Good grief! Geddin heer was half da pwoblem. Nabigatin da WerldWideWeb, ebben wif alla tools an stuff issa Big Task. I fink datta more infortymayshun we get onna puter, da dumber we ged. It's wike we *know* 'bout wots ob fings, bud it's not reel cos it's all happenin onna monnytor. We aren't rilly seein' whut's happenin, it's wike it's happenin to sumbun else, far, far away.
I taked yestidday off. I needed yestidday off. It's cos our Bun Room is entirely too crowded, wike Noo Yawk Ciddy at Rush Hour up dere, lemme tell you. Dis is cos dere are two noo bunnies dat hab come to lib wif us. We was full when dere was sebben ob us, bu nine ob us wif two extry houses issa wotta buns! So we god two noo bunnies heer an dis is whut happened...
Free days ago, Maman godda phone call frumma old veterinarian. Dis guy issa nice guy (fora vet who sticks thermommymeters up your butt) an he cares a wot aboud bunnies (which is sayin a wot, cos dere are a whole wotta vets who don know pooties aboud rabbits 'cept assa way ob makin money). An his wady tells Maman dat dere issa Guy inna office wif two bunnies dat are older an dat da guy is berry sad, cos he hasta pud his two bunnies to sleep.
(For dose ob you who don know, dis means kill dem. In my books, killin is wrong - you hoomins don gib life, so how can you justify takin it away frum somebun else? Until you know how to gib it, you can't take it. Takin sumfing away frum sumbunny else is called "stealin", no madder whut you say, so takin sumfing dat's not your's is wrong, wrong, wrong.)
So da vet called Maman. Den da Guy called Mamn an dis is whut he sed:
He comed frumma pwace called "Liberia" which is a country dat seems to be a good place to be *frum* just now. I digested a few buks, an it seems dat Liberia wassa 'stablished assa country for slabes who had been gibben dere libes back, but who didn't know where in Africa to go back to - so dey were gibbed "Liberia", a pwace in Africa just for dem to make a noo country out ob. A wot ob hoomins went dere an made a governmint an schools an all, bud dere were pwoblems, an bad hoomins came an got greedy an mean. So dey been habbin dis war wif wots ob udder hoomins sufferin an nobun seems to care. It's a shame, rilly. Cos heer are nice hoomins wiffa whole country who need sum help sortin fings out an nobuns' helpin dem.
So dis Guy came frum dere to heer. He didn't know ennybunny an he was On Alone. Now bein On Alone issa horrible fing. It means dat you hab nobunny to care for an nobunny cares for you. You hab no Warren. No udder ones wike you. You godda be on Watch, an on Alert alla time, wif nobun to talk to or waff wif or share wif. So dis Guy was On Alone, by himself. So he god a bunny. He named da bunny "Mouse", cossa bunny was widdle an brown an had widdle uppy ears.
An da Guy an Mouse wuld watcha tellybishon togedder, an sid togedder, an share cereal outta da box an tawk. An den, cossa Guy hadda go to werk an he thought Mouse mite be lonely bein on his On Alone durin da day, da Guy got Mouse a widdle gurl-bun to lib wif him, an named her "Luckie". Luckie was a widdle bigger den Mouse an had Lop ears an wuz white wif fawn spots.
So den, after six yeers, da Guy fell in lub an married a wady. An da wady was preddy happy wiffa bunnies an wiffa Guy an ebberyting, bud den, da wady got pregnant.
An den, suddenly, she didn't want da bunnies aroun. Bunnies are dirty, she sed. Bunnies can't be around babies, she sed. You HAB to get RID obba bunnies, she sed.
Ged rid obba bunnies. Ged rid ob your friends. Ged rid obba wuns dat lubbed da Guy furst before she did. Wike dey are fings. Or furnitchur. Or anyfing 'cept wibbing, breathing friends obba Guy. So da Guy waited, hopin datta wady wuld change her mind.
His hoomin friends said, "Just wet dem go, dere bunnies and dere's wots ob bunnies outside." Bud da Guy knowed dat DOMESTIC BUNNIES are NOT wild bunnies. DOMESTIC bunnies can't live outside wike wild bunnies. Domestic bunnies hab no surbibal skills. Frow dem outside an they DIE.
The Guy wouldn't make his friends homeless. Bud he was afraid to try and rehome dem wiffa ad inna noospaper, too, because sumbun mite take dem to eat dem, or feed dem to snakes or buy dem to hurt dem wif dogs - because atta end obba day, hoomins DON'T CARE. Mouse an Luckie were da Guy's friends an he had taken care ob dem an lubbed dem an he wasn't going to send dem off to horrible places to die in fear an terror.
So he gathered dem up, an wif tears, tooked dem to da vet, an axted dat dey be gibben a dignified death. So dat dey could go safely to da Rainbow Bridge, so he could be sure dat nothing bad wuld ebber happen to dem. Because his bunnies had lubbed him when he was justa Guy frum Liberia, before dere wassa wady orra fambly, or hoomin friends. Dey were a Warren ob Free.
Anna vet told him 'bout Maman an 'bout us. Anna Guy axt Maman if she wuld take Mouse an Luckie to lib heer. An Maman an Dadda sed "Ob course". An dey felt rilly bad forda Guy, an Maman cried.
So Mouse an Luckie are heer inna Bun Room. Mouse is preddy skert, cos he's not used to alla bunnies, bud he's geddin used to us. Luckie is alweady used to alla us. She rilly likes treat-time an is rite dere inna front when Maman an Dadda come in wiffa Craisins an stuff.
Anna Guy is happy cos Luckie an Mouse hab found Forebber Homes, just wike him.
Bud dere are still alla dose hoomins in Liberia. Udder hoomins know alla 'bout Liberia an whut's wrong dere, bud nobuns doin much to help dem. It's wike ebberybuns sayin, "Well, just wet dem go." I dunno why. It's wike, da more dey know 'bout fings goin wrong inna werld, da wess dey wanna do to help out. Bud dat's wrong, cos atta end obba day, nobun shuld ebber be On Alone. Da planet is rilly Wun Big Warren, an each place is as impawtant as ebbery udder. We godda mak sure dat nobun, ebben a country, is On Alone.