I fink I ought to point oud here dat dis issa nineteenf day obba monf ob May - Just so you know dat my datin system is skrewed up bud is at weast cwose toda mawk.
Maman sed if I ebber ged back on trak, she's gonna holda sellybrashun.
Da Cokie-Fat-Cat waked up compwainin. Dadda sed if he don shutit, he's gonna be a furry cawpet anna set ob violin stwings. We don godda violin an Maman sed datta better 'cello stwings are made oudda Purlon, so I don know whut good Dadda hopes to 'komplish.
Cokie is upsed cos id is cwoudy oud, cos his food-bowl god empty ober-nite, cos his winder wassn opin early enfu dis mawnin, an cos he issn awoud to go downna "basement", wherebber dat is. Nobunny 'cept Dadda anna Lad an Sherwin issa'woud downna "basement" ennyhows, so I don know why he is so upsed aboud it.
Bud dat's da fing aboud cats - dey ged upsed ober ebberfing.
An dey HAB ebberyfing!
Nuffin ticks me off wike sumbun who compwains alla time when dey hab ebberyfing dey culd possibwy wan.
Cats ebben hab more comiks.
Hab you notised dat? Dey hab more comiks inna funny pages obba noospapers den ebben dawgs - an dere ara'wotta dawgs, too. Berry few bunnies, doh. In fack, when Maman an I read da noospapers inna mawnin, dere is onwy ONE bunny an dat is onwy sumtimes!
An whenna bunny is featchured inna comik "For Bedder of For Worse", guess whut? Da Bunny, whose name is "Butterscotch" is allus doin sumfing naughty. A couple ob days ago, he was eatin alla fwowers his mawmie had pwanted.
Now dat stoopid cat, "Garfield" is allus naughty. He is wike Cokie, fat an wazy, bud ebberybunny finks he's funny.
He is nod funny - he is spoilt.
Wook at "Fred Basset". He issa dawg inna comiks, an he is also spoilt.
Bud BOF ob dees guys are allus habbin it "rain onna wrong field", as Maman says.
An den dere'sa bunny in "FBOFW", an da poor bunny don' ebben gedda tawk!
Dis issa outrage. Alla cats anna dawgs inna funny-pages tawk, ebben da cats an dawgs in "Mutts", bud onwy WUNCE INNA WHILE ISSA BUNNY FEACHERED!
Now I gen'rally 'proobe ob "Mutts" an "FBOFW" cos dose comiks at weast hab bunnies inn'em sumtimes, bud dees udder comik-artists, I dunno. Dey are stoopid.
Maman told me datta "Simpsons" onna TeeBee stawted oud as bunnies, bud datta artist changed dem innu peeble.
Well, hey, Matt! Dat wassa bad moob!
You culda been a hero to billions obba'pressed bunnies an gibben a message 'boud reskews, hope an forebber homes. But you blew it an seddled for millions ob peebles, insted.
Yeah, I know: you went wiffa munny.
You know, I fink I'm gonna go sulk. Id's cwoudy oud, anna winder issn opin, an nobunny is wettin me oudda my habbytat an dere is no hay till Maman goes to buy sum.
Anna stoopid cat won't shuddup.
I'm going back to bed.