The Hay Diaries
21 Dec, 15 > 27 Dec, 15
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17 Sep, 12 > 23 Sep, 12
14 Jun, 10 > 20 Jun, 10
7 Jun, 10 > 13 Jun, 10
31 May, 10 > 6 Jun, 10
22 Mar, 10 > 28 Mar, 10
8 Feb, 10 > 14 Feb, 10
25 Jan, 10 > 31 Jan, 10
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11 Jan, 10 > 17 Jan, 10
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11 May, 09 > 17 May, 09
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5 Jan, 09 > 11 Jan, 09
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1 Dec, 08 > 7 Dec, 08
7 Jul, 08 > 13 Jul, 08
23 Jun, 08 > 29 Jun, 08
16 Jun, 08 > 22 Jun, 08
26 May, 08 > 1 Jun, 08
12 May, 08 > 18 May, 08
5 May, 08 > 11 May, 08
31 Mar, 08 > 6 Apr, 08
24 Mar, 08 > 30 Mar, 08
17 Mar, 08 > 23 Mar, 08
10 Mar, 08 > 16 Mar, 08
3 Mar, 08 > 9 Mar, 08
25 Feb, 08 > 2 Mar, 08
18 Feb, 08 > 24 Feb, 08
11 Feb, 08 > 17 Feb, 08
4 Feb, 08 > 10 Feb, 08
28 Jan, 08 > 3 Feb, 08
21 Jan, 08 > 27 Jan, 08
14 Jan, 08 > 20 Jan, 08
17 Dec, 07 > 23 Dec, 07
19 Nov, 07 > 25 Nov, 07
12 Nov, 07 > 18 Nov, 07
5 Nov, 07 > 11 Nov, 07
29 Oct, 07 > 4 Nov, 07
22 Oct, 07 > 28 Oct, 07
8 Oct, 07 > 14 Oct, 07
1 Oct, 07 > 7 Oct, 07
27 Aug, 07 > 2 Sep, 07
20 Aug, 07 > 26 Aug, 07
13 Aug, 07 > 19 Aug, 07
6 Aug, 07 > 12 Aug, 07
23 Jul, 07 > 29 Jul, 07
16 Jul, 07 > 22 Jul, 07
18 Jun, 07 > 24 Jun, 07
11 Jun, 07 > 17 Jun, 07
4 Jun, 07 > 10 Jun, 07
28 May, 07 > 3 Jun, 07
21 May, 07 > 27 May, 07
14 May, 07 > 20 May, 07
30 Apr, 07 > 6 May, 07
23 Apr, 07 > 29 Apr, 07
16 Apr, 07 > 22 Apr, 07
2 Apr, 07 > 8 Apr, 07
26 Mar, 07 > 1 Apr, 07
19 Mar, 07 > 25 Mar, 07
12 Mar, 07 > 18 Mar, 07
5 Mar, 07 > 11 Mar, 07
26 Feb, 07 > 4 Mar, 07
19 Feb, 07 > 25 Feb, 07
12 Feb, 07 > 18 Feb, 07
22 Jan, 07 > 28 Jan, 07
15 Jan, 07 > 21 Jan, 07
8 Jan, 07 > 14 Jan, 07
1 Jan, 07 > 7 Jan, 07
25 Dec, 06 > 31 Dec, 06
18 Dec, 06 > 24 Dec, 06
11 Dec, 06 > 17 Dec, 06
4 Dec, 06 > 10 Dec, 06
27 Nov, 06 > 3 Dec, 06
6 Nov, 06 > 12 Nov, 06
30 Oct, 06 > 5 Nov, 06
2 Oct, 06 > 8 Oct, 06
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11 Sep, 06 > 17 Sep, 06
28 Aug, 06 > 3 Sep, 06
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14 Aug, 06 > 20 Aug, 06
7 Aug, 06 > 13 Aug, 06
17 Jul, 06 > 23 Jul, 06
10 Jul, 06 > 16 Jul, 06
3 Jul, 06 > 9 Jul, 06
26 Jun, 06 > 2 Jul, 06
19 Jun, 06 > 25 Jun, 06
12 Jun, 06 > 18 Jun, 06
5 Jun, 06 > 11 Jun, 06
29 May, 06 > 4 Jun, 06
22 May, 06 > 28 May, 06
15 May, 06 > 21 May, 06
8 May, 06 > 14 May, 06
1 May, 06 > 7 May, 06
24 Apr, 06 > 30 Apr, 06
17 Apr, 06 > 23 Apr, 06
6 Mar, 06 > 12 Mar, 06
27 Feb, 06 > 5 Mar, 06
13 Feb, 06 > 19 Feb, 06
6 Feb, 06 > 12 Feb, 06
30 Jan, 06 > 5 Feb, 06
9 Jan, 06 > 15 Jan, 06
2 Jan, 06 > 8 Jan, 06
19 Dec, 05 > 25 Dec, 05
12 Dec, 05 > 18 Dec, 05
5 Dec, 05 > 11 Dec, 05
28 Nov, 05 > 4 Dec, 05
21 Nov, 05 > 27 Nov, 05
14 Nov, 05 > 20 Nov, 05
31 Oct, 05 > 6 Nov, 05
17 Oct, 05 > 23 Oct, 05
10 Oct, 05 > 16 Oct, 05
3 Oct, 05 > 9 Oct, 05
27 Jun, 05 > 3 Jul, 05
20 Jun, 05 > 26 Jun, 05
6 Jun, 05 > 12 Jun, 05
23 May, 05 > 29 May, 05
16 May, 05 > 22 May, 05
11 Apr, 05 > 17 Apr, 05
4 Apr, 05 > 10 Apr, 05
28 Mar, 05 > 3 Apr, 05
21 Mar, 05 > 27 Mar, 05
21 Feb, 05 > 27 Feb, 05
7 Feb, 05 > 13 Feb, 05
31 Jan, 05 > 6 Feb, 05
24 Jan, 05 > 30 Jan, 05
17 Jan, 05 > 23 Jan, 05
10 Jan, 05 > 16 Jan, 05
6 Dec, 04 > 12 Dec, 04
29 Nov, 04 > 5 Dec, 04
22 Nov, 04 > 28 Nov, 04
15 Nov, 04 > 21 Nov, 04
18 Oct, 04 > 24 Oct, 04
27 Sep, 04 > 3 Oct, 04
20 Sep, 04 > 26 Sep, 04
6 Sep, 04 > 12 Sep, 04
30 Aug, 04 > 5 Sep, 04
23 Aug, 04 > 29 Aug, 04
16 Aug, 04 > 22 Aug, 04
9 Aug, 04 > 15 Aug, 04
2 Aug, 04 > 8 Aug, 04
26 Jul, 04 > 1 Aug, 04
19 Jul, 04 > 25 Jul, 04
5 Jul, 04 > 11 Jul, 04
28 Jun, 04 > 4 Jul, 04
21 Jun, 04 > 27 Jun, 04
14 Jun, 04 > 20 Jun, 04
7 Jun, 04 > 13 Jun, 04
31 May, 04 > 6 Jun, 04
24 May, 04 > 30 May, 04
17 May, 04 > 23 May, 04
10 May, 04 > 16 May, 04
3 May, 04 > 9 May, 04
26 Apr, 04 > 2 May, 04
19 Apr, 04 > 25 Apr, 04
12 Apr, 04 > 18 Apr, 04
5 Apr, 04 > 11 Apr, 04
29 Mar, 04 > 4 Apr, 04
22 Mar, 04 > 28 Mar, 04
15 Mar, 04 > 21 Mar, 04
8 Mar, 04 > 14 Mar, 04
1 Mar, 04 > 7 Mar, 04
23 Feb, 04 > 29 Feb, 04
16 Feb, 04 > 22 Feb, 04
9 Feb, 04 > 15 Feb, 04
2 Feb, 04 > 8 Feb, 04
26 Jan, 04 > 1 Feb, 04
19 Jan, 04 > 25 Jan, 04
12 Jan, 04 > 18 Jan, 04
5 Jan, 04 > 11 Jan, 04
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Saturday, 17 January 2004
Day For'teen / First Strand
Dere issa noo blog for you to reed. Id is wisted ober dere onna menu side obba blog page. It's my friend, SA's, Warren's Blog, called Rabbit Journals. To unnerstan housebunnies, you shuld reed it, becos houserabbits are all dif'frunt an hab dif'frunt ideas an 'pinions an cirkumstances, bud we all gedda'long wif each udder an balue each udder - we are allus eekquil. We allus see LIFE frum wun foot offa ground. Seein LIFE frum wun foot offa ground wets you know how dif'frunt an good LIFE can be.

