The Hay Diaries
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26 Mar, 07 > 1 Apr, 07
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6 Jun, 05 > 12 Jun, 05
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16 May, 05 > 22 May, 05
11 Apr, 05 > 17 Apr, 05
4 Apr, 05 > 10 Apr, 05
28 Mar, 05 > 3 Apr, 05
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Sunday, 20 February 2005
Biological Diversity
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Insecurity Rains!
Topic: Movin' On!

Wow. Hoomins only hab two hands. Dey are rilly challenged when it comes down to bein' annymuls.

It's too bad that they don't hab enuf 'pendanges, you know? Cos it seems like dey gots too much to do, an don't hab da 'quipmint to do it wif.

Wike dis mornin'.

Ebberyfing was preddy quiet, an I was habbin sum hay, wike Hunny teached...taught me, anna Fat Cat, whose name is Cokie, comed...came out toda gate inna Bun Room an axted:

"Why you bunnies gots fud alla time an I don't?"

So I telled...told him, "Wookit, Cokes, if you didn't eat alla your stuff anna dawg's stuff anna udder cat's stuff, too, dere wuld still be sum stuff weft in your bowl. Want sum hay?"

And he said, "I'm gonna go wake uppa Dadda an ged sum fud, budda Dawg's inna doorway an I can't get fru wiffout him jumpin up and geddin in my face an tryin to 'herd' me away frumma bed. It's MY bed an dat's MYDadda, too! I don't wike it heer! Dis noo house stinks."

And I said toda Cokie-cat: "Wookit, you godda share. It whut we do. It's bein pawt obba Warren."

Anna Cokie sat down an sed, "Cats don't gots Warrens, Rabbit. You is pawt ob My Chowder. We gots Chowders anna females, wike KayCee are in charge. Now KayCee knew howta runna Chowder, lemme tell you! But Phil-da-Lad taked her wif him an weft me wif da Stoopit Cat who don't know how to run nuffin, who issa 'fraid obba Dawg - KayCee was nebber afraid, cept forda wun time when she was wike, velcroed toda dawg's face an he couldn't see an dey bof ran into da wall, wif ebberyone screamin', incloodin Maman - but KayCee nebber letta fud bowls ged empty. She knowed howta get things dun. Da Stoopit Cat dat libs heer don't know datta Dawg issa herder an don't bite. You jus walks unner neaf ob him when he's tryin to herd you an he geds his hed tangled up in his legs tryin to follow you an falls ober. It issn't hard to mess wif dis Dawg's hed."

An I sed, "So, wike, whut's da pwoblem?"

An Cokie stawted to gwoom himself, which is sad, cos I don't hab to gwoom myself. I gwoom Missy and she gwooms me. I fink cats hab it hard cos dey do alla dere gwooming OnAlone.

An between licks, Cokie sed, "I don' wanna share. Cats don' share. We hab stuff. My chair inna sitting room, My bowl. My bed. My Dadda! Me, my, MINE."

So I wooked at Missy an Missy wooked at me an I knowed...knew 'zacktly whut she was finking, namely, dat to be pawt obba Warren, you hab to do fings Alla Us Togedder.

An I also know dat when Cokie wailed, "MINE" wike dat, datta Dawg was gonna heer it, an he did, an preddy soon, oud he comes, wif his toenails goin tappy-tap onna floor obba kitchin.

Anna Dawg is wike, "So whuttsup wif you, Cat?"

An Cokie glares atta Dawg an says, "Go wook inna bowl."

So da Dawg goes to wook inna bowls dat is lined up by da Welsh Dresser, and Cokie whispurrs to me,

"Dat Dawg is so stoopit, too. Does ennyfing you tell him. I don' ged it! Hassn't he gots enny Pride at all?"

Anna Dawg ambles back an yawns an says, "Dey is all empty wif nuffin in'em. So wassamatter? Fud will come when Dadda wakes up. Hope it's soon. I godda go, you know, OutSide, an check my yard."

Anna Cokie Cat grumbles, "Oh yeah, your yard. How could I have forgotten it's your yard an I'm not 'lowed out dere?"

An I sed, "Wookit, Cokie, I'm not 'lowed out inna yard eidder an I don wanna go. I gotta habbytat an dat's whut's rite forda Warren. So da Dawg has gotta yard. You gotta red chair inna sittin' room."

