Day One / Sekond Strand
Dis issa furst day obba sekond strand.

I need sum help here for wunna my bestest friends, SA, Da Don, who is inna Hospiddle.

SA's blog is winked to mine, an I'm sure dat alla you reed his "Rabbit Journal" boud him an his wimmins, Spooky an Hermionee. Well, yestidday, SA stopped eatin, which fora bunny issa berry bad fing, an aldoh he was still pootyin, he wassn doin his normal, famous pooties dat comprise da feared Pootyhawk Missul, bud nasty poops dat meen his tummy is not well. So his mawmie taked him toda V-E-T anna reg'lar V-E-T sent him toda 'Peshulist Hospiddle, where he is habbin medysin, an ebberyfing to ged his gut moobin again.

Bunnies habba berry dellykat digestib system. We hab two tummies, ackchually, anna wong wine ob intestins so dat we can pwocess hay. Dis whole fing hasta be kept moobin alla time. If it geds bwocked up, den we kin die. We can't frow up, so we can't choke uppa hairball wike catz, but we gwoom wike catz, an sumtimes alla hair anna hay ged mixtup an form a blockage. An dat's when we need help frumma V-E-T to ged fings down dere moobin again. Dis is whut was wrong wif SnoBall ExFoster a coupla weeks ago an whut is wrong wif SA now.

So SA needs prayers an good thoughts and healin energy - which is all preddy much da same fing - to be sent his way. So if alla hoomins an buns ob goodwill culd direkt dere good foughts, for just wun moment, toward wun pwace, to just wun bunny... fink how much good dat wuld do! Alla dat possytib energy flowin in wun direktshun, toward wun specifik pwace. It wuld be wika 'lektrick current hedin straight to wun pwace. Wike lightin.

So, I'm axtin ebberybun who is reedin dis Blog to siddown an fink sumfing gud aboudda Bunny. Fink ob SA's widdle gut moobin awong nicely, pushin fru hay innu pooties an widdle pooties poppin outta back end ob SA wif gweat reggylarity.

Could you do dat? Pwease? Id'll onwy take you a few sekonds. Not much. Just fink obba nice bunny who don't feel too gud, an no-madder whut you belieb or don't belieb, just fink sumfing possytib. Cos I fink datta Creator wikes to heer possytib fings, an I fink datta Creator wikes us to werk alla us togedder.

Alla Us Togedder issa way obba Warren. An we are alla Warren, alla us togedder. Wun Big Warren, made up obba wotta widdle warrens spwead all obber da pwace, bud togedder makin up Wun Big Warren. I fink dat's whut da werld rilly is - Wun Big Warren. Dat's how we was Created. Dat is how we are 'sposed to be. A Warren issa possytib fing. Id is Alla Us Togedder werkin to take care ob ebberybun, so nobun is ebber OnAlone. OnAlone issa terrible fing - id means dat you hab nobunny an nobunny has you - bud bein pawt obba Warren means dat you are safe wiffa udder bunnies, ebberybunny carin for ebbery udder bunny, werkin togedder, addin alla our strengths togedder to minnymize our weeknesses.

Dis is how we wuz created. Dat's da 'tellygence behinda Creatshun. Da 'tellygence dat made us small an week as indybiduals has made us gweat an stwong assa gwoup. Dat Creator knew a wot more den we do, an gabe us dis 'cobery to figger oud. Rabbits figgered it oud awong time ago: Wife issa Warren. Wun Big Warren

So pwease be pawt obba Warren. Take sum time tidday to send sum possytib energy to SA.

I'll wet you know how he is as soon as I kin.

An fank you. Dis is berry impawtant to me an to Our Warren. Actchually, dis is berry impawtant to ebberybun: whut affekts wun ob us affekts us all. We are Wun Big Warren.

Day Twenty Free / First Strand
Hey Ebberybunny! Wook at dis! Ebberybunny point your browser to http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004042519,00.html and reed dis noos story! If dat don come up assa wink, jus copy it frum heer an paste it innu your browser winno an click "enter" an you'll go rite toda stowy. Or go to http://www.thesun.co.uk, and find da stowy frum dere. Search for it unner da name "Dory". Id is frum today's The Sun, a rilly big noospaper in Inkwand. Da stowy is aboud how a big houz bun named Dory sabed her Dadda's life! Id issa gweat stowy aboud a hero bunny! Dere issa pikchur ob Dory an her Dadda, too. Datsa fing, you know. Sabin hoomins libes is sumfing dat hoomins associate wif dawgs an sumtimes wif catz, but almost nebber wif bunnies, bud bunnies are smawter den most hoomins reelise. Dory knowed dat sumfing wuz wrong an she god help. It wuzzat simple. So dis is gonna be a short entry, cos I'm hopin dat you will go an reeda story boud Dory da Hero Bunny, an mebbe rebise your finkin aboud jus how smawt, an how 'pawtant houzrabbits can be! Here issa wink again: http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004042519,00.html

Day Twenty Two / First Strand
Maman reads a wotta buks. I digest a wotta buks. We gedda wong onna subjekt ob buks, den, cos dere are so menny ob dem inna houz.

So when dere wassa series ob buks called "His Dark Materials" dat comed oud, Maman taked a wook.

Den she fought aboud whut dis perzon typed inna buks. An she red whut da writer-perzon sed inna interbiews inna noospapers. Maman hasta be fair. She sed dat dis is whut akademiks twy to do - be fair - unwess dey hab to justify dere positions or pubwish or sumfing. She says she don hab to justify nuffin to nobunny an kin say whut she wants. She geds feisty wike dis cos she is small.

Ennyway, she dumped da "His Dark Materials" buks inna recyklin bin an sed I culdn't digest dem.

"Sum fings, " She told me, "Gib bunnies a mental tummy ache."

So I putted my paws up onna habbytat an axted her howcome. She opined uppa habbytat door so I culd come oud an sit inna wap wif her an she satted down an splained to me dat sum buks is just bad cos dey are typed badly; udders are bad cossa perzon dat typed dem can't tella stowy to sabe dere wife. And den, she sed, dere are buks dat are typed dat are one fing dat pwetend to be anudder - wike history buks dat make up "facks" insted ob just wistin whut rilly happined an stuff wike dat.

Seems dat dis perzon dat typed da "His Dark Materials" buks didn't tell da troof aboud wun obba buks dat Maman reeded when he gabe a innerbiew. He sed dat inna buks called "Narnia" dis character named "Susan" gots frown outta Heaven cos she wiked lipstick. Da guy sed dat dat dere is no Rainbow Bridge, dere is nopwace to go after da Bwack Rabbit comes, an dat da guy who writed Narnia was stoopid. He scared widdle hoomins by excloodin Susan frum Heaven cos she growed up an went fru normal "adolecense" innu adulthood. Dat whutta "His Dark Materials" guy sed datta "Narnia" guy sed.

Which issn't troo.

Susan wassn't pawt obba Narnia idea obba Heaven cos she choose not to be pawt ob it, not cos she was frown oud. She choosed to fortyged dat dere ebben was or had ebber been a pwace called "Narnia". She rejected Heaven; Heaven didn' reject her.

Da perzon who writed da "His Dark Materials" buks is makin a statement bouda buk he misunnerstood an is spreadin aboud a stowy dat issn't troo. Just to mak his buk seem bedder den id is. Or to mak whut he belibs wook more "friendly" den id is.

Now da onwy way dat udder hoomins is goin to unnerstan datta "His Dark Mateerials" guy is wrong is if dey go an reed alla "Narnia" buks, an den reed alla "Dark Materials" buks an compare - bud who is goin to go to alla dat trubble? Maman don fink dat menny hoomins will. She finks dat cossa guy who typed da "Narnia" buks is ded, an gone to da Rainbow Bridge, dere is rilly nobun aroun to tell aboud whut he finked. An heers dis guy wif "His Dark Materials" buk to be sold, an he's inna alla noospapers, tawkin a wot an gibbin innerbiews. An cossa "Narnia" guy issn't heer, he can't say ennyfing.

So Maman sed itsa wot wike da perzons who type da history buks dat say dis Hitler guy dida gud fing or dat dem Nazi guys wuz framed. Dey kin all make up "facks" now, when dere are hardwy enny udder hoomins around to tell whut rilly happened. Dey can type all kinds ob buks an fill up whole liberries wif stuff. dat issn't troo cos dere is nobunny heer dat bemembers whut rilly went on.

Bud sumwhere, da troof wies quiet.

An sumwhere, da troof is still typed oud, an id is dere to be digged out an digested. Budda diggin takes werk, an sumtimes hoomins don wanna doda werk.

Finkin takes werk, too. Dis guy who typed "His Dark Materials" is hopin dat no wun will be diggin or finkin, or bememberin whut dey reeded inna Narnia guy's buks. He's hopin dat hoomins were too young to unnerstand whut dey wuz reedin an fortygetted or didn unnerstan Narnia, so dat whut he says now will sound so much more "growed up" an "'dult" an "reasonable".

Bud he is wrong. Conclusions drawn frum misstated or made-up "facks" will always be wrong. You can't ged free frum puddin wun an wun togedder. Unwess you cheat. An statin stuff dat's wrong inna furst pwace, an den sayin you habba bedder idea is cheatin. An who knows where it wuld lead frum dere?

So Maman gotted rid obba buks before I culd ged my teef innu dem.

I don need a mental tummy ache.

Day Twenty Wun / First Strand
I'm wonderin how menny days dere are inna "Strand". I fink da 'riginal idea wasta habba "Strand" ebbery munf an to keep fings organnynized dat way. I dunno now whut I was finkin, bud since we are geddin to da end obba munf, an dis blog fing is still goin, I guess I bedder figger id oud.

Den again, organnyzashun is notta fing dat really is done well at Our Warren or at weast dat's whut Dadda sed wast nite. I will type 'boud dis.

Dere is no bedder way to fink aboud fings den when you is eatin. Wast nite wuzza preddy good Tweat Time. Dey are good fooders around heer.

Ob course Hunny feeled Dadda comin uppystairs furst.

You see, cos Hunny is so owd, he can't hardly see an he doesn't heer berry well, so he mostly hasta wisten wif his feets for bibrashuns inna floor. He's gottin preddy gud at dis. He kin "heer" Maman comin, an he kin "heer" Dadda an cos he is preddy gud at knowin whut time fings happen, he knows when to 'spect dat Dadda will be aribbin wiffa tweats.

So Dadda camed in furst wiffa 'nanners. We each godda seksun ob nanner. I gwabbed mine an ran toda back ob my habbytat. Missy just pwopped down an eated hers where she was. A wot ob us "runz wif froot" budda more serious-minded buns just eat it wherebber. Hunny an Missy are serious-minded aboud dere food - once dey find it, dat is.