SA an me mite be dif'frun bunnies, bud we is yoonited byda fakt dat we are bunnies. Bunnies are not dibided byda way dey are coloured, or da type ob bunny dat dey are. For hextample, I amma Inkwish Spot kinda bunny. SA iss notta Inkwish Spot, bud he wuld be welcome to be in Our Warren, doh, just cos he issa rabbit. We don discrimmynate. Bein a bunny is gud enuf for us.

Tiday Maman sed she wants to cwean. Dis issa pwoblem. She shuld do it my way, ob course. Whenna house gets full ob stuff, wike pooties, digga noo burrow, an go lib in dat pwace an leab dis mess assit is. If we need ennyfing frum it, we kin allus come back an ged it. Datssa rabbit way. Inna wild, da Warren issa constantwy hexpandin entity. Whenna does is diggin, we're hexkavatin noo burrows to moob into. Dis cweanin fing issa waste ob time.

Bud Maman is determined. She allus is determined after she has been sik. She was sik yestidday wif wunna dose "migraine" headaches where she is frowin up an wyin down an frowin up an wyin down. Sumtimes id gets so bad dat she bumps inno da walls an den Dadda hasta come an steer her inna rite direkshuns cos she is wost. She don wook berry much wike our Maman: her hair is ebberywhere an her face is all white an her eyes is bloody an wet. Most ob all, she can't stand up for holdin her head on an her stomach in.

Most hoomins ged headaches an a wotta udder hoomins say dey hab migraines, bud dey don seem to ged as bad as Maman. Ebbery ten minutes, she is eidder climbin outta bed or innit. Missy seed her yestidday an godda skirt an stawted thumpin to wet me know dat sumfing was wrong. I runned to da frunt obba habbytat an seed Maman fall against da side obba doorway so I thumped wif Missy.

Now when I thump, it issa Big Thing here at Our Warren cos I ushually don thump all dat much. Sistah was downnastairs bud she commed up when she herd me an found Maman.

So da Sistah gotted da Lad an togedder dey gotted Maman back inna bed. Sistah cawed da doctor, which issa hoomin V-E-T, an he sent ober sum more medycine. Da Lad gotted Da Basin for Maman to be sik in. Denna catz gotted in onna act an went ta sit wif Maman, for alla gud dey did. Catz is not to be trusted, cos all dey do is come in atta end ob fings an twy to steel your credit. But Sistah wassn't fooled. She gibbed Missy an me Craisins for bein good an soundin da Allarum.

Well, we're always gud. We are rabbits. When we see dat wun inna Warren is in Trubble, we ged help. Dat's why id is impawtant for nobunny to ebber be On Alone. Bemember dat I told you aboud how terrible it is to be On Alone? Bein On Alone means dat dere is no wun dere for you an you are not dere for anybun. In Our Warren, nun ob us are ebber On Alone. We are alla us togedder pawt obba Warren. We watch ober an help each udder. Maman takes care ob us wif salads an wadder an pets an fings. We take care ob her by geddin help when she is sik. Sistah anna Lad help by helpin when we thump. Wife inna Warren issa co-oppy-ray-tib effort. It's Alla Us Togedder.

Cept for dis cweanin fing. I don fink Maman shuld be doin it tiday. Neffer does Dadda. He finks Maman shuld rest tidday. Sistah sed Maman finks too much an shuld twy an stop alla finkin for once.

I fink she shuld just digga noo burrow an be dun wiffit.


Posted by Our Warren at 10:06 AM EST
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Friday, 16 January 2004
Day Firteen / First Strand
Wike I told you, I amma bunny. Dat's a Lagomorph, notta rodent - aldoh I gots noffin against rodents as house pets enny more den I hab against dawgs or catz or ebben small hoomins as house pets. It's just dat Lagomorphs make bedder house-pets, an I can say dis wif certinty cos I am wun.

For wun fing, bunnies are mostwy quiet. Wun obba fings datta WerldWideWeb has done is dat id has gibbin bunnies a Boice. Until dis 'puter fing showed up, bunnies didn't tawk or bark, or make much inna way ob sounds. We mostwy just stayed in our habbytats an relied on body wanguage to ged our points acrost. Da fact dat hoomins aren't da most obserbant ob species made communycatin berry diffycult.

Unwess dey are twained, hoomins don pick up much on body wanguage; ebben dere own body wanguage issa mystery to dem. I seed dat da udder day when Maman was tawkin toda Sistah. Da Sistah was standin atta door toda Bun Room, bud she wassn' wookin attus. Maman culdn't see her, cos Maman was inna Baf Room. Bad moob onna Maman's pawt - cos dere is Maman tawkin away an she's not watchin da Sistah, so she's not seein whut I'm seein, which is datta Sistah is shiftin her weight frum one foot to da udder, an bitin her finger an geddin more an more ajjytated. So whenna Sistah s'ploded , Maman wuz all shocked an 'prised.

Maman shuld hab seed it comin. I did.

In general, Maman is preddy good aboud seein body wanguage, doh. She kin see who needsa kiss. A kiss issn a Lagamorph fing. Itsa hoomin fing. In some ways, its a wot wike gwooming is in Lagomorph. Bunnies gwoom each udder to show who is Top Bun. Top Bun GED gwoomed. Udder buns DO da gwoomin. Dis is pweddy simple. Iffa Top Bun wants to gwoom you, dis issa 'peshul fabour; means you are pard obba fambly, pard obba Warren. Dis is where gwoomin an hoomin kissin seem to be awike.

I wet Maman kiss me. Den she pets me. Den I gwoom her. We are Top Buns togedder. Onna Udder Paw, Hunny wets Maman kiss him, an den he wikes her to pet him, bud he will onwy gib her wun wick once inna gweat while, bud he doesn gwoom her. Dis is cos he issa Male an he usta beda Top Bun an hasn't gotten ober it yet. He knows he's too old to beda REEL Top Bun (which is me) bud I don make a ishoo ob it, an we don fuss aboud it. Bud he doesn't DO gwoomin. He GEDS gwoomed. He still hassat idea in his hed. Bud still, gibbin Maman a wick or two issa gweat honour in his estymashun, an Maman unnerstands dat an tweats it assa honour. Den again, Hunny's her "Mawmie's Boy".

Maman kisses Dadda, an she kisses da Lad an she kisses Sista. She hugs too. It's hoomin body wanguage for wettin hoomins know dat dey are part obba Warren.

Bud a wotta times, when Maman is huggin udders, an kissin dem an makin dem feel dat dey are part obba Warren, dere is sumfing in her body wanguage dat seems to me to say dat she doesn't feel part obba Warren at all. She wooks wike id, bud doesn't feel wike it. Id is wike she gibes da kisses, anna hugs anna wicks anna pets, bud wike Hunny, da udders don communycate back to her too much or too often. 'Cept Dadda. Dadda is wike my Hawthorn was.

I communycated a wot wif Hawthorn, wike Dadda does wif Maman. Ob alla bunnies heer, Hawthorn an I unnerstood each udder best. Hawthorn gwoomed me an I gwoomed him an we were nebber far apawt. Dat's why I feel sorry for Maman when Dadda goes to werk. Den Maman is On Alone till he comes back again. Dey sumtimes gedda e-mails to each udder - nod oftin, doh cos fings atta werk aren't rite - an den Maman is happy when she reads whutta Dadda typed. So Maman wikes da 'puter forda same reeson dat I do: it gibs us a Boice.

Boices are impawtant. To be able to speak, ebben wiffa body is impawtant. To hab opinions, to fink, to lub sumbun, to tell sumwun else aboud you an to wearn aboud udder fings - alla dis communycation is berry impawtant. Cos dis is why we hab bwains, I fink, so dat we will continue to gwow wiser.

An who knows, mebbe to gwow wiser, mebbe dis issa whole point ob bein a bunny.

Posted by Our Warren at 4:20 AM EST
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Thursday, 15 January 2004
Day Twelbe / First Strand
Thursday. It has snowed oudside an Maman sed to Dadda dat id is gonna ged berry cold (wike it issn't alreddy) all fru da day tidday. He was sneezin atta time she wuz tellin him dis an compwainin dat he didn feel gud. He finks he is "comin down wiffa cold". So basically, he is startin wiffa cold an he is goin oudside intoda cold where it is expectin to ged colder.

Yeah, dis makes all kinds ob sense.

