Now Playing: Almost Ooops
Well, yestidday Maman was off sick, which mostly meant that we were off, too, onna'count obba Fakt that if she wasn't Uppystairs in her Study, None of Us Togedder were there, either.
In Fakt, she did most of her Being Sick onna sofa inna Sitting Room, by herself, with Da Dawg sitting there, being bored, and this was onna'count obba Fakt Dadda told him to "Guard" Maman when he left the Houz. But, assa Dawg said (when he was on wunna his trips out to have a drink atta Water Bowl inna Kitchin),
"There is no trick in 'Guarding' sumfing that don't moov."
So Da Dawg was bored and Alla Us Togedder were mostly Bored, too.
Then Phil and Laura showed up and we all got Baby Organic Carrots (which was Nice) but then they hadda go Uppystairs onna'count obba Fakt Maman couldn't Stand Enny Noise, so *that* was Pretty Much the End of *That*, too.
Then it began to rain.
And Missy and I were all tucked up in Our Habbytat, and suddinly Mr Mouse said frum over in his Habbytat, "I wunder Whut Happined toda Catz?"
And Missy settled her Gen'rus Pro'porshuns down further nextest to me inna Hay, plumped herself out and was, like, "Humpf. Good riddince to Catz!"
And as I was sorta scrambling to make way for my hexpanding Bunwife, I was, like, "I dunno, but I haven't seen them inna'while."
And Mouse (who doesn't have to scramble to make way for ennybunny onna'count obba Fakt he issa Singletary and has his Whole Habbytat to himself) said, "Well, Beep-da-Udder-Cat sneeked Downnastairs for a Sekond the udder day and squeeked that she didn't like their Noo Litter. I didn't even know they had Noo Litter!"
"Whut's not to like about 'litter'?" I axted Mouse. "We have Yestiday's Noos alla time. Don't the Catz have their Very Own Kind of Litter, too?"
And Mouse said that he thought they did, and he thought the Catz were just about The Most Spoilt Catz Onna Planet of Our Warren, Ennyways.
And then Missy added that she thought it was Pretty Good that the Catz were now Banned to their Own Apartmint Uppystairs, onna'count obba Fakt Catz have no place in Her Werld, Ennyways.
And she stretched out her head forwards and her legs backwards, which pretty much meant that she was taking up a Goodly Porshun Obba'Vailable Sleeping Area in Our Habbytat. So I nudged her, which was pretty much like poking innu a pillow.
And outside, it was raining more.
So Mouse was having a Small Snack and he called over to me, "Hey, George."
And I was, like, "Yeah?"
And Mouse was, like, "You napping?"
And I was, like, "Not rilly. Missy's kinda inna'way of Primary Optimal Sleeping Arrangemints."
And Missy opined wun eye and said, "We're takin' turns."
And I was, like, "Lookit, we don't *have* to 'take turns'! The Onliest Time we have to Take Turns is when you lie all kitty-corner inna Habbytat and stick me heer, inna corner! Udderwise there is Plenty of Room in heer for Two, mebbe Three HouzRabbits."
And Missy said, "Are you callin' me a Cat?"
And luckily, I stopped to fink this over before I said ennyfing else, onna'count obba Fakt Missy Hates Catz.
Now Missy has Allus Hated Catz. Even before I knew her, before I even came to Our Warren, since before even Missy came to Our Warren, she has Hated Catz.
It has sumfing to do with her kithood *before* she was rescued.
Maman and Dadda didn't know this at Furst, and neither did Unkul Michael (Bailey and Janie's Dadda) who was her Fosta Dadda, onna'count obba Fakt Unkul Michael didn't Hab Enny Catz for her to hate.
But as soon as Missy got to Our Warren that would be her Forever Home, she Met Cokie-the-Fat-Cat and KayCee-Empress-Kitty (who was living heer onna'count obba Fakt that Phil was inna Navy).