Ennyways, while we was habbin nanner, Maman comed uppystairs wif salad. Preddy gud salad, too - wots ob choice. Wassn't no herbs, doh, cos dis issa Winter anna Farmers' Market is cwosed.

Den Dadda an Maman togedder bringed us big pillows ob timofey hay an cwean wadder.

And den, da organnyzashun dat is supposed to be goin on aroun heer wiffa hoomins breaked down.

Dadda went inna bedroom which is nextest door toda BunRoom, bud Maman stayed in wif us. Anna next fing I know, she's sayin to me,

"Didn't my Pooty Queen gedda tweats?"

Now I'm nod stoopid. Wike I'm gonna wook up heer an say, "Yeah Wady, I hadda nanner an I'm full." Dat'll happen.

So I just wooked at her an waggled my ears, which always seems to make Maman smile. Den I twiched my nosey att'er. An I made buzzy noises an came ober toda front gate obba habbytat an pud my paws up onnit wike I do when I'm axtin her for sumfing.

So Maman goes an gedsa bag ob Craisins anna next fing I know, she's handed outta Craisins to ebberybun! So I gwab mine an run of toda back ob my habbytat, an Missy sets down an gobbles hers up outta Maman's hand, an Poet an Hunny are fallin all ober each odder cos Hunny's figgered oud whut's goin on an wike a dummy, told Poet an she's all 'cited cos she geds dat way, an nextest door to dem, Maman's feedin Craisins to Beebe an Clober. It's Pandamonium Inna Bun Room! Bud dat's aboud normal, issn't id.

So wike she does, Maman calls Dadda. Will he help her to feed da two owd fools so dey don hurt each odder fallin all ober da pwace.

An Dadda's wike, "Whut? I jus gab alla bunnies nanner..."

An Maman stops an wooks straight ahed, an you kin see her finkin - an Hunny an Poet are still goin round an round in cirkuls all frantik, bud you know she issn't seein dem at all - an den you see Maman's eye widen a widdle, an she gibs dis widdle half-sigh an you know datta widdle light-bulb obber her hed is now switched on, alluminatin da fakt dat she's dupleekatin tweats.

An da udder fakt dat's beein alluminated is dat it's too wate to stop now.

So Maman gibbed sum Craisins to Mouse an Luckie an SnoBall an den dere are da two Senior Buns, still goin nuts. So Maman geds Craisins in bof hands an bends ober dere habbytat. Well, two ob ennyfing makes Hunny crayzee cos he can't figger oud which wun he's 'sposed to go to an he can't dibide himself in half an go to bof. So he just winds himself into a tight cirkul an spins aroun an aroun. An Poet can't see da end obber nose an don know where da Crasins end an Maman's hand begins. So Hunny spinned full-tilt into Maman's hand an spilled Craisns ebberywhere an Poet bitted her...

An by da time Maman stopped Hunny spinnin, an god him pointed toward da Craisins dat wuz onna floor, Dadda had aribbed an got Poet turned aroun an god her nose-down inna Craisins, too. So dat wuz good.

An onna way oud obba Bun Room, just as dey wuz shuttin offa wite, I heered Dadda tell Maman dat whut dey needa do wasta werk on "organnyzashun".

I dunno, I fink she's hokay. For now.

Day Twenty / First Strand
As SA, my friend who types Da Rabbit Journal, has noted, Tweats issa berry 'pawtant subjek, if not *de* most pawtant subjek aroun for diskusshun.

Rite now, I seeina wotta blogs typin boud pollytiks, boud bein Deanites, an Kerryites, an Gen'ralites, an ABB's, bud atta end obba day, dos guys will come an go, bud tweats will remain. When it comes to comfort, you kin fortyged your pollytishins. Dey is notta comfortyable bunch. Stick wif tweats an you'll nebber be wet down.

Yestidday I menshuned Rice Chex assa fabourite tweat, an tidday I mean to type aboud Cherrios assa nudder fabourite tweat. Cherrios is small, round an dey come in big boxes so you kin hab wots. Dere are also no crumbs. Whut's not to wike? Dey are good for you cos dey don habba wotta sugar an cos dey is made frum Oats.

Oats is anudder tweat. Hunny geds Oat Groats cos he issa Owd Bun an hassa maintain his weight, bud Oat Groats habba wotta fat inn'em, anna rest ob us don ged to hab dem 'cept on speshul okayshuns.

We do ged Oat Hay sumtimes in addition to Timofey Hay. Oat Hay is berry tasty an I wish we culd ged more obbit, bud Maman can't allus find it inna Feed Store cos it's not common hay. Common hay issa stuff dat can be boughtted almost ennywheres dat hay is sold. Id is ushually Alfalfa Hay an it arribes inna store in bags frum menny dif'frunt pwaces, even frum sumpwace called Cannyda. Sum obba Alfalfa Hay an Timofey hay is bedder den udders: sum has seeds in, some wooks wike nuffin bud straw! We ged bales obbit frumma reel farmer an our hay smells sweet an fresh an it has no dust or ennyfing wike you kin ged in dose widdle bags obbit frumma Feed Store.

Now heer's a fing. Maman knows da farmer who grows hay. He'sa nice guy, gots kids, a bunch ob wand, a houz an sum horzez (dees are big rabbits wif short ears an hard feets. Dey pull carts an stuff). Dis guy werks hard. He hassa wotta munny tied up inna 'quipment to grow fings, wike hay, which he grows an sells. Bein a farmer is his whole wife an werk. Its whut he went to school to wearn how to do an whut he lubs doin.

He buys seeds, pwants da seeds, makes sure datta seeds grow (dere issa wotta whut's called "science ob aggyculchur" in dis dat he hadda go to school for) an den werks wong hours to harbest da hay. He sells da hay for aboud sebben dollars ob munny to Maman fora whole bale ob timmy hay. A whole bale ob timmy hay weighs more den Maman can carry an takes up almost da whole trunk obba Buick car. An dis costs Maman sebben dollars in munny. Bemember dis.

Now, if Maman goes toda Feed Store, dere are widdle bags ob hay dat Maman kin buy. Dey are small enuf dat she kin carry FOUR ob dem bags wif wun hand. An each wun obba bags costs fibe dollars in munny! Fur wun bag! Fibe dollars in munny for wun widdle bag. Bemember dis, too.

Now Maman's friend issn't rich. He doesn't hab a wotta dollars in munny. Bein a farmer an growin hay doesn't gib him a wotta dollars to buy fings. When he sells his hay bales toda Big Company, he don ebben ged sebben dollars for each bale. He geds WESS dollars. Da guy who hassa Feed Store issn't rich, eidder. He don godda wotta dollars. Budda widdle hay-bags dat he sells costs a wotta dollars dat he gibs back toda Big Company dat buyed dem offa da farmers.

So sumwhere awong da way, dere ara wotta dollars ob munny bein made dat are not goin toda hoomins who did alla werk onna Timofey hay!

Da Feed Store Guy doesn't habba wotta dollars. Da Farmer Guy doesn't habba wotta dollars. Budda widdle bag ob hay costs a wotta dollars. So where are alla dollars? Maman don gotta dollars, dat's for sure.

I don know aboudda Big Company, bud it seems to me dat dey don do much, 'cept buy da hay fora few dollars frumma Farmer Guy, an den sell it fora wotta dollars toda Feed Store Guy. So how come da Big Company is geddin alla dollars? Whut are dey doin toda hay dat is so speshul dat dey are geddin alla dollars?

I fink da farmers shuld ged more obba dollars ob munny for alla werk dat dey do. Dey seem to habba most to do wiffa hay. Da wrong hoomins are geddin too menny dollars for not doin enuf obba werk. Da hay-bags shuldn't cost menny more dollars, budda Big Company shuldn't be keepin so menny obba dollars for demselbs. Dey shuld gib more toda farmers who do alla werk, an keep a smaller share forda Big Company. Den da farmers wuld be able to grow more timofey hay an mebbe hab sum munny to put inna few acres ob Oat Hay, you know?

Den dere wuld be more Oat Hay, an dat wuld mean more tweats. I fink dere shuld be more tweats. Not cossa bein gweedy, bud cos we all need more 'peshul times durin da day. It wuld brighten fings up, knowin dat dere are more tweats comin. Kind ob make more fings to wook forward toward.

Wet's face id, tweats make your mouf happy. Tweats make YOU happy. If you culd gib yourself a tweat ebbery time you did sumfing gud, den you wuld do more gud stuff to ged more tweats. Den ebberybun wuld be doin more and more good fings to ged more an more tweats.

Dis culd werk. Fink aboud it.

Werk hard. Habba tweat fora reward. Den werk hard. Habba reward. Werk. Tweat. Werk. Tweat.

It culd get to bea habbit.

An all if we culd make tweats more plentiful by gibbin farmers more munny.

Sumbun rilly shuld wook innu dis. Whut'cha fink?

Day Nineteen / First Strand
Now heer's a subjek: Rice Chex.

You know dem, da crunchy widdle squares ob mainwy air dat come inna bloo an white box. Hoomins refer to dem unner da broad heedin ob "Cer'wal", bud in Lagomorphin, dey are classed unner da ebben broader heedin ob "Tweats".

Tweats are not Food. Food is whut is dere, alla time, dat you eat whedder you wike it or not. Mostwy, it is gud for you. Da way to find oud if sumfing is food is to twy it. If you kin eat it an it's allus dere, id is food. If id is rilly good an onwy arribes at 'peshul times, accompanied by songs, dances an udder ebents, den itsa Tweat. Tweats make your mouf happy.

Sum tweats are hard to eat, bud worf da effort. Yo-Gurt an punkin are wike dat. Dey arribe on "spoons" -sticks wif flat ends - an you gotta wick da gob ob stuff offa end obba spoon. Dis kin be twicky sumtimes. Moob your hed wrong or misjudge your distance wiffa nosey, an you kin end up wearin most obba tweat. Dis is hokay as you kin sab sum for waider an gwoom it off atchur leezure. Sum tweats kin wast fora whole day dat way.

Sum Tweats are sticky. Maman found dees Zante Currants inna store an bwinged dem home for us. Dey're a widdle wike raisins, onwy smaller an stickier, bud dere BERRY sweet. Almost as sweet as dried blooberries, an dat's berry sweet. Dried blooberries ara Cwistmass Tweat dat onwy seem to come frum dat Santa Claws guy dat I nebber seen (a figmint ob Maman's 'maginashun. Dat woman hassa wotta figmints.). Where he geds dem is ennybunny's guess. Bud he gibs dem to Maman an she gibs dem to us inna mornin afta Church. Blooberries are formal: Maman hasta be dwessed up to gib dem to us. I don know why.