It wike wif dis "Foster" fing. We got SnoBall heer. He's a widdle bunny, all white wif rings ob black fur aroun his eyes an widdle black tips onna ends ob his widdle ears. Berry cute. His most prom'nint featchur is dat he is round - round widdle hed, round widdle body wiffa round widdle tail tacked onna back ob his round widdle butt. Fink "annymated powder-puff" an you goddit.

He came heer when he gots frowed outta his 'partment. He had libbed dere fora couple ob years wif his mawmie, his dadda, his brudder anna dawg. Den sum udder hoomins bought da 'partment dey were all libbin in. Da udder hoomins found oud 'boud SnoBall an his brudder anna dawg an said, "NO PETS ALLOWED!" Jus wike dat. His mawmie didn'habba money to moob, so it wooked a wot wike SnoBall was gonna end up homewess - bud, his mawmie knew Maman. An so ob course insted ob bein homewess, he comed heer.

So he was onwy gonna stay heer until his Mawmie culd find a noo pwace to lib where dey wuld "ALLOW PETS". So far, she's had no wuck.

Maman told us dat SnoBall stayin wif us meant dat he wassa "Foster" bunny. Well, dat made sense. So his name, we figgered, was "Foster". SnoBall Foster. Wots ob bunnies gots more den wun name, you know, wike "Lilly Churchbunny", an "Preston Pee Bunny", (who had free names) an "Wee Willy Wonka", an den I know a big white bunny whose name is "Christmas" alla year wong. So "SnoBall Foster" didn rilly stwike enny ob us assa odd name cos we heer at Our Warren know a wotta bunnies frum PB who habba wast name ob "Foster" A wot obba "Foster" clan libs in shelters, sadwy. My friend, Casper, frum Bunny Haven Rescue told me dat dere ara wotta "Fosters" libbin at his pwace.

Which is sad, you know? Whutsit aboudda Foster family dat dere is so many obb'em libbin in shelters? We feel sorta bad for SnoBall. Here's a berry nice bunny an he's a Foster, troo, bud he's heer in Our Warren onna temp'rary basis. He still gots his berries, so he can't habba bonded friend, he hasta lib by himself, an hab his pwaytime by himself, an he hasta lib inna cage fing his mawmie brought, which is preddy big, bud still, it's not wike our habbytats dat hab solid floors an are big enuf to run in. He has *almost* ebberyting dat we hab, bud not quite. It wuld be nice if he culd moob in wif Missy or me an share our habbytats an toys an stuff. We all ged tweats an salads, so dere is pwenty ob food aroun heer, no madder where you happen to be libbin, budda habbytats are nicer denna stoopid cage, ennyday.

I wuldn't mind habbin a bondmate again. My Hawthorn went toda Rainbow Bridge wast Summer. Da Black Rabbit came for him, an he went away wif him. I was dere an I seed it. Hawthorn didn mind goin, cos he was berry sik, bud I miss him, you know? He wassa berry 'peschul bunny wif his widdle floppy ears an his widdle puzzle face. I wuldn't mind habbin SnoBall moob in wif me. He wuld be comp'ny an we culd gwoom an nap an do projects an ebberyting togedder. Mebbe he wuld sweep wif his widdle hed on my back wike Hawthorn did.

Well, ennyway, in comes Maman yestidday an says dat she's gonna caw SnoBall's mawmie an see if he kin stay wif us. Den she 'splained dat she's gonna see 'boudda name-change for SnoBall, an how he's not gonna be "Foster" ennymore, an wose his berries an mebbe moob in wif sumbun an alla dat stuff. She just 'nnounced it straight off, wike Maman does - full-steam ahed, talk-as-you-pwease.

An den she gibbed ebberybun a Craisin an weft.

Well, SnoBall anna rest ob us tawked it ober an we is berry puzzled now. If he's not gonna be SnoBall Foster, den who is he gonna be? An whut's Maman changin his name for? Whut's wrong wif his name?

Dis makes aboud as much sense as sendin Dadda, who alreddy hassa cold, outside intoda cold to ged colder. You know?

Posted by Our Warren at 8:47 AM EST
Updated: Thursday, 15 January 2004 8:51 AM EST
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Wednesday, 14 January 2004
Day Eleven / First Strand
Dere are fings heer dat are berry strange.

Do you know dat downnastairs, Maman hassa whole gwoup ob rabbits dat hab no smell? We hab been discussin it on PB (dat e-list I told you aboud) an dere ara number ob udder bunnies whose Mawmies hab Rabbits Dat Hab No Smell, too. Dey aren't always inna house wike da wuns heer; sumtimes dey are outside inna garden an sumtimes dey are onna frunt porch, or udder pwaces, bud alla bunny-parents seem to hab dem.

I figger dat it has to do wif Announcin To Da Werld. Hoomins do a wot ob dis Announcin To Da Werld by whut dey wook wike. Dey pud on clothes inna certain way, or behabe inna certin way, or wear dere hair on dere heds inna certin way, all so dat dey can Announce To Da Werld who dey are or whut dey are or sumfing.

Yestidday da Sistah was heer. She was inna Baf Room, puddin stinky stuff on her hed an den rinsin it off. When she god done, she sed to Maman, "Dissis gweat. It didn't come oud wikea strawberry."

Now is interested me, cos I wike strawberries fora tweat, an if Sistah had sum, den ob course I wanted to know when to expect dem to appear inna Bun Room. All tweats come inna Bun Room, you know. So sure enuf, Sistah comes inna Bun Room an I wooks at her wiadin to see da strawberries, an den I notice dat alla sudden, her heds a dif'frunt colour. It wooks red, not her usushal sort ob silbery blonde colour. An she goes an picks up SnoBall an axts him,

"Whut'cha fink, SnoBall? I didn't come out all pink!"

An he's wookin at her an wrinklin his nose cos she smells funny, wike a bag ob chemikals.

An I'm finkin to myself whut he's finkin, "No, you don't wook pink, bud you smell almost as bad assa wet collie dawg."

Anna Sistah says, "Now I'm preddy."

"Preddy, whut?" Says SnowBall, pullin as far back frum her as he kin wiffout fallin onna floor. "Good fing I can smell dat you is still Sistah unnerneaf alla dat udder smell, cos udderwise, I wanna ged down now."

'Zactly whut is she Announcin To Da Werld wif her noo colour hair? Dat she is not Pink. Well, I spose dat issa good fing. Bud she wuz preddy before she wassn't pink, too, before she went an putted alla dat stuff on her hed. She defin-itwy smelt bedder. Bud I don fink dat hoomins care too much aboud smells unwess dey are bad wuns, an ebben den, dey aren't too discrimmynatin. I mean, dere are smells dat are bad cos dey is dangerous an smells dat are bad cos dey mean food is no good, an smells dat are bad for a wotta udder reasons. Not habbin enny smell at all issa bad fing, too, which hoomins seem to miss da point ob.

Wike da rabbits dat hab no smell downnastairs. Who are you wifoutta smell? Dis is why I go an sit wif dose poor rabbits when I'm down dere. So dey know dat dey are sumbun by smellin ob me. Den we is Alla Us Togedder. We all smell awike.

Bein seen means nuffin. In fact, bein seen can be dangerous if you is bein seen by a preddytor. Bud rilly, atta end obba day, whut'cha wook wike issn't impawtant. Don' hoomins know dat you kin wook wike ennyfing, bud how you smell means ebberyfing. Announcin To Da Werld by wooks is onwy da bow onna bag - wooks doesn't say ennyfing aboud you cos dey can change or come off. Smell, now, dat's forebber.

Twust your nose.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:04 AM EST
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Tuesday, 13 January 2004
Day Ten / First Strand
Well, I taked yestidday off cos dere was too much noise goin on aroun heer for a bunny to fink, much wess werk onna blog.

Da Big Sistah came ober heer rilly early inna mornin wif her widdle puppy dawg an made big noise, jus 'boud de-railin ebberybunny's train ob thought before it god ouddada station. It is hard to fink when you're sittin heer inna warm, peaceful Bun Room habbin your sekund brekfust, anna furst fing you hear issa frunt door opinin, an den Maman sqalkin wikea chikin assa puppy cwoses it's jaws on her ankul.

So stwike downna blog an cwank uppa anxiety lebbels.

Aboud da onwy pwace dat was safe frumma puppy was eidder da Bun Room orda Baf Room, an Maman was kinda osillatin between bof.

Baf Rooms are interestin pwaces - wike Disney Wand wif Fawcets.