"Only when Dadda's not innit," Sed Cokie. "Cos when he's innit, he wants me outta it. Says I'm too big an datta Dawg wants pets too an dat he don't hab enuf hands an dat we is all 'insekure'."

An I sed, "I'm not insekure. I'm preddy sekure rite where I am. You ged usta fings when dey are around for a widdle while."

Anna Cokie-cat wooked at me an at Beebe in da udder habbytat an Beebe-Bunny sed, "Yo!" which is his normal comment on most fings.

Den Cokie shook his hed, an sed, "Wookit, Dawg, dere is no fud. You gets to go outside inna yard. You ged alla pets an fusses -"

"Do not." Sedda Dawg. "Maman is allus tellin' me, 'Marc, Down.' which is a Command, and I hafta Obey Commands. I lernt dat in Beedy'ence Skool. When I Obey Commands, I am part obba Pack. Not Obeying Commands puts me outside obba Pack and that is not good."

So I axted da Dawg, "Whutssa 'Pack" fing?"

Anna Dawg sed, "Like a Warren, but for dawgs, an it has dif'frunt Roolz."

Anna Cokie-cat sneezed, cossa Dawg is sheddin fluff.

And den Cokie sed, "Well, I ain't in no 'Pack'."

Anna Dawg sed, "Ebberyone heer is inna Pack. Dat's whut dis is - da Pack. Dadda issa Alpha Male, Maman issa Alpha Female. I'm Sekond Male, an you are down dere wiffa rest ob my 'sponsibilities."

Anna Cokie-Fat-Cat sed, "I ain't pawt obba Pack, you Stoopit Dawg! You are a pawt ob My Chowder,"

So I inner'rupted him an sed, "I thought we wassa One Big Warren, Alla Us Togedder."

An we all wooked at each udder.

Anna Dawg wet outta small "peep" ob anxiety an sort ob collapsed onna floor.

"I dunno whut we are, but I know I gotta go OutSide rilly soon!" He whined.

"Why can't you use a litter-box like da west ob us?" axted Cokie, gettin' up.

"Cos I amma Dawg. Hey, Cat, where you goin'?"

Cos Cokie was on his feets and thuddin outta da kitchin on his way toda dinin' room where I couldn't see him, but I could heer him anna Dawg still arguin':

Cokie: Gonna wake up Dadda. Get off my tail, you stoopit dawg!

Dawg: You can't wake uppa Dadda! It's not rite to disturb da Alpha Male! It's against da Roolz!

Cokie: An wike I told you bifore where you can stick your Roolz. (Nuffin is as sarcastik assa Cat, lemme tell you!)

Dawg: Bud you hafta Obey Commands.

Cokie: Put your "Commands" rite back there along wif your "Roolz". I amma Cat. Inna Chowder, only da Alpha Female an that would beKayCee who isn't heer can tell me whut to do.

Dawg: The Alpha Female is Maman!

By now, da Dawg was barkin, anna Cokie-Cat musta jumped onna bed cos I herd Dadda yellin, "Will you two buggers pack it in?" an he was angry.

An sure enuf, preddy soon, here comed..came da Dawg, anna Cokie-Cat, followed by a rilly meeny-faced Dadda, all poundin fru da kitchin.

So Dadda opined da door anna Dawg went OutSide, an den da Fat Cat an Dadda went back innu da Kitchin an Dadda poured Kitty-kibble inna bowls, anna Dawg began to bark greetin's toda udder dawgs inna area, an Dadda hollared, "Pack it in, Marc!" an Marc did, cos axtchually, he's preddy smart fora dawg.

An den Dadda sets da bowl ob kitty-kibble onna floor an stawts makin' tea for himself an coffee for Maman.

An he's wike, well, grumblin, to himself, sort ob rumblin wike his tea-wadder-boiler, sayin',

"Only got two hands..." an den he comes innu da Bun Room an opins Da Big White Box, takes outta milk jug, slams da door, an wooks at me an says, "An whutta you buggers want?"

An I wooked at him an sed...said, "We're fine. But da udder two... Well, dere mite be sum ishoos..."

But I don't fink he herd me, cos he was alreddy on his way back innu da Kitchin. Hoomins don't hab big ears for rilly good listenin'.

An dey only hab two hands...

Posted by Our Warren at 9:50 AM EST
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