We hadda Zante Currants da udder day. Maman comed in wiffa box ob dem, an ob course, I gotted mine furst. Cos Maman wuz comin in atta dif'frunt time ob day, Hunny an Poet haddn't figgered oud dat dere were enny tweats comin, so dey were still sort ob just millin aroun in dere habbytat while I was eatin. I didn' say ennyfing cos my mouf was full an its not polide to tawk wif your mouf full. So dey didn't know aboudda tweats. Dey are berry owd rabbits an can't see or smell dat gud, aldouh Hunny hassa preddy gud bocabulary an knows alla tweat werds an can rekinize most tweats when he kin gedd'um in fokus. Bud his nose doesn't werk berry well ennymore, so Maman kin sometimes ged innu da Bun Room wif tweats an gib me mine before Hunny hassa cloo, which wuz whut wuz happenin wiffa currants. I wuz eatin mine rilly quiet-wike.

Den Missy suddenwy figgered oud whut was going on cos she seed me chewin an she hollars oud, "Tweats!" an scoots into her witter pan so she can be taller when she stands up to ged her share frum Maman.

Well, as soon as she sed it, Owd Hunny pops rite up on his back wegs, axtin, "Huh?" an dopey owd Poet, who is followin on cwose behind Hunny, knocks innu him an dey bof fall ober.

So ob course, rite away Maman leebs off gibbin me currants an hasta hurry ober to make sure datta owd fools habbent hurt demselbs. An as she's goin, she twips ober Mouse's habbytat (cos its crowded inna Bun Room wike you wouldn't belieb!) anna box ob currants goes flyin outta her hand.

So I'm watchin da box fly fru da air an I'm finkin, "Its goin in dere habbytat." an it does.

Da box ob currants wands onna edge obba habbytat anna currants come flyin oud, wike beez outta a'hibe, an dey wand on Poet an on Hunny. I fought dey wuld bounce off obb'em an wand onna floor wike raisins, an den dere wuld bea mad scramble to pik dem up, bud da currants didn't bounce. Dey stuck onto Poet an Hunny's fur. Wooked wike freckles. Or wike wrinkled pooties.

So dere's Poet wookin at Hunny an she's got dis wook on wike she's nebber had before (Poet's a nice gurl, bud she's notta brightest bud inna flower patch, if you catch my meanin.) an Hunny is peerin at her wif his wun gud eye an twyin to fokus, his widdle Loppy-boy hed goin up an down as he's twyin to take inna site. Cos dis babe is cobbered in currants! Dere's ebben wun stuck to da end obb'er ear!

So he reaches obber an wicks a current offa Poet. An she noses in cwose an wicks a current offa Hunny's eyebwow. An preddy soon dere's a gwoom-fest goin on -da furst boluntary gwoomfest dat I ebber seed dat didn inbolb Poet chasin Hunny down, pinnin him toda floor an gibbin hima cwean. Dere siddin togedder side-by-side, pikin currants offa each udder wun-atta-time an lubbin it.

So Maman seed dis, an you kin see da smoke risin outta her ears while she finkin so hard, an she goes ober to Beebe an Clober an sprinkles currants all ober dem. Sure enuf, da currants stick to dem, too. Beebe issa mainwy white widdle bunny an when Maman geds fru wif'im, he wooks wike he's cobbered in pooties, bud lemme tell you, he nebber wooked so good to Clober! Onna udder paw, she issa big 'Gouti bun, so Beebe hadda wook rilly hard to seeda currants dat wuz stuck to her. Bud he'sa persistant widdle guy, speshully when it comes to Tweats, so he spenta day bouncin afta her, cweanin her fur for her. An Clober issa big gurl.

Den Missy was wookin kinda scruffy, Maman sed, so Maman sprinkled her wif currants, which Missy didn fink wuz attall funny. It 'nnoyed her, an she spenta rest obba day gwoomin herself, wookin fru her coat for currants. Den SnoBall godda dose obb'em, an Luckie, an Mouse an den Maman dwopped a few on my hed for good measure.

Maman wif wunna her "good ideas" issa pain inna butt!

Which bwings me toda Rice Chex. Dey are gud for you an dey don stick to nuffin. Dey aren't as sweet assa currants, bud dey are nice. Berry crunchy. Just watch da crumbs. If dey fall onna floor, wet dem go. If you snuffle afta dem, dey go up your nosey, you gedda snootfull an den you sneeze. Habbin Maman sepprate dem innu hafs is best. Den dere are no crumbs.

So sumtimes Maman's "good ideas" issn' so bad. Depends onna idea an how weird she's bein.

Dis issa gud subjek. I will type more on tweats tomorry.

Fank you, Auntie Paula, for bemindin me to tawk to me aboud dis!

Posted by Our Warren at 9:10 AM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink

Day Eighteen / First Strand
I'm bak agin. Dis reggylarity fing issn werkin oud wike I fought it wuld. Too menny fings keep gettin inna way.

Mostwy id is fings. Fings dat brek.

Yestidday it wassa 'puter. I nosebonked da button to turn id on, bud id didn turn on. So I nosebonked id agin. Id just sat dere, wookin big. Preddy soon Maman comed awong an poked attit, bud id didn stawt, so she poked it agin an den called Dadda. Dadda poked it a coupla times an it didn werk, so he taked it apawt.

Den it rilly didn werk.

Den I tried Dadda's 'puter, bud id don wike me. I typed da blog, bud it wost it, so I jus said ta heck wiffit an went uppystairs to habba nap. Fings always wook bedder afta a nap, you know?

Dere are jus some days dat are no gud for ennyfing. Rabbits know dis; hoomins don't, so hoomins insist on strugglin wif da usewess days. We bunnies know bedder. Iffa day stawts oud usewess, datssa way its goin to go.

Assa gen'ral Rool, a day is bigger den you are. Oncet its onna downward slide, dere's preddy much notta whole wot you kin do aboud it, 'cept ride wiffit. So if you're gonna ride, you mite as well be comfy!

Maman hassa'nudder rool on usewess days, too. When fings are gen'rally hedin downhill an nuffin she's doin is goin rite, she ushally says, "Gib up, stoopid. You've screwed uppa nuf fings for wun day."

Which is preddy much troo.

Da more fings she screws up in wun day, da more fings she hasta unscrew da day afta. Alla more rezon for habbin a nap, as faras I kin see.

I fink dat if hoomins had more naps, dere wuld be wess trubble inna werld. Ob course, dat fits in wif my oberall philosophy dat if hoomins wuz more wike bunnies dere wuld be a wot wess trubble inna werld. Bud onna whole, I fink naps gib you wess scope to ged innu trubble.

Jus fink, iffa day is goin bad an hoomins is habbin pwoblems wif ebberyfing, den doesn't it make sense to habba nap an see if fings aren't enny bedder inna few hourz? I don mean dat if you run innu ONE fing, just go habba nap an ebberyfing will be gweat, I mean onna day when you can't do right for bein wrong (as Dadda says) you rilly need to habba bweak inna ackshun. Gib stuff time to seddle. Habba nap an see if mebbe da day has ironed itself oud a widdle. Mebbe it needed a bweak, too. You nebber know, bud fings always wook justa widdle bit bedder afta a nap.

I've also noticed dat hoomins don take dere own adbice. Wike onna day when you say, "I shulda stayed in bed." Well, mebbe you shulda.

Wike dis mess iwffa 'puter. Dadda fought da turney-on switch was broke, so he taked it alla'pawt an touched da two wires togedder, bud dat didn't help. Da 'puter still didn't turn on. So he taked more stuff apawt. No wuck. So he taked oudda box frumma back obba 'puter an went toda store. Turns oud datta power source box wiffa fan on inna big box nextest toda pikchur box didn werk. So Dadda bought a noo wun. Den he comed home an putted alla pieces obba 'puter back inside obba big box dat sits nextest toda pikchur box.

Den he was goin to pusha button to turn id on, but he'd fortygotten dat he'd bwokin da button when he furst taked da 'puter apawt. An he was "so tired oud" he told Maman, dat when he went toda store to buya noo power box wiffa fan, he'd fortygetted to buy a noo button.

"Tired oud." Dat's whut he sed. I herd him.

So cos he was "tired oud", now I can't stawt da 'puter wiffa hed-butt toda button ennymore. I gotta waid now until sumbun wiffa 'posable thumbs comes by so dey can touch da two wires togedder dat is hangin outta da hole inna box where da button used to be.

Whut Dadda *shuld* hab dun was habba nap when fings weren't goin well. Den he wuld hab bemembered to gedda button.

Posted by Our Warren at 12:36 PM EST

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Day Sebbenteen / First Strand
Well, yestidday did it - da Dragon downnastairs inna Bazement where we nebber go up an died. Turns oud, doh, dat Hunny wuz wrong: it wassn't alibe an it wassn a Dragon after all. It wassa machine an it was brokin.

How do I know dis frum onwy bein wun foot offa floor? Heh - I know cos I heered it all. Da guys frumma oil comp'ny camed, dey stomped fru da houz, dey broughtted tools dat clanked an went downnastairs. Den Dadda went downnastairs. Den alla dem togedder tawked an muddered.

Maman didn go down dere. She wuz uppastairs huddled in her coat ober her nitegown. She'd bin up all nite siddin by da widdle 'lektrick heeders, wipin her nooz wiffa tissues, dwinkin dat "coffee" stuff outta her bunny mug an reedin da noospapers frum Inkland to me. She told me in no unsertin terms whut she fought aboudda fing downnastairs. She called it "da heeder" an whut she wuz sayin makes me know dat whutebber dat fing is, it issa FING an notta creatchur. Cos my Maman nebber tawks aboud nuffin dat's alibe da way she tawked aboud dat "heeder" fing.

I twied to be powite an wissen to ebberfing Maman wuz sayin. I rilly did. I'm gud dat way, cos I'm an Inkwish Spot bunny an we're powite, an wike hoomin innerackshun - bud after siddin in Maman's coat wif her, I sort ob snuggled down, pud my ears down an preddy soon I keeped catchin myself snorin (Maman calls it "buzzin") an den, I'd waked myself up an shift aroun an twy to be powite again, bud den it wuz nice an warm, an Maman's boice wuz dere sort ob dronin on, reedin a' noos frum Inkwand where she usta lib an I don bemember cos I wassn' dere, an preddy soon, I'd be buzzin again...