Now you habba unnerstand dat rabbits are cwean. We don wike dirt where we lib, ebben inna wild. Wild bunnies dig burrows, called "Warrens" an dees, as I've menshuned, hab barious "rooms" in dem, connected by tunnels, dat serb specific purposes. We don go potty, for example, inna area reserbed for gadderings, an we don gadder inna area reserbed for pooties.

When we bunnies are houserabbits, we use witterboxes or as we say, pootie-boxes. I habba warge, maroon pootie-box dat Maman fills wif Yesterday's News witter. Sum hoomins use udder stuff for witter, wike Carefresh, or Feline Pine or ebben wood stobe pellets cobbered wif hay. Sum hoomins use a wotta hay inna pootie boxes in order to twain dere bunnies to use witter boxes, an dis is hokay, bud as I menshuned, cept datta hay geds all ober da pwace.

I'm tellin you alla dis for two reasons. One is to point oud dat bunnies are NOT dirty pets. We are berry clean. Da sekund reason is to point oud dat we don't inbolb wadder in our pootie boxes. Dis is why Baf Room seem to us to be berry stwange.

Baf Rooms, howebber, seem to hab ebberyfing to do wif wadder. Furst dere are Toy-Lets. I wooked in wun ob dees an dey seem to be round ponds dat you sit on. I can unnerstand siddin next to a pond to watch da fishies ora frogs orda fings dat lib innit, bud unwike ponds, dere's no fish or frogs inna toy-lets. An you don sit "next" to dem, hoomins sit "on" dem. If dey hab big enuf hindquarters, dey are safe an you kin go up to dem an ged petted. I hab gone up to Dadda an been petted while he is sittin onna pond. He's not doin ennyfing, so why not? Bud I werry a widdle 'boud Maman. Her hindquarters is smaller. Whud if she falls fru da hole? Whutssa point ob her bein dere since she don fit cor'rectwy ober da pond? Dis issa werry.

I noticed, too, datta toy-wets hab okashunal storms in dem, doh, whenna wadder swirls aroun an den suddenly disappears. Maman showed me dis an I found it puzzwing. I mean, dere's a storm inna widdle pond. Big deal. It makes noise. Big deal. I jus god down an hopped away. I fink she was dissypointed in me, bud I don' know why.

Next, dere seems to be a Pond Inna Sky. Dis is where Maman an Dadda gib me anna udder bunnies Butt-bafs when we need dem. Dey call dis Pond-Inna-Sky da "zink". 'Parentwy, wadder comes outta a tube an fills it up anna 'nudder hole wets da wadder out. Dis issa nudder wun ob dose "big deals" dat Maman finks I shuld be interested in, bud I'm not. I wike explorin, an I wike wookin around inna Baf Room just wike I wike wookin around in ebbery room, bud Baf Room are just weird. Dey are full ob wadder an ponds bud you can't pway in enny ob dem unwess sumbun organises da whole fing for you. Wike Disney Wand, you gotta ged sumbun else to organise your fun for you.

Den dere issa Rilly Big Pond where Dadda can lie down. Dis is scarey. He can also make it rain in dere, an contwol fog. Bud onwy in dis wun room can he make rain an fog. No udder room inna house has Wedder. Da udder rooms do not seem to hab Fog Contwols in dem, cos I onwy ebber see da Fog come rollin outta da Baf Room after it rains in dere. It rains in dere oftin, an da hoomins go INTO da rain in dere, whereas dey run OUTTA da rain outside. Make sense to you? Not me eidder.

Dere is also sum screamin associated wiffa rain inna Baf Room. You cannot, I've noticed, habba storm inna Toy-Let atta same time as you are makin rain an fog. Dadda cannot hab tea atta same time as Maman is inna rain inna Baf Room. It is hokay if she is usin da Pond-Inna-Sky, bud it is not hokay if she is makin it rain or habbin Fog. Turnin onna wadder for tea downnastairs makes Maman scream uppystairs. It's anudder interestin fakt.

Dere is also sum speshul fwowers or sumfing smelly inna Baf Room. I kin smell sumfing fwower-ish alla time, but I nebber see dem. Howebber, just cos I can't see dem doesn't mean dat dey aren't dere. Dey are dere. My nose doesn't lie. Dere are fwowers inna Baf Room. Well, not rilly fwowers, but pretend fwowers, wike sumbun's Idea of Whut Fwowers Mite Smell Wike If Dey Had Only Ebber Herd 'Boud Fwowers. Sort ob Whut sumbun finks issa Colour Bloo if dey nebber seed it...or a rock aboud dat flaybber... if you know whut I mean. A smell dat has gradd-gee-ated into a stink.

Enny way, da Baf Room always smells somehow or annudder an it nebber seems to smell rite, cossa hoomins are allus bwingin home noo stuff an twyin to make it smell dif'frent.

You hear Maman come in frumma store an she runs uppystairs, an den you hear sumfing go "psssssst", wike it's tellin you a sekret. Den comes da stink, spreadin out wike inbizable fog, an you hear Maman say,

"Smell dat?" an I'll sniff da air, an well, *sumfing* sure does smell, an den she'll say,

"Issn't dat nice?" an I'll fink,

"Wookit, wady, I don wanna hurt your feelins or nuffin, bud...well, Hunny up-wind after he hassa tummy-full ob Romaine smells bedder den dat."

Bud I don say ennyfing, cos sumtimes, you know, it's easier to be soft on Maman cos tellin her da troof wuld just be too hard.

Posted by Our Warren at 11:11 AM EST
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Saturday, 10 January 2004
Day Nine / First Strand
Whut's dis? Hmmmm... Da 'Puter is "ON".

H-U-N-N-Y

Dis is me.

*ponder*

Belinda issn't heer rite now. She is upstairs asleep. I kin heer her snorin. Makes a sorta buzzy sound when she's snorin' ...bzzzz... buzzzz... buzzzz... She duzzn't know I'm highjackin her blog dis aftanoon...

*stop, ponder*

Well, she's not usin da blog, an it's goin to waste. Besides, tiday is her day "OFF". She's "OFF". I'm "ON".

*bunnychuckle, subsides, ponder; trundle to water-crock*

Poet gibs me too many bafs. I'll tell you dat for nuffin.

*drink, dribble*

Whut's a bunny to do?

*drink, dribble, ponder, dribble*

I'm too old for dis ....

*snort, sneeze*

Oops, shubbed my hed in a liddle far dat time...
Can't see where da wadder starts anna bowl ends... godda cattyract inna eye, Maman sed... she taked me toda V-E-T 'boud id... it's cos I'm berry owd da V-E-T sed... oops, godda my ear innit, waid...

*shake>*

Dat's bedder... huh?...oh, Sorry Missy...

*trundle*

Darn. Wadder on my feets... hmmm...

*track, track*

Waid a minit, godda siddown an gedda paw up here an wick da wadder off...check my butt...

*grunt*

Washa face a widdle... dere... whut?... Shaddup, Belinda!

*pause, listen*

Iz she wakin up? Darn... humph, mebbe not...

*shake, fluff, trundle, trundle, trip*

Who weft my cup dere?...

*throw, toss*

Hokay, fixed dat... so I wuz goin toward da pootie-box wassn' I? No, da 'puter... Dis is Belinda's day "OFF". Me, Hunny's day "ON".

*stop, ponder, peer*

...oh, hullo, Poet... you're glarin... whut'sa'madder? Uh-oh... wet me fink...

Oh no, not my ears!

*skitter, pootie, RUN ---------->

Posted by Our Warren at 1:41 PM EST
Updated: Saturday, 10 January 2004 1:47 PM EST
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Friday, 9 January 2004
Day Eight / First Strand
Id issa middul ob Wintur, I fink. At weast id is berry cold outside. I know dis cossa Dadda comed in heer an sed it wuz. Da Dadda allus tells us da troof aboud stuff. Dis is why he issa Dadda.

Ebbery two or free days, Dadda an Maman come inna Bun Room an collect alla pooties frum our witter-boxes. Now nine bunnies can make a wotta pooties. Dadda says dat we ara most efficient conberters ob hay inno pooties dat he has ebber seen, an dis incloods cows. Which must be preddy good, cos Dadda has seen a wotta cows before he came ober heer to lib wif us. Dey must habba wotta cows in Inkland.