Now, Cokie had alreaddy tumbled toda Fakt that he wasn't welcome inna BunRoom onna'count obba Fakt that Belinda Bunny had alreddy head-butted him outta there. And as he had rolled acrosst the floor, it had been impressed innu his furry skull that Messing With Bunnies was Not A Good Idea, even for Rilly Big Catz.
But KayCee was dif'frunt frum Cokie. She was small, fast and she was Empress and could beat-the-snot outta Cokie. So she didn't rekognize the Fakt that, while she might not be able to Win-Against-Belinda, she might not loose Againsta-'Nudder-Bunny.
And this is Part Obba Lore of Our Warren as it was Told To Me, George by me,Hunny *Senior Bun* of Our Warren. So you know it is Troo.
So KayCee came innu the BunRoom, Just Looking - which is sumfing that Catz do. There is no Hostile Intent or Ennyfing like that, it is Just Looking because Catz want to See Everyfing, even if it Is Not Their's. So KayCee came Just Looking, and was walking down through the BunRoom.
And she kept a 'Spektable Distance frum Belinda Bunny's Habbytat, onna'count obba Fakt KayCee was Far Frum Stoopit - and Belinda was *There*, giving her the English Spot Stare, that just happins to be a lot like the Border-Collie Warning Stare that says, "Make my day, stoopit."
And KayCee was Bright Enuf not to try on enny of *that*. So she gave Belinda a Wide Berth, and went on walking through the BunRoom. Then she got to the end of the BunRoom, and turned around, hoisted her tail like a flag, and began parading back the way she had come...
Which brought her close by Missy's Habbytat.
(And Bemember that this happined Before Missy Met Me (Which is Why it is part obba Lore, because I wasn't Rescued Yet) and Missy was living on her own in Our Warren assa Single Urban HouzRabbit!)
And Missy was watching KayCee saunter up the BunRoom, and she was paying partik'lar 'tenshun to KayCee's waving tail that was waving up inna air like a flag just above KayCee's smug little face.
And assa tip obba tail went past, Missy grabbed it in her mouth, and pulled.
Now MissyBun issa Big Beautiful Bunny-Gurl of Gen'rus Pro'porshuns, with Big Beautiful Paddle-Feets Attached Onna Rear-Sekshuns. So once she had the Cat-tail in her teefs, she began to use those Big Beautiful Paddle-Feets to Begin to Back Up, one Paddle-Foot atta Time, inna *RILLY* determined manner. And she was pulling the Cat-tail, with the KayCee Cat still attached, further and further innu the Habbytat with her.
The onliest problem was that the KayCee Cat-Tail was still attached to the KayCee Kitty, and the KayCee Kitty wouldn't fit through the Habbytat door!
And wunna the fings you gotta know about KayCee Kitty issat she screams. It doesn't matter if she is winning or losing - as soon as ennyfing lays hold ob her Sacred Kitty Person, she starts screaming and doesn't stop. So as soon as MissyBun had got hold of the KayCee Kitty-tail, KayCee had started screaming.
And didn't stop.
Which was Whut Attracted Maman and Dadda to come running innu the BunRoom in time to see Missy (with her Big Paddle-Feets going determinedly Wun Atta Time) trying to strain KayCee Kitty butt-end furst through the habbytat door.
Which was preddy much how Our Warren discovered that MissyBun Hates Catz.
And here I had gone and used the werd "kitty-corner" in describing how Missy was taking up Alla'vailable Sleeping Area in Our Habbytat, which was preddy much accusing her of *being* a cat.
Talk about an "Almost Ooops" moment...
So I looked at Missy and Missy looked at me and I suddinly began Pondering My Futchur Continued Peace and Harmony onna'count obba Fakt I am Not A Stoopit HouzRabbit.
And I settled down on my paws innu a tidy Loaf Position, tucked up my tail and lowered my ears until wun ear was lying along my back and the udder was flopping 'Feckshunately acrosst Missy's head, and I said,
"Even if you hextpand to cover the entire habbytat, I got alla room inna werld!"
And over in his habbytat I heard Mouse chuckle over his pellet-crock.
------------------------------------- By George