto Poet an Hunny's fur. Wooked wike freckles. Or wike wrinkled pooties.

So dere's Poet wookin at Hunny an she's got dis wook on wike she's nebber had before (Poet's a nice gurl, bud she's notta brightest bud inna flower patch, if you catch my meanin.) an Hunny is peerin at her wif his wun gud eye an twyin to fokus, his widdle Loppy-boy hed goin up an down as he's twyin to take inna site. Cos dis babe is cobbered in currants! Dere's ebben wun stuck to da end obb'er ear!

So he reaches obber an wicks a current offa Poet. An she noses in cwose an wicks a current offa Hunny's eyebwow. An preddy soon dere's a gwoom-fest goin on -da furst boluntary gwoomfest dat I ebber seed dat didn inbolb Poet chasin Hunny down, pinnin him toda floor an gibbin hima cwean. Dere siddin togedder side-by-side, pikin currants offa each udder wun-atta-time an lubbin it.

So Maman seed dis, an you kin see da smoke risin outta her ears while she finkin so hard, an she goes ober to Beebe an Clober an sprinkles currants all ober dem. Sure enuf, da currants stick to dem, too. Beebe issa mainwy white widdle bunny an when Maman geds fru wif'im, he wooks wike he's cobbered in pooties, bud lemme tell you, he nebber wooked so good to Clober! Onna udder paw, she issa big 'Gouti bun, so Beebe hadda wook rilly hard to seeda currants dat wuz stuck to her. Bud he'sa persistant widdle guy, speshully when it comes to Tweats, so he spenta day bouncin afta her, cweanin her fur for her. An Clober issa big gurl.

Den Missy was wookin kinda scruffy, Maman sed, so Maman sprinkled her wif currants, which Missy didn fink wuz attall funny. It 'nnoyed her, an she spenta rest obba day gwoomin herself, wookin fru her coat for currants. Den SnoBall godda dose obb'em, an Luckie, an Mouse an den Maman dwopped a few on my hed for good measure.

Maman wif wunna her "good ideas" issa pain inna butt!

Which bwings me toda Rice Chex. Dey are gud for you an dey don stick to nuffin. Dey aren't as sweet assa currants, bud dey are nice. Berry crunchy. Just watch da crumbs. If dey fall onna floor, wet dem go. If you snuffle afta dem, dey go up your nosey, you gedda snootfull an den you sneeze. Habbin Maman sepprate dem innu hafs is best. Den dere are no crumbs.

So sumtimes Maman's "good ideas" issn' so bad. Depends onna idea an how weird she's bein.

Dis issa gud subjek. I will type more on tweats tomorry.

Fank you, Auntie Paula, for bemindin me to tawk to me aboud dis!

Posted by Our Warren at 9:10 AM EST

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Day Eighteen / First Strand
I'm bak agin. Dis reggylarity fing issn werkin oud wike I fought it wuld. Too menny fings keep gettin inna way.

Mostwy id is fings. Fings dat brek.

Yestidday it wassa 'puter. I nosebonked da button to turn id on, bud id didn turn on. So I nosebonked id agin. Id just sat dere, wookin big. Preddy soon Maman comed awong an poked attit, bud id didn stawt, so she poked it agin an den called Dadda. Dadda poked it a coupla times an it didn werk, so he taked it apawt.

Den it rilly didn werk.

Den I tried Dadda's 'puter, bud id don wike me. I typed da blog, bud it wost it, so I jus said ta heck wiffit an went uppystairs to habba nap. Fings always wook bedder afta a nap, you know?

Dere are jus some days dat are no gud for ennyfing. Rabbits know dis; hoomins don't, so hoomins insist on strugglin wif da usewess days. We bunnies know bedder. Iffa day stawts oud usewess, datssa way its goin to go.

Assa gen'ral Rool, a day is bigger den you are. Oncet its onna downward slide, dere's preddy much notta whole wot you kin do aboud it, 'cept ride wiffit. So if you're gonna ride, you mite as well be comfy!

Maman hassa'nudder rool on usewess days, too. When fings are gen'rally hedin downhill an nuffin she's doin is goin rite, she ushally says, "Gib up, stoopid. You've screwed uppa nuf fings for wun day."

Which is preddy much troo.