At furst, I didn unnerstand whut he an Maman wanted wif alla pooties. I mean, wet's be wogical aboud dis: before I libbed inna shelter, I libbed sumpwace else an dat hoomin dat I wuz libbin wif wasn't inno pootie collectin. Den I went to lib atta shelter wif Auntie Laura. Now dere wassa wady who was inno pootie collectin. She collected dem alla time, just wike Maman an Dadda do. Gibba bunny a witter-pan, pud nice witter innit, waid a day or two, den dump da witter pan inna bag an we stawt da whole fing ober again. If you axt me, da whole system seems preddy pointwess, bud hoomins seem fond ob it.

Well, ennyway, Maman an Dadda 'dopted Hawthorn. Hawthorn wassa widdle white Holland Lop bunny wif bloo eyes who was mostwy deaf (which means he couldn't heer). It's not unusuhal for widdle white bunnies wif bloo eyes to be deaf, but it was hokay, cos he wassa berry smawt, berry cute widdle guy an I lubbed him as soon as I saw him. We moobed in togedder an bonded. Bunnies bond for life, bedder denna wotta hoomins, an, wike hoomins, sum bonds are bedder den udders. Hawthorn an I hadda rilly good bond, da bestest kind, for his whole widdle wife, until he went toda Bridge. I still miss him, you know.

Bud wike I sed, Hawthorn was berry smawt. He watched Maman an Daddy do dis pootie-box fing a coupla times an since he wassa good bunny, he got to be outta da habbytat a wot. He wassn a chewer, ora mad explorer or ennyfing, an Maman culd pik him up wif one hand (unwike me, dat needs two hands anna wotta "innerackshun" whutebber dat is.). So he culd be downnastairs to watch whut Dadda did wiffa bags ob pooties after he taked dem outta da Bun Room.

Well, Dadda taked da bag ob pooties, an you know whut? He pwanted dem inna garden! Pwanted pooties! Hawthorn seed it! Dadda taked da bags ob pooties an pwanted dem inna garden, an just weft dem dere to grow. Dat's whut fings do inna garden - dey grow.

An den, a coupla days waiter, Maman comes into da Bun Room, an she has dis bag wif widdle round fings innit.

"Who wantsa 'mater?"

So I axted Hawthorn whut da heck issa 'mater? An we went ober to habba wook at whut Maman is settin oud onna floor. It's dees widdle round balls, wike gwapes, onwy dees are bwight wed wif widdle green tops onn'em.

An Maman sed: "Dere fresh frumma garden!"

An I'm finkin, "Hold on! Issn't dat where Dadda dumped alla dose pooties?"

Bud Hawthorn's alweddy got his mouf full. An he wooks at me wif 'mater juice tricklin' down his widdle chin, an his bloo eyes get buggy an he opins his mouf an oud falls da 'mater.

An just den Hunny yells frum his habbytat: "She's twyin to poison us!" an suddwy, da whole Warren is wookin at dees 'mater fings an figgerin dat dey will happily gib dem a miss, since we all know da troof now.

'Maters comes frum pwantin pooties.

Bud Maman wooks rilly hurt, an she calls downnastairs to Dadda an tells him dat we won't eatta 'maters. So Dadda comes uppa stairs an reaches inna bag dat Maman has. And HE EATS ONNA DA 'MATERS! Den he shrugs an says, "I dunno whut's wrong wif dem." an goes away downnastairs agin.

I sed datta Dadda allus tells us da troof. I didn't say he wuz smawt.

Bud I stay 'way frum 'maters if I wuz you.

Posted by Our Warren at 9:47 AM EST
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Thursday, 8 January 2004
Day Sebben / First Strand
Eatin. We all gotta do it. We do it heer at Our Warren an if you wanna belieb Maman, we do a wot ob it. We hab salads, pellets and hay. Oh, an tweats. Yeah, wots ob tweats. In fact, tweats is wun ob my favouritest subjeks.

We ged a wotta tweats heer. Mainly ebbery nite at 10:00 p.m. Maman an Dadda gadder outsidea door obba Bun Room an you kin hear `em tawkin, "You reddy?" an den Dadda will say, "I gotta nanner an I'm notta `fraid to use it." (For sum reason he finds dis funny.) An den suddenwy da barrier slides to one side an in dey come, usually Dadda furst wif Maman behin him. Dey come in inna hurry cos ob Hunny bein owd.

See, Daddy says Hunny issa "Sly owd bugger". An dat's aboud rite. Cos Hunny wants to ged his tweats furst, bud he's not as close toda door as I am. I shuld gedda tweats furst onna'count ob my bein Top Bun an Hed Rabbit an all, bud Hunny usta beda Top Bun before he gots too owd for it, so he hadda figger oud sum way to keep on geddin da tweats before ennybunny else. So dis is how he does it: He stands up on his back wegs.

Now Hunny, periscopin on his hind wegs, isn't da most steady fing inna werld. In fact, wif Poet, his bond-mate, bargin around wike a brown-an-white bumper-car he's at risk ob bein knocked offa his feets at enny sekond. An cos he's owd, he's fragile. So Maman an Dadda are skert dat he'll be knocked ober by Poet, an dere's da owd fool standin up wike a strainin stachu, an Poet runnin around wike a demented hampster (onwy six hunnert times da size), so dey rush in to gib da owd fools dere tweats furst before enny disasters happen.

Hunny mite be owd an fortygetful an ebbery mornin mite be a noo adbenchur for him in bein Hunny, bud in sum ways, he's stilla preddy smawt owd bunny.

Maman an Dadda say I amma "garbage gut". Dis is cos I will eat enny tweats I kin ged my toofies into. Well, wouldn't'chu? I mean, tweats are not all *dat* fick onna gwound. Dat's why dey are tweats an not food. Food is whut'chu ged ebbery day. It appears inna bowl an dere it is until you eat allob it. Id is mostwy plain, ordinary an dere. Tweats, onna udder paw are not allus dere. Dey onwy come in at nite, an dey are speshul.

Dey are mostwy froot, wike appuls, `nanners, blooberries, or gwapes. Or dey can be herbs, wike dillweed or mint dat tickuls your nose. Sumtimes tweats are fings dat come in bags frumma speshul Tweat Store. Dese fings are wike Craisins - dried, sweetened cranberries frumma Ocean Spray Company, or udder dried froots wike apprycots, or blooberries. Now dees are premium tweats. Prunes aren't bad edder, bud dey wack a certin sumfing in my opinion. Raisins are nice, too, bud for reel tweatness, you can't beat Craisins.

An just when you finked dat nobun could improb on perfekshun, dey went an made flavoured Crasins! Yeah, for reel, bunny-pleasin tweats, you can't beat dose pipple atta Ocean Spray Company. I habba feelin dat sumbun dere must be a bunny-parent, onna'count ob Craisins are da most tawked-aboud tweat onna e-mail wist, PB, dat I was telling you my Maman bewongs to. Dere are aboud five hunnert hoomins onna wist an aboud sebbin hunnert bunnies, an Crasins area big topik ob diskusshin. You wanna stock-tip frumma bunny? Buy stock in dat Ocean Spray Company. Dat company is gonna go pwaces.

Udder fings dat make a good tweat is carrots.

An Maman sed dat whut's good aboud tweats for bunnies is dat dey are also good choices for snaks for hoomins. Now dat caught my `tenshun. Cos dere ara wotta fat hoomins around, or so I been reading inna noos papers. A wotta pipple are blamin adbertizin for bein too fluffy, as we bunnies say. Dey say dat nobun told dem aboud "healthy choices" in food an dat alla adbertizin is geared toward makin young hoomins eat food dat is not good for dem. So I'm doin a pubwik serbice heer an tawkin aboud healthy tweats tiday.

Cos ebberybunny deserbs a tweat now an den. At 10:00 p.m. Ebbery nite. Wiffout fail. =:x)

Posted by Our Warren at 8:49 AM EST
Updated: Wednesday, 7 January 2004 2:26 PM EST
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Wednesday, 7 January 2004
Day Six / First Strand
Da Sun is oud. Id is berry cold heer now, an I'm not jus tawkin your normal Winter cold, I'm tawkin da reel find-your-bond-mate-wet's-snuggle type-ob cold dat makes me gwad I godda fur coat on alla time.

Not dat it's cold inna Bun Room. It's not. Maman's gotta Heeder inna innerds obba houz on an it's roarin. Hunny sed he digested a pikchur inna buk obba fing called a "Dragon" dat belches fire. Wooks sorta wike a big wizzard wif spikes, he sed, wif teef anna big nose an no fur. Bud den, Hunny's been at dose buk-cases inna Liberry for yeers, so he's seen wots ob fings datta rest ob us don know aboud. Bein twelbe yeers owd issa great age fora bunny, an eben if Hunny is preddy addled most obba time, he does know aboud a wotta stuff datta rest ob us don know.