And den I'd wake up. Inna meentime, it wuz geddin colder an colder outsidda coat. I could tell dis by my nose dat wuz stickin oud. Oncet a cat comed by to see iffa inside obba coat wuz ockkypied. Id wassa widdle wun, KayCee, an she jus pud her paws up an wooked an I wooked back wike, "Yeah, whut?" an she went away. Cos I wuz dere furst. Good fing it wassn da Fat Cat, cos iffit wuz Cokie, he jus duzza Hail Mary jump frumma floor cos he finks enny wap dat wooks opin is his - an den dere wuld hab beena mess, cos I don pud up wif his nonsense. Wast time him an me tangled, he went rollin butt-ober-tip oud innu da hallway.

Ennyway, da widdle cat leebed us awone an I went back to buzzin an Maman went back to reedin ussa noos frum Inkwand inna cold.

Den aboud my normal wakin up time, Maman an me had sum tweats an I god down, budda floor wuz cold, so I god back up. No sense in wettin da catz habba unused wap. So we redda noos sum'more while I hada cween an broosh'up an den Maman began tellin me 'bouda "heeder".

Id issa fing. Id costs munny. Id is preddy owd cos Maman had it boughted when she anna furst husbund (who is ded or sumfing) boughtted da houz. Id don owe us nuffin. Heeders costa "fort'chune", an id wuz bedder when she libbed in Inkwand cos she hadda firepwace da wuz berry warm an she anna bunny dat she had dere usta sweep inna libbin room when it wuz berry cold an fortyged sweepin inna bedrooms. Dere wuz no "downnastairs" an ennyways, Maman is skert ob downnastairs, an skert obba heeders, an why da hell don' we all jus moob back to Inkwand an be dun wiffit?

Well, yeah, I'd wike to know dat, too, budda ansurs were not forthcomin wast nite. Hoomins is stwange datway. Dey axt a bunny a wotta qwestshuns an den don gib enny ansurs. Or else dey gib you an ansur dat don mak enny sense. It's wike dey expects you to know whut dey are finkin.

So I just agreed wiff'er an kept on wif my wash an broosh-up while siddin on her wap. It's best dis way. You sit wiff'em wong enuf, an dey ebenchually 'splain fings bedder.

Keep your ears up an wisten. Dat's whut I did whenna guys frumma oil comp'ny came around noon. Maman wuz so tired dat she wuz almost buzzin in her chair, bud I wuz preddy awake, an I culd heer dem inna downnstairs wif Dadda. So afta dey all hada mumble, dere wassa wotta clangin an bonging, an tool noises, an preddy soon da guy dat wikes me comed uppastairs an fiddled wiffa "heeder box" onna wall, an sed, "Dat'll do 'er."

Den Dadda gabe dem munny an dey went away.

An a widdle while afta dat, I heered da pipes makin noise an da houz began tickin an crackin wike it allus does. I wen back uppystairs toda Warren an I told Hunny, "No Dragon inna basement. Itsa fing dat wuz broke."

An he sed datta salads were disappoitin an who da heck had frown his tin cup in his fud bowl?

So dat's da story ob yestidday. Dere are no Dragons inna Bazement, doh.

Day Sixy-teen / First Strand
As I telled you bifore, bein a bunny means libbin inna Warren an doin fings Alla Us Togedder. No bunny is ebber On Alone when you lib inna Warren. Dis is why Warren lif issa best lif dat dere is.

Rite now, lif in Our Warren is preddy compwykated, whut wif Our SnoBall ExFoster bein sik an all. He's home frumma hospital, bud Maman an me an Missy-Bun is still preddy bizzy nursin him. He is eetin an pootyin, an dees are bof berry possytib signs inna bunny. Bud he is still sik.

So my wun ob my bestest friends has offered to help me tidday when I rilly need help. Dis issa bunny way, da Alla Us Togedder way. My friend's name is Hazel an she libs in anudder Warren wif her Mawmie, Dadda, an brudders an sistah bunnies an well, yes, dey also hab catz an ebben a dawg in dere Warren. Hazel issa 'nudder Church Bunny an pard obba Gweat Warren to which Alla Bunnies inna Werld belong (dis issa Gweater Lagomorphin Communnyniddy) an she has gwaciouswy offered to be da berry furst GUEST BLOGGER for Our Warren! Dis is why I am tellin you 'boud her, cos she issa bizzy rabbit, bud she is takin her time to help me, to help demmy'stwate da concept ob doin fings Alla Us Togedder.

Hazel issa Flemish Giant, a berry 'peshul kind ob bunny, wike a Inkwish Spot (which is me) onwy bigger. Our Hazel issa redhed, anna Top Bun in her Warren, anna Chawta Member ob RIFRAF, wike SA, who hassa wink to his blog obber dere onna weft-hand side ob my blog heer. Don't fortyget to bisit wif SA an his Warren when you leeb heer!

Fank you, Hazel for bein my frien' an bein pard ob God's Gweat Warren, an Alla Us Togedder who are innit. Habbin you type inna blog an tellin us 'boud your life wun-foot-offa-ground issa honour an I'm rilly gwad dat you did dis. You are a bunderful friend!

Heer is Hazel's Blog for tidday:
***
Dis is Hazel Best. I am sittin? in for da wunnerful Bewinda onna blog tedda. Bewinda gots sum probwems inner warren she needs to atten too so I am hewe to tawk to da bunnee people for her.

I wunner what dis is ?bout da hoomins?..sumtimes da got wadder dat comes outta dere faces. Ewww! It seems to happen when dey are sad, or when dey are scared or wurreed or hert. Hmmmmm?..I dunno ?bout dis ? I hab seen my momma do dis ting dey call cwying sumtimes too. All I know is dat de onwy time I hab wadder runnin? outta my face is when I eat da gwapes and dey is real jewcee; but den I am not sad, I am purty happy cause I hab da grapes!

I fink dat we shud pwoblee teach da hoomins dere are udder ways of fixin? fings udder dan cwyin bout it. I know lotta ob da time dey cwy when someone else is hert or sick ? does dat make dem feel better? I dunno ? I don?t fink it does ? but dey do it awot. One time when I was inna V-E-T dey had to cut on my froat and get out sum en-fek-shun ? momma was cwying but I dunno why ?cause I was gittin? da bad stuff out --- I was happy ? but she was cwying and cwying. It did hert a widdle, but den I stawted to feel better and better. I wunner if it was cause she was cwying dat I felt better.

I know when da bunneez are scared, we fump??when we are hert??.we hide or fump??when we are sad; we hide or fump; when we are mad we fump??and when we are happy we binkee.

Come to fink of it ? does hoomins dey cwy when dey are happy too? Now dat is stwange. How can you tell what de pwoblem is if dey cwy for all weesons?

I axted my momma why da hoomins cwy wike dat and she sed, "?cause ob LUUVV!" LUB!? What?s dat gotta dew wif it? Den she sed cause when de hoomins lub sumfin dey care a wot and dat makes dem cwy.

I fink da bunneez and da hoomins can teach udder a fing or two. Tell you what??.we can teach da hoomins to binkee when dey are happee and to do udder fings when dey are sad.

But den when dere is an empty pwace inna warren how will we know dat da hoomins still wuv the one dat?s not hewe? We will know when dey cwy ? we will know dat dey lub the one dat is missin?

Dis is Hazel ? Get well soon Snoball ?

**sniff**sniff** we lub you! And will do da binkee when you get home!

Day Fifteen / First Strand
Wow. Yestidday wassa bad day. SnoBall Foster godda name change (agin - he's now SnoBall ExFoster, cos he's stayin here for gud) an den he hadda go toda V-E-T hospidal an stay obernite! Id wassa berry bad day, so I didn ged to post ennyfing heer.

Wun fing: Whenna bunny geds sik, we ged sik fast an dere is no time for goofin aroun, wonderin whut to do. We're kinda private 'boud bein sik, cos when you is prey, you kin nebber show weakness. Rabbits is allus prey an dat is hard-wired innu us: we habba prey-mentality frum when we wuz wild. We don show illness if we kin help it, so when SnoBall stawted to feel an upset tummy goin on, he didn say nuffin. He jus stopped eatin. An when he didn eat, he didn pootie. Dis is sumfing Maman noticed rite away.

Now hoomins who hab bunnies are berry interested in pooties. I told you 'bout Maman bein interested in cleanin. Well, her interest in cleanin is rilly based on her interest in pooties. Dis is cos pooties in hoomin society are nuffin wike da Pootie Cultchur in Lagomorphin Society. Hoomins don hab ennyfing to do wif dere pooties an dat's all I know boud dem cos dey don wet you know ennyfing aboud dem. Dey are as sekretib as catz aboud pooties.

Howebber pooties inna Lagomorphin Society habba whole Cultchur all ob dere own.

For one fing, id is powite to leab a pile ob pooties when bisitin a noo rabbit inna warren. Dis is a "callin card", wettin da noo bunny know who you is an, more 'portantly, where da noo bunny ranks inna system. Da higher you are inna Warren, da more pooties you leeb. Bein Hed Rabbit heer, I kin leeb a big pile ob pooties outside a noo bunny's home. A thoughtful Hed Bun will pile dees up inna neet pyramid shape inna prommy'nit lokashun, bud sumtimes, 'speshully iffa Hed Bunny issa male, he'll ged all 'cited an leeb a pafway just aboud paved wiff'em. Howebber you choose to do it, dis is onwy powite cos id tells da udder bunny dat you is in charge an dat he or she is welkome inna warren as long as dey know dat you are da Hed ob It. Id is also powite to leeb a "calling card" each time you bisit.

Now iffa noo bunny hassa idee dat dey are preddy impawtant, dey will returna fabour by leebin a pile ob pooties outside ob your habbytat. Dis means WAR. Itsa challenge to your authority assa Hed Bun when sumbun goes an leebs pooties on your door step. It means you gotta go, at your furst oppy'tunity, to leeb a pile ob pooties on dere door step. An it had bedder be a bigger pile den dey left for you.

Biggest pile wins. Topping da pile off wiffa smelly cecal is extry points. Spraying da whole fing down wif pee (an I'm berry gud at dis!) is a whole wotta extry points. Spraying dem down usuhally means dat Maman is gonna gib you "Time Out" an no playtime, which issn't fair cos she don unnerstan dat dis is rilly impawtant communykashun inna Pootie Cultchur an not jus whut she calls "bloody-mindedness" among bunnies.

A welcome can become an insult preddy quick, you'll notice. Stayin atta Top obba Warren take stamina, concentrashun an good contwol. I gott'em all.