Da more fings she screws up in wun day, da more fings she hasta unscrew da day afta. Alla more rezon for habbin a nap, as faras I kin see.

I fink dat if hoomins had more naps, dere wuld be wess trubble inna werld. Ob course, dat fits in wif my oberall philosophy dat if hoomins wuz more wike bunnies dere wuld be a wot wess trubble inna werld. Bud onna whole, I fink naps gib you wess scope to ged innu trubble.

Jus fink, iffa day is goin bad an hoomins is habbin pwoblems wif ebberyfing, den doesn't it make sense to habba nap an see if fings aren't enny bedder inna few hourz? I don mean dat if you run innu ONE fing, just go habba nap an ebberyfing will be gweat, I mean onna day when you can't do right for bein wrong (as Dadda says) you rilly need to habba bweak inna ackshun. Gib stuff time to seddle. Habba nap an see if mebbe da day has ironed itself oud a widdle. Mebbe it needed a bweak, too. You nebber know, bud fings always wook justa widdle bit bedder afta a nap.

I've also noticed dat hoomins don take dere own adbice. Wike onna day when you say, "I shulda stayed in bed." Well, mebbe you shulda.

Wike dis mess iwffa 'puter. Dadda fought da turney-on switch was broke, so he taked it alla'pawt an touched da two wires togedder, bud dat didn't help. Da 'puter still didn't turn on. So he taked more stuff apawt. No wuck. So he taked oudda box frumma back obba 'puter an went toda store. Turns oud datta power source box wiffa fan on inna big box nextest toda pikchur box didn werk. So Dadda bought a noo wun. Den he comed home an putted alla pieces obba 'puter back inside obba big box dat sits nextest toda pikchur box.

Den he was goin to pusha button to turn id on, but he'd fortygotten dat he'd bwokin da button when he furst taked da 'puter apawt. An he was "so tired oud" he told Maman, dat when he went toda store to buya noo power box wiffa fan, he'd fortygetted to buy a noo button.

"Tired oud." Dat's whut he sed. I herd him.

So cos he was "tired oud", now I can't stawt da 'puter wiffa hed-butt toda button ennymore. I gotta waid now until sumbun wiffa 'posable thumbs comes by so dey can touch da two wires togedder dat is hangin outta da hole inna box where da button used to be.

Whut Dadda *shuld* hab dun was habba nap when fings weren't goin well. Den he wuld hab bemembered to gedda button.

Posted by Our Warren at 12:36 PM EST

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Day Sebbenteen / First Strand
Well, yestidday did it - da Dragon downnastairs inna Bazement where we nebber go up an died. Turns oud, doh, dat Hunny wuz wrong: it wassn't alibe an it wassn a Dragon after all. It wassa machine an it was brokin.

How do I know dis frum onwy bein wun foot offa floor? Heh - I know cos I heered it all. Da guys frumma oil comp'ny camed, dey stomped fru da houz, dey broughtted tools dat clanked an went downnastairs. Den Dadda went downnastairs. Den alla dem togedder tawked an muddered.

Maman didn go down dere. She wuz uppastairs huddled in her coat ober her nitegown. She'd bin up all nite siddin by da widdle 'lektrick heeders, wipin her nooz wiffa tissues, dwinkin dat "coffee" stuff outta her bunny mug an reedin da noospapers frum Inkland to me. She told me in no unsertin terms whut she fought aboudda fing downnastairs. She called it "da heeder" an whut she wuz sayin makes me know dat whutebber dat fing is, it issa FING an notta creatchur. Cos my Maman nebber tawks aboud nuffin dat's alibe da way she tawked aboud dat "heeder" fing.

I twied to be powite an wissen to ebberfing Maman wuz sayin. I rilly did. I'm gud dat way, cos I'm an Inkwish Spot bunny an we're powite, an wike hoomin innerackshun - bud after siddin in Maman's coat wif her, I sort ob snuggled down, pud my ears down an preddy soon I keeped catchin myself snorin (Maman calls it "buzzin") an den, I'd waked myself up an shift aroun an twy to be powite again, bud den it wuz nice an warm, an Maman's boice wuz dere sort ob dronin on, reedin a' noos frum Inkwand where she usta lib an I don bemember cos I wassn' dere, an preddy soon, I'd be buzzin again...