Bud I don fink dere's enny dragons inna bottom obba houz. I fink its sum kinda machine down dere dat keeps us warm. Dadda an Maman fuss aboud it a wot, an sum guys come onna truk oncet in awhile an feed it or sumfing an Maman gibs dem munny. So dat's how I know da fing down dere eats sumfing, cos Maman hasta pay for it. Ob course, da onwy way I know dat it hasta be paid for is cos she an Dadda compwain aboud habbin to bemember to go to sumpwace called "da bank" before da guys come to feed da machine.

I figger it hasta be a machine cos Maman doesn't go down dere an tawk to it. In fact, she says she hates it. She says so a wot. She hates "down dere" an won't go down dere. She allus sends Dadda wiffa torch. Now Maman wubs annymuls. She ebben wubs da catz, so I fink dat if dere wassa Dragon "down dere" she wuld at weast try to make friends widdit. She makes friends wid ebberyfing else, ebben Sistah's stoopid yappy puppy anna Collie Dawg, Zachary-Marcus, who comes to bisit us ebbery now an den. (I bited his nose.) So if dis fing wassa reel Dragon wike Hunny finks, den she'd be down dere all concerned an tawkin to it, an force-cuddlin it wike she does to us alla time.

Bud Maman is preddy much obba romantik an she don gib too many thoughts to machines. She uses dem for what dere 'sposed to be used for an den dat's it. Dey go back inna cwoset or whutebber. She doesn't tawk to dem, unwess dey don' werk - den whut she mite say, we hab no werds for in Lagomorphin. She wuldn't say does werds to a annymul, dat's fur sure, aldoh, I hab herd her use dose werd when she's tawkin boud sum certin pipples she obwiously don wike too much. An she names, names, too. Which tends to gib me da impwesshun dat in Maman's werld, annymuls are much more impawtant denna machines or certin pipples.

So ennyways, id is warm in heer. Da Sun is comin fru da windows inna Bun Room an shinin down inna nice bun-sized square in my habbytat. Da houz is makin comfortyable clicky, hummy noises anna fing "down dere" is doin it's job makin ebberywhere warm.

Da onlwiest way dat I know id's cold outside is dat Dadda went oud toda Bank dis mornin. I wuz inna Libbin Room, sleepin wif my tail toward da door, you know, an my nose pointed toward da kitchin - just snoozin, sorta - an den Dadda opined da Frunt Door. Suddenwy *whoosh!* I gots dis blast ob cold air, wike a slap inna butt, rite up my tail!

Well, I just weft. Came up heer to my habbytat inna Bun Room, godded onta my blankie an settled down. An I'm stayin heer... wif my butt pointed toward da door again. So when dey come uppa stairs to see whut I'm geddin up to, dey'll know 'zackly whut I fink ob geddin wokin up bya cold smack ob air. See dis tail? If it's pointin toward you, take a hint!

Posted by Our Warren at 9:27 AM EST
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Tuesday, 6 January 2004
Day Five / First Strand
Hokay, I hab yet to see a good reason for a hoomin to buy a fur or fur-trimmed piece ob clothes. An I am upset 'boud dis.

Yeah, I readed da artykul inna Noo Yawk Times 'bout how wearin fur wuz "oud" because hoomins wuz finally geddin da message dat fur bewongs onna critters dat growed it, bud dat now wearin fur is back "in" again. An I readed da quotes frumma hoomins inna artykul who had ethical pwoblems wif wearin dead animals, anna quotes frumma hoomins who wuld wanna do such a disgustin fing - an you know whut? Dere wuz no good reason ennybunny pud forward for wearin animal fur, 'cept dat it wuz "in fashin".

So whut's dis "fashin"? Is dis sum munny-fing again? I mean, whut does "fashin" mean? I 'spect dat it has sumfing to do wif how pipple feel 'bout demeslbes - wike dey hab to wear certin stuff to feel a certin way. Dat don make sense. I wear my fur an I feel wike me. You wear your skin an feel wike you. You are whut you are; whut you pud onna outside doesn't make you whut you are. No madder whut you wear, you are still whut you are. I am still a bunny.

It wike dis: Maman can pud a harness on me an we kin go toda Church. She an Auntie Paula are tawkin 'boud geddin a certin kind ob harness dat wuld habba shield in colours onna side ob it for Hazel an me. I habben's tawked to Hazel 'boud dis yet, bud I don't fink dat wearin dis harness is gonna make us feel enny dif'frent den we normally do in Church. We will still be bunnies. I will still be an Inkwish Sopt Bunny an Hazel will still be a Fwemmish Giant Bunny. No madder whut kind ob harness we wear, dat won't change.

As far as I kin tell, whut harness we wear won't change da Church. Dere will still be da tabul wiffa cake an cookies onnit after da serbice an dere will still be da crumbs onna floor to be snuffled, anna kidlets feedin us when our Mamans aren't wookin; an dere will still be da nice Priest who finks I'm berry cute an holds me an touches my nose wif his nose. An pwobably, I'll still be wookin for ways to ged up inna Choir where I'm not 'sposed to be, an wanna ged more pets atta Passin Obba Peace, cos dat's why I'm dere, cos I amma "Bassador ob Hope an Peace".

I mean, wearin dat harness isn't gonna change me when I go to Church, and if you'd see Hazel, you know as sure as I'mma bunny dat no harness is gonna change Hazel! We is who we is, no madder whut kinda harness we is wearin!

Anna harness isn't gonna change me intoa dog ora cat or sumfing when I go wif Maman onna bisits to sik pipple, eidder, an I'm sure it's not gonna change Hazel when she goes on her bisits to childwen's an senior's pwaces, eidder. Our harnesses don make us whut we are. Dey mite tell a widdle bit aboud us toda hoomins we meet, bud da harnesses don say a fing aboud us to udder bunnies. Udder bunnies don mind whut sort ob harness we're wearin. Hoomins, well, hoomins seem to wanna hab signs an siggynals to flash to udder hoomins 'boud who dey are, or how impawtant dey are or how much munny dey hab.

An sumhow, "impawtant" hassa wot to do wif "munny" for sum hoomins. Dis seems stwange to me. I dunno how much munny Maman has, bud my Maman issa most impawtant hoomin inna werld to me. She mite not hab enny munny! Bud bunnies don care how much munny our parents hab. We don measure hoomins by munny. Bud hoomins seems to measure udder hoomins by munny, an munny seems to be shown by buyin lives to wear...

So I guess dat's whut "fashin" is - showin off munny. It's wike habbin a sign onna harness, an sumbun wears a dead animal's skin to show dey hab more munny den sumbun else. Dis don make enny sense.

If you gots wots ob munny, instead ob showin it off, wike habbin munny makes you into sumfing, why not use da munny to help sumbun else? Bein able to gib makes you into a lubbin, kindwy hoomin. Not bein able to gib is jus sad an sik. Whuts'sa good ob munny if its not used, or if its just used on stoopid stuff dat nobun aktually needs? A wool coat will keep your skin warm an sheeps don mind gibbin wools. Dey don die frum gibbin wools. Bunnies are borned, lib an den are killed, wif nobun to lub dem, just to gib dere skins.

So whut'cha gonna do - kill to show off?

Posted by Our Warren at 2:30 PM EST
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Monday, 5 January 2004
A Add-on to Day Four / First Strand
Wookit, I'm not gonna make a habit ob addin on, bud I godda axt: Does ennybunny care datta 22 yeer-old pop-tart acted the compweat pootie by gettin tanked, hitched an ditched in alla 24 hours? Bein stoopid is no reason to be bodderin da rest ob us, just wike bein selfish is *so* "wast yeer"!

Send a "hoppy day" e-mail to da person onna nexest 'puter to you, who mite be feelin down. It onwy takes a sekond.

Posted by Our Warren at 1:35 PM EST
Day Four / First Strand
Tidday I was readin Pet Bunny. Dis issa e-mail wist for does pipples dat hab Companion Bunnies, wike our Maman. It's godda wotta hoomins an dere bunnies onnit. Nice pipple, mainly crazy, but dere is more den wun kinda crazy an sum kinds ob crazy are more sane den udders...which makes "sane" wun ob does werds dat rilly means nuffin when you examin it up close.