Pooties are also da OnStar or MapQuest obba Lagomorphin Society. Hoomins needa 'puter anna whole lotta 'lektronics to find dere way around. Bunnies don't. We just need our butts anna supply ob fresh timofey hay. When moobin akrost noo terrytory, just droppa pootie ebbery few hops an you kin easily find your way back to da Warren. Ebben if some dum hoomins is followin you, pickin pooties up while you is puttin dem down, da smell ob fresh pooty will linger for awhile, enabling you to ged home as long as you don stay oud too wong.

Sum hoomins twy to confoozle you an pudda fresh pooties inna houzpwants up on tabuls. An den dey wonder whut we're doin up onna tabul. Well, geez!

I ebben know of wun poor bunny whose mawmie puds his fresh pooties inna houzplants, onna tabuls, den when he geds up onna tabul, finds interestin fud dat she weft onna tabul, which he eets cos it's dere - an den she blames HIM! I mean, come on, Wady! You moobed da pooties inna furst pwace! All datta bunny did was goof on his way back toda warren, an take a detour to fud datta mawmie weft for him. How da heck is dat his fault dat he ate whut he was detoured to?

Hoomins just don geddit. Do you know dat sum person ebben suggested dat I tie a stwing to my tail an reel id in if I wanted to know where I wuz? Why bodder? I got pooties! If God had wanted me to hab a ball ob stwing on my butt, He wuld hab gibben me wun, but I god pooties instead. Dat shuld cloo her in, y'know? Besides, pooties are much more eco-friendly. Dere bio-degwadable an gud for pwants. Stwing mainly issn't.

Ennyway, da V-E-T called Maman dis mornin an SnoBall is fine now. His tummy ache is gone an he's pootying uppa storm, Maman sed. Well, I shouldn't wunder. He's inna strange pwace an he's leebin "calling cards" for all he's worf, poor guy.

We're berry powite here at Our Warren.

Day For'teen / First Strand
Dere issa noo blog for you to reed. Id is wisted ober dere onna menu side obba blog page. It's my friend, SA's, Warren's Blog, called Rabbit Journals. To unnerstan housebunnies, you shuld reed it, becos houserabbits are all dif'frunt an hab dif'frunt ideas an 'pinions an cirkumstances, bud we all gedda'long wif each udder an balue each udder - we are allus eekquil. We allus see LIFE frum wun foot offa ground. Seein LIFE frum wun foot offa ground wets you know how dif'frunt an good LIFE can be.

SA an me mite be dif'frun bunnies, bud we is yoonited byda fakt dat we are bunnies. Bunnies are not dibided byda way dey are coloured, or da type ob bunny dat dey are. For hextample, I amma Inkwish Spot kinda bunny. SA iss notta Inkwish Spot, bud he wuld be welcome to be in Our Warren, doh, just cos he issa rabbit. We don discrimmynate. Bein a bunny is gud enuf for us.

Tiday Maman sed she wants to cwean. Dis issa pwoblem. She shuld do it my way, ob course. Whenna house gets full ob stuff, wike pooties, digga noo burrow, an go lib in dat pwace an leab dis mess assit is. If we need ennyfing frum it, we kin allus come back an ged it. Datssa rabbit way. Inna wild, da Warren issa constantwy hexpandin entity. Whenna does is diggin, we're hexkavatin noo burrows to moob into. Dis cweanin fing issa waste ob time.

Bud Maman is determined. She allus is determined after she has been sik. She was sik yestidday wif wunna dose "migraine" headaches where she is frowin up an wyin down an frowin up an wyin down. Sumtimes id gets so bad dat she bumps inno da walls an den Dadda hasta come an steer her inna rite direkshuns cos she is wost. She don wook berry much wike our Maman: her hair is ebberywhere an her face is all white an her eyes is bloody an wet. Most ob all, she can't stand up for holdin her head on an her stomach in.

Most hoomins ged headaches an a wotta udder hoomins say dey hab migraines, bud dey don seem to ged as bad as Maman. Ebbery ten minutes, she is eidder climbin outta bed or innit. Missy seed her yestidday an godda skirt an stawted thumpin to wet me know dat sumfing was wrong. I runned to da frunt obba habbytat an seed Maman fall against da side obba doorway so I thumped wif Missy.

Now when I thump, it issa Big Thing here at Our Warren cos I ushually don thump all dat much. Sistah was downnastairs bud she commed up when she herd me an found Maman.

So da Sistah gotted da Lad an togedder dey gotted Maman back inna bed. Sistah cawed da doctor, which issa hoomin V-E-T, an he sent ober sum more medycine. Da Lad gotted Da Basin for Maman to be sik in. Denna catz gotted in onna act an went ta sit wif Maman, for alla gud dey did. Catz is not to be trusted, cos all dey do is come in atta end ob fings an twy to steel your credit. But Sistah wassn't fooled. She gibbed Missy an me Craisins for bein good an soundin da Allarum.

Well, we're always gud. We are rabbits. When we see dat wun inna Warren is in Trubble, we ged help. Dat's why id is impawtant for nobunny to ebber be On Alone. Bemember dat I told you aboud how terrible it is to be On Alone? Bein On Alone means dat dere is no wun dere for you an you are not dere for anybun. In Our Warren, nun ob us are ebber On Alone. We are alla us togedder pawt obba Warren. We watch ober an help each udder. Maman takes care ob us wif salads an wadder an pets an fings. We take care ob her by geddin help when she is sik. Sistah anna Lad help by helpin when we thump. Wife inna Warren issa co-oppy-ray-tib effort. It's Alla Us Togedder.

Cept for dis cweanin fing. I don fink Maman shuld be doin it tiday. Neffer does Dadda. He finks Maman shuld rest tidday. Sistah sed Maman finks too much an shuld twy an stop alla finkin for once.

I fink she shuld just digga noo burrow an be dun wiffit.

Day Firteen / First Strand
Wike I told you, I amma bunny. Dat's a Lagomorph, notta rodent - aldoh I gots noffin against rodents as house pets enny more den I hab against dawgs or catz or ebben small hoomins as house pets. It's just dat Lagomorphs make bedder house-pets, an I can say dis wif certinty cos I am wun.

For wun fing, bunnies are mostwy quiet. Wun obba fings datta WerldWideWeb has done is dat id has gibbin bunnies a Boice. Until dis 'puter fing showed up, bunnies didn't tawk or bark, or make much inna way ob sounds. We mostwy just stayed in our habbytats an relied on body wanguage to ged our points acrost. Da fact dat hoomins aren't da most obserbant ob species made communycatin berry diffycult.

Unwess dey are twained, hoomins don pick up much on body wanguage; ebben dere own body wanguage issa mystery to dem. I seed dat da udder day when Maman was tawkin toda Sistah. Da Sistah was standin atta door toda Bun Room, bud she wassn' wookin attus. Maman culdn't see her, cos Maman was inna Baf Room. Bad moob onna Maman's pawt - cos dere is Maman tawkin away an she's not watchin da Sistah, so she's not seein whut I'm seein, which is datta Sistah is shiftin her weight frum one foot to da udder, an bitin her finger an geddin more an more ajjytated. So whenna Sistah s'ploded , Maman wuz all shocked an 'prised.

Maman shuld hab seed it comin. I did.

In general, Maman is preddy good aboud seein body wanguage, doh. She kin see who needsa kiss. A kiss issn a Lagamorph fing. Itsa hoomin fing. In some ways, its a wot wike gwooming is in Lagomorph. Bunnies gwoom each udder to show who is Top Bun. Top Bun GED gwoomed. Udder buns DO da gwoomin. Dis is pweddy simple. Iffa Top Bun wants to gwoom you, dis issa 'peshul fabour; means you are pard obba fambly, pard obba Warren. Dis is where gwoomin an hoomin kissin seem to be awike.

I wet Maman kiss me. Den she pets me. Den I gwoom her. We are Top Buns togedder. Onna Udder Paw, Hunny wets Maman kiss him, an den he wikes her to pet him, bud he will onwy gib her wun wick once inna gweat while, bud he doesn gwoom her. Dis is cos he issa Male an he usta beda Top Bun an hasn't gotten ober it yet. He knows he's too old to beda REEL Top Bun (which is me) bud I don make a ishoo ob it, an we don fuss aboud it. Bud he doesn't DO gwoomin. He GEDS gwoomed. He still hassat idea in his hed. Bud still, gibbin Maman a wick or two issa gweat honour in his estymashun, an Maman unnerstands dat an tweats it assa honour. Den again, Hunny's her "Mawmie's Boy".

Maman kisses Dadda, an she kisses da Lad an she kisses Sista. She hugs too. It's hoomin body wanguage for wettin hoomins know dat dey are part obba Warren.

Bud a wotta times, when Maman is huggin udders, an kissin dem an makin dem feel dat dey are part obba Warren, dere is sumfing in her body wanguage dat seems to me to say dat she doesn't feel part obba Warren at all. She wooks wike id, bud doesn't feel wike it. Id is wike she gibes da kisses, anna hugs anna wicks anna pets, bud wike Hunny, da udders don communycate back to her too much or too often. 'Cept Dadda. Dadda is wike my Hawthorn was.

I communycated a wot wif Hawthorn, wike Dadda does wif Maman. Ob alla bunnies heer, Hawthorn an I unnerstood each udder best. Hawthorn gwoomed me an I gwoomed him an we were nebber far apawt. Dat's why I feel sorry for Maman when Dadda goes to werk. Den Maman is On Alone till he comes back again. Dey sumtimes gedda e-mails to each udder - nod oftin, doh cos fings atta werk aren't rite - an den Maman is happy when she reads whutta Dadda typed. So Maman wikes da 'puter forda same reeson dat I do: it gibs us a Boice.

Boices are impawtant. To be able to speak, ebben wiffa body is impawtant. To hab opinions, to fink, to lub sumbun, to tell sumwun else aboud you an to wearn aboud udder fings - alla dis communycation is berry impawtant. Cos dis is why we hab bwains, I fink, so dat we will continue to gwow wiser.

An who knows, mebbe to gwow wiser, mebbe dis issa whole point ob bein a bunny.

Day Twelbe / First Strand
Thursday. It has snowed oudside an Maman sed to Dadda dat id is gonna ged berry cold (wike it issn't alreddy) all fru da day tidday. He was sneezin atta time she wuz tellin him dis an compwainin dat he didn feel gud. He finks he is "comin down wiffa cold". So basically, he is startin wiffa cold an he is goin oudside intoda cold where it is expectin to ged colder.

Yeah, dis makes all kinds ob sense.