And den I'd wake up. Inna meentime, it wuz geddin colder an colder outsidda coat. I could tell dis by my nose dat wuz stickin oud. Oncet a cat comed by to see iffa inside obba coat wuz ockkypied. Id wassa widdle wun, KayCee, an she jus pud her paws up an wooked an I wooked back wike, "Yeah, whut?" an she went away. Cos I wuz dere furst. Good fing it wassn da Fat Cat, cos iffit wuz Cokie, he jus duzza Hail Mary jump frumma floor cos he finks enny wap dat wooks opin is his - an den dere wuld hab beena mess, cos I don pud up wif his nonsense. Wast time him an me tangled, he went rollin butt-ober-tip oud innu da hallway.

Ennyway, da widdle cat leebed us awone an I went back to buzzin an Maman went back to reedin ussa noos frum Inkwand inna cold.

Den aboud my normal wakin up time, Maman an me had sum tweats an I god down, budda floor wuz cold, so I god back up. No sense in wettin da catz habba unused wap. So we redda noos sum'more while I hada cween an broosh'up an den Maman began tellin me 'bouda "heeder".

Id issa fing. Id costs munny. Id is preddy owd cos Maman had it boughted when she anna furst husbund (who is ded or sumfing) boughtted da houz. Id don owe us nuffin. Heeders costa "fort'chune", an id wuz bedder when she libbed in Inkwand cos she hadda firepwace da wuz berry warm an she anna bunny dat she had dere usta sweep inna libbin room when it wuz berry cold an fortyged sweepin inna bedrooms. Dere wuz no "downnastairs" an ennyways, Maman is skert ob downnastairs, an skert obba heeders, an why da hell don' we all jus moob back to Inkwand an be dun wiffit?

Well, yeah, I'd wike to know dat, too, budda ansurs were not forthcomin wast nite. Hoomins is stwange datway. Dey axt a bunny a wotta qwestshuns an den don gib enny ansurs. Or else dey gib you an ansur dat don mak enny sense. It's wike dey expects you to know whut dey are finkin.

So I just agreed wiff'er an kept on wif my wash an broosh-up while siddin on her wap. It's best dis way. You sit wiff'em wong enuf, an dey ebenchually 'splain fings bedder.

Keep your ears up an wisten. Dat's whut I did whenna guys frumma oil comp'ny came around noon. Maman wuz so tired dat she wuz almost buzzin in her chair, bud I wuz preddy awake, an I culd heer dem inna downnstairs wif Dadda. So afta dey all hada mumble, dere wassa wotta clangin an bonging, an tool noises, an preddy soon da guy dat wikes me comed uppastairs an fiddled wiffa "heeder box" onna wall, an sed, "Dat'll do 'er."

Den Dadda gabe dem munny an dey went away.

An a widdle while afta dat, I heered da pipes makin noise an da houz began tickin an crackin wike it allus does. I wen back uppystairs toda Warren an I told Hunny, "No Dragon inna basement. Itsa fing dat wuz broke."

An he sed datta salads were disappoitin an who da heck had frown his tin cup in his fud bowl?

So dat's da story ob yestidday. Dere are no Dragons inna Bazement, doh.

Day Sixy-teen / First Strand
As I telled you bifore, bein a bunny means libbin inna Warren an doin fings Alla Us Togedder. No bunny is ebber On Alone when you lib inna Warren. Dis is why Warren lif issa best lif dat dere is.

Rite now, lif in Our Warren is preddy compwykated, whut wif Our SnoBall ExFoster bein sik an all. He's home frumma hospital, bud Maman an me an Missy-Bun is still preddy bizzy nursin him. He is eetin an pootyin, an dees are bof berry possytib signs inna bunny. Bud he is still sik.

So my wun ob my bestest friends has offered to help me tidday when I rilly need help. Dis issa bunny way, da Alla Us Togedder way. My friend's name is Hazel an she libs in anudder Warren wif her Mawmie, Dadda, an brudders an sistah bunnies an well, yes, dey also hab catz an ebben a dawg in dere Warren. Hazel issa 'nudder Church Bunny an pard obba Gweat Warren to which Alla Bunnies inna Werld belong (dis issa Gweater Lagomorphin Communnyniddy) an she has gwaciouswy offered to be da berry furst GUEST BLOGGER for Our Warren! Dis is why I am tellin you 'boud her, cos she issa bizzy rabbit, bud she is takin her time to help me, to help demmy'stwate da concept ob doin fings Alla Us Togedder.