"Sane" is whut a wotta folks hope dat dey are. It's whutta wotta bunnies know dat dey is. We inna Warren tend to take da day as we find it. If it's rainin, we don do much. Ebben doh we are inside an it's not rainin inside, we snuggle up wif our bondmate an nap, or hab a few strands ob hay an jus generally doze. Whutssa point ob geddin up an runnin aroun when it's nasty outside? Our genetic imprint tells us dat rainy days are gud days for conservin energy forda days when da sun is oud an we kin do a wotta eatin an breedin an impawtant survival stuff. We share dis wif our wild cousins who also don seeda point in goin oud inna yucky wedder. It's bedder to sit an conserb in wess den optimal conditions and dat's whut we do.

Onna udder paw, hoomins race around inna wedder wike dere is no wedder. Dey pud on special clothes, wook up atta sky an dash outta da house all upset or else all resigned an grumpy. Dey wook atta wedder onna tellybishon an sigh an den take medycine cos dere joints hurt when it rains.

An dey call dis "sane". Frumma rabbit point ob beiw, dis is not at all "sane" an shows a distinct wack ob intellygence. Ebben dawgs, who are not all dat bright an hab been accused ob renting brain cells in order to fink pawt-time, hab enuf sense to come in oudda da rain. Dawgs mite be stoopid, but most ob dem are not "insane". Onna udder paw, hoomins, who are 'sposed to be atta top obba food chain inna Smawts Depawtment in Creation, are so addicted to da idea ob makin "munny" dat dey will intenshunally go out inna rain. Now how stoopid issat?

Not onwy are dey so addicted toda munny-idea dat dey go oud inna rain, bud dey are ruinin dere homes in order to ged more munny. Now does dat quallyfy as "sane"? Inna Warren, you know, we hab a pwace to sleep, a pwace to gadder, a pwace to eat an a pwace to go pooties. Just wike a hoomin houz. (Which goes to show pipple dat dere is no such obba fing assa "dumb bunny".) An we don destroy dat. Bud hoomins, who also lib on dis pwanet wif us, are bizzy pavin it ober, cuttin downna trees, diggin it up, frowin out ennybunny who libs dere who isn't dem, an just gen'rally makin a mess dat dey don bodder to clean up. All cos doin dat will make dem munny - so dey can buy more fings to frow oud, or dig wif, or build wif, or destruct wif... id's endwess, dis "munny" fing.

An den sum hoomins who are makin a wotta munny an doin alla dees rilly stoopid fings, ged mad when udder hoomins notice it an try to say, "Hay, stop it." Da hoomins who is makin da mess, who seems to be libbin insane, call da hoomins who wanna habba nice home wif trees an all "insane" an try to make roolz dat wuld put da Nice-Home hoomins inta jails.

So you kinda wook atta werds "insane" an "sane" an you wunder. It's not "sane" to destroy your own houz. An it's not sane to destroy sumbunny else's houz just cos dey are destroyin stuff. All ob dis battin back an forf isn't gonna help grow more trees or stop stoopid hoomins frum cuttin dem down. It issn't gonna stop da diggin up or da pavin ober, orda dumpin orda killin, orda disrespect, or ennyfing. It jus makes hoomins madder at each udder, I've noticed.

So if it don werk, why not stop it an try sumfing else? It's mainly "insane" to stay werkin atta same old fing, espeshully if it issn't werkin - wike diggin a hole dat's alweddy been digged.

You know whut's gonna help? Well, stawt by lookin at whut'cha got. Food? Shelter? Check. Do you rilly *need* to wear dat dead animal's skin to keep you warm, or issit just to impress sumwun esle? Mebbe you culd stawt a noo trend - buy dat udder coat dat issn't made outta somebun's skin, an den send da munny you sabed toa CHARITY OB YOUR CHOICE. Ged your friends to do it wif you. Habba compytishun to see who can kin send da biggest number ob munnies to sumbun who doesn't hab enny.

Wook attit dis way: You wuld habba coat. Da poor animal will still be alibe. Sum hoomin who hassn't seen rain inna rilly long time culd see a widdle shower ob munny.

An you'll feel bedder. Always wantin fings issa werry. Allus stretchin, reachin forda nextest fing, allus habbin to go out intoda rain, graspin an clawin after whutebber is a terrible feelin. Bein "mad" for dis an "mad" for dat issa fing you do to yourselfs. It's "insane". Why go dere? Stay in. Be crazy wike a bunny an habba home. Hab sum hay. Habba rest.

Posted by Our Warren at 11:20 AM EST
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Sunday, 4 January 2004
Day Three / First Strand
Good grief! Geddin heer was half da pwoblem. Nabigatin da WerldWideWeb, ebben wif alla tools an stuff issa Big Task. I fink datta more infortymayshun we get onna puter, da dumber we ged. It's wike we *know* 'bout wots ob fings, bud it's not reel cos it's all happenin onna monnytor. We aren't rilly seein' whut's happenin, it's wike it's happenin to sumbun else, far, far away.

I taked yestidday off. I needed yestidday off. It's cos our Bun Room is entirely too crowded, wike Noo Yawk Ciddy at Rush Hour up dere, lemme tell you. Dis is cos dere are two noo bunnies dat hab come to lib wif us. We was full when dere was sebben ob us, bu nine ob us wif two extry houses issa wotta buns! So we god two noo bunnies heer an dis is whut happened...

Free days ago, Maman godda phone call frumma old veterinarian. Dis guy issa nice guy (fora vet who sticks thermommymeters up your butt) an he cares a wot aboud bunnies (which is sayin a wot, cos dere are a whole wotta vets who don know pooties aboud rabbits 'cept assa way ob makin money). An his wady tells Maman dat dere issa Guy inna office wif two bunnies dat are older an dat da guy is berry sad, cos he hasta pud his two bunnies to sleep.

(For dose ob you who don know, dis means kill dem. In my books, killin is wrong - you hoomins don gib life, so how can you justify takin it away frum somebun else? Until you know how to gib it, you can't take it. Takin sumfing away frum sumbunny else is called "stealin", no madder whut you say, so takin sumfing dat's not your's is wrong, wrong, wrong.)

So da vet called Maman. Den da Guy called Mamn an dis is whut he sed:

He comed frumma pwace called "Liberia" which is a country dat seems to be a good place to be *frum* just now. I digested a few buks, an it seems dat Liberia wassa 'stablished assa country for slabes who had been gibben dere libes back, but who didn't know where in Africa to go back to - so dey were gibbed "Liberia", a pwace in Africa just for dem to make a noo country out ob. A wot ob hoomins went dere an made a governmint an schools an all, bud dere were pwoblems, an bad hoomins came an got greedy an mean. So dey been habbin dis war wif wots ob udder hoomins sufferin an nobun seems to care. It's a shame, rilly. Cos heer are nice hoomins wiffa whole country who need sum help sortin fings out an nobuns' helpin dem.

So dis Guy came frum dere to heer. He didn't know ennybunny an he was On Alone. Now bein On Alone issa horrible fing. It means dat you hab nobunny to care for an nobunny cares for you. You hab no Warren. No udder ones wike you. You godda be on Watch, an on Alert alla time, wif nobun to talk to or waff wif or share wif. So dis Guy was On Alone, by himself. So he god a bunny. He named da bunny "Mouse", cossa bunny was widdle an brown an had widdle uppy ears.

An da Guy an Mouse wuld watcha tellybishon togedder, an sid togedder, an share cereal outta da box an tawk. An den, cossa Guy hadda go to werk an he thought Mouse mite be lonely bein on his On Alone durin da day, da Guy got Mouse a widdle gurl-bun to lib wif him, an named her "Luckie". Luckie was a widdle bigger den Mouse an had Lop ears an wuz white wif fawn spots.

So den, after six yeers, da Guy fell in lub an married a wady. An da wady was preddy happy wiffa bunnies an wiffa Guy an ebberyting, bud den, da wady got pregnant.

An den, suddenly, she didn't want da bunnies aroun. Bunnies are dirty, she sed. Bunnies can't be around babies, she sed. You HAB to get RID obba bunnies, she sed.

Ged rid obba bunnies. Ged rid ob your friends. Ged rid obba wuns dat lubbed da Guy furst before she did. Wike dey are fings. Or furnitchur. Or anyfing 'cept wibbing, breathing friends obba Guy. So da Guy waited, hopin datta wady wuld change her mind.

His hoomin friends said, "Just wet dem go, dere bunnies and dere's wots ob bunnies outside." Bud da Guy knowed dat DOMESTIC BUNNIES are NOT wild bunnies. DOMESTIC bunnies can't live outside wike wild bunnies. Domestic bunnies hab no surbibal skills. Frow dem outside an they DIE.

