Now Playing: Not Eating Right
Maman is upset because she feels we heer at Our Warren are not Eating.
She is worried that maybe Missy's tummy might hurt because she is not eating her Romaine, and she is beginning to bug Foxie because she only wants to eat baby organic carrots and not Romaine. She has accused Mr Mouse of being a "picky eater" because Lastest Night, he lunged at her onna'count obba Fakt the lightning made him Nervous and he didn't want his Hearts o' Romaine. Then she came afta me onna'count obba Fakt I stole from Missy's pile of Salad (Yeah, like Missy never steals frum me!) and scored a coupla-bites of carrot.
Only Dusty seems to be eating to Maman's satisfaction, and that boy eats Ev'ryfing he can find and produces the pooties to Proove It, Lemme tell you!
So now we have Maman, looking innu our Pootie-boxes, and holding us up to check us unner'neaf, and looking innu all of our food-crocks and trying to pry up Bunny-Lips to look innu our mouths to see Our Toofies because she is Werried About the Springtime Shed making our tummies hurt and destroying our Appytites and messing with Our Lower Digestive Tracts.
It's enuf to drive a HouzRabbit nutz!
Lemme tell you about The Hay.
There is enuf Hay going on Around Heer that Maman hasta sweep up the BunRoom twice ev'ry day. I mean, I'm sorting for all I am worth, and the stuff keeps on coming!
Don't get me wrong - I love Hay! Lovely, fragrant, locally-grown Timothy-hay - there is nothing better! - but having it rain down on you, getting in your ears, making a swamp in your water-crock, filling up your nostrils and covering over your Salad so that you gotta dig to find the Green Stuff - y'know, it's Just Not-Right!
The Morning Handful usta be sumfing to Look Forward To. You woke up around Still Looks Like Dark, and there were pellets to munch, grooming to be done, a bit of tidying up to do before the Dawg wandered outta the BedRoom, dragging Dadda on behind, to go for his Morning Patrol. And then Maman would show up for her Morning Coffee and get us the Morning Handful frumma Hay Locker outside.
And that was fine.
Nice, big handful of fresh Hay to sort through, and enjoy - clip this, sort that, eat a strand here, munch a bunch of that, and you could feel-the-love. But NOW - geez! - Now there is Hay everywhere. It's not "feel-the-love", it's eat-it-or-get-buried. I'm eating to stay afloat onna Sea of Stalks.
Worse is if I don't eat this mess down, Maman will come in, scoop up what Missy and I can't manage to eat, cart it away and then TOSS IN MORE!
And all onna'count obba Fakt she's afraid we're not Eating Right.
We need help in heer, lemme tell you!
And worse, it's not only us - it's bunnies ev'ry wheres!
Auntie Carla is werried that poor Normy isn't putting out his normal Out-Put (if you know whut I mean) and Unkul Michael is "Keeping an eye on" Our Cousins Janie and Bailey in Noo Yawk. Poor Janie hadda v-e-t called on her for not Eating Right! Ev'ry wheres treats are being decreased and getting replaced by "Good For You Foods" - I mean, Whut's Up With That?
And Yestidday, Maman said to Dadda, "I dunno, but maybe we're gonna have to switch from buying Romaine to another type of green..."
And I'm, like, "Waidaminit - Romaine is a Foundational Food! I've been eating Romaine Cups Piled High With Fresh Herbs Garnished With Baby Organic Carrots and Froot Slices and/or Berries In Season for the past Five Years! You gotta-be-kiddin' me!"
But seeing as how she said it as she was tossing another handful of Hay innu Missy and my habbytat, Maman didn't hear me - and by the time I'd fought my way to the crest of this latest Hay-wave, she had alreddy mooved on to go bother the Dawg. Seems he's not Eating Right, either...
-------------------------- by George