Hazel issa Flemish Giant, a berry 'peshul kind ob bunny, wike a Inkwish Spot (which is me) onwy bigger. Our Hazel issa redhed, anna Top Bun in her Warren, anna Chawta Member ob RIFRAF, wike SA, who hassa wink to his blog obber dere onna weft-hand side ob my blog heer. Don't fortyget to bisit wif SA an his Warren when you leeb heer!

Fank you, Hazel for bein my frien' an bein pard ob God's Gweat Warren, an Alla Us Togedder who are innit. Habbin you type inna blog an tellin us 'boud your life wun-foot-offa-ground issa honour an I'm rilly gwad dat you did dis. You are a bunderful friend!

Heer is Hazel's Blog for tidday:
***
Dis is Hazel Best. I am sittin? in for da wunnerful Bewinda onna blog tedda. Bewinda gots sum probwems inner warren she needs to atten too so I am hewe to tawk to da bunnee people for her.

I wunner what dis is ?bout da hoomins?..sumtimes da got wadder dat comes outta dere faces. Ewww! It seems to happen when dey are sad, or when dey are scared or wurreed or hert. Hmmmmm?..I dunno ?bout dis ? I hab seen my momma do dis ting dey call cwying sumtimes too. All I know is dat de onwy time I hab wadder runnin? outta my face is when I eat da gwapes and dey is real jewcee; but den I am not sad, I am purty happy cause I hab da grapes!

I fink dat we shud pwoblee teach da hoomins dere are udder ways of fixin? fings udder dan cwyin bout it. I know lotta ob da time dey cwy when someone else is hert or sick ? does dat make dem feel better? I dunno ? I don?t fink it does ? but dey do it awot. One time when I was inna V-E-T dey had to cut on my froat and get out sum en-fek-shun ? momma was cwying but I dunno why ?cause I was gittin? da bad stuff out --- I was happy ? but she was cwying and cwying. It did hert a widdle, but den I stawted to feel better and better. I wunner if it was cause she was cwying dat I felt better.

I know when da bunneez are scared, we fump??when we are hert??.we hide or fump??when we are sad; we hide or fump; when we are mad we fump??and when we are happy we binkee.

Come to fink of it ? does hoomins dey cwy when dey are happy too? Now dat is stwange. How can you tell what de pwoblem is if dey cwy for all weesons?

I axted my momma why da hoomins cwy wike dat and she sed, "?cause ob LUUVV!" LUB!? What?s dat gotta dew wif it? Den she sed cause when de hoomins lub sumfin dey care a wot and dat makes dem cwy.

I fink da bunneez and da hoomins can teach udder a fing or two. Tell you what??.we can teach da hoomins to binkee when dey are happee and to do udder fings when dey are sad.

But den when dere is an empty pwace inna warren how will we know dat da hoomins still wuv the one dat?s not hewe? We will know when dey cwy ? we will know dat dey lub the one dat is missin?

Dis is Hazel ? Get well soon Snoball ?

**sniff**sniff** we lub you! And will do da binkee when you get home!

Day Fifteen / First Strand
Wow. Yestidday wassa bad day. SnoBall Foster godda name change (agin - he's now SnoBall ExFoster, cos he's stayin here for gud) an den he hadda go toda V-E-T hospidal an stay obernite! Id wassa berry bad day, so I didn ged to post ennyfing heer.

Wun fing: Whenna bunny geds sik, we ged sik fast an dere is no time for goofin aroun, wonderin whut to do. We're kinda private 'boud bein sik, cos when you is prey, you kin nebber show weakness. Rabbits is allus prey an dat is hard-wired innu us: we habba prey-mentality frum when we wuz wild. We don show illness if we kin help it, so when SnoBall stawted to feel an upset tummy goin on, he didn say nuffin. He jus stopped eatin. An when he didn eat, he didn pootie. Dis is sumfing Maman noticed rite away.