The Guy wouldn't make his friends homeless. Bud he was afraid to try and rehome dem wiffa ad inna noospaper, too, because sumbun mite take dem to eat dem, or feed dem to snakes or buy dem to hurt dem wif dogs - because atta end obba day, hoomins DON'T CARE. Mouse an Luckie were da Guy's friends an he had taken care ob dem an lubbed dem an he wasn't going to send dem off to horrible places to die in fear an terror.

So he gathered dem up, an wif tears, tooked dem to da vet, an axted dat dey be gibben a dignified death. So dat dey could go safely to da Rainbow Bridge, so he could be sure dat nothing bad wuld ebber happen to dem. Because his bunnies had lubbed him when he was justa Guy frum Liberia, before dere wassa wady orra fambly, or hoomin friends. Dey were a Warren ob Free.

Anna vet told him 'bout Maman an 'bout us. Anna Guy axt Maman if she wuld take Mouse an Luckie to lib heer. An Maman an Dadda sed "Ob course". An dey felt rilly bad forda Guy, an Maman cried.

So Mouse an Luckie are heer inna Bun Room. Mouse is preddy skert, cos he's not used to alla bunnies, bud he's geddin used to us. Luckie is alweady used to alla us. She rilly likes treat-time an is rite dere inna front when Maman an Dadda come in wiffa Craisins an stuff.

Anna Guy is happy cos Luckie an Mouse hab found Forebber Homes, just wike him.

Bud dere are still alla dose hoomins in Liberia. Udder hoomins know alla 'bout Liberia an whut's wrong dere, bud nobuns doin much to help dem. It's wike ebberybuns sayin, "Well, just wet dem go." I dunno why. It's wike, da more dey know 'bout fings goin wrong inna werld, da wess dey wanna do to help out. Bud dat's wrong, cos atta end obba day, nobun shuld ebber be On Alone. Da planet is rilly Wun Big Warren, an each place is as impawtant as ebbery udder. We godda mak sure dat nobun, ebben a country, is On Alone.

Posted by Our Warren at 6:35 PM EST
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Friday, 2 January 2004
Day Two / First Strand
Sekond day ob my blog. I will write sum adbice, I fink, since it is Noo Yeerz an ebberybun seems to be writtin adbice aboud sumfing.

My Adbice Forda Day is "Don Werry". We rabbits nebber werry. We know dat if fings are goin wrong, den fings hab to ged bedder... cos when you're always biewin fings frum gwound lebbel, da onwy way to wook is "UP".

I told you before dat I libbin Our Warren wif Eight Udder Bunnies. One ob dem is Hunny. Hunny is twelbe yeerz old, which is berry old for a housebunny. He issa multi-coloured mini-Lop, an lemme tell you, da only fing aboud him dat is "mini" is his ears. Da rest obba rabbit is preddy darn big. Ennyway, he's old an he's preddy deaf an he's got dose cataract fings ober his eyes an Maman just finks he's close toa angels. Aroun heer da rool issat Hunny Can Do No Wrong .

He is bonded to Poet who is one big old Dutchy Gurl who hassa fing aboud keepin da old boy clean. Dis issa full-time okkypayshun, cos Hunny issa full-time slob. Alla us inna Warren hab pooty-trays, which are wike cat litter-boxes, an we know how to use them. Hunny used to know how to use his, but bein old, he's not good at gettin to his pooty-box in time before sumfing falls outta his butt. So you'll see him ober dere in his habbytat, an suddenly he'll put his hed up an start scurryin toward his pooty-box, an den ~whoops~, it's all ober an he stops scurryin', so you just know dat, oncet again, he's figgered it out too late dat he hada go, went, an now it's all ober until da nextest time.

He also wikes to play wif his wadder. Maman gibbed up gibbin him a boddle ob wadder onna day dat he managed to unscrew it frumma side obba habbytat an flooded ebberyting. Rabbits inside obba habbytats habba wotta time on dere paws to ged inta stuff. Ebben when da habbytat has sixteen square feet ob play space, an is fulla toys, we kin find stuff to ged into.

Now Hunny an Poet habba crock ob wadder dat screws inta da wall. Dadda fought dat it wouldn't be tipped ober or thrown an dumped, an he's mainly right, bud Hunny can dip his ears innit an den fling dat wadder ebberywhere - which he does. So da rest ob us get treated to reg'lar showers ebberytime da old boy goes fora drink.

Budda reel pwoblem wif Hunny missin da witter-box an den flingin wadder issat wadder an pooties mix an what widda hay ebberywhere (in spite ob Maman hooverin it up ebbery day, which is anudder story) dere is one heck obba mess dat Poet tries to clean up. She chases Hunny down ebbery mornin, den geds a good hold on him an gibs him a bodywash. Wedder he wants it or not. Mostly, he don want it, cos he still finks he's Top Bun inna Warren an don hab to do ennyfing he don wanna do. Whut he doesn't realise is dat he's past it, da old fool. Poet is issa one-track rabbit: when she's onna track, nuffin short obba nuclear strike to da brain-pan is gonna stop her. So ebbery day, Hunny Da Big Boss wakes up to his ebben Bigger Boss, his Missus, an has his ears washed.

Bud in rabbit society, we hab dis fing where it's hokay dat Hunny finks he's Top Bun. Da udder bunnies don fight wif him when he's out at playtime an he struts up an wooks in ebberybunny's habbytat. An he leabs "callin cards" outside ob ebberybunny's habbytat wike he's markin terrytorry an we just wet him. He's old an once he wassa Top Bun an could protect da Warren cos he was big an tough an fast an had sharp teef. He wassn't 'fraid ob ennyfing. An he could at da slightest sound. He had great ears - da best ears for alarms. I fink iffa Warren faced a serious threat, he'd be dere helpin me, bud, well, now he can't, but why hurt his feelins by tellin him? He issa good bun, ebben if he is Maman's fav'rit an can't hit da witter-box wiffa barge pole.

So he wanted to add sumfing to my blog an I sed, hokay. So here's whut he sed:
Hunny's Obserbashun: "When fings goes wrong inna Warren, my job as Senior Top Bun is to and run to occupye the highest gwound... Which in my
werld issa pooty-box. I guess it says sumfing aboud your werld when da highest point innit issa full pooty-box..."<*ponder>

So, wike, whuts da highest point in your werld, den?
Keep wookin *UP*.

Posted by Our Warren at 10:06 AM EST
Thursday, 1 January 2004
Day One / First Strand
I called dis da Hay Diaries. Seemed aboud right. Widdle play on werds. Rabbits need hay in dere diets and hay is wun ob does fings dat is wike life - messy, in wots ob bits, nebber-ending an composed ob wots ob strands dat wead no pwace in particular.

We gotta bale ob hay heer atta Warren. Maman keeps it inna big plastic tub inna hall, an no matter whut she does to contain it, it's ebberywhere. Sum always falls out when Maman opens da tub, and den da catz walk innit an spread it all ober da hall; den da Dadda treads innit an tracks hay downna stairs. Frumma stairs, da hay strands migrate on dere own into da libbin room, an fru da dinin room, on into da kitchin an den before you kin blink, ebbery room inna houz has got hay innit.

It's just untidy stuff, bud we bunnies need to hab it in our diets. Hoomins fink bunnies lib on carrots. Dey watch tellybision an fink dat Bugs Bunny is sum kind ob Authority On Rabbits. Hoomins seem to hab trubble wif Reality dat way. Dey see sumfing onna tellybishon an fink it has to be troo.

Reality is dat rabbits need hay to help dem process udder foods, an dat too many carrots are bad for bunnies. Carrots hab too much sugar in dem an not enuf fiber. Bud do you ebber see "hay" menshuned inna cartoon wif Bugs Bunny? No. Not dat dere is ennyfing wrong wif Bugs - dere isn't. He's not sposed to be a spokes-bun for bunny-care. He's "Entertainment". Bud whut hoomins fortyged is dat Bugs issn't a real rabbit; he'ssa imagination obba rabbit. An imagination can lib on carrots an sugar, bud a real rabbit can't. We need hay, as messy as it is. Bud hoomins will belib in Bugs an not belib in whut's rilly da troof. A berry sad fing for bunnies who ged into homes wif ignorant hoomins who don' learn how to care for dem prop'rly.

I don fink hoomins shuld rely onna media for so much ob dere infortymashun. Da Tellybishon, da noospapers, sum obba books dat I see don seem to be berry real. Real life isn't tidy an simple. It's a whole wotta messy hay wiffa few nice carrots.

Posted by Our Warren at 3:25 PM EST
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