It wike wif dis "Foster" fing. We got SnoBall heer. He's a widdle bunny, all white wif rings ob black fur aroun his eyes an widdle black tips onna ends ob his widdle ears. Berry cute. His most prom'nint featchur is dat he is round - round widdle hed, round widdle body wiffa round widdle tail tacked onna back ob his round widdle butt. Fink "annymated powder-puff" an you goddit.

He came heer when he gots frowed outta his 'partment. He had libbed dere fora couple ob years wif his mawmie, his dadda, his brudder anna dawg. Den sum udder hoomins bought da 'partment dey were all libbin in. Da udder hoomins found oud 'boud SnoBall an his brudder anna dawg an said, "NO PETS ALLOWED!" Jus wike dat. His mawmie didn'habba money to moob, so it wooked a wot wike SnoBall was gonna end up homewess - bud, his mawmie knew Maman. An so ob course insted ob bein homewess, he comed heer.

So he was onwy gonna stay heer until his Mawmie culd find a noo pwace to lib where dey wuld "ALLOW PETS". So far, she's had no wuck.

Maman told us dat SnoBall stayin wif us meant dat he wassa "Foster" bunny. Well, dat made sense. So his name, we figgered, was "Foster". SnoBall Foster. Wots ob bunnies gots more den wun name, you know, wike "Lilly Churchbunny", an "Preston Pee Bunny", (who had free names) an "Wee Willy Wonka", an den I know a big white bunny whose name is "Christmas" alla year wong. So "SnoBall Foster" didn rilly stwike enny ob us assa odd name cos we heer at Our Warren know a wotta bunnies frum PB who habba wast name ob "Foster" A wot obba "Foster" clan libs in shelters, sadwy. My friend, Casper, frum Bunny Haven Rescue told me dat dere ara wotta "Fosters" libbin at his pwace.

Which is sad, you know? Whutsit aboudda Foster family dat dere is so many obb'em libbin in shelters? We feel sorta bad for SnoBall. Here's a berry nice bunny an he's a Foster, troo, bud he's heer in Our Warren onna temp'rary basis. He still gots his berries, so he can't habba bonded friend, he hasta lib by himself, an hab his pwaytime by himself, an he hasta lib inna cage fing his mawmie brought, which is preddy big, bud still, it's not wike our habbytats dat hab solid floors an are big enuf to run in. He has *almost* ebberyting dat we hab, bud not quite. It wuld be nice if he culd moob in wif Missy or me an share our habbytats an toys an stuff. We all ged tweats an salads, so dere is pwenty ob food aroun heer, no madder where you happen to be libbin, budda habbytats are nicer denna stoopid cage, ennyday.

I wuldn't mind habbin a bondmate again. My Hawthorn went toda Rainbow Bridge wast Summer. Da Black Rabbit came for him, an he went away wif him. I was dere an I seed it. Hawthorn didn mind goin, cos he was berry sik, bud I miss him, you know? He wassa berry 'peschul bunny wif his widdle floppy ears an his widdle puzzle face. I wuldn't mind habbin SnoBall moob in wif me. He wuld be comp'ny an we culd gwoom an nap an do projects an ebberyting togedder. Mebbe he wuld sweep wif his widdle hed on my back wike Hawthorn did.

Well, ennyway, in comes Maman yestidday an says dat she's gonna caw SnoBall's mawmie an see if he kin stay wif us. Den she 'splained dat she's gonna see 'boudda name-change for SnoBall, an how he's not gonna be "Foster" ennymore, an wose his berries an mebbe moob in wif sumbun an alla dat stuff. She just 'nnounced it straight off, wike Maman does - full-steam ahed, talk-as-you-pwease.

An den she gibbed ebberybun a Craisin an weft.

Well, SnoBall anna rest ob us tawked it ober an we is berry puzzled now. If he's not gonna be SnoBall Foster, den who is he gonna be? An whut's Maman changin his name for? Whut's wrong wif his name?

Dis makes aboud as much sense as sendin Dadda, who alreddy hassa cold, outside intoda cold to ged colder. You know?

Day Eleven / First Strand
Dere are fings heer dat are berry strange.

Do you know dat downnastairs, Maman hassa whole gwoup ob rabbits dat hab no smell? We hab been discussin it on PB (dat e-list I told you aboud) an dere ara number ob udder bunnies whose Mawmies hab Rabbits Dat Hab No Smell, too. Dey aren't always inna house wike da wuns heer; sumtimes dey are outside inna garden an sumtimes dey are onna frunt porch, or udder pwaces, bud alla bunny-parents seem to hab dem.

I figger dat it has to do wif Announcin To Da Werld. Hoomins do a wot ob dis Announcin To Da Werld by whut dey wook wike. Dey pud on clothes inna certain way, or behabe inna certin way, or wear dere hair on dere heds inna certin way, all so dat dey can Announce To Da Werld who dey are or whut dey are or sumfing.

Yestidday da Sistah was heer. She was inna Baf Room, puddin stinky stuff on her hed an den rinsin it off. When she god done, she sed to Maman, "Dissis gweat. It didn't come oud wikea strawberry."

Now is interested me, cos I wike strawberries fora tweat, an if Sistah had sum, den ob course I wanted to know when to expect dem to appear inna Bun Room. All tweats come inna Bun Room, you know. So sure enuf, Sistah comes inna Bun Room an I wooks at her wiadin to see da strawberries, an den I notice dat alla sudden, her heds a dif'frunt colour. It wooks red, not her usushal sort ob silbery blonde colour. An she goes an picks up SnoBall an axts him,

"Whut'cha fink, SnoBall? I didn't come out all pink!"

An he's wookin at her an wrinklin his nose cos she smells funny, wike a bag ob chemikals.

An I'm finkin to myself whut he's finkin, "No, you don't wook pink, bud you smell almost as bad assa wet collie dawg."

Anna Sistah says, "Now I'm preddy."

"Preddy, whut?" Says SnowBall, pullin as far back frum her as he kin wiffout fallin onna floor. "Good fing I can smell dat you is still Sistah unnerneaf alla dat udder smell, cos udderwise, I wanna ged down now."

'Zactly whut is she Announcin To Da Werld wif her noo colour hair? Dat she is not Pink. Well, I spose dat issa good fing. Bud she wuz preddy before she wassn't pink, too, before she went an putted alla dat stuff on her hed. She defin-itwy smelt bedder. Bud I don fink dat hoomins care too much aboud smells unwess dey are bad wuns, an ebben den, dey aren't too discrimmynatin. I mean, dere are smells dat are bad cos dey is dangerous an smells dat are bad cos dey mean food is no good, an smells dat are bad for a wotta udder reasons. Not habbin enny smell at all issa bad fing, too, which hoomins seem to miss da point ob.

Wike da rabbits dat hab no smell downnastairs. Who are you wifoutta smell? Dis is why I go an sit wif dose poor rabbits when I'm down dere. So dey know dat dey are sumbun by smellin ob me. Den we is Alla Us Togedder. We all smell awike.

Bein seen means nuffin. In fact, bein seen can be dangerous if you is bein seen by a preddytor. Bud rilly, atta end obba day, whut'cha wook wike issn't impawtant. Don' hoomins know dat you kin wook wike ennyfing, bud how you smell means ebberyfing. Announcin To Da Werld by wooks is onwy da bow onna bag - wooks doesn't say ennyfing aboud you cos dey can change or come off. Smell, now, dat's forebber.

Twust your nose.

Day Ten / First Strand
Well, I taked yestidday off cos dere was too much noise goin on aroun heer for a bunny to fink, much wess werk onna blog.

Da Big Sistah came ober heer rilly early inna mornin wif her widdle puppy dawg an made big noise, jus 'boud de-railin ebberybunny's train ob thought before it god ouddada station. It is hard to fink when you're sittin heer inna warm, peaceful Bun Room habbin your sekund brekfust, anna furst fing you hear issa frunt door opinin, an den Maman sqalkin wikea chikin assa puppy cwoses it's jaws on her ankul.

So stwike downna blog an cwank uppa anxiety lebbels.

Aboud da onwy pwace dat was safe frumma puppy was eidder da Bun Room orda Baf Room, an Maman was kinda osillatin between bof.

Baf Rooms are interestin pwaces - wike Disney Wand wif Fawcets.

Now you habba unnerstand dat rabbits are cwean. We don wike dirt where we lib, ebben inna wild. Wild bunnies dig burrows, called "Warrens" an dees, as I've menshuned, hab barious "rooms" in dem, connected by tunnels, dat serb specific purposes. We don go potty, for example, inna area reserbed for gadderings, an we don gadder inna area reserbed for pooties.

When we bunnies are houserabbits, we use witterboxes or as we say, pootie-boxes. I habba warge, maroon pootie-box dat Maman fills wif Yesterday's News witter. Sum hoomins use udder stuff for witter, wike Carefresh, or Feline Pine or ebben wood stobe pellets cobbered wif hay. Sum hoomins use a wotta hay inna pootie boxes in order to twain dere bunnies to use witter boxes, an dis is hokay, bud as I menshuned, cept datta hay geds all ober da pwace.

I'm tellin you alla dis for two reasons. One is to point oud dat bunnies are NOT dirty pets. We are berry clean. Da sekund reason is to point oud dat we don't inbolb wadder in our pootie boxes. Dis is why Baf Room seem to us to be berry stwange.

Baf Rooms, howebber, seem to hab ebberyfing to do wif wadder. Furst dere are Toy-Lets. I wooked in wun ob dees an dey seem to be round ponds dat you sit on. I can unnerstand siddin next to a pond to watch da fishies ora frogs orda fings dat lib innit, bud unwike ponds, dere's no fish or frogs inna toy-lets. An you don sit "next" to dem, hoomins sit "on" dem. If dey hab big enuf hindquarters, dey are safe an you kin go up to dem an ged petted. I hab gone up to Dadda an been petted while he is sittin onna pond. He's not doin ennyfing, so why not? Bud I werry a widdle 'boud Maman. Her hindquarters is smaller. Whud if she falls fru da hole? Whutssa point ob her bein dere since she don fit cor'rectwy ober da pond? Dis issa werry.

I noticed, too, datta toy-wets hab okashunal storms in dem, doh, whenna wadder swirls aroun an den suddenly disappears. Maman showed me dis an I found it puzzwing. I mean, dere's a storm inna widdle pond. Big deal. It makes noise. Big deal. I jus god down an hopped away. I fink she was dissypointed in me, bud I don' know why.