Now hoomins who hab bunnies are berry interested in pooties. I told you 'bout Maman bein interested in cleanin. Well, her interest in cleanin is rilly based on her interest in pooties. Dis is cos pooties in hoomin society are nuffin wike da Pootie Cultchur in Lagomorphin Society. Hoomins don hab ennyfing to do wif dere pooties an dat's all I know boud dem cos dey don wet you know ennyfing aboud dem. Dey are as sekretib as catz aboud pooties.

Howebber pooties inna Lagomorphin Society habba whole Cultchur all ob dere own.

For one fing, id is powite to leab a pile ob pooties when bisitin a noo rabbit inna warren. Dis is a "callin card", wettin da noo bunny know who you is an, more 'portantly, where da noo bunny ranks inna system. Da higher you are inna Warren, da more pooties you leeb. Bein Hed Rabbit heer, I kin leeb a big pile ob pooties outside a noo bunny's home. A thoughtful Hed Bun will pile dees up inna neet pyramid shape inna prommy'nit lokashun, bud sumtimes, 'speshully iffa Hed Bunny issa male, he'll ged all 'cited an leeb a pafway just aboud paved wiff'em. Howebber you choose to do it, dis is onwy powite cos id tells da udder bunny dat you is in charge an dat he or she is welkome inna warren as long as dey know dat you are da Hed ob It. Id is also powite to leeb a "calling card" each time you bisit.

Now iffa noo bunny hassa idee dat dey are preddy impawtant, dey will returna fabour by leebin a pile ob pooties outside ob your habbytat. Dis means WAR. Itsa challenge to your authority assa Hed Bun when sumbun goes an leebs pooties on your door step. It means you gotta go, at your furst oppy'tunity, to leeb a pile ob pooties on dere door step. An it had bedder be a bigger pile den dey left for you.

Biggest pile wins. Topping da pile off wiffa smelly cecal is extry points. Spraying da whole fing down wif pee (an I'm berry gud at dis!) is a whole wotta extry points. Spraying dem down usuhally means dat Maman is gonna gib you "Time Out" an no playtime, which issn't fair cos she don unnerstan dat dis is rilly impawtant communykashun inna Pootie Cultchur an not jus whut she calls "bloody-mindedness" among bunnies.

A welcome can become an insult preddy quick, you'll notice. Stayin atta Top obba Warren take stamina, concentrashun an good contwol. I gott'em all.

Pooties are also da OnStar or MapQuest obba Lagomorphin Society. Hoomins needa 'puter anna whole lotta 'lektronics to find dere way around. Bunnies don't. We just need our butts anna supply ob fresh timofey hay. When moobin akrost noo terrytory, just droppa pootie ebbery few hops an you kin easily find your way back to da Warren. Ebben if some dum hoomins is followin you, pickin pooties up while you is puttin dem down, da smell ob fresh pooty will linger for awhile, enabling you to ged home as long as you don stay oud too wong.

Sum hoomins twy to confoozle you an pudda fresh pooties inna houzpwants up on tabuls. An den dey wonder whut we're doin up onna tabul. Well, geez!

I ebben know of wun poor bunny whose mawmie puds his fresh pooties inna houzplants, onna tabuls, den when he geds up onna tabul, finds interestin fud dat she weft onna tabul, which he eets cos it's dere - an den she blames HIM! I mean, come on, Wady! You moobed da pooties inna furst pwace! All datta bunny did was goof on his way back toda warren, an take a detour to fud datta mawmie weft for him. How da heck is dat his fault dat he ate whut he was detoured to?

Hoomins just don geddit. Do you know dat sum person ebben suggested dat I tie a stwing to my tail an reel id in if I wanted to know where I wuz? Why bodder? I got pooties! If God had wanted me to hab a ball ob stwing on my butt, He wuld hab gibben me wun, but I god pooties instead. Dat shuld cloo her in, y'know? Besides, pooties are much more eco-friendly. Dere bio-degwadable an gud for pwants. Stwing mainly issn't.

Ennyway, da V-E-T called Maman dis mornin an SnoBall is fine now. His tummy ache is gone an he's pootying uppa storm, Maman sed. Well, I shouldn't wunder. He's inna strange pwace an he's leebin "calling cards" for all he's worf, poor guy.

We're berry powite here at Our Warren.