Next, dere seems to be a Pond Inna Sky. Dis is where Maman an Dadda gib me anna udder bunnies Butt-bafs when we need dem. Dey call dis Pond-Inna-Sky da "zink". 'Parentwy, wadder comes outta a tube an fills it up anna 'nudder hole wets da wadder out. Dis issa nudder wun ob dose "big deals" dat Maman finks I shuld be interested in, bud I'm not. I wike explorin, an I wike wookin around inna Baf Room just wike I wike wookin around in ebbery room, bud Baf Room are just weird. Dey are full ob wadder an ponds bud you can't pway in enny ob dem unwess sumbun organises da whole fing for you. Wike Disney Wand, you gotta ged sumbun else to organise your fun for you.

Den dere issa Rilly Big Pond where Dadda can lie down. Dis is scarey. He can also make it rain in dere, an contwol fog. Bud onwy in dis wun room can he make rain an fog. No udder room inna house has Wedder. Da udder rooms do not seem to hab Fog Contwols in dem, cos I onwy ebber see da Fog come rollin outta da Baf Room after it rains in dere. It rains in dere oftin, an da hoomins go INTO da rain in dere, whereas dey run OUTTA da rain outside. Make sense to you? Not me eidder.

Dere is also sum screamin associated wiffa rain inna Baf Room. You cannot, I've noticed, habba storm inna Toy-Let atta same time as you are makin rain an fog. Dadda cannot hab tea atta same time as Maman is inna rain inna Baf Room. It is hokay if she is usin da Pond-Inna-Sky, bud it is not hokay if she is makin it rain or habbin Fog. Turnin onna wadder for tea downnastairs makes Maman scream uppystairs. It's anudder interestin fakt.

Dere is also sum speshul fwowers or sumfing smelly inna Baf Room. I kin smell sumfing fwower-ish alla time, but I nebber see dem. Howebber, just cos I can't see dem doesn't mean dat dey aren't dere. Dey are dere. My nose doesn't lie. Dere are fwowers inna Baf Room. Well, not rilly fwowers, but pretend fwowers, wike sumbun's Idea of Whut Fwowers Mite Smell Wike If Dey Had Only Ebber Herd 'Boud Fwowers. Sort ob Whut sumbun finks issa Colour Bloo if dey nebber seed it...or a rock aboud dat flaybber... if you know whut I mean. A smell dat has gradd-gee-ated into a stink.

Enny way, da Baf Room always smells somehow or annudder an it nebber seems to smell rite, cossa hoomins are allus bwingin home noo stuff an twyin to make it smell dif'frent.

You hear Maman come in frumma store an she runs uppystairs, an den you hear sumfing go "psssssst", wike it's tellin you a sekret. Den comes da stink, spreadin out wike inbizable fog, an you hear Maman say,

"Smell dat?" an I'll sniff da air, an well, *sumfing* sure does smell, an den she'll say,

"Issn't dat nice?" an I'll fink,

"Wookit, wady, I don wanna hurt your feelins or nuffin, bud...well, Hunny up-wind after he hassa tummy-full ob Romaine smells bedder den dat."

Bud I don say ennyfing, cos sumtimes, you know, it's easier to be soft on Maman cos tellin her da troof wuld just be too hard.

Day Nine / First Strand
Whut's dis? Hmmmm... Da 'Puter is "ON".

H-U-N-N-Y

Dis is me.

*ponder*

Belinda issn't heer rite now. She is upstairs asleep. I kin heer her snorin. Makes a sorta buzzy sound when she's snorin' ...bzzzz... buzzzz... buzzzz... She duzzn't know I'm highjackin her blog dis aftanoon...

*stop, ponder*

Well, she's not usin da blog, an it's goin to waste. Besides, tiday is her day "OFF". She's "OFF". I'm "ON".

*bunnychuckle, subsides, ponder; trundle to water-crock*

Poet gibs me too many bafs. I'll tell you dat for nuffin.

*drink, dribble*

Whut's a bunny to do?

*drink, dribble, ponder, dribble*

I'm too old for dis ....

*snort, sneeze*

Oops, shubbed my hed in a liddle far dat time...
Can't see where da wadder starts anna bowl ends... godda cattyract inna eye, Maman sed... she taked me toda V-E-T 'boud id... it's cos I'm berry owd da V-E-T sed... oops, godda my ear innit, waid...

*shake>*

Dat's bedder... huh?...oh, Sorry Missy...

*trundle*

Darn. Wadder on my feets... hmmm...

*track, track*

Waid a minit, godda siddown an gedda paw up here an wick da wadder off...check my butt...

*grunt*

Washa face a widdle... dere... whut?... Shaddup, Belinda!

*pause, listen*

Iz she wakin up? Darn... humph, mebbe not...

*shake, fluff, trundle, trundle, trip*

Who weft my cup dere?...

*throw, toss*

Hokay, fixed dat... so I wuz goin toward da pootie-box wassn' I? No, da 'puter... Dis is Belinda's day "OFF". Me, Hunny's day "ON".

*stop, ponder, peer*

...oh, hullo, Poet... you're glarin... whut'sa'madder? Uh-oh... wet me fink...

Oh no, not my ears!

*skitter, pootie, RUN ---------->

Day Eight / First Strand
Id issa middul ob Wintur, I fink. At weast id is berry cold outside. I know dis cossa Dadda comed in heer an sed it wuz. Da Dadda allus tells us da troof aboud stuff. Dis is why he issa Dadda.

Ebbery two or free days, Dadda an Maman come inna Bun Room an collect alla pooties frum our witter-boxes. Now nine bunnies can make a wotta pooties. Dadda says dat we ara most efficient conberters ob hay inno pooties dat he has ebber seen, an dis incloods cows. Which must be preddy good, cos Dadda has seen a wotta cows before he came ober heer to lib wif us. Dey must habba wotta cows in Inkland.

At furst, I didn unnerstand whut he an Maman wanted wif alla pooties. I mean, wet's be wogical aboud dis: before I libbed inna shelter, I libbed sumpwace else an dat hoomin dat I wuz libbin wif wasn't inno pootie collectin. Den I went to lib atta shelter wif Auntie Laura. Now dere wassa wady who was inno pootie collectin. She collected dem alla time, just wike Maman an Dadda do. Gibba bunny a witter-pan, pud nice witter innit, waid a day or two, den dump da witter pan inna bag an we stawt da whole fing ober again. If you axt me, da whole system seems preddy pointwess, bud hoomins seem fond ob it.

Well, ennyway, Maman an Dadda 'dopted Hawthorn. Hawthorn wassa widdle white Holland Lop bunny wif bloo eyes who was mostwy deaf (which means he couldn't heer). It's not unusuhal for widdle white bunnies wif bloo eyes to be deaf, but it was hokay, cos he wassa berry smawt, berry cute widdle guy an I lubbed him as soon as I saw him. We moobed in togedder an bonded. Bunnies bond for life, bedder denna wotta hoomins, an, wike hoomins, sum bonds are bedder den udders. Hawthorn an I hadda rilly good bond, da bestest kind, for his whole widdle wife, until he went toda Bridge. I still miss him, you know.

Bud wike I sed, Hawthorn was berry smawt. He watched Maman an Daddy do dis pootie-box fing a coupla times an since he wassa good bunny, he got to be outta da habbytat a wot. He wassn a chewer, ora mad explorer or ennyfing, an Maman culd pik him up wif one hand (unwike me, dat needs two hands anna wotta "innerackshun" whutebber dat is.). So he culd be downnastairs to watch whut Dadda did wiffa bags ob pooties after he taked dem outta da Bun Room.

Well, Dadda taked da bag ob pooties, an you know whut? He pwanted dem inna garden! Pwanted pooties! Hawthorn seed it! Dadda taked da bags ob pooties an pwanted dem inna garden, an just weft dem dere to grow. Dat's whut fings do inna garden - dey grow.

An den, a coupla days waiter, Maman comes into da Bun Room, an she has dis bag wif widdle round fings innit.

"Who wantsa 'mater?"

So I axted Hawthorn whut da heck issa 'mater? An we went ober to habba wook at whut Maman is settin oud onna floor. It's dees widdle round balls, wike gwapes, onwy dees are bwight wed wif widdle green tops onn'em.

An Maman sed: "Dere fresh frumma garden!"

An I'm finkin, "Hold on! Issn't dat where Dadda dumped alla dose pooties?"

Bud Hawthorn's alweddy got his mouf full. An he wooks at me wif 'mater juice tricklin' down his widdle chin, an his bloo eyes get buggy an he opins his mouf an oud falls da 'mater.

An just den Hunny yells frum his habbytat: "She's twyin to poison us!" an suddwy, da whole Warren is wookin at dees 'mater fings an figgerin dat dey will happily gib dem a miss, since we all know da troof now.

'Maters comes frum pwantin pooties.

Bud Maman wooks rilly hurt, an she calls downnastairs to Dadda an tells him dat we won't eatta 'maters. So Dadda comes uppa stairs an reaches inna bag dat Maman has. And HE EATS ONNA DA 'MATERS! Den he shrugs an says, "I dunno whut's wrong wif dem." an goes away downnastairs agin.

I sed datta Dadda allus tells us da troof. I didn't say he wuz smawt.

Bud I stay 'way frum 'maters if I wuz you.

Day Sebben / First Strand
Eatin. We all gotta do it. We do it heer at Our Warren an if you wanna belieb Maman, we do a wot ob it. We hab salads, pellets and hay. Oh, an tweats. Yeah, wots ob tweats. In fact, tweats is wun ob my favouritest subjeks.

We ged a wotta tweats heer. Mainly ebbery nite at 10:00 p.m. Maman an Dadda gadder outsidea door obba Bun Room an you kin hear `em tawkin, "You reddy?" an den Dadda will say, "I gotta nanner an I'm notta `fraid to use it." (For sum reason he finds dis funny.) An den suddenwy da barrier slides to one side an in dey come, usually Dadda furst wif Maman behin him. Dey come in inna hurry cos ob Hunny bein owd.

See, Daddy says Hunny issa "Sly owd bugger". An dat's aboud rite. Cos Hunny wants to ged his tweats furst, bud he's not as close toda door as I am. I shuld gedda tweats furst onna'count ob my bein Top Bun an Hed Rabbit an all, bud Hunny usta beda Top Bun before he gots too owd for it, so he hadda figger oud sum way to keep on geddin da tweats before ennybunny else. So dis is how he does it: He stands up on his back wegs.

Now Hunny, periscopin on his hind wegs, isn't da most steady fing inna werld. In fact, wif Poet, his bond-mate, bargin around wike a brown-an-white bumper-car he's at risk ob bein knocked offa his feets at enny sekond. An cos he's owd, he's fragile. So Maman an Dadda are skert dat he'll be knocked ober by Poet, an dere's da owd fool standin up wike a strainin stachu, an Poet runnin around wike a demented hampster (onwy six hunnert times da size), so dey rush in to gib da owd fools dere tweats furst before enny disasters happen.

Hunny mite be owd an fortygetful an ebbery mornin mite be a noo adbenchur for him in bein Hunny, bud in sum ways, he's stilla preddy smawt owd bunny.

Maman an Dadda say I amma "garbage gut". Dis is cos I will eat enny tweats I kin ged my toofies into. Well, wouldn't'chu? I mean, tweats are not all *dat* fick onna gwound. Dat's why dey are tweats an not food. Food is whut'chu ged ebbery day. It appears inna bowl an dere it is until you eat allob it. Id is mostwy plain, ordinary an dere. Tweats, onna udder paw are not allus dere. Dey onwy come in at nite, an dey are speshul.

Dey are mostwy froot, wike appuls, `nanners, blooberries, or gwapes. Or dey can be herbs, wike dillweed or mint dat tickuls your nose. Sumtimes tweats are fings dat come in bags frumma speshul Tweat Store. Dese fings are wike Craisins - dried, sweetened cranberries frumma Ocean Spray Company, or udder dried froots wike apprycots, or blooberries. Now dees are premium tweats. Prunes aren't bad edder, bud dey wack a certin sumfing in my opinion. Raisins are nice, too, bud for reel tweatness, you can't beat Craisins.

An just when you finked dat nobun could improb on perfekshun, dey went an made flavoured Crasins! Yeah, for reel, bunny-pleasin tweats, you can't beat dose pipple atta Ocean Spray Company. I habba feelin dat sumbun dere must be a bunny-parent, onna'count ob Craisins are da most tawked-aboud tweat onna e-mail wist, PB, dat I was telling you my Maman bewongs to. Dere are aboud five hunnert hoomins onna wist an aboud sebbin hunnert bunnies, an Crasins area big topik ob diskusshin. You wanna stock-tip frumma bunny? Buy stock in dat Ocean Spray Company. Dat company is gonna go pwaces.

Udder fings dat make a good tweat is carrots.

An Maman sed dat whut's good aboud tweats for bunnies is dat dey are also good choices for snaks for hoomins. Now dat caught my `tenshun. Cos dere ara wotta fat hoomins around, or so I been reading inna noos papers. A wotta pipple are blamin adbertizin for bein too fluffy, as we bunnies say. Dey say dat nobun told dem aboud "healthy choices" in food an dat alla adbertizin is geared toward makin young hoomins eat food dat is not good for dem. So I'm doin a pubwik serbice heer an tawkin aboud healthy tweats tiday.

Cos ebberybunny deserbs a tweat now an den. At 10:00 p.m. Ebbery nite. Wiffout fail. =:x)

Day Six / First Strand
Da Sun is oud. Id is berry cold heer now, an I'm not jus tawkin your normal Winter cold, I'm tawkin da reel find-your-bond-mate-wet's-snuggle type-ob cold dat makes me gwad I godda fur coat on alla time.

Not dat it's cold inna Bun Room. It's not. Maman's gotta Heeder inna innerds obba houz on an it's roarin. Hunny sed he digested a pikchur inna buk obba fing called a "Dragon" dat belches fire. Wooks sorta wike a big wizzard wif spikes, he sed, wif teef anna big nose an no fur. Bud den, Hunny's been at dose buk-cases inna Liberry for yeers, so he's seen wots ob fings datta rest ob us don know aboud. Bein twelbe yeers owd issa great age fora bunny, an eben if Hunny is preddy addled most obba time, he does know aboud a wotta stuff datta rest ob us don know.

Bud I don fink dere's enny dragons inna bottom obba houz. I fink its sum kinda machine down dere dat keeps us warm. Dadda an Maman fuss aboud it a wot, an sum guys come onna truk oncet in awhile an feed it or sumfing an Maman gibs dem munny. So dat's how I know da fing down dere eats sumfing, cos Maman hasta pay for it. Ob course, da onwy way I know dat it hasta be paid for is cos she an Dadda compwain aboud habbin to bemember to go to sumpwace called "da bank" before da guys come to feed da machine.

I figger it hasta be a machine cos Maman doesn't go down dere an tawk to it. In fact, she says she hates it. She says so a wot. She hates "down dere" an won't go down dere. She allus sends Dadda wiffa torch. Now Maman wubs annymuls. She ebben wubs da catz, so I fink dat if dere wassa Dragon "down dere" she wuld at weast try to make friends widdit. She makes friends wid ebberyfing else, ebben Sistah's stoopid yappy puppy anna Collie Dawg, Zachary-Marcus, who comes to bisit us ebbery now an den. (I bited his nose.) So if dis fing wassa reel Dragon wike Hunny finks, den she'd be down dere all concerned an tawkin to it, an force-cuddlin it wike she does to us alla time.

Bud Maman is preddy much obba romantik an she don gib too many thoughts to machines. She uses dem for what dere 'sposed to be used for an den dat's it. Dey go back inna cwoset or whutebber. She doesn't tawk to dem, unwess dey don' werk - den whut she mite say, we hab no werds for in Lagomorphin. She wuldn't say does werds to a annymul, dat's fur sure, aldoh, I hab herd her use dose werd when she's tawkin boud sum certin pipples she obwiously don wike too much. An she names, names, too. Which tends to gib me da impwesshun dat in Maman's werld, annymuls are much more impawtant denna machines or certin pipples.

So ennyways, id is warm in heer. Da Sun is comin fru da windows inna Bun Room an shinin down inna nice bun-sized square in my habbytat. Da houz is makin comfortyable clicky, hummy noises anna fing "down dere" is doin it's job makin ebberywhere warm.

Da onlwiest way dat I know id's cold outside is dat Dadda went oud toda Bank dis mornin. I wuz inna Libbin Room, sleepin wif my tail toward da door, you know, an my nose pointed toward da kitchin - just snoozin, sorta - an den Dadda opined da Frunt Door. Suddenwy *whoosh!* I gots dis blast ob cold air, wike a slap inna butt, rite up my tail!

Well, I just weft. Came up heer to my habbytat inna Bun Room, godded onta my blankie an settled down. An I'm stayin heer... wif my butt pointed toward da door again. So when dey come uppa stairs to see whut I'm geddin up to, dey'll know 'zackly whut I fink ob geddin wokin up bya cold smack ob air. See dis tail? If it's pointin toward you, take a hint!

Day Five / First Strand
Hokay, I hab yet to see a good reason for a hoomin to buy a fur or fur-trimmed piece ob clothes. An I am upset 'boud dis.

Yeah, I readed da artykul inna Noo Yawk Times 'bout how wearin fur wuz "oud" because hoomins wuz finally geddin da message dat fur bewongs onna critters dat growed it, bud dat now wearin fur is back "in" again. An I readed da quotes frumma hoomins inna artykul who had ethical pwoblems wif wearin dead animals, anna quotes frumma hoomins who wuld wanna do such a disgustin fing - an you know whut? Dere wuz no good reason ennybunny pud forward for wearin animal fur, 'cept dat it wuz "in fashin".

So whut's dis "fashin"? Is dis sum munny-fing again? I mean, whut does "fashin" mean? I 'spect dat it has sumfing to do wif how pipple feel 'bout demeslbes - wike dey hab to wear certin stuff to feel a certin way. Dat don make sense. I wear my fur an I feel wike me. You wear your skin an feel wike you. You are whut you are; whut you pud onna outside doesn't make you whut you are. No madder whut you wear, you are still whut you are. I am still a bunny.

It wike dis: Maman can pud a harness on me an we kin go toda Church. She an Auntie Paula are tawkin 'boud geddin a certin kind ob harness dat wuld habba shield in colours onna side ob it for Hazel an me. I habben's tawked to Hazel 'boud dis yet, bud I don't fink dat wearin dis harness is gonna make us feel enny dif'frent den we normally do in Church. We will still be bunnies. I will still be an Inkwish Sopt Bunny an Hazel will still be a Fwemmish Giant Bunny. No madder whut kind ob harness we wear, dat won't change.

As far as I kin tell, whut harness we wear won't change da Church. Dere will still be da tabul wiffa cake an cookies onnit after da serbice an dere will still be da crumbs onna floor to be snuffled, anna kidlets feedin us when our Mamans aren't wookin; an dere will still be da nice Priest who finks I'm berry cute an holds me an touches my nose wif his nose. An pwobably, I'll still be wookin for ways to ged up inna Choir where I'm not 'sposed to be, an wanna ged more pets atta Passin Obba Peace, cos dat's why I'm dere, cos I amma "Bassador ob Hope an Peace".

I mean, wearin dat harness isn't gonna change me when I go to Church, and if you'd see Hazel, you know as sure as I'mma bunny dat no harness is gonna change Hazel! We is who we is, no madder whut kinda harness we is wearin!

Anna harness isn't gonna change me intoa dog ora cat or sumfing when I go wif Maman onna bisits to sik pipple, eidder, an I'm sure it's not gonna change Hazel when she goes on her bisits to childwen's an senior's pwaces, eidder. Our harnesses don make us whut we are. Dey mite tell a widdle bit aboud us toda hoomins we meet, bud da harnesses don say a fing aboud us to udder bunnies. Udder bunnies don mind whut sort ob harness we're wearin. Hoomins, well, hoomins seem to wanna hab signs an siggynals to flash to udder hoomins 'boud who dey are, or how impawtant dey are or how much munny dey hab.

An sumhow, "impawtant" hassa wot to do wif "munny" for sum hoomins. Dis seems stwange to me. I dunno how much munny Maman has, bud my Maman issa most impawtant hoomin inna werld to me. She mite not hab enny munny! Bud bunnies don care how much munny our parents hab. We don measure hoomins by munny. Bud hoomins seems to measure udder hoomins by munny, an munny seems to be shown by buyin lives to wear...

So I guess dat's whut "fashin" is - showin off munny. It's wike habbin a sign onna harness, an sumbun wears a dead animal's skin to show dey hab more munny den sumbun else. Dis don make enny sense.

If you gots wots ob munny, instead ob showin it off, wike habbin munny makes you into sumfing, why not use da munny to help sumbun else? Bein able to gib makes you into a lubbin, kindwy hoomin. Not bein able to gib is jus sad an sik. Whuts'sa good ob munny if its not used, or if its just used on stoopid stuff dat nobun aktually needs? A wool coat will keep your skin warm an sheeps don mind gibbin wools. Dey don die frum gibbin wools. Bunnies are borned, lib an den are killed, wif nobun to lub dem, just to gib dere skins.

So whut'cha gonna do - kill